I’m staring at this blank page and thinking: This is one of the most important things you’ll ever write. Be kind and brave, Glennon. Steady. Clear. Shameless. Gentle. True.
Pretend it’s just the two of us here in my kitchen. I’m making us chamomile tea. I pass a mug to you and ask you to sit down on the couch with me. You follow me into my family room and and we sit down and I look at you. I can see that you’re nervous because you’ve figured out I’m about to tell you something important. I quickly say: It’s okay. Everyone is healthy. All is well. We are all okay.
We are. And yet.
Craig and I are separating.
What happened? I am still looking for the words. While I am smack dab in the middle of the unfolding, here is my best explanation: As you’ll read in Love Warrior, Craig and I endured serious trauma a few years ago. We suffered. My God, we suffered. I was broken, just completely shattered. And then we healed. It was beautiful.
And this is what I learned: You can be shattered and then you can put yourself back together piece by piece.
But what can happen over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently. That you are whole, finally, and strong – but you are now a different shape, a different size. This sort of change — the change that occurs when you sit inside your own pain — it’s revolutionary. When you let yourself die, there is suddenly one day: new life. You are Different. New. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fit into your old life anymore. You are like a snake trying to fit into old, dead skin, or a butterfly trying to crawl back into the cocoon, or new wine trying to pour itself back into an old wineskin. This new you is equal parts undeniable and terrifying.
Because you just do not fit. And suddenly you know that. And you have become a woman who doesn’t ignore her knowing. Who doesn’t pretend she doesn’t know. Because pretending makes you sick. And because you never promised yourself an easy life, but you did promise yourself a true one. You did promise – back when you were putting yourself back together – that you’d never betray you again.
And so one day you sit down with your beloved, wonderful, kind, brave, warrior husband and you look at him and you say: Honey. We have worked so hard, for so long. We have been warriors for each other and for our children and for this marriage. And yet. I don’t fit here anymore.
And your husband looks at you and, eventually through his tears, he says: Four years ago you gave me the most selfless love I’ve ever received. It healed me. And now I’m going to return that kind of love to you. The kind of love that only wants truth and wholeness and peace for each other.
For the next several weeks, you do nothing but cry and talk. Sometimes it feels like that’s all you ever do—because, it turns out, you have been grieving your marriage for years. But still, you cry and talk more. You close the bedroom door and sit on that bed and you talk. You talk about how hard you’ve worked together, how you stayed on your mats and didn’t run from each other. Since you didn’t run, you discovered together that fight or flight aren’t the only options. There is a third way: heal.
You talk about how broken you each were when you met, and how whole each of you is now. You say to him: You’ve been my healing partner. He says: And you have been mine. You talk about how you can forgive someone and love someone and at the very same time know that you cannot be with them anymore. You get more honest than you have ever, ever been before. You talk about how hard, how very brutal it’s all been for the two of you. Since day one. And you talk about how beautiful it’s been for the two of you. Since day one. There is a moment in every conversation when one of you says: My God, the kids – and neither of you can go on. That’s the black hole. Still is. I can’t write more about that right now. Someday. Not today.
You sit in a therapist’s waiting room to discuss how to handle this with as much peace as possible for the kids.
You sit with your children and you create a new family mission statement:
Then you help your soon-to-be-ex-husband-forever-life-partner move into a rented house a few doors down. You have family dinners, plan your family summer vacation together, and you look at each other and realize you’ve never loved each other more, bigger, truer.
And then you tell your team. You tell the people who are invested in your career. And hot damn, this is bad timing. There is fear and panic. Because you are about to launch the biggest project of your career, the book you finished a year ago, and so many have been working so hard for its release. And it’s all about your marriage. And the advice from many is: Wait, G. Just wait till after the book has launched to reveal this. This is a MARRIAGE book – you can’t break up before it even comes out! Glennon – it will affect sales. It will affect your career, your success.
And you will listen to this advice. And you will decide: No.
Like Mama T said: I was not called to be successful. I was called to be faithful.
I was called to be faithful to truth and vulnerability and to YOU. I never promised anybody I’d get it all right; I promised I’d keep showing up forever. Today. Whether I’m in the valley or on the mountaintop.
Please come close when I say this next part, it’s important: This next step is not a departure from the path of the Love Warrior. This next step is the fulfillment of it – for me, for my particular journey. Love Warrior is a book about self-trust. It’s a book about a woman who has painstakingly learned that there is a still, small voice guiding her through this brutiful life one next right thing at a time. And that the only thing she cannot do – not ever again – is betray that voice. Self-betrayal is allowing the fear voices to drown out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading us home to ourselves and to truth and to love. Love is the boss of me, not fear, and certainly not “success.”
And by the way, success to me is not staying in a marriage — it’s staying in my own peace. At all costs. And so, even when it’s highly inconvenient – even when it feels CRAZY – I will listen to the voice, and I will obey it. And I will be messy and complicated – and I will show up anyway. Because I’ve fought too hard for my sobriety, sanity, integrity—and for your trust—to give it up now.
So I said to the team: We tell our people now.
And they said: Okay. Should we clear your schedule then? Revealing yourself in your writing about this is one thing, but do you want to be on stages with it? Won’t that feel too vulnerable?
And I thought about that for a while. Lord have mercy, cancelling the tour sounded good.
And I decided: No.
My family is here, now in two houses. But my family is also you.
I will not hide from you, not now. I will show up in your cities, in your churches and theaters and on stages and I will say: HERE I AM. A little busted up, but not destroyed. I will be at my weakest, but when we are weak, then we are strong. If I’m this weak, can you imagine how strong I’ll be? Damn.
Listen: Love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah. So I might be cold and I might be broken but I am still gonna scream HALLELUJAH all over this country. I am going to stand in front of you with my medicated little head held high and I am going to be so busted up and broken that the light is going to pour out of me like stained glass. I know this.
Here’s what else I know: Some loves are perennials—they survive the winter and bloom again. Other loves are annuals—beautiful and lush and full for a season and then back to the earth to die and create richer soil for new life to grow. The eventual result of both types of plants is New Life.
New life. Nothing wasted. No failure. Love never fails. Never, never. Love is messy and beautiful and brutal – and Love is the whole point. So, I am not afraid, I was born to do this.
I’m asking you, please love me through this. Be my people. The world will have opinions and I need this Love Warrior Army. Please stay close.
Sister On, my beloveds. We can do hard things. We belong to each other. And LOVE WINS.
G
P.S. Since I publicly announced the trauma in my marriage four years ago, I have become a soft place to land for women in marriage trauma. I have listened to what kind of responses from people are helpful and which are hurtful. So many of us want to say and do the loving and supportive thing, but we sometimes don’t know what that looks like. So, with humility, love (and a healthy dose of defensiveness on behalf of my heart and the hearts of my warrior sisters), I offer the following thoughts:
If I don’t mention something, it’s not because I forgot to. It’s because I desperately have to find the balance here between honesty and a tell-all. Between transparency and responsibility. What I owe you and what I owe myself. There will be parts of this story I (try to) keep for myself and Craig and the kids. If you can, please resist assumptions, gossip, or asking for details I haven’t provided. I can tell you this: I feel defensive of Craig here. No one could have worked harder. There is no better father or man on earth. Craig is a hero. He is a Love Warrior. I am fiercely proud of him.
Try to avoid lamenting how sad it is that people “throw away their marriages these days.” Try not to generalize. I have met hundreds of divorced women who didn’t throw their marriages away. Most of us fight like hell for our marriages until we realize that we can either save our marriages or save our souls. So please, I’m not looking for advice. Just love and support.
Please don’t pretend to know what God thinks of us. Please think deeply about the chasm-wide difference between leaving a man and leaving God. Please remember that when a woman leaves, she just brings God with her. Nothing separates a woman or a family from God’s love. Not death, and certainly not divorce. Jesus taught us that sometimes death is necessary for there to be new life. And that God loves us far more than any institution God made for us. When someone suggests otherwise, it brings shame to us. But we won’t let that in. We are women who have become far too wise to believe in shame.
Sometimes, when people make decisions about marriage, it evokes strong feelings in others. If my news does that to you today, please look inside and get curious about whether those feelings have more to do with you and your life than they do about me and mine.
I will repeat this last one: Please stay close. I need you more than I’ve ever needed you.
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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1,790 Comments
Send you a long, comforting hug across the miles.
(Wish I knew what to do with my own situation)
Heartbroken. And still all my love, understanding and compassion to you AND Craig. I wish I had been able to split up with as much grace, honesty and kindness as you are doing. Carry on, Warrior!
(((hugs))) and lots of love to you and your entire family. When I was in the process of divorce, my biggest fear was for my children. That they’d somehow be “damaged” or “scarred”– “products of divorce”. And while I still believe that kids don’t get through divorce unscathed, I also realized that kids don’t get thru childhood from an intact family unscathed either. No one gets through life unscathed, period. Every person on earth will have pain from something, and if my kids didn’t have pain from divorce, they’d have pain from something else. So I’ve just determined to love my kids as hard as I can and help them heal through their pain–just as I would have if they’d had other pain even if the marriage had turned out differently. I used to think of my kids as china that could easily break and never be put back together again. Now I think of them as the living creatures they are, that, like a bone, when it breaks, heals stronger than it was before. Blessings to you.
So much love and support for you and your family, G. I am going through this, too. In fact, my divorce was just final this past Thursday. We are trying to love each other in this new way for the kids…and for ourselves. The kids are ok; your kids will be ok. I know this because when kids have 2 parents who love them and want nothing more than to protect and cherish them, they will be OK no matter when the outcome of their parent’s marriage.
XOXO
With what joy do I see that you are safeguarding your children’s hearts from too much loss. There will be some, but not a loss of everything — down to the bone and up in the air and in crashing despair — in the rage and trauma that all too often accompany this decision to live apart. The commitment to kindness matters. Praying for all of you.
Glennon, dear sweet, Glennon. CARRY ON was the book that cracked me open for my awakening and I am so looking forward to this new one. You are so brave and true, a beacon for the rest of us coming after. And I hear where you are one thousand percent. Everything will be all right. I honor all that is who you are and where you are. Thank you, sweet sister, for your courage. I hear it, I see you.
I’m so deeply sorry for I know the loss you are feeling right now. I’m also deeply awed by your honesty and truth to yourself and your family. You are truly brave and very loved.
Nothing but love and fierce pride in your family’s sacred journey here. My husband and I had our marriage die an ugly horrible death in the face of my mental illness and his anger and resentment. We followed the path through the valley of the shadow, and came out with our pieces put back together in different ways that fit together better, stronger. That was what OUR journey held. You have to follow yours. You know, the Chinese used to take broken pottery and fix it with gold, creating gorgeous, stronger works of art. Your family will be the same type of masterpiece, however your path winds. You follow your truth and know we’ve got your back, sister.
Oh, Glennon. I love you so much. I’ll pray for all of you!
Love you. That’s all.
Holding space for you and wishing you were coming back to Indy.
Right here with you all. Nothing but love.
I experienced a marriage trauma 2 years ago and a dear friend gave me your book, Carry On Warrior to read. It helped me through some dark times. I’ve been following your posts and you have been a voice of hope for me and my marriage, I was anticipating the release of your new book because yet again, I need it. When I read the first few paragraphs of this post, I thought, well if Glennon and all her love can’t save her marriage, HOW THE HELL am I going to??? I was pissed at you for “letting me down”. Then I read, and cried, and I kept reading and am still crying as I type this. I want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for being your true self, for having the courage to listen to your voice, for living true to you. Sometimes you have to let other people down to make something new and beautiful. I am close Dear G as I know you are close to me.
Just wanted to share a slice of love and solace from God.
Isaiah 41:13
“For I am the Lord, Your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says: “Do not fear; I will help you.”
Picturing God taking hold of my right hand during tough times gives me a peace that truly does surpass all understanding. Wishing you and your family that same peace.
G –
Lots of LOVE, SUPPORT and AWE of you this morning.
Stay strong, WARRIOR ♥
As a woman who fought hard for her marriage for 15 years & ultimately listened to my inner voice & left my marriage, I can relate. Stay strong … Prayer & good friends will get you through this difficult time! You are much stronger than you know! XO
If there is anyone who can do this well, in the best healthiest way, and carry the children gently through, it is the two of you. But I still feel teary. Is it weird that I feel like MY parents are splitting up?
Peace, prayers and love being sent to you.
The one thing I know to be true about divorce is that no one comes to that decision easily. It always involves struggle and heartache, and because of that, everyone going through it deserves the most love and grace.
Sending lots of love and support.
“You talk about how you can forgive someome, love someone and still not be with somone”. I understand that so well now. You have been with me through my darkest times. Thank you for all that u shared. Wishing u strength and peace. Love always
Love ❤️
Oh. Wow. Feeling a little stunned. My initial reaction was to say I’m so sorry G! I am so very sad for you, Craig and the kids. I feel so sorry that you both had fought so, so, so hard and for it not to work out? It just feels like such a travesty. Like there’s something wrong with the universe if people can work THAT hard and fight THAT hard for something and not get what they are working and WARRIORing so hard for. Damn, it just doesn’t seem right! You two really DESERVED the marriage everyone dreams about and some are so blessed to have. But I know that all that work and all that warrioring was NOT for nothing! I imagine sometimes doubt may seep into you head about that. Or maybe not, you are a seasoned veteran at this “finding meaning” thing, after all, but in case doubt creeps in, just remember your own words…Nothing wasted. NO FAILURE!!! Thinking of you and the whole family. Sending love and light and wishing you all peace. Waiting to see what beauty comes from this, because there will be pain, but there will surely be beauty. Much love!
Love, hugs, and prayers. Your honesty, authenticity and courage floor me once again. You walk your talk in the hardest of ways — the fact that you didn’t wait to make this change or tell the news and the way you’re handling this with Craig & your kids — truly, hats off to you sister. THANK YOU for being such a role model to us!!! I got separated after pretending for so long that I couldn’t take it anymore. Divorce did bring much new life. Peace to you and your whole precious family.
I have spent the past six months sitting near a dear friend as she divorced her husband. The entire process reinforced for me something that has felt true for many years: just because a romantic relationship ends does not mean it did not have value or that there was something un-true about the love. I watched my dear friend grow in tremendous ways over the ten years of her marriage, ways in which she would not have grown without the specific person of her husband in her life. They grew each other to the point where they no longer needed what the other had to give. It takes a lot of courage to step out of the undeniable cultural security that partnering affords us, and to trust that there are more love teachers in your future. Peace to all your beautiful hearts.
Knowing when to stay and fight and when to let go are both agonizing decisions. I will keep you and your family in my prayers as you work your way through this change.
Parts of me are sad, hopeful and all-too-knowing but no judgements here. You have given so much of yourself to us while holding down your family, so sister, we support you. #sisterwarriors #bottomline #unconditional #mayjesusbeyourbackbone
I relate to so much of this. You are brave and it’s a struggle and people might not understand but if you’re like me you’ll look back and never regret the decision to live truthfully. I wish you the best.
Holding space for you G. Love you sister.
Glennon!!
I’ve been there… the best advice I ever received was to remember and tell your kids:
Just because a MARRIAGE ends, does not mean the FAMILY ends… your family can Carry On! The only difference is Mommy and Daddy live in two houses. Holidays, birthdays and special occasions and even sometimes dinner time will be / can be the same (until they get older)
You are/will handling this beautifully and remember to take your own advise. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. If you need to put the tour on hold/postpone whatever…. DO IT! Your sanity and your children’s emotional health are the most important thing right now. UNLESS the upcoming tour IS your hearts desire… then go for it, be filled up, with all the love you will get from the thousands of hearts you will touch.
You may remember my post last week about the sweet boy who took his life in Taos. Don’t worry about it!
I’m going to help them, my daughter, Grace and I are going to throw a fundraiser in January for the family to receive funding for ongoing counseling. The town of Taos has been there for us when we had our traumatic experiences… we owe them this… and we are going to help them.
Much Love!! Tammy
Thank you for sharing this and trusting “all of us”. Looking forward to seeing you in Spartenburg and sharing this time with you.
You’re freeing up big new energy for a big new life. Blessings and fun as you journey!
Sending so, so much love to you Glennon, and your dear sweet family. I am excited for you, I know (all too well) how agonizing it is, but I’m thinking of you finding that fit, that overwhelming HOME, that crushingly divine body and soul connection that you positively deserve…and all the adventures that you will discover on your way there. xoxo
I’ve been going through something similar. We had been together since we were 17, we have 3 amazing children and he moved out last September. In March I found out things that shattered my heart but somehow, time heals. I’ve been amazed by how resilient our three kids have been. There has been heartache and pain for them but they are so strong and I try to stay present with them as they navigate their pain. Holding you in my heart and all the others going through similar heartache. Sending light and love xoxo
To quote Anne LaMott, Grace Bats Last.
Sending love, and hugs, and orayers for all of you in his time of shifting beginnings and endings. Your bravery, honesty and eloquence inspires me, and so many others. Live the truth..THAT is a gospel life.
I admire your honesty – with yourself and all of us. You are an amazing, strong person.
Selfishly, I’m glad you didn’t cancel your tour. I look forward to giving you a hug on August 13.
You are so brave. Sending you a million virtual hugs.
You are a rockstar. We are standing with you. You are strong and courageous. Thank you for continuing to walk your journey with such gentleness, humility, and boldness.
Praying over you that your eyes and ears and heart would be sensitive to receiving the love and support that makes its way to you- and praying earmuffs and blinders for those things that don’t bring your heart what it needs.
No shame. Indeed. ONLY love and grace and support. And maybe a glass of red;)
My friends and I are coming to the Montreat conference. When one of those friends showed me this article, my first thought was, she will need our hugs. So hugs now, and I look forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks and maybe getting to hug you in person! You are so right that the world still needs you and your voice and your book about marriage.
Peace & love & thanks to you all. We are with you. ❤️
Sending love, prayers, and light to you and your entire family. You are still a family — all of you are still our family.
Thank you for being real. My prayer is for strength, peace and comfort as you, Craig and your precious children walk this journey. You are not alone. ❤️B
Your honesty astounds me in everything you write but today it left me breathless. I work as an advocate for victims of domestic abuse (don’t worry, I’m not suggesting Craig was abusive) and I run a support group. I quote you often but today I am thinking of covering the walls of our support group room in quotes from this post. I know you must think a lot about how your words affect people in similar situations as yours. I hope you know how life-changing they are for women in very, very different situations as well. Here is what the women in my group will read this week as they struggle to find life beyond their abuser:
“When you let yourself die, there is suddenly one day: new life. You are Different. New. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fit into your old life anymore. You are like a snake trying to fit into old, dead skin, or a butterfly trying to crawl back into the cocoon, or new wine trying to pour itself back into an old wineskin. This new you is equal parts undeniable and terrifying.”
Thank you for integrity, love, and fierce commitment to the truth. Warrior on, sister.
I’m divorced as well – broken, but blessed. You should be proud of taking such gentle and precious care of your heart, Craig’s heart and your kid’s hearts. My ex-husband and I remain the best of friends, and that has been an amazing gift. I wish the same for you and your beloveds.
Sending love!
Bless you for your honesty Glennon, it is refreshing and inspiring. Warrior on, love will always win.
Oh, dear Glennon. You have brought me to tears this morning. Tears of grief and compassion and fear and love. You are a true warrior, All my love to a sister of my soul.
There is also a cup of camomile tea at my house waiting for you. Anytime.
A little teary because I have been there – and did not handle it as gracefully as you and Craig are doing. But we muddled through and 25 years later are still in touch and touching base on what the “kids” are doing – they are 28 and 31. You can do this. Sending you all much love and prayers. Thank you for being an example of Love.
Deb
I’m in a perpetual holding pattern in my marriage (I’m finding it difficult to let go while at the same time, I’m watching the same toxic patterns play out). I’m painfully aware that I’m in the place where I must make a choice and am actively resisting. You’ve been the voice of support and strength through my journey of rebuilding myself after my world and my life blew apart. Together, we can do hard things. Much love.
At a particularly low point, I saw you speak in Nebraska. I missed the whole presentation due to a work meeting running late and a 2.5 hour drive, but I made it to the Q/A session and heard exactly what I needed to hear. You said something about if the person you’re with inhibits your relationship with God, that’s a problem. That the one you spend your life with needs to support your growth and if that’s not happening, think again. I’ve got you, G. Together, we’ll carve new paths. Sister On, Lady.
With you in love….. prayers for continued warrior healing for you and your beautiful family. We can do hard things. I am so deeply sorry for the painful parts. May you all rise up strong and healthy and courageous and renewed. Big hugs.
I left too. And what followed was sad and scary and happy and lonely. But the happiness I’ve experienced and the happiness I’ve been able to give my two boys since has made it all worth it. We love you, G.
You are such a brave, strong, inspirational woman. I know we’ve never met, but you have given me strength when I would have otherwise fallen apart, through your books, your blog posts, tweets & Instagram. Warrior On, G. And know that your Army loves you.
Glennon,
My marriage has been in it’s winter season since last year. We are just now seeing the blooming of spring again. It’s been a tough year of learning about each other and mainly learning about myself. Learning the truth of myself. Your words have been such an inspiration to me during this time. This post just reinforces that. Thank you for being honest. Thank you for being true to yourself. Hugs and love to your entire family.
Your soul is strong and beautiful. Loving you and your family through this transition.
““To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees – these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I’m learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace.” – Brene Brown
Praying for your joy, gratitude and grace today, Glennon. You are worthy and you are loved.
love badly of what you saying…stand by you, fighting!!!
Sending you love and peace. Yes, sometimes we end our marriages because it’s the only way to save ourselves and our children. I’ll remind you that Love Wins if you keep reminding me. We CAN do the hard things. Praying for you.
SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOUR HEART, FOR YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY, AND FOR HEALING!!! You’re SO brave! See you on September 28th in Portlandia! We will hold space for you!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE, Beboldwithbuttonwillow a.ka. Melanie Graves
Love and prayers for you, Craig, and the kids. You are all love warriors!
Big hugs. Big love. ❤️
I’m so sad for you and Craig and your littles. ((Hugs)). You can do hard things, remember?
Of course I’m staying close!!
Hey Glennon, there are barely words. But you remain to me, even more so now, a woman of amazing courage, honesty, humility and love. Thank you for being so honest & so brace. Sending lots of love and prayers to you all right now. You’re enough. You matter. Love wins. Always. Take care.
Love you G!
You are the truest, bravest woman I have never actually met…and your courage in sharing your truth is awe inspiring. I am trying to be so brave, but truth, real truth, is terrifying. Please know you are loved and supported. All of you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Love you, Glennon, and all of your family! You and Craig did brave, brave work to move through these past few years. This is another brave step. Lots of love to you!
Your bravery and honesty are saving us all by causing us to consider, bit by bit, that maybe we can be brave and honest, too. And that if we were to try being brave and honest, maybe it wouldn’t be the end of us, but instead, a new beginning.
So much love! Thank you.
I love you, sister. You are not alone.
This resonates with me just now more than you can know. It is not easy to find an example of how to move through this from someone who’s been there, who is there, because most people won’t, can’t, be so open about it. Thank you for doing that. I don’t know how we will move through our particular troubled and ill-fitting marriage, but this gives me hope and courage that I don’t have to stay to be OK. If I listen to that Little Voice, I will be OK. No matter what it tells me. Or when. I just need to stop talking over it and telling it what I want it to say.
Thank you, thank you for your vulnerability and honesty–giving words to something so difficult to put words to. Still here for you, still love you, still (more than ever) grateful for you. Sister on!
I am a child of divorce. I have seen both sides. I am also a happy person, in a happy marriage with three children of a my own, with a whole and complete family. An amazing step-mother, a forgiving mother, and a devoted father. We are imperfect of course but love eachother, all of us, and you and your family will be too. You will all be alright. Your kids will be alright. You are brave and amazing for sharing.
Dear Glennon, I am holding space for all of you and loving all of you fiercely! LOVE WINS. XO
Standing with you, now and always. Thank you for your truth.
If we stay, some people will say, “how could you dare stay after ____”! And. If we leave, some people will say, “how could you leave and not forgive, blah, blah, blah.” It’s all their own story. I love that still small voice that knows, and does its best…and I have your back and your heart.
Such a beautiful comment. Glad you posted it.
Thank you for sharing your story. I too am in a marriage where we have both tried very hard to make things work, but just like you say above, I just don’t fit here anymore. I do feel as if staying in this situation will kill my soul, the best things about me that I’m just learning how to love are slowly dying. Reading your words have planted a seed of how to explain this to my husband. Good luck to you all, and thank you again for sharing. It helps knowing that there are others out there that just can’t stay, no matter how crazy it seems.
You are such a witness to light and love and trust. Thank you for being so brave to share. You truly truly inspire me.
G, I’m holding space for you.
A beautiful message all the while dealing with an incredibly difficult time. My heart is with you and your family. I have such admiration for your openness, your strength and your ability to set boundaries all the same. xoxo Glennon!
Sending you and all the Meltons all my love and prayers. You are so honest and beloved and brave and faithful. I am proud to be a Love Warrior right alongside you. xoxo.
You are incredibly authentic and inspiring. Raw vulnerability is true bravery … that which forges us onward, upward…soul ward. Your tribe is with you. You are supported. Thank you for honesty and trust with your readers.
Hugs to all of you! And way to be true to your heart.
Sending love and humble support during this difficult time. May you continue to heal and grow. Blessings.
You and your family are amazing and a constant inspiration. I’m so touched by your honesty and courage. Blessings to you all.
Glennon, just when I thought I could not possibly love and respect and admire you more than I already do, I find there’s room for even more. Thank you so much for your honesty and bravery. You have been the one person who has made me (at least sometimes) believe there might be some beauty in my own brokenness, and I needed your words today: “I am going to stand in front of you with my medicated little head held high and I am going to be so busted up and broken that the light is going to pour out of me like stained glass.” You are love and light pouring through stained glass indeed. You have lit up a lot of people’s worlds, including mine, and your light just seems to get brighter and brighter. Thank you.
Glennon,
Just over a year ago, I had to choose between my soul, my life, and my marriage. I too had committed that I would no longer ignore the knowing. Even so, it was a devastating choice to make. Holding space for you and your family today and everyday. You are not alone. There will be light.
B
Oh, Glennon. I know we’ve never met, I’ve never had the pleasure to put my arms around you in a loving embrace. I’ve never gotten to share tears of joy or pain with you, or hold your hand. BUT you – you are a gift to this world. You have brought water and milk and honey to a parched soul. You have helped break me open to see how I had closed myself up. The journey has been hard, painful, and truly brutiful. So brutiful I want to get a tattoo that says that because I’m learning – with SO MUCH HELP FROM YOU – to live through the pain and to see the beauty that laces every pain, the pain that laces every beauty.
I say all this to say that I am 110% here for you, with no judgement – just with love. Marriage is the most personal relationship, most personal experience, and I KNOW that nothing you do, or even could do, would be without the intention of love and truth. This is obviously the right next step for you, no matter what anyone else might or could think. You are brave, beautiful, strong, fierce, gentle, strong and a person that inspires me in every way. Warrior on sister. If you come to St. Louis, MO you are INVITED to my house for tea, hugs, tears, and all the love I have to give. I pray for your soul to be carried as gently and fiercely as you carry ours.
All I can think of is what a blessing you and Craig are to your children. If only all parents would sit down and write a new family mission statement so their children know how much they are loved and valued even though the family may look different going forward. Well done, Glennon and Craig, well done!
Oh, sweet lady. If you’ve taught me anything, it’s that we–YOU–are brave and strong and can do hard things. Praying for you and Craig your family as y’all find your knew (sometimes hard, sometimes uncomfortable, but always love-filled) normal. Like everyone has said–we are with you! I can’t wait to see you in Atlanta. So many ((HUGS)) and so much LOVE to you all!
Glennon, thank you for being so brave. And thank you for defending your husband. Now the most important thing is being true to your self and still remaining a strong family for your children. When parents are kind and loving to each other it is so much better for the children. I was the child of a hostile divorce and wish they were kind and loving to each other even though they were divorced. God Bless you and your new version of a whole family ❤️
You are not alone.
You are strong, you are brave, you are love. I pray that you feel God’s love for you and your family no matter what its shape or form. I know that you are so fully aware of how He is there for you through the good and bad. We the canaries are out here supporting you through. Thanks for always sharing your truth. Your community is here. You will all make it through. Hugs.
Sending hugs and love. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.
I’m so sorry, and yet not, because as you say it’s the soul worth saving over the marriage. In the end, that’s what will keep your love alive between you and Craig. Having gone through that same decision (I know it’s not a “choice”) several years ago, I know. And you put all of those years into just a few sentences:
“And by the way, success to me is not staying in a marriage — it’s staying in my own peace. At all costs. And so, even when it’s highly inconvenient – even when it feels CRAZY – I will listen to the voice, and I will obey it. And I will be messy and complicated – and I will show up anyway.”
I feel like that is the secret. Knowing you tried. And tried. And tried. But sometimes there is no way to stay. And the best for all is to separate. It’s not easy, but I know no one stronger and up for the work it takes to swim through these waves. Best of luck, and use your joists. 🙂 #sistering
Inspiring resiliency, your hand written letter signed by your family a true gift, announcing it now proves honesty is the basis on which any loving feeling rests and that its not about the “business”. Your family and especially your children will do well with both you and your husband at the helm and your children will know they are loved by both of you. – I am so sorry for the pain you are all dealing with but send you wishes of strength and more importantly calm… which you already have shown thar you have.
Blessings on your family for healing, love and support. Standing with you through this time. Love wins!!
Thank you for your courage and vulnerability, you give me hope. You’re amazing and you are so loved
Much love to you and Craig and your children. I am so proud of all of you! It is not easy to separate, certainly not easy to do it with love and grace. I applaud you & hug you & wish you strength and wisdom. <3
yes. I hear you. I’m sitting with you through this important time. you’re strong enough for even this – and there’s room for all of your emotions, ups and downs and new discoveries here. you’re so loved, and I’m SO PROUD of you.
our hearts are open to you always. thank you for being our sister. xoxoxo
So much love to you, G. Xoxo