I’m staring at this blank page and thinking: This is one of the most important things you’ll ever write. Be kind and brave, Glennon. Steady. Clear. Shameless. Gentle. True.
Pretend it’s just the two of us here in my kitchen. I’m making us chamomile tea. I pass a mug to you and ask you to sit down on the couch with me. You follow me into my family room and and we sit down and I look at you. I can see that you’re nervous because you’ve figured out I’m about to tell you something important. I quickly say: It’s okay. Everyone is healthy. All is well. We are all okay.
We are. And yet.
Craig and I are separating.
What happened? I am still looking for the words. While I am smack dab in the middle of the unfolding, here is my best explanation: As you’ll read in Love Warrior, Craig and I endured serious trauma a few years ago. We suffered. My God, we suffered. I was broken, just completely shattered. And then we healed. It was beautiful.
And this is what I learned: You can be shattered and then you can put yourself back together piece by piece.
But what can happen over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently. That you are whole, finally, and strong – but you are now a different shape, a different size. This sort of change — the change that occurs when you sit inside your own pain — it’s revolutionary. When you let yourself die, there is suddenly one day: new life. You are Different. New. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fit into your old life anymore. You are like a snake trying to fit into old, dead skin, or a butterfly trying to crawl back into the cocoon, or new wine trying to pour itself back into an old wineskin. This new you is equal parts undeniable and terrifying.
Because you just do not fit. And suddenly you know that. And you have become a woman who doesn’t ignore her knowing. Who doesn’t pretend she doesn’t know. Because pretending makes you sick. And because you never promised yourself an easy life, but you did promise yourself a true one. You did promise – back when you were putting yourself back together – that you’d never betray you again.
And so one day you sit down with your beloved, wonderful, kind, brave, warrior husband and you look at him and you say: Honey. We have worked so hard, for so long. We have been warriors for each other and for our children and for this marriage. And yet. I don’t fit here anymore.
And your husband looks at you and, eventually through his tears, he says: Four years ago you gave me the most selfless love I’ve ever received. It healed me. And now I’m going to return that kind of love to you. The kind of love that only wants truth and wholeness and peace for each other.
For the next several weeks, you do nothing but cry and talk. Sometimes it feels like that’s all you ever do—because, it turns out, you have been grieving your marriage for years. But still, you cry and talk more. You close the bedroom door and sit on that bed and you talk. You talk about how hard you’ve worked together, how you stayed on your mats and didn’t run from each other. Since you didn’t run, you discovered together that fight or flight aren’t the only options. There is a third way: heal.
You talk about how broken you each were when you met, and how whole each of you is now. You say to him: You’ve been my healing partner. He says: And you have been mine. You talk about how you can forgive someone and love someone and at the very same time know that you cannot be with them anymore. You get more honest than you have ever, ever been before. You talk about how hard, how very brutal it’s all been for the two of you. Since day one. And you talk about how beautiful it’s been for the two of you. Since day one. There is a moment in every conversation when one of you says: My God, the kids – and neither of you can go on. That’s the black hole. Still is. I can’t write more about that right now. Someday. Not today.
You sit in a therapist’s waiting room to discuss how to handle this with as much peace as possible for the kids.
You sit with your children and you create a new family mission statement:
Then you help your soon-to-be-ex-husband-forever-life-partner move into a rented house a few doors down. You have family dinners, plan your family summer vacation together, and you look at each other and realize you’ve never loved each other more, bigger, truer.
And then you tell your team. You tell the people who are invested in your career. And hot damn, this is bad timing. There is fear and panic. Because you are about to launch the biggest project of your career, the book you finished a year ago, and so many have been working so hard for its release. And it’s all about your marriage. And the advice from many is: Wait, G. Just wait till after the book has launched to reveal this. This is a MARRIAGE book – you can’t break up before it even comes out! Glennon – it will affect sales. It will affect your career, your success.
And you will listen to this advice. And you will decide: No.
Like Mama T said: I was not called to be successful. I was called to be faithful.
I was called to be faithful to truth and vulnerability and to YOU. I never promised anybody I’d get it all right; I promised I’d keep showing up forever. Today. Whether I’m in the valley or on the mountaintop.
Please come close when I say this next part, it’s important: This next step is not a departure from the path of the Love Warrior. This next step is the fulfillment of it – for me, for my particular journey. Love Warrior is a book about self-trust. It’s a book about a woman who has painstakingly learned that there is a still, small voice guiding her through this brutiful life one next right thing at a time. And that the only thing she cannot do – not ever again – is betray that voice. Self-betrayal is allowing the fear voices to drown out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading us home to ourselves and to truth and to love. Love is the boss of me, not fear, and certainly not “success.”
And by the way, success to me is not staying in a marriage — it’s staying in my own peace. At all costs. And so, even when it’s highly inconvenient – even when it feels CRAZY – I will listen to the voice, and I will obey it. And I will be messy and complicated – and I will show up anyway. Because I’ve fought too hard for my sobriety, sanity, integrity—and for your trust—to give it up now.
So I said to the team: We tell our people now.
And they said: Okay. Should we clear your schedule then? Revealing yourself in your writing about this is one thing, but do you want to be on stages with it? Won’t that feel too vulnerable?
And I thought about that for a while. Lord have mercy, cancelling the tour sounded good.
And I decided: No.
My family is here, now in two houses. But my family is also you.
I will not hide from you, not now. I will show up in your cities, in your churches and theaters and on stages and I will say: HERE I AM. A little busted up, but not destroyed. I will be at my weakest, but when we are weak, then we are strong. If I’m this weak, can you imagine how strong I’ll be? Damn.
Listen: Love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah. So I might be cold and I might be broken but I am still gonna scream HALLELUJAH all over this country. I am going to stand in front of you with my medicated little head held high and I am going to be so busted up and broken that the light is going to pour out of me like stained glass. I know this.
Here’s what else I know: Some loves are perennials—they survive the winter and bloom again. Other loves are annuals—beautiful and lush and full for a season and then back to the earth to die and create richer soil for new life to grow. The eventual result of both types of plants is New Life.
New life. Nothing wasted. No failure. Love never fails. Never, never. Love is messy and beautiful and brutal – and Love is the whole point. So, I am not afraid, I was born to do this.
I’m asking you, please love me through this. Be my people. The world will have opinions and I need this Love Warrior Army. Please stay close.
Sister On, my beloveds. We can do hard things. We belong to each other. And LOVE WINS.
G
P.S. Since I publicly announced the trauma in my marriage four years ago, I have become a soft place to land for women in marriage trauma. I have listened to what kind of responses from people are helpful and which are hurtful. So many of us want to say and do the loving and supportive thing, but we sometimes don’t know what that looks like. So, with humility, love (and a healthy dose of defensiveness on behalf of my heart and the hearts of my warrior sisters), I offer the following thoughts:
If I don’t mention something, it’s not because I forgot to. It’s because I desperately have to find the balance here between honesty and a tell-all. Between transparency and responsibility. What I owe you and what I owe myself. There will be parts of this story I (try to) keep for myself and Craig and the kids. If you can, please resist assumptions, gossip, or asking for details I haven’t provided. I can tell you this: I feel defensive of Craig here. No one could have worked harder. There is no better father or man on earth. Craig is a hero. He is a Love Warrior. I am fiercely proud of him.
Try to avoid lamenting how sad it is that people “throw away their marriages these days.” Try not to generalize. I have met hundreds of divorced women who didn’t throw their marriages away. Most of us fight like hell for our marriages until we realize that we can either save our marriages or save our souls. So please, I’m not looking for advice. Just love and support.
Please don’t pretend to know what God thinks of us. Please think deeply about the chasm-wide difference between leaving a man and leaving God. Please remember that when a woman leaves, she just brings God with her. Nothing separates a woman or a family from God’s love. Not death, and certainly not divorce. Jesus taught us that sometimes death is necessary for there to be new life. And that God loves us far more than any institution God made for us. When someone suggests otherwise, it brings shame to us. But we won’t let that in. We are women who have become far too wise to believe in shame.
Sometimes, when people make decisions about marriage, it evokes strong feelings in others. If my news does that to you today, please look inside and get curious about whether those feelings have more to do with you and your life than they do about me and mine.
I will repeat this last one: Please stay close. I need you more than I’ve ever needed you.
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
Join Glennon on Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram
1,791 Comments
So appreciate your forthright strength and honesty – you are exemplary in your growth and support of all. Blessings to you, your family, and all who face similar struggles.
I couldn’t admire you more than in this moment! You are a courageous love warrior! I for one will sister behind you. Wrapping you and your family in love and healing thoughts. I’m with you sister and can’t wait to see you in Portland!
Glennon, I am overwhelmed and amazed at your honesty and bravery! Please don’t let the very tiny few negative comments and judgements affect your light. No one knows, but your family, nor ever needs to know the personal details. I have a very similar story of a 36 year marriage with my first and only love of my life and he was a pastor. Healing did come after our years long multiple traumas. We worked through it and stayed together 6 more years. You described it perfectly when you said you weren’t the same person after being put back together. Neither my husband nor myself could go back to the people we once were. I am looking forward to reading your book! Remember, The Bible is full of stories of how God uses the broken. Bless you dear, and bless your family!
Dear Beautiful Glennon.
When I read about your book coming out, i pre-ordered it and wished I could read it right then, a few months ago, because i was living what it sounded like your book was about, and I thought – maybe she will have some answers for me … maybe I can find my way through this too, and maybe my marriage will survive – against all the odds.
And then it didn’t. It all came crashing down around me in spite of all my best (and worst!) attempts at making him stay.
And I was thinking – that book – I’ll read it now and feel like a failure, like i couldn’t do it, when you could … and so many others too.
He moved out yesterday.
And it is as if i can breathe again. I had not realized how long it has been since I breathed. Like. This.
And then your post today and oh, my heart is carrying the weight of your decision and I don’t pretend to know the sadness or the sorrow or the depths and breadths of what you have been through or how you must have grappled …. but I just wanted to say thank you for your bravery always. Thank you for opening yourself up, for sharing, for your beautiful beautiful soul.
I can’t wait to read your book, the ending is not what matters – how or why or the forevers or the nots. What matters is how gracefully we live this journey we are on. How much God lights us up from inside. The Truth we seek and aim to live by. How we touch the lives of those around us. How we do our best, and that is all that counts.
Glennon – I wish you all the very most of light and love and grace and friendship and loving support and encouragement and strength and wisdom as you write the next chapter of your life.
You are an inspiration and you are human and you were made just Beautiful.
Thank you.
I so wish I could sit down with you and have a cup a tea. I was drawn to your first book and felt like we were best friends, I laughed and cried.. Like im sure so many others did. When I got to the part about your husbands affair I felt even closer to you. I stayed with my husband after his affair. We went to counseling and actually became part of a marriage ministry. We shared our story of redemption in front of large groups of people and went on to have 2 beautiful children. Even though we acted as though we were healed, we were far from it and divorced when our youngest was only 3. I’ve heard it all from our Christian community and it only made things more diffucult. You are brave, you are strong and I know this decision was not made lightly. I am in this brutiful life with you sister. Sending you hugs and love xxxooo
Btw, I preordered your book and can’t wait to read it
Sending you tons of love. Thank you for your generosity, authenticity and courage, your book, as your life, will be a success!
Sending you lots of love. Your bravery and honesty is truly inspiring. Earlier this year I asked my husband of 10 years for a divorce after a 5 year struggle of trying to heal and rebuild our marriage. And while we succeeded I know what it feels like to realize you’ve put yourself back together and through that process there is something there that wasn’t there before. That you’re different. You are stronger thank you know. Sending you lots of love. Bless you.
Why did you write a whole book on marriage and then decide to divorce? Makes me wonder what you think you know about marriage. Is the book just based on your idealized fantasy of marriage? Do you think you’re going to find that now? Do you now believe your own book so much that you’re going to throw away your marriage for your ideal? You aren’t that young either…don’t you think about how you might end up in your old age. Fame is fleeting.
If your child cut their hand would you slap it and send them on their way, or would you kiss it and tell them everything is going to be ok? Wounds heal with love. Let’s not project our own fears onto her. The fact that she is willing to stand in her truth makes me want to read her book even more.
David James – You are amazing. Spot on. I am taking those words forward with me. Bless you.
Sophia: Really? Didn’t she request that we not question her? “you aren’t that young, either…”???? What is wrong with you??? And what does it mean when you say “don’t you think about how you might end up in your old age””???? Ugh.
WoW! You missed the point of everything she just wrote. Read it again, and again, and again until you get it….especially the P.S part. How is that you feel so justified to heap coals of shame on someone else?
So I guess the idea of kindness and the request that we be understanding and supportive went right. Over. Your. Head.
What a pity.
Troll
A persons can write a book and be truthful in what is written but one or two books can never tell a persons whole history! I can understand why you may feel the way you do although I don’t agree. Please remember we are all humans and no one is perfect and this book can and will still speak to people, minister to people and change people in spite of Glennon and Craig’s current struggles. Please be kind to one another and be kind to yourself so we can show others in this world true kindness and acceptance in spite of their circumstances. Sophia you are a woman I believe that we should not shun because you have a different opinion but have hope that you can use your feelings to shine a positive light into the world when you see someone being wronged. You can stand up and speak when you feel you can make a difference. See how you can make a difference today and everyday ahead. Love your warrior sister!
Thank you, Lindsay!
you are all loved so much and even more We the people out here can not judge or criticize in any shape. You are all in my prayers and my heart. Remember God is already in the future and is waiting for you to walk in trust. We are not to fear only walk in love. Be safe be good to you and your family.
In peace, Julie
Sending love, support and admiration. You are amazing and make life better for so so many. Carry On.
As another reader said… holding you close and thank you for trusting us. So much love to you all
I am here, quietly supporting you. Sending love and light. <3
Dearest Glennon, Other than the loss of one of my children, the hardest, most terrifically painful experience I have ever had was the end of my marriage. It was a crappy marriage – but it was mine. I just want you to know you aren’t ever alone and are held deeply by myself and all of your warriors. Hang in there – you can do this.
How is it that when we warriors are hurting, we still think about helping others? That’s just what we do because we know…love wins. Thank you G. We love and support you AND yours. <3
Glennon, I truly cannot imagine the agony of this decision. I know it was excruciating. I cry with you but I also feel an excitement for this next season of your life because the word of God is clear – we get beauty for ashes and joy for mourning. Love and hugs xo
Strumming my pain with (her) fingers.
Singing my life with (her) words.
Killing me softly with (her) song,
Telling my whole life
With (her) words
Killing me softly, with (her) song.
I think you have peered into my soul and captured my last 3.5 years. My life has paralleled yours and I never knew.
My sister tells me frequently–what you’re going through is a journey. It’s not a destination.
You are not alone. And be prepared…the roller coaster will get really, REALLY bumpy ahead. Sometimes you will wish you could hate Craig. And then sob like crazy when the feeling leaves and you realize you still love him. Keep God close… He is the only thing that kept me breathing this past year…be strong and courageous!
I hope your motto is like mine, Never Read The Comments. But if not, I’ll say I initially had a strong reaction to this. And then I read the end again where you said maybe that’s coming from somewhere in me and not having to do with you at all. And yes, indeed. You are right.
So, I will only have this to say, Glennon. You are loved. And, Same. And in spite of all my own mess, I am loved too. Glory.
What a brave and honest approach you’ve chosen.
When my marriage ended, one of the kindest responses came from another mom I knew at my boys’ school. She gave me a huge hug and whispered “That’s all I’m going to say, honey.” A similarly big hug to you.
Thank you for entrusting all of us with yourself and with your family’s vulnerability. Again you are an inspiration and mentor in how you lead your life and the way you choose to move through it. I don’t think a family could have moved on to this next stage of family life in a more positive and productive way. I believe sometimes love changes, it’s still there, it’s still love, it simply has a different shape (I wish I had the eloquence with words that you do!) . This only makes me want to purchase your book more not less. X
This is one of the bravest things I’ve ever read. My heart hurts you, Craig and your kids. Much, much love and prayers for your future, no matter what that looks like.
To Glennon and all the love warriors reading these comments,
I don’t have all the right words to say, so instead I’ll just tell you this:
I am typing this while lying on top of my made bed while I listen to the sound of the hairdryer in the other room. It’s my ex husband brushing my firstborns hair. My 11 year old has her very first day of middle school tomorrow and he wants her hair to look pretty. My husband is in the other room with the ten year old watching television. We have battled egos, hurt feelings, pride, and sometimes jealousy to arrive at this place of peace, and boy is it beautiful. Don’t ever stop striving for it. My kids are so happy. And they tell me. Mom, we’re so glad you and dad are friends. It’s worth the struggle and the commitment.
I’m going to keep being a warrior for love. I hold you tight, G.
Malach 2:16
We are commanded to die to self and be selfless not selfish.
What a shame you decided to sell out and put yourself ahead of God, your kids and your husband and marriage.
I get that after a trauma you are a dfferent person.
Makes sense.
So what is the course of action?
The mature Christian starts from scratch and seeks to rebuild their marriage from the ground up.
Your choice was to serve your own needs.
Newsflash — we were not created to serve ourselves. We are here to serve God and others.
We are hear to be SERVANTS.
Your husband is clearly a servant.
You? Not so much. You see yourself as a queen to be served.
My wife and I have been through trauma. We serve each other. We take our vows seriously. A cord of three strands s not easily broken. God is and always will be our third strand.
What a shame you are leading your followers astray.
Jesus was clear about how husbands and wives are to serve each other.
Your husband held up your end.
You chose your career and your fame and your “personal peace”
What shame.
I hope you start listenng to Jesus soon and change your ways and save your marriage.
Right now you are abusng and humliating your husband and being the worst possible example to your kids.
Proverbs 31.
Judge not lest you be judged….
Amazing this comes from you. I agree with her… Look within before you judge. You do not have the right to judge.
You. Sir, are why Glennon’s choice was a brave one. Don’t talk about God then choose to take judgement in your own hands. And please, do NOT ever presume to tell us what we need. If you disagree with her choices, move on. But don’t throw stones. We all know how that one ends, yes?
Mean spirited response . . . sadly lacking in empathy.
Using your beliefs to shame someone else isn’t very Christian.
You know nothing, John Snow.
To Bill: GOD and Jesus are synonymous with LOVE. JESUS never judged. He loved. ‘Please forgive them for they know not what they do.’ Curious how is it your right to judge her, pretending to be “Christ-like” in your own regard. Perhaps you should circle back to fundamentals on what it means to ‘walk in the image of God.’ Don’t judge.
Let’s leave judgement for God, shall we? Unless, of course, you are free of sin.
It’s clear that you cannot differentiate between a woman thinking FOR herself and a woman thinking OF herself. As mentioned above, yours is a reaction that reveals your discomfort within your own life.
Well said Mavis.
Bill, your comments are really about you.
I wish you the best with your own struggles.
So much love for you Glennon.
Sending you love and support. You are amazing for knowing what you need/want and acting on it. Self care is the key to self compassion which is the key to unlocking the compassion to the all beings in the universe. Thanks for making the world a better place. You are doing it.
you are amazing!! In your storm you still help those who need to hear that it is ok!! Much love and support for you and your family during this storm!! ❤️❤️
Love you G. Carry on.
Wow. I subscribed to your posts after pre-ordering the book so this is my first post to read. It’s a biggie. I know I need to postpone reading your book for now. I need to cancel my order. Not because I am feeling mean or vindictive or judgmental but because I know I am not in a place right now to hold someone else’s pain. I am fragile enough all on my own. So I just wanted to write because I didn’t want my cancellation to be misinterpreted. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Nadine,
I am reading an advanced copy right now and I think you will find it empowering.
There is so much in the book that applies to life in general. How to find your true voice and speak your truest feelings and needs. I think the book could help you see the truest friend you have in yourself.
Those are my thoughts at least.
I am sorry for the pain you are already feeling.
Sending you support through the computer.
Nadine, you are brave and strong enough to know what you need right now. Good for you.
(If it were me I’d just leave it unopened until I was ready. But you know what you need to do for you.)
I often claim you, Glennon, as my favorite. I was blessed when I first read your take on enjoying every moment and surprised/inspired when you didn’t show shame over your struggles. I grew to love you and walk in honesty and grace because you helped me see how. I was sad and proud the day you admitted your marriage fell apart. I was happy and proud when you said it was healing. I’m proudest now, when you and Craig are doing things we didn’t know people could and letting us watch. I love you both these days and I wish all beauty and goodness and thriving and aliveness for you both and your sweet children always.
Glennon- I love you fiercely and thank you for entrusting our warrior hearts with your heart. There’s nothing you could say about this that would change my level of respect and admiration for you and your work. Life is just …. Life. Stuff changes. A book is a narrative snapshot of one era of life, not a promise of what will be. We get that. Be true to you and you will be true to us.
Amy (the crazy therapist lady who apologized for a dumb Instagram thing at an Indianapolis event this spring., like a total spaz. Like you would even remember that. )
amazing. Such a beautiful post. I am in the same place in my marriage. It was devastating to make the choice to follow what I knew was true about our changing relationship- and to face the consequences for the kids- ugh. My husband is about to move out, to as close an apartment as we could find. We may buy two small neighboring houses in the future, but we are trying this on for size. I love him, we love our kids, and we still need to separate. Learning to listen to my inner voice (which was there all along, by the way, duh) has been the lesson of my adult life. My first tattoo ever, this year, is the Sankrit word for Truth, to remind me to keep it honest. Best of luck to you and your family in your journey.
First of all, as always, your honesty and openness and realness with all of us right from where you are RIGHT NOW is so beautiful and true and refreshing. THANK YOU for always showing up where you are, how you are, and not waiting for a prettier or easier or more put-together moment. And second, I’m with you.. At a place of seriously questioning my marriage. In the last month or so I have been soaking up your posts, quotes, poetry, inspirations on Instagram and your blog …you have been speaking straight to my soul and my struggle n the last month or so, and now I think I know why, now that I know more about the place those words have been coming from. Hugs. And remember your “poster”. Does the Love Warrior stay? YES. Does the Love Warrior go? YES.
Thank you for being open and sharing this. So much of what we see and hear does not help us get through life. You are an example that I am happy to hear about!
You are so brave and true,
Thank you for everything you do,
You have shown an example so shining and bright,
I wish you nothing but peace and light.
Warrior on Glennon, I am beside you – we all are ❤️
I really really admire you candidness about all things. It is such a rarity to find someone willing to share the vulnerable that doesn’t equal Pinterest perfect. I think this honesty and messiness resonates with people. It brings them together. It allows people to feel… more normal in their own messiness. Thank your for you testimony. Thank you for demonstrating strength. For… Just being you. For teaching me how to love better. I am working on it too
I love you. We love you. You are not alone. I am going to be there in the audience in Portland, OR cheering you on. You and Craig are both amazing.
Glennon, every marriage is different, and every divorce is different. I hope this is the hardest part of this process and journey for you. Once you come out the other side, and you will, I hope you feel whole again sooner rather than later.
I love you. And I thank you. And I think you are brave and beautiful and fierce and gentle. Love wins. That is all.
Glennon- I have followed your work for some time. It continually lifts me up and inspires me in the midst of single parenting, in the midst of heartbreak, in the midst of family health issues, deaths in our community, running my own business, etc. I know how much courage it would take to announce this and particularly to do so now before your book coming out. We see you. We see how much you decided you could no longer fit. Some of us have been there, too. Some of us are still there even though we don’t want to be. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for your inspiration. Thank you for your bravery. So many are loving you and yours so hard right now. You’ve got this. <3<3<3
You are amazing. Wil be praying for tou all. Thank you for your honesty. I am always in awe of yoyr rawness and its beauty.
G,
There are no words… My heart aches for you and your family. So much beauty and grace in how you live your life wide open and raw. Love endures all things… even divorce. Love will continue to wrap its arms around you and Craig and the kids. Thank you for being you. You are my hero!
Sending so much love to you. I admire and am inspired by you. This line struck me: “Self-betrayal is allowing the fear voices to drown out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading us home to ourselves and to truth and to love. ”
I want very badly to be true to myself. Thank you for giving me an example to follow.
There are a lot of half sentences running through my head. I want to tell you how much I love you. I want to tell you how meaningful this post is to me and how it is the first one I have ever read from this site and from you. I want to tell you that even though I am never married, not even dating anyone right now – this post made me cry because I can see myself in it. I copied your words into my journal so I could remind myself to stand tall and shine bright, even if I’m shining through stained glass. Especially then. Because your light is so bright it warms me and lights my path which has been getting dimmer and dimmer these days. “Because [I] just do not fit. And suddenly [I] know that.” I am sending you love and no inappropriate, yet well-intentioned words. 🙂 And if you’re coming through Philly, look for me in the front row.
She is coming to Perkasie. Close to Philly.
Thank you so much for sharing this. We are struggling to reach real honesty and truth in our marriage, and I don’t know yet where this will take us. Reading your words was exactly what I needed. I’m so grateful to you for putting your experience into the world, for owning truth, for me to find. Holding you and Craig and your kids in my heart as you adjust to this new way.
I am now in a quiet place where I could read what you had too tell us Glennon, and I am so proud of you! There is no judgement here. My reaction to your news speaks volumes about the loss of my own marriage, not yours. If only I cold have lost mine in the way you have found yours. Go in peace Glennon, you deserve it. You have managed to keep the best parts of your marriage while moving forward to find your next, true life which I am sure is out there just waiting for you! My ticket for the tour at BAM appeared in the mail, along with your news on Facebook. I will be even more honored to watch you walk out on that stage in October in Brooklyn. Warrior on my cousin, indeed!
K
Staying close and holding you in love, Glennon! Thank you for being brave by staying true to that inner voice! *hug*
I.believe.you.
Duuuude – this was good. Like spoonful of peanutbutter and nutella good. Your dedication to remain true to yourself is inspiring (cause it’s a fucking hard thing to do). No matter what response you receive in all of this, you’ll always be able to look back at yourself during this time and see a woman of courage and the determination to fight for herself. The world needs warriors. Thanks for being vulnerable and courageous in this post!
Sending you and your family lots of love.
Love you and your honesty. I found the hardest part of divorce was the pain of watching my child adjust to the changes. The best part of divorce was coming together as parents for the first time ever. Sometimes you have to be independent of one another to each be your best self. Each new season brings new challenges and victories. Many years later, our three kids are raised by the “village” of bio and step parents. Guess what? It works amazingly well. Every decision is discussed and compromised between the adults before it’s made for the kids. Our kids never hear one parent say anything bad about the other. If I can’t show my children what a so-called “perfect” marriage looks like then I consider it a success to show them how to be a kind and caring adult who rolls with the punches in life. Much love and prayers to you, Craig and your kiddos.
Please let yourself grieve and cry and stay friends. I have been divorced over 30 years and my ex and I decided to stay friends so not to hurt the innocent ones in this ….our children. And then we realized we liked being friends. My husband of 27 years now plays golf with my ex twice a week and we have dinner at each other’s homes. Love wins. It just changes how it looks a little.
While I am sorry to hear that your marriage is broken, I am rejoicing that your love for each other is not. How blessed you are, and your family, to be able to reach a point that so many never reach, a point where you genuinely care for the other person and their well-being. You are brave and strong and an inspiration. Thank you for showing that a family can be many things, as long as there is love, and for defending Glenn, God bless you all.
Holding you close. Thank you for trusting us.
Sending love and peace and prayers to you and your family. Your willingness to be honest and real is always inspiring.
It is obvious you have not come to this decision lightly, and in your heart you know you are doing the right thing for you and for your family. You have my love and support and prayers. XOXO
Love and peace to you and your family as you move through this change.. Thank you for your truth and honesty.
xoxo
You are so brave. As my former brother-in-law said to me one time when I was grieving the demise of his marriage “Divorce is not a failure. It is the end of one relationship and the beginning of another relationship. With the same person.” I still love that guy. I still love you too, and will show up in Los Angeles and celebrate being WITH you.
You are so brave! I walked a similar path a few years ago and I know how much it can hurt. I found you then, right after everything fell apart and you were like a lifeboat. I din’t know how to go on, I couldn’t remember how to breath. And then, like magic, you were there. Telling me to just show up. Tell me that it can hurt and it can suck but that happens sometimes. You also let me know I was not alone. It wasn’t just me. So now, when you are busy trying to navigate this new life you have, please know, you are not alone. We are here to shower you in love and support. We are your village. And remember, you can do hard things. I know because you taught me that.
Sending love, prayers and support!
Oh Glennon, how you have written about the news and the staying and now the going touches me so deeply. I had my own news and staying and going and I feel all the feelings you write right along with you. You are so right, we grow to be different people when we put the pieces back together. The kid part is so hard; in regards to them, it feels selfish to be true to myself, but I know it’s the right thing. A strong, healthy, happy mama is good for them. God bless you and your family. You can do hard things, Proud of you.
To my Hero Glennon, Please know that I will stand beside you, my fellow warrior, mother and human being. I am sending you thoughts and prayers for strength and courage during this time in your life. You are loved.
Please know that this beautiful sharing has made me More interested in reading your book.
you are a light❤️❤️
I’m new to your website. This is the first post I’ve read of yours and I am completely in love with your vulnerability and courage. We need more Love warriors like you !! Thank you so much for your contribution to the light in this world.
Many blessings to you and your family.
You are a warrior.
Thank you for speaking of what you need. That is one of the hardest things to do.And thank you for not cancelling the tour, I already have tickets 😉
Just saving space for you. Much love (and a hug waiting for you when you get to Denver)
I know how strong you will be, because you will carry the strength of us, with you. I know your story, as I have lived it. I will forever be faithful to your work. Warrior on!
I resonate. Thank you for your courage to share. I’m walking a similar path – although not quite as publicly! All love.
Your honestly is so refreshing in this commercialised world. Thank you for being so open and so true. Thank you for being brave enough to say sometimes we cannot work through it together but we can love each other deeply apart. Sending you so much love and strength and know that as you have lifted me I’m hear lifting you. PS
Fucking love how you show up. Thank you.
Sending my prayers and so much love to you and your family. Thank you for your honesty.
Glennon, I started following you sometime last year after I found out about some of my own trauma in my marriage. I have so appreciated your openness, your willingness to share such personal parts of your life, and your candor about hard times and beautiful moments. I felt encouraged that hard times could come and you could make lemonade. Over time though, it became clear it wasn’t a place I could stay for many reasons. So, I recently filed for divorce after so much heart wrenching work, pain, tears, and like you said…the kids. How to do this with the kids. Yet, I feel so at peace. Full of hope for new beginnings. Grateful for growth through such horrific pain that I would never wish on anyone. Although my story is not one that I see including family vacations (!), the fact that you are able to approach this peaceably is inspiring when separating feels so full of harsh anger, and protecting of egos and assets. I will take a piece of this and be encouraged to walk through this with as much peace as possible, as much kindness, and bravery to honor my heart, my safety, sanity, and my future. Thank you for sharing. Sending so much love, strength, to you, to your family, your kids. I pray and hope for them what I hope for mine. That they will see this as the positive it is, though it will be hard. That it will be part of their story that helps them make healthy choices when it seems too hard to do. That they will see their momma opening her heart and living from that place and that will make it easier for them to do the same. And that the love in their life will grow from this. So so brave.
Dear Glennon, thank you so much for sharing this. My husband and I are very likely to be separating. We love each other but our marriage has never been good for neither of us. It is so hard to let each other go. I have cried my eyes out thinking of all the beautiful moments we have shared together. I pray for our separation and further divorce to be amicable and peaceful. And your post gives me hope that it can be done this way.
I love you, G. I just love you and I think you are brave and strong and amazing. Walk your path and we will walk it with you and if you stumble, we will be there to help you up and if you get tired we will be there to carry you for a while. No judgement, no questions, just love, love, love.
Amen!
It’s funny but something in your posts in the last few months gave me an inkling that maybe something had changed in your marriage. I feel a little sad. I think that it ‘s almost always is a little sad when a marriage ends–especially those with twopeople who gave it their all. But in the end I guess that provides comfort too–knowing you learned, and grew and tried. There is no shame in being true to yourself and following that small voice that knows the path you should take. Love to, and prayers for, you and your family as you navigate these new waters. ox
Thank you dear Lord for women like Glennon. Praying for you and your family dear sister in Christ (and in my phone’s Facebook world). I would sooo sit down on your couch with you!
You and I do not share many of the same values, but the beauty of honesty and respect is that …. we don’t have to. I have been reading your writing for years now, and more than anyone else I read, what always touches me is the integrity, honesty, respect, sincerity, willingness to discover, courage and deep caring. Follow your truth, allow others theirs, keep loving and caring and giving — we cannot do that for others if we do not also do it for ourselves too. Wishing you easy breathing.
Much ❤️ and prayers for you and your sweet family! May God’s peace be your ever present companion and comfort as you navigate this time.
Glennon, your honesty and truth is what we love. Your incredible talent and courage to put out there what many of us think but may be afraid to say inspires us all! I love you and of course support you in this new journey in your life. Sending youprayers and love!!
Many of us are here for you – you will need us more than ever now and know that u r doing what’s right for you,your soul! Keep staying strongly positive in support of your children’s dad – always and know that no one needs to know details including your kids. They will manage through pain and hurt and it will be difficult but that is growth – you know that. And finally thank you for what you said about not leaving God-I know it but seeing it in writing brought it home. I’ve been there warrior and I’m good, stronger, more passionate more me and my kids all 3 are good as well. God Bless You
All shall be well. All manner of things shall be well.
I think this may be the most beautiful things I have ever read. This kind of love for each other is a kind of love many don’t understand–that I love YOU more than I need US. I get this. I’ve lived it. It is amazing and shows our children there is more than one way to love.
You are both #lovewarriors. Thank you for your honesty and so much love from my family to your entire family!
I am so sorry to hear this. Carry on warrior. Relationship in divorce is just as important as in marriage. Something I am confident you will do well. Saying a prayer for peace for your family. I look forward to reading your book. I admire your strength and commitment to the truth in all things. God speed.
Sending love your way
I’m still here. still looking forward to reading your book and seeing you in Portland next month. I’m in my own marriage trauma right now and working on my own healing. I’m so very proud of your honesty, sister. No shame. Who would write books if you had to wait until the end of your story to share your truth? dead people don’t write books. We tell the truth as it happens and we keep learning and growing. Love you.
As a product of divorce, the best thing my parents did was to not fight or bad-mouth each other in front of me. It wasn’t until I was much older that I even knew what the cause was. Your commitment to remain respectful when problem-solving is the best way to keep the love in your family. As you have always said, we can do hard things. And so you will. Xo
I am walking this now and there is nothing harder. 23 years of marriage and I never thought I ‘d stop fighting until I realized I was not the person I wanted to be and our family was literally pretending to be happy because when the doors closed ,the real truth existed. I am so afraid ,yet know how necessary it is. I literally felt like I was just slipping away and wanted to die. I too agonize over our children and pray the Lord will protect their hearts and strengthen them as He draws them close. Grieving over what I thought our life would be ,yet knowing God is in control. Many prayers for you and your family as your find your new normal.
My honest self is sad. I was at the mall with my daughters and checked Facebook. I read up to the line where you said separated and I felt my heart sink. I want to Warrior On with you but I think I need to mourn first. Your transparency is truly brave, I hope you are surrounding yourself with soft and gentle l love.
Living your truth and speaking your truth to the whole freaking world wide web takes serious guts. Thank you for sharing so freely of yourself. Life and love are so hard. Prayers going up from California.
So many mothers and fathers embark on this kind of journey of truth…and the challenge is following thru with a heart that is still open and mind that is still kind. I believe that tRuth, courage and love are the corner stones to loving relationships that persevere thru this kind of evolution. Mostly, I’ve learned, that that very relationship becomes more sacred and holy – despite the change in physical and legal forms that they take. Time heals all wounds . Love runs deep where there is truth. And kids understand truth and love. Strength and peace to you all.
Glennon,
Thank you for being honest, vulnerable, and brave. We need more people like this in the world. I read an advanced copy of the book a few weeks back and LOVED it, and today’s post does not change that in the slightest. If anything, I love it more. 🙂 Wishing peace and love to you and your family during this time.
Meg
Thank you so much G (and Craig). Your love, your truth, your openness break my heart open to shine more and more light. May I keep loving bigger and whole-r, and as beautiful as you. Much love to you and your whole family.
You are an amazing, brave, strong woman. Your writing is beautiful and heart felt. Xoxo.
Your honesty and openness are refreshing. So many people hide behind facades, pretending to be something or someone they aren’t. So, thank-you for being yourself and sharing so much of your life with others. Wishing you the best moving forward!
Check out our blog at vodkacalling.com—real talk for real women!
Thank you for the tea, and the honesty and of course we will still be there for you with a big hug – so sorry.
I send only love. I can empathize from my own place. I didn’t know when I got engaged that I was taking on mental illness that came with lies and meanness and addictions but I stuck it out. We stuck and wrestled and separated and reunited and the meanness came back. I said I wanted out and the meanness and control got bad. One year, one PFA later we are reconciling but I’m keeping my apartment for now. Marriage is so individual and so hard.
Sending love and hugs from North Florida to you and all of your family. We can do hard things!!
This kind of truth is so goddamn stunning and just fills my heart with hope. Thankyou!
Another voice who was drawn to your book by this post. The truth is there are so many women who need to part, and wish to part with love, as you have. I believe I managed to navigate my divorce with love and peace. If people understood this is possible, there would be less staying in fear. My family didn’t understand my path so I walked it very much alone. Your voice gives me hope that we don’t all have to do that. Please keep writing honestly. Your audience may be a different audience, or they may shift with you if you have what they need. You clearly have what many of us need, and the perfect storybook path is not required.