The most important thing in the world to me today is that you understand what my fierce, tender warrior heart is saying to your fierce, tender warrior heart in this essay.
It has come to my very concerned attention that since:
- My new book Love Warrior is about my husband’s infidelity (we’re just gonna keep saying that out loud ‘till it gets less scary); and
- We are still married,
There is some confusion about my beliefs and Love Warrior’s message on marriage, infidelity, divorce, and redemption.
I received these brutiful emails (and more like them) from my fellow sister Love Warriors since announcing my new book last week:
“My life was shattered in a million pieces when my “perfect” “doting” “amazing dad” of a husband decided he was done with me and the kids. You, my church, my tribe of sisters, and most of all God have healed me. I so badly want to read your new book but…will it apply to someone who’s marriage wasn’t healed? I just don’t know if your new book is for people like me, I want it to be.”
“I am so happy for you and your marriage—and that you’ve written the story of its redemption. I’m sure it will encourage those of us who are still striving for that. I’m just so scared and exhausted from the struggle—what if my marriage is never redeemed? What does my road look like of it doesn’t match yours?”
After walking through Sister’s divorce and remarriage, my own separation and reconciliation, and reading the stories from women around the globe about love lost and found, I have come to believe this:
I do not believe that every marriage should be saved. I’ve seen too much and listened too hard to believe that. I do not value marriage more than I value the individual souls inside of marriage. And I do not judge a love’s worth by how it ends. I do not. I believe that NO LOVE IS WASTED. 
Love is worthy of the time and sweat and tears it takes from us simply because it changes both lovers forever—whether they stay or go.
I stayed. For many reasons—most of which can’t even be put into words they’re so visceral and true and low and high.
Sister left. For many reasons—most of which can’t even be put into words they’re so visceral and true and low and high.
We both did the right thing. We both poured the same amount of love and hope and work into our marriages—one that ended and one that began again.
Listen to me: Some loves are perennials—they survive the winter and bloom again. Other loves are annuals—beautiful and lush and full for a season and then back to the Earth to die and create richer soil for new life to grow. The eventual result of both types of plants is New Life.
New life for annual and perennial plants. New love for annual and perennial loves. Nothing wasted. No such thing as failure. Love never fails. Never never. Are you still married? Your love did not fail. Are you divorced? Once? Twice? A third time? Your love did not fail. It made you who you are inside of THIS VERY moment. Love never fails.
When Craig and I separated, I was approached by groups asking me to be a poster girl for Leaving.
When we reunited, I was approached by groups asking me to be a poster girl for Staying.
HELL NO. I said to all the groups.
Here is what I will be the poster girl for:
Does a Love Warrior Go? YES. If that’s what her deepest wisdom tells her to do. Does a Love Warrior Stay? YES. If that’s what her deepest wisdom tells her to do. Both roads are hard. AND BOTH ROADS LEAD TO REDEMPTION.
And one more thing, my beloveds. Let’s together pledge to quit wringing our hands and rolling our eyes and throwing out sweeping judgments like these:
People just throw away marriages these days.
It’s so sad, how easily marriages are discarded.
People used to fight for their marriages.
Sigh. Another one bites the dust. Pathetic, really.
These ridiculous things are insults to every woman and every man who has fought and loved and cried and struggled and tried, tried, tried and still discovered that their love was an annual.
I have met hundreds, thousands of women whose marriages ended. Not a single one of them “threw away her marriage.” Women treasure their marriages. That divorced friend of ours treasured her marriage as much as we treasure ours. Let’s not add insult to her injury by suggesting that her marriage didn’t survive because of a lack of caring. I have held women’s hands while they cried and I listened, listened, listened and I have found that to be true this many times: ZERO. Never. We must stop throwing around judgmental daggers like those silly proclamations. There but for the grace of God go we: TRUST ME ON THAT ONE.
When a sister makes a choice—or is left without a choice—and she stays, or she goes, this is what we do: We take her by the hand and we have her back—knowing that more blood and sweat and tears went into that choice or lack of choice then we can imagine. Knowing that her reasons are likely too true and deep and low and high for words.
We do not require from her an explanation. We require from ourselves SISTERHOOD.
To answer your questions: Love Warrior is not how I saved my marriage, for God’s sake.
It’s about how I begged God for an answer to this question:
IS THERE ANYONE WHO WON’T BETRAY ME?
And how over time, God said:
YES, GLENNON. THERE IS. LOOK IN THAT MIRROR.
YOU.
YOU WON’T BETRAY YOU.
Let us become women who refuse to betray ourselves no matter WHO. DOES. WHAT.
I love you more than is appropriate or logical.
G
P.S. This part is really important to me and it will make some people angry and I don’t care.
Dearest, Precious Beloveds who cheated, the “other women”:
You are safe with me—and you are safe with us—and you are safe with this book.
The hardest, best thing I’ve ever learned in my life—the truth that this brutal time taught me is this: There IS NO forgiveness for me unless there is forgiveness for all. Grace cannot be personal if it is not universal. You cannot receive grace without disclaimers if you do not offer grace without disclaimers.
So listen to me: Maybe you got sex confused with love. I get that because I got booze confused with love for decades. And I hurt people I love, too. And I really, really need you to know that to me the world is not divided into the wives and the other women. Just not at all, anymore. I put us all into one big flailing heap of folks desperate for love—and sometimes settling for dangerous almost love. And then forgiving ourselves, and trying again—trying better, trying truer.
And to those who were cheated on—who are not yet ready to forgive: You are safe with me, too. Love is patient. Release will come when it comes and it will not come one second too early or late. Let the pain do its work. We will wait forever.
SISTER ON, MY LOVE WARRIOR ARMY. HOLD HANDS WITHOUT CHECKING TO SEE WHO’S HAND YOU’RE HOLDING AND MARCH FORWARD, TOGETHER. WE CAN DO HARD THINGS BECAUSE WE BELONG TO EACH OTHER.
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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277 Comments
I’m happy to share my story with the world today of how my marriage was restored back to me by a wonderful Awakened healer and also a prophetess . My husband started changing on me after 9 years of marriage and I couldn’t imagine what happened but I couldn’t let my marriage go down the drain either, so I met with a prophetess who helped me restore my marriage as it should be. If you need her assistance in any problem you may be facing, be Finance, love, favor, Cure for illness, happiness, get pregnant, if you are facing abuse and you want it stopped, win the lottery, want your ex back or Banish a toxic ex etc she can offer a spiritual life standing solution, your location doesn’t matter.
Hello everyone, if you need help to get your Ex lover back search for Dr Peter on internet and contact him.
Beautifully written and profoundly insightful. Your perspective on marriage, divorce, and redemption is both compassionate and inspiring. Thank you for sharing this wisdom.
Marriage is great…. Ever thought about playing nintendo switch games with your wife 🙂
I requested a solution to my marital crisis because I don’t want my kids to grow up without their father, The man I love so much. The temple priestess did a love ritual that made my husband apologize and remorsefully begged for my forgiveness and also from our kids in less than 12 hours after the rituals. thanks to love temple who came to my rescue. Priestess at (sango priestess love solution AT outlook. c o m )
I AM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN ON EARTH RIGHT NOW FOR NOT LOSING MY HUSBAND TO THE DAUGHTER OF JEZEBEL. So sad My Husband was having an affair with a college girl whom he didn’t know I knew about. Everything little mistake my husband would pick on me and leave the house for weeks.
The last time he left he didn’t come back home for 2 months only to return with divorce papers when I am only 4 months pregnant with our third child. I had to seek help from (love solution temple. c om
No matter where you stand on Ms. Doyle’s decisions, I think we can all agree that the people selling love spells and herbal supplements in this comments section are the greatest love warriors of all.
I honestly don’t know what I would have done without Lord SAN
hey looking good here
Greetings to anyone reading my comment, I got married to my wife Lopez, and we were going smooth and happy. it came to an extend my wife Lopez who used to love me, didn’t have time for me anymore, until i found out she was having an affair outside, i tried to confronted her and remind her of our past struggles together that made us who we were today, Sadly she didn’t listened to me but divorced me and went to this guy. i cried all day like some of kid, i was in pains, and desperately looking for help on internet where i saw lot of comments and posts how people win their spouse back, i read about DR MUNA helped people with his love and reuniting spell. I decided to contact him and explain what has been bothering me to DR MUNA. He did a love spell that made my wife to came back and never think or see that guy again. Honestly DR MUNA is God sent to restore heart breaks and reunite relationship. I dont know how to pay you back DR but I promised to be ever grateful and i will continue publishing your good work. may the good lord be your strength and continue to use you to save people Here is DR MUNA Email ID marvelspelltemple@ gmail. com
CONTACT…… E-MAIL: dr_mack@ (yahoo). com, i promise you will have your lover back in 3 days, mine came back in 3 days
CONTACT……E-MAIL: dr_mack@ (yahoo). com, i promise you will have your lover back in 3 days, mine came back in 3 days
tried to make up with him multiple times, trying to talk to him but everything failed and I don’t know what to do. He told me that he has stopped thinking about me, I tried to act normal, I feel confused and worse because I end up seeing him everyday. It just bugs me that he has moved on pretty quickly and I am feeling rejected and dejected. but i am happy today that Dr Mack brought my boyfriend back, I am so happy, Now my boyfriend is all mine again. I’m happy again Great help from Dr Mack, I truly believe in him and his work. he is a professional. I really enjoyed the result which i got, his love spell is marvelous, he is truly gifted, his love spell has brought me happiness, I am extremely pleased, it worked, he has the most powerful love spell, I recommend anyone who need his or her Ex-lover back should search {{ (dr_mack@ yahoo. com’,”)}} on net or search him anywhere he is Very trustworthy…………..
Very insightful!!
Hi did he charge you and is he based in Nigeria. I contacted him he charged me $300 aud then asked for $850 for some ritual then $1850 to send something to me which I didn’t pay yet. So did he charge you.
Never underestimate the power of spell casting. My name is Elena S Murphy and i am in great thanksgiving with the work of Prophet Agidigba who help me get my ex husband back. I want to share this joy and make people know this man and get their relationship back together. My husband left me for over 5 years with two of our kids. He met his ex girlfriend, Stacy and they both traveled to Florida and he did not come home until I read about Prophet Agidigba how he is helping people get their ex back and making women fertile, I had to contact him at agidigbaspelltemple@ gmail. com and within 24 hours he helped me bring my ex husband back to me. My husband called me immediately Prophet told me he has done the work and I was very shocked. I am very happy that I am the one writing this testimony and now i am living happily with my husband. If you are searching to get him back, do not worry, EMAIL him via agidigbaspelltemple@ gmail. com and let him help you
Thanks very much for sharing this.
It is necessary to read more such messages
My husband cheated on me for Almost for three years. he ignored me for several months and left me with nothing, but i am happy today that Papa Ork brought my husband back, I am so happy, Now my husband is all mine again. I can now say I’m happy again. Great help from Papa Ork, he is genuine. I truly believe in him and his work. he is a professional. I really enjoyed the result which i got, his love spell is marvelous, he is truly gifted, his love spell has brought me happiness, I am extremely pleased, it worked out to my test, he has the most powerful love spell, I recommend his love spell to anyone who is ready to get his or her lover back, this is his Email: ( orkstarspell@ gmail. com )
Herbal supplements have existed for thousands of years and can be traced during several different cultures. As for now. Herbs are now used to cure Diabetic Herpes, Chronic Pain, Asthma Regurgitation, Chest Pain, Nausea, Dysphagia, Hiccups, even Sore Throat and Heartburn. I love herbs so much. Most times, injection and drugs are just a waste of time. I was cured of Sore Throat and Heartburn disease last year with the use of herbs and super soap, i suffered from Sore Throat and Heartburn for 13 years but with the help of DR. AKHIGBE herbal medicine, i was cured within few weeks of using the herbs and super soap which he sent to me through DHL delivery service
I am so happy this year because the only man i love with my life who left me many years ago is back to me last week through the help of Papa Ork on the 2nd of July 2017 i came across a testimony which said Papa Ork help him to get his girlfriend back so i decided to contact Papa ORk through his email at:(Orkstarspell@gmail. com), to my greatest surprise yesterday my ex Husband called me and beg me to reconsider him into my life and today we are living happily as one family again through the help of Papa. if you want your ex back or you want your lover to love you and stay with you forever contact him now through his email above or visit orkstarspell. tk.
I have been suffering from breakup issues with different guys. my relationship don’t last up 2 months, my last boyfriend broke up 6 months ago and left me heartbroken, i fell sick and my problem became very very difficult and it made me almost gave up. I was going through an article and found out about a man called Dr Mack. i had to contact Dr_Mack@yahoo. com to restore my relationship, and he told me i will have my boyfriend back in 3 days, i stayed positive and believe i could have him back and make him stay. my relationship was restored instantly, I was happy that the outcome was fantastic, only 3 days after Dr Mack started it all. Never in my life have I thought this would work so fast. My boyfriend reconcile with me and he started acting completely different, I and my boyfriend are getting married soon. I feel happy once again, and like never before.
Thank you so much! Wish more people spoke with love and compassion.
We all very much belong to each other. It’s the judgement that makes us feel separate. Why do we do this? It’s such a wast of our precious time and life. There is nothing wrong with following your deepest truths and believing that your deepest ruthsmatter more than anything else. It’s when we neglect them that we feel hollow and sad and full of sorrow.
Ridiculous……absolutely comical. You’re funny! Believe what you want, if it’s your reality. Sisters? Really? Get real, brother you make me sick. Lots of women throw their marriages away. Don’t think for a minute that’s not what happens. Warrior? What planet are you from? You have got to be kidding me. Babble on, babbling brook. Believe your own lies. It’s the only truth you’re going to get. It’s so sad you had to publicly display it. It’s too bad there’s five minutes I’ll never get back because I took the time to read your nonsense.
how do you contact Glennon?
Great stuff !