Last month, I was in a room with four hundred women, and we were laughing and crying and just BEING together. Halfway through our time together, a woman stood up and said, “Glennon, what would you say to help people understand the importance of being there for a friend who has lost a child? We lost our daughter, Ansley, seven years ago and most of our friends and family have just fallen away. Now on her birthday and Angel Day- I might receive a card or two. It’s just not enough. Our baby is gone and we need the people who knew her to talk to us about her, but they don’t. Everyone we loved is just silent about it. It makes me feel like Ansley is forgotten. It feels like the world is pretending she never existed.”
I just looked at her for a long moment. The room was completely silent. It was clear to everyone that this woman had single-handedly escorted the four hundred of us into the most important moment of the evening.
I finally said, “What is your name?”
She said, “Jessica.”
I said, “Jessica- you tell us. What would YOU tell people to do?”
And she said, “SHOW UP. Show up right away and then keep showing up. Don’t worry about saying the right thing, there is no right thing. Just say SOMETHING. Just tell us you haven’t forgotten. And say their name. It’s like people are afraid to remind me of her- as if I’m not already thinking about her every moment of every day. Everyone avoids her name- but we still need to hear their names spoken by people who loved them.”
I thanked Ansley’s mama for saying what we all needed to hear. For telling us that when it comes to tragedy- what a friend does is pull together all her brave and run towards the heartbreak and mightily resist the urge to try to fix it and instead just sit in it and soak up a little bit of the love and pain.
And then she says her name. Often. Because your friend is still Ansley’s mama, as certainly and surely and eternally and solidly as you are the mama of your babies. That’s who she STILL IS. Somehow now more than ever. She doesn’t know herself any other way and she doesn’t want to. And so when you don’t acknowledge that part of her, it’s like you’re not even there with her. She needs you to be there with her. With Ansley’s grieving mama.
I said, “Jessica. I don’t know what to say. But listen, I’ll tell you one thing. Ansley’s Angel Day is not going to pass silently this year. I know some people who would love nothing more than to stop and remember Ansley with you. They are the Monkees. You tell me Ansley’s date and then you visit us on her day. “
And Jessica cried and we all cried together – all four hundred of us – for the loss of a baby girl and the pain of a mother and the soothing balm of women who rush toward each other and sit and cry with each other and just give up on saying too many words at all.
Today is Ansley’s Angel Day- July 14. I imagine that Jessica will wake up this morning and look out her window and wonder how in the world it is that the world can keep spinning on the day that her own world died.
I would like for us to stop the world for a moment today to remember Ansley, to honor Jessica, and to hold space for all of our sisters’ great loss and pain and love. Let us do this in two ways:
- Please leave a comment here for Jessica. She will be reading today. Let us show her we cared enough to STOP today and say Ansley’s name. Let us tell her that she is not the only one who is feeling the width and depth today of the loss of Ansley. Also, in your comment- tell Jessica where you’re from. It makes the love feel more real when you can see that it’s covering the globe.
- Then please, in honor of Ansley and Jessica- call to mind a friend who has suffered a great loss and then reach out to her. If you can’t call her, email her. If you can’t email her, text her. Don’t let your lack of time or the perfect thing to say stop you. Just do it. Stop the world for a moment in honor of her. That’s what we do when we pause in the middle of a busy day to reach out to someone who is hurting. We say “to me, you are worth stopping the world for.”
MS-MD has donated $700 to the Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood Program in honor of Precious Ansley (who would have been a nine year old girl today) and in honor of her Warrior Mama, Jessica, and in honor of all of you who have lost your babies. I am stopping my world today to tell you that I have no perfect words. I am just here, and I am so very, very sorry.
Love,
G and TWMF
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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4,536 Comments
Just came across this post and wanted to comment. Sending you love and thoughts from Indiana. Your Ansley is not forgotten. ❤️
Hello Jessica,
Not sure if you’ll see this 15 years later, but this is sort of therapy for me too. I just happen to be sitting on Ansley’s swing bench at Chastain Park. It struck me to the core because my daughter is currently 2 years 2 mo old. It breaks my heart to read how you felt deserted by friends and family. I can’t imagine your experience when she passed but sitting here I’m reminded to make the most of every day and every opportunity. God does put us in times and places for a reason and I feel like little (or teenage) Ansley is encouraging me right now to be the best father I can be for my little one. I hope that this message makes you smile and comforted. Know that her Angel Day (just 11 days after my little one’s birthday) now has much meaning to this stranger.
Cheers!
I did see this! Thank you. Ansley would have graduated from high school last month. I check in here every now and then to see if anyone has commented. Thank you for taking the time and for remembering her.
Jessica
Crying as I read this. May our collective tears be the balm for your pain that we all share. We belong to each other. I pray for beauty in place of ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. I love you, Jessica and all mothers who have lost their angels.
Hi Jessica,
Thinking of you and Ansley. I lost my 7 year old son a year ago. I know your heartbreak. Who knows maybe my Clayton and your Ansley and friends 🙂 We will always remember and love our kids.
Thinking of you and your family, I know today is not the day, but I am sure every day is about Ansley for you. Sending love and peace
I too just came cross this blog post and only wish I would’ve seen it sooner. God bless you and your family. I’m thinking of you and Ansley today and will forever be reminded of you both when faced with the question of “what can I do?” Thanks to you, I better understand and look forward to helping Ansley live on in so many ways. Happy Angel Day sweet girl. You are loved by so many.
Your precious daughter will not be forgotten
Big hug from Kingston, Ontario, Canada.
Jessica. I am just reading this because a sweet friend shared this post. I too lost my baby on August 5, 2014. He was 44 but he was still my baby. You are so right. Friends are there in what they think are your darkest days then they drift away. Your dark days continue on and on and are never ending. I am praying for you and will do so daily. I pray that God gives every mother who has to endure the loss of their child some semblance of peace. It never ever gets easier no matter what people say. Bless you and your Angel.
Happy Angel day, Ansley and Jessica. You are always together! I send you love and prayers. Jessica, thank you for putting into words what so many can not. Thank you for answering that impossible, ageless question, “What can I do?”.
I pray for you that God will give you comfort daily and remind you that your precious Ansley is sitting at the feet of Jesus in perfect health and joy. She will greet you with open arms one day and your sadness will melt away. May god remind you of His love on a daily basis and may you feel His presence and strength.
It is a mom’s worst nightmare to lose a child. My heart aches for you and the loss of your dear Ansley. Sending love and prayers you and your family’s way from a mom in Slidell, LA.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Ansley and the family. If I could take all the pain away I would. She will always be in our memories.
Love from New Jersey
I only just read this article and wanted to say much love to you and to your little angel Ansley. I can’t imagine your pain, Jessica, but I wanted to say that your strength to speak up when you did inspires me to be brave with friends who are going through difficult times. Thank you, from Perth, Western Australia
Remembering Ansley,
Jessica, your perfect Ansley is not forgotten. Your beautiful girl is the flutter in your heart, the blue in the sky, the smile opening you up. That’s not a star lighting the way, it’s Ansley shining love and laughter all over, for all of us. Jessica, may the courage and grace you need be with you each day. Love to you Mama Warrior, from San Francisco.
Jessica,
My heart is aching for you and the loss of Ansley. I cannot fathom your pain. Hugs from Montana
It’s passed Ansley’s Angel Day but I will certainly remember your beautiful baby today. I’m sure she is proud of her beautiful and brave Mama xx
Love from Northern Ireland
Xxxxxxxx
Dear Jessica,
I am so so sorry for your loss. Ansley was beautiful and perfect, and Jesus is holding her right now and forever and always. Unfortunately I am seeing this post 3 months too late, but it has come on a great day to stop and just be still. And remember those who are struggling. Your story is powerful and there is purpose in the struggle. I truly believe that. I hope your day is going well today. <3
Sending love and prayers from Fort Worth, TX:
Shelby
Dear Jessica,
I am so sorry for your loss. Ansley was a beautiful, precious little girl. She looks so much like you! I am remembering you and Ansley and your whole family this morning.
Cheryl
Birmingham, AL
My heart just aches for you and your family, Jessica. I’m breathing in and breathing out, just thinking of what Ansley must have been like. Dearest, sweetest angel.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m thinking of you and your sweet Ansley today from St Paul MN.
Jessica –
I am thinking of you, and of Ansley and am sending my love.
Jessica, I am thinking of your Ansley today, as she is remembered all days.
Thank you, Jessie. My neighbor will mark the “angel day” of her sweet Amanda next week. Because of your brave words, I know what to say to her. I will drop by her house, speak her daughter’s name, and remind her that we remember, we will always remember, and we grieve with her.
Blessings on you, Ansley’s mama. You are a gift.
from Richmond, Virginia
*meant “Jessica” above.
typing through the tears and too fast!
Lavaida Vandelia
Jessica –
I don’t know what your beliefs are but I KNOW you will be with Ansley again and get to raise her one day. No really. I know this. Thanks for being brave enough to stand up and be vulnerable. Love to you from Roseville, CA.
God bless you. I hope you feel peace. God bless you.
I have just seen this today Sept. 9th. God Bless you and when you feel sad cry out to Jesus for he will heal your bleeding heart.
Sandi Fielder
Happy Belated Angel Day to Ansley!
Jessica, I know your pain as I lost my 19 month old daughter a little over 2 months ago. My peace and comfort come from knowing that my daughter is safe in the arms of Jesus! She is still smiling, laughing and playing but in heaven where there are no more tears, no more pain, no more death!
Prayers and Hugs to you!
I was given a bookmark with the following poem:
The Reunion Heart
Since Heaven has become your home
I sometimes feel I’m so alone;
and though we now are far apart
you hold a big piece of my heart.
I never knew how much I’d grieve
when it was time for you to leave,
or just how much my heart would ache
from that one fragment you would take.
God lets this tender hole remain
reminding me we’ll meet again,
and one day all the pain will cease
when He restores this missing piece.
He’ll turn to joy my every tear
with thoughts of you I hold so dear,
and they’ll become my special way
to treasure our Reunion Day.
Happy Angel Day Jessica. My heart stopped for a moment when I read this article. You will forever be in my heart and prayers from this day forward. I know there is nothing I could say/type that would ease your daily pain. Just know you have a Sweet Angel in Heaven! Hugs & much Love sent your way.
I am so sorry that I am just reading this now but please know my heart and my prayers and love are with you Jessica and your family and with beautiful Ansley. I will continue to keep you both in my heart and in my prayers. May God Bless you.
Jessica, thank you for giving everyone the freedom to speak from the heart and risk saying the wrong thing. The reminder that saying something is better than nothing at all. Your courage is amazing and I am saddened to the core for the imeasurable loss of your beautiful Ansley. She is in the arms of Jesus, entirely and passionately loved and completely safe and secure.
Hi Jessica,
Unfortunately, I am just now reading this post. I apologize for going past Ansley’s Angel Day, but I hope that the continual drip of comments are still surrounding your heart with great big love from all over the globe. No part of me can imagine the loss of a child. Big hugs from Texas, Ansley’s mama!
Jessica,
It’s not July 14. It’s August 27. But I just read this post and I’m so sorry for your loss. The beginning of school is probably very hard too. Ansley is the name of the street where I grew up, and July 14 is my wedding anniversary. I don’t know if that helps you or not to know that there was joy on a day filled with so much horrific pain.
You are loved, mama.
Dear Jessica,
I just read Glennon’s post. I am thinking of you, your daughter Ansley, and all your family and friends who knew her and miss her.
I hope you can feel the love and hugs coming to you from Vancouver, British Columbia.
I’m sure you have so many beautiful memories of Ansley’s life. Thank you for sharing some with me through your pictures of her.
I hope you feel some peace today and especially on Ansley’s Angel Day each year.
Jessica,
I’m holding you and your sweet girl in my thoughts with love and prayers that healing and joy visit you again.
Dara from Indianapolis, IN
Love and a BIG hug from Hawaii!!!!!
Sending you so much love and so many blessings from Virginia. I hope that you are able to find peace. My love to Jessica. My love to Ansley.
Our son would be 29 this year and although the grief has changed, mellowed, we still miss him every day. My heart goes out to Ansley’s family, especially her mother and father. I have a little blog about this and it helps so much to write or talk about what is real!
I’m so very sorry. Hugs and tears from Boerne, TX.
Dear Jessica,
Thank you for telling us Ansley’s story and telling us what to do in these awful situations. You are so brave to reach out and ask for what you need and let others know how to reach out to someone else. Loving thoughts from Pelham, Alabama.
Hi Jessica! I just read your article for the first time. I’m typing this in tears as I cannot imagine the immense amount of pain you feel each an every day. Your sweet beautiful daughter is an angel. She is a precious reminder of how fragile life truly is. I will hug my baby extra tight tonight while thinking about your sweet baby girl. Sending big ((HUGS)) to you from Zebulon North Carolina. May god shine an extra light on you and watch you dearly and let you know how proud your baby is, looking down on you and seeing her memory of life continue on. Your sweet baby will never be forgotten.
I just read this post and wanted to send you a virtual hug. “HUG” all the way from Richmond, TX (Houston area). I get it. I feel the same when family/friends don’t mention our son, Sam. It’s so important to talk about them. They were here. They were real. They changed who we are. And it hurts so much with out them. I know Ansley, Sam and many more sweet children are running along the streets of Heaven. That is what I cling to. That thought gets me through each day until we meet again. Blessings to you……….
Dear Jessica — I too only just read this post, but I too want to honor and bless the life of your daughter Ansley. My tears fall for her and you and me and for my lost boy, Daniel, and for all of us who live and remember those we love. Thank you for your brave words and your brave love. From Whittier, CA.
I lost a precious angel too. Her name was Holly and I miss her every day. You are in my thoughts. Maybe our girls are playing together in heaven. Ansley and Holly. Makes me smile.
Jessica,
Your Ansley was a precious child and is being thought of with love from Drewsville, NH.
A beautiful friend shared your story with me. Know that you are not alone. I too am an Angel Mom. My lost my only child, my daughter Bethany on April 12, 2010, she was 19. I am sending my hugs & prayers to you today & each day forward. Speak Ansley name proudly & frequently remembering happy & sad times. Whether you laugh, cry, or get angry…speak her name! Ansley fly high Baby Girl & hug my Bethany for me.
I just read this post today, but Jessica, I want you to know I’m thinking of & praying for you. I used to have the mindset that made me uncomfortable to mention a deceased loved one for fear it would “remind” that person & cause them pain. After losing my brother many years ago, I realized immediately how wrong I’d been & how the opposite is true. I LOVE hearing from my brother’s friends & acquaintances! Thank you for telling others how to comfort those who have lost someone. I hope each day without your precious daughter gets a little bit easier & the pain slowly ebbs away a little more until you are reunited again in Heaven some day. Bless you from Altoona, IA.
Dearest Jessica, You were brave when you lost Ansley – you were brave when you spoke out about how to be there for someone who experiences the death of a child – you are brave getting up each morning and facing the day without her. YOU are brave. Ansley is remembered today because of her brave Mother. My heart physically hurts for you as my throat closes up trying to swallow down the tears on your behalf. I’m so, so sorry for the loss, pain, and suffering you’ve endured. May God surely bless you in the days to come. From Midland, TX…
Not the ‘right’ day but can only believe that it will bless your life to know your girl is remembered on more days than her Angel day – as well as from around the world. I found my way here today because the 13 year old, beautiful daughter of a co-worker died on the weekend and the 15 year old daughter of some other parents was driving the car and will live with the responsibility for the rest of her life. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child and your bravery and your words provide guidance to those like me – to be able to be there for those who suffer this loss. My gratitude – from Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada
Thinking of you tonight Jessica, and your sweet Ansley. Thank you for sharing your story and for helping us to reach out to those whose hearts are hurting so deeply. Ansley must be very proud of her Mom. Are thoughts and prayers are with you in Tampa, FL
My heart aches for you Jessica. I want you to know that I am sending hugs from Las Vegas, NV. xoxo
Thank you so much for sharing Ansley with the world – please know that I am sending my thoughts and prayers for you from Pittsford, NY. Michelle
Happy Belated Angel Day! from Lovettsville, VA
Thank you Jessica for letting us know how to help. Ansley is at peace with Jesus, but that doesn’t stop your pain. So sorry for your pain. I cannot imagine how hard it must be. sending a never ending hug your way today and everyday.
From Newton, Massachusetts, by the way.
I just read this. I’m so sad for you, Jessica, tears in my eyes. I’m so very sorry that you lost Ansley. What a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. Thank you for speaking up that day to Glennon. What a brave thing to do.
Thinking about precious Ansley tonight in Falls Church, VA. Sending love to her mama, Jessica.
I would’ve written on sweet Ansley’s Angel day but just found this blog and this sad pits today. So know on aug. 12, there was someone in Evans GA, that looked closely at the pictures and shed a tear in her honor. Sweet angel indeed.
I meant to say “sad post” not pits but I guess being sad feels like the pits.
Hello!
I just came across this blog today and am a bit late. My heart goes out to you and your family, Jessica. I hope that you had a blessed Angel Day in honor of your sweet Ansley.
Oh, I am in central Florida.
I am stopping my world at 12:17 am from Santa Barbara, Ca to think of you and your precious daughter. Words would never be enough, but if I was with you I would give you a hug until you let go. I hope you are finding more support for what you truly need. How brave of you to speak up so that others can learn how to help in such a difficult situation.
Namaste
Jessica, like many others, I came to this blog late and I wish Ansley a belated Happy Angel Day. Thank you for being brave and speaking out as you did about her passing and your pain. I send you hugs. Your Ansley’s beautiful spirit lives on and she has touched many lives.
Jessica, my heart aches for you and the loss of your beautiful baby girl. Thank you for sharing your story. Know that you are not alone and Ansley will not be forgotten.
Ansley’s momma, thanks so much for your powerful words. They came to me at the right time so that I can continue to help a dear friend in need. Know that Ansley is up there working to help other mommas in need. My heart aches for your loss. May you find some small amount of peace and comfort in knowing your words have made a big difference, Jessica. Thank you!
Hello I am Maria from Willowemoc, NY. Just reading this blog today 8/11 but I wanted to say Happy Belated Angel Day. Jessica I believe Ansley misses you as much as you miss her. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Hi, this is Courtney from Dallas, TX. A bit late to reading this post. But today, I am thinking about Ansley. What a beautiful angel.
Happy belated angel day to Jessica, Ansley’s sweet mama. I hope that our collective tears and prayers and silent hugs can help you bear the grief.
Jessica,
Thank you for telling us about Ansley. I missed her Angel Day, but I am thinking about her today. You are not alone, and she is not forgotten.
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious daughter, Ansley. Happy belated Angel Day! I lost my precious daughter, Lunden, on May 14, 2014. This is her Angel Day. Praying for you and your family.
So much Love and sadness here. Let the Love alleviate the pain and let God’s light shine through and reach your deepest needs. Rain down precious blessings on Ansley mama and all of those who share your pain.
Dear Jessica,
Oh gosh, she’s just beautiful. Those eyes. Such a beautiful little girl. I love her name. All of my children have names that begin with the letter A, so I’m a huge fan of “A” names. Ansley is a beautiful name. How did you find her name? It’s not a common name. At least, I don’t hear it too often. I have a daughter named Aislynn, which is also not very common here in the U.S. but I think in Ireland it’s common.
I’m a little late in reading this post, but I just want you to know that I’m up late tonight enjoying a little “me” time while the kiddos are sleeping…and I’m spending this time looking at your precious daughter’s photos and I’m thinking of you. I’m so sorry for your loss. Ansley looks as if she was a very sweet little girl, perhaps a little shy? What was her personality like? Do you have a blog with stories about her? I can only imagine how much you miss her. It’s not fair 🙁
Ansley was a beautiful little girl and I am so sorry for you that she is gone.Thank you for sharing your thoughts about her. Praying for your comfort and peace.
Your pain may be overwhelming, but we will help you carry it awhile. We’ll take turns, for as long as you need us. We don’t all know each other, but I’m a firm believer in the sisterhood. We love your Ansley, and we love you.
Amanda
It is after the date but I just wanted to say how lovely her daughter Ansley was and how deeply, deeply sorry I am for Jessica’s loss. I can’t imagine the bravery it takes to live through that amount of pain. All my love.
You are forever missed and loved. Not just your birthday or your angel day. Every single day. RIP little love!
Angel Baby
Don’t you cry
God gave you wings
To run and Fly
Kiss your Mommy
Everyday
Let Her know that
You’re OK
She will see you
When it’s time
And read your favorite
Nursery Rhyme
Pretty Angel
Precious Girl
Little Ainsley
Mama’s world
You have touched so many hearts! Thank You for touching mine. Happy Angel Day, Precious Girl.
Your daughter is truly an angel, and from the few pictures I saw has a zest for life. You have every right to miss this gift bestowed upon you with Ainsley!
I believe she will always be apart of you and in time provide comfort. Or at least thus is what I pray for .
Jessica I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter Ansley. I pray God wraps His arms around you & comforts you in a much more intimate way.
Sorry to be reading late, but I wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you.
I was apparently meant to find this, as today is angel day for my little boy. no-one has ever mentioned him to me. I think people are just afraid to remind you, and they don’t know what to say.
Thanks you for speaking out, and my prayers reach out to you.
It looks like Ansley was a precious little girl. This breaks my heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Your beautiful Ansley will live forever in your heart. I’m sure Ansley had a lot of spirit and personality, her sweetness shines in her smile. She is definitely an angel, your angel. I understand how much you miss her. I lost my son, Jeremy 6 years ago. Jeremy’s birthday is July 14th. I noticed on Ansley’s headstone that her birthday is April 19th, which is my younger sons birthday.
A mothers fear is that her child will be forgotten. There is no proper way for a mother to grieve after losing a child. It’s an unthinkable pain, But, people still judge you. The cards and phones calls diminish.
I am so sorry for your pain. I will forever remember your sweet Ansley on July 14th. Jessica, I will pray for you to find peace where you can.
Sweet beautiful baby girl will never be forgotten…thank you for sharing her with the world! Will be sure to show her legacy as well as my own girls in Heaven with all I know (((hugs))) … This road is much more bearable with families who reach out ❤️
Jessica, You and your daughter touched my heart. Thank you. I felt Ansley’s impact on the world through your words. And that can’t, and won’t, be forgotten. Happy belated Angel Day. Love to all who mourn and remembering all angel babies, including mine.
I just saw this site and wanted to let you know that I am so sorry for your loss. Ansley was a beautiful girl who is obviously loved deeply. My first daughter, Ada, was stillborn at 24 weeks and July 14, 2008 was the day we found out via ultrasound that there was no heartbeat. (She was born 2 days later.) Now I will remember Ansley on that date too.
Happy belated angel day. I have said her name… Ansley. <3
I am thinking of you and your little girl. So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful little face. My daughter, Sophie would be 6 years old. We lost her when I was 23 weeks pregnant. I think of her everyday. Your daughter is not forgotten.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter seven years ago, Jessica. What a lucky little girl to have had you for her mommy for those seven years. I can’t imagine and hope I never have to go through what you have been
through in these seven years, but your speaking out to this group of 400 women got a message out to people and hopefully, they will, in turn, tell many others of you being so brave to speak out for your beautiful daughter. May the memories you have help to ease the pain you bear and may God continue to bless you and your family.
Jessica,
Our hearts ache for you. We do know the loss of a child, even though ours was an adult male, serving his country in Afghanistan 9 years ago. We think often of our departed son-in-law and freely speak his name, remembering how he loved reciting lines from funny movies, how he dearly loved our daughter, and his great love for my wife’s cookies (how one Christmas he would be constantly running downstairs to the basement for more of Mom’s cookies!!!!). But most of all, I think of how our world has been deprived of his amazing mind and potential contributions he would have made for our world. Yes, we too grieve, like you even though there are vast differences between our two losses. You are remembered today and prayed for. May Ansley’s memories be a continual blessing to you.
Wow. Hugs to you because as a mom who has lost my daughter 10 months ago I hurt every day. I am sharing this with friends. May God continue to carry us moms who have had a piece of our hearts carried away to heaven. Your baby girl is beautiful!!!
Thank you!!!
Charity
I am sorry to hear about your daughter. I am sure that she is a very special girl and daughter. you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Ansley’s Mommy, happy belated Angel’s day! Your beautiful daughter will forever be with you and watching over your entire family. I will hug my kids a little tighter today in honor and as a gift to your daughter.
Jessica, I was so moved by this post. This is the best advice for anyone witnessing a friend go through a loss, whether it is a child, mother, friend. Losing a child is my worst nightmare and I am so so sad that you have had to go through this. Please know I am praying for you and your family.
Your daughter’s gravestone is very beautiful and caught my eye as my last name is McTigue as well (my husband is a McTigue). Who knows, perhaps our families are related in a distant way. Just know and take comfort in all of those thinking of you and your sweet baby girl.
Thank you for your comment. I too think that her “spot” as we say is beautiful. McTigue is such an uncommon last name. Where are you guys located?
We are in Downers Grove, Il, but my husbands family is from county Claire. They are the McTigue’s that survived a boat that sank on their way from Ireland. My husbands father is one of 8 men. I don’t know if that helps. We are related to the McTigue’s that own the McTigue Agency (part of Northwestern Mutual). Any of this sound familiar?
Jessica, i understand how you feel because I lost my little one four years ago when he was four years old. I will remember Ansley on her Angel Day as well as January 12th which is Lucas’ Angel Day.
My love and prayers are with Ansley and her loving family.
Jessica, I think I know why people don’t know what to say…because NOTHING they say can fix your pain. Please know that I am praying for you and your family today. Ansley was beautiful, and I hope that your heart finds some comforting moments in the love that is coming your way.
Jill Kincaid / Virginia
Sweet Jessica, my heart hurts for you and your family. I wish had the words to take away the pain. I have not lost a child, but a sister and a friends daughter. So I can not and would not say to you, “I know how feel”. I pray I never have to give any of my children back. Know that you and yours are being thought of and prayed for. May God bless you and keep you in his fold until you are ready to fly again.
Someone reached out to me in Ansley’s memory… because my ten year old daughter, Alyssa, died of cancer 18 months ago. I remember. I grieve. I get it. Thank you for sharing. I want to always be called “Alyssa’s Mommy” but so few ever do anymore…There is a fabulous book just published – site A Bed For Your Head – by a bereaved Momma, Angela Miller. It is called “You are the Mother of All Mothers” based on an essay she wrote to herself what she most needed to hear. I love it. If Jessica is still reading this – or if Glennon does – it is worth looking up. Pubslush helped her get published (as did I) and Alyssa’s beautiful name is mentioned on the back page of names of the children whose parents supported the book.
Lyn, I am indeed still reading. This is my happy place. Thank you for sharing and for sharing your beautiful daughter Alyssa.
Jessica,
Today I am thinking of you’re little girl Ansley, she is such an adorable girl! Praying for peace and comfort for your family and she will never be forgotten. <3
Thank you Jessica. I have thought that to myself everyday since my own daughter was born and passed. Thank you for being brave enough to say what I haven’t said yet.
I know I am late but I am certainly thinking of little miss Ansley and the gift she brought you while she was here. Happy Angel day sweet baby girl. I hope you had a wonderful one with the other angel babies!
Happy Angel Day, I really loved this article and it really touched me. My Husband and I lost our first born son on August 8th, 2013, I was 16 weeks pregnant and gave birth to the most precious baby boy. His 1 year Anniversary is coming up real soon and I just wanted to tell you that I feel your pain, and just know that I am thinking of you and your family. May God give you peace and strength now and always. <3
My daughters two year angel day will be on the 9th of august.
Thinking of you Juanita and your Angel.
Happy Angel Day. My heart reaches out to you also believing that there is beauty and understanding beyond experience, beyond words and beyond this world. How blessed I feel to have my angel daughter today. Thank you for the precious reminder. God bless ypu Ainsley and God bless your mother who loves you.
Happy belated angel day!
Happy Angel Day. My heart and prayers are with you and your family today.