I like to remind any male that thinks he is asserting some sort of dominance over me by calling me “pussy” or the “c” word, that he himself has a mother. Since this particular males idolizes his mother, I like to ask him if his mother is weak. And since he was not born via c-section, that he was pushed out of her c*nt, and probably experienced massive amounts of physical pain, and had her body ripped apart, but she still took care of him.

This leads to much cognitive dissonance since it tends to put them back in the place they try to put you in.

Also, your sister is awesome! Love that she pointed out to this jerk that his daughter will soon have to deal with charmers like himself.

Very well defined post. I totally agree with your thoughts. Thanks for the sharing this amazing

Well good luck for many of us good single men nowadays trying to meet a good woman that isn’t a Whore.

Dumb ass women are everywhere nowadays. Enough said.

A very excellent topic which was well said. Especially the ones that are out there these days unfortunately.

Very well defined post. I totally agree with your thoughts. Thanks for the share.

Here’s the thing: according to biology, the female “cunt” is valuable. Females produce one sexual cell every month, while males produce millions in a day. The famale is the one to gestate the offspring, breastfeed, and of all mammals our children seem to have the longest period of need, taken care of by their parents, unable to obtain food on their own or precreate themselves. Procreation is, of course, the definition of life itself.

So when a man calls you a “cunt”, it is only made violent through his ignorance of what your cunt is worth. The value of our procreative energy input means the male is supposed to be solely responsible for bringing in the wealth once we are caring for the children. To expect the female’s economic contribution on top of the visceral input of her procreative powers, is to work her double-time. It is beyond our physical and social evolution, and the working female does not breed as much.

I’ve been in several violent encounters with my husband. Every single one has boiled down to his work productivity, and his sharing of financial resources with me. He has become verbally and physically violent with me when he has failed to make as much money as he expected, and when he has hoarded his money trying to keep it from me. The laws still, thankfully, point out that the wife is worth 40-46% of your income if she bears your children, even in the event you separate.

Just as it can be understood that male violence is caused by his financial failings to the female, it is known that men who listen to their wives ideas are more successful financially and in family building.

I’m a woman and I call other women cunts *shrug* only when they deserve it though.

I give you exhibit A:

Katie Hopkins.

I give you exhibit B:

Piers Morgan.

They are both cunts. In fact, they are professional cunts. They have fostered their reputations very deliberately, and they make a point of making revolting statements in order to upset people and engender very specific reactions.

At the moment, Hopkins is using the death of her grandfather to elicit sympathy. How anyone perceives this is, of course, up to them, but I would ask you to juxtapose these two statements that she has publicly made.

On the death of her grandfather:

“Why does death come so slowly and yet so fast when waiting for a loved one to slip away?”

On refugee children’s corpses being washed up on beaches:

“Show me pictures of coffins, show me bodies floating in water, play violins and show me skinny people looking sad. I still don’t care.”

I am pretty certain that no-one here would see this last statement and think that it is anything less than fucking disgusting. It is obvious that many here would balk at calling her a cunt, and that is their right. However, I am truly offended that it is suggested that if I call this appalling human being a cunt, then I am also doing this to my beautiful daughter and my lovely wife. Or actually, any other woman.

It is not a term that I use regularly, especially to refer to a woman, but I don’t understand why I am “allowed” to call a man it, and not a woman, without my motivation for both uses judged by someone who does not know me at all?

Katie Hopkins is a cunt. And me saying that does not mean I am not Sean Melton. She is a cunt because she says shocking things to gain notoriety and infamy. She sees refugees as sub human, and does not care when children escaping wars are forced from their homes and die in their desperate attempt to survive. And not only does she not care, she wears this appalling lack of empathy like a badge of honour.

I am a nice guy. I am not perfect, but I certainly do not have an issue with women because I call someone who deliberately acts like a cunt, a cunt. I have fought misogyny for years, often to my detriment, because so many men see the situation as “us and them”, and react very aggressively when they are faced with what they see as a traitor. I despise misogyny in all its forms.

But Katie Hopkins is still a cunt, and me calling her this does not mean I am a misogynist.

“You cannot hate a woman for speaking her mind without hating all of us. Women are a package deal.”

Nah, sorry, that isn’t fair or true. If Katie Hopkins wants to laugh in the face of dead children, then it is not remotely fair to liken this to another woman who has benign political views that one simply might disagree with. Women are not a homogeneous mass who all speak for women everywhere when they strike an opinion.

Katie Hopkins is a cunt, and she makes a living out of being one. And me calling a spade a spade does not mean I think on any level that someone who has the same chromosomes is the same.

So this had never ever happened to me before Saturday night when I told a story about how much my daughter Grace loved you and Abby on Abby’s facebook page. And then there was a reply from some guy named Matt who said similar things about me. Abby’s admin took care of it pretty fast but I was so SURPRISED. I saw it while we were in the car and my husband was driving to dinner and I literally gasped. Anyway, love this post–love you–Grace loves Abby.

As an aside, my husband says that I tell so many stories about Gracie’s great love of Abby that you guys are either going to just show up for dinner one night or take out a restraining order. =)

Excellent post

I always try to be as polite as possible, I call people Mr./Miss/ma’am etc until given their permission to call them by their first name. I hold doors open for either sex, small kids etc. because I am a special ed teacher it’s sort of a bad habit. I am male but I have been called that name many times some in faith discussions, a few times by police along with a bunch of other explicative etc. That was a bit ago. Back in the USENET days, every other word was some derogatory remark cuss word, especially in the Christian sections. I never minded it much but when I heard it referred to women it made me very angry because it carries so much baggage and wounds deeply. It is like using racial epitaphs especially the “n” word. The F word etc also carry that kind of wounding as well.

What I always got frustrated about even more in the evangelical corporation was the threats of physical harm, the intimidation, the attempts to get a person fired, kicked out of their home, make them go bankrupt, lose health insurance, lose their church, lose their family, abandoned when sick, taking money, lying, manipulating, protecting child abuse perpetrators and people who abuse their wives. These are a cottage industry in the Evangelical corp. If anyone has ever been through a church split you will see some of this if not all of it. Or you have been part of a power play to have a church or denomination take over by some true believer crowd who think God talks to them. I still remember people online praying for my death because we had a doctrinal disagreement, I joined right on in at the time even offering God a few choice ways he could take me out. I am very Glad God is merciful and forgave my arrogance and pride for not answering those prayers. I am often glad God does not give me what I want at a time but that is another post.

In the modern evangelical corp being police is seen as a character flaw, one should be a go-getter, an overcomer, a warrior for Jesus, not politically correct etc. I never understood that myself. I am deeply sorry to any women whom have been blasted or demeaned it is not right, ever.

Words used with the intent of insulting others reveal a hierarchy of dominance and submission defined along lines of gender. Calling someone a “c—” is not the same as calling someone a “dick.” Basically, “c—” implies submission and weakness, whereas a “dick” is someone who abuses their power, dominating over and against others. “Don’t be a dick” has an entirely different meaning from “Don’t be a c—.”

These two types of insults (along with other corresponding words) are not equally interchangeable — which is really the whole point: conformity to a sexual hierarchy — a conformity which is damaging to both males and females in different ways. In this way, it is comparable to “n—–” and “honky.” Not all insults are equal, and this is due to the underlying power structure that such epithets express. Calling someone a “dick” in such a context is not at all the same thing as calling someone a “c—.”

Where there are such hierarchies of power, there is always violence lurking not far under its surface.

For the love of God, will there be a man in this forum who stands up and acknowledges that these are heavily gendered insults, directed in a specifically biting way towards women? Reading the comments here breaks my heart both for the women who have dealt with this nonsense and for the men who want to jump up and shout “double standard” because someone called them a ‘dick”.

Guess what! There is a double standard! It’s that men get to engage very differently with the world than women do, and very rarely do we worry about a gendered insult or feel like this type of verbal sexualized violence is directed towards us. And really, when was the last time someone called me a “dick” as if my anatomy all of a sudden made what I’m saying irrelevant? IT HAS NEVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFE!

I’ve never been as ignorant or angry as this Sean guy from the post, but I’ve said my share of stupid things. But being a father of three incredible daughters has changed me a lot. Hopefully he will change too…

Cuneiform”, the most ancient form of writing, derives from “kunta” meaning “female genitalia” in Sumerian of ancient Iraq. It was also spelled “quna,” which is the root of “queen.” Since priestesses were known to be accountants/administrators of Temple of Inanna in Sumeria c.3100 B.C. when Cuneiform was first used, it is highly likely that cuneiform was “the sign of the kunta” who kept the books (clay tablets) for the temple economy/redistribution of wealth that evolved from communal economics of ancient mother-cultures.

Calliing a woman a “cunt”, is actually calling her a “QUEEN who invented writing and numerals.”

I always say “Thank You what a compliment”.

I strongly encourage you to visit a Youtube site, Marriage Today, by Jimmy and Karen Evans. They are amazing and can help you and your husband truly understand what’s going on with your dynamics. If you can get your husband to watch just one, he won’t feel threatened and may even become humbled. Please, please try it.

So it’s cool to call someone a dick, a prick, a cock, a knob, a bellend, etc, but as soon as I call someone a cunt I’m an evil misogynist right? Genuinely curious because I’m a trans woman with a penis and I’m wondering why it’s cool for some women’s genitals to be revered above being used as an insult, but others’ aren’t.

If someone calls me a cunt it says way more about them than it does me. That’s how I have always viewed it for some reason. It means something has triggered their deepest insecurity and fear. Bingo.

I am new arrival and all I see is light, love, light, and wonderfulness!

Thanks Glennon. Thanks.

My husband called me a cunt a few times last weekend in front of our 5 year old son and 2 year old daughter. Then he said it wouldnt have haoppned if i hadn’t “poked the bear”. He hasn’t apologized and that’s ok. Because it has solidified my action to divorce him. I saw your super soul Sunday and it spoke to my soul. My soul that has been slowly dying for the past 7 years in this marraige. My soul is now coming first. Over this annual of a marraige. Ihave found strength in my wavering decision to stay or go. So thank you for your truth!

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Women are not a packaged deal. Women are their own individuals with their own thoughts personalities, and feelings and we don’t need to be protected from words. There are female seriek killers, Women who abuse their significant others and sons. If women are a packaged deal then im an abuser. Basically it was a stupid thing to say. If a man calls a women a cunt it doesn’t mean he’s calling me or any other woman a cunt. Also using the word cunt doesn’t make someone a misogynistic it’s just an insult used to call out mainly women who are being terrible or irritating just like dick is an insult used mainly against men. If I call a man a dick it doesn’t mean im a misandrist or reducing him to only a body part and that he has to lie back and get raped it just means i was calling him out on something terrible he did.

All I have to say about all of this is I LOVE SISTERS!!! ROCK ON GIRLS!

Messages of hate and rage are always shocking and upsetting.

These are some basics that my parents taught me and that I’m trying to pass on to my children. Not always sucessful in the living out of them part, but trying.

#1 No name calling
#2 No cursing
#3 When you have a grievane with someone, pull them aside, because that is what you would want if you did or said something terrible while angry
#4 Forgive ~ Do not let the sun go down on your anger

Sometimes people can be down right awful. There is no need for language like that towards anyone.

I actually don’t find that word to be as offensive or vulgar as the “F”-word which Glennon has used rather frequently. I suppose it’s a matter of taste or background, but perhaps if one profane word offends you then you should consider how all profane words (and I realize “profane” is open to interpretation) could offend others. Like the Golden Rule for Profanity 🙂 The “F”-word is beyond offensive even when used in an attempt to be funny. It’s never funny, always makes the person saying it seem cowardly, and it always ruins the attempted punch line. I love the message of using words that only lift us up. Also, sadly, telling someone you are going to pray for his daughter in a clearly snarky tone is taking yourself right down to the level where you think he is. “I’ll pray for you” has somehow become a new version of “F”-you, and I would love to see that stop. P.S. I’m off to a 5am Pilates class….now that’s profane to some 🙂 Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Oh my god, I had no idea that the word cunt was a magical word. You mean to tell me, that every time I call a women a cunt, I’m telepathically calling every women I’ve ever known or loved a cunt? This one word has so much power! What if I call a man a cunt, because he’s being a cunt? Does it only work on women? What if I just genuinely think someone is being a cunt? Do other genital based words carry this magical ability? Like, what about prick, or dick, or cock, or complex insults, like cock-hat, or cock-gurgling ham-slammer? What about other fem-specific words? Like flesh-lettuce, or ham-sleeve?

This seems to be a purely American thing. You see, using genitals or sex as an insult are older than time itself. When did everyone get so fucking concerned about what dangles between their legs? Whatever. Ironic-sexism seems to be the new, hip thing. Calling a man a prick, cock, sausage-masseuse, dick, pants-gerbil, is just perfectly fine, in fact, I’m sure in SOME circles, it’s encouraged, because yay, girl power! But the moment you call a women anything to do with her vagina, HOLD the FUCK ON YOU AGENT OF THE PATRIARCHY, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST DID? YOU’RE CALLING EVERY WOMEN A CUNT You filthy misogynist you. The very fact that you know this one, magical word, means you hate ALL women. No, just no. You know what I do when someone calls me a “scary word”? I either ignore them, because they’re clearly an idiot, not worth my time, or I turn around and tell them to eat shit. When you get this bent out of shape about a word, that’s how you give a word power over you. Personally, I love the word cunt, because in America, you can’t get legions of privileged white women to spit out their skinny late’s and cry “MISOGYNIST” and sing “We Will Overcome”, like you can with the word fucktard, or nitwhit or asslicker. See, that’s the thing, other curse words are so blase, because no one gives a fuck if you say fuck anymore, they’re not offended, hence that word means nothing anymore. It’s boring. At least, in America.

However, if I ever go to the UK, motherfucker is actually a much more offensive term, because apparently people over there don’t get as bent out of shape by whatever flesh configuration they carry with them in their pants, unless you’re using it on your own mom. If you really want people to stop using the word cunt, stop being so offended by it, because then the fun is gone. Oh, and before you accuse me of “mansplaining”, please, there’s real, English words out there that mean the exact same thing, but don’t carry the ironically sexist baggage of identity politics; “patronizing” and “condescending” are both perfectly fine words. You’ll look more intelligent using real, English words to express yourself, rather than using a made up word, that’s also defeating your purpose by being ironically sexist. Go ahead, call me a patronizing dick. How about a patronizing sausage-peddler? Feels good, doesn’t it?

Apologies if someone already said this and I missed it. As a woman, for me the C word is like the N word. It doesn’t matter how much I might logically understand that I shouldn’t let this word hurt me the truth is this word cuts to my soul. My soul. If someone doesn’t get that, I really cannot explain it. But I hope that if you cannot empathise you are at least willing to offer me enough respect not to use that word. I used to think that “words were just words” and that it was wrong to give them more power than their due. But I’ve changed my mind. That has been my consciousness-raising. I take back the power of love and respect and that we need to recognise the sacred in each other. Let’s change the world by beginning with the word. Let’s be gentle with our speech, including our self-talk and ongoing commentary in our heads.

I want to give you a GIANT hug. Thank you for your vulnerability, bravery, and unwavering commitment to decency and love. I just adore you.

Thank you millions, Glennon, for once again putting into actual, lovely, human words what my heart is feeling. And I’m so sorry you – anyone – is ever spoken to this way. Beyond that, what a beautiful lesson for all of us: There are not two of me. We may be more than the sum of our parts but if I treat ANYONE poorly then I am a person who treats people poorly. The best version of me – of all of us – is the one who lifts others up, respects others even – ESPECIALLY – when we disagree, and sees God in ALL His people, not just the ones who make it easy for us. Thank you for constantly reminding me that love wins!

I’m sorry that you are the target of hate, G. I hope that the love you receive from all of us Warriors helps to drown out the negativity and hatred. I love that sister fought back without sinking to Sean’s level!! So often, these interactions just escalate because people feel the need to stoop lower and shout louder than the guy next to them. Sister’s response shut him down without riling him up further, effectively extinguishing his rage. LOVE IT!!! Thanks once again for being a shining light!

Ladies, I blame you. Stop breeding with assholes like this clown and they will not be able to replicate their vileness.

After watching The Vagina Monologues, this word no longer has any power over me. I’ve taught at some rougher high schools. The last time a student threw this in my face, I laughed. I remembered the older woman chanting it on stage, gaining a thrill and some excitement from it. She reclaimed the word and it gave her power instead of taking it away. Words only have the power we give them. As Elenor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

With that being said, your words (and those of your amazing sister) were inspiring in the wake of such hate.

I was called the c word just this week. I was inching my way out in traffic and for 15 seconds or so blocked a man from moving forward. He yelled c as he drove past me. I immediately felt ugly, horrible and sick to my stomach. So many negative emotions. I thought “I’m someone’s daughter,” “I’m someone’s mom”, “I’m someone’s partner”. “I’m someone’s Noni” “But I am NOT someone’s c word!” Thank you for putting into words so much of what I was feeling. And thank you sister for standing up, speaking out and pointing out the irony to this new dad. This open dialogue will help bring much needed change to many. Blessings fellow warriors.

A person who posts such a comment is insecure and possibly intellectually shortchanged. He could have objected to something you wrote in an intelligent manner, but he resorted to name-calling instead.

I feel bad for his daughter and worse for his wife. I’d hate to live with a guy like that.

How about the fact the word c*unt is just a vile, despicable and hateful word? I am horrified that you get nasty posts on a regular basis for doing what you do. What we Warriors NEED you to do. Thank you, G. For keeping on even in the midst of hate. I am actually super shocked by a lot of the previous comments essentially defending this man’s use of this word. In my opinion using the word dick is not even close to the same thing, but then again, I am also a white waspy woman that complains (that also shocked me)…but I digress. G, thank you for warrioring on. See you in Charleston.

I don’t understand where all of this” “it goes both ways came into play”. Glennon was called a cunt by a misogynist on FB. Did she or any her sister call anyone a dick? Not that I have seen. This is not an article about how all men are misogynists, or a man bashing article. It is however saying how using the word Cunt feels to a woman. If you don’t want women to call you a dick and say how that feels, then write your own article! Don’t slam my friend Glennon for writing such an honest real feeling about how it feels to be called a cunt.

Oh Jesus….

You fuckin first world waspy middle-upper class white women….the most protected and privileged group of people on Earth, literally the standard of beauty and status the world over. And complain more than anyone else.

The amount of mansplaining going on in these comments.. damn!

Soldier on, Sisters.

Okay, I’m a man and that word C_NT is not one that is in my vernacular. But I have to wonder, is there a strong reaction to a woman calling a man a dick? I mean, it’s 2016 and everybody wants to be treated as equals, so shouldn’t women be rebuked for that word as well?

Of course I am horrified that you have to deal with this crap regularly. I want men to understand how truly hurtful this word is, but I also think men and women use the term. “He needs to grow some balls.” too often and I think this is just as cutting though not as hateful sounding. I remember being disgusted with writer/teacher/minister Marianne Williamson when she referred to the president as “Spineless” early in his term. No matter your politics, the word spineless is cutting if you hear it the way I do, which is to say with a visual attached…emasculating. Words and terms that are used to slice have no place on blogs like yours or in political commentary if you want to be taken seriously.

My EX-husband called me a cunt almost every day during the last years of our marriage. I decided to take away the power of the word and use the letters as an acronym that better described me:

Creative
Unique
Nurturing
Talented

I refused to be defined by him.

I feel this goes both ways. We also need to refrain from calling men “dicks” or “assholes” as it does exactly the same thing to them– an attempt to belittle them by saying the only thing they are worthy of is their lowest, basest functionality — we all must rise above the temptation to demean and demoralize. Society depends upon it.

Love the post. Sister ON!

Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised that this goes on, but I am. Every. Single. Time. Thank you for sharing this story that a) reminds us that this hatefulness is real, and b) that the respect and love to shut it down is real, too. Thank you for tolerating this awfulness so that we can all continue to benefit from your wisdom, because you are kinda awesome.

HI! Thrilled to respond to this! A book came out in the late 90s called CUNT (with a very pretty flower on the cover) written by an awesome lesbian who wanted to reclaim the word.
The book intro on Amazon:
“An ancient title of respect for women, the word “cunt” long ago veered off this noble path. Inge Muscio traces the road from honor to expletive, giving women the motivation and tolls to claim ‘cunt’ as a positive and powerful force in their lives.”

I bought this wonderful little book for all my girlfriends for Christmas that year. I kept it on my coffee table for a decade. I think you will love it.

To the leader goes the arrows. I can’t fathom the courage it takes to get back on the horse everyday after regularly taking blows from the worst of humanity. Thank you. I’ll add that I see this anonymous (or not, what an idiot. Good for Sister) seething hate directed toward anyone who dares to speak a strong opinion. Male, Female, religious, secular, Jewish, Christian… we have an angry, cowardly humanity problem.

Awww G sorry you have to deal with this stuff on a personal level.
I heard a song on a new CD titled ‘Songbird’ the other day, and immediately thought of you.’.
some of the lyrics paraphrased were “she’s so tiny and so small
how’s she find the strength

So brave to sit up in that tree
and sing all
day”
Just keep singing your some G.as there are many peoples’ lifting you up In Love ,my friend.
I’ll give ya the CD the next time I see you at a signing, or talk.
stan nassano

Interesting conversation. Language is a powerful thing. What I would like to offer to the discussion is this thought. We live in a culture where the strongest expression of contempt is to call a man or boy a “girl”. What does this really mean?Why is it so insulting? I think the “cunt” issue does expose that tiny bit of misagony that still lives in this country. Look at our history…how long it took women to get the vote, the right to birth control. This is recent history, folks.

This was amazing and left me with chills. If I was on Fb this summer it would’be gotten a share for sure!! Regardless thank you for writing so beautifully despite the subject matter and expressing yourself despite the hate. Peace to you sister!

I’ve read all the comments. High five to all the men who basically said, “Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You’ve given me something important to think about.” To the others who deflected the conversation, to change the focus to your experience or mansplain the word “cunt” to those of us with “little lady brains”, this article was written about you!

Not sure why the said mysoginist was called a ‘sir’? He is worthy of the title

Thank you Glennon. You have articulated everything that every woman is feeling in Naples, FL where a School Board candidate, Lee Dixon, called an ABC newswoman a “rascist cunt” in a Tweet. Yes, this man is running for our SCHOOL BOARD. Every woman who hears this story recoils in horror. Every man (who is not one of the candidate’s supporters) are horrified and agree that the word is the “lowest of lows” as one father said.

Thank you for articulating so clearly how and why that word is so degrading and violent.
No one who uses that word should be making decisions that affect our children. EVER.

If anyone is in Naples, FL, please be sure to vote for Erick Carter on Aug. 30th and check out his website to sign up to volunteer.

While in high school, I went to visit my boyfriend at work. He and his coworker came and talked to me. All of a sudden, his coworker said, I thought you said your girlfriend was a cunt? I was shocked. My bf didn’t say anything. I later realized he had major emotional issues and he would call me these things behind my back to justify cheating with other girls. He made me look like the crazy one by degrading me to not only his coworker but some of my friends. They believed whatever it was he told them. That is where what the author said is true. He didn’t have to call me a cunt to hurt me, but it shows how little he thought of someone he said he “loved”. From what I’ve seen, this is pretty common in our culture. Perhaps people who see this assume the guy will grow out of it. Unfortunately it may grow into violence toward women.

That was truly the best articulation of what is carried by the word “cunt” that I have ever seen., exposed in all of its violent covert aggressive glory.

As a slim, brown dude I’ve been called a lot of things. Beaner. Wetback. Spic. Kunta (As in Kinte; as in an African straight outta Africa.) Nigger, faggot, pussy. Et cetera ad nauseum. And none had the slightest impact on my sense of self-worth; none angered me nor saddened me. If anything I found each said far more about the person using it than it did about me.

The first time I was called “nigger” was in St. Louis by a girl leaning half-out of the passenger widow of some muscle car or other as it sped down the street where I was skateboarding, asking loudly over the roar of the engine, “Are you a nigger or what?”. It was such a surprise to me and was so clearly out of the ignorance of someone who had a strictly binary experience of race that I found myself laughing and almost giddily yelling back, “or what!” as the car turned the corner.

Similarly I was only bemused when I spent the better part of 7th and part of 8th grades in the rural PNW being referred to only as “Kunta” by another clearly confused and culturally isolated white person. I remember calmly explaining to him that, despite his best efforts, if he was trying to insult me it wasn’t going to work because it simply didn’t make any sense.

Later, in my sartorially, tonsorially and eyelinerlly adventurous young adulthood if I was told I “looked gay” or outright called a “faggot” I’d reply, “Thank you, I take that as a compliment.” without missing a beat. (And I meant it, FWIW.)

I’ve given little thought to the burden of indignation that may be my responsibility to “the Greater Good” or even to others less ready and able to absorb the impact of the barbs. And it’s possible I could have a massive blind spot or a thick callus I’m simply unaware of having developed. But it’s not that I don’t care when racists or homophobes attempt to dehumanize others through language I’m talking about recognizing that meaning isn’t always fixed and tragedy plus time sometimes equals “fuck it.”

Finally, as someone growing up with an English step-father (and the accompanying English extended family), “cunt” simply doesn’t carry the weight for me (or my sister, or mother) as it does for most. And if you think words meanings aren’t culturally mutable, try saying “fanny” in polite company in England.

I’m not suggesting the word in question isn’t offensive—anyone would be hard pressed to deny that the intent behind Sean’s usage was of the crudest sort—but I’m of the opinion that if you let it offend you the terrorists have won.

But then again, I like to swear.

F*dge it,
Chris

It is the only word I will not use on my blog.

Thank you for this post.

Yup. I was called a cunt by my ex while we were married (and after). He has a beautiful intelligent daughter that I raised virtually on my own after our divorce. Too bad he would never read an article like this.

I absolutely love this. I love that your response was articulate and to the point without mirroring the rage and hate this man felt the need to express. We should all remember to be a voice of education and empowerment with the goal of helping people “do better” for the women in their lives.

I definitely see the point you are trying to make, but I’m not sure I see the logic you’re using to get there.

To put it bluntly, not all women are the same. I take issue with the idea that I can’t dislike one woman without disliking them all. That I can use one horrible word to describe one horrible person and that somehow just because I use that word I’m now bound to think of all women in that same light. That’s not how rational people think about things.

Also, And I don’t know the reason why anyone would call you or anyone else a cunt, but I do think it’s pretty ignorant to just outright state with 100% certainty that the only reason that someone would call you a cunt is because you are simply speaking your mind. At the very least you have to acknowledge the words that come out when you speak your mind and the power that they have. I’m definitely not trying to put any blame on you because quite frankly, I’m not familiar enough with your writings to have an opinion one way or the other, but it’s entirely possible that a horrible person with horrible ideas can speak her horrible mind and say horrible things. Yes, that’s her right to do so, but that doesn’t mean that non-horrible people aren’t going to see those words and think she’s not a great person.

Now, I’m not saying that gives anyone the right to call her a cunt or any other name, but if they did, I wouldn’t automatically assume that the name-caller thinks the same thing about his own mother or sister or daughter. I think it’s possible that he might do everything in his power to raise a child that doesn’t have horrible thoughts or say horrible things. I personally try to avoid petty name calling with anyone I disagree with, but I can’t help but admit that I’ve seen some horrific people, both men and women, online in my day who I’ve thought, “wow, what a cunt”. But that’s on an individual basis. And you are 100% wrong when you say that if I call one woman a cunt, I’m also calling my sister or mother the same thing. That’s just not how it works. There are good people and bad people in this world, people I agree with and people I don’t, and you don’t get to tell me that I don’t like the good ones just because I dislike the bad ones. Sorry, but I don’t accept that.

Please share his name. People like this should not be allowed to hide in the shadows and make threats, veiled or not. They should not be allowed to verbally assault and intimidate our wives, sisters, daughters, and friends with impunity.

Like those who make actual sexual assaults, they need secrecy and anonymity to flourish and continue to spread their poison.

Society can not allow these thugs to continue to thrive. At the very least we must shine a bright light on them and drive them back under their rocks. And at best to ‘police’ them and force them to pay a very high price for their actions.

The first time I was called this word, I was 10-years-old. I must have stared at him blankly, because then he proceeded to clarify that this was the worst thing in the world he could call me and, therefore, I should be mortally wounded. Since I had no reference point, I continued to stare, not with fear, but with the thought that this was a very desperate, ignorant boy who was hurting so much in his own skin that he would do anything to make another human being feel his enormous pain. But the word meant absolutely nothing to me, and I was only slightly curious about ascertaining its meaning; in fact, it took me serveral years more to truly understand the definition. Even then, at 10, I knew that this word would never have energy or impact in my life, because only 10-year-old boys, with enormous insecurities and physical and emotional and psychic pain would ever use this word as a weapon. From that moment on, I knew the word was strictly for the use of other boys, and then men, to use when they were desperately hurting, and small, and afraid.. It is a small, desparate man’s word, used to destroy themselves. It does not apply to women, to us. I think we as women should understand this, that it’s an empty, impotent word, used by empty, impotent men.

I’d like to note that a cunt is a hell of a lot stronger, tougher and more resilient than a cock.

As a husband and father of two precious daughters I want to thank you for sharing this.

Glennon, I am always impressed and inspired by how you express yourself whether you are speaking to emotions you are feeling or how you respond to external triggers. I am stunned by the revelation that you deal with threats against you and your safety. How in the world do you maintain your beautiful outlook on life and not be afraid of potential harm or the hate of others?

Just sending you LOVE LOVE LOVE and feeling joy in your Sister and her perfect reply. Thank you for addressing hard things. You help ALL OF US grow.

Incredible response: articulate, empowering for women — and #LoveWIns

There is nothing worse to me then this word. I don’t think there is any power in using it more it would only be a trigger for women who have had it thrown at them like a knife. It was used by my brother to intimidate and abuse me. He is now a father to 2 beautiful warrior sisters. I’ve prayed that somehow becoming a father will heal whatever has been missing in him to cause such hate and fear of women. I’ve stopped contact with him years ago. We would like to believe that these men came from horrible homes and mothers that abused them but I can attest that at least in the case of my brother that is far from the truth. I doubt he is the only misogynist who came from a Mother warrior who did her best. I think your response is the most powerful of all, showing that no matter what intimidation and anger thrown your way you will power on in love.

Thank you so much. Reminds me of Audre Lorde’s writing on silence. She inspired me to speak to the man face to face who had sexually assaulted me.

“My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you. But for every real word spoken, for every attempt I had ever made to speak those truths for which I am still seeking, I had made contact with other women while we examined the words to fit a world in which we all believed, bridging our differences.”

I love this response! I love that you didn’t cringe from his hate spewed words, and so effectively threw the word cunt back out there, unashamed and bad ass brave! May we all be so brave and straightforward when confronted with hate and violence from anyone! Warrior on!

I believe this rage, this extreme sense of entitlement to “put you in your place” is essentially what is the root cause of all these mass murders. How do we fix our culture? Thank you for showing him the truth. What ugly words he generates for one is brewing poison for all. I know… we respond always in love. I just hope we can curb this soon enough. I have a daughter and granddaughter with another one on the way. I want to see them in a better world before I leave this one…

Thank you for articulating how the word cunt makes me feel. It’s been used way too much by my ex-husband towards me, mainly since I’ve stopped allowing him to control me. And it’s true, he’s trying to reduce me to my body, which is all he’s ever seen me as.

…. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you more! A big shout out to your sister too!

The internet brings out so much horrible behavior that I just can’t comprehend… I hope at least a few trolls read your post and take a long hard look in the mirror at who they are and who they want to be.

Thank you for being a warrior, for being real, and for holding up that mirror.

Yes! Oh I love you. And I love Sister. So much.

I’ve been called this word a few times. Usually it is when I’ve spoken my mind, or made a man feel like he isn’t as powerful as he wants to feel. It seems to me like a word of last resort…like “I can’t think of anything else, so I’ll go to this word and hope it shuts you up.” Kind of like a little kid shrieking instead of using words.

I don’t let it bother me anymore. I’ve often thought we should take it back — put the power back into it and take the hate and violence out.

Rock on, ladies!

Bravo and well said………….The “c” word ( i refuse to say it but glad you did) is the word I hate the most and you just clarified why I hate it so much. It’s so refreshing that there are women in the world like you, Glennon, that arent’ afraid to speak the truth!!

We need to take that word back.
It is my fucking cunt
I am pleased with and proud of my cunt
You want to offend me, frighten me, intimidate, or threaten me, cunt will not suffice any longer. I love my cunt. I love the power my cunt has.
I will no longer give that power to any individual who does not have the intimate relationship with my own fucking cunt that I have.

I love you. Thank you for saying this. Thank you for everything you say.

The “c-word” makes me cringe every time I hear it. The vulgarity it implies diminishes every good thing a woman is and does. Thank you for addressing this person and teaching him with class and grace. When you know better, you do better. Hopefully he’ll get it, for the sake of his wife and daughter. #lovewins

His behavior hurts my heart so much. This kind of through-a-screen vitriol is the absolute worst thing about our internet culture, in my opinion. Like today, when I see that the sit-in for gun safety means some legislators are finally taking a stand, the ridiculous level of hateful comments just…hearts my heart. Your response here is awesome, Glennon, as was Sister’s. The reality is that, when you fight fire with fire, you get…a bigger fire. Fighting fire with water is what gets the job done. Thanks for dousing his hatred with words of wisdom. Hopefully he’ll see the error of his ways. Carry on, Warrior. (And give Sister a big hug for me, if you don’t mind!)

I wonder what happened in his relationship with his mother way back when….something….

I was called a ‘cunt’ a week ago for the first time in my life. (I was also likened to an abusive alcoholic and deemed ‘unprogressive’ in the same email, but I digress…) There was something very disturbing to me about being called that word in particular by another woman, and a woman who insists she owns moral integrity that I do not. Anyway, thank you for your clear message about this word – it was foggy in my mind because I was still looking at it through injured eyes. An extremely intelligent friend suggested that the best way to deal with my swirling emotions around this subject was to attempt to hold space for other women who were called that word this day, other women who were dealing with a similar tough situation. So I hold some space for you today and accept your offering at the same time. Solidarity + Onward.

Once a linguistics teacher told me that cunt meant beautiful, ornate thing. I never reasearched the etymology but why would she lie. We could look into it. But you’re right, in the current vernacular, the word does imply violence. Such a shame.

This is so amazing for me to read today. I am a woman who uses her voice and I have been feeling upset the last couple of days because of some conflict regarding my blog (which is about gender equality in the Church). This really puts the comments I have received into perspective! Thank you for being so encouraging, Glennon. I really, really needed this.

Almost stood up clapping! Perfect response.

Whoa. People still do this kind of crap? Glennon, you are amazing. Don’t listen to the haters. Warrior on because the rest of us love you, adore you and NEED YOU.

It’s always bugged me that the worst word in the English language is cunt. It used to be Fuck…but then people started using fuck a lot more, and it lost a lot of its power. We need to do the same thing with cunt… Would it work if just as black people can call each other niggah, we should call our sisters cunt? Can we own that word and make it special to us and rob others of misusing it?

Love you~ This message~ And the sistering!! That is NOT even ALL <3

Love you, Glennon. Love this message. So glad you have thousands and thousands of people wishing you well and feeling grateful that we’ve found you in our lives. <3