“Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.” ― Thoreau
So why not just laugh now? – G
“If we do not feel grateful for what we already have, what makes us think we’d be happy with more?” — Unknown
Recently I posted a picture of myself in my kitchen, and I immediately started receiving generous messages from people wanting to help me “update” it. Along with their messages came pictures of how my kitchen could look, if I’d just put some effort and money into it.
I’ve always loved my kitchen, but after seeing those pictures I found myself looking at it through new, critical eyes. Maybe it was all wrong. Maybe the 80’s counters, laminate cabinets, mismatched appliances and clutter really were mistakes I should try to fix. I stood and stared and suddenly my kitchen looked shabby and lazy to me. I wondered if that meant I was shabby and lazy, too. Because our kitchens are nothing if not reflections of us, right? I decided I’d talk to Craig and make some calls about updates.
But as I lay down to sleep, I remembered this passage from Thoreau’s Walden: “I say beware of all enterprises that require new clothes and not a new wearer of the clothes.” Walden reminds me that when I feel lacking- I don’t need new things, I need new eyes with which to see the things I already have. So when I woke up this morning, I walked into my kitchen wearing fresh perspectacles. Here’s what I saw.
You guys. I have a REFRIGERATOR.
This thing MAGICALLY MAKES FOOD COLD. I’m pretty sure in the olden days, frontierswomen had to drink warm Diet Coke. Sweet Jesus. Thank you, precious kitchen.
Inside my refrigerator is FOOD. Healthy food that so many parents would give anything to be able to feed their children. Not me. When this food runs out, I’ll just jump in my car to get more. It’s ludicrous, really. It’s like my family hits the lottery every freaking morning.
THIS CRAZY THING IS A WATER FAUCET. I pull this lever and CLEAN WATER POURS OUT EVERY TIME, DAY OR NIGHT. Mamas everywhere spend their entire day walking miles to and from wells just for a single bucket of this- and I have it right here at my fingertips. I’m almost embarrassed to say that we also have one of these in each of our two bathrooms, and one in the front yard with which to WASH OUR FEET. We use clean drinking water to WASH OUR FEET. Holy bounty.
This is the magical box in which I put uncooked stuff, push some buttons, and then a minute later- pull out cooked stuff. It is like the JETSONS up in here.
This is my medicine cabinet. Since my Lyme is in remission and each of my babies is healthy- there is nothing in here but vitamins and supplements and tea. Thank you, God. This medicine cabinet is a miracle to me. Every time I open it I feel like I should kneel down and kiss the ground. I have an inbox full of letters from mothers whose medicine cabinets look very different.
Speaking of ground- this is our kitchen floor. It’s not fancy, but it’s perfect for our most important kitchen activity: DANCING. When Chase was three a librarian asked a roomful of kids, “what do we do in the kitchen?” Everyone else called out “cook” or “eat!” But Chase yelled “DANCE!”
I can’t even talk about this thing. Actually, let’s take a moment of reverent silence because this machine is the reason all my people are still alive. IT TURNS MAGICAL BEANS INTO A LIFE-SAVING NECTAR OF GODS. EVERY MORNING. ON A TIMER.
And look you guys: LOOK. This is the kitchen corner where I keep all my kids’ school stuff. My kids go to a FREE school with brilliant teachers and a loving administration and they’re SAFE there. The school sends flyers home about PROGRAMS and CLASSES and CLUBS to make my kids’ hearts bigger and softer and their brains sharper and their bodies healthier. This corner reminds me everyday that my kids have at their fingertips what so many around the world are giving their lives for: quality education. When I wear my perspectacles I can’t look at this corner without a heart explosion.
My perspectacled kitchen tour taught me two things this morning: I’m insanely lucky and I’m finally FREE.
In terms of parenting, marriage, home, clothes – I will not be a slave to the Tyranny of Trend any longer. I am almost 40 years old and no catalog is the Boss of Me anymore. I am free. I am not bound to spend my precious days on Earth trying to keep up with the Joneses- because the Joneses are really just a bunch of folks in conference rooms changing “trends” rapidly to create fake monthly emergencies for us. OH NO! NOW IT’S A SUBWAY TILE BACKSPLASH WE NEED! No, thank you. Life offers plenty of REAL emergencies to handle, thank you very much.
I’m a grown up now. I know what looks good on me, and that doesn’t change every three months. I know how I like my house. I like it cute and cozy and a little funky and I like it to feel lived in and worn and I like the things inside of it to work. That’s all. And for me – it’s fine that my house’s interior suggests that I might not spend every waking moment thinking about how it looks.
Sometimes it seems that our entire economy is based on distracting women from their blessings. Producers of STUFF NEED to find 10,000 ways to make women feel less than about our clothes, kitchens, selves so that we will keep buying more. So maybe freeing ourselves just a little from the Tyranny of Trend is a women’s issue – because we certainly aren’t going to get much world changing done if we spend all of our time and money on wardrobe and kitchen changing.
BUT. Listen. I’m nothing if not a tangled, colorful ball of contradictions. I like a good make-over as much as anybody else. So . . . HERE WE HAVE IT. HERE IS THE MELTON KITCHEN MAKEOVER FOR YA! READY FOR THE BIG REVEAL?
Before:
After:
Ba- BAM! Extreme home makeover! My kitchen IS beautiful because it is full of beauty. SO IS YOURS.
Today I shall keep my perspectacles super-glued to my face and feel insanely GRATEFUL instead of LACKING and I will look at my home and my people and my body and say: THANK YOU. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. THIS IS ALL MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH, ALL OF IT. Now. Let us turn our focus onward and outward. There is WORK TO BE DONE and JOY TO BE HAD.
Love,
G
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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2,233 Comments
We do have a kitchen cabinet and drawer and shelf in the fridge devoted to medical supplies for a son with type-1 diabetes. But these things are a part of the “holy bounty” because . . . people figured out what insulin is and some other people taught us how to use it and we have excellent brains and health insurance needed to carry out the complex management! This knocked us down at first, but diabetes gave me perspectacles. My son is alive and doing well.
I’ve been avoiding this page since I wrote the first comment because I am ashamed of what I wrote. But I decided to look anyway. I haven’t read all the responses yet but none of y’all said you hated me or said that I am horrible. I did not expect that. I’m scared to tell my counselor. These are the things I’ve been so good at hiding. But they are starting to worry me as well.
I don’t know how to let anyone I know in real life know because I don’t want anyone to overreact. I don’t know how to find someone who will listen and walk with me rather than judging. I’m scared. But y’all have given me some hope that maybe someone won’t hate me. I wish y’all were my neighbors.
Good luck, B! We’re all rooting for you! 🙂
Oh, B, this must be so hard. If anyone here said they hated your or that you
were horrible, there would be other Monkees quickly taking them outside to have a little talk. 😉
Do you like this counselor? Have you been able to trust him or her so far? They hear things like this from other people, you know. Saying a prayer for you right now.
I like her but this is too big. It’s too big.
Dear B,
I tried to write a comment to you earlier today but there were so many comments coming in that it would not post.
You are so brave. Please tell your counselor and let them find you more help. You told us and now you have the love and support of Monkees from all over.
I hope you can feel it and know that you aren’t alone.
Please let us know when you have told your counselor.
Sending you strength and love.
Dear B,
I’ve been checking back here, thinking of you.
Please write us an update.
Did you get to tell your counselor yet?
I know you said it was “too big” for them but I know they can find you other help. Please take the next step.
Remember, “We can do hard things”.
Wait, you have four kids and your kitchen is that clean? Wow, that’s impressive! Also your kitchen doesn’t look dated to me, it looks like it gets used!
Three kids… and a youthful hubby! 🙂
Your kitchen is perfect and your family is beautiful. Thank you for posting this today, it so perfectly articulates my thoughts over the past several days. I can’t even believe some days how blessed we are and my heart breaks daily for parents who cannot give their children what I can. Clean water, enough food every day, safe warm (or cool) beds to sleep in each night. These should be human rights, not luxuries.
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!! Appreciated your wise words! 🙂
THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF THIS POST!!!! Truly, thank you! This is a-w-e-s-o-m-e!
I’m delighted that my lovely daughter reposted this and “liked” it, proving once again that she has her values right on track. My mother’s kitchen didn’t have a dance floor (we were VERY conservative and dancing was forbidden) but the room was regularly a comedy club. She taught us how to laugh, particularly at ourselves. What wouldn’t I give to have her and that old kitchen back.
This is just amazing. Your kitchen is definitely perfect in every way that matters.
I LOVE THIS!!!! So many people are worried about the “Joneses.” I am grateful everyday for my home, which is almost 100 years old, and our kitchen, where the cabinets & counter top really needs a make-over, but functions perfectly fine! I also have to say that I find it interesting that I’m not the only one (I was beginning to think I was) that stores their medicine, tea, coffee & coffee additives in the same cabinet! You keep DANCING! Enjoy the blessing that is your home, and all the blessings that go along with it.
I would start gravitating away from the “friends” that tell you what you should do with YOUR completely functional kitchen, and gravitate more to the people who realize that if it aint broke, there’s no need to fix it, and people should be allowed to define their own space…whether they want an “update” or not.
In the very early days of one of my best most beautiful friendships, my friend visited my house for the first time, and said immediately: “have you heard the Yiddish word ‘heymish’? It means homey, welcoming, comfortable, inviting. That’s what your house is: ‘heymish.’ ”
We were both new mothers, and my house was dusty and covered in baby crap and unread newspapers and dirty dishes and half folded baskets of laundry. And it was “heymish.” I have yet to receive a better compliment on my home.
I love your perspective! Thank you, from the Mom who sighs at the pile of laundry/dishes/to-do lists rather than dances. We are going to dance today.
Thank you, thank you! Remember that old saying that a messy desk is the sign that work is being done? The kitchens featured in magazines are rarely used for the day-today.
AMEN!!! You said it all so well!! Nothing steals one’s peace like comparison. Enjoy what you have, embrace who you are! Count your blessings and every day feels like christmas 🙂
As a mom of twins on a budget, just coming off of paying $24,000.00 per year in child care (yes you read that right), can I say THANK YOU. I often find myself feeling like I have a terrible home that is dated and cluttered and quite honestly embarrassing. But after reading through this, and using your phrase, viewing my home through new perspectacles, I see a place where I feel safe. I have so much space, when others are living in huts, and co sleeping entire extended families. I have all of the magical things you listed, and more. I have this amazing box that allows me instant access to family living across the country. I have more than most, and less than others, but I have the most important things: Family, and happiness. So, again, thank you. Bless you, and may your kitchen always be filled with dancing and smiles! Sincerely, Lisa
Absolutely love this blog post…. any person who feels a little disgruntled at times really needs to read this and it puts a person’s life into perspective. Love the new word Perspectacles… one word I won’t forget. Great blog you have here.
Great attitude of gratitude!
Well….that was seriously just a slap in the face and I have only one thing to say to you: THANK YOU!
My husband is a carpenter. Six years ago we bought our house with the hopes of fixing it up. It’s been six years of constant renovations….CONSTANT….and sometimes constant means not doing anything for a year. My kitchen has been in the works for five years. Currently I have a hole in my ceiling so people can see up in the attic, my stove and fridge and table are in one room while my dishes, sink and food are in another. I have plywood for floors. My cupboards are old, I have very little space….and very very very little water pressure when I’m using my washer and trying to use my sink at the same time…..so much so that it usually takes about five minutes to fill a pot and I usually end up running to the bathroom because the water trickling causes me to have to pee lol.
Last night I blew up at my husband…yelling match, told him I was tired, tired, Tired! Of living in a house like this. Since we’ve been married (13 years almost) we have never lived in a nice house….that is completed. I know he’s tires…not only is he a carpenter but he’s also a pastor, a dad and a husband. I had no reason to blow up at him….except that I just wanted my own way….I wanted things to look nice so I wouldn’t be embarrassed any more.
After reading your post I now have a new perspective…one that I hope sticks for a long time…one that will cause my heart to soften….and one that tells me I need to apologize to my husband…..so again, I thank you.
We’ve been living in a kitchen from 1986 with all of its oak and laminate and white tile glory. We bought a kitchen table this weekend for the space because I was so tired of not being able to SIT with my toddler while he ate in his highchair. Now that I can SIT with him and just BE with him in that same 1986 kitchen, it’s a brand new space. The oak and laminate and dirty floors just kind of go away. Perspectacles are amazing.
You did it again! Perspectacles is my new word. (BTW, perspectacles are the point of “Closer to Fine” for me. How can you not laugh when mommy puts a paper bag on her head? Brings a little perspective to the table…) Thanks.
I love your makeover. It’s literally the BEST kitchen makeover I’ve ever seen! As I sit and look at my 1970’s era kitchen in my 1920’s era home, I think that, like you, I will be grateful for all the wonderful things my kitchen has to offer…especially the room for a dance floor. (We do a lot of dancing in the kitchen too. Love that you all do the same!)
Well said! I like how you wrote this: your sense of humor really livened it up.
I’m a person who has a kind of need for things around me to be beautiful. Not everyone is like that. But I am so grateful for my sister-in-law, an interior designer, who keeps me from falling into trends. Because she’s not afraid to look at the “next big thing” and say, “Meh.” She’ll critique the usefulness of the latest design, or the merits of the latest materials, and then you’re not ashamed of your Formica counters, because they’re less trouble than granite, and you don’t need tile floors because they’re so hard on your legs. If it looks good, who cares if it’s trendy? (Cue salespeople and marketing firms screaming “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”)
OK, so there are only two options, gratitude or debt. How about I’m grateful for what I have, but I can still treat myself to what I can afford? I am definitely free of trendy, have to have, keep up with the Jones. But there is nothing wrong with replacing a kitchen, a bathroom or a car. Once I’ve given my tithes and offerings to God, what I do with my money is up to me. Let’s not have an attitude of “if you spend money on yourself, you’re not a Christian.” It is possible to be grateful, giving, out of debt and up to date.
This is also true.
My parents redid their kitchen a couple years ago. It wasn’t cheap. It also wasn’t trendy: no subway tile, no granite counter tops, none of that nonsense. It is, however, a much better kitchen layout, much cheerier, and much warmer in the winter since they put in a heated floor. (It’s like magic! Freezing cold January morning, and the kitchen floor is toasty.)
God delights in beauty. He wants us to enjoy the blessings he gives us. My parents have been blessed with enough money, and my mom is blessed with a love of beauty. They need not be ashamed to remodel their kitchen.
I don’t think she meant them as being opposing positions with nothing in between. I didn’t get the impression at all that she was saying people weren’t good Christians if they updated their homes periodically. Were we reading the same blog?
Amen Sister. I’ve said before on this blog that I am SO thankful that I have a SINK to wash dishes in when I even think about feeling sorry for myself that I want upgrades (30 year old home with original everything and ready to fall apart). I just keep telling myself I have a ROOF. I have a home.
Preach it, G!!! Can I get an AMEN??!!!
P.S – I can’t see a thing wrong with your kitchen – hell I can SEE all the major features of your kitchen INCLUDING the color of your counter tops! Girl, that is a total #kitchenWIN!! right there!
I know! Heck, you can see a fair amount of the front of her fridge. What’s that about?! I’m not sure what color my countertop is, it’s so buried.
Thanks so much! I love your heart and perspective and the best makeover yet! God bless.
This is one of the BEST things I have read in a very, very long time! I love the honesty and humor. The truth is so obvious and yet so obscure that it sometimes needs to be pointed out!
AMEN! If it is clean and it works it’s good enogh for me! So many more important things in life!
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Gluing on my perspectacles: Women who need multiple calendars to track their children’s meds and therapies. Women who spend all day carrying water. Women who cannot bury their dead relatives because they died from the Ebola virus…or bury them anyway, and die themselves, and spread the epidemic still further.
Beautiful. Thank you.
This is epic. This is fabulous. Gratitude is everything. Thanks for making it so specific and real. My kitchen is really great for dancing, too!!
Oh, dear Glennon. I’ve loved so many of your posts. But I do believe this is my absolute favorite. What a refreshing perspective in this land of plenty (or debt, as the case may be). xo
I totally needed to hear this today! Thanks!
I love this. Someday when we have kids, I want them to think our kitchen is for dancing, too.
Love, love, love this post. Did I mention that I LOVE it?
Thank you for this post! I’m a mom of twins with one on the way and my kitchen is messy just as my wonderful messy life is. Thank you for reminding me that my life is still “beauty-FULL!” You are an inspiration.
I absolutely adore this post. Thank you!!! It is a terrible thing to not be able to appreciate the many blessings that are right in front of our face every single day.
Love love love this. However, you just made me realize my kitchen is out of date because yours is much more modern than mine! And that’s fine for both of us.
Love it!! This is what I say to myself each morning when I get up and greet my 15 year old white (gasp!) refrigerator. I can’t get rid of it when it still works just fine! Bigger fish to fry in my kitchen, indeed.
Of all the fabulous things you’ve written, this is the most super fantabulous. Thanks for speaking right to my heart today. XO
This might be one of my favorite things you’ve ever written, and that’s saying something. So funny, so wise, so honest…I loved it.
My thoughts, exactly!!
Yes and yes.
WOW – just what I needed to hear – THANK YOU!!!!!
I love that you dance in your kitchen too. We also car dance, I would suggest trying it any time you are at a stop light surrounded by strangers.
Thank you!!! We are currently buying a new house and NOTHING in the house needs redone, yes some of it’s outdated, but it’s all in really good condition. My first inclination was to pick it apart and see what I could do to update things with the least amount of money. This article is definitely what I needed. Thank you for the reminder.
Also, my current kitchen looks waaaaay worse than yours. I like yours. It has character and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.
That’s the best before and after transformation I have ever seen. Ever. Thanks for being you, Glennon!
This is just absolutely brilliant. I am one of those women who wants the latest and greatest and have to have an orderly home to find peace. Not because I have to keep up with the Joneses, but because I am OCD and it helps me keep my sanity lol. There are a lot of other reasons too, I keep my home the way I do, but that’s not important. The important thing, and the impressive thing, and the thing that this world is so lacking is one’s ability to tell others you are doing your life your way. And for that, this is a brilliant piece of work. One thing I absolutely, unequivocally agree with, is no matter the style or type of your kitchen, it always looks better filled with family, friends and love 🙂
I love your blog, Glennon. It’s allowed me to be kinder and more merciful to others and myself. I’ve never posted before, but I had to post to this topic. You hit the nail on the head–this shift in vision is what we need to remind us of the truth–that regardless of what others (or magazines, news media, etc.) say, things don’t matter. People do.
I know first hand the power of judgmental words about one’s home in twisting one’s perspective. I loved our home when we bought it. It’s modest, comfy, and “home-y.” It’s the kind of place you can put your feet up on the couch, yet it’s not too cluttered or messy. It’s a wonderful place to raise my boys. Yet a few years ago, I sent a friend a photo of my son at his birthday party, and she must have sent it to her husband with a judgmental comment because he accidentally replied to me and not her, laughing with her about the bourgeois carpet and the lack of sophistication in the home. And for years afterwards, I hated my house. I could only see it through their judgmental eyes. It’s only been recently that I reclaimed the joy of having this home, feeling grateful for it and for what I do have and not what others think I should have. It’s a constant, insidious battle, this standing firm in gratitude and not yielding to the desire for more.
Thank you for articulating this so beautifully today. The pictures helped a lot. I, too, like my refrigerator that holds our yummy food, my old and worn carpet where we cuddle and dance, my table where my kids and I play Yahtzee. May I always remember this and return to this. I need constant reminders. Your blog is one of them. Thank you.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I feel like I can’t say it enough! To you – for reminding me of the bounty within these walls! And to God – for His bounteous provision of all my messy, outdated, crowded rooms!! again – thank you!!
I just absolutely love this! We recently stocked up on beans and rice. You guys- I have enough beans and rice to feed my family for the next SIX MONTHS! I truly believe that gratitude is the special sauce of life. What we already have is pretty darn decadent.
More pictures of Craig please 🙂
Please don’t make comment like this. That’s her man. Let’s show her a little more respect. 🙂
B, about 2 years ago I hit bottom and got help and I learned so many things about myself in therapy that I never knew and now with the help of a great team, I’ve learned how to manage all my stuff. I learned why I handled it the way I did as we’ll. Am I perfect? Heck no! But I am blessed beyond measure. Seeking help, has led to beautiful places ( both internal and external). Please, please, please, I encourage you to face your feel of talking with someone of sharing this weight and let a professional share your burden and walk this part of your journey with you. I send you lots of love and encouragement and virtual support.
You.are.awesome. I love reminders like this to practice gratitude and to remember “comparison is the thief of joy.”
Thank you for this encouragement to live well, with a focus on what truly matters in life. I’m very glad I’ve found your blog – looking forward to reading more!
Incidentally, I am also in remission from Lyme, but my daughters are still in treatment.
Thank you for sharing your life, your wisdom, and your faith.
I LOVE this! You should totally come to my (slightly falling down) house and revel in the hodgepodge of beauty within. From yellow bathtub and toilet to peeling vinyl tiles, to mismatched, freecycled everything, I feel blessed to have it all, because my family lives and loves and creates here. If it was all updated and new, we might be afraid to Live here!
This is up there in the best things I”ve ever read. I often feel this way but had no idea how to express it. Thanks again, as always, for sharing. You must have received an A++ in kindergarten for all the sharing that comes naturally to you. With love and appreciation, Monkee Mama in Canada
I told someone recently. ” Chevron is the country duck of our time”.
Hysterical! You are SO right!
That’s hilarious! And so true… I really don’t understand everyone’s obsession with the chevron print. It looks wonderful and distinguished in regards to military, but t-shirt pockets with chevron??? I’ve seen pictures of bedrooms with one wall painted with chevron pattern. smh
Exactly! I don’t love my kitchen and I’ve been wanting to redo it since the day we moved in. This summer was the summer to redo the kitchen. But instead life took us down this amazing journey to adopt two baby boys with Down syndrome from Ukriane. Kitchen fund became adoption fund and now as I walk across the vinyl floors of my kitchen to open my dated, mismatched appliances or wipe down my tile counters missing whole rows of grout, I smile knowing I’ll happily live with this kitchen for a long while.
Awesome!!! What a great use for the kitchen fund.
Beautiful — thanks for telling us about this.
I’m not a house person. I mean, I’m glad I live in one and all, but I don’t get my self worth from having matching towels in the bathroom or seasonal throw pillows or organized spices. I try to notice my friends’ touches in their houses because it IS important to them, but I really don’t envy or aspire to that feminine standard for some reason! Your post was so validating and encouraging to me…thank you for taking the time to write it!
(When I went back to the post that sparked this one, I couldn’t really see what the big deal was about the backdrop of your house/kitchen. It looks like you live there. With a family. That’s cool!)
It’s yours. You own it. I would give anything for a kitchen that I own. Lol. But I am so grateful for everything that my rent comes with. I’m glad you didn’t let people get you down.
Oh good God thank you for this post today. Woman, you HAVE got it all figured out perhaps. This is amazing. True and important. We are so damn lucky. And I promise never to give you decorating advice when you send out a photo!
Love you G.
Thank you. I can’t make the 50 year old linoleum in my kitchen look clean so I stopped looking at it. The 1980s formica counter tops are bucking up in places so I have plenty of my vintage treasure sitting on top to make it beautiful.
This is amazing. We live in a tri-level house that is, well, small compared to the houses of everyone I know. The kitchen is outdated. But you know what? We OWN our house, like free and clear from the bank. Every time I get dramatic about small closets, I step back and remind myself that we are doing so, so well without walk in closets.
I love every single word you’ve written here. I’m even going to start using “perspectacles” in my every day conversations. You’ve coined a word 🙂 (PS – full disclosure: we just moved from a house with a kitchen and appliances older than me (I’m 36) to a brand new apartment with a smaller kitchen but new appliances (a DISHWASHER! Water with more H2O than minerals!) and I do a happy dance every day. We are so blessed to have such luxuries at our fingertips. <3 (also – your kitchen looks like a very efficient 2-3 butt kitchen. Rock it.)
My new favorite! It is amazing what we see with those perspecticles if we just remember to put them on!
Dear Glennon,
This post is the best freakin’ thing ever. Thank you. As I am scrambling around trying to clean up my house and wondering why it’s never ever going to look like I imagine it should look, I am so glad to read this and see your photos and be reminded that we are living real lives and we’ve got it pretty good.
Thank you.
Love,
Betsy
Jane, Are you familiar with Habitat for Humanity’s “Restore” store? Instead of taking “old” cabinets, flooring, appliances, windows — anything really– to the dump, donate them and HforH will USE them in the building of a new house for a family that would LOVE to have them!!! Besides the houses built by HforH anyone can shop there so its a great way to help the Earth as well. Check their website for your local office.
Thank you Heather for the great suggestion. I’ve only had Build It Green as an option for recycling kitchens in the NYC area to date. I called them and they are opening up a ReStore in November or December here and are currently taking kitchen items only.. super helpful. Thanks again.
Beautiful! Thank you so much for posting this! What an excellent reminder of the importance of gratitude.
You could not possibly know how much I love this. I have no idea why anyone would have an opinion about someone else’s house. Your kitchen is beautiful – before and after! Thank you for letting us into your home and your life so openly!
Woa. I just spent the weekend getting frustrated as I tried to paint my cabinets because all the people on the internet make it look SO EASY! AND IT’S NOT EASY. Needed to yell that. I was also thinking this weekend how I just ordered *more* maternity clothes at 27 weeks and then looked at my husband’s side and realized he buys clothes once every 3 years. Why? Why do I feel like I need more or different (actually, the clothes I ordered aren’t different- they are 3 versions of white shirts…seriously?)
I want to work to get where you are. Looking at what I have with different eyes, eyes that help me realize it’s all enough and clothes, or a painted kitchen, or xyz thing doesn’t really change me on the inside.
I love this! Last night I was whining about the state of my furniture – w/3 dogs and a toddler grandddaughter crawling all over it – it’s not pretty! And, my 24-yr old daughter looks at me and said “at least you have a couch; some people just sit on the floor”. I was so proud of her for reminding me of that!
Congrats for avoiding the “Magazine-ation” of America! Your kitchen is the center of where life happens. If people don’t like it – they don’t have to come by. But oh the things they’ll miss.
THANK. YOU.
I LOVE THIS! And look at how God is working through this post. Praise Him because He knows!
Printing this out (did you know i have a magical machine that can do THAT at HOME!) and posting proudly along side finger print smudges on my outdated fridge!
AMEN!
As a women with a kitchen I grumble about EVERY SINGLE DAY, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I still hope for a newer kitchen some day, but now I can see having a working kitchen as a blessing, even with all of its “flaws.”
This is JUST what I needed today.
Keep on shining the light, G!
How brave to bring this pain into the open heart of this community!
It’s the first step to healing.
Know that there are lots and lots of people in the same boat, and they are
there to support you. You don’t need to go through it alone.
As usual, wise woman, you hit the nail on the head! You are my Blog Goddess!!! 🙂 I look around me and am very satisfied! Have a great week, y’all!!
I.LOVE.YOU. Being freer of keeping up with the Joneses (which ironically is literally the name of my neighbors) makes life less stressful. Your kitchen is fabulous, as are you.
You did it once again GM! You are a gift. LOVE LOVE LOVE this especially when you say “BAM Extreme home makeover” Thank you so much 🙂
In reading this it made a very personal and up on front stage at this very moment situation come to mind. ( because it is constantly on my mind!) so if I am constantly frustrated and wailing about a new diagnosis it distracts me from being thankful for the medical team, medications that will help once we find just the right one and dose, and health insurance to cover said medications. Beautiful perspectacles! You are a blessing in this brutiful messy summer of mine.
AMEN!! Our kitchen is more outdated than yours, but the cupboards are full and the food is plentiful. Because we haven’t spent a ton on updates (we have one credit card for emergencies only), we have flown our kids to Nrw Orleans, taken a 7-day Disney cruise, and make annual beach trips to a luxury resort. We also can pay for college for our 18yo living in a tiny apartment in LA that costs the four kids $3200/month. Would I love updates and a fancier updated home? Sure. But I’d rather have a kid getting a great education (another following 3 yrs behind – ack!), MEMORIES and not just a beautiful home to shoe off. It’s warm, welcoming, modest but full of LOVE. No en suite baths or granite or stainless steel appliances or open floor plans. But love. Lots.
Excuse all the typos!
How did I miss a post that had people posting about how you should fix up your kitchen, since kitchen design is one of my favorite parts of my job? I agree with you. If you like it and it works for you, no need to change it. I always feel bad about sending cabinets, counter tops, sinks and appliances to the dump that are still in good functional shape because a kitchen is being remodeled. The recycling places will only take pieces that are a couple of years old. The truth is, most kitchen remodeling is a luxury rather than a necessity. I’m not opposed to people wanting a beautiful modern kitchen if they can afford it since this is what I do for a living, but I am opposed to people feeling that they have to have one to be successful or alright. As you said, water, food, health, shelter, etc… these are life essentials. All the rest is gravy.
Habitat for Humanity Restore! They can reuse the functional home items instead of dumping them!
Jane, Are you familiar with Habitat for Humanity’s “Restore” store? Instead of taking “old” cabinets, flooring, appliances, windows — anything really– to the dump, donate them and HforH will USE them in the building of a new house for a family that would LOVE to have them!!! Besides the houses built by HforH anyone can shop there so its a great way to help the Earth as well. Check their website for your local office.
That’s why I stopped watching “Extreme Home Makeover” even though I loved to see the makeovers…I HATED seeing rooms gutted and homes destroyed. I love to think about remodeling (am hoping for a chance to get to it for myself…you should see my Pinterest!) but I ALWAYS want to restore and find the beauty in what is there, NOT throw it away and start over. This post has to be one of the best ever! I hate it when somebody tries to “fix” me…when I didn’t know I was broken…LOL! It’s truly not about who has the best kitchen, but who has the best “perspectacles” to see things as God sees them, and to be content with much or little. Thanks!!!
Thank God for YOU. Amen amen amen. Love your perspective and ability to cut through all the crap and remind us of what our hearts see.
whoa!! I SO needed this. counting my blessings (including the gift of finding Momastery). <3
Absolutely loved this piece, thanks Glennon x
I don’t really find myself longing for the trendy things, however, I do sometimes forget how incredibly blessed we are, to have the things we have. This was an amazing reminder and a beautiful post. Thank you!
A million times YES!! Gratitude is a beautiful spiritual practice. If I remember to be grateful, there becomes no space for envy. Thank you for the reminder!
Love you G! Thank you for these necessary and freeing reminders!
Oh, sweet B. Your sisters here love you, but we’re probably not in the best position to help you. Please tell what you told us to your there – in – person – people so they can be extra big help to you. Consider your very very brave confession here a dress rehearsal . You did great. And I promise you promised you promised you that God is there. It’s okay if you don’t believe it right now, he still believes in you. And he loves you he wants you to tell somebody who can help you.
Glennon, this was really a great post for me today. It’s easy for me to get a case of the envies. However, I look forward to the day when I get to make my kitchen look just as special as I think it is. I house is 120 years old, and a girl gets a new dress every now and again, right? But until we can responsibly make the changes we want to make, I’m going to be way grateful for it the way that it is.
This is so perfect I can barely stand it. Yes yes yes!!!
I wish I knew how you get in my head and say the things that I can’t. You and your words, they are one of the best things that have happened to me..besides my messy boys, my outdated house, my amazing and fragile marriage, you Glennon are awesome!!
Most beautiful kitchen EVER. 🙂 Thank you!
I am about to move to one of those places where we won’t be able to drink from the faucets cause the water is not clean enough. Seeing your post just reminds how lucky my kids are to be able to live in both of those worlds. Hoping to hold on to just the tniest bit of sanity during this move, and every bit of grace from you helps!
Glennon. You make life better. I love how you share word mash-ups: “perspectacles.” Freakin’ awesomeness, sister! This is a post I SO needed to read today. Love your kitchen. Love MY kitchen. We dance there, too, which delights my heart every time it happens. And, our kitchen is carpeted. Ever try living with a carpeted kitchen? Not as bad as it would seem. It was that way when we moved in, and we always intended to re-do it one day. Have never gotten around to it. Have stopped caring. Freedom!!
G, this post, like your kitchen, is full of beauty. Thank you so much!
I really needed to read this today. Thank you.:)
Perspectacles – totally my new favorite word. Thanks for this reminder !!
seriously!
Love this! My kitchen will never be in a magazine but I spend lots of time in it with my daughter!
thank you – and AMEN!! my favorite part of my kitchen (when it is not full of my family!) is the corner where the kids’ school stuff is!!! It is a gift for sure that I can’t see who has science club when because it is covered up by a handwritten note mailed over the summer from our teacher!!
Thank you for always being open with us. This isn’t really related except talk about the kitchen made me think of food which made me think of a secret I’ve been keeping. Well, two secrets. One food related and one not. I’m scared to tell anyone I know in real life but maybe sharing it here will help me take the next step.
I’ve been throwing up after I eat. Not every time but it still happens. And the other secret? I’m most ashamed and embarrassed about this one.
I’ve started cutting again. I feel like god’s not there and I feel stuck.
Hugs to you, B for thinking about taking the next step. We’re here for you.
B, I have no advice or help for you because I have no experience with what you’re going through, but I wanted to send you my love. You are loved. I will be praying for you.
Love,
Carey
Oh B. How brave of you to post that. God IS there and you are loved. And you are not stuck – you posted this to all of us and that is the first step. Please, some other Monkee who has been in B’s situation, what is the next step?
I will pray for you.
B- don’t be ashamed – but you are so brave. You told G, and you told all of us. You need to keep talking about it and keep asking for help. Don’t try to do this alone. God is there, maybe you just haven’t been able to see or feel him lately because he’s been crowded out by all of the other business going on in your head. But you are brave and strong – you admitted something really hard. Next you WILL take the next step. Be good to yourself. You deserve it! Monkee Love.
B- look at god in these responses from your sister monkees.
B — there are a whole mess of monkees holding you in our hearts today. If all you are ready to do today is say to some strangers — I have these problems — than all we will do is listen to you and love you and not try to fix you. If you want to ask for help from a bunch of loving strangers –we will try our best to help.
I talk to God everyday. He says to tell you he’s sorry that you’re going through so much right now with the throwing up, and the cutting, and everything else. He really likes you. He sends his love.
oh, dear B,
You are not stuck, and you are not alone. You have taken one small, very brave step to tell us your secret. Be proud of yourself! I am sure it was hard, but we are learning from each other that we can all do hard things. Please know I am not offering help or advice, only my hand to hold onto yours if you want it, as you take the next brave step, and the next whenever you are ready.
Love will win,
D
Oh B, you are loved. And I am here to tell you that God’s love is deeper than the deepest darkness. It is deeper still. He is right there, and you are more precious than anything in this world. You are beautiful and you are loved. Loved by God and loved by all of us here. We will walk through this with you – and so will He. You are not alone. We Monkees are cheering for you – look at how far you’ve already come! Admitting is such a HUGE step!!! Philippians 3:13 says, “No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.” None of us have achieved “it” – no matter what each of our “its” are. But you can look forward to what lies ahead. Let’s find some help to walk you through the roads to freedom.
I can’t relate to the food, but the cutting I get. For me it was a way to get access to my feelings. I would be so numb and disconnected and if I just cut, I could feel again. I was actually forced into counseling, (I was at college at the time and the administration seemed most afraid of a lawsuit) but it was the best thing for me. My counselor is one of 2 people who had no judgement & understood the thoughts & motives behind cutting. One thing I learned though, is that cutting is addictive and often you need to cut more often and deeper. It has been 8 years since I cut last and there are still plenty of days when I desperately want to. It is still not something that most people know about me because of all the judgement and comments about doing it just for attention. If only they understood that I did it to feel and keep myself from ending my life, that it was my attempt to cope all by myself. Please do not be ashamed. Shame will consume you. I pray you find someone you can trust, who can just love you where you are at without judgement.
B!
I am going to be your prayer warrior! I encourage you to find a trusted Christian counselor at church, where they are usually free or minimal in price, or outside of church to begin the process of healing. These things begin small but as you might have experienced become big and difficult on our own. I once had an eating disorder and I have since worked through much of it and do not struggle as I used to. The most important thing is to heal in community. Let someone who you trust and knows the Lord know about what you are experiencing.
I love and feel for you greatly dear friend,
Renee
I had bulimia from age 17 1968 until age 53 2006. I was fortunate to have had counseling from 1991 and still have it now. Geneene Roth is a wonderful writer and helped me. I did not share this information with anyone until recently. You have taken the first step. Baby steps were the best way for me. Sending lots of Love and Prayers for you.
B…keep moving in this direction. There is peace for you. Thank you for sharing with all of us and know we are holding you in our hearts today. Now keep moving forward and tell some one who can be there in-person and help you get what you need. You know who that person is. You’re doing great! Don’t stop now. Love and hug!
B, Can the Big You, put her arms around the Little You, and just tell her, it is all going to be okay and that she is not alone? Sometimes, saves me just a little bit and I am free to think of what comes next.
Yes, B — many Monkees now holding you in our hearts. This was a very brave first step.