I’m staring at this blank page and thinking: This is one of the most important things you’ll ever write. Be kind and brave, Glennon. Steady. Clear. Shameless. Gentle. True.
Pretend it’s just the two of us here in my kitchen. I’m making us chamomile tea. I pass a mug to you and ask you to sit down on the couch with me. You follow me into my family room and and we sit down and I look at you. I can see that you’re nervous because you’ve figured out I’m about to tell you something important. I quickly say: It’s okay. Everyone is healthy. All is well. We are all okay.
We are. And yet.
Craig and I are separating.
What happened? I am still looking for the words. While I am smack dab in the middle of the unfolding, here is my best explanation: As you’ll read in Love Warrior, Craig and I endured serious trauma a few years ago. We suffered. My God, we suffered. I was broken, just completely shattered. And then we healed. It was beautiful.
And this is what I learned: You can be shattered and then you can put yourself back together piece by piece.
But what can happen over time is this: You wake up one day and realize that you have put yourself back together completely differently. That you are whole, finally, and strong – but you are now a different shape, a different size. This sort of change — the change that occurs when you sit inside your own pain — it’s revolutionary. When you let yourself die, there is suddenly one day: new life. You are Different. New. And no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot fit into your old life anymore. You are like a snake trying to fit into old, dead skin, or a butterfly trying to crawl back into the cocoon, or new wine trying to pour itself back into an old wineskin. This new you is equal parts undeniable and terrifying.
Because you just do not fit. And suddenly you know that. And you have become a woman who doesn’t ignore her knowing. Who doesn’t pretend she doesn’t know. Because pretending makes you sick. And because you never promised yourself an easy life, but you did promise yourself a true one. You did promise – back when you were putting yourself back together – that you’d never betray you again.
And so one day you sit down with your beloved, wonderful, kind, brave, warrior husband and you look at him and you say: Honey. We have worked so hard, for so long. We have been warriors for each other and for our children and for this marriage. And yet. I don’t fit here anymore.
And your husband looks at you and, eventually through his tears, he says: Four years ago you gave me the most selfless love I’ve ever received. It healed me. And now I’m going to return that kind of love to you. The kind of love that only wants truth and wholeness and peace for each other.
For the next several weeks, you do nothing but cry and talk. Sometimes it feels like that’s all you ever do—because, it turns out, you have been grieving your marriage for years. But still, you cry and talk more. You close the bedroom door and sit on that bed and you talk. You talk about how hard you’ve worked together, how you stayed on your mats and didn’t run from each other. Since you didn’t run, you discovered together that fight or flight aren’t the only options. There is a third way: heal.
You talk about how broken you each were when you met, and how whole each of you is now. You say to him: You’ve been my healing partner. He says: And you have been mine. You talk about how you can forgive someone and love someone and at the very same time know that you cannot be with them anymore. You get more honest than you have ever, ever been before. You talk about how hard, how very brutal it’s all been for the two of you. Since day one. And you talk about how beautiful it’s been for the two of you. Since day one. There is a moment in every conversation when one of you says: My God, the kids – and neither of you can go on. That’s the black hole. Still is. I can’t write more about that right now. Someday. Not today.
You sit in a therapist’s waiting room to discuss how to handle this with as much peace as possible for the kids.
You sit with your children and you create a new family mission statement:
Then you help your soon-to-be-ex-husband-forever-life-partner move into a rented house a few doors down. You have family dinners, plan your family summer vacation together, and you look at each other and realize you’ve never loved each other more, bigger, truer.
And then you tell your team. You tell the people who are invested in your career. And hot damn, this is bad timing. There is fear and panic. Because you are about to launch the biggest project of your career, the book you finished a year ago, and so many have been working so hard for its release. And it’s all about your marriage. And the advice from many is: Wait, G. Just wait till after the book has launched to reveal this. This is a MARRIAGE book – you can’t break up before it even comes out! Glennon – it will affect sales. It will affect your career, your success.
And you will listen to this advice. And you will decide: No.
Like Mama T said: I was not called to be successful. I was called to be faithful.
I was called to be faithful to truth and vulnerability and to YOU. I never promised anybody I’d get it all right; I promised I’d keep showing up forever. Today. Whether I’m in the valley or on the mountaintop.
Please come close when I say this next part, it’s important: This next step is not a departure from the path of the Love Warrior. This next step is the fulfillment of it – for me, for my particular journey. Love Warrior is a book about self-trust. It’s a book about a woman who has painstakingly learned that there is a still, small voice guiding her through this brutiful life one next right thing at a time. And that the only thing she cannot do – not ever again – is betray that voice. Self-betrayal is allowing the fear voices to drown out the still, small voice that knows what to do and is always leading us home to ourselves and to truth and to love. Love is the boss of me, not fear, and certainly not “success.”
And by the way, success to me is not staying in a marriage — it’s staying in my own peace. At all costs. And so, even when it’s highly inconvenient – even when it feels CRAZY – I will listen to the voice, and I will obey it. And I will be messy and complicated – and I will show up anyway. Because I’ve fought too hard for my sobriety, sanity, integrity—and for your trust—to give it up now.
So I said to the team: We tell our people now.
And they said: Okay. Should we clear your schedule then? Revealing yourself in your writing about this is one thing, but do you want to be on stages with it? Won’t that feel too vulnerable?
And I thought about that for a while. Lord have mercy, cancelling the tour sounded good.
And I decided: No.
My family is here, now in two houses. But my family is also you.
I will not hide from you, not now. I will show up in your cities, in your churches and theaters and on stages and I will say: HERE I AM. A little busted up, but not destroyed. I will be at my weakest, but when we are weak, then we are strong. If I’m this weak, can you imagine how strong I’ll be? Damn.
Listen: Love is not a victory march. It’s a cold and it’s a broken hallelujah. So I might be cold and I might be broken but I am still gonna scream HALLELUJAH all over this country. I am going to stand in front of you with my medicated little head held high and I am going to be so busted up and broken that the light is going to pour out of me like stained glass. I know this.
Here’s what else I know: Some loves are perennials—they survive the winter and bloom again. Other loves are annuals—beautiful and lush and full for a season and then back to the earth to die and create richer soil for new life to grow. The eventual result of both types of plants is New Life.
New life. Nothing wasted. No failure. Love never fails. Never, never. Love is messy and beautiful and brutal – and Love is the whole point. So, I am not afraid, I was born to do this.
I’m asking you, please love me through this. Be my people. The world will have opinions and I need this Love Warrior Army. Please stay close.
Sister On, my beloveds. We can do hard things. We belong to each other. And LOVE WINS.
G
P.S. Since I publicly announced the trauma in my marriage four years ago, I have become a soft place to land for women in marriage trauma. I have listened to what kind of responses from people are helpful and which are hurtful. So many of us want to say and do the loving and supportive thing, but we sometimes don’t know what that looks like. So, with humility, love (and a healthy dose of defensiveness on behalf of my heart and the hearts of my warrior sisters), I offer the following thoughts:
If I don’t mention something, it’s not because I forgot to. It’s because I desperately have to find the balance here between honesty and a tell-all. Between transparency and responsibility. What I owe you and what I owe myself. There will be parts of this story I (try to) keep for myself and Craig and the kids. If you can, please resist assumptions, gossip, or asking for details I haven’t provided. I can tell you this: I feel defensive of Craig here. No one could have worked harder. There is no better father or man on earth. Craig is a hero. He is a Love Warrior. I am fiercely proud of him.
Try to avoid lamenting how sad it is that people “throw away their marriages these days.” Try not to generalize. I have met hundreds of divorced women who didn’t throw their marriages away. Most of us fight like hell for our marriages until we realize that we can either save our marriages or save our souls. So please, I’m not looking for advice. Just love and support.
Please don’t pretend to know what God thinks of us. Please think deeply about the chasm-wide difference between leaving a man and leaving God. Please remember that when a woman leaves, she just brings God with her. Nothing separates a woman or a family from God’s love. Not death, and certainly not divorce. Jesus taught us that sometimes death is necessary for there to be new life. And that God loves us far more than any institution God made for us. When someone suggests otherwise, it brings shame to us. But we won’t let that in. We are women who have become far too wise to believe in shame.
Sometimes, when people make decisions about marriage, it evokes strong feelings in others. If my news does that to you today, please look inside and get curious about whether those feelings have more to do with you and your life than they do about me and mine.
I will repeat this last one: Please stay close. I need you more than I’ve ever needed you.
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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I am also a train wreck, and I appreciate being in Glennon’s company!
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Hi,
I thank you for all your openness and vulnerability. I was able to relate to a lot of your experiences, especially around intimacy. Given that, does that mean my marriage isn’t the right fit for me either? I know everyone’s story and experiences are different, but should I feel differently about intimacy with my husband if it’s the right fit? I feel like such a failure and that I’ve done something wrong. I love my husband and don’t want to hurt anyone, but I also don’t want to feel exactly as you described your intimate times with your husband in Love Warrior. Please help!
Love never fails. Thanks for that. Thanks for your truth and vulnerability.
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sincerely i was so crushed when my husband of 12 years left me and moved to be with his mistress. The pain was just too much for me to bear seeing my husband being with another woman. I tried making peace with him but his mind was made up against me and the kids. I had to reach out to the internet to seek for help on how i can restored peace back to my marriage. where found some testimony about priest Adu how his powerful love spell brought happiness back to their marriage. I was convince that he can make impart to my life. I had to made a contact to him through his e-mail that was publish on the testimony [ solution.temple @mail. com ]
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This isn’t some amazing journey. Let’s not kid ourselves here. You are a shameless self promoter who capitalized on the pain and vulnerability of millions of women. You have no counseling degree, you are not a licensed therapist yet you published a first person narrative that is being held up as a roadmap for women everywhere. You convince them that the world has beaten them down and society and the patriarchy and religion and relationships are all holding them back and then you sell them a roadmap to smashing them all – to do hard things. Sometimes doing hard things is not throwing in the towel and leaving a relationship just because you want to have a magical moment like glennon. You know as well as everyone else does that your novel wouldn’t have sold as much had it not been about a lesbian relationship. Had you not connected with Abby Wambach. – the media eats that up. It sells books. You are a good writer that’s for sure, but have just a shred of decency an ounce of humility and admit that you are not an expert. Let your readers know that this was your story and your story alone and no one should use it as a self help book – because you my dear are simply a train wreck of a person who happens to be a good writer and that is all. Stop trying to become a self help guru because you are actually doing more harm than good.
Wow. Let she who throws the first stone…..
I am also a train wreck, and I appreciate being in Glennon’s company!
From my point of view, these are Glennon’s memoires to date and if you can relate to her in anyway or gleam a bit of hope or guidance, that is great; if not, leave the rest of us alone.
Respectfully, Fiona
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I had a fight with my husband and he left me without coming home for months.. he left without even saying why he did. months later i got to know he was seeing a lady in the next city. ….
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This post made me cry so hard, I felt completely connected with every word you said and I so agree about people’s general vision of marriage and divorce and how sometimes people make generalizations that destroys us woman who are struggling with ending a marriage. I’m going thru a marriage breakup right now and is been so far the hardest time of my life.
I’m just seeing this months later! Thank you so much for your response. I’m so grateful when I hear about other modern families that are making it work and still get along.
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Nothing is more awesome than abandoning your husband and making a mockery of your marriage vows. Congratulations on being a selfish, narcissistic monster.
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All these people with crazy idea o n how to get an ex back. Why would anyone want their ex back? They are ex for a reason. If you have to beg someone back or manipulate someone back, what’s the point? Who wants that?
I keep having to explain to people that marriage is not the end all be all of success in life. And life doesn’t cease to exist without it. Nor does faith. We love again, we grow, we learn, and discover treasures at a depth we wouldn’t have learned any other way.
Glennon you are amazing and I love every word you’ve written over the years.
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New Family is what I call it; my two teenage boys were 5 and 7 when their dad and I divorced for similar reasons to what you write about. I love him deeply and he has grown tons, remarried, and we have coparented in ways led by our hearts with the health of the boys I’m the forefront. Feels “unusual” at times, but rewarding. The boys are tremendous people, and I think letting go of what we think life should look like in favor of connecting in the moment.
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i am very thankful to Dr. Bolingo for the great work he has done for me & my family. I was married 19 years until a woman came along and destroyed my marriage & my family. The last few years was sad for me without my husband. I’m very thankful & grateful to Dr. Bolingo. since he did the work for me, my husband came back to me & our children, asking us to forgive him. Before Dr. Bolingo’s work my husband hated me. Before my husband came back I was very down, frustrated & lonely. The other woman was always in the way. Dr. Bolingo revealed to me that this woman was keeping my husband away and she was even causing me to be sick. I found Dr. Bolingo by recommendation of a friend. at first i wasn’t sure because I doubted the spell casting. That lady spell on my husband was to keep him for herself only. 2 days after Dr. Bolingo cast his spell my husband was with me. My husband tells me & shows me everyday how much he loves me and all thanks to Dr. Bolingo. We even have great money success. My life I thought was over is now happy life with my husband and our children. Please if you having big problems like I had or even divorce, contact Dr. Bolingo immediately. He will change your life forever & the best part is that his work don’t harm anyone. Contact him immediately through his email: bolingospelltemple @ gmail .com contact him now and your problems will be solved forever. Thank you for your great work Dr Bolingo
Website:
I am a loving mother of two,i want to thank Dr Mack for bringing my husband back, if you have any relationship problem, you can report it to him reach him on this email…Dr_mack @ y ahoo. com,,,,THANK YOU!!!!! ✝️
I am sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, I am from Spain, i want you all to know that their is one man called dr_mack@ {{yahoo}}. com ???????? that work for me and after 2days of his spell cast, my ex came back to me without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same help of Dr. Mack so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you have with your ex come true just Here is his contact e-mail if you need help Dr_mack he will put smile on you face and make you happy again ????
HOW I GOT MY LOVELY Ex WIFE BACK WITH THE HELP OF Dr. MACK) I am sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, I am from Spain, i want you all to know that their is one man called, dr_mack @ [ yahoo ]. com that work for me and after 2days of his spell cast, my ex came back to me without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same help of Dr. Richie so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you have with your ex come true just Here is his contact e-mail if you need help dr_mack he will put smile on you face and make you happy again,,,.
HOW I GOT MY LOVELY Ex WIFE BACK WITH THE HELP OF Dr. MACK) I am sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, I am from Spain, i want you all to know that their is one man called Dr Richie, dr_mack @ [ yahoo ]. com that work for me and after 2days of his spell cast, my ex came back to me without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same help of Dr. Richie so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you have with your ex come true just Here is his contact e-mail if you need help dr_mack he will put smile on you face and make you happy again.
I had a fight with my husband and he left me without coming home for months.. he left without even saying why he did. months later i got to know he was seeing a lady in the next city. I got so angry I went to his work place to confront him buh he didn’t even let me come in.. I got so frustrated i had to talk to a friend who introduced me to lord baraka. He did a spell that brought my husband back within 48hours. I could’t believe my eyes. If you have issues with your relationship, health issues or you have problem with fertility, you can reach lord baraka on his email:lordbaraka008@gmail. com or website:barakasolutiontemple.home.blog and he will be there to help you. thanks!
I was searching for help on the internet to get my ex husband back after he divorced me 5 months ago and i came across so many testimonies from different people and they are all talking about this wonderful man called Doctor Kasee on how he help them to save their marriage and relationships and i also contact him on his email (onimalovespell @gmail. com) and explain my problem to him and he did a nice job by helping me to get my divorced husband back within 48hours.. I never believe that such things like this can be possible but now i am a living testimony to it because Doctor Kasee actually brought my lover back, If you are having any relationship problems why not contact Doctor Kasee for help via email: onimalovespell @gmail. com . Then i promise you that after 48hours you will have reasons to celebrate like me.
Your post is very good and meaningful. How long will it take you to write and post? thank you for sharing
Contact Dr Raypower at urgentspellcast@gmail. com if you want to get your Husband, Wife, Boyfriend and Girlfriend back now and regain your happiness.pot.com/
This post made me cry so hard, I felt completely connected with every word you said and I so agree about people’s general vision of marriage and divorce and how sometimes people make generalizations that destroys us woman who are struggling with ending a marriage. I’m going thru a marriage breakup right now and is been so far the hardest time of my life. I think you are a brave woman and you have inspired me to fight for my dreams post marriage.
I have always thought it was impossible for me to get a boyfriend of my own being a guy myself but after i met Dr Ojoka my life change for the better and the peron i use to have a crush on he helped me perform a spell[ritual} that made him fall in love with me and since then for the first time in my life i an finally happy and begin to feel like i belong to this world to also get help from this great man email at dr.ojokaspelltemple@gmail. com or WhatsApp him +2348144172934 and let him help you get your relationship back or make someone fall in love with you no matter the gender.There is hope for us after all no matter how the world may see us or look at us do not be shy try him today and let your life change for the better Beware Of Scams
You came to my church a while ago. I read your Carry
On book then. I just finished Love Warrior. While reading it I was angered by how the church tried to push you, but not surprised. I googled you to see what else you have been up too. I missed you twice at Mars Hills, hope you have another visit soon. I love your writting and Happy for you and your whole family.
]My Ex-Husband IS back with the help of dr_mack@ yahoo. com[…]
All thanks to _____________Dr_mack@ yahoo. com) for the love spell done that brought my divorce wife back home
9071 Center Street
Brutiful…absolutely soul touchingly brutiful. So in awe to have found you yesterday, thanks to a pvr’d Super Soul Sunday.
Write on, beautiful sister, right on…
sharing my testimony to everyone that has tried everything possible and had lost hope on how they can get their ex back, I am from Spain, i want you all to know that their is one man called dr_mack @ {{yahoo}}. com ???????? that work for me and after 2days of his spell cast, my ex came back to me without any delay, i am really happy now that we are together again and we are living happily with so much love and respect for each other, so i will advise everyone to ask for this same help of Dr. Mack so that you can be happy again and make your dreams and wishes you have with your ex come true just Here is his contact e-mail if you need help Dr_mack he will put smile on you face and make you happy again ???? YAAAAAAS I am so happy
Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back! contact:_________________________________________Robinson.buckler@ { yahoo } . com
I have always promise to recommend you to the people out there who might also need your help, because finding his Email was a God sent to me. Even better, Dr Robinson you’re truly a great helper. I was so down after being loveless for almost five years. I requested a reuniting love spell and amazingly, it worked for me without any cost or any side effect. Am happily living with the most lovely man alive and that is what i have being praying for. Thanking you Dr Robinson would not be enough, considering what you have done for me, so I to share this testimony of your hand work to the whole world, to know about your good work for me. You can Contact this man for any relationship issues and he will also be of help to you too, Contact he via his Email: Robinson.buckler [@] yahoo [.com] !!
Michelle Konstantinovsky
Whore
Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back! contact:________Robinson.buckler@ { yahoo } . com ……………….
Glennon, after knowing about you for almost a year, I just recently felt called to read your book and start following your story. I sit here in tears writing this. I’m not quite sure where the tears are coming from – whether from a place of pain, joy, relief, or inspiration – but they’re rolling down my cheeks in gratitude for finding you. I am recently divorced, from a man who, after a rock bottom for both of us, has proven to be one of the strongest, most loving, most forgiving men I’ve ever known. And yet, I struggle to understand why I just can’t be with him. I can’t explain it, I just know deep in my core, that I can’t. Not now. Not with the person I have become and am still becoming. And while I tell my kids “we are still family…just redesigned”, and still have dinners together, I feel torn because this isn’t the norm for divorced families. Aren’t we supposed to be completely separate? Your story gives me hope. Hope that we can all be warriors. We can do this right for our kids, even when we aren’t your typical family…or even your typical divorced family. Thank you. Your words speak so much to me, in so many ways. Thank you.
Julie,
Modern Family is what I call it; my two teenage boys were 5 and 7 when their dad and I divorced for similar reasons to what you write about. I love him deeply and he has grown tons, remarried, and we have coparented in ways led by our hearts with the health of the boys I’m the forefront. Feels “unusual” at times, but rewarding. The boys are tremendous people, and I think letting go of what we think life should look like in favor of connecting in the moment is the key.
❤️Staci
Stacy, I’m just seeing this months later! Thank you so much for your response. I’m so grateful when I hear about other modern families that are making it work and still get along. Your family gives me hope too. I hope my family can continue to move forward with humility, compassion, and understanding for each other even as we enter new stages of our lives – with potential new family members, new schedules, life situations, etc. Lots of love and blessings to you!
Thank you, Julie . You couldn’t have said I how feel better. And THANK YOU GLENNON ! I am not divorced, but feel like what both of you are sharing is exactly how I feel and reading these stories are inspiring me as they make me feel validated. I felt so alone in my struggle of feeling like while I’m with the most loyal, giving, selfless, loving man, but just don’t feel fulfilled. Thank you for helping me feel like I’m not crazy and this will all be okay. Thank you so much.
Misha, thank you so much for sharing. It gives me so much hope to hear stories like ours. I always thought someone was wrong with me. Why can’t I just love this person the way he wants me to love him? But I think sometimes God tells us what is right for us, and we don’t necessarily need to know the reason why right away. It will be revealed. Lots of love and blessings to you!
❤️ you’re not alone, sister
Thank you Chris.
How i got back my lover after many years of search at the help of Dr Robinson his Email:_______Robinson.buckler [@] yahoo [ .com ] !!
Glennon- I just stumbled upon YOU and your blog, and your beautiful heart by way of the interview with Elizabeth Gilbert almost two years ago now. My heart is weeping for you, but not from the sadness of separation and divorce, but that in your attempts to be authentic, brave, and broken open you had to go thru one of the happiest times and the saddest times AT THE SAME TIME. All I can say, is that YOU are brilliant and beautiful and I’m truly grateful for your words here that have literally changed the atmosphere. My hearts prayer is that now in 2018 you are walking head held high knowing that you are doing a GOOD work and I hope you feel the encouragement. All the love sister friend <3
Hey fantastic website! Doess running a blog like this require a lott of work?
I’ve very little understanding of programming but I was
hoping to start my own blog soon. Anyhow, iif you have any suggestions or techniques ffor new blog owners ppease share.
I understand this is off subject however I simply needed to ask.
Appreciate it!
My daughter just gave me the book Carry On , Warrior.
I had not heard of you before this and I feel like we’re kindred spirits! I started a blog on Thanksgiving and was amazed at some of our matching themes.
I can’t wait to read Love Warrior. I was divorced in June from a man I still love and adore. I still can’t wrap my brain around it and we are trying to figure out the new “us” that still loves and cares for each other. I’m sure Love Warrior will be an invaluable read!!
Warrior on, new friend!!
Hi Angela,
What’s your blog called?
I bawled my way through your book. It spoke to me on such a personal level. I, too, was married to a man who was unfaithful and we fought like hell to get through it. I know your pain. And I know that we have to piece ourselves together when it’s over. I am a completely different shape, but we still fit together. He has had to accept that the girl he married all those years ago is no more and will never return. What i am now is more bold, honest, brave and accepting of those around me. My hardest trial has become my greatest blessing as weird as that sounds. Thank you for sharing. May you have a life of joy and downright uncomfortable honestly!
Glennon, I finished reading your book and then this blog. I will keep it simple. You have opened my eyes to so many things I guess I already knew but would not admit. Thank you for your courage to speak about it and share with me. I’m more aware now and I appreciate that. Stay true to you and let God guide you and you will be in my prayers. God bless