I’m staring at this blank page and thinking: This is one of the most important things you’ll ever write. Be kind and brave, Glennon. Steady. Clear. Shameless. Gentle. True.
Pretend it’s just the two of us here in my kitchen. I’m making us chamomile tea. I pass a mug to you and ask you to sit down on the couch with me. You follow me into my family room and and we sit down and I look at you. I can see that you’re nervous because you’ve figured out I’m about to tell you something important. I quickly say: It’s okay. Everyone is healthy. All is well. We are all okay.
We are. And yet.
Craig and I are separating.
What happened? I am still looking for the words. While I am smack dab in the middle of the unfolding, here is my best explanation: As you’ll read in Love Warrior, Craig and I endured serious trauma a few years ago. We suffered. My God, we suffered. I was broken, just completely shattered. And then we healed. It was beautiful.
And this is what I learned: You can be shattered and then you can put yourself back together piece by piece.
But what can happen over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently. That you are whole, finally, and strong – but you are now a different shape, a different size. This sort of change — the change that occurs when you sit inside your own pain — it’s revolutionary. When you let yourself die, there is suddenly one day: new life. You are Different. New. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fit into your old life anymore. You are like a snake trying to fit into old, dead skin, or a butterfly trying to crawl back into the cocoon, or new wine trying to pour itself back into an old wineskin. This new you is equal parts undeniable and terrifying.
Because you just do not fit. And suddenly you know that. And you have become a woman who doesn’t ignore her knowing. Who doesn’t pretend she doesn’t know. Because pretending makes you sick. And because you never promised yourself an easy life, but you did promise yourself a true one. You did promise – back when you were putting yourself back together – that you’d never betray you again.
And so one day you sit down with your beloved, wonderful, kind, brave, warrior husband and you look at him and you say: Honey. We have worked so hard, for so long. We have been warriors for each other and for our children and for this marriage. And yet. I don’t fit here anymore.
And your husband looks at you and, eventually through his tears, he says: Four years ago you gave me the most selfless love I’ve ever received. It healed me. And now I’m going to return that kind of love to you. The kind of love that only wants truth and wholeness and peace for each other.
For the next several weeks, you do nothing but cry and talk. Sometimes it feels like that’s all you ever do—because, it turns out, you have been grieving your marriage for years. But still, you cry and talk more. You close the bedroom door and sit on that bed and you talk. You talk about how hard you’ve worked together, how you stayed on your mats and didn’t run from each other. Since you didn’t run, you discovered together that fight or flight aren’t the only options. There is a third way: heal.
You talk about how broken you each were when you met, and how whole each of you is now. You say to him: You’ve been my healing partner. He says: And you have been mine. You talk about how you can forgive someone and love someone and at the very same time know that you cannot be with them anymore. You get more honest than you have ever, ever been before. You talk about how hard, how very brutal it’s all been for the two of you. Since day one. And you talk about how beautiful it’s been for the two of you. Since day one. There is a moment in every conversation when one of you says: My God, the kids – and neither of you can go on. That’s the black hole. Still is. I can’t write more about that right now. Someday. Not today.
You sit in a therapist’s waiting room to discuss how to handle this with as much peace as possible for the kids.
You sit with your children and you create a new family mission statement:
Then you help your soon-to-be-ex-husband-forever-life-partner move into a rented house a few doors down. You have family dinners, plan your family summer vacation together, and you look at each other and realize you’ve never loved each other more, bigger, truer.
And then you tell your team. You tell the people who are invested in your career. And hot damn, this is bad timing. There is fear and panic. Because you are about to launch the biggest project of your career, the book you finished a year ago, and so many have been working so hard for its release. And it’s all about your marriage. And the advice from many is: Wait, G. Just wait till after the book has launched to reveal this. This is a MARRIAGE book – you can’t break up before it even comes out! Glennon – it will affect sales. It will affect your career, your success.
And you will listen to this advice. And you will decide: No.
Like Mama T said: I was not called to be successful. I was called to be faithful.
I was called to be faithful to truth and vulnerability and to YOU. I never promised anybody I’d get it all right; I promised I’d keep showing up forever. Today. Whether I’m in the valley or on the mountaintop.
Please come close when I say this next part, it’s important: This next step is not a departure from the path of the Love Warrior. This next step is the fulfillment of it – for me, for my particular journey. Love Warrior is a book about self-trust. It’s a book about a woman who has painstakingly learned that there is a still, small voice guiding her through this brutiful life one next right thing at a time. And that the only thing she cannot do – not ever again – is betray that voice. Self-betrayal is allowing the fear voices to drown out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading us home to ourselves and to truth and to love. Love is the boss of me, not fear, and certainly not “success.”
And by the way, success to me is not staying in a marriage — it’s staying in my own peace. At all costs. And so, even when it’s highly inconvenient – even when it feels CRAZY – I will listen to the voice, and I will obey it. And I will be messy and complicated – and I will show up anyway. Because I’ve fought too hard for my sobriety, sanity, integrity—and for your trust—to give it up now.
So I said to the team: We tell our people now.
And they said: Okay. Should we clear your schedule then? Revealing yourself in your writing about this is one thing, but do you want to be on stages with it? Won’t that feel too vulnerable?
And I thought about that for a while. Lord have mercy, cancelling the tour sounded good.
And I decided: No.
My family is here, now in two houses. But my family is also you.
I will not hide from you, not now. I will show up in your cities, in your churches and theaters and on stages and I will say: HERE I AM. A little busted up, but not destroyed. I will be at my weakest, but when we are weak, then we are strong. If I’m this weak, can you imagine how strong I’ll be? Damn.
Listen: Love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah. So I might be cold and I might be broken but I am still gonna scream HALLELUJAH all over this country. I am going to stand in front of you with my medicated little head held high and I am going to be so busted up and broken that the light is going to pour out of me like stained glass. I know this.
Here’s what else I know: Some loves are perennials—they survive the winter and bloom again. Other loves are annuals—beautiful and lush and full for a season and then back to the earth to die and create richer soil for new life to grow. The eventual result of both types of plants is New Life.
New life. Nothing wasted. No failure. Love never fails. Never, never. Love is messy and beautiful and brutal – and Love is the whole point. So, I am not afraid, I was born to do this.
I’m asking you, please love me through this. Be my people. The world will have opinions and I need this Love Warrior Army. Please stay close.
Sister On, my beloveds. We can do hard things. We belong to each other. And LOVE WINS.
G
P.S. Since I publicly announced the trauma in my marriage four years ago, I have become a soft place to land for women in marriage trauma. I have listened to what kind of responses from people are helpful and which are hurtful. So many of us want to say and do the loving and supportive thing, but we sometimes don’t know what that looks like. So, with humility, love (and a healthy dose of defensiveness on behalf of my heart and the hearts of my warrior sisters), I offer the following thoughts:
If I don’t mention something, it’s not because I forgot to. It’s because I desperately have to find the balance here between honesty and a tell-all. Between transparency and responsibility. What I owe you and what I owe myself. There will be parts of this story I (try to) keep for myself and Craig and the kids. If you can, please resist assumptions, gossip, or asking for details I haven’t provided. I can tell you this: I feel defensive of Craig here. No one could have worked harder. There is no better father or man on earth. Craig is a hero. He is a Love Warrior. I am fiercely proud of him.
Try to avoid lamenting how sad it is that people “throw away their marriages these days.” Try not to generalize. I have met hundreds of divorced women who didn’t throw their marriages away. Most of us fight like hell for our marriages until we realize that we can either save our marriages or save our souls. So please, I’m not looking for advice. Just love and support.
Please don’t pretend to know what God thinks of us. Please think deeply about the chasm-wide difference between leaving a man and leaving God. Please remember that when a woman leaves, she just brings God with her. Nothing separates a woman or a family from God’s love. Not death, and certainly not divorce. Jesus taught us that sometimes death is necessary for there to be new life. And that God loves us far more than any institution God made for us. When someone suggests otherwise, it brings shame to us. But we won’t let that in. We are women who have become far too wise to believe in shame.
Sometimes, when people make decisions about marriage, it evokes strong feelings in others. If my news does that to you today, please look inside and get curious about whether those feelings have more to do with you and your life than they do about me and mine.
I will repeat this last one: Please stay close. I need you more than I’ve ever needed you.
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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1,790 Comments
Glennon, Thank you for sharing your story, for shedding light in the dark corners of our lives. Your bravery allows others who have gone through the roller coaster of reconciliation and separation and hope and uncertainty to feel a little less shattered, a little less broken, a little less unlovable and ashamed. You are not alone. There are so many of us in your corner and your family’s corner, rooting for you and rooting for the day when the exhale feels a little less painful. And your kids, the part of it all that makes you feel like you can’t breathe and you want to die a thousand little deaths before breaking their hearts. They will be ok. They will see how their parents still love each other and care for each other and they will feel that love. That love will keep them warm at night and comfort them during the day. That love (as difficult as it can be at times) will be your family’s anchor. I say this from one slightly busted up warrior to another.
I have not met you but love you fiercely! Warrior on dear sister. I am standing with you! You’ve got this!
Sending love and prayers to you as you make your transition. I left my own marriage with a 4 and 6 year-old ( they are now 20 and 18). I was an educated, stay-at-home Mom. It would have been easier to stay from a financial stand-point, but not from an emotional stand-point. It took a life-threatening illness as the catalyst, however in hind-sight I can say with conviction it was the best choice for the growth of my soul. It taught me never to judge another’s choices when it comes to marriage as no one besides yourself and your husband can truly know and appreciate how hard you have fought to stay in your marriage. Not all marriages are meant to last a lifetime. Some people come together to heal aspects of themselves that require fixing; when the lesson(s) have been learned, it is time to move forward and sometimes that means doing it on your own ❤️
How incredibly brave you are to open yourself to us. Thank you for the gift of your trust, Glennon. I promise to take this gift and protect it, comfort it, nurture it. Can you feel the embrace of your many Sisters? We love you so much.
Love, light and much strength to you, your partner and your children. Dear sweet Love Warrior, may you continue to find strength in your truths.
Glennon, I turned to you and your book at a time when I was having a mental health crisis, and you have no idea how much support that gave me through a very hard time. No one is extent from hard times and through this, know that many women are standing with you, without judgement, just with support.
Carry on warrior and never stop spreading the love you have with all of us!
V
I have so much I want to say- but will just say thanks. Love wins no matter what that love looks like. Hugs and peace friend.
This hits me hard, on a personal level, today. Thank you for your bravery and transparency for sharing this with us. I am grieving for all of you, but trust that this is what you need for you. Standing close by with love and hugs of strength and support.
You are loved, you are cherished and we are with you. I have been on the mats for 20 years, almost. It’s not easy, none of it. Thank God you and Craigs can talk, and cry and grieve together. Staying when it’s wrong is painful, leaving when you know it’s the right thing to do is painful. My heart is with you and hope you feel the love from us all.
Hi sweetie. Thanks so much for telling me this. I know that was impossibly hard on top of a long list of impossibly hard things that you have done recently. I’ve got your back and I’m so proud-of-you, sad-for-you, glad-for-you, scared-for-you, excited-for-you, you know : all the feels! You are doing your work and I’m right here looking you in the eyes being true back. You are so dear to me! I remember stumbling upon your blog years ago when only hundreds knew you. And I read and read and read and soaked you in and laughed and cried and felt known even though our paths were SO different but our journeys were ONE. And then you said you might write a book and what should you include and I said it HAS to include the police officer at Target because, you know, that one breaks me every time. And your book came and I read some of it but not much of it but not because it wasn’t wonderful but because I already knew it plus adulting. And mothering. And laundry. But you came to Seattle and I brought my friends and we were smiley and sweaty and you made us laugh so hard about cutlets. And then you opened your book and read the story of the police officer at Target. Just for me. And I cried. AGAIN. And then I stood in a long line and loved on my girlfriends who couldn’t wait long enough so I stood alone and someone handed out candy and your mom came and talked to me and I loved her! (Of course.) And it was my turn and I told you I lost my friends (meaning they had to go) and you stood up and shouted to the handful of remaining people to help me find my friends until I explained and we all laughed. And we hugged and took a picture and you look perfect. And I blinked.. But I was so glad to see such a dear friend! Even though you don’t know me or my story. And yet you do. Because we belong together. And we can do hard things. And especially because love and truth win. xo
Your strength and honesty brought me to tears. Thank you for being so brave, vulnerable, and compassionate. The world needs this, women need this, and I needed this, today and all days. Sending you support and love in your journey.
<3
Love and light to you G.
Sending you support, love, and light. Especially during any “grief waves” that might hit along the way.
Thank you for your honesty! Not every marriage can last a lifetime in the traditional sense. I was married for 15 years, and I’ve now been single 15 years. My ex husband is my friend now (but wasn’t at first!), and we co-parented and helped each other over the years. We are still always there for each other in important ways. My now 20-year-old says, “You and Dad are so different.” He’s right. We were too different to be together as whole adults, but we were just right for each other while we became those whole adults. I get uncomfortable when I hear people say that others “throw away” their marriages. I didn’t throw it away. I fought like hell for my family. But ultimately, my husband was unfaithful to an extent we couldn’t heal from.
Your warriors are with you. Thank you for being with us.
I did almost this exact scenario 2 yrs ago. It was sooooo hard. It’s still hard. Every day kind of hard. My church wanted me to throw him out. No. That’s not grace or love. So we planned family dinners. We went on vacations together. Two years later we (new spouses included) go places together. We hang out together. I text him daily like multiple times a day. I was married for 20 yrs to him. That love doesn’t leave, it just changes. I want everything good for him. We didn’t need lawyers or custody, I live close and we just figure out where the kids will be that night and the kids are open to saying where they feel they need to be. As long as they aren’t avoiding the other parent, they are free to stay where they need. My younger stays every other night. My 16 yr old stays 3/4 days then switches. It’s not always flawless communication, but it was the best possible for our kids. Their dad is a good, wonderful man. It can be done. We all still go to church together as one BIG family. New spouses , 4 kids and 4 adults and sit right in the middle in the same row. Yes. It’s about love.
Your bravery, authenticity, love, and courage inspire me. You have given me insight and courage about how to be more open and vulnerable through the realities of life. I appreciate your openness and willingness to talk in The middle of the pain and not just at the end when it is all healed and wrapped up with a pretty bow. Keep being brave and leading us all in our fight to continually find ourselves in this crazy world. So much love.
You are glorious in your love, compassion and resolute bravery. This is what grace looks like. I wish you and your family lots of love and strength to get the tough moments.
I love you and respect you, and my response is still that. I will buy your book! But may I just say, I don’t understand. No judgment! My brain just isn’t able to see how this comes to be. Please stay with God, that’s all. Love, peace, healing to you!
None of us does this life perfectly…..we just do it the best we can. Love to you and your family
Truth, love and vulnerability. True power!
You are one hell of a woman, Glennon. Just respect and love. Carry on Warrior!!!
I don’t know you, Glennon. Until Liz Gilbert shared your post I had never heard of you. But I’m feeling such love for you after reading this – and sending you that love along with strength and peace for this transition. And I can’t wait to read your book. Knowing there’s an “after” story doesn’t make the “before” any less important or interesting. In fact, it’s more so. <3
Love is the boss of me, not fear, and certainly not “success.” Love that…and the analogy about annuals and perennials. Peace to you and yours.
We stand with you and your truth, G. We are honored you chose to share it with us and are circling you and your family with more gigawatts of love and light than can be measured. You are brave. You are true. You are loved.
I am saddened and mourning for you, your children, and for Craig. I have come to love all of you through your posts I don’t understand, nor do I expect an explanation. Just know that you are held. All of you are held. I cannot imagine what you are going through. It must be anguish and devastation. But you will get through it. You just will.
Thank-you for being you. For your truth and honesty and courage. I recently separated from my husband and partner of twenty-one years, after fighting like hell for our relationship for over a decade. I too feel broken, sad and tender; and I am also hopeful, curious and open to the path of love and authenticity that lies ahead of me, my ex and my daughter.
All we can do in this life is to remain loving and true to our inner self – our true voice – and keep going, even when it seems very dark and scary. You are a warrior: brave and true.
Your children are lucky to have a mom who guides them forward with honesty and grace. Craig is lucky to have a friend like you, who can let him go, with love.
Be well and know that you are not alone. You are surrounded and held by all of your readers, including me.
Love to you. Just love. <3
I have been broken. I have struggled to forgive myself…. What you just wrote; what you just shared has given me hope and the incredible gift of feeling less alone. I will print this out and keep it with me. I will look to it when I feel I can’t stand the pain or the look in eyes of the ones I love who cannot understand me. Thank you a thousand times…. Much Love & Gratitude…. Nan
Sending you all of my love. I am in awe of your bravery. People will say and do mean things sometimes. Try not to let them affect you. We’ve got you. You and your family are going to be ok.
Thank you. I love you, I love you, I love you. Thank you for your honesty, thank you for your heart, thank. You for your vulnerability and thank you for sharing what matters. I love you I love you I love youuuuu ❤️❤️❤️
Brightest blessings and all of the cradling hugs and comforting tea and love and love and more love for the days ahead.
Thank you for being so brave, and shining your Light so the rest of us can find our way home ❤️
It’s so hard to be honest and truthful with yourself. Sometimes easier to stay put. Thank you for sharing.
Tonya
Hi Glennon, I never comment, but I love you. I’m also separated and divorcing. And most importantly, reaffirming my own faithful commitment to the inner voice. Your words have carried me. “Just do the next right thing.” “We can do hard things.” The image of dancing while God weaves. Saving my life all the time. THANK YOU.
Here’s another Leonard Cohen lyric that helps me: “Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There’s a crack, there’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” Don’t stop ringing the bells. We’ll stay close. XO
You are a gift! May love find you all wherever you are at and strengthen and encourage you. Peace to you and your beloved family.
You are AMAZING! Your p.s. says it all for those of us who have traveled that hard, rocky, crater filled path. You made me remember Brene Brown’s clip on empathy. We/You and your family do not need people silver-lining our experiences. You are loved. Your family is loved. The light at the end of the tunnel is NOT an oncoming train! What strengths and resilience you and Craig are teaching your children with love. The biggest compliment I received after my divorce was at a baseball tournament from another mother while we were washing socks and jocks. She was shocked to learn that I was no longer married to the man I had been talking to off and on all week and that pther woman was his wife because we were so nice to each othet and we acted like we really cared about pur son and our mitual relationships. I smiled and thanked her and told her thst was the goal! Score for love warriors!You’ve Got This!
Glennon, every response I have to what you’ve written bears so much repeating:
Love, love, love;
Thank you, thank you, thank you;
Amen, amen, AMEN.
Seriously… in reading this I shed some tears, called out an ‘amen’ in response to your words… TWICE, shed some more tears, and felt the kind of chills that can only come from reading one of the most beautiful, heartfelt, and authentic messages of truth I’ve ever seen in my life.
I am so grateful for the gift that is you.
Keep staying true to that small still voice within, Warrior. And keep knowing that you give so many of us the strength to Carry On.
P.S. Thank you for Carrying On with the tour, too; can’t wait to see that stained glass shine this October in Long Beach! In the meantime, please remember the love, love, love that we (and so many others) have for you and all that you do.
“Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in”
You’ve got this. You’ve got us. You’ve got love pouring in from all over. Hang on tight through the wild ride ahead …
I’m so happy to have been sent here by way of Liz Gilbert on Facebook. My heart is heavy after reading this–I’m certain because I can relate to much of it; because maybe I have not said the right things to those going through this, and because I can feel in your writing the heartache this brings to you and your family.
And then my heart is lifted to know there is such bravery in the world which you exude. I found your post and you at a great time. From this total stranger…you have my gratitude and support! <3
Thank you. For choosing love and honesty and vulnerability. I have watched two friends with three children separate and divorce so thoughtfully and kindly. Many people have asked, “Why aren’t they still together?” because they are doing the divorce so well. Their children are their focus. They both want their children to have healthy, happy, honoured parents. 10 years later, each parent has re-married and these new partners have been embraced by “the exes and their extended family”. These parents have lived by the motto: “I want more people to love my children. I want a village.” The children are amazing and have felt secure knowing that their parents text/talk daily about them and will show up and all sit together at games, concerts etc. It was not always easy. But it can be done. And you and your family can do it. Just show up and do the next right thing!
“We either have to save our marriages or save our souls.” That’s exactly how I felt 5 years ago and while this new life isn’t always perfect, I didn’t expect it to be, it is my life and I am living it for me and my children. We are all happier and better now because of that decision. Thank you for putting it out there…so many people don’t understand. They think divorce is the easy way out. It is not. But sometimes it is the only way to move forward.
Love is the boss of me, not fear, and certainly not “success.”
We’ve got you sister. We’ve got you.
I walked away from a man I had married and still loved once and it was the hardest thing I had ever done! It did not get better or feel better immediately, I cried and hurt for a long time, but I can now see with all clarity that it was the right thing to do as I did it for the right reasons which were not unlike yours. I admire your strength and courage as you do this while having kids which is even harder. It won’t be easy but it will be worth it as you are staying true to yourself! My ex husband and I are still close and great friends, it is absolutely possible!
I am sending lots of love and hugs and strength your way!
You are a HERO. Today, you gave me COURAGE to live. NO SHAME. Wow. Wow, Glennon. Thank you. How are you this brave? I have to keep trying to be as brave as you. Thank you for your example. It really helps. Today – maybe most days — I am struggling between YEAH. I’m a warrior, I can be brave! — and just I give up. I will never have the life I want. It’s so painful. And you speak to my broken heart. You are so unlike me in every way, and yet you speak straight to my heart. What a gift you give the world. Wow. My heart is hurting for you, and that is good. You have created a bond of love between us. And you have created a world full of love around Craig and the kids. They are ours too. We are all radiating love back at all of you. We love you. And with that love I will keep working to heal my broken heart. Only more love, more love. No shame, no fear. More love. More courage. It’s scary to do hard things. Often I’m too scared. How do you screw yourself to the sticking place and just DO??
And also — being gentle and compassionate. You are a warrior. That’s already clear. But you might also need some hiding. You might even need to let some people down. We love you and are with you, whatever you need.
Big hugs for being brave and true.
I just pre-ordered the book.
Keep up the good work. Really.
Dear brave girl, you have tried everything and fought for your family more than many women I have known! I see through your books how Craig is a wonderful father and husband..you too were great together through good and bad and I am sure you will still be great together as a family. I admire yoir coursge and honesty! I am in the process of a painful divorce. I ignored his betrayals for so many years for the sake of my marriage and our family, but in the end, it was not worth it. It was just me trying to make it work. I can’t keep our family the way you and Craig are because I am too hurt to forgive his biggest betrayal, but I have the support of my son who is 16. I do no talk to my stbx because I need to protect myself from getting hurt even more. Many people do not agree with my decision but I did and do what is best for me and consequently for my son who is the only one in this life that needs to understand my reasons and choices. And he does. Maybe one day in the future I will be able to forgive mu husband but now it is not the time. I spent twenty years of my life doing that. Now I have to forgive myself for have given so much. Now I need to focus at rebuilding myself in so many levels. To gain my power back. It is a fight, but this one is worth it! Wish you, Craig and the kids, all the best on this journey! You will make it work, I am sure! Love and peace warrior! Xoxo
I made this choice after 33 years of marriage. I am not finally living my truth. All the things that I wanted to do with my life, I am now doing. Yes, I even started singing karaoke at the age of 57 and traveling to places like Italy and Ireland and Peru. There has been so much pain even while knowing that this is the best course of action. Part of me felt “I’ve made it this far, what would be the benefit of a change.” I’m learning that there is still the best years to come and I’m embracing them.
Indeed — feel reborn. THank you for sharing your story with courage and love.
As my dad said to me when I was in this place – today is the hardest. But it’s a teensy bit better than yesterday. And I promise you, each day will get a micro-millimeter better than the one before it, especially as you are holding fast to your truth.
I promise you, the kids will be ok. I PROMISE. I have been there and I am on the other side and I. Promise. You. How you and Craig are honoring each other through this will matter. How you are able to work together and keep communicating for their sake WILL MATTER. I PROMISE it makes a difference. It will matter to them, and oh God, G – it will matter to so many in this sisterhood.
I keep typing and deleting things that come from a heartfelt place of “Oh, G, you will get through this even when you think you won’t – and there will be a lot of days where you will think you won’t” and “You don’t know me but I have been there and our culture is deeply uncomfortable when there’s no victim, no bad guy – just a tenacious and pervasive KNOWING – but hold on to that knowing because some days it will be all you have.” and “Surely, THIS IS A TIME where this community of people here can feed you back the way you nourish all of us.” And stuff like that. But you know this, and you have a community of people who know you and people who wish they did that are all here to encourage you and build you up and remind you that in Living Your Truth you bring hope even when you’re probably not feeling much like it.
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with all of us. YOU ARE LOVED.
I didn’t see you when I boarded, but we are in the same boat. I’m not sure what the ports of call are on this particular cruise, and as sorry as I am to know you’re a fellow passenger, I am ever-so-grateful to see your Light shining through what has thus far been a foggy trip . Thank you for allowing it to Shine where we can all see it.
You are loved. You are appreciated. You, Craig and the kids are being prayed for. Hard things, we can do them.
This is so beautiful. And heart-wrenching. You are not alone, girl. Your strength, honesty, and transparency is so inspiring. Be kind to yourself. Thank you for sharing.
Wow! This is the first time I have read anything by you and I am totally inspired and in awe. You are one brave woman. There are marriages and people who need your message and I can only imagine how your message today just cleared the shame game for so many others. Sending you hugs and strength-
Although I understand your following is primarily women, these words ring true for me as well. The best thing anyone in our situation can do is to still love the person, for how that person contributed to your own growth, faith and healing.
I spent years in limbo, unable to get past the fact that the end of our marriage would impact my children. It definitely did impact the children, but they still see the love and cooperation between my ex-wife and I, and they now, once again, get the best of both of us. They are growing, and understanding more and more of the fact that despite the fact that the marriage ended, we will always be a family, we will always have each other’s backs, and we will always work in the best interest of the family. I understand this is somewhat rare, and am happy you seem to have the same situation.
It took me years to come to that realization on my own. Years of hurt, anxiety and panic. Your honest, straightforward words provide the best summation of where I eventually have arrived that I have found.
Life is too short, even in difficult circumstances, to continue living in fear and anxiety. For me, establishing that ongoing relationship, and living that commitment has made a world of difference. All the best in the continued journey.
No words. Just love. <3
Love Wins G! You are such a honest and beautiful truth teller!
I can’t imagine how difficult these past weeks have been for you! Know you are a beloved daughter of God and he’s got your back and he loves you! (and Craig!)
Love,
Jess
I left my husband about 18 months ago. He is an amazing man and father, but we didn’t fit together. My son was heartbroken at first, but now is happier and more confident than I have ever seen him. I don’t know why, but I know that he has seen two humans struggle through pain and loss, and still be kind and generous with each other. I am still broken, trying to find my path, but I know I will figure it out and will be stronger and more authentic because of it. Thank you for sharing this. It gives me hope! ❤️
I don’t know if it’s truly possible..but if it is – I Love you MORE! We’ve got you and Craig too, Sista – Warrior On.
Sending big love. And hearts. And rainbows. And glitter. And then more love.
holding a space of love. honouring your courage and truth. and getting in line for your book.
No explanations necessary. Only love for you here.
As someone who dearly loves the man I married 15 years ago, and made three kids with him, but doesn’t feel like this is where I fit anymore, thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. It is beautiful and healing and helpful.
Love and light G….. Hugs!
So much love to you. Thank you for your bravery and honesty and for sharing your grace.
You are loved. You are such a tremendous example for those of us in these difficult relationships. My divorce was final only 2 weeks ago and I love that man, the father of my children with a fierce love. Divorce and love are in no way mutually exclusive. I am thinking about you. Will see you in Atlanta soon.
I, for one, can’t fathom ‘leaving you’. You have done nothing to warrant that. Your strength and honesty are to be admired. My heart and soul are with you and your family. Love and Light to you all.
Sending you huge heaping armfuls of love and compassion and support. You are a monument to vulnerability and honor and love. I don’t know how you do it, but I am so so very happy that you do! It is so not easy being human, but you do it with grace, Glennon. Keep being you – it is beautiful! If you need a hug while you’re in Idaho – you’ll know how to find me. xoxo
My husband and I are in the throes of redefining what marriage looks like for us, a journey I precipitated by calling out the lie we were living. Like you, I figured out, however, that wherever the marriage ends up, the family must thrive. My kids are older (17-25) and oh so frustrated, but I’m hoping that we are modeling something other than traumatic amputation. I hope we’re modeling commitment to the well-being of others, even as we are committed to be true to our souls. It hasn’t been easy…on us or on them…but it has been worthwhile. Sometimes I feel as if “I just should have…”, but then I remember I’m not feeling the churned up, living a lie down to my core feeling anymore and I know we’re on the right path, even as I can’t see where it will lead. You’re not alone…truth is hard.
Blessings…
Thank you for sharing. I feel you. I am you. Many of us are you. Many of us who didn’t have a voice as eloquent as yours. Thanks. Sending positive, healing energy..or whatever energy you need at any given time. Thanks!
So much love for you. We are here, holding up your arms, until you are strong enough to hold them on your own again.
To everything there is a season….
You are braver than I can ever imagine being, G. Love to you, always.
-Sharon
Love to you and yours
You are so beautiful….I thank you so much for sharing your heart and your vulnerability with all of us. I am one of your Love Warriors who decided to end her marriage, and yet is sitting in limbo of separation for years. I know what it is like to feel that black hole that is the question “what about the kids?” It’s an awful place to be and breaks my heart every time I think about my daughter and her family. I will be sobbing with you when I see you in Perkasie, PA in September. But we are strong, and we will persevere and thrive…I truly believe this.
Bless. You are a rock, and a rockstar, and a warrior. Thanks for your honesty. BLESS.
I’ve loved being a mostly silent monkee for years now. Your honesty and brokenness and beautiful family has helped me and my (now) ex-hubster choose honesty and compassion and family and cheering for each other. Families look a lot different than they used to, but putting the kids’ needs up front, and your health (you and Craig both) right up there with it… you’ll find your new normal and you will feel so amazing and awed by it.
I’m two years out from my split, we’re still a family, my ex and I are still good friends, I am proud of us. I am proud of you guys, too. <3
You are my hero.
You tell me life changing things without a chin wobble or a scream.
You trust God and yourself first, and then you gently tell important things and always do it from a place of love.
You tell difficult things in a tone of Grace and you make certain that we know things are okay when you tell us.
I want to sympathize to the change you are announcing, but all I can do is sit and stare in wonder at the overwhelming LOVE you have taken with your people for this.
You told Craig, the kids, and your team, making certain they were okay and knew what the plan was before going to the next group, US.
I love you because you don’t just tell me that we can do hard things, you show me how to do them when you do something like this.
You may be David in size, but you are Goliath in showing me how to love.
So much of this is me, right here, right now. A new creation that will never fit into the old, cracked, crushed mold that I once was. I need to remain in this peace I have found and also NEVER betray the inner voice again, the one that screams when there is something not right, when I am not being true to myself. Thank you…for what you have gone through and your willingness to share the lessons.
So many thoughts but I will simply say — I love you!
Just like you are with us, we are with you. I can’t imagine how hard it is to put yourself out there like you do and then have to explain such personal things as this. I hope that you receive the respect and love that you both deserve. lots of love!
We are here…loving you through this. Your people are going nowhere but on either side of you–ready for whatever sistering is needed. Love to you always–but especially during this difficult time.
Sending love. The truth is the truth and it takes courage to acknowledge it and grow with it. I honor the courage and light in all of you as you do so.
I don’t know you but I fee so proud of you. You will be ok & so will your family. Love to you all in this new chapter.
G: I read Carry On, Warrior when I was in the midst of a separation/divorce and at the beginning of my sobriety and I have read every word you have written since. I flew to Chattanooga to hear you speak and I have missed two of your speaking engagements I had tickets for due to life emergencies. I will be coming to Chicago in October to give you another great big hug! Needless to say, you have my love and support. Always.
Sara from St. Louis
Glennon, I’ve been looking forward to your new book for MONTHS, & now I’m looking forward to it even more. You are so right to trust your instincts to be open & honest about your family’s decision. It’s your openness & honesty that makes us all love you so much in the 1st place. I’m going thru a similar situation in my relationship, & God has been giving me signs that yes, this is the right decision for me, as hard as it may be. Once again He is speaking to me through you… so maybe your timing (to reveal your news) is perfect? That being said, I’m so sorry that you & Craig & the girls have been going thru such a tough time. Sending lots of love & prayers your way & a great big virtual hug! XO
Oh G. Thank you for your beautiful honesty and example of staying true to you and that still small voice that God gives to us all. Love and prayers for you and your sweet family. I look forward to seeing you again soon in Chicago.
Sending love and prayers for you and your family. I love that you are keeping your word to yourself to be honest even when you know there is so much that is hard involved in this. You are brave. You are strong. You know what’s best for you. You can do this and you will still bring much inspiration to others even as you do this for yourself.
Sending love and admiration your way.
You are brave, wise, and strong. Thank you for your honesty. I hold you all up in prayer.
G-
I found your blog two years ago to the day when my husband asked for a divorce. It was divine intervention because everything I read spoke directly to my heart and soul. I got your book and read it in a day. Your words, your story, brought me peace and healing and laughter and tears. Thank you for that. A year ago, he moved out, less than a mile away so our teenage sons could go back and forth easily. We are still on this new path of separation, taking our time before we sign papers for the divorce. It has been hard reconciling my faith, letting go of the shame I feel for having a “failed” marriage. But a few weeks ago I realized that my marriage hadn’t failed, it had changed and we had changed. That old marriage, that way of being with each other just wasn’t healthy or true for either of us, and it was not good for our sons to witness. What is good, is letting go gently, lovingly, with all the right intentions of still being family. I am praying for you and your family. And I am so very, very grateful for your openness and honesty. Thank you for putting all the feelings into words and sharing them with all of us. Peace
G~
Carry On, Warrior is the main reason I’m still around to write this comment. I somehow found it in the midst of a bunch of self-help books during the darkest time of my life and probably only read it because of how bright and colourful the cover was (I read none of the other books I bought that day). It showed me that I could get through it and heal. “If you can still feel, then there has been no amputation. If you can feel, you are not too late.” Saved my life.
Now I read this with tears streaming down my face (again) and I am taken back to my own childhood. Your kiddos will be fine.
Also, no way in hell I wouldn’t buy Love Warrior now. (I mean, even if I hadn’t pre-ordered it last week.) I haven’t been able to hold onto a copy of CO,W (so many people need your words!) and I am certain that this will be the same.
Love and Sisterhood to you.
My first comment to say thank you. Thanks for reminding me that I did the right thing (for me. and for us) in leaving my marriage 3 months ago. And that we haven’t failed, but we’ve ended. And New Life is around the corner, if not here already
much love xo
Thank you for your courage in being true- to yourself and family most of all, but to us our here as well. The fords that it is not a departure from the journey that is in Love Warrior – but a fulfillment – particularly resonate with me and my own story of marriage and relationships.
Sistering you up – sending nothing but love and admiration, and holding you and your family up in the light of the LOVE that is truly God.
PS – sorry for the phone typos.
Wow…you are amazing and inspiring. It takes such clarity and courage to share your life with all of us. And, what you’ve learned, and what you continue to learn, is of immense value to all of us. I applaud your choice of living in your integrity. I chose to stay in a marriage that caused damage to myself in ways I’m still trying to heal, decades later, after the marriage came apart anyway. I didn’t have the strength to do what needed to be done at the time, and it’s been the most difficult lesson of my life. Everything you write and speak and share with us is a great gift. You were born to do this. Onward Love Warriors! ❤️
You are a very brave woman. Your honesty has brought me to tears on more than one occasion and I sit here today crying again because you are blazing a path for all of us who spend our lives in fear. Thank you and know that I am praying for you and your family.
Sending much love and prayers your way. May you and your whole family find peace and strength through His love! You are such a beautiful soul and your words give so many hope and strength and laughter through the pain and tears; so as you work your way through this path, may you receive the same from your sister warriors!
I know you probably won’t have the time to read all of these comments. But thank you. I needed to read this today. My husband and I too were rocked by trauma – the death of one of our girls almost five years ago. Since then we’ve grown and changed in different ways. Apart, not together. We have been on the edge of separation for a long time, continuing to try and work it out. But I’m starting to realize that some things can not be worked out. And as you stated, sometimes it takes death to bring rebirth. Thank you for these words.
Beautiful . Loads of love to you on this journey . This is the voice of so many women……..
<3 My inner voice led me to the same choice and 15 years after my divorce, we are still a family. It will be worth all of the hard stuff when your beautiful children come to you in a few years and say "thank you for choosing to do it this way". The example that you are setting will shift the energy and teach love for so many, especially for your children. Blessings for all Love
Anne
Love, admiration, peace, happiness, prayers and positive thoughts heading your way. Thank you for sharing – you (and your family) are just wonderful – Love Warriors through and through!
A broken home usually means divorced parents. Or thats what we mean when we say it. But sometimes a broken home has married parents in it, but it’s still broken. And sometimes, divorced parents keep a family whole. It is encouraging to continue to see couples be true and honest to where they are and maintaining unity with each other and the kids despite ending a partnership. Divorce is terrifying to the evangelical conservative Christian, I know because I grew up as one and it terrifies me still. It’s like a big stamp of FAILURE. The church seems to have taught us that God binds us together and there is never a reason to separate. In the back of my mind, I still somewhat believe that. Questions fill my mind of “what about this” or “did you try hard enough” or “you have to trust God to redeem the marriage” etc etc. Often I’ve wondered if my own husband wouldn’t be better freed to marry someone more suited to fill his needs, but the failure that I would carry for not being enough is too much to bear. Life takes us all kinds of places and changes us…I’m no longer surprised at the people we become or the olaces we end up.
Your Love Warrior Army is strong and our love is deep. It is precisely because you share all your triumphs and bare all your pain that we love you. And, in loving you we realise how much love and truth we deserve ourselves. Your gift is a gift to us. We are your army and we will love you and each other and ourselves.
Oh, beautiful & true heart. I read this with tears & a swell of gratitude that you are in the world with such clarity & honesty. I love you (& while there’s much more I could probably say about listening to the quiet voice, about finding yourself in new places where you no longer fit, about how love doesn’t care about our ideas about it, I won’t. Because living it is very different than talking about it…)
Did I say I love you? 🙂
with love, love, love, b