Glennon, your honesty is refreshing and needed. It helps me feel like I can be myself and say my truth too. I’m wishing you peace and strength for this part of your journey.

I TOTALLY get it. TOTALLY. I was married for 18 years and my now ex cheated on me the entire time we were married. After catching him 10 years ago (with what I thought was the first time) I forgave. And broke into pieces. We went to counseling. Then he cheated again. I forgave some more. And broke into tiny little pieces the longer time went on and the more women showed up in my marriage. I decided to save my soul on March 10, 2013.

I GET IT. After you heal and you look at your spouse through the healed vision you now have, you can not love them the same way you did before the betrayal. It’s simply not possible. Why? Because that woman DOES NOT EXIST. She’s broken. Healed. Surviving. Then thriving. Oh, I wish so many could understand how HARD it is to stay in a marriage AFTER the betrayal has happened and then the healing begins. I often told my ex when he would ask me if I still loved him, “I don’t love you the way a woman loves a husband. I used to but I don’t any more.”

This kind of betrayal either makes you or breaks you. And it broke me into a million pieces. And I am thankful for the pain I lived through. I am GLAD that I walked through it and continue to walk through it each and every day because I know at the end of MY journey, I won’t be broken any longer and will be able to replenish my wells of love for those who are hurting and in pain around me, and will able to give back deeper and stronger than ever.

I wish you nothing but God’s love, the healing balm of the Holy Spirit, and may God allow your journey at this stage in your life to be the best one to date. Much love to you, Sister Glennon. You’ve got this.

The way I feel after reading the book, Love warrior, and then this post is lost and confused. Reading the book made me feel like, ” may be humans are capable to fogive and love and be selfless and be able to find a way against the 2nd law of thermodynamics to hold on to things rather than separate and run away from things that hurt us”. After reading this post I feel like the author is not capable of the above but that does not mean no one is. My understanding is that the author let her husband stand by her side to help her heal through the heartbreak he had caused. But as soon as she felt healed, successful and no longer needing her husband, she decided to cut off the part of her family that reminded her of the pain and hurt she once had to live and heal through. This act to me is a representation of our selfish side as human beings, but I am hopeful that there are/will be those who can break out of the selfishness that is so deeply ingrained in us. I am not sure about the author being a love warrior; I think she is an ordinary sensitive being who had to face extraordinary circumstances. To me you are a survivor in terms of your marriage.

Thank you for your words, Glennon–both in this blog as well as your books (I devoured Love Warrior in a few short hours). Your book increased my love of God which is perhaps the highest compliment I could give. Thank you!

A bad marriage is not inherently better than a good divorce. Children are hurt in both circumstances, but what lesson do they learn from each?  What is the motivation for staying in a bad marriage? For some, it is honoring a commitment, which is of course the ideal, if you are actually working to make it better, not just a long-suffering victim. But for others, it is being too afraid of change.  It is not easier to walk away, alone (potentially for the rest of your life), judgemental people all around, no idea what to do next, no path to follow, perhaps no job. For many, staying is actually easier – you may not be happy but you know what to expect, you have financial security, you’ve already learned how to cope, you just have to put one foot in front of the other. That is often why so many people live in unhappy marriages for years; it is easier than the unknown.
Whether you stay or go, the hardest part is always just telling the truth, the whole truth. We can all fight about the small and petty things. But we are too afraid to tell the other our true feelings, afraid of the consequences, of having to actually make a choice instead of just letting life happen to us. So, it is hard to stay and be happy and honest, and it is hard to go and face the unknown without bitterness, but rather with a peaceful, loving heart. Both situations require forgiveness and faith.
Sadly, many people wish to use the Bible as a battering ram to make others feel guilty for being flawed human beings, but somehow don’t recognize when they choose to selectively apply it to themselves. Most of us don’t need your help to feel terrible and full of guilt. Luckily for us, God sees our failure as equal to your gossiping, gluttony, pride, anger, or materialism, among so many other faults. The theme of the New Testament is love and forgiveness. Let us all try to keep that in mind.

I just read your book and came here to re-read this post. I just want to say thank you for your honesty. You are so much stronger than you ever knew and I – for one- love you for it. Thank you for sharing your story, for being a warrior and for showing me a different way. I am forever grateful for you.

I will skip over the condolences, words of support and keep doing you praise (you got all of that in spades from me)….. right to your next book…… Something about managing a family with love after separation/divorce. After a a childhood and yes, adulthood….. 34 years of parents who couldn’t be in the same room….. birthdays, basketball games, National Honor Society induction, prom, high school graduation, college graduation, weddings, christenings….. Your love and truth would be so encouraging to others navigating the post separation, divorce period. Glennon, it could change the game for precious babies everywhere who get turned into rope with a parent at each end when their Mommies and Daddies decide not to be married anymore. Just think about. You are amazing. Truly. Deeply. Madly. 😉

Glennon- stayed up very late last night reading your new book and this morning read your blog post, “I Need to Tell You Something”. I can’t express enough how much I appreciate your raw honesty as you tell your story. No judgement here, just gratitude for your courage, talent and example. Thank you. -C

I am sorry people are not always kind. We see ourselves or our loves reflected in others actions and we remember how we/our loves actions hurt us. The hurtful are saying “I was hurt, I am fearful, why would you hurt me again?” Just know it isn’t you they are speaking to. It is themselves, it is their loves, you just are a mirror right now. Carry on, you warrior mirror.

Glennon- I need to tell YOU something. I have been a fan of yours, but as a child of divorce, seeing that contract with the kids’ signatures made me feel sick to my stomach. What a bunch of B.S. I have experienced divorce personally and, as someone who works with children, have seen dozens and dozens of divorces play out over the years in front of my eyes.
Here is the brutal truth: A decision to divorce is a decision to put an adult’s right to happiness ahead of a child’s. It’s that simple, and the only exception is in cases of abuse (of all kinds.) The whole “we are still a family and we still all love each other and will take care of each other” stuff is pure make-believe and the kids will feel it keenly. Of course, now that they have “signed the contract” they will probably feel like they can’t even express what they really feel because it will make Mom/Dad sad or uncomfortable and create fresh guilt in the children. (Because- another fun fact about divorce- kids pretty much always own part of the guilt, no matter how many times Mom and Dad say it isn’t their fault.)
Poor kids- my heart breaks for you. Welcome to the “Kids of Divorce- it SUCKS! Club.” Welcome to navigating an emotional minefield, guilt-ridden holidays and events (should I invite Dad? Well, Mom says I should but I can tell she doesn’t REALLY want me to. But if I don’t Dad will be sad…), and miserable introductions to Mom and Dad’s future boyfriends/girlfriends. Nothing aches like wanting both of your parents and only getting to have one at a time.
Of course, many divorced parents console themselves that the kids will be fine. That THEY are better than average parents, and THEY will do divorce better than the rest of America. (I haven’t seen one yet that hit that mark. Divorce is a tearing apart and it doesn’t allow for neat edges.)
Of course, the kids may appear to do just fine. I certainly did. We kids of divorce learn quickly to be tough and hide our feelings. We achieve and grow up to do great things. People are incredibly resilient. But kids of divorce will forever be wounded. They will forever carry a burden that should have been carried by their parents. They will forever come from a BROKEN HOME (with cracks and wreckage that no sham “family contract” can cover up) and will have to deal with that brokenness for the rest of their lives.
And truly, if the content of that contract is REAL then why is anyone leaving? Give me a break.
Glennon, you and Craig do what you have to do. But PLEASE don’t ask your kids to put on masks and be part of the charade. That contract is unfair and while I understand the good intentions behind it, it is unhealthy to ask your children to sign off on the destruction of life as they know it (and wish it.)

I shouldn’t have read the comments.

Listen, I know there are a lot of people questioning Glennon’s choices and life and illness and marketing strategies. And here’s what I think.

If Glennon is telling the truth, power to her. She’s living authentically and finding peace with herself.

If she’s not telling the whole truth or exaggerating or finding “another addiction,” here’s what I think: it doesn’t matter. It does not change her message. I see so many honest people changed and seeking healing because Glenon tells this story, truth or fiction. I am changing and healing because of this story. I see myself in the words of these blog posts and the words of her books. And I see hope. And community. And those are things that WE NEED. Those are things that I need. So even if it’s a lie or exaggeration (though I don’t think it is), I will continue to use this story and these words as a springboard for MY self-understanding and self-healing.

Finding this website and these books have opened the door for me and others to graduate to a higher plane of self understanding and existence, and I am grateful for her words.

Hello Glennon,
I just read and felt each of the words in your book. Thank you for your honesty and bravery.
Thank you for truth telling. You’ve inspired me to get even more real with my forthcoming book.

Hello other comment posters.
Only Glennon knows her true ‘intention’ with her books and her posts. It’s not our role to interpret or judge that intention just merely receive it and ask ourselves what that means for us. I understand it’s hard to reserve such judgement when a post such as this triggers our own beliefs and the safe way we survive in the world.

Love to all

You have got to be kidding me. This woman is as fake as they come. The woman is a self described alcoholic, drug addict, bulimic, and her mental issues that she also self describes as anxiety and depression are probably just sugar coating her true mental illness which is probably more along the lines of bi polar disorder judging by the way she describes them.

She’s just one more example of some messed up woman in middle age who has no prospects to make any real money, and her husband has been running around behind her back probably with much younger women. So she has, like so many messed up reality tv show people have done before her, taken her whole circus of a messed up life and is trying to market it so she can get into the reality show business, or get some other type of job in the entertainment industry. Either way she wants to market her train wreck of a life and turn it into cash and celebrity status.

She’s too old to find herself a rich man to marry and keep her and her current husband already lost interest in her enough that he was cheating on her, probably with women half her age. She’s the typical middle aged woman who has lost her youth, and is trying desperately to appear to be an attractive 20 something, and failing miserably, when she looks at least 50. So since she can’t use her looks to get what she wants, she’s going to use her messed up life to get it. Women like her were once called gold diggers, now they’re called real housewives of ( insert town name here).

First off let me say I both offer condolences for your troubles and applause for your successes, however Scott Dyk does raise an interesting point about the self centered nature of your writing here Glennon. You go into such detail about all the struggles you’ve had during your life such as your addiction, bulimia, depression, anxiety, drugs, and simmering resentments and discomfort with physical intimacy. Then you also make sure to mention a porn habit your husband had, and his infidelity. According to you the 2 of you went through counseling and healed and got through it all and became warriors for each other. Obviously your husband, at least according to you stopped whatever destructive behavior in the marriage he was engaging and recommitted himself body, heart, and soul to your marriage. You suggest that you did the same.

Here’s where your story takes a decidedly different turn. After having achieved what you have described as a victory in saving your marriage, now you have decided that all that work to save your marriage, that you seemed to have wanted so badly, and that you must have promised your husband you would do as long as he promised the same, which he apparently did, you have chosen now to arbitrarily end your marriage. Your reasons for this are vague to say the least. You claim to still love your husband, but that now you have decided you are a different person. Too different it would see to continue a marriage that you just wasted so much time, and your husbands time as well, trying to save. I don’t condone infidelity, no matter who engages in it. That was definitely wrong on his part, but you were no angel either. Your issues were severe, as you have described them. In light of that your husband must have had a very tough time being your husband just as you no doubt had a tough time being his wife. Marriages go through rough times as a general rule, but yours was dysfunctional on a much deeper level and for many more reasons than most other people’s marriages by far.

While your husband has, according to your writing, improved greatly and really refocused and recommitted to you, the marriage and the family, he now has the added burden of have his whole dysfunctional marriage written about for everyone to see. All of the most painful parts of his marriage to you are broadcast to the world all because you have arbitrarily chosen for your own healing process to do so with little or no regard to how he might feel about it. You have said that he has agreed to it, but ask yourself these very important questions. 1). Has he only given consent to it because he truly loves you and knows you need this in order to heal and that you need the attention and validation from others in order to feel good about yourself and not feel as if you are just as much responsible for the failure of your marriage as he is? 2). Has he given his consent out of the guilt he might feel for the wrongs he’s committed in the relationship and feels this is justified for you to air all of the dirty laundry? Or 3). He has not given consent in any formal way but resigned himself to the fact that you will write all of this with or without his consent no matter how he may feel about it because you need to air all of your dirty laundry, his mistakes and all you have went through in order to get the sympathy and attention you seem to crave so much?

The other point that Suzanne made on August 5, 2016 is valid to. Here’s the part of her post I am referencing:

“I understand Glennon’s appeal, and I have liked several of her posts over the years. However, at times her message seems off to me, and this new post has helped me to understand why.

First, people who make a living from writing so intimately about their family in real time forfeit their children’s privacy in a way to which no minor child can adequately consent . (They forfeit their spouses’ privacy, too, but adults can be better expected to evaluate and voice their concerns .) Second, a body of secular, well-conducted, longitudinal research shows that even “good” divorce is usually devastating to children. While divorce may still be necessary, or the better of two choices, to encourage children to sign a happy new family agreement that claims “we will always be a family” is grossly insensitive to the fact that there IS a significant sense of loss for children of divorce. To then share that agreement, with their signatures, with the world is to force them to take adult ownership of decisions that were not theirs to make. Some of the children I’ve seen weather divorce the best were the ones who were allowed to be angry as hell about it.”

She brings up a very important point that you Glennon don’t seem to be making much consideration about. That being how will Tish, Amma and Chase feel about all of this. Judging by your blog posts they are all still young yet and haven’t really got to the teenager point in their life where they will be forming their own ideas about how relationships should work. Children’s first model of how romantic relationships and marriages, and even what it means to be a parent come from their own parents and what they see of their interactions. The behavior you Glennon are showing through this over sharing of all the truly painful parts of your marriage is bound to have a very negative long term impact on your children. Maybe one or 2 of them might understand, but chances are, if one were to play the odds, that one of your children will not understand mommy’s need to seek attention and recognition by airing the family dirty laundry for all to read. Also considering not just your writing about all of the deeply personal material that concerns everyone in your family not just yourself, but your choice to leave anyway after you stress so vehemently how much your faith and your yourself felt working to save your marriage was the right thing to do only to up decide to leave your husband disregarding and throwing away all the hard work you and your husband put into saving the marriage,

What lesson does that teach your children? That its not ok for daddy to cheat and whatever else he was doing, which is true, and that he should stop being selfish and remember that he has a wife and family that love and need him and that he should recommit to his forever life of marriage with you and put 200% effort into saving it, but as soon as mommy feels she’s changed too much to be with daddy that its ok for her to walk away and selfishly and self-centeredly focus on her own needs and wants regardless of the faith you claim to have and that you have no doubt taught your children that paints that kind of selfishness as wrong?

Yes Glennon, your blog, and your books, are really just about you, your needs, your desires, your struggles, and your need for validation and recognition. None of what you have posted or written that I have seen has been much about anyone’s needs or journey but your own. Even your kids don’t come across as more important that your own needs and wants in regard to your arbitrary and selfish choice to end your marriage. Sorry to be so harsh, but if its absolution you’re looking for, take it to God. If its validation you’re looking for, try getting it from your husband, who has apparently wasted all his time and effort trying to work with you to save your marriage, when you weren’t going to stay with him anyway.

In light of your choice to leave your husband, and your very selfish need to write down and publish all your dirty laundry not seeming to care who in your family it might hurt either now or later, you don’t come across as a warrior, you come across as an opportunist, who has chosen to take her own dysfunctionality and that of her husbands and use it to get your 15 minutes, or more if you can, of fame. I feel for your children, I really do. They more than anyone will pay the highest price not just for your selfish choice to leave their father, but to callously put it all out there for people to find and one day make fun of them for it. Once other kids learn that Mommy was an alcoholic, bulimic, drug abuser, and daddy cheated and had some kind of porn habit, they will pay a heavy price in terms of the bullying they will most likely receive, and you Glennon will share responsibility for the pain they will have to endure. I honestly hope your fame and recognition are enough to compensate for that damage you are causing, and that you can live with that. If I was in your shoes I would be putting my kids first and even if divorce was the only option, I sure wouldn’t be airing the family pain on line and in books as well as any other media format for all to see. Good luck, I hope your children are truly the understanding and forgiving types, not only now but when they reach teenage years and adulthood.

Thank you, brave Warrior. I devoured Love Warrior in the last two days. Thank you for sharing your heart. It means the world to me.

I like your closing comments, people are very quick to broad brush divorce, especially in the church.

However, everything I read is self-centered, it seems the one area where you depart from the Bible, and it’s quite strange.
‘Most of us fight like hell for our marriages until we realize that we can either save our marriages or save our souls.’ Very confusing, we don’t save our souls. And if we believe God puts us in a place where it’s either our marriage or our soul, one or the other, then he’s simply god, and we have made him too small, and made it all about us.

I am not saying you should stay in your marriage, I cannot possibly speak to that. It is just odd to hear such statements of wisdom and understanding about Jesus, combined with so much about self. The comments many of your readers made also reflect this self-centered attitude, and it makes sense for those who don’t love Jesus, especially if they have not been treated well. If God isn’t the center, I understand that I would (and I still do, constantly) make myself the center. Again, the divorce I cannot speak to, it’s the ‘self’ that this whole post centers around that doesn’t ring true with the beliefs you state.

I just read the article in the Washington Post. I have been going through a really dark period in my life and you have given me hope. I have been so depressed lately and hurting inside. I thought is was just me. I retreat to FB for updates on friends as well as seeking support. But, I find myself reading others’ posts about how perfect their life is. For some, maybe that is true. For others, it could be a cover up. I will review your books and see which one to buy first. I think this will provide me with much needed insight as well as inspiration. Thank you.

I imagine these are difficult days for you. Thank you for the light you bring into the world. You matter, and are making a positive difference. Hold fast to that when moments are unbearable.

Glennon,
You are a GEM! Gobs of love and peace from me to you.
July

G- if my mom hadn’t been brave and preserved herself and her voice.. I wouldn’t have had that example. Living your truth benefits your children in ways you and they won’t know for a long time.
Love wins in all forms

Please remember that when a woman leaves, she just brings God with her. Nothing separates a woman or a family from God’s love. Not death, and certainly not divorce. Jesus taught us that sometimes death is necessary for there to be new life.
Yes, and Amen! As a Christian woman married to a Pastor who was not faithful, but stayed 7 more years because she thought it was what God required of her, then learned HE had never asked her to do so- right on. I take no offense with God, or my fellow believers (they are just misinformed) – the mess was in my head. But how freeing it is to realize God values me and my mess. And that He is right here with me on my new journey. Thank you for being brave and transparent. Your voice is needed.

So sorry I missed your visit to Montreat, NC- hopefully next time!

This is just a note to say, I hear you and I see you. The heart of your message shines through in Love Warrior and in your writing here. Your journey and insight, your experience of grace and gospel, are lighting up the world. Nothing in the news of this post is in tension with the wisdom journey you shared with us in your extraordinary book. We see that. Thank you for modeling the journey of the love warrior with such integrity. I hope I can someday be as brave and kind as you. Thank you for showing up with us all over the country even in the ‘during.’

The most beautiful and perfect post. Just thank you. <3

It is very brave to share your story. And obviously it has created a bit of a fire storm, and got people talking about this subject. So important!. I would love to understand better what parts of you did not fit anymore after you did all the work to heal yourself as well as your marriage, and your ex did his part a well, so it seemed, to heal. Would you be able to speak to that?

Glennon, you do not know me, and yet sometimes I feel like we are best friends who haven’t met yet.

When I first read this post, I thought to myself that it all sounded so painful for you. It was also painful for me, and I knew it wasn’t only empathy that made me feel that way. I had to leave it, to not comment, because what could I say? How could one stranger saying that I am sorry you are in pain mean anything at all?

I read your book last night and this morning. Thank you for sharing your pain and your journey. I understand now that this post was painful for me because I am still running away from pain. I want my marriage and my man and my family more than anything, but I see now that I also want myself and I have no idea what that even means. I have been hiding from pain since before I had words. I know that I was hiding from pain in utero, not even understanding the fear chemicals coursing through my body as their coursed through my mother’s. Pain has walked at my side from the beginning, and I have steadfastly turned my head to avoid seeing it. When we collide I pull back as fast as I can, trying to get the distance back.

But oh, I have a child, a son who is feeling pain and hiding from it, and I know I can’t hide anymore, because if I do then he has to as well. I know this, because as much as my oldest is me, so is this youngest, perhaps more than I ever knew. He is a canary, just as I was and am. But he hasn’t turned to cutting himself, denying himself food until he is dangerously thin, and later figuring out how to eat and purge, and then finally, just how to eat and bury the pain and shame of weight. He doesn’t use perfectionism as a shield against pain. All of his anger and fear and pain is turning inward, and it scares me to death … or perhaps to life.

Thank you. Even as a stranger I realize that I can say that I am sorry that you are in pain. I am sorry that you are in pain! I won’t try to say anything to deflect, minimize, or fix it. I’m sorry that it hurts. I am so proud of you for choosing to run toward pain and accept the lessons it has to offer. You truly are a love warrior.

Much, much, much love to you and your family. Thank you for sharing, for listening inside, for inspiring me and others to do the same. You and your work are a gift.

I pulled your book out of my mailbox at 8 this morning and just read this post as the Afterword. The one in the book was beautiful; the one on this blog was brave. I couldn’t put it down. I hold space for you, Craig and your three little humans, though the space you hold for yourselves is rich enough to create new life. God, I could talk with you for hours about how you and I took Life way too seriously, only to find out that we forgot to laugh. I haven’t met you, and I haven’t met Craig, but I’ve never loved two people truer than I love the both of you. Thank you for your light, G. You’re shining truer and brighter than ever and it’s a beautiful sight to behold.

Hi. This is my first visit to your site. I heard about your book and remembered the word momastry from seeing your story about your daughter’s struggle with her body/image/weight/make up, one or all of those things (don’t want to make an assumption from a foggy memory) and then how you handled it, which was BRILLIANT. I sent that essay/story/post to everyone I knew who worked with girls, is parenting girls or will be grand mothering girls. I am grand mothering a girl. So when I saw you have a book about to come out I ran over to check out the site. After reading this post and knowing nothing else about you and your family except that what I just stated/read above I wanted to tell you this. I am the daughter of divorce, my husband is the son of divorce. We were both redeemed and our marriage was redeemed. Yes, of course divorce is terrible and yes, of course everyone gets hurt. There is no denying that. But God is faithful and even with all the ugly my husband and I dealt with that was a part of our childhood we’re ok. We’re even better than okay, we’re amazing. and our life is amazing and our kids are amazing and our grans are amazing. May God bless you and yours.

I’m with you. I’ve been there. It’s so hard and guilt inducing and scary. I try every day.
You are strong. I admire you. You say things women don’t say but that we need to hear. Love, support and best wishes to you, dear. It’s a hard road. But it’s a good one.

your not alone!!!….I just wanted to share that recently I left my husband a year ago, he did not want to separate. I did, I was done with the old me, I was done with the lies, lies I told myself, lies he told me… I decided that I had ONE chance to live this life I have. and I realized that I had done everything to save my marriage.. it didn’t work.
I think I stayed so long because I was afraid of the truth, I was afraid if I knew the truth.. I would have to face it head on. It took me years to get here. But I am so happy and proud of myself that I did!! Yes, life is hard with 3 kids, I sent my oldest daughter to college this year, by myself! I got a great job that I love!! Bills, I struggle with every month. But it is all so worth it! I chose the most important love of all, to love myself and to put me first. I had to be true to myself!!! I will always fuck up and I will recover! But I will not loose myself again… Change is good … but it wasnt easy…

Dear Glennon,

I love your writing, and I bought copies of your last book for so many of my friends who were also undergoing their own struggles. This post makes me so so sad that I set it aside for a month, and I am now thinking about it again so I thought I’d leave a comment. I respect your decision and I know you must have reasons for your choice. However, all throughout Carry On, Warrior when you described your marital struggles, I took so much hope in the fact that you and Craig worked things out. My own marriage is in a hard place, and I guess on some level I thought, if she can work through it and come out stronger, so can I. Now, I am sad that it seems some things are just too hard to overcome.

Always wishing you all the best in your life.

1. You are not Jesus, you cannot piece your broken self back together no matter how hard you try. If you are relying on you to fix yourself you are still extremely broken and will never heal.

2. Your comment was you can either save your marriage or save your soul. You alone can do neither. However Jesus can do both at the same time, if only given the chance to.

While it is your choice and your life, for those reading, I feel as though you should know that God is great enough to fix broken marriages and broken people. You do not have to lose your soul or become a mat to be walked on. You need only seek His truth in the Bible and continue to lay down your life before Him. I am discouraged reading this post. Not because of their divorce, but because of the sad influence that narcissism has had upon this family as they were healing. We deserve nothing yet God provides more than we need. And we still feel we deserve more. Please be aware and careful out there that “you” doesnt become more important than Him.

I’ve never posted a comment in a comment section. Truly. This will be the first. And probably the last. But, after a cursory glance at the response to this post, I wanted to write this one thing: Glennon, you are Strong. With a capital S. You share searing, nitty-gritty truth that goes deep. Sometimes so deep it’s uncomfortable. Which might explain why some people balk. But honestly, uncomfortable is good. Thank you for your brave voice and truth-telling. It is good. You’ve changed my life–and the lives of so many people–for the better. I only have love and prayers for you and your family.

It’s disturbing to see all the comments contorting the words of the bible and the sanctity of marriage. The bible clearly states marriage is between a man and a woman and that woman wil submit to the man and the man will love her like he loves the church. God is not ok with divorce. It’s a sin but like all sins Jesus died for it and forgiveness is ours if we repent and ask for it. What bothers me is everyone acting like this is what God wants and He is absolutely fine with the choices to destroy His covenant. He’s not. Trying to twist the bible to say what you want it to say is wrong and could lead others astray. Ask God’s forgiveness for your failures and drive on. Jesus is the head of any marriage but man is the head of woman. You may not like hearing it in the midst of all the feminism and “I choose me” that’s being posted here but it’s Gods word, don’t get it twisted. And certainly stop confusing those who may not fully understand His word. God’s word is unchanging and it isn’t for man’s interpretation. Scripture defines scripture and there is no contradiction if you truly study it. If you’re just trying to pick out words and pieces to appease your conscious I’m sure you can muster something up but be sure that when the time comes, your lack of wanting to find the real truth doesn’t excuse things in God’s eyes. I have been divorced, I was wrong. I asked God’s forgiveness for my stubbornness and my willingness to turn a blind eye to His will. I’m happily married now and we have two rules , we bring everything to God and We don’t run, no matter what. God has blessed me with an amazing man despite my failures. Had I turned to Him , truly turned to Him, and not just looked for what I wanted to hear, I know He would have saved my first marriage and healed the hurt that had been done to me. I have asked for forgiveness for my pride. If you choose divorce, then that is what YOU are choosing, not God. Be honest with yourself and pray for God’s forgiveness. Not everyone can stay in a failing marriage for many different reasons, some are unwilling to do what has to be done. Pride, hurt and an unwilling spirit will stop you if you let it. I’m not judging anyone for divorcing, it’s not my place, but call it what it is. It’s our failure, not God’s will.

I have reread this post several times because your words, Glennon, have stayed on my mind and my concern and caring for you are very much alive. However, this is the first time I made my way through the many pages of the comments (I apparently will never learn not to read the comments), and first I was mad at what some people were saying (the ones who know EVERYTHING but still can’t seem to get compassion quite right), and then I was very, very sad.

I was driving home from a friend’s the other day and had time to listen to one of your newer podcasts, and as often happens, what you had to say was sort of just what I needed to hear. You were talking about how addictions (or sometimes I think of some of them as compulsions) are a way of going under so that you don’t have to show yourself to the world and be seen because the thought of truly being seen is excruciating. I am someone who has used food, shopping, and over-buying (like the time I realized I had twelve of the same tank top from Old Navy, same color and size, even), along with hours and hours on the Internet and more than one binge on a new-to-me TV series to cope with how hard it is to (A) figure out who the real me is (still working on that) and (B) trust that I can be seen as the person I really am without all the people who have cared about me in the past still having a place for me in their lives. My therapist and I often talk about how I feel like changing now would end up with me trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. If I am not a round peg anymore, where will there be a spot for me?

You also talked about women should support and uplift each other, and it is evident as I read through the comments that questioned your (insert whatever they questioned here…there was certainly a lot of judgment flying around) that this is not happening. And we can see that every day. Part of me thinks it is because we are so afraid of being seen. But I also have to agree with you when you point out that “the pie” is not limited. You publishing your book does not mean that you have stolen some future success from me. There is plenty of pie to go around. And when women support each other and lift each other up and belong to each other, every time one of celebrates a success, we should all be celebrating it because it belongs in some way to all of us.

Anyway, just as I would not ever invite someone to give me some backhanded “advice” concerning something about which she has no idea (after all, you, Craig, and your children are the only people who are experts on what your life really looks like, just like I am the only one – well, along with my therapist – who really knows what my life looks like), I am still, almost a month after your first shared your news with us, “standing” beside you and offering to hold you up in whatever way I can. And I am still SO APPRECIATIVE that you were willing to trust us with this information. Remembering my own divorce and remembering how I shared way too much with people who had not, in any way, earned the right to hear my story (thanks, BB), I do worry that the same will happen to you (and already has). But if you remember that your tribe has your back and that those people who are judging and advising and admonishing you for something they know nothing about are not part of your tribe, you will know that we are here, whether you share more about this journey or decide to keep it on the inside. We can do hard things, especially if we do them together.

It took (still takes) a lot of guts to post this pre book release. It speaks to your purpose and authenticity that you would. Add to that you allowed the world to freely and chaotically respond without a single word to clarify, thank someone, or stifle the uprising. I found that bold and strong and counter-cultural. What a relief to be honest. I don’t really read blogs anymore.. . I don’t remember how I found this post, but it’s been that “thing” in the back of my mind that won’t let me be. I wrestled with it while relating to it embracing fighting questioning it. I mean you really did a number on me. And that is a good thing. Ditto on the comments, seriously. I feel empowered and broken by it all. And what I really learned was – I think we get so lost when we zero in on the details.

The details give us a box to put someone’s pain in.

A box that feels so familiar and comfortable. We love those boxes! Everything contained and safe, or maybe not safe, sometimes judged and cast aside. But at least we can put a lid on it and not feel uneasy or uncomfortable. Exploring the life of Jesus, I realize that he could never be put in a box, and that was kindof the whole point – His purpose defied it. He made so many people uneasy and uncomfortable! Even his closest beloved on this earth. When we step back (zoom out) we see why.

We don’t have all the answers for every person’s experience on this earth. We don’t, despite what is ingrained in so many of us as (warped) truth. And I so love Truth before you go box-ing me. 😉 I wrestled with this whole thing, remember?, AND I loved the post and the comments. The disciples had such great reasoning, common sense, to offer Jesus. You need to rest and hang out with us. You need to send these annoying children back to their parents. You need to please for the love stop hanging out with these outcasts and SINNERS; it looks so bad, Jesus. Who did He judge and rage against? Who did he comfort and love and hold and say your sins are forgiven; sin no more?

So my purpose in commenting is threefold: Thank you, Glennon, for your painfully raw honesty, courage and letting us in for our sake as much as yours. Thank you, all of you, who responded because there is a greater purpose here – to learn to fully listen hands open, to process and wrestle with differing opinions, to take pieces of truth from each one and appreciate the unique journey we all walk. I don’t see this as “either/or – pro- against”. It’s “and”, all of it. Thank you, Jesus, that our identity is securely eternally sealed and held paid for in your sacrifice and redeeming relentless love for us. No matter what.

I found your new book post while writing this. I was floored by it all. “I encountered God here, not in spite of the darkness, but because of it.” – one of your editor friends. 🙂 In this one precious life where we all struggle, what more could we ask for?

Glennon
I send my love to you. I come from a family that divorced when I was 6. There is beauty that comes through the pain. I see you have reached the stage of transcendence that believes in your own soul and I applaud you. My parents truth and integrity about their own growing journeys are the sole thing that also allowed me to heal and connect with my soul. You, your truths, your public honesty, compassion and the,ability to treat EVERYONE like they are a part of your family is it.
With love, gratitude a d understanding I stand by you.
Heather

You are brave and beautiful and so is Craig. Lord, have mercy and grant you peace. Thank you for your bravery and vulnerability as it will bless many.

Thank you for choosing to see your truth, to name your truth, and to live in it honestly. It is so hard to do. Your transparency makes us more powerful and more gentle at the same time. Sending so much love to you and yours. I believe Jesus is holding you and Craig and your kids so close and will bring astonishing new things, like the Kintsugi pottery showing gold in the broken places. Looking forward to seeing you at the Minneapolis event in November.

I have been through hell, as I am sure many of us have and that is why we relate to you Glennon. I am still in hell and my husband’s infidelity is just one aspect of my hell. I am professional and provider of my family and I am just trying to keep it together one day at a time. I would truly like to know the reason you are separating. I only need to know so I can get some insight for my own situation.
Did he cheat again?
Did you meet someone?
Is it just too hard?
Thank you

Amen. And Goddess bless.

I’m so very grateful that you chose to share your story. I’m sure that there are so many women out there who, like me, are remembering to breathe and learning to survive thanks to women like you. I’m just 3 months into “The News,” which at this point seems like a lifetime. I wish I could convey my gratitude to you, but on a daily basis, remembering where I put my purse, my keys and remembering IF I brushed my teeth this morning seems like a monumental achievement. But you know what?….You’ve helped me pass through the days, you’ve comforted me when I can’t sleep, you’ve given my heart a lot to consider and you’ve helped me laugh [love your chapter On Vacuuming]. So thank you. I’m grateful that your life is a book full of many heartfelt chapters. I’ll look forward to reading the next one. I hope you continue writing.

Dear G.,

I cried all the way through. I made myself the same promise. Stay true, no matter what.
I came to the same choice, either my marriage or my soul. It was heartbreaking telling him.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, your truth.
In yours I see mine.
If Im lost I read this. And then I’ll know again.

Thank you <3

Kudos to you for staying true to yourself, to being loyal and faithful and the best friend to yourself that you could be. We come as us and leave as us. It is the one relationship that we have complete control over and will be with us forever. So kudos for being strong and living in integrity.

this is so very brave. listening to the small voice.

and loving and trying your best.

wonderful.

and maybe odd, but what church do you go to?

thanks and stay awesome.
s

Glennon, thank you for this. I have an incredible admiration for your courage and for the beautiful way in which you express yourself. You and I don’t know each other, but when I read your seventh paragraph (in which you describe waking up and realizing that you’ve put yourself back together in a completely new and different way) I felt seen and understood in a way that I’ve been craving for some time now. After some painful struggles, I made the decision to end my own marriage about 18 months ago, and the one thing I kept repeating over and over was that I feel like a completely different person now than the person I was before. Reading your eloquent expression of that same feeling was healing for me. Thank you. Sending you love and support during this painful time.

Reading your post reminds me of myself 35years ago. That was when the father of my children and I parted after 15 years of being together. Now in my 70th year and having surprisingly acquired 2 ex husbands I reflect on the consequences of my decisions that at the time seemed correct. We were sure that we would remain connected in a mutually supportive way for the kids sake and for our own. We were the first of our circle to separate and nobody said anything to dissuade us .Over the years things soured and that noble intent has not lasted. I don’t want to discount the glorious life that i have been blessed with however there were dimensions that I had no awareness of then that have in more recent times brought unexpected regrets. I didn’t know the deep impact it would have on my children to have to adjust to being with their mother and father in intimate relationship with another partner and that it would impact their relationships. The resulting struggle they had to navigate at special family times such as birthdays and Christmas. This has become more complex for them since they have their own families and the new practices and expectations of in-law families. It took me a long time to actually recognize fully that their father and i had broken up their home and they just had to accept it. They were 8 and 4 years old at the time. Now they have blessed me with 5 grandchildren and I find that I long to be able to share those very special relationships with their father as grandparents. So much of our relationships are actually based on cellular resonance. Its in the blood and it is ultimately our own immortality that we see in our grandchildren and the incredible love that they unleash in our hearts. I’m certainly not giving advice or saying that I’d do otherwise given the chance but sharing my experience. Love to you all.

You really are a true warrior…I totally get the grieving your marriage part. I’m struggling with that too. This year, right after I received a beautiful spiritual awakening, I began to see my marriage and the things my person does for what they really are, which is hard, very very very hard. It’s hard when one person reaches for healing and the other person seems to dig in their little heels and stay. (That’s the situation I’m in. I’m changing and growing and trying to drag the guy with me, and it’s soon not working. It’s not bad, but it’s not good either.) My therapist keeps telling me that change will come slowly and will take time and it will hurt like hell and that if he does not change and continues his negative behaviors, that I will probably have to leave. But I’m not ready to leave yet…I keep praying and hoping that things will get better, and part of me was truly sad when I read your post about separating from Craig. And yet…I totally get it. I know several friends who’ve left their husbands only to return to them later, after they [the husbands] have made positive changes. And I’ve known others who’ve left and not returned…It really is up to the individual and I applaud you for your honesty and your kindness in telling us, your online family, that you are taking a break….From my brief experience as a counselor (3 years in!), and from my own marriage woes, I know that I don’t know very much…I wish I knew more. I’d like to predict the future and figure out if your marriage will work, if mine will…I know that the emptiness I feel inside will not be filled up by any man but by G-d…And that’s the awakening I had, G, back at the beginning of the summer: I woke up, finally, to the truth that my identify is firmly rooted in G-d. It was truly beautiful and I wish I could have rode on those emotions for the rest of my life, but life (as they say) got in the way…May you find peace in that and in your precious family. I know you will because like a warrior, you’ve trained for this and you will keep up the good fight till the end. XOX

Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece of your journey. Know that your children will be fine because Love Wins and you guys are showing them that the whole concept of Married Forever is a manmade concept that was created from fear. All we have is right now. Believing we can control the future is delusional. The fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce supports that the whole concept, created by religion and now supported by our government, isn’t real. It’s a fairy tale. And while fairy tales are nice, they aren’t real. The wise thing to do is acknowledge that when a union ends, finding a way to do it with love and compassion for who you each are and will continue to be, not the least of which is parents of the same children, has to be the goal. Our system is set up to encourage both parties to fight and hate each other, creating a situation that leaves a huge amount of the financial legacy in the pockets of the attorneys. Protect yourself from that. Move through it with love. Remember the parts that got you together in the first place. And know you’ll be okay. They’ll be okay. It’s okay to show them when it hurts because then, as they watch you get stronger, they get to learn that we don’t have to let our pain destroy us. “The world breaks everyone, and some of us are stronger at the broken places.” Ernest Hemingway. Our scars show we survived. Do what you need to do, girl. You got this.

Have not been here much lately. Blown away by your honesty in this life change. Completely understand that the re-built people no longer fit as they once did, despite sincerely trying. Bless you (and your family) for letting those of us who love you all see the real. Because it make our own real okay. Y’all are awesome.

Lots of good metaphors, wordsmithing, kindness, love and support, great. listening to that inner voice, what voice is that? you have gone though a lot, but what voice is it? God is telling you to chuck it? Who are you listening to. Perhaps Craig is an abuser, or cheater, or you, do not know, but maybe not, maybe you need to get help to reform more/reshape more, together. We do not need more shame, perhaps more guilt in America. We are such a different country than we were, it is really unrecognizable… I do not think quitting is harder though. Glenna you written so much good stuff, I do which you well,

I appreciate G–always have. I’m not Christian or anti-divorce. But at the end of the day, she is a self-promoting writer and brand-builder. I find the family mission statement and post-script to be her trying to wrap up this whole thing up in a nice bow for her brand and defend herself. Something pukey and contrived about it to protect her pocketbook…believe me this controversy of now divorcing will get her book a spot on the today show more than “love” alone (see: dooce).

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for trusting us with your heart and soul and family. I love you. I am here for you. LOVE WINS.

Your story is inspirational passionate authentic and truly vulnerable.
revealing the core (foundation) of loving and commitment in relationship
how truth and love are as one …how our wounding is the way through…shedding layers of generational shame
Your words reveal how we are drawn into relationship (the beloved our mirror)
to then heal, becoming whole glorious people
thankyou for your words
PS. suggest G. as time allows, please would you write for our children…real stories so they can understand.
I’ll be reading them to my grandkids. Love and gratitude

Hi Glennon and everyone,
I can show you where divorce is in the Bible. How it is not a failure or self-centered or breaking a vow.
This is not at all me saying “This is what the Bible says”.
Because the Bible doesn’t say anything. The Bible doesn’t speak.
God is the One who speaks by the Holy Spirit through the Bible to us individually. Some people don’t know that yet. Or they forgot. Or it’s not their time. Some people are supposed to tell other people what God has whispered to their heart thru the Bible.
To me, the Bible is like DNA – every human has DNA – but God has arranged DNA differently in every human. The way I explain it is the Bible is all new creation DNA and as we read and ask our questions and pray and have our melt-downs. Out goes the old and in comes the new as God builds us up God sees fit. God does a new thing.
All humans are now the Bride under Christ’s headship and authority.
The patriarchy doesn’t exist on Earth anymore – it was fulfilled in Jesus and taken up by Jesus, the 2nd, last, final Adam. We humans are now the Bride. We are married to Christ. It is the only Biblical paradigm I can find that is eternal and being literally worked out on Earth as it is in Heaven.
So, in human marriages the 2 humans shall become one Bride, positionally, under the headship /husband position only Jesus holds. His glory is shared with no man.
I had to know this before I could see other things.
It is just a disaster how people of faith try and reestablish some sort of patriarchy. But that is another subject.
So, about divorce, we need to understand that the OT and the patriarchy were always pointing to the finished work of Christ. It’s a do-over with Jesus in the role of husband and God in the role of Father/Parent/Creator. (So, married or not we are covered , you know?)
All that seemed so oppressive for women has now been fulfilled and remade in Christ. We answer to Jesus alone. And yes I have read all the words that are in a row on the pages of the Bible about marriage. If anyone tries to take those words and put them together in the shape of a god or a marriage they will end up with something like a Frankenstein or a Westboro monster.
So anyway, the vs “what God has joined together let no man put asunder” was just haunting me (after the news, when it all fell apart) so I studied and had a huge fight with the Lord about it. And then it happened. The word asunder became clear to me in a new way. It was a new thing.
The word asunder is a similar word used to describe what happened to Judas’ body after he betrayed Jesus and flung himself off of a cliff.
Judas’ body was torn asunder and Jesus was crucified.
I saw clearly that it was not divorce that tore marriage asunder – it was betrayal.
Divorce was now more like the certificate the doctor signs after he calls time of death on a patient.
It stood out to me that Jesus, being fully human, didn’t run after Judas and say he forgave him and try to reconcile and build a new relationship.
He just let him jump.
I realized that although forgiveness was freely given thru the Blood of Jesus and we are reconciled to God – our forgiving others does not insure or demand reconcilliation and restoration to other people. Even in marriage. Maybe especially in marriage if there has been betrayal.
After that my inner voice started asking myself “Do you see?” And I was like “of course I SEE! Everything is splattered everywhere!” I was looking at what betrayal had done to my marriage and I understood I had a choice to make – either live in the dead marriage body and live a lie (which I can be really good at doing) or I could accept God’s invitation to be released to begin a new life – which sounds refreshing and breezy – but, at least for me, at times, was so foreign and frusterating I felt like God had just left me in a ditch. And why the hell didn’t God inspire me to save money ahead of time? Huh? Answer me that one!
I hated everything for so long. So, just a heads up.
I was in the place that Numbers 30 was foreshadowing for us under the new covenant. Jesus was the head of my marriage – Jesus saw the betrayal and when I was ready He showed me the Truth and after I processed it for awhile, there was a moment it felt like God nodded at me like I do when I am so proud of one of my kids when I see them do the hard thing. It still makes me cry when I remember it.
I feel like God was proud of me and saying “well done – you are good and faithful”…and right around that time I found Momastery. I even got Lyme disease and almost died.
So I waited awhile to write this because I knew it would take up a lot of space – I am also not finished writing this – it all feels loose and unpolished and really personal and oh my God it’s like the pajamas of comments!
I can hardly see what I’m typing into this teeny weeny box on my iPhone – but it is the best I can do for now – it’s not worthlesss.
Mostly this is Glennon’s idea because she keeps posting all these things on Instgram.
I hope it can be of some use to someone.
It is my Truth and I am happy to give it away.

Glennon,
Thank you for your candor. I picked up Carry On recently when my beau and I were having a tough ride. I read it in three days, and felt much of myself in your words. I can honestly say that you are a true warrior, and it is so hard to stand in a place of love, for another person and yourself. I’m finding this out now. We decided to end it, and although we had wrapped promises, and dreams together, there are fundamental differences between the two of us that will not allow us to go forward. I’ve had toxic moments where in my inability to “make him” see my point of view, I’ve made myself absolutely miserable and crazed. The blessing, at this point, is that we don’t have children, and it will be easier to walk away. I am not one to keep in touch with an ex so completely letting go is my plan. He and I both felt like complete failures, and it is terrible to look into those amazing eyes, and say “I love you, but I cannot see you anymore. I am looking with great anticipation for your new release, and if I am in the states, I will try to come to a talk. Meanwhile, I pray that you will have comfort, and God’s love surround and heal all those broken bits. Know that you are loved, Glennon. xo Jules

Peace, love and light Glennon. Thank you for sharing this.

Love. So much love for you, G.

Hey G,

I read this post a few days ago and I didn’t really know what to think. I have pre-ordered your book and as a married woman who loves marriage advice I have to admit I was looking forward to a happy ending. But as I have thought more about it, I realized ALL happy endings are just moments. My whole life, I have always secretly wanted to be a Sage, a wise older woman that people turn to (I am 30 now) and while I still look forward to having long white hair and doing yoga, I have realized that you don’t get any Truths until you are nearly done living. You can’t really say for sure what the best outcome is for anything and most of the time the actual outcome doesn’t matter nearly as much as your approach in each and every moment. It sounds to me like you are doing it all as right as you can. (Of course, not that it always feels right and not that you won’t say or do things that later you look back on and go “ugh”.) It was super brave to come out with this news before the book release. You are a good role model for women of being honest and open even when its tough. I read “Carry On Warrior” around this time last year as the first book of my small group/church book club. I still think about you (your blog helps me stay in touch). Carry on Warrior Woman. Love you and your family – all of them, just the same, no matter what roof.

Sending love and prayers. Going through divorce was the hardest, bravest thing I ever did and probably the most important. Prayers for courage, peace, and the occasional Oreo.

. . . a masterful wordsmith speaking of her truth. Very engaging. When personal truth is the only consultant to one’s will, all decisions and actions are valid, by definition.

You have all my love and support. I am so grateful to have access to this kind of thinking. My mother never did, so the only way she found to leave her marriage, which wasn’t necessarily bad or abusive in any way, was to die of cancer. But she never had the courage to leave and start living authenticaly.

Thank you for the beautiful read. All the best for your new life. Stay strong! 🙂

Glennon, Your emotional integrity is a thing of rare, rare beauty

You are so God damn brave. Holding you and your family close on my heart. Love and support and prayers from one warrior to another❤️

Wishing you heaps of love, inner calm, and continued courage. Lynn

Bravo, Glennon. As a newly divorced woman, I can see this isn’t about advocating for marriage or for divorce. It’s about advocating for one’s self. I lived it. I made it to the other side of the grief and stigma. You will too.

Be good to yourself so you can be great for others. Families come in all different shapes and sizes and so do healthy relationships. I’m 37, divorced, and happier than I’ve even been, being the best mom/friend/sister/daughter that I’ve ever been. I’ve made it.

Wishing you all the very best life can offer!

Thank you. You and your strength have helped me through a number of hard times- but especially now as I am in the same place, with the same choice. I chose my soul, too.
With gratitude and love- Biz

I am here for you. Living true is living brave. I admire you.

As someone who does not follow this blog I question why Glennon didn’t clarify that the “serious trauma” was infidelity. And in reading the comment section it is very apparent that I was not the only one who missed this. It seems a disservice to readers – who are (no doubt) making judgements with missing information. Sure-we can Google it, which is what I did… but why not be more transparent? The disputes all over the comment section are half in ignorance- and it makes one wonder if that was intentional? If it was… then I disagree with her ambiguity.

I don’t claim to know anything except how unwordably sad I am to see the conclusion you’ve drawn from all of this. That after all the work and the healing and the revelation, you conclude that separation is the answer. But to be honest, I am not surprised. I am watching concern for self trump everything else all over this big world–and particularly in my beloved country–and I grieve the loss of hearts who once considered others more important than themselves. Calling a ripping apart of two hearts once joined “till death do us part” can be renamed, but it doesn’t change the fallout of the ripping. No, I will not judge you. But I will tell you that I am deeply grieved. For all of us.

I love you. I trust you. You are good and true and bring sense and light to this world for so many of us, in so many different ways. Now you bring it to yourself. You are beyond deserving of it. I’m so grateful you’re this strong. We will all benefit from it, your community, your friends, your family, your children, as you get to take your new shape, unfettered by expectations from another era of your evolution. Thank you for letting us in this way, and know that we are here for you. Truly truly. So. Much. Love.

I am thankful for G’s bravery in this and also in allowing the comments from those who disagree to stand here, because that just shows how much courage and kindness is in her message. This news hit hard for so many of us, didn’t it, and she is wise to remind us that might not be about her but about ourselves, our own marriages and journeys. I got The News almost seven years ago and thought I put myself back together strong and whole, but this post has made me face again that my marriage has always been a fight, and there is a part of me that has no home in it and never has. I have chosen not to fight for that part of me with my good and loving husband because of shame and fear, and now I’m afraid it’s dead forever. At the same time, I’m not sure it’s not just proof I am broken. G always asks such good questions…I’m hoping that “Love Warrior” has some to help me figure all this out. “Should I stay or go” is too big and vague at this moment…

Thank you for your honesty. I will pray for you and your family. Sending love.

This is my first time commenting on any website…ever! And my first time visiting this blog. Just never took the time. This post is just so devastatingly beautiful and does so much good for the world that I have to tell you!!
We are here for you Glennon! Of course. Looks like you will lose some fans who don’t understand, but me visiting this blog tonight proves you will find new ones- ones who were meant to find you.
My parents divorced when I was in my early 20s. My mom was the definition of broken when she left, and she was diagnosed with bone cancer shortly after- I believe it came from years of trying to shove her feelings down, a painfully inauthentic life lived for others. She was so ashamed of the divorce that she didn’t talk to my siblings and I about it , and we had to keep it a secret from some family. Pain, shame, secrets…I know you know all about it.
But you are walking through the fire in a way that is allowing others to support you. We will hold you up. You trusted that the universe would support you, and I want to tell you that though I am a small part of it, and may never meet you, I will help support you.
Thank you for being brave, and showing everyone how. I send prayers, prayers, prayers. So much love to you.

Simply awesome. I stumbled upon this post via another post on your blog via some other website, via some side ad on facebook (oh, the places we go…on the internet!) and I am in awe of how I was led to your post because I really needed to read what you wrote I just didn’t know it until I was here. I needed to hear another woman be honest in the way that you are in your writings. I am grateful. Thank you, thank you.

What if the defining feature of marriage and family love is that we stay together even in seasons when we don’t fit?

I think I just don’t understand what Glennon is saying here. I know that she speaks in metaphors and isn’t giving details, which I’m glad for, but I think because of that I just don’t understand.

My husband and I got married very young. We were not healthy and our individual dysfunctions led to many difficult years of marriage. I’ve acknowledged to myself and him that I don’t think we should have gotten married. But, we’ve also had many great years of marriage and have grown as individuals and in our relationship. We’ve sat in our pain and we’ve been honest and we’ve pieced ourselves back together. We’ve granted each other the space and freedom to grow and change in ways that we needed to, without fearing the other leaving us. We are not the same people that we were when we got married 15 years ago, and we won’t be the same people 20 years from now as we are today. I don’t feel trapped; I’ve given myself permission to leave but I choose to stay every day. Isn’t that what marriage is? Two people growing through life together and choosing every day to keep on showing up?

I think marriage is stretchy enough that there’s no such thing as someone not fitting. (I’m obviously not talking about things like abuse, etc.) Marriage and family love gives each other enough space so that everyone fits. Can you imagine parents deciding that one child just “doesn’t fit” in their family anymore? To me, that’s what Glennon’s revelation is akin to.

Marriage is dynamic; it’s not the old inflexible wineskin or unnecessary dead skin or a served-it’s-purpose cocoon. It’s a painting that’s being added to every day. Some of it is beautiful and some of it is ugly, and we don’t know really know what it’ll turn into until the end. Leaving the marriage leaves behind an unfinished painting. What if it would have turned out to be a masterpiece?

I remember how it felt when I realized it was time for my partnership with my best friend to move into seperate houses… No betrayals, no less honorable a person or a life, it was just that our being together no longer served each other.

I greived. Hard. Cried every day for six months. And then one day, I had my best friend back again. And I could breathe again. And I lived. As a new person. Better for the journey’s past, but headed forward towards new awakenings.

Bless you and Craig. It is hard to let something go that you dearly love. Sometimes I still wish I could have worked it out differently- but only because of the deep mark in my life that was wonderful, not because I forget that our time had drawn to a close.

Love is always a win. Keep loving each other and your kids. You will always be family that way. Just new shapes and people coming inside the circle of love.

Glennon,

I love your honesty and candor…and they way you honor your voice
and the truth of who you are…and who you’re becoming. We are all
a work in progress and I admire how you’re walking the walk. I ordered
LOVE WARRIOR way in advance and have tickets to see you in LA…
but in the meantime, just know I’m sending you lots of love + light as
you wade your way thru this transition and transformation. Change
can sting like hell at first but it has always brought me to a better
place and I trust it will do the same for you! (((Hugs)))

I want people to realize the author is using silencing language in her post script toward anyone who is concerned that Glennon is promoting diminished ideas around the purpose of marriage. I can see her followers are quick to jump on the ‘silencing’ bandwagon as well.

Those who keep Jesus the center of their marriage understand any true healing can only come from him, not ourselves or our spouse. For true healing and peace we do not ‘put ourselves back together’ but rather continuously lean into his truth of who he says we are and his promises to us. In the OP I did not see any recognition that Jesus was the focus in their marriage, but more each other and the evolving of self. To that end I can see how marriage would be seen as more of a means for “self peace” (and other self promoting concepts) and when it no longer fits one’s promotion of “self peace” then it can be discarded in flowery language (her annual vs perennial plant illustration) True lasting peace comes from knowing Jesus and following what he says is best for our flourishing. Marriage was designed to be a reflection of Jesus’ commitment to his bride, the church. I am truly grateful that his commitment to us is not just for a season like Glennon and her following are, by proxy, saying when they claim a christian marriage can be.

Glennon and her husband can make whatever decisions for their lives but I am concerned that so many are not catching that in her decision to end her marriage there was not talk of what Jesus says marriage is and what he would want them to do, what would be the mot God honoring, what would be for their holiness, what this says to their children about the purpose of marriage, what this says to the world about Jesus’ commitment and covenant to his bride. By all accounts she came to this decision on her own without the counsel of her pastors. She said details not said were intentional so it appears possibly no outside counsel was pursued in her decision. I would like to hear her husbands account and how he is processing apart from her account of this all playing out. Each should be free to speak for themselves. Since this is something she clearly wants and wants to promote as ok, I can’t help but distrust her account of how he truly feels about the matter since his life is getting the most disrupted with having to move out and away from the day to day living with his family.

Outside of real abuse and habitual sin, I don’t understand how a christian woman can justify the idea that the pursuing of being her true self, following who she is supposed to be (hopefully she is humbly seeking the Lords truth in this matter and not just what her heart feels) would also mean the breaking up of her marriage as a God honoring and soul fulfilling route for her further growth. Show me in scripture (since her postscript is clear she does not want to hear what others think God would think because what’s on her heart is more important than the burden laid on the hearts of those who believe in a higher purpose for marriage….only her interpretation of who God is matters apparently)…..show me in scripture support for people ending their marriages this way?

Your words are raw and real and relatable. So much truth when you write, and this one especially, has touched me as I am in a similar heart place. Instead of taking some memorable notes, I may just print this whole thing off and paste it in my journal as if I wrote it (some could call it immoral if I don’t self-report for plagiarism, whatevs). Thank you for sharing your processing of this junk as [embarrassingly] many of your words (here and in the past) have helped me in my own junk(s)… you’ve GIVEN me words to label my situations, feelings, and heart…. to help processing for myself, with God and with others . This post was a gift to me today.

In 2008 , after being divorced for 25 years, my dad moved back in with my mom. He was dying of cancer and she insisted that he let her take care of him until the end (with the help of all four of us kids, of course.) They never reconciled their marriage , and none of us wanted them to. They had been wonderful divorced — excellent friends and co-parents. They never made us choose between them and always had a unified front in parenting, but they weren’t good married. My point is that there’s more than one way to do ’til death do us part’ and more than one way to do love. As I told my mom, she made good on her vows.

Thank you, Glennon. This honest sharing of your truth came at a time when I was questioning the revelation of my own. I cannot go back and un-know what I have learned. God knows that sometimes I wish I could. Sometimes: I wish I could pretend that my marriage was not unhealthy and act as if the story book image of how it appeared to be to the outside world was actually how it was. I wish I could hide in a mountain of comfort food losing myself in the illusion that suggests I am safe. I wish I could drink myself into a stupor and use that as an excuse to escape the responsibilities that I assign to myself. Anything to just not feel and face what I might otherwise uncover. I can’t anymore though. I know too much. I know that what I am discovering from walking through the unknown and following the tug that is pulling on my soul is leading me to a life of truth. It’s more painful than I imagined, though oh-so-free. I cling to the knowing that the greater the fall and the more intensely I feel, the more alive I can become. I am seeing that living as an example of my truth is much more powerful than pretending to live as others think my truth should be. I credit you for validating that for me here and so often when I tap into your writing because of your incredible ability and willingness to share openly and freely. You support me in my quest to forever uncage what has been trapped and walk (or crawl) myself toward the being I was intended to be. If that means leaving a situation that I no longer fit into whether it be my marriage or my addictions or my life as I thought it would be, then I am ready. The voices in my head have never made me feel as connected as the knowing in my soul. They just confuse me. Below the shoulders; in the heart; the knowing: that is where the clarity happens. Thank you for paving a path of courage and helping me to confirm that it’s safe for me to do the same. I know that leaving what is familiar can be scary; though accepting the gifts that change can bring when we trust what connects us to that which is bigger than us is miraculous! Everything is going to be okay. XO -Gina

Thank you for your truthfulness and wisdom. Your news scares the sh– out of me and I will examine my own thoughts, feelings and truth to figure out why that is. Thank you for not sitting on this until your book comes out.

Hi Glennon,

I found your post only a few hours after I came to the heartbreaking realization that my marriage is over after only 13 months. I so badly want to find healing on the other side of the brokenness. I am devastated. I can’t breathe. I cry every day. I don’t know how this post/site/you came to me, but thank you for being here for me at this moment. I am walking with you on this awful journey. I believe God is walking with us too. I can’t wait to read your book.

Thank you for your bravery, honesty, and truth-telling,

Kate

Glennon,

I have been following your blog closely since my own decision to divorce over four years ago, but I have never commented. Until today. Today I read this post, and it pierced my soul. Broke me completely wide open. I think it helped release grief I had yet to feel. So thank you for that. While your entire post resonated with me, several phrases touched especially deep. “Success to me is staying in my own peace.” Yes. This is my most sacred self promise, never to be betrayed again. And, “Most of us fight like hell for our marriages until we realize that we can either save our marriages or save our souls.” Yes, yes, yes! Glennon, you are my hero. Such courage to be able to voice what were some of my most painful moments/emotions, and then to voice them so publicly. You are a rock star, the bravest of warriors. My deepest and most heartfelt love and support to you, Craig, and your children. Your family mission statement can be achieved. Love wins. Always.

I understand Glennon’s appeal, and I have liked several of her posts over the years. However, at times her message seems off to me, and this new post has helped me to understand why.

First, people who make a living from writing so intimately about their family in real time forfeit their children’s privacy in a way to which no minor child can adequately consent . (They forfeit their spouses’ privacy, too, but adults can be better expected to evaluate and voice their concerns .) Second, a body of secular, well-conducted, longitudinal research shows that even “good” divorce is usually devastating to children. While divorce may still be necessary, or the better of two choices, to encourage children to sign a happy new family agreement that claims “we will always be a family” is grossly insensitive to the fact that there IS a significant sense of loss for children of divorce. To then share that agreement, with their signatures, with the world is to force them to take adult ownership of decisions that were not theirs to make. Some of the children I’ve seen weather divorce the best were the ones who were allowed to be angry as hell about it.

I would buy any book you ever wrote, even were it an inspired treatise on the virtues of spotless windows. But I am especially buying this one. Not just because you wrote it, this time, but because you are brave enough to write about love and then publish it right in the midst of this news. I can’t thank you enough for NOT waiting. For NOT pretending that everything is ok. So many women just keep pretending, never finding that ‘right time’. I am boundlessly grateful to you for helping me show my daughter that life is not picture perfect and there is no such thing as good timing and that marriage is anything but a fairy tale. We all of us need trail-blazers and truth-tellers to help us recognize how much fortitude and integrity it takes to quit something that’s not right. That the easy, pansy, cheating way would be to stick it out and the hard, truthful, courageous way is to quit. Quitting is so hard. I imagine that few of us know that better than you. But you’re on the path to a whole, new life now and it can be WHATEVER you make of it. Take it from me, although I’m just a drop in the sea of the millions of sisters that are rebuilding and living and showing up after the ‘happily ever after’. Welcome to the club my dear.

Your truth empowers me to soldier own, gives me courage and strength to face another day!! You simply ROCK!!

Love. Love. Love and more love to you and for you G.

Dearest Glennon,

You are loved. You are heard. You are inspiring even through the tough times and tears. I have been there too. Peace be with you and your entire family. Lots of love and prayers and good juju. Kudos to you listening your inner voice.

Summer

Nobody feels any pain
Tonight as I stand inside the rain

Sending love and prayers your way…

Thank you so much for writing this. It is beautiful and raw and captures so much.

You are brave to share, and to do what is best for you. Love never loses. Thank you for this. I fought hard for marriage, but knew that I could not save it. Both partners have to be willing to do the hard work, and even then, it’s sometimes not enough. When I discovered that I was enough, I had the strength to make the break. I have never felt so free as I do now. I am my own wife.

“Love is the boss of me” I love that! Thank you for sharing what you did. Prayers for the happiness of you and your two-house family :o)

No advice. Only love and support, as it should be.

Sending you love, and healing, and peace, and more love. Sending love to Craig and your family as well.

“We are women who have become far too wise to believe in shame.” I love you. I am here for you.