I’m staring at this blank page and thinking: This is one of the most important things you’ll ever write. Be kind and brave, Glennon. Steady. Clear. Shameless. Gentle. True.
Pretend it’s just the two of us here in my kitchen. I’m making us chamomile tea. I pass a mug to you and ask you to sit down on the couch with me. You follow me into my family room and and we sit down and I look at you. I can see that you’re nervous because you’ve figured out I’m about to tell you something important. I quickly say: It’s okay. Everyone is healthy. All is well. We are all okay.
We are. And yet.
Craig and I are separating.
What happened? I am still looking for the words. While I am smack dab in the middle of the unfolding, here is my best explanation: As you’ll read in Love Warrior, Craig and I endured serious trauma a few years ago. We suffered. My God, we suffered. I was broken, just completely shattered. And then we healed. It was beautiful.
And this is what I learned: You can be shattered and then you can put yourself back together piece by piece.
But what can happen over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently. That you are whole, finally, and strong – but you are now a different shape, a different size. This sort of change — the change that occurs when you sit inside your own pain — it’s revolutionary. When you let yourself die, there is suddenly one day: new life. You are Different. New. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fit into your old life anymore. You are like a snake trying to fit into old, dead skin, or a butterfly trying to crawl back into the cocoon, or new wine trying to pour itself back into an old wineskin. This new you is equal parts undeniable and terrifying.
Because you just do not fit. And suddenly you know that. And you have become a woman who doesn’t ignore her knowing. Who doesn’t pretend she doesn’t know. Because pretending makes you sick. And because you never promised yourself an easy life, but you did promise yourself a true one. You did promise – back when you were putting yourself back together – that you’d never betray you again.
And so one day you sit down with your beloved, wonderful, kind, brave, warrior husband and you look at him and you say: Honey. We have worked so hard, for so long. We have been warriors for each other and for our children and for this marriage. And yet. I don’t fit here anymore.
And your husband looks at you and, eventually through his tears, he says: Four years ago you gave me the most selfless love I’ve ever received. It healed me. And now I’m going to return that kind of love to you. The kind of love that only wants truth and wholeness and peace for each other.
For the next several weeks, you do nothing but cry and talk. Sometimes it feels like that’s all you ever do—because, it turns out, you have been grieving your marriage for years. But still, you cry and talk more. You close the bedroom door and sit on that bed and you talk. You talk about how hard you’ve worked together, how you stayed on your mats and didn’t run from each other. Since you didn’t run, you discovered together that fight or flight aren’t the only options. There is a third way: heal.
You talk about how broken you each were when you met, and how whole each of you is now. You say to him: You’ve been my healing partner. He says: And you have been mine. You talk about how you can forgive someone and love someone and at the very same time know that you cannot be with them anymore. You get more honest than you have ever, ever been before. You talk about how hard, how very brutal it’s all been for the two of you. Since day one. And you talk about how beautiful it’s been for the two of you. Since day one. There is a moment in every conversation when one of you says: My God, the kids – and neither of you can go on. That’s the black hole. Still is. I can’t write more about that right now. Someday. Not today.
You sit in a therapist’s waiting room to discuss how to handle this with as much peace as possible for the kids.
You sit with your children and you create a new family mission statement:
Then you help your soon-to-be-ex-husband-forever-life-partner move into a rented house a few doors down. You have family dinners, plan your family summer vacation together, and you look at each other and realize you’ve never loved each other more, bigger, truer.
And then you tell your team. You tell the people who are invested in your career. And hot damn, this is bad timing. There is fear and panic. Because you are about to launch the biggest project of your career, the book you finished a year ago, and so many have been working so hard for its release. And it’s all about your marriage. And the advice from many is: Wait, G. Just wait till after the book has launched to reveal this. This is a MARRIAGE book – you can’t break up before it even comes out! Glennon – it will affect sales. It will affect your career, your success.
And you will listen to this advice. And you will decide: No.
Like Mama T said: I was not called to be successful. I was called to be faithful.
I was called to be faithful to truth and vulnerability and to YOU. I never promised anybody I’d get it all right; I promised I’d keep showing up forever. Today. Whether I’m in the valley or on the mountaintop.
Please come close when I say this next part, it’s important: This next step is not a departure from the path of the Love Warrior. This next step is the fulfillment of it – for me, for my particular journey. Love Warrior is a book about self-trust. It’s a book about a woman who has painstakingly learned that there is a still, small voice guiding her through this brutiful life one next right thing at a time. And that the only thing she cannot do – not ever again – is betray that voice. Self-betrayal is allowing the fear voices to drown out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading us home to ourselves and to truth and to love. Love is the boss of me, not fear, and certainly not “success.”
And by the way, success to me is not staying in a marriage — it’s staying in my own peace. At all costs. And so, even when it’s highly inconvenient – even when it feels CRAZY – I will listen to the voice, and I will obey it. And I will be messy and complicated – and I will show up anyway. Because I’ve fought too hard for my sobriety, sanity, integrity—and for your trust—to give it up now.
So I said to the team: We tell our people now.
And they said: Okay. Should we clear your schedule then? Revealing yourself in your writing about this is one thing, but do you want to be on stages with it? Won’t that feel too vulnerable?
And I thought about that for a while. Lord have mercy, cancelling the tour sounded good.
And I decided: No.
My family is here, now in two houses. But my family is also you.
I will not hide from you, not now. I will show up in your cities, in your churches and theaters and on stages and I will say: HERE I AM. A little busted up, but not destroyed. I will be at my weakest, but when we are weak, then we are strong. If I’m this weak, can you imagine how strong I’ll be? Damn.
Listen: Love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah. So I might be cold and I might be broken but I am still gonna scream HALLELUJAH all over this country. I am going to stand in front of you with my medicated little head held high and I am going to be so busted up and broken that the light is going to pour out of me like stained glass. I know this.
Here’s what else I know: Some loves are perennials—they survive the winter and bloom again. Other loves are annuals—beautiful and lush and full for a season and then back to the earth to die and create richer soil for new life to grow. The eventual result of both types of plants is New Life.
New life. Nothing wasted. No failure. Love never fails. Never, never. Love is messy and beautiful and brutal – and Love is the whole point. So, I am not afraid, I was born to do this.
I’m asking you, please love me through this. Be my people. The world will have opinions and I need this Love Warrior Army. Please stay close.
Sister On, my beloveds. We can do hard things. We belong to each other. And LOVE WINS.
G
P.S. Since I publicly announced the trauma in my marriage four years ago, I have become a soft place to land for women in marriage trauma. I have listened to what kind of responses from people are helpful and which are hurtful. So many of us want to say and do the loving and supportive thing, but we sometimes don’t know what that looks like. So, with humility, love (and a healthy dose of defensiveness on behalf of my heart and the hearts of my warrior sisters), I offer the following thoughts:
If I don’t mention something, it’s not because I forgot to. It’s because I desperately have to find the balance here between honesty and a tell-all. Between transparency and responsibility. What I owe you and what I owe myself. There will be parts of this story I (try to) keep for myself and Craig and the kids. If you can, please resist assumptions, gossip, or asking for details I haven’t provided. I can tell you this: I feel defensive of Craig here. No one could have worked harder. There is no better father or man on earth. Craig is a hero. He is a Love Warrior. I am fiercely proud of him.
Try to avoid lamenting how sad it is that people “throw away their marriages these days.” Try not to generalize. I have met hundreds of divorced women who didn’t throw their marriages away. Most of us fight like hell for our marriages until we realize that we can either save our marriages or save our souls. So please, I’m not looking for advice. Just love and support.
Please don’t pretend to know what God thinks of us. Please think deeply about the chasm-wide difference between leaving a man and leaving God. Please remember that when a woman leaves, she just brings God with her. Nothing separates a woman or a family from God’s love. Not death, and certainly not divorce. Jesus taught us that sometimes death is necessary for there to be new life. And that God loves us far more than any institution God made for us. When someone suggests otherwise, it brings shame to us. But we won’t let that in. We are women who have become far too wise to believe in shame.
Sometimes, when people make decisions about marriage, it evokes strong feelings in others. If my news does that to you today, please look inside and get curious about whether those feelings have more to do with you and your life than they do about me and mine.
I will repeat this last one: Please stay close. I need you more than I’ve ever needed you.
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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1,790 Comments
I am weeping for you and your precious ones, and holding you all in my heart. Thank you for being such a shining example. <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I could say so many things but instead I’ll just say two:
What you are describing here – your deeply awake, brave-hearted knowing of yourself and of how things actually work in this life when we are with the truth– transcends your particular situation and is a profound instruction and reminder for us all. There is no such thing as walking in the truth and love and keeping everything neat and “together”. All our ideas of “together” come from our closed, small, scared places anyway ! Few can talk about these things knowingly, even fewer can walk in them. The path you have chosen shows us (and yourself) how deep your faith and devotion *really* run. I hope you are able to take some (small or large) refuge in that, every day.
Secondly, those who say something along the lines of “you worked so hard and it didn’t work out ?!?” are misunderstanding what it means for things to “work out”. All the hard work and love you’ve put into your marriage are manifest in each day along the way. You’ve loved one another, shown up for one another, modeled love and forgiveness and grace to your children, and faced up to what the challenges in your relationship ask you to face up to. All of that is manifest in all those days lived in love and honesty, and they show up in THESE days of love and honesty too. There are many ways to live and walk in truth and love, marriage is only one. Jesus was the ultimate radical in this regard and its the Church, not Jesus, that might have us think otherwise.
Sending you lots of love and support as you walk through this passage. Thank you for keeping your head high, your feet on the ground and your heart soft. You remind us all what is possible!
Sometimes people grow exactly how they’re meant to, but that growing takes them apart. Neither good nor bad, just different. It takes a lot of courage and honesty to know when that has happened, and take action so that you can both continue to grow into your best selves. Much love. It’s not easy, even when you know it’s right. We’ve got you.
I loved this post 200%!!!! Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. I implore all your followers (and critics) to keep their mouth shut regarding their negative opinions and “advice” for you. You are wise, strong, self-aware, God/Universe-aware, sensitive to your husband and children, and beautifully vulnerable. I so wish more women would realize they could be more whole, alone than whole with a relationship that doesn’t serve them anymore. God, more than anything, wants us to be joyfully happy – not a marital martyr. My tickets are purchased and I’ll be on the edge of my seat waiting to hear what wonderful nuggets of wisdom you graciously throw our way.
Reading and crying. Tears that are such a mix of emotions, recognition in your words, G. Thank you. Separated from my husband last year and finalized our divorce in January. Recently been wondering if it would work to try ‘us’ out again. So ‘needed’ these words this morning. Thank you for being eternally brave and following your heart and sharing you. Thank you for showing the world how it might work to create a beautiful co-parenting situation; that things are not black and white, that we can always do hard things. Sending you ALL the love this morning. Big big hugs.
Glennon,
Your writing helped me through my separation and divorce four years ago. Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for sharing your belief, your love, and your amazing understanding with all of us. I respect and admire you more than i can express. And thank you for modeling how to do hard things.
Jenny
❤️
Thank you for continuing to share so much of yourself. Shalom my friend – to you and to those around you.
I am heartbroken. I realize that this is about me, and not about you, but I can’t stop crying. If you can’t make it, how can the rest of us?
The internet is so weird. I wish I could be in your kitchen with the tea, too. Or maybe we could dream big and be at a spa, with the tea and maybe cucumbers on our eyes because people say that is good. Either way, I love you and your family and want only good things for all of you. Thank you for bravely letting us in. May God’s peace and grace go with you as you muddle through. And we will help in whatever way we can. I’m with the casserole lady who commented above. And if you come to LA and need a casserole, I’m your gal.
Thank you for opening up about such a difficult subject to broach on such a public forum. I really needed to read this today. Your strength and honesty is inspiring. Stay strong, sweet lady. I’m keeping you in my thoughts.
Blessings to you, Glennon. Do your thing and know that there is a massive tribe… thousands and thousands of us… right behind you supporting you. Big hugs… thanks for telling the truth. If people don’t like it, fuck them. Just kidding. Bless them and their journey. LOL
You are just the best. Thank you, thank you, thank you for showing us what vulnerability is and what love really is.
THANK YOU!!!! xo
Glennon – we got you. Soldier on sister.
Thank you for remaining true and real and vulnerable with your words AND actions. You are loved and cherished!
❤️ We are here to hold you up. No judgements. No questions. Just hugs and love, momma.
Thanks so much for bring vulnerable and sharing ur story ur bravery has helped me in so many ways! Thank you thank you!
I would absolutely love to connect with you more personally because this made me feel like I was sitting next to you– us both talking about our failed marriages, how painful yet freeing saying we are separated has been. I really would love to talk because this had me speechless and kept saying “yes” and “totally” and “we understand each other.” It is one of the hardest things to do. I just want to give you a big hug and know that you are amazing! Us bloggers, writers, artists have to stick together, especially when we are experiencing a hardship in our lives. Hugs again!
I am deaf, but wear a cochlear implant. I was able to “hear” your audio book Carry on Warrior, because your voice is “one I can hear”. That entire book; I felt like you were talking directly to me. I identified with your journey in so many ways. SO many ways! I cannot wait to read Love Warrior. I admire your integrity, Glennon. You are the real deal. Reading your post about your decision to leave your marriage, again felt like me hearing myself talk. I tell my 23 year old daughter all the time, ” we can do tough things because we are warrior women”. She laughs now; but she is getting it! BEST wishes to you and ALL your family. BIG HUGS. I am always down for a cup of hot tea!
Reading this and crying and crying. Not a bad kind. The kind where I feel understood. I am a child of divorce. And my parents made the best decision for themselves – which has been the best decision for me. They continue to love and support each other, and it’s much easier for them to do that as friends. I am so thankful for your wisdom and grace and fearlessness. You are so wrapped up in love. I hope you feel it. Xoxo.
What courage and bravery it took for you to write this! Lots of love and hugs for you and your family on your journey and the next step in life for you. No shame. None at all. Thanks for being you and using your voice to help so many. ❤️
to the new you! many prayers & love to you, Craig, your littles & your families! thank you so much for sharing your kind, gentle & open heart with all of us.
Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. You are amazing. A beautiful thinker, writer, doer. I feel so blessed to have found this blog so many years ago. You have helped me in more ways than you will ever know. Thank you. Saying prayers for deep spiritual and physical strength for you in the coming months. We are with you. We are with you!! xo
Watching from a distance and knowing you and Craig from high school I wish you both a peace and comfort that comes from living in this devastatingly beautiful state of truth.
Love and prayers for you all. I, too, have been through this path and am in the process of understanding I am in it again. Your description of annuals and perennials is beautiful. And you are beautiful and brave! What you have given all of us is a gift you will never know!
Thank you. You are so brave. I know how it feels to shatter in a million pieces and after your pieces are back together, everything is in a different place. You are different. Everything is different. I walk with you., head up, heart forward, with faith.
Thank you Glennon. Just thank you for all you’ve been through and all you’ve shared. My heart breaks for all of us. Thank you for reminding us that we find love and faith and hope in our pain.
Hi Glennon – We’ve never met, but your writing and vulnerability have been a gift to me. You’ve given public voice to the many many many things I’ve voiced more privately in my small community and in my marriage and friendships, such as they were. When I’ve said them, and done my best to gracefully live faithfully to them on the way of Love, it’s made me seem a crazy person to most around me. At great and devastating cost. Perhaps because I’m a man, perhaps because I was a pastor, perhaps because I’m less eloquent, perhaps because I’ve walked and stumbled less elegantly. Whatever the case, hearing you say them, in your way, with your courage, has helped me feel less crazy. And I know the pain and struggle of which you speak – especially the recent struggle to press on with all the juxtapositions in full effect – and my heart goes out to you. Because it is the hardest path. Of that I am fully convinced. It is not a path one gets the privilege to walk until you’ve walked many hard paths leading up to it. I wish I could offer you evidence that your hope in the beauty of this path’s destination, but I haven’t gotten there yet. Nonetheless, I give you my encouragement. Faith is no doubt the only way forward to the true good that awaits, and perhaps the resurrection is the only solid evidence. This much I can say for sure: it seems to me that you and I have been living eerily similar parallel lives of a sort (no doubt you hear that a lot! it is the part of the gift you give to so many – permission to acknowledge the truth of what is that has not yet been named and therefore is hidden in shame. in a world of billions, I’m sure there are millions of us), and I can affirm that everything I have learned in my life that feels True and Real and also strangely Hidden says that you are on the joy-filled, suffering-filled path that leads to the Joy set before all of us. So keep on fighting what I am coming to understand is the true good fight of faith, the fight to trust that Love carries and provides and sustains as we give ourselves to the child-like lives (and selves) that are hidden with Christ in God. And know that you are gifted for this work, and uniquely qualified by your life to do it (even and especially by the most recent chapters of it), and Shame be damned if it tries to get in your way.
Also, my soon-to-be-ex-wife-forever-life-partner and I have three kids (15,11, &8, boys and a girl in the center), and we are at the same stage in processing with them that it seems you are. What it means to be a family and committed to each other and all the rest. I cannot imagine that connecting with a stranger who left you a comment on a blog would be a resource you need in this time, but please reach out if it would. I don’t have a lot to offer except vulnerably shared experiences and yet another hope-filled voice telling you aren’t alone, but what I have in all those respects is yours should it be of any potential value.
Thanks for being you, more and more.
We are with you Glennon and Craig and kiddos! I am constantly amazed by your bravery and transparency and grace and love. Warrior on!
To begin, I’m very sorry to hear that you are separating, but also so VERY proud of you and Craig for trying your hardest and recognizing and honoring yourselves. I am also so proud (and jealous) of your decision to move forward as amicably and supportive as possible. Be proud of yourself too! Your explanation of having been put back together differently is beautiful and the fact that you and Craig can recognize this and make such a BIG decision in a respectful and healthy way tells me that both you and your children will Be okay. Your children will continue to grow up in a loving, supportive and connected family, despite two residences. I also appreciate you decision to share this news and continue your tour despite the difficult timing. I’m sending positivity to you and your loved ones, and please remember to be gentle with yourself during this time. Yes, you are strong and you’ll make it through this very hard thing, but don’t forget to be kind and gentle to yourself.
Goodness I love you. I love your words that exude GRACE. I admire your ability to Love with a capital L. I know the cost or truth, and you have paid it over and over… for us. Thank you.
God bless you Glennon! What a journey. We are all here for you.
My divorce was finalized in 2005. I come from a devout, Catholic family. I prayed and prayed and prayed that my marriage would work out. How could it be God’s will that I get a divorce? My worst nightmare was becoming a statistic after coming from a divorced family. I prayed some more and started to go to daily mass. I began running about 4-5 miles a day. I agonized and for the first time in my life I found myself unable to sleep.
Then one day … in the middle of mass as I knelt down to pray I had the very vivid image of Christ in the agony of the garden. The night they came to get him and question him and eventually beat him and begin the hours before they would crucify him. In that moment, my own very heavy cross was lifted and made light. I sobbed and sobbed as I realized my suffering was already paid for on the cross. The thought came to me “Do not pray for your own will, but for mine. I have other plans for you.”
I’m not saying that it was a walk in the park after that, but the dark clouds had left me. That was my moving on point and I have never looked back and have never felt more true to myself. Like with annuals versus perennials, sometimes relationships and marriages are just for a season or a certain amount of seasons. And here is the kicker: that is actually HEALTHY. I was shocked when I realized this truth.
Here’s to you, our great love warrior and inspiration. Sending you loving thoughts and lots of prayers. xo
Love is never wasted.
Glennon, you are loved. Thank you for your unwavering commitment to resisting the norm of presenting only your “best” moments and your most socially acceptable thoughts to the world. You have introduced me to the idea that a Christian marriage can be about what is best for each person, over and above the institution itself. I am going to explore this idea, as I was raised with the ‘marriage above ALL else’ doctrine. My parents had/have a miserable marriage and I’ve often wondered who they would be today had they decided to split ways a long time ago. I don’t know where I’ll land after exploring this new idea, but I thank you for getting me to question my idea of marriage before I enter into one of my own. Praying for peace, community, and warm fuzzies for you.
Thank you… Thank you for this. I have been fighting for my marriage since my husband told me in February that he no longer loved me… It hurts.. It has been devastating.. I never thought I would be able to let it go. But through it I have learned a lot about myself and now I feel like if he changed his mind about leaving I would never “fit” in a marriage with him. And it felt like failing for me. It felt like giving up… But I tried. I gave it all I had. I will never be the same. But I have hope because I found myself again. And I know God will carry me through. Thank you for your honesty. I will be praying for you… And the kids. The hardest thing about it for me is seeing my girls go through it. We will make it. We are Strong. God bless you!
Been there. Exactly. Your words have caused so many things to bubble up from my past…you see I was married and divorced twice. And I have felt called to share my experiences with others but not been brave enough to do so. You are my Love Warrior hero! Thank you for your bravery. Sending love and light and peace to you my dear Glennon.
Glennon, thanks for staying true to yourself.
We’ve been there too. Because he was scared to be a part of our family. So, we seperated. Slowly with a lot of love, trust and even more heartbreak, we started a new life together. You and your husband may not be living together and you may be divorced but in some aspects you will always be and stay together. Just at slower risk of losing someone in the midst of it. Be kind to yourself, Glennon. We love you!
You are a LOVE WARRIOR. I hope you and your family all soldier on.
Best to you.
Suzanne
Love, love and more love to you all. I’m one year into that new family arrangement. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through because I thought it was my failure to my children. The situation – and I – are not perfect, but the brokenness has allowed the kinds of light that never would have come in this lifetime, otherwise.
Oh, sweetheart. You have my love and my support. I am in awe of your bravery in sharing this with us because of the timing. I will pray for strength and comfort to heal all of your hearts as you live your truth one day at a time. Thank you for beautifully articulating what grace really looks like. If you were here, I would give you a huge hug and maybe some ice cream.
God, what a brave, beautiful family you are, to do what is right for your family and to invite us into this part of that journey.
You sent me the Pema Chödrön quote years ago and I’m thinking of it while reading this post…you and Craig have for sure been on the journey of warriors, & your beautiful kids are watching and learning from your brave truth-telling. Sending so much love, G.
Thank you for saying the hard things.
Goodness I love you. I love your raw honesty, your grace filled words and your ability to Love with a capital L. I am so grateful for your voice that speaks to the brokenness within us . You make us all feel so safe. It is remarkable how living your truth out loud has impacted us all. Your love warriors are indebted to you. I know the cost of truth, and you have paid it over and over, for us. Thank you
Oh G, my heart hurts for you. I’m in the midst of what you’ve already been through so I really do know first hand how it feels. You are brave and strong and I’m still HUGELY EXCITED to read Love Warrior. I’m purchasing both books for my closest friends and family, and this hard time will do nothing to deter your people, your LOVE ARMY, or your book sales. Think of the prayers that will reach heaven on your family’s behalf because of this latest news. You need those extra prayers right now and I’m so glad you told us. Thank you for your incredible bravery and for letting us love you through this. You are such a blessing to this world!!
So glad I discovered you and your blog a few years ago. I’ve only commented once before, but just want to say thank you for everything you’ve done and said — I’m a better person for having read you. Prayers and all good wishes for you and your family.
G-
I get it, sweetie. I understand. You’re devotion to being loving and honest and kind will see you through this phase. My heart sends you love.
Nothing but love for you, warrior. <3 Looking forward to being in the same room as you in November.
For you, Craig and your children, I pray you find what each of you truly need.
God Bless each of you, and guide you going forward.
Oh Glennon. You have inspired me since I first discovered you – your ability to be yourself, to be unapologetic, to be who you were/are/will be all in the same breath. You inspired me to write about my own journey with through un-brokenness and self-love. Actually, I quote you in my book, and I have just now realized that you could sue me. If it helps, I have made almost no money, so if I were you I would wait.
My own journey has given me a heart for single moms. As you begin this very hard part of your life, I wish I could give you a bit of my own heart to hold. You will need it. You will need the strength of all the people who love you, and you will need to hold onto it tight. Single parenting is not for the weak. It is for the warriors. But, as I’m sure you know, you can do hard things, and your children will see you doing these hard things every day and they will be just fine.
My dear, do not be afraid. Be brave, and then braver still. You will take all three of your little loves out for dinner by yourself, pay the bill yourself, and tuck them into bed at night by yourself. You will plan vacations, save for them, go on them, all without a co parent, and you will have the time of your life. You will have good days and bad days, and they will both be hard, and you will ask yourself “will this ever be easy?” and you will tell yourself, “no, it won’t” and IT WILL BE OKAY.
You will be okay. And if you ever doubt that, look for us, your sisters, and we’ll remind you.
You are loved.
With tears running down my cheeks I hear you I hear your heart your strength your beauty and witness your courage. Thank you. You are an inspiration to me to keep on fighting for me for my daughter for my husband in the midst of our own trauma. Can’t wait to read your book.
I was blessed to receive an ARC and finished last night. It came in my mailbox when I was desperately searching for a sign from God for which way to go in my marriage. I finished last night and was inspired by your journey and insights. For the first time I felt validated in my attempts to plant my feet and assume the warrior pose. I loved this book and your strength for sharing your journey to be healthy. i sit in awe of your strength and remind myself I can find it when I sit with my truth. I’m sending so much love and hope your way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your true self with us.
Oh, G. Sigh. Bless your sweet heart. You can do hard things – true. But isn’t being strong sometimes the biggest pain in the ASS? I was sitting in my car the other morning not ready to go into the office (and wishing I wore water-proof mascara) and finally feeling the weight of the year on me. So heavy. It made me think…”God is taking advantage of my strength”. Do you ever feel that way? But later I thought, nope…God is perfect, and I can do this. And you can too. And we’re with you.
Love and support G, that’s what you need, that’s what we will give. I should tell you that auto correct tried to change support to supper so if you need that too, just let me know. Carry on Warrior.
I’m here too. Holding space for you, G. We belong to each other and we will love you (and your family) through this.
Big hugs to all of you. All will be well.
Wow, your honesty is beyond inspiring, it really is life changing for those of us reading your words. Thank you and please know you and your wonderful family are being uplifted in prayers.
Thank you for showing up for us, G. Thank you for being brave and truthful. I am so moved that you have chosen to listen to your small voice inside, and even more than that, I am grateful that you still choose to share that voice with us here. I started reading Love Warrior last night, and in just one chapter have realized that this book has already changed me. I can’t wait to read the next chapters. I’ll be right here loving you through this, sistering like a mofo. Love surely does win. xo
Glennon, thank you for sharing your journey with us. After battling Lyme and co-infections and enduring spinal surgery in the midst of my Lyme battle, I put myself back together piece by piece. Like you said so beautifully, I felt like a different person completely. While I could not stand to hurt the man who had endured these challenging health situations with me and who had given me the gift of our two children, it wasn’t fair to him or me to stay. I no longer fit.
I have been in my own place for a year now. It is hard. Really hard. But, I know it is right and I know eventually, he will see that as well. Our main focus now is the kids, as it should be. Thank you for putting my life into the perfect words by describing your own. I wish you the best on this new journey. One day at a time. Momma Warrior. You’ve got this.
Not a brave act at all but a cowardly and selfish one. A betrayal of your vows and your family because of “fit”, whatever that means. God have mercy on your sin.
Well aren’t you just a little ray of sunshine in a dark time.
God will have mercy, for sure…some of us need it more than others.
Hugs Brad…we love all, that’s who we are. You are perfect right where you’re at in this time of your life. Carry on…
Up yours! Be gone you boxish troll!
So I’m processing all this, scrolling through the comments, trusting the sisters on here to help me know how to feel. And then I got here. And it’s true, you helped me know how to feel. Outraged. Your name is Brad, not Jesus. Troll elsewhere brother man.
What a blessing, to be able to see all of the blessings! I know this must be unspeakably hard, and I know you already know how much harder it could be had you and your husband not been willing to do the work of bringing back honesty and respect to your relationship. Keep doing what you’re doing G. You somehow got it all right, even though you may have moments where it doesn’t feel that way. Peace.
Thank you for trusting us with this G. We are here to witness and support. No judgments. Our inner voice cannot be ignored. It speaks the truth. Sending love to you as you move forward to do hard things. xoxo
When my marriage ended I couldn’t explain why I didn’t fit anymore. a lot of my friends and family still don’t understand it because it’s hard to explain. I broke open. I’m different. They ask how and still I’ve lacked the words to help them understand. My word-you are so good with words. Thank you for your honesty and bravery and eloquence. ❤️❤️
How beautiful and brave you and Craig are — You are both daring to have a new life. Best of wishes to you all!
You are a brave woman. Living ones truth is hard work but it is worth it. Being authentic and having
integrity is hard and yet so necessary if we are to be true to ourselves and be role models/mentors/people of the human race. And for those who ” know what God would say” I call BS. S/he has called us to love our neighbours as ourselves. We cannot love our neighbours if we don’t love ourselves; deeply , honestly, and truthfully. Thank you for writing this. . I haven’t read most of your posts but this one caught my soul this morning – and I read it. and now, I will buy your book and read it. And if it touches my soul as profoundly as this touched my soul, I will be forever grateful.
You know what? I didn’t know you were writing a book on marriage. I found out about it 5 minutes before I read this. Because of this. And I’m going to buy it, BECAUSE you wrote this. You know you can fix a bike if you’re just not maintaining it properly, and it sounds like you know your bike maintenance. But it’s not your fault if you don’t have both wheels any more and they don’t make that model now, so you can’t buy new ones…
I’m sorry to hear that you’ve got tough times ahead and that you’ve been through a lot. But I’m 150% sure you’ve made the right decision with this. Carry on, warrior. Xxxxxxxx
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, from the depths of me, for putting into words my journey after 22 years of marriage. I wish my husband and I could have been so kind and loving to each other in the process as you describe. We were looking for answers and easy answers are to create enemies and victims. I am moved to tears of gratitude for the way in which you have given me words to describe this experience in my life. You are not alone. Sending you love as you journey on.
We love you. Not “still” not “regardless.” Just, we love you. We’re proud of you, too.
And Jesus loves you too! 😉
I look up to you even more now. Thank you for sharing so honestly. ❤️
Nothing but love, light and prayers for you and yours. Thank you for sharing. I know there will be haters and idiots who think they are entitled to judge and comment on you. But through sharing, you help others. Keep going. Everyone who matters will be here for you.
So sorry for your pain and always impressed by your honesty and courage-someone told me-you had a good marriage-it just didn’t last
Since a friend first forwarded one of your posts to me a couple of years ago, I have realized what is wonderful about you is your openness and honesty. Thank you for sharing this incredible insight into your experiences – past and present. May God continue to shine His light on you and your family.
Dear Glennon,
I read your vulnerable post today. I’ve been reading your vulnerable posts for a while now. I first met you at a Storyline conference in Chicago. I showed up to that conference alone with a heart full of hope and ready to learn. You walked on stage with your perfectly coiffed hair and talked about how nervous you were but you spoke anyway. You told your amazing story and I was witness to how God stepped in and picked you up off of the bathroom floor and called you to make waves for Him. People asked you how they could be more like you and make big waves for Jesus. You told them just to be vulnerable and if they are speaking what the world wants to hear they will make those waves.
That’s what you did. You were vulnerable. I questioned the truth in your words because it’s hard for me to believe anyone with perfectly coiffed hair and skinny arms can be relatable but you were. You put yourself out there and it spoke to people.
You stood up for women and I love that. More people need to stand with women.
You stood up for black lives and I love that. More people need to stand up for black lives.
You stood with rainbow flag and a hurting nation when the Pulse shooting happened in June. I want it to be known that Jesus himself would stand with a hurting LGBTQ person and put his arm around them and hold them tight. We should all love people more.
I read your inspiring quotes day after day from some of my favorite authors and thinkers as you constantly encourage us to be brave and to love ourselves. These are good, encouraging, and true words.
But you and I are on different pages. Maybe that is okay. We should hear from different voices. But I want to send my voice out there to my friends who follow you wholeheartedly. Your quotes and vulnerability are encouraging to many women, but I fear you are only encouraging people to look within themselves; to find everything they need within themselves; to seek to be true to you and find what makes you happy. This is not the gospel, my friend. Truth cannot be found within our own fleeting and deceitful hearts. Truth must be found outside of ourselves. I believe wholeheartedly that God and the word he has given us in the Bible is the truth you can bet your life on. Do not depart from that truth.
My God, who loves all men and women of every color and sexual preference unconditionally, asks us to do two important things: 1) Love him. Trust him. Know him. And 2) Love others. Love others as you love yourself, but love others first. In John 13:34-35 Jesus commands us to love others the way that Jesus has loved us which is sacrificially. He gave up a throne to love us well. He gave up his life to love us well. Can I humbly remind you of this as you make life-altering decisions for your family in this season? You may not feel like you fit anymore in your family but I wonder if your comfort matters so much in this life. I have chased after my own comfort and I have been a self-indulging woman who is not making waves. You are making a difference and people are watching and listening and following your waves. I do not know you. I do not know your story or your marriage. You may have every right to break up. I am not judging your decision. My heart breaks with yours, together.
I am just asking you, please to not encourage my friends and fellow warriors to stay in their own peace whatever the cost. Yes Love Wins, but Love is a selfless, godly thing. It is otherworldly and cannot be found within our own thoughts and desires. Loving all others despite differences should be unconditional. Period. But it is not denying truth and supporting others through selfish ambitions.
You say, “Every girl must decide whether to be true to herself or true to the world.” There is a third option I do not want you to forget. We all must decide whether or not we will be true to Truth. Not faithful to ourselves. Not trusting ourselves. But faithfully trusting the One who asks us to be self-sacrificing and showed us how. I will remain true to the Word he has given me. I will continue to obey Love and strive to be more like him. He loves without condition but also points to truth. I challenge you to do the same.
Love and Truth Win.
Both.
Emily
Beautifully written!
Beautifully said
Love and Truth Win.
Both.
Wow, a more God honoring and graceful response could not have been written. Love to you all!
Yes. Thank you.
I love you G!
Why was I drawn to this….it’s like you are talking about my life instead of yours. Bless you for having the courage to be honest and loyal to yourself. I only hope one day I can do the same. Look forward to more inspiration.
Stay strong, Warrior Sister. You can do hard things. Sending you prayers and love.
So much love for you today, G. Love and pride. I am 2 1/2 years out from my divorce and it was the best, most peaceful, most painful, most horrible decision I’ve ever made. It still hurts today, and it was still the right decision. A friend and I were talking last week about the fact that there comes a time when you just know. For me, it was a tiny moment at the dinner table at which I suddenly knew. I still know today, and the knowing brings me so much peace.
I pray that peace for both you and Craig, and for your beautiful children. God makes beauty out of ashes. You will all rise again, healthy and whole. Ignore any negativity that comes your way and remember how many of us are wrapping you in our love.
I’d bring you a casserole and cartons of ice cream if I could. Your honesty and transparency is inspiring. Thank you for letting us in…
Your words helped pull me from shame and despair after I ended my own marriage. I hope this community will help you heal in return. Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability – I am truly grateful.
I’m so thankful for your openness and honesty, Glennon. We’ve never met and probably never will, but you have my support. Keep doing hard things.
I continue to be humbled and grateful for your gift of words and your heart-opening honesty and wish nothing but continued love love love and peace peace peace for you and your family.
My heart hurts. Not because your marriage is ending, but because you and your family are hurting. Love, hugs, and prayers.
G- so much love to you. You are a source of courage and strength and compassion that has kept my head above the water as my marriage has been sinking the past few years due to my husband’s illness of alcoholism. You speak the truth and have enabled me to hear the still small voice inside myself telling me that now is the time that I need to stay true to myself and God. Sometimes no matter how much we love someone, we really do just need to heal ourselves, become completely broken, and then emerge through the ashes as a beautiful new creation. So much love and hugs to you G. Staying close.
Oh, Glennon. I’d be lying if I said I’m not a bit disappointed, but I know this is not about me. 🙂 My marriage fell apart 5 years ago. We fought and worked so hard, and one year later we celebrated with a vow renewal. When I read about you and Craig, I felt so connected to you guys and was so encouraged to see another couple (one in the spotlight no less) survive. My husband and I started over together. We have a brand new relationship and marriage that works so well with our new healed and whole selves. But… I remember times when I felt the same way you do now. Times when I felt like my new wholeness needed to start over without him. I know things would have worked out had I chosen that route. So I get your decision, and even if I didn’t get it, it’s your life not mine. 🙂 So I’m praying for you and for Craig and for your precious kids. May God give each of you peace and comfort and strength and may he continue to guide each of you on this new path. You are so loved and so respected. We are grieving with you and championing you onward! Just like you remind us all the time – you can do hard things!
Almost 12 years ago i found myself in a dark, sad place in my marriage. We were both broken. I had an infant and a one year old. I was sad, broken, alone and terrified. I had to make the decision to heal my soul or keep my marriage. I chose my soul. I sat down with my husband and laid before him what I needed; what was best for me to heal and grow. He was understanding and amazing. He gave me space, he gave me love, he worked on healing himself. Through the entire process, we vowed to one another that no matter what we would stay a friendly family for our kids; whether we chose marriage or we needed divorce. We would never bash or spill hate out towards one another. We would create a loving environment for them to grow in. This was the best decision of my life. In the end, we found our way back to each other and are still married. I truly wish while I was walking through this terrible time in my life, that I had you to help me through it. Our families only wanted to point blame and spit hurt. Our friends didn’t know or didn’t know what to say. I felt so alone. Thank you for being so brave. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you. Thank you for protecting the hearts of those you love. May you all find peace and understanding as you walk through the pain and find the newer, stronger, happier path on the other side. I wish you nothing but the best. Warrior on!
You are so brave and true, you take my breathe away. By your side – valley or mountaintop. Today and always.
Oh G., I so understand. 5plus years ago, I was diagnosed with breast cancer, had chemo, radiation,mastectomy. And I survived. I made it through each thing, breaking and rebuilding. The person I am now is not the same person who was diagnosed. I just don’t fit the same way; you explained it perfectly. Every time I try to fit back in the same square, I wiggle and wiggle and can’t make it work. Nor do I want to make it work. It makes me too tired.
So there’s nothing but love here for you, as I’m in complete understanding. Prayers and love for all of you as you go through this rebuilding.
So beautifully written. I myself am divorced and now, newly remarried with a child from my first marriage. The marriage itself was painful every day and beautiful every day, just like you said. Thank you for acknowledging that it can be both as that is something I have wrestled with since we separated. I feel much love and respect for my ex-husband and we have worked so hard to have the healthy co-parenting relationship we have today. I am a Christian and struggled very much with the shame and judgement from the “church” on a “failed” marriage. I love what you said about choosing to save myself over saving my marriage as my marriage had emotional abuse. I did have to choose to save myself and to save my daughter indirectly because although it breaks my heart that she has two homes now, growing up in the household my ex and I created would not have been healthy for her. I also love what you said about a divorce never separating a woman from God. While I often felt far away from the church community during my divorce, I never felt far from God. In fact, I felt very close to Him and His love carried me through every step of the grief and healing process. Romans 8:38 ” And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love.” It is a very messy and painful journey and the most significant one I have ever been through. But I love the person I am now and how hard I have fought to heal and grow from this.
Only love to all of you.
G- I stand proudly with you, Craig, and your family. You are not alone. You will have all the strength, love and support in Wauwatosa, WI you need because you just turn around and you give it all back, the gift of you! Many prayers to you And many thank yous for having the courage to stay strong in your beliefs and sharing them with all of us.
G, I am beyond touched by this piece. It stopped me in my tracks and made me love you a million times more. You are so brave. I want to be that brave. If you can do such hard things, I know that I can do such hard things. I am proud to be your sister and fellow warrior.
I love you.
As a pastor, as a divorced single mama, as a human: Thank you.
Oh Sweet G! Prayers and love and more prayers for Peace and Healing for you and your whole family and village. Listening to that small still voice, and then hearing it and paying attention to it and Dear Lord acting on it! Painful and freeing and terrifying and earth shattering and beginning….all over again. What a brutiful journey you/we are on.
Much Love and Hugs to you dear sweet lady.
Consider your family mission statement signed by this reader. Here for you as you’ve been for me. R
Hoping you all find healing at the end of this difficult process. And still joyfully looking forward to the truths I know your upcoming book will teach me and others – can’t wait for my preorder to arrive!
Sending love, hugs, & prayers to all of you. Your honesty is unbelievable and wonderful! Thank you for opening up to us and letting us be a small part of your healing process. I wish you were coming closer so I could give you a real hug, but a virtual one will have to do. Take care of you and the kids, the rest will work itself out. ❤️
Glennon, dearest, you are my hero for your bold, brave openness in such a painful, unimaginable time. My marriage ended 9+ years ago, with the last 7 very unhappy. My situation is very different from yours, but the common threads are 1/ divorce is HARD and 2/ my children are my priceless treasure that came out of that marriage. You will heal and rise and grow and be the best you possible, even on the darkest of days. (And I still have some dark, lonely days.) Your honesty and openness will carry you forward, plus by not shying away from the hard stuff, you empower others. xoxoxo, Susan
“But what can happen over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently. That you are whole, finally, and strong – but you are now a different shape, a different size. This sort of change — the change that occurs when you sit inside your own pain — it’s revolutionary.”
That is truth and thank you for sharing your truth.
Sending prayers, love and light to your family. <3
You are so brave and so beautiful and everything you said is so true. You made me cry with your brutifal honesty. I hope you and Craig both realize that you are loved by us all and we will continue loving you through this. Praying for peace for you and yours!. Hugs to you!
Only love for you, friend. And prayers for strength as you endure the trying days ahead. Thank you for opening the doors for us to your real, honest, humble, broken and beautiful human heart. You’ve brought brought such love and strength to so many of us that you will never even know. Never give up.
Love, love, love to you and your beautiful family. I know how hard this is…I have walked this path. But I also know that you and Craig will always be a family and you will be showing your children a new beautiful example of love. That you can love someone…love yourself…and find a way to come together in the love around the family you created…while still choosing to separate. Prayers to you, Love Warrior.