Last month, I was in a room with four hundred women, and we were laughing and crying and just BEING together. Halfway through our time together, a woman stood up and said, “Glennon, what would you say to help people understand the importance of being there for a friend who has lost a child? We lost our daughter, Ansley, seven years ago and most of our friends and family have just fallen away. Now on her birthday and Angel Day- I might receive a card or two. It’s just not enough. Our baby is gone and we need the people who knew her to talk to us about her, but they don’t. Everyone we loved is just silent about it. It makes me feel like Ansley is forgotten. It feels like the world is pretending she never existed.”
I just looked at her for a long moment. The room was completely silent. It was clear to everyone that this woman had single-handedly escorted the four hundred of us into the most important moment of the evening.
I finally said, “What is your name?”
She said, “Jessica.”
I said, “Jessica- you tell us. What would YOU tell people to do?”
And she said, “SHOW UP. Show up right away and then keep showing up. Don’t worry about saying the right thing, there is no right thing. Just say SOMETHING. Just tell us you haven’t forgotten. And say their name. It’s like people are afraid to remind me of her- as if I’m not already thinking about her every moment of every day. Everyone avoids her name- but we still need to hear their names spoken by people who loved them.”
I thanked Ansley’s mama for saying what we all needed to hear. For telling us that when it comes to tragedy- what a friend does is pull together all her brave and run towards the heartbreak and mightily resist the urge to try to fix it and instead just sit in it and soak up a little bit of the love and pain.
And then she says her name. Often. Because your friend is still Ansley’s mama, as certainly and surely and eternally and solidly as you are the mama of your babies. That’s who she STILL IS. Somehow now more than ever. She doesn’t know herself any other way and she doesn’t want to. And so when you don’t acknowledge that part of her, it’s like you’re not even there with her. She needs you to be there with her. With Ansley’s grieving mama.
I said, “Jessica. I don’t know what to say. But listen, I’ll tell you one thing. Ansley’s Angel Day is not going to pass silently this year. I know some people who would love nothing more than to stop and remember Ansley with you. They are the Monkees. You tell me Ansley’s date and then you visit us on her day. “
And Jessica cried and we all cried together – all four hundred of us – for the loss of a baby girl and the pain of a mother and the soothing balm of women who rush toward each other and sit and cry with each other and just give up on saying too many words at all.
Today is Ansley’s Angel Day- July 14. I imagine that Jessica will wake up this morning and look out her window and wonder how in the world it is that the world can keep spinning on the day that her own world died.
I would like for us to stop the world for a moment today to remember Ansley, to honor Jessica, and to hold space for all of our sisters’ great loss and pain and love. Let us do this in two ways:
- Please leave a comment here for Jessica. She will be reading today. Let us show her we cared enough to STOP today and say Ansley’s name. Let us tell her that she is not the only one who is feeling the width and depth today of the loss of Ansley. Also, in your comment- tell Jessica where you’re from. It makes the love feel more real when you can see that it’s covering the globe.
- Then please, in honor of Ansley and Jessica- call to mind a friend who has suffered a great loss and then reach out to her. If you can’t call her, email her. If you can’t email her, text her. Don’t let your lack of time or the perfect thing to say stop you. Just do it. Stop the world for a moment in honor of her. That’s what we do when we pause in the middle of a busy day to reach out to someone who is hurting. We say “to me, you are worth stopping the world for.”
MS-MD has donated $700 to the Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood Program in honor of Precious Ansley (who would have been a nine year old girl today) and in honor of her Warrior Mama, Jessica, and in honor of all of you who have lost your babies. I am stopping my world today to tell you that I have no perfect words. I am just here, and I am so very, very sorry.
G and TWMF
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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Jessica, it is 7 years and 6 days after this post. I just came across your story and the beautiful photos of Ansley. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you celebrate and remember your beautiful baby.
Dear Jessica, I just came upon this page today, the day after Ansley’s Angel Day. I am thinking of you and your wild courage in telling your story, and thinking of Ansley and her bright spirit. I hope yesterday contained wonderful memories of your precious girl, along with the missing of her. I hope your courage to speak your truth about what you need has helped the friends and family in your life step up and risk speaking about Ansley to you and to honor that she is part of your life. Never forget that you are surrounded by love.
South Bend, IN
I am so deeply, deeply sorry for your unimaginable loss; your precious child. I am SO moved by your immense courage ~ to keep on living, to grieve and let others see your grief about your precious and beloved Ansley, for giving us the chance to support and love you both, and your whole family, too. I have just discovered this blog for the first time tonight (March 30, 2021; Ansley would be 16 years old this year, I think?) and feel a stunned synchronicity ~ my Dad died suddenly on July 14, 1981, so this summer, it will be, incredibly, 40 long years since he left us utterly unexpectedly at the age of only 39. He drowned in Lake Tahoe, in Emerald Bay, in fact. My grief and my family’s grief about him are COMPLEX, for reasons I will not open up here. But he was deeply beloved, despite everything, and July 14th, Bastille Day, his Angel Day, the same day of your beloved Ansley’s leaving to Heaven, is tattooed in my heart. My Dad’s name was Don. He was lost in a storm of his own making. I think of him daily and pray for him often and will now pray for your Ansley, too. Much Love, Ki
Thinking of you and your sweet baby girl. I l cannot believe I randomly stumbled upon this article today of all days.. My sweet boy Teddy’s Angel Day is tomorrow, March 13th. I know he is in heaven with Ansley playing and laughing together. 🙂
Kristen, from San Diego
Kristen, I too just ran into this post again today. I’ll be thinking of your Teddy tomorrow and you as well! Big hugs from one stranger to another in these strange times. 🙂
The interwebs connect us to one another so beautifully sometimes. Your daughter Ansley is certainly NOT forgotten. Years after her original post, people get to see her sweet face and see her strong Momma standing at a Glennon event.
Sending love to all of us from 2020 Quarantine in Palm Springs, CA.
I just read this article. I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of your family.
From Omaha, Nebraska
From one Ansley momma (my daughter’s name!) to another, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet girl. <3
Thinking of you and your precious Ansley as Mother’s Day approaches. Take care. Heart hugz to you (((( <3 ))))
Remembering precious Ansley and thinking of you Jessica. Ansley will be with my son, Patrick, who died at 2 weeks of age on 15th June 2916.
Jillian, Belfast, Northern Ireland
Thinking of you and your precious Ansley today.
Eileen from Addison, IL
Thinking of you and your sweet Ansley.
Laura (Colorado Springs)
Ansley is joined by my sweet Sophia 5/15/2013 and sweet baby Madison 12/2014…
These babies are in the present of the Lord, healed, loved and completely beautiful.
I pray strength and faith for those left behind to miss them in the name Jesus Christ….
Ansley sure does have lots of friends in heaven. Joining them is my son, Logan. We lost him August 21, 2013.
I hope you also feel surrounded by love and friends. No matter how sad you feel, know that you’re never alone. A whole community is here to walk beside you.
Sending love from State College, PA.
Hi Jessica…your words are so right…I just lost my baby too…she was four months old..and not even 15 days ago. But today..everybody is back on their routine while I have had to create a new way of living or better survive this life because I have another 4yr old girl. But my heart itches. Thank you again for your words that help me express also what I have been feeling these days…and happy angel anniversary for Ansley (I love that name )…I wish time just end and that the day we can meet them again be here now! I am from CT.
Tatiana sending so much love to you. You didn’t say your baby’s name, but I’m so sorry she was taken for you so soon. I hope you are getting the support your need somewhere, I wish I could demand it on your behalf from your friends and family. I don’t know your same pain, but I have 9 angels in heaven that I never got to hold in my arms and somedays the weight of that is too much to bare. Nothing but love for you…I’m holding you in my heart tonight in Iowa
Thank you…and yes…I just realized. Our beautiful baby angel is Natalia. And I miss her so much!!!! Thank you for your words
Tatiana, I just want you to know I care that you also are going through such a tough time. It must be so hard when the rest of the world moves on and you are suffering so much. Love to you also. Robyn from Australia. X
As the friend of an Angel Momma and family to another, I only know the love and pain from the skirts of it all. I will remember your words as I have remembered theirs and will not forget you or your Ansley. There is no greater tangible pain than to bear witness to a loved one losing their baby except to be the one who lost. My thoughts are with you Jessica.
NBA in Monterey
I remember Ansley with you today as I remember my Jonathan Michael, born Oct. 25 1985 and passing Oct. 27 1985. 31 years ago. The pain never goes away but it does get better. I only rest in the fact that I will see him again. Blessings to you and please know that you are never alone in your grief.
I’m very sorry for your loss of precious Ansley. She’s beautiful. Your story touched my heart and gave me a sense of feeling that I know I’m not alone in my own loss. Your words rang truth with my own family and friends. My oldest daughter Katelyn Hannah passed away from SIDS in 2002 at 4 months old. Her birthday was July 24th and she would have been 14 years old. Not a minute goes by I don’t think about her. I have never been able to grieve properly. No one understands my pain because they only want to remember her the way she was before she died. Most tell me I should be over it by now. We know all to well that we will never be over the death of our child. Thank you for your story and braveness. You and Ansley are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am thinking of you and your beautiful little girl ❤️ In Kentucky
My sons name is Nikolas and his birthday is August 14th (he would be turning 10 this year) and his angel day is August 29th ❤️
I understand your pain and your love. Stay strong and brave angelmommy ❤️ I am so very sorry for your loss
With love and hugs,
Sharon Coomes and Nikolas Coomes ❤️
Think of you and your little girl on this day! On August 9th, I too will be celebrating the birth and death of my little boy who would’ve been 7 years old this year. It never gets easier, does it?
I lost my baby girl Gabriella.. I know you struggle and your pain. . Happy birthday Ansley she is still beautiful and always will be. . Thinking of her today. .
Happy birthday to Ansley. No words can be said other than those. Keep saying her name, keep her spirit with you. She is always there in your heart.
Happy Birthday, Ansley! God bless you and your Mama and all the angels on earth and in heaven!
Happy birthday Ansley!! I know my angel Tyler is looking after you in heaven. She would be making sure you are having a beautiful party with all your angel friends. Give your mummy a sign to let her know how much fun you’re having. Lots of love to you and your family. From one grieving mother to another ❤️
I’m thinking and praying for you and saying sweet Ansley’s name, she is not forgotten! She has made a new friend named Liam(10/9/14) up in heaven who is my nephew and I’m sure they are smiling down at us.
I’m praying for you Jessica, your family and sweet Ansley. I know all to well the pain you are living through everyday. My sweet Colton would have been 4 this coming November and his Angle day in December. Everyday is a struggle and I think of him always. Keep remembering your sweet girl and keep her memory alive and strong. Xoxo
I’m honoring you and your beautiful angel Ansley today. I hope that the timelessness of your love for her brings you comfort and peace for at least a tiny moment each day. Blessings, mama.
Jessica, from Williamsport, PA I am sorry for your loss. Ansley was a beautiful child. I can’t imagine your pain. I hope friends, family and our Heavenly Father will help you through difficult days. Hugs & prayers from one mama to another.
Ansley has met my son in Heaven who departed last year in July . May the pain become more and more bearable. much love
How I wish I’d have seen this on Ansley’s angel day. What a precious angel in sure she is! Know you are not alone in your grief as you continue through life as HER mama. Sending love and prayers your way from SJ’s mama in Biloxi, MS.
I am thinking of you and Ansley today. What a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl! She will never be forgotten, and I’m sure she’s looking down on you now, proud of all you’ve done to keep her memory alive! Lots of prayers and love,
Lorry from Ohio ❤️
Ansley is loved beyond words, I’m sure of this. Please don’t be upset at your friends and family as they are hurting as well and it might be for their sakes that they don’t say what we grieving parents need and long to hear. Please cherish in those that do show up and those that are by your side. Those are the Angels that put aside their own grief to make space to help you. Sending you a ton of love and wishing you strength to help you through this.
Ansley is a beautiful name! I feel your pain and can relate. We lost our daughter, Amber, July 3rd, 2015 at 20 weeks. I feel very much that she is forgotten by the world around me. I feel called to keep sharing her with the world though so people are aware. Thank you for speaking up. That takes tremendous courage! July 14th is my birthday. Even though the day has passed, I will say a silent prayer and say Ansley’s name. Prayers and hugs from a far!
Sending you love and courage as you honour your baby girl, Ansley. With love from Toronto, ontario Canada
Dear Jessica, I’m thinking of you and Ansley. Thank you for your words of wisdom as I also have a sister who lost baby Brian and a friend who lost Baby Isaac. Sometimes we don’t speak about it thinking we will cause more pain….naïve, I guess. But I Thank You for teaching me a lesson today…that is okay to say their names….to speak to them openly.
Thinking of Ansley today as well as a grieving mama friend who’s angwlversary is approaching fast for her baby Scott. I lost one of my two precious twin boys the day they were born. Henry was stillborn at 36 weeks, and his perfectly healthy baby brother Owen is 4 months old today. Sending hugs from Delaware, Ohio.
What a great article and question! Ansley will be etched in my heart after reading this!
Mandi – Minnesota
All my love and support. Our daughters are together. Thanks for your words.
Andrea’s angel mom
I wish there could be a blog post like this for every mom who has lost a little one. But since there isn’t I will definitely take my time to send my love to you and your family as we all stop and think about your sweet Ansley today. I hope others express their love in person as well!
Thinking of you.
Thinking of you.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ansley today. Thank you for sharing your story and reminding us what friendship and neighborly love should look like in times of grief. I hope with all my heart you find the peace you are seeking.
Annie, Seal Beach, CA
I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about your beautiful daughter Ansley and you and your family. It’s so unfair that we get to speak about our living children everyday, all the time but rarely can we speak about those who have passed, even though we think about them all the time. I am so sorry for your loss and pain. Jenny, Ontario, Canada
Remembering Ansley today and everyday – i too have two beautiful angels in heaven – Storm and Rayne – Im sure they are all playing together. She is one beautiful guardian angel you have watching over you
Ansley was a beautiful little girl. Love to you through all your present pain and future joy.
Thinking of you and your beautiful Anskey today .
Thinking of you today as you mourn, cry, laugh and love today and in the years to come for your sweet angel, Ansley. Losing a child fundamentally changes parents in their core. Praying for you as you learn this new person you are and will evolve into.
I hope both our sweet girls are laughing and playing on this sacred day. We will remember. You are not alone.
Sending you love,
I will keep you and your precious daughter Ansley in my prayers. Sending you and every angel parent so much love.
Pam (Palm City, FL)
Hi Jessica. Just stoppjng by to say you are on my heaart today. My son died 20,months ago. Having support from friends is ao important. Praying for you today. Nancy
This completely touched me!! My HS sweetheart and I reunited 5.5 years ago.. He lost his son in 2006 when he was 8 years old.. His birthday and his angel day are always very hard for him and even days between… There’s not a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about him.. He’s a very “I’m going to hold it in tough guy” when it comes to his feelings but when he finally let’s those feelings go,, it breaks my heart that there isn’t a thing I can do that will take his heartache away and bring back his sweet boy Lucas!!
My heart and prayers are with you today on your sweet Ansley’s 9th birthday in Heaven!!!
Jessica, I am thinking of you today. I know Ansley has the best baby sitter watching her right now. My daughter is taking good care of her. My Jenna passed away just a few weeks ago. She was 20. She loved taking care of babies. I know she will hold your baby close. I feel your pain. I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful angel.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beautiful little Ansley. May God comfort you, sweet Momma. Our granddaughter lost her little Kinley and I know how important it is to her also as it is to us, to keep her memory alive. You find yourself looking at her siblings and wishing she were here doing the family things with us all. I miss having been able to watch her grow and seeing her reach each birthday party and milestone. I will see her again one day and it will be forever. Love, a Great Grandmother
Thinking of Jessica and Ansley and their families and Wesley and his family too. Not just today, but always
In Anchorage AK
You and your beautiful daughter are in my thoughts. My son’s angel day is 7/12. I whole heartedly agree with you! We need to hear our child’s name and to know they are not forgotten by others. We remember them every day so people should not be afraid of reminding us. You are not alone! Ansley will forever be remembered!
Thinking of you and your family on Ansley’s angel day! Hope you can feel my love and prayers from Toledo, Ohio.
Know that at least one complete stranger and fellow mom is thinking of you and sweet little Ansley today. I’m a stepmom, and my daughter came to me just three years ago in the form of an adorable little blonde blue-eyed 9-year-old who clearly inherited her dad’s wicked sense of humor. She’s everything to her Dad and me. I can’t even begin to imagine the sheer strength and will it would take to go on without her.
Although we’ve never met, I count you among the strongest people I know. To stand and speak the way you did in a room full of 400 people about this incredibly important subject is truly awe inspiring. .
Love and blessings to you and Ansley on her angel day.
Wendi – Colorado Springs, CO
Holding you close and remembering Ansley with you today and always.
Elaine ~ Chester, Virginia
Jessica, thinking of you and Ansley today, hope we can help you find the path you need today. If you chat with your Ansley today tell her to look for my Dad, his name is Ray, big dude, goofy looking, he will be near the ice cream (his heaven is full of ice cream for sure), he gave great hugs so I have asked him to pass one along to her. Love wins Mama, thanks for the reminder.
I am sending you love and light and thinking about you and Ansley today. My Rabbi says in services; May the God who keeps peace in high places, grant peace in you. Seems fitting for you, today.
Thinking of sweet Ansley! Prayers from Lexington, KY. There are no words, but I will hold a part of the sadness for you today.
Thinking of you and little Ansley, and it won’t be just for today. I’m a bereaved mom too and I try and show people that is ok to say Josh’s name. I run a small group for bereaved moms where we can talk about our children, laugh, cry, or moan about a bad week! Hugs to every single bereaved parent, grandparent, sibling… the list goes on.
Hi Dear Ansley. Your photos are beautiful. And you are clearly quite loved. Jessica, trust that you are not alone. The strength of Ansley’s spirit is so apparent.
Thing of Ansley and her loving mom.
Jessica, I have no idea if you’re going to read this– but I just stumbled on this blog, and this post, and your experience, has helped me– and I’m hoping everyone here has helped you. Thinking of you and your precious girl, Ansley. Be well. (Boston, MA)
Of course I am going to read it 🙂
Hi Jessica –
I read this post last year too and because of you and Ansley, I was a better friend to someone I love who lost their own child. I showed up. I said the child’s name over and over again. I sent texts, cards, meals and called and still do. I wished her a happy mother’s day when others felt it was “inappropriate.” I know now that keeping that child’s spirit alive is more important than anything to her. I am in Chicago and today, I am remembering Ansley and this lesson you taught me.
Wishing you God’s peace today as you celebrate Ansley’s life, Jessica. Peace and love from Arden Hills, Minnesota.
I am in Minnesota, and only have heard of you and Ansley today. I am thinking of you both 🙂
Please know that you and Ansley are being remembered today and prayed for tonight by me and my family. I am so sorry for your loss and hope that each day you will see reminders of your sweet little daughter. She’ll always be with you.
Much love, Beth
Hello Jessica – I read this post and found myself very emotionally moved by it. Thank you for sharing this. May we celebrate the live of your beautiful Ansley as well as all loved ones we have lost and remember fondly!
–Kaydee (Minneapolis, MN)
Jessica, I just wanted you to know hat I’m thinking of you and Ansley today.
Thinking of you and your sweet Ansley on this Angel Day. Sending prayers with love from MN.
Thank you for sharing your Angel and bringing light to our world. I hope you can imagine Ansley flying high today, her Angel Day!
My heart goes out to you,
My thoughts are with you and Ansley. I can’t even imagine the pain of losing a child. Prayers and hope for healing from Maryland.
I stopped today and read your story. You and your precious baby are worth stopping the world for a moment to remember and honor the memory of your beautiful sweet baby girl, Ansley. What a beautiful name. I’m so sorry you don’t get to watch your Ansley girl grow.
Supporting you and lifting you up from Austin, Texas
I’m thinking of you and Ansley today. I lost my darling baby girl Reason Rayne Hannum on November 11th of last year. There are way too many of us who have had our worlds lost. I love you in the way only another loss mama can. Your daughter is so beautiful and an amazing light that was lost.
Jessica, I’m thinking about you and Ansley this afternoon. I’m sorry you’re not together in flesh, but I’m sure you’re together in spirit.
Love to Jessica today! I hope you feel Ansley with you in your heart through all of these posts. God bless you.
Ansley is in my thoughts and prayers today along with my daughter, Veyla. I too grieve and cry and long for her to come back just as you do with Ansley. I lost her 5 weeks ago tomorrow. I am usually good with words, but I am at a loss today…and have been for a month now. I wish the world could stop for you and for all of us who know such a loss. I wish that everyone could meet and know our sweet angels. I send you love and understanding from Greenville, SC. Happy Birthday, Ansley.
Today of all days, July 14, I came across this post. Remembering your precious angel, Jessica. Thinking and praying of you and Ansley today. I am so sorry for your loss. Audrey from Ohio
Our hearts share the same hollow sinking loneliness that longs for our childs smile, to share in their most recent accomplishment, to comfort and assure them in moments of loss or doubt. All those events I felt I would be needed for are now mere fantasy of what I thought would be my role as a father. Of everyone I know only one pair of gentlemen who I had met one from the other, actually came by, spoke with me about my son Ryan, insisted I go with them out for dinner, called and checked on me. Most everyone else immediately after my son Ryan’s passing gave the “I’m so Sotty, if you need anything let me know.”
My grief is of its own nature as mine is of a father whose son Ryan, took his own life on 10/22/2013, at the age of 27. The sudden and horrific circumstances that happened that day put me in a state of shock where I relived Ryan’s passing over and over again in my mind each time ending with me shouting out No Ryan, God Damn It No. There was no one else present at Ryan’s passing but he and his already made decision that he’d had all he could bare. The feelings of having failed Ryan as a father still overwhem me at times, even after professional grief counseling and countless scores of reads of others who have experienced a similar loss.
For myself the catharsis brought through self disclosure has brought the most satisfying inner peace. To have an audiance whether in person or by written corresponence who inquire about how I feel or remember something about Ryan that leads into a conversation of him is heart warming and leaves me feeling that through our memories Ryan continues to live. My fear is in not talking and reliving events passed involving Ryan, because without those he is forgotten. I don’t know if I’ve communicated this where it makes sense to anyone else but me. All I know is that I welcome anyone that knows Ryan, or those that would want to know Ryan, that I am always open and would cherish the chance to talk with each the other.
My sincerest Thank You to thiose who took a momebt to rwad this reply to Jessica.
Thinking of you David, and Ryan, and you Jessica and Ansley. Thank you, Glennon. With love, Courtney in Brooklyn
I am heartbroken for you and I’m crying with you for the loss of Ansley. I hope you are feeling the love of the sisterhood that surrounds you from afar. We are holding you tight, remembering Ansley and the precious time you had with her.
Glennon, I am sure you hear this many times in many ways, but I just wanted you to know that your writing makes a difference. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us feel. This was my facebook post yesterday on what would have been my daughter’s 11th birthday. We found out while we were pregnant with her that she would not live long after she was born and it was indeed the most brutiful thing I have every experienced…..
My very favorite blogger describes life as “brutiful”….both beautiful and brutal, not because we’re doing it wrong, but because we’re doing it right. I can think of no more brutiful day in my life then the one where I brought my beautiful daughter into this world and then had to give her back. I do wholeheartedly believe we did something right that day – we brought a miracle into the world. A beautiful baby girl who taught us about the limitless depths of our love, the boundless strength of the human spirit, and the tremendous privilege it is to be parents. I miss her each and every day but I am forever grateful for the lessons she taught me and the love she left with me. Today, in honor of her birthday I am sharing a little bit of that love…perhaps you will consider honoring her as well through a kind gesture or a good deed. Knowing she is remembered and continues to touch this world in some small way is the greatest present we can possibly be given. Happy 11th Birthday Audrey Elizabeth – sending love and kisses up to heaven!!!
Some of the most important moments are not the ones you will never have but the ones you had. I too lost my son. I also expirenced some friends disappearing. It is part of life I guess. I’m so very grateful for the ones who do and will always recognized the significant event of his passing. Try to not let the ones who disappeared define how to move forward. Life grants us paths to new and wonderful jouneys.
I don’t even have a child yet, but I cannot fathom the pain and loss you must feel. I don’t have the “right” words to say, but I pray that you would be comforted, that you would feel God’s presence, that no one would ever forget your precious Ansley. Thank you for sharing your loss and opening our eyes to the pain others carry.
As a momma who also has an angel baby who was stillborn Michele Grace 4/3/11. I understand how people seem to forget ( more they are afraid to make me cry ) it’s good to cry and feel those feelings and for people to feel them too. I say a pray for you and your family and hope that you can find some comfort on your angel Ansleys day.
We had a stillborn little boy, Jess, 31 years ago. Believe me, we HAVE come a long way. No one knew what to do with us, or say to us. I had a picture of this beautiful boy that no one wanted to see. He mattered to us. There was no reason for the death, and at full term, I was so ready for him… Breasts leaking milk, hormones a mess… But hardly a conversation . He shaped our lives in so many ways.
This was sent to me on mothers day – in remembrance of my daughter Finleigh Harper Pace. We lost her 2/25/15. Your words are wise and comforting. There are no right words during times like this and it doesn’t get easier. But hearing her name brings a smile to my face every time. Just as Ansley’s name does for you. We are their mothers and always will be. The short time we were allowed to have them, both blessed us and made us who we are. I love that my princess has a angel friend. God bless you and your family!
Spring Hill, TN
In a word, YES. hank you for saying what is so hard to say so others understand. I will think of Ansley along with all the other angel babies, as well as the ones desired and never had the chance to live in Earth. Our baby girl would have been 6 this past April, and although we do a lot of charity work in her name – many still hesitate to say her name. I believe Ansley, Alle Shea, and so many others are smiling down on us, trying to comfort us with the few precious memories that we have.
Dear Jessica, I am thinking of you right now and of the idea that losing one’s child is the worst possible grief I could ever conceive of. It is what scares me most in life and I weep now thinking of the incredible burden you carry in your heart. I pray that your burden may take on a different, lighter quality some day. Perhaps now knowing that those of us in this forum are with you – at least trying to feel with you. Your Angel will always be with you – and now a little bit with me! Much love from a very small place in Texas.
Ansley is beautiful and her pictures brought laughter to my eyes. Thank you for sharing them; and for speaking about your sadness and loss, and helping us understand a little better.
Standing with you with hugs and love,
May no one person ever not acknowledge that you are Ainsley’s Mom. I pray this note gets around and people understand once Ainsley was gone your pain still continued and continues still today. I pray they do the same for everyone they know who looses a child unexpectedly. May God bless and keep you all the rest of you life until you Ainsley’s Mom will be reunited with her again in eternity.
my friend shared this on my Facebook yesterday,my first mother’s day since my 19 year firstborn child was killed.My heart goes out to you and the loss of your precious baby Ansley.I know just how you feel.I hope that many many people read your words and help make our new journey as grieving mother slightly less awful.
love and prayers to you and your family
I cried when I read this story. Your little Ansley is waited in heaven for you and you will be united with her in the end. It’s heartbreaking to see young women lose a child and there is no closure. Please know that many people wish you well and pray for peace for you and your family.
Thinking of Ansley and you today. Prayers, peace and love coming to you.
remembering your precious angel, Jessica.
Thinking of you and Ansley.
I live in the UK and saw this on fb.
wishing you love and peace
Dear Jessica, I just want to say that I am thinking of you and this story really touched my heart and made me cry. See, my grandson was killed in a horrible car accident on October 18, 2014. I miss him dearly and so does my son and daughter-in-law. Some of her friends have fallen to the wayside or just stopped visiting or calling and I know Lena (my daughter-in-law) would love the company from them but I think they don’t know what to say. I get scared at times when I call my daughter-in-law to talk to her about my grandson, but I want to talk about Olan (my dear grandson) to her and my son and need that conversation with them as I’m sure they also need that conversation as well. I am going to share this with my son and daughter-in-law because I feel she needs to see this, just like I did. Someone shared it with me of which I was happy that she did. I feel your loss and pray that God will bring you peace some how and someway so that you can make it through each and every day, month and year.
Jessica, want you to know I am thinking of you and your sweet girl Ansley, as I know how you feel on this day and lots of others days. My daughter Amiee died at 16 in a car accident 13 years ago. Not a day goes by I don’t think of her. I am glad you wrote what you did because so many of us feel that way. Wish you peace as you remember the great things of Ansley. Sending hugs your way. ..Cindy from Colorado
Thank you for telling us what is important to you. Ansley is a beautiful little girl and I hope the joy she brought you sustains you. I am so very sorry for your loss. I will include Ansley and you and your family in my prayers.
Dear Jessica, I am thinking of you and Ansley on this special day. Happy mother’s day. May you feel Ansley’s presence as you remember what a sweet, smart and precious child she was. I’m so sorry for your pain. Lindsay
Ps. I live in Rochester New York