Amazing post! I'm crying and laughing! Thanks to Mrs. 4444 for sending me your way! I'm a new follower, of you not of Jesus, but I'm sure you're okay with that. 🙂

Amen, Sister! I love this post–every single thing about it. I thank Mrs. 4444 for introducing me to a fellow blogger I'm quite certain is soon to become one of my favorites.

I just think that the way people like Jennifer and Tif are talking to each other is miraculous and so, so beautiful.

God Bless Us, every one.

Love, G

Jennifer, I am also Christian. I don't imagine that you have ever had same-sex attractions before. While I would love to believe that hope and healing can come from Jesus alone, that doesn't mean that people can't truly be happy in a same-sex relationship. Everyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, will have to face a pain-filled path–that's just how life works. If we love anyone, we are sure to feel pain. So, if we are human we will no doubt feel pain. Gay people can be just as happy as any other person is, whether they are living with a same-sex partner, or not. Some people are just gay, and honey, believe me when I tell you, there is no way out. The only answer is to love yourself and live your life the way that makes you happy.

I wish you the best,
Tif

Glennon, you write eloquently and beautifully. Along with you, I am also a Christian, and you have challenged me to look intensely at the way I treat others, as well as what I inadvertently teach my children.

One thing I would lovingly and respectfully challenge in your post: your complete embracing of homosexuality in your children. Yes, love and love and love them, of course! But what so many people don't know, or are afraid to face, is that homosexuality is a pain-filled path to which no one struggling with same-sex desires must resign himself or herself. There is hope and there can be healing, in Jesus alone. I wish this truth were communicated more openly, so that those who believe themselves to be irrevocably gay know that there is a way out.

Peace to you,
Jennifer

Thanks for your kind word on my blog today. 🙂

Hope you had a wonderful sabbath.

Ty

This post shines of pure Christianity more than anything I've seen in a long time. I'm sitting in bed in the dark, tearing up as the rest of the family is asleep. This letter is all love. And nothing less. Oh how we need that love. And oh how I need to give that love even more.

I am 22 years old, and I have been raised in a very Christian family, city, state, church, etc. Since I was a child I loved the gospel of Jesus Christ, and I loved God. But as time went on a battle began within me between what I believed was right and how I was feeling inside. I was 20 years old when I finally admitted to myself that I was gay. Almost a decade after I really began to feel it. And even now I find myself judging myself and getting upset because I'm not "perfect" or "doing what I'm supposed to." And all that judging really takes a toll.

I needed to read this tonight. I needed to read that God loves me, no matter how I feel and no matter how my family and my church view my orientation. I am still me. I can still love God and the gospel regardless of my orientation. God is love. And I need this in my life.

About a year ago everything finally collided and I couldn't take it anymore. And I met a guy who would change my life. I fell in love with him. And he with me. We've been together for over a year, and anyone who can take a clear look at both our lives can clearly see that our being together saved both of us. I am better because I am with him. God sent him to me. And I thank God for him every day.

I'll admit, there are still times when I feel those old expectations, whether they be from my family, my friends, my university, my church, or myself. There are even times when I feel pressured because of what I think God thinks (though I still haven't consulted him much on the topic). And when I let those things through my self-worth begins to plummet, and anger and animosity seep in. And then my desire to reach out to God begins to wane. But I need him. And I need his love most of all. I need to feel it for myself, and I need to feel that love for others. I need that unconditional love of Christ for all people, regardless of what they think of me. I need to love them, for myself as much as for them. Because love heals the lover as much as the loved.

Thank you for extending that love to people like me, and for tearing down the walls of hurt and anger that I have been feeling lately. I feel true peace as I write this.

I don't care what others may say, we need more people like you in this world. And I want to be more unconditionally loving, like you have been to me.

Thank you, and may God bless you.

Ty

If there were more people in the world with thoughts like this, it would be a better place. Every time I see a rant about how homosexuality is a sin, or that it is a crime against nature, I have to remind myself that what I am is natural. I am not a Christian, though I was born twice, once in the body of a baby boy and again, through hormones and surgery as a young woman, and believe me, I wish my own family had been as accepting as you say yours is. I know that religion is a hurdle many of us cannot cross, yet we need to move forward with this so that the world can be at peace.
In this holiday season, I urge us all to come together and realize that gay, straight, boy, girl, transsexual or asexual, Christian (all sorts), Jew, Muslim, thin, fat, we all have to share this world and make it better for all. The Torah teaches us that we must repair the world through good acts, the world will never be whole if we continue to hate.

What beautiful writing, backed by truth and deep meaning. You are my new mama warrior hero! Sending Love & Light from Utah!

Absolutely BEAUTIFUL! From a mom of two beautiful gay children, I thank you with all of my heart for filling this universe with your love and insights!

oh my goodness, you are so welcome. so very welcome. please, please, share away. no need to ask. it's for everybody.

love, g

This is an absolutely stunning piece. And you are a gorgeous human being. I am sharing this on both my personal blog and the new blog of the feature film "Facing East" I am producing (about parent's reeling at the suicide of their gay son.)

Thank you. And, bless you.

This is the most wonderful thing I've ever read. My friend showed this to me–do you mind if I link it to my blog too? Thank you for your wonderful and inspiring example.

Momastery,

I haven't yet read any of your other posts, but a friend read this to me and I had to revisit it. You have strong writing. A strong voice. And I appreciate that you are speaking out because you have the talents to make it effective.

You are so right. I hope that if I ever become a mother, that I can be like you. Heck, I aspire to be like you whether I ever have children or not. We need more people like you.
I will link this post on all online profiles I own. Thank you.

Wow… 292 comments… I can't read through 'em all so I don't know if someone else made this point:

I love the entire post but I especially love this line: "If our goal is to be tolerant of people who are different than we are… than we really are aiming quite low."

That is pure brilliance. Thank you!

This is one of the most beautiful entries I've read.
You've reminded us that we are all human. Unfortunately, I think that's soemthing quite a few poeple forget.

There are so many absolutely RIGHT things that you've said in this essay that I am just amazed.

Thank you. I needed this. Thank you.

Thank you, friends.

I will cherish these comments forever and ever.

Love, G

I am incredibly touched by this. You are such an elaborate writer and have a way of being able to reach through your words to comfort me…and other people as well. This may have been meant for Chase, but I feel as though I was meant to read it too. Thank you so very very much for sharing.

amen!

This is a very beautiful and well written letter to your son. You have my attention and praise. I just want to add that until you are 58 and you have raised a gay child to the age of 36 and gone through all the challenges of his or her life, you don't really know how you will feel. Naturally, unconditional love doesn't need words. Very few books have been written by parents of gay children – there is no "how to". Mistakes will get made, something will be said, or unsaid, that will be less than perfect. An attitude of normalcy is the most important ingredient to a gay child, not necessarily drawing attention to their "difference" by an inordinate amount of "unconditional love". Some "love" is not love, but smothering, over-parenting, over-protective, and harmful psychologically. There has to be some balance. The problem is not necessarily the parents' but other parents, or other children, or the media, or the culture – yes, they must take some responsibility. Never focus on someone's sexuality – its a personal thing, much like someone's mole, or the color of their tongue. We are all individual, but we try to fit each other into some preconceived mold. If we focus on fixing our societal behaviors, we create a loving environment.

Thank you for writing such a wonderfully heartfelt piece.

This has now become my Thanksgiving family blessing, to be read aloud year after year before partaking in the traditional holiday feast.

My partner and I will hopefully be adopting our first child soon and we hope to teach him to learn to live by every word written in this beautiful letter…

Much love,

Gilbert

I just wanted to let you know that you truly are a blessing. I am a gay mormon who is struggling with the fact that I am going to have to tell my parents that I am gay in a few months. Not only that, but also that I have found someone with whom I would like to share the rest of my life, and that we are engaged. I have hid myself from them for over fifteen year, never letting them know who I truly am, in order to conserve their love for me. I have been told by several of my friends that I need to give my parents credit, that they will love me no matter what, but with the harsh words they say towards the LGBT community and their "Agenda", of course I am wary.
I believe that this post is something that many parents should do for their children while they are young. No, it doesn't have to be strictly about homosexuality, but letting your kids know you will love them, no matter what, could save your relationship with them later on.

Thank you so much for your words! They give me hope for the future.

Brilliant. Beautiful. Thank you!

I don't understand the "not judge" part. I thought Jesus meant "condemn." Do you think he meant that the group of stonethrowers should turn around and ENCOURAGE the woman to continue in her sin? Or just kind of ignore it and say "oh well, it's just who she is?"

Everyone judges behaviors as right or wrong, and I don't see how that is necessarily hateful. If my dad is cheating on my mom and wants me to drive him to meet his girlfriend, am I supposed to just smile and say, "Sure?" If my neighbor is a peeping Tom and wants to borrow my ladder so he can better see into someone's second floor window, should I say "Sure! Let me help you set it up!" If my adult daughter is pregnant and wants me to pick up a pack of cigarettes for her while I'm at the store, do I pick up two packs to be thoughtful?

We could pick these examples apart all day but the core idea is the same: what is the extent of my responsbility to someone I love when they are practicing what I consider sin. And I am not talking about laws or legislation here, I am talking about how to behave, and how that behavior promotes or "judges," activity a Christian like me sees as sinful.

I am not writing this to provoke, and I hope it's read in the spirit in which it is written.

Thank you.

All of my love to you for this post. I truly wish I could have heard this from my parents.

Thank you for being a good human being. I wish more people in this world had this much love in their hearts.

Beautiful. That's all I can say. Thanks for sharing.

I quoted you in my blog and linked the quote to your page. I hope that is okay. If not, let me know and I will remove the quote/link.

http://soultionstothejourney.blogspot.com/2010/11/i-am-according-to-my-professors-bright.html#links

Thank you more than you could ever know.

Love,
The Fat Kid

Thank you for following your heart, being courageous and posting this! I belong to an organization that has deep dialogue among people from different faith traditions in a structured respectful setting. The healing and connection that's come from it has been remarkable. The discussion that's come from your blog post feels similar and I love it!

This is an absolutely beautiful piece. I am Jewish, and I wholeheartedly agree with every one of your thoughts. Maybe not from the same religious perspective, but from the same heartfelt parental, moral, compassionate and humanistic perspective. Essentially we all want the same good in the world.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I "found out" my daughter was gay last February. I say "found out" because I always knew. And you know what, I ALWAYS love her with the intensity that my heart aches. I couldn't care less what she "is". She is my daughter. That is all.
I stole a quote from you. "Do not be afraid of people who seem different than you. Different always turns out to be an illusion. Look hard." Amazingly said. Again, Thank you!!

Loved it. Thanks!

thank you so much for that letter to your son. it made me tear up. as a bisexual child of devout christians, i would give anything to hear my parents say that. unfortunately, i have heard them refer to the depravity of homosexuality too many times to tell them who i am. it is refreshing to see that there are a few christian parents out there who choose to love unconditionally.

Thank you, Glennon. I wish more Christians I heard about and read about were more like you: thoughtful, creative, loving, ethical, principled.

I cried a little.

Sheesh you've got a lot of comments here. You should check out the book "Loving Homosexuals as Jesus Would" by Chad Thompson, it follows somewhat closely with your views. The books focus is on teaching Christians to LOVE those with whom they disagree regardless of their theologies…

Thank you for writing this. I do not label myself as "christian" but I believe that we are all God and God is love. It's really as simply as that although it seems like such a challenge in our world. In any event, THANK YOU for shining your own particular light!!

–Deb R (Northern California)

Hello,

I discovered this post via a Facebook post from a friend. I wanted to comment on some of the things you said, and I want to be respectful, while at the same time, disagree.

There was one passage in particular that I found particularly disagreeable, and it was this one: "Children are not cruel. Children are mirrors. They want to be 'grown-up.' So they act how grown-ups act when we think they’re not looking. They do not act how we tell them to act at school assemblies. They act how we really act. They believe what we believe. They say what we say." Perhaps this boils down to a simple nature/nuture question, but aren't there cruel children out there who were raised by perfectly loving parents? Why are some kids bullies, when their siblings are not? Because the logical conclusion that flows from your belief is that if children simply mimic what their parents do, it seems as though you are arguing that they do not have independent thoughts and are not capable of any actions not learned from caregivers or society as a whole. Perhaps this was not your intent, but this is what your argument seems to boil down to, at least for me.

Another quote that I had a problem with: "I don’t know much. But I know that each time I see something heartbreaking on the news, each time I encounter a problem outside, the answer to the problem is inside. The problem is AWAYS me and the solution is ALWAYS me. If I want my world to be less vicious, then I must become more gentle." I appreciate the general sentiment, which seems to be a variation on, "I must be the change I wish to see in the world." But to say that the problem is "always" me? When someone who you don't know and who you can't influence does something unspeakable, how can you or I take any responsibility for that?

Finally, when you write, "And people are sensitive. People are heart-breakingly sensitive," isn't that part of the problem? Should we be teaching our children that perhaps they shouldn't be so sensitive? OK, someone called you a bad name. OK, someone wrote something nasty about you online. OK, your feelings are hurt. Welcome to the world we live in, kid. Is such cruelty right or just? Of course not, nor am I arguing that it is. Should we all strive to try and do better? Of course. Should we just turn a blind eye to and accept cruelty? No, never. But part of living in the world is understanding that sometimes not everyone is going to like you. And I am arguing that if a bully is being verbally mean to your kid, there's a lot of power in developing a thicker skin.

Finally, I would like to reiterate that I respect your views and I can certainly see where you're coming from, even though I do respectfully disagree. If I have misconstrued or in any way misinterpreted some of these thoughts, I would welcome further dialogue.

Thanks,

Chris

You rock. This Daddy teared up a little too.

Just a quick note, a different view point, when the Bible says that a man should not lay with a man, I believe it means that a strait man should not lay with a strait man, as that would be in fact the unnatural act they all scream about,but it is time we see homosexuality as a different race altogether and not included in that reference.

I need to read through your other writing now that I have read this. Beautifully done! When is your first novel due? We need more writers like you.

Beautiful. Thank you for the excellent perspective!

All you have written here was beautiful. Thank you.

If I had a comment to make it would be that you could replace "Christian" with "Human Being" and it all works as well. We are all human beings living here together. I don't know if Christians have a higher calling but I do know we are all part of the whole and have responsibilities to each other.

Thanks once again.

Truly amazing post that gets at the heart of the matter. Count me as a new fan!

Eve,

You were right. . . I needed that.

Thank you.

Love, G

So many responses. I ask myself if you really need one more. Then I remember that it is polite and kind to show appreciation when someone says or does something noteworthy. I think your post is noteworthy, so I needed to make this comment whether you needed it or not. I've always believed the the answer to bullying started with the adults. You have put it very nicely.

Who are my people? My People, with a capital P, maybe. Could be Caucasian. Could be male, I suppose. Brunets? Shorter-than-average! I think that persecution helps to strengthen feelings of community. Thus my biggest sense of belonging can come from two groups, and they both could be called Queer: non-straight in a romantic and sexual sense, and Just Plain Different (in nearly any sense).

But I try to remember something I saw on a t-shirt long ago. One race: human. Sometimes, when I am able to see that far, my people are all the people here.

As for what the Bible says, I find it to be of extremely small interest. Not zero; it holds a little interest for me. But I really wish some people (not all, just some) would remember this: I do not have to care. It's interesting that there is this book, and all these people interested in it. But it does not govern my life, and never will. Never. Too bad. That's it: if someone doesn't like that, too bad! I do not have to "submit" to someone's god. And if a Christian thinks about it, I wonder, will he find something that says, "Go ye, and attack and subjugate people in My name, and force them to worship Me"? That is how I see people behave sometimes. And my answer is NO! I do not have to care. My giving-a-darn goes as far as respecting the good I see people do in the name of their god or religion or belief-set, in not disturbing them as long as they are not harming people or advocating harm. In protecting them, HELPING them to worship or practice their beliefs if someone tries to make them stop. No, I will not submit to someone else's beliefs. Rather, I would demand that we all submit to each other.

One last thing: hooray for the lady who is learning from the mother of Jesus! And I'll shut up. Thanks.

Chris F. from Arlington, Texas

*Yes, I do find our alphabet soup to be a little amusing sometimes. Not that including someone is ridiculous idea; just that the growing label and the fact that we have overcome some divisiveness are wonderful!

Wow. I like seeing that we are different, and the same. I don't see that I could ever believe in a god (or gods). But I feel I would be very foolish to say, "There can't be such a thing." That's why I'd say I'm agnostic.

Remember the "Branch Davidians"? It took me a while to connect Davidian with their leader's name, David. And quite some time later I made the connection with Christian. The suffix, -ian, seems to mean "of, or from." And sometimes "like," or even maybe "following"?

So it struck me: a Christian is someone who is "of Christ." Or perhaps "like Christ." Or more thruthfully for us humans, "striving to become more Christlike." This has been part of a long, long realization to me that Christians are not all harsh people. Or all hate-filled people. Or mean, demanding, cruel people. Well, of course not! After all, not all gay people are [fill in the blank]. Thank you for being part of my long journey of learning about people.

As for things like this: "They themselves are evidence of the sweetest joys of life that they will be missing if they choose a gay or lesbian lifestyle." It is NOT a "lifestyle." That is a lie made up by people who hate and fear us. WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME. THERE IS NO LIFESTYLE. Nor can I think of anyone I've met who says he or she chose a sexuality. I've known thousands of gay lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and asexual people. Admittedly, few asexual folks. And lots more who are straight. And some who didn't know, weren't sure, didn't like feeling pressed to pick a label, or just didn't care. I can't think of one who ever said, "Yeah, I picked this out of all the options I had." I've never had anyone explain to me: just what is The Straight Lifestyle? :p

And the second part of that. What, somehow LGBTQ BFD OICUR12* people are not able to have children? Wow. That's news to me. I'm sure that the lesbian moms who have commented here will also be surprised to learn that they really don't have any children and thus have missed out on this "sweetest joy in life." I have always had trouble dealing with irrational people; so people making things up and saying them as if they are truth really get under my skin. As one should expect, it bothers me more when the lies and made-up "facts" are about my own people.

So I shall continue to seek the truth about the many people who pick the label "Christian" for themselves. And I will continue to refrain from lying and spreading malicious falsehoods about them. I only wish every single one of them — and all of my people in this sense, the sexual outlaws — would do the same.
Chris F. from Arlington, Texas

how beautifully you merge love, truth, and good old fashioned common sense. i feel privileged to have come across this!

Glennon —

Greetings from an agnostic Zen Buddhist with no kids who thinks this is a beautiful and courageous piece of writing. Thank you for posting it.

You might appreciate one of my favorite quotes, from the leader of a Sikh congregation in Birmingham, England:

"My faith tradition tells me that to have a 'tolerant' society is to demean society. If I say that I will tolerate you, I am demeaning you. If I say that I will accept you, I am still demeaning you. Now if I was to say, 'I will respect you,' that would be slightly better. But what if I said, 'I will lay down my life for you!'? You have to try and have that kind of spirit of sacrifice."
—Bhai Sahib Bhai Mohinder Singh,
Chairman, Guru Nanak Nishkam Sewak Jatha

Warm regards and best wishes to you and yours. With parents like you and your husband, I think your kids will be able to do anything they put their minds to, while still being true to their hearts and the values you're teaching them.

Beautiful words.

The only thing I'd disagree with a little bit is your assertion that children always learn cruelty from adults. I grew up with six younger siblings, and we were all so different, especially as children. Some of us had more of a… talent for cruelty. I guess none of us was cruel in the heart, but even though we were all from the same background, some of us were better at teasing and ridicule than others. I think children often learn cruelty from their peers, as a way to be viewed as popular or to fit in.

"The truth is that every Christian is a Christian who picks and chooses what to follow in the Bible."

Oh my, yes. I found your post through a friend on Facebook, and I am so grateful for this.

Thank you, Glennon.

I really appreciate this blog post's emphasis on expressing the love of God to others regardless of who they are or what they do. However, I had a couple thoughts.

I believe in an omnipotent, omniscient God. This means that I believe He is able to make sure that a book about Him will not misrepresent him. Does that mean I understand the reasons why he put something in the Bible that doesn't automatically make me feel warm and fuzzy? Nope. I think people who read (and believe) that the bible is truly the word of God will wrestle with this at some point. The limits we place on the bible could eventually transition us from a savior-based ethos based on divine grace, sovereign power, and love-filled mercy to an grab-bag morality that doesn't necessarily require God's presence unless it's convenient. It could be a function of how much we believe we need saving, or whether we merely believe *in* Christ or we know Christ. I think these are tough things to think about.

The other point I wanted to make is that the reference to judgment regards Christians holding like-minded believers to the same code. For example, I can't expect a person who doesn't believe that Jesus is God to behave in the same ways or place similar significance on certain things. Ultimately, I think God is the judge of right and wrong, and the Bible provides guidelines as to what those delineations are. While I understand that folks will disagree on secondary issues in Christianity, I do believe that topics such as this create much-needed opportunities to explore our limitations and experiences as humans and how these effects impact how we approach Jesus, the Bible, and our lives.

Lastly, I'd like to make a difference between accepting a person and agreeing with a person. For example, hypothetically, if I had a child who identified as gay, I would not love them any more or any less than before. I might not agree with what they identify as, but disagreement does not mean a lack of acceptance. I accept all people because Christ accepts me, and I want to be as much like him as I can.

I couldn't pass this by without commenting.

I cannot help but feel that to write this took a lot of courage, and I wanted to reach out and say that you're not the only one bothered by this concept of 'tolerance', when 'celebration' is the actual word we're looking for. Your son is lucky to grow up with such love around him.

This straight Christian mama says, "Amen!" What a lovely, wonderful letter.

This is beautiful, thank you so much for sharing.

Very well written. Touched my heart.

Amazing blog post. This speaks words that I've thought recently, as a mom of three. You've spoken it well. And that letter to Chase? Amazing. Thanks for the inspiration and support from the web.

-Carla from Chicago

Dearest Glennon,

A link led me to this essay, which captivated me with such force that I could do nothing for hours but read, and read, and read, as I tried to soak up as much wisdom and insight and LOVE as I could possibly handle from your beautiful writings. I read every single entry, but came back to this one to share my adoration, because as you said in your subsequent post, this is the best one of all. In fact, it's the best thing I've read online in a long long time. There's so much it evokes in me, but the most frequent response as I read through each sentence is, "Exactly!"

I am a 28-year-old woman and have spent my short adult life helping other people raise their children, until such time as God brings me my own. I'm not one to boast, but I'm very good at it. God blessed me with a natural gift for mothering. However, as a teacher and a nanny, I have endured many heartaches from seeing children reach in vain for the kind of love and acceptance you so willingly offered your son in the above letter. A parent withholding unconditional love from his or her child is a terrible thing, but doing so under the guise of religious legalism is a far worse crime. It's hard enough when a parent tells you that you are not okay. But to then add, "And God doesn't think you're okay, either" does irreparable harm, even to adult children.

You are the kind of mother that the world needs more of. You are the kind of mother who shows her children what the love of God is really like, in spite of what institutionalized religion distorts it to be. Thank you for being willing to take on this position of such transparency, so as to allow anyone who comes by to see and emulate the beautiful heart that God has created in you. Making your journey so highly visible is not without its hard times, I'm sure, but I hope that the hundreds of comments similar to this one buoy you up in those moments, and allow you to rest in the love and appreciation of this whole Monkee family you have created.

With love and admiration,
Rachael

I have to say that I was reading this while watching The Nate Berkus Show. I had to laugh 🙂 Your words are indeed beautiful – thank you. Thank you for writing what was in your heart.

Kristin _ The Goat
(by way of Mrs. 4444's Saturday Sampling)

Bravo & Beautiful! Wonderfully beautiful! A very moving tribute honoring yourself, your thoughts, your beliefs, your husband and your child! If every one could be this open minded in thier beliefs, parenting and heart we would have a much better planet!

A Woman's Haven
http://onewomenshaven.blogspot.com/
I would like to link up on my weekly post of Gathering Inspiration and gratitude. Do you mind?

Wow…just wow. Perfect.
Essential and brilliant essay!
I just want to add why the issue of being gay, is different from the others mentioned. Especially being fat, or Muslim.

I don't know why a gay person has to debate whether they CHOOSE to be gay, and on the decision straight people make about that, use the contingent of equal and civil rights.

When gay people have been a part of all human life and history without exception, then the biological component is not only evident, but irrefutable.
How COULD someone hetero argue with someone gay about being gay and what it is and how it feels?

Would a parent accept their child being taught about Jews and being Jewish from a non Jewish anti Semite?
About blacks from a segregationist, with no blacks in sight to contradict them?

Then why DOES our society, make an environment SO hostile to even a gay CHILD, that the truth and honesty of who they are will be impossibly compromised?
And with Jim Crow like laws in place to maintain de facto segregation between gay and straight people, then success in educating the truth, is lost.

There are people who convert TO Islam and become Muslim. The reverse is possible too. Fat people can become slender, but there are real physical and health related consequences to being fat.
Obviously, whether or not being gay is a choice, shouldn't be debated.
Because as being a woman or black, and their biological legitimacy didn't provide protection from brutal discrimination and bigotry.

But there are nuances to the fact that others besides gays are bullied.
That is to say, neither being fat or Muslim is a permanent condition, and there are no laws that specifically deny people in these categories full EQUAL rights.
Indeed, it's written into the Constitution, whereas specific protection FOR homosexuals is not.
And state Constitutions and DOMA represent a Constitutional exception to discriminate against gay people exclusively.

And fat and Muslim children aren't likely to be forced into religious disciplines on condition of being kicked out of the house and renounced by their parents.

No, this issue is still remarkably and painfully more distinct for gay people, because society continues to distinguish gay people as anything from threatening to children, to all mankind itself.
Gay people are dehumanized and maligned and always have been in the more influential human societies.
And still are.

Yes, children are being employed as the foot soldiers against gay children (or children perceived to be). At that level, actually being gay doesn't matter. Just so the stereotype fits, and the war is on on the schoolyard and in the halls, at home and in the workplace or supportive institutions like the Boy Scouts.

The family advocate groups out there further maligned the effort to prevent and discuss this issue as rooted in 'the militant homosexual agenda'.
And the efforts of groups like FRC and NOM and so on, portrays gay people as the bullies and themselves as the victims of it.

The hypocrisy runs deep. So does amnesia with regard to history, and denial when it comes to facts and evidence.
There is no time for this.
Children, are literally dying and needlessly so.
This, as momestary is pointing out, was NEVER about the children.

But about the adults, and their lack of courage to truly instill in their children the values that are empathy and the moral courage to believe that being gay isn't and never was a choice.
And that treating a person the way you'd want to be treated is a directive that all adults are supposed to be comfortable with teaching.

Wow, inspirational. Thank you!

(I found the link to here from 'Ex-Gay Watch' blog (they watch the horrifying organizations who turn gays into 'ex-gays' (or try to)) – so thanks to them for helping me find you!

Cheers
Nick

I am humbled and amazed at reading this; apparently you and I believe in the same God and the Same Bible-I LOVED this, am bookmarking it for my own children to read as well.

Even Nate Berkus would love this.

What a beautiful and honest post.

you've got a pastor's wife in charlotte who echoes your sentiment for my sons. thanks for sharing it so beautifully. seriously one of the most beautiful and true things i've read in a long time.

Wish I'd had a mom like you.

But because of this simple kindness you've extended – at least a few more kids will HAVE moms like you. God bless you, wonderful lady.

Cleve

Glennon, I saw this on Facebook twice. I overlooked it the first time and decided to click through the second. As I read it, I was immediately reminded of this posting on your blog and wanted to share it with you.

http://nerdyapplebottom.com/2010/11/02/my-son-is-gay/

S

Your words to your son are a like a balm. I came out to my parents almost 15 years ago. While they are slowly coming around, and I am coming to accept this as the way it's going to be, there's a small part of me that longs to hear words such as yours from them. You may already have an inkling of what you've done for your son, but as someone who never received such thoughtful parenting; I thank you.

I can't put a big enough "A" and my "Amen to that, sister!" So beautifully put.

Also? I totally want Nate Berkus to jump out of my next birthday cake.

An absolutely amazing blog entry. It 110% reflects the way that I feel, and I love how you were able to put it into words so eloquently. And I can't disagree about Nate. LOL.

Thank you for this beautiful post. I love the image from one of your comments about your husband questioning you for staying up late researching — that's totally something I would do!

I chanced upon your blog through a link to this post in the comments section of a Sojourner's article on bullying and I'm so glad I did. Now I reading old posts and loving them too.

Thank you for providing a place where this conversation can take place in an atmosphere of mutual respect.

"This blog is full of God's Love and Grace."
this is true, and the church through the ages has been guilty of stressing the rules rather than the Love of God. Unfortunately this blog overlooks other aspects of God's character that are also part of who God is. God is also Righteous and Just. The bible is quite clear that we are all sinners and there is no distinction between kinds of sin and all of us are equally guilty and deserve the wages of sin.
The Bible is clear that forgiveness and salvation ARE freely available to ANYONE who accepts their need for forgiveness and renewal in Christ. Unfortunately not everyone recognizes their need for Christ and submission to His will. Therefore not "everyone is in".
As Christians we are called to love everyone and serve others as Christ loved and served us. However there is a difference between loving a person and encouraging their sin.
I'm sorry if this comment offends anyone but if we are going to use the bible as our prime source of truth then we need to treat it honestly. The references to a women speaking in church and not having her hair covered are taken out of context and were actually part of Paul's teaching on something else, ie culturally appropriate behavior. Paul does acknowledge female leaders in the church of his day and assumes that women will take part in the church of his day.

This blog is full of God's Love and Grace.
I pray it opens hearts and minds to God's heart.

Glennon,

I've been recently following your blog and was touched so deeply by your most recent post. I, like you, am a mom. I am inspired by your message of love. Like you, also, I have been keeping a blog since my twin boys were born (now age 4 1/2). I wrote an article about you on my blog and about baby Evy's need for support. My blog is:

http://thedruryfam.blogspot.com (the drury fam dot blogspot dot com)

Thank you for your inspirational words…I wish there were more people in this world like you!

Shelley

just deciding which body part is best for tattooing this entire post on. THANK YOU.

Awesome. From one Mom to another. Really Awesome.

Thank you. Just, thank you for putting this out in a world that is often so full of criticism and aggression.

You have said what my heart has always felt-but have put it into words much more eloquently than I ever could. I get so frustrated and emotional about it that I have trouble organizing my words in a way that comes across as loving and compassionate and level-headed as you- I'm so speechless over this that I just cannot say any more. Bless you a hundred thousand times. This needs to be published on the front page of the New York Times and preached from every pulpit. AMEN, Sister. . .and Thank you. . .I intend to share this with everyone I can. . .

Sarah

Jvazzana,

You are going to give the post to "passing individuals." That is perfect and really, really funny.

Thanks for the encouragement, friend.

G

I am going to copy the letter, and will have it on hand at all times to give to my kids, friends, or just the passing individual. Preach it, sister.

Thank you for your words..from God. I have been a Christian many years. My oldest son, now 45 is gay. He struggled much in his life and still does. I suffered much as his mother, mostly from other "Christians" because of him. But, you cannot not kill the mothers heart, and we cannot pick and choose, as you so eloquently put it. God since has brought us to the Catholic church, this was many years ago.It was there that Jesus healed my soul and it came from HIS blessed mother. Words of love and comfort, from the mother of our Lord herself. She said she knew my suffering, she walked that on this earth. Her son was rejected, even by his own,was bullied,and beaten and put to death on the cross. So your words could have come to me many years ago, but Jesus was faithful, and I learned the heart of Mary, and I keep her close by for all my children. I thank God that you have written this for all who need to hear. Blessing to you for obeying and walking your calling to share.

Anyone who thinks being gay is "wrong" needs to have their head examined. Sorry, but this is 2010, and those still living in the stone age need to wake up. It makes no difference between gay and straight, and shouldn't be anyone else's concern. The fact that this is even an issue in 2010 is pathetic. (And I am a straight, white, male, i.e., I am "The Man", but even my dumb a$$ can see the obviousness of this).

Good essay, though. Well done.

Thank you for saying it, MK. I think that is the part that so many people miss. At no time did I CHOOSE to be straight. There was never a moment in my life when I felt that I needed to decide if I was going to be attracted to men and not women. I can't imagine anyone waking up one morning and "deciding" to be attracted to one gender or the other. Sexuality is so deeply ingrained in us that the idea that I could choose to be attracted to women instead of men is unimaginable. Why would I believe that it would be different for anyone else? Attraction is chemical. As human beings we have the option to act on those attractions or not. The idea of telling my children that they may not be true to themselves and that must choose to be something they are not is abhorent to me, much more so than the idea of homosexuality. I don't believe that love is a sin. Its that simple for me.

Mortiko…

Love you. God Bless.

G

MK. You are making me laugh and making me proud to be your friend.:)

Thank you, all of you. You are brave and kind and we are doing hard things! We are doing hard things! I have already had too much coffee!!!

Mortiko, when I chose to be straight, I did it because it was the right thing to do. (Laughter here, please)

The silliness of that statement is what causes me to believe that there is no eternal damnation for homosexuality any more than there's eternal damnation for my attraction to men. I'm sorry you're hurting and I wish I were your mom.
:)MK
(PS – I'm a Sunday School teacher, former deacon at my church, and lifelong Christian. Just FYI.)

You may see this, you may not.. but in case you do..

Thank you. Thank you so much. I read this and reblogged it immediately so others could read it. Thank you for your unconditional love for your child, regardless of how he turns out.
I am a gay man in my mid 20s, who is afraid to come out. My parents pick and choose in the Bible, but hold firm of the eternal damnation in homosexuality.
Thank you for showing me that not all religious people feel this way.

I wonder if you will ever know, if it is possible to know, the impact you have had on so many. Somehow, I hope, you just know it. Know it. You are doing good.

I must admit that I was tentative to come back and read any reaction there might be to my comments. Instead of a huffy silence or accusing glares, I feel as though I’ve snuggled into a couch next to a bunch of friends that I really, really like. Yes, we’re way different, but we LIKE each other, and that’s just the way it’s gonna’ be! You are amazing, Glennon. Definitely good stuff.

Hi! I just wanted to say i think you have definently hit the nail on the head with saying our children are mirrors of ourselves and their actions reflect us. You are so right! It is so easy to do or say things in the moment sometimes and forget we ALWAYS have innocent impressionable little eyes and ears on us even when we think they aren't! I have gone to church ever since i was little and i do differ in opinion on one thing that was said. I realize some people may "pick and choose" what parts to believe in The Bible to suit their own lives, but just because others do this doesn't make it right and doesn't excuse me from doing it as well. I fully believe that God wants us to and we are to accept and love everyone no matter what our differences may be. Would i accept and love my child if he/she were gay? Absolutely i would and always will. Do i accept and love others that are gay? Absolutely i do. But does that mean i have to go to the extent to say it's ok and it's not a sin? Definently not, that is not my place to say. The Bible states it is a sin. To me, if i chose to teach my children this wasn't a sin then i am also teaching them that adultery, gossip, murder, stealing, etc (the list could go on and on) are not sins and are all ok if we choose for them to be, then what would i be teaching my children? I think this would only confuse matters more. We are all human and will make mistakes and sin, it's just human nature, but aren't we so lucky to have the grace of God behind us! To me, the best thing i could ever teach my children is to love, accept and respect all others no matter what our differences are because no 2 people are the same and whatever decisions they decide to make i will love and stand by them until the end of time, i believe unconditional love for our children and the rest of the world as well is the key. Nobody is perfect and i certainly do not claim to be either these are just my beliefs and opinions that i wanted to share as well, i am only human like everyone else just trying my best to live my life as i believe God would want me to by practicing that golden rule and treating others how i would want to be treated. We are certainly NOT the judges of others and need to teach our children this by example, it starts with us. I really appreciate and respect your thoughts on this and caring enough to share this post and i just wanted to share mine with you as well!

Thank You!!!!!!
Love this! I need to look at/in myself ALWAYS!
Thank You!

Cinnamon,

You are in, and you are brave, too. So you are TWO things right off the bat.

We do not all have to agree. If our goal is to get everyone to AGREE, then we should all give up now, because that's not going to happen. But it is LOOKING like we might be able to disagree with love and respect and tenderness and care.

Good stuff, right? I think that's a worthy goal.

Love G

MK.

ROCK ON, SISTER!

G

What you have written is beautiful and so very true. We are to love unconditionally and we are not here to judge one another. Thank you so much for sharing!

Can I print this out, frame it and hang it in the nursery we are decorating for our first baby? Seriously? I could not say it better.

Thank you so very much.