Last month, I was in a room with four hundred women, and we were laughing and crying and just BEING together. Halfway through our time together, a woman stood up and said, “Glennon, what would you say to help people understand the importance of being there for a friend who has lost a child? We lost our daughter, Ansley, seven years ago and most of our friends and family have just fallen away. Now on her birthday and Angel Day- I might receive a card or two. It’s just not enough. Our baby is gone and we need the people who knew her to talk to us about her, but they don’t. Everyone we loved is just silent about it. It makes me feel like Ansley is forgotten. It feels like the world is pretending she never existed.”
I just looked at her for a long moment. The room was completely silent. It was clear to everyone that this woman had single-handedly escorted the four hundred of us into the most important moment of the evening.
I finally said, “What is your name?”
She said, “Jessica.”
I said, “Jessica- you tell us. What would YOU tell people to do?”
And she said, “SHOW UP. Show up right away and then keep showing up. Don’t worry about saying the right thing, there is no right thing. Just say SOMETHING. Just tell us you haven’t forgotten. And say their name. It’s like people are afraid to remind me of her- as if I’m not already thinking about her every moment of every day. Everyone avoids her name- but we still need to hear their names spoken by people who loved them.”
I thanked Ansley’s mama for saying what we all needed to hear. For telling us that when it comes to tragedy- what a friend does is pull together all her brave and run towards the heartbreak and mightily resist the urge to try to fix it and instead just sit in it and soak up a little bit of the love and pain.
And then she says her name. Often. Because your friend is still Ansley’s mama, as certainly and surely and eternally and solidly as you are the mama of your babies. That’s who she STILL IS. Somehow now more than ever. She doesn’t know herself any other way and she doesn’t want to. And so when you don’t acknowledge that part of her, it’s like you’re not even there with her. She needs you to be there with her. With Ansley’s grieving mama.
I said, “Jessica. I don’t know what to say. But listen, I’ll tell you one thing. Ansley’s Angel Day is not going to pass silently this year. I know some people who would love nothing more than to stop and remember Ansley with you. They are the Monkees. You tell me Ansley’s date and then you visit us on her day. “
And Jessica cried and we all cried together – all four hundred of us – for the loss of a baby girl and the pain of a mother and the soothing balm of women who rush toward each other and sit and cry with each other and just give up on saying too many words at all.
Today is Ansley’s Angel Day- July 14. I imagine that Jessica will wake up this morning and look out her window and wonder how in the world it is that the world can keep spinning on the day that her own world died.
I would like for us to stop the world for a moment today to remember Ansley, to honor Jessica, and to hold space for all of our sisters’ great loss and pain and love. Let us do this in two ways:
- Please leave a comment here for Jessica. She will be reading today. Let us show her we cared enough to STOP today and say Ansley’s name. Let us tell her that she is not the only one who is feeling the width and depth today of the loss of Ansley. Also, in your comment- tell Jessica where you’re from. It makes the love feel more real when you can see that it’s covering the globe.
- Then please, in honor of Ansley and Jessica- call to mind a friend who has suffered a great loss and then reach out to her. If you can’t call her, email her. If you can’t email her, text her. Don’t let your lack of time or the perfect thing to say stop you. Just do it. Stop the world for a moment in honor of her. That’s what we do when we pause in the middle of a busy day to reach out to someone who is hurting. We say “to me, you are worth stopping the world for.”
MS-MD has donated $700 to the Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood Program in honor of Precious Ansley (who would have been a nine year old girl today) and in honor of her Warrior Mama, Jessica, and in honor of all of you who have lost your babies. I am stopping my world today to tell you that I have no perfect words. I am just here, and I am so very, very sorry.
Love,
G and TWMF
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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4,536 Comments
You and Ansley stopped my world today. Hugs and love from Indiana. Cathy
God bless each of you who have suffered such awful losses and may you be reunited with your loved ones in your dreams each night.
I know 2 days late for Ansley’s Angel Day. I shed tears today,for you, and for all the things you will not share with her. Though I am late that is one more day, you and Ansley are remembered. I don’t know from anyone, but…I will remember you. I WILL remember Ansley. She was here, You had her, She has not disappeared, she is transformed, and her memory…is STILL TRANSFORMING.
Jessica, I hope you will continue to feel the love today and every day! Thank you for opening your heart and expressing this need because it’s already going a long way to help others. Love the pictures of beautiful Ansley.
From deep in the heart of Texas.
Prayers for you. Blessings for Ansley. Prayers for your family and friends. Thank you for sharing your pain in a way that may help so many others who share your pain, or who now better understand how to be a supportive friend.
Jessica, your baby girl will be forever remembered through your life and the lives she has touch. I lost my 13 year son almost a year ago and I cannot express how much it means to me to still hear stories from his friends about him and we keep his name in our daily conversation. I cannot imagine how 7 years feels but I know not being able to hug and touch my son even for a year leaves me aching inside. From one grieving momma in Oklahoma
Just wanted you to know that Ansley and your love for her stopped my world today in Federal Way, Washington. Xoxo
I just want you to know I shed some tears hearing your story. I care, and I know God understands your pain, too. It was an honor to see your lovely daughter’s photos. I am thinking of you today.
How many wonderful memories you must have of your precious Ansley! I hope your friends and family will know now to bring up their memories of her too. I pray every day will be a celebration of who she was, and that forevermore, she’ll be a spoken part of your everyday life! I think that people just don’t know what to do. I hope they will know now! <3
Wanted you to know that your love for Ansley stopped my world today. Sending prayers and love to you both from Federal Way, Washington. Xoxo
Jessica, I am sorry I didn’t rad this post until today. Sending hugs to you and your beautiful angel from Spokane, WA
Sending love to you and thinking of Ansley today. What a sweet little girl. Big hugs from Athens, Georgia.
DEAR JESSICA,
YOUR ANSLEY IS BEAUTIFUL. I’M SURE TO YOU SHE IS 9 AND 8 AND 7 AND 6 AND 5 AND 4 AND 3 AND 2 AND 1. YOU MUST HAVE BEAUTIFUL MEMORIES OF EACH AGE AND EACH MOMENT SHE WAS WITH YOU. I WISH MORE OF US COULD HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW HER. PRAYERS FROM WINSTON SALEM.
Sending love & care to you, dear Jessica and family. My heart was moved by your eloquence and the photos of your beautiful little Ansley. You speak for many. May you feel wrapped in God’s loving arms..
Love from a Mom and Nana in Nova Scotia
SENDING PRAYERS OF LOVE AND COMFORT IN REMEMBERANCE OF YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE GIRL, ANSELY. I WISH SHE WAS HERE WITH YOU, BUT I KNOW SHE WATCHES OVER HER FAMILY WITH LOVE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE STAND WITH YOU.
Your Ansley is so beautiful. And what a wonderful name, too. My rainbow baby is just a bit younger than your adorable angel was when she died – and to think of losing a vivacious toddler is just about the most heartbreaking thing I can imagine. I’m late for your Angel Day, but my heart and thoughts are with you today and always. Mamas are a family, and babylost mamas even more so.
Your precious Ansley will never be forgotten because she will always live in your heart and the hearts of others. Peace to you for your loss.
Jessica,
My thoughts and prayers are with you,and all that knew and loved Ansley. I have just found you, this blog, Glennon and this new sisterhood that I am a now a new and proud member of. I too have an angel Jason who was lost before we even got a chance to hold him at 6 months inside my belly. No one ever says his name because they didn’t know him. But I did. I felt him kick inside of me. I loved him every day I was lucky enough to be his mother. You are oh so lucky that you were able to hold beautiful Ansley and you will always have the gift of her smile in your eyes and heart. She was a lucky little girl too. Sending hugs your way.
Jessica, your sweet baby girl is in my thoughts and prayers today. Happy birthday Ansley!! Birthdays In Heaven must be amazing…
Jessica,
I both grieve and rejoice with you. I grieve for your loss but I also rejoice for you being Ashley`s mom. You are always a mom. Motherhood is a gift we never lose. I pray God bless and strengthen you with the beautiful memories and love you have for Ashley.
God bless,
Kelly (Moreno Valley, CA)
Jessica,
I want to tell you that I grieve and rejoice with you. I grieve for your loss but rejoice at your gift of being `s mom. Motherhood never ends even at a child’s passing. God bless you and bless you and know Ashley is never forgotten.
God bless,
Kelly (Moreno Valley, CA)
Hi Jessica,
Your Baby Ansley will not be forgotten! Thank you for speaking out and letting Mie know what I can do in situations like this.
Greetings from Riemst, Belgium
For Ansley, and for her mother, Jessica!
She is a beautiful angel. Reading this story made a difference for me as I know that I am not alone in my feelings, and that it is ok to not want to let go and to keep talking about my babies!
From Carla in Indiana…Charlie, E.J. and Tommy’s mommy
I kind of understand because my son was taken off to prison unexpectedly and I felt like my world changed forever on that date. It has made me more understanding of those who have lost a child. I will always remember to speak the names of my friend’s children who are now gone…Adam, Randa, Ben…and I hope everyone will remember my Shane and let me still talk about the good times we had together and how someday soon he will be home. That is my solace…he will be home. That is why my loss will never be like yours Jessica, Amy, Tanya, George…but I will always be here for you.
Sweet Jessica, I will never forget listening to your story. Tears started to fill my eyes as you spoke. Our family will be remembering Ansley every year and you and all the ache and finding ways to keep going when you just wish she were still in your arms.
You have my heart. And all the other mommies and daddies who have lost their sweet little ones. My heart aches. Know that I’m standing in this with you. We won’t forget these little ones. Ever.
Jessica, I hope you are still reading the comments & know how many people are weeping and smiling for you and Aynsley right now. What a horribly sad day… I so wish I could give you a big ol’ hug.
Jessica-
I haven’t even made it a year to my bugs angel day. My loss is still very fresh. I love your courage to stand up and make a statement about how you feel. I’ve already experiencing the separation of friends and family from my angel. Dance in heaven sweet Ansley dance with all the angel babies up there. Love from north Dakota Angel
Ansley is remembered. Thank you for sharing what we who have lost children need- For them to be remembered..
Deborah. North Carolina
Recently I was part of a group of people through a friend who blogs and has mentioned her amazing Mid-wife who had recently gone through the loss of her child. For mother’s day her sister asked that everyone take Mabel with them #MabelWasHere. There were tons of photos with Mabels name on paper just lounging with people around the world, mabel flying a kite, Mabel gardening, Mabel was and will forever be part of my parents construction. When this was all happening my kids found a knot in one of the 2x4s and it was shaped like a heart, we wrote mabel’s name with it, took a photo and sent it. The tumblr account was given to mabel’s mother on Mother’s day. She said the one thing that she always wants is for people to talk about her, to not be afraid to celebrate her life, that she loves to hear her name and she never wants to stop hearing it.
I think this is a great idea for everyone with an angel baby, some days may be easier that others but we should never be afraid to say our Angel baby’s name.
Ansley – Feliz Cumpleano from my two girls, my angel baby and Me, we love you and your momma is surrounded by a world of people who love her and are right here for her.
jessica, i only just read this today. the world misses your sweet ansley right along with you. i am thinking of you today!
Jessica,
I have prayed for you that God will put His great arms around you and comfort you. While I myself have not lost a child, I know what it’s like to be thrown into a terrifying situation concerning your child. I gave birth to my daughter at only 27 weeks gestational. She weighed 1lb 10 oz. I remember seeing her in the incubator thinking “this isn’t my child. this isn’t what was “supposed” to happen.” But it was. God knew this would happen and He knew how He would turn it into something beautiful. It took me many months to realize this, but it’s true. I know God will reveal to you the good that came from your tragedy in His own time.
Keep your head up and never forget that you are never alone. Angels are taken from us but good-byes are not forever. I pray God gives you strength to keep going through life with a smile and knowing your baby girl is watching with a smile. You are so strong. Happy belated to your baby in heaven. RIP
Warm wishes from Woodbridge, VA.
Ansley is remembered today. Saying a prayer for peace today. I lost my soon February 2013. On his angel day I heard nothing. Ansley is remembered. Thank you for sharing your story.
Our Kailie died 13 years and the fact that no one speaks her name is still the hardest thing. Celebrate your sweet little Ansley today and the impact she has had! Dance with the angels, baby girl!
Jessica,
Thank you for having the courage to stand up and help all of us know how to grieve with you and with so many others who have experienced the unimaginable loss of a child. What a gift you have given to those who grieve and those who need to know how to support you. My heart hurts so deeply for you as you are missing your precious Ansley. And for all the moms who have posted their losses here also. Thank you for letting us be with you in your pain.
Allison in Austin,TX
Jessica,
I hope that on this angel day, you surround yourself in Ansley ‘ s laughter and smiles. I hope you send her notes in balloons and visit her memorial. Most of all I hope you have someone who calls you up and lets you know how much they miss her, too.
My 6 month old nephew passed away the day after Easter, 2011. The grief and the loss still sneak up, catching me unawares, and I’m not even his mama.
My kids talk about him often. We miss him. We have standing get togethers on his birthday and his angelversary. He visits us sometimes in dreams that make us wake up laughing and crying.
Gavin is still ours. Ansley is still yours. Just because we can’t touch them with our hands, doesn’t mean our souls and theirs are disconnected.
May God hold you and your gorgeous Ansley in His hands today and always. I hope you are feeling lots of love from your friends and family.
Jessica – I apologize for being late. I am thinking of your beautiful Ansley today and hope she is holding the hand of my angel Jacob.
Wendy – Atlanta, GA
Thank you for sharing your story and the helpful suggestion of showing up. Ansley is not forgotten.
Jess. So sorry for UR loss. Ansley’s pics r beautiful. Thanks for sharing. We’re Warrior Moms together. I lost my grown son who took his life. Suicide is a tragedy for the survivors. My grief has brought me closer to my Lord. I hope u can accept God’s grace of peace soon. I, too, miss him more with each day that passes as u must miss UR Ansley. Hugs from Cambridge Maryland
YOU are a brave warrior mama, but today, let us be brave and hold you up as well all remember ANSLEY with you! Gone, but never forgotten.
Leighann
Traverse City, MI
I can’t imagine the pain. Keep strong. Ansley is with you everyday.
Jessica,
I’m sorry that I’m reading this post late, but I still wanted to respond. Today I am praying for you and all of those people in your life who are missing your precious Ansley, because even though this is just an “ordinary day,” it’s still a day that you are thinking of your sweet baby. I pray that you would find at least a little pocket of peace and joy today.
Sending you these thoughts from Jackson, MS.
I’m so sorry about your precious baby girl. She is beautiful. I’m so sorry she’s not with you. Life is so unfair. I’m walking the same road and no one ever says my child’s name either.
Jessica – I am reading this 2 days late, but please know I am praying for your family today and I will show my children Ansley’s picture and tell them about your precious child and how much she is loved.
Dear Jessica,
Thank you for being brave, Ansley is most certainly proud ~~ xo (Kansas City, MO)
Dear Jessica, Happy Heavenly Birthday to your sweet Angel Ansley! I also want to say a special thank you to you for speaking out on this topic! It hits very close to home because next Thursday will be My Angel, Sophia’s, 3rd Heavenly Birthday. People in my life never talk about my sweet Sophia because they think it will remind me of pain. But what they don’t realize is that by not mentioning/remembering her is more painful. By not talking about her it makes me feel like they don’t think she was real! She was real! She was my daughter! My rainbow babies don’t replace her! I ache for her every day and will continue to ache for her until I am reunited with her in heaven some day! Huge hugs to you for speaking out and reminding people to be there! SO much love being sent your way today and everyday! <3
Sweet Angels in heaven, why did they have to go so soon.Why didn’t we get to say good bye? So many questions without answers. I am comforted knowing she isn’t alone in heaven & has other children to play with. My niece Evelynn lived the fullest of her six years with a broken heart that could not be fixed. When she went to heaven, her heart was full of our love. Her brothers, her dad, and her mom, my sister and our family. Life after has left us all with a void that cannot be filled. We all carry the pain. We lost her, and each other. God Speed
Jessica, I am a couple days late, but wanted you to know I am thinking of you and Ansley! Life moves on like a freight train barreling down the track…sometimes it feels like you suddenly are on the outside and you can see it moving away from you! You know you should be on it…but it is already so far past you. I cannot imagine how many years you have had these moments. My Isaiah has been gone just over a year, he was 3 1/2 months old. May God bless you and keep you! May He make His face to shine on you and be gracious to you! May He look upon you with HIS favor and grant you His PEACE.
Jessica, my son died the day he was born and I too have friends and family who don’t speak his name. I assume they think they will upset me but of course I think about him everyday. I will remember your beautiful Ansley. Love from Greensboro, NC.
Your little girl will never be forgotten. Not on her angel day or any other day. Thinking of you and your angel in Livonia, MI.
She was a beautiful little girl. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine. My birthday is actually July 14. Now I will think of her too. Blessed little angel. May God wrap you in His arms and give you comfort.
Jessica, thank you for speaking up. It is so hard to know what to say or do for a friend who lost their child. All too often my cowardice and uncertainty cause me to say nothing and flee. You’re right, the worst thing you could do is pretend to have forgotten, when the mother of
that child would never, could never forget. Thank you for remembering Ansley. Thank you for being her mummy for the short time she was on this earth. And thank you for reminding other mums who lost their children, that they have a right-and a duty-to remember, to grieve, and to appreciate the time they had with their baby.
Jessica,
Thank you for saying what so many of us wish we could. Thank you for speaking up for those of us who have also bore the unimaginable and lost a child. It is a lonely world, to say the least. I hope all of these comments today only encourage you that your daughter is not forgotten and we are all here with you.
What a beautiful little girl your perfect Ansley. Her gorgeous deep brown eyes pierce my soul. I can’t imagine your grief and your loss. My heart and prayers will always be with you. Ansley will not be forgotten. A five minute hug awaits you in Orange County, Ca.
Missing Ansley and my own angel, Harrison. Nothing will make it better, but know that you are not alone.
Jessica,
Happy Birthday to you beautiful baby girl Ansley, I am so sorry for your loss. So glad you have great friends who will not forget Ansley. That is a georgeous name. I also have a angel I lost during pregnancy. 17 1/2 weeks pregnant. My angels. Name is Rebekah Grace. She was my everything.
May God Bless you, Tricia Childers
Jessica,
I lost my daughter, Sophia, one year ago on July 12, 2013. Thank you for sharing your beautiful daugher, Ansley with me this week. Thank you for sharing your grief. I will think of our daughters and be a mama of a lost child with you. You are not alone even though it feels that way most of the time. We are the mamas of our little girls every day, loving them with all of our being.
Lauren
I am thinking of you and of Ansley all the way over in Singapore. Xx
I wish I could hug you today, Jessica, but I hope this will do. Ansley’s spirit lives on inside of you, and just from the pictures I can see what a beautiful spirit it is. You are not alone, Jessica, take comfort in that. Love from New Jersey.
You are not alone and Ansley is remembered.
Jessica,
A friend reposted this story and I recently had two of my best friends lose their son Cade to a rare disease just 48 hours after being born. I have always struggled with the best way to approach letting them know how much I care for them but finally gave way to my heart and have contacted them often and prayed as well. Your story will help me to forever approach talking about Cade with them and feeling confident that me trying to be there for them will be a good thing.
Jessica, I am so sorry for your loss! I have a friend who lost a child and I didnt know what to do for her. Every time I think of her son passing I would cry so I didn’t even try to talk to her about him. I didn’t want to cause her any more pain in such a painful situation. Thank you for making me see!
Erin
Ansley was and is loved. Speak her name and tell stories of her life.
Jessica,
I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful Ansley. I do not know the loss of a child or have children but I understand that this is one of life’s harshest empathetic experience and therefore the hardest one to deal with. Coming up on the end of July, I will have lost my mother two years ago. It is has been a rough journey and I feel as if a part of me is missing. I hope that support that you need and want has been given to you. Someone once said that, “There’s only one thing worse than speaking ill of the dead-and that is not speaking of the dead at all.” I try to speak of my mom often, but I can tell that others around me get uncomfortable when I speak of her outside of my family.
“When your parent dies you have lost your past. When your child dies you have lost your future.” I was read this quote from Dr. Elliot Luby the other day and it really resonated with me because I never really thought of it that way with my mom. I thought I had lost my past and my future.
Thank you for your story, this was sent to me through a work email and I am quite happy that I opened it and read it. You are so brave and strong.
Samantha (Houston, TX)
Jessica, I have been there where you are. I lost my precious little girl 41 years ago. She is on my mind often wondering what she would be like today if she had lived and was healthy. She was born with a birth defect that she could live with. People still tell me that they don’t think I’m “over” it because they hear sadness in my voice when I do talk about her which is not often. Yes, I’m sad because I never got to know my little one and didn’t get to enjoy even one day with her. She’ll always be a part of me. (I don’t sit around crying about her all the time) I have had two healthy children after her birth and I’m enjoying them very much. They have left the nest and are on their own but they make me proud of them. On a funny note: We had decided we were only going to have two children but counting our angel we had three but raised two. One time my daughter who is the youngest got mad at her brother and said I wished my sister would have lived. Then she got quiet and said, But then there wouldn’t be me! Yes, I miss our angel but I wouldn’t have our family any other way. My world would not be the same without my youngest daughter. I believe one day I will see my first daughter but for now I’m enjoying what I have. Take courage, many people don’t talk about her or stop coming around because they don’t know what to say and are afraid of hurting you. Let them know it is ok to talk about her, that you love hearing about the memories they have of your daughter. I enjoyed reading Elizabeth’s poem. I touched me. I wished it had been around when we lost our little one.
Never forgotton xx
Jessica, I am thinking of you and Ansley today and will light a candle for her.
Fear: Fear is the reason why many people have avoided speaking about your beautiful daughter to you. Fear they will make the pain worse, fear of not knowing what to say or saying the wrong thing, fear of feeling uncomfortable. Love squashes fear. Thank you for opening the “love gate” and laying out the “welcome” mat so that we now know it is okay to come in and tell you we are all thinking of you. <3
Ansley is a beautiful girl! So glad to see her photos and so sorry for your loss. I will hold you and Ansley in my heart. (Colorado)
Stopping my world to think of your precious Ansley today, Jessica. From Sacramento, CA
Dearest Jessica,
Ansley was here, she is loved, and will not be forgotten….. She lives in you, you have made a difference to may of us… you honoured her memory and helped to heal others…..
Dear Jessica,
Thinking of you and your precious daughter Ansley. In those quiet moments know that she and thousands of warrior mommas are with you. Much love and strength. –Renee
Big hugs to you today and tomorrow and yesterday and most especially the day before yesterday – Angel Day, Mama Jessica – forever beautiful Ansley’s daughter.
I needed to hear this – my sweet mother-in-law lost two grown boys – 27 months apart from each other. I always struggle to ask how she’s doing on their Angel Days – thank you for the reminder that it is so importnant to do so.
My best wishes to you – and your beautiful angel, Ansley!
I know I’m late to your party, but I have to say your daughter is beautiful! You may have lost the opportunity to physically touch Ansley, but she touches you daily. Many blessings to you!
Dear Sweet Jessica,
Thank you for being you. For telling people you don’t want to forget you want to remember your sweet girl with love. Ansley is a beautiful child Jessica. Praise God for the beautiful moments you and Ansley had together, and for this time now to be a voice for women who are in your situation and feel completely alone. May God bless you and your family.
xo Sarah
Jessica,
first of of all i cant imagine what you have gone through and what your going through now and all of this time that your little one has been in heaven. Anesly is around you and in your heart. She is with you everyday. When my dad died before my grandma i could see the pain in her eyes and i was like why do moms have to bury their babies. I have lost babies but in utero. i will not know what it feels like to hold them but the kids i do have it makes me hold them a little bit tighter…prayer of comfort to you.
What a beautiful little girl. I’m so sorry for your pain. You will always be Ansley’s mama!
Renee from Sioux Falls, SD
Remembering your sweet girl and sending thoughts of love and comfort to you and your family. Love from Boulder, CO. Xx
Thinking of you and your beautiful Ansley.
Thinking of you and your sweet angel today.
Jessica
I grieve with you I lost my son Boaz 15 years ago. I know the silence and how Noone seems to remember . Ansley is still part of your life .I’m praying for you today and other days as well. I know that it’s not just angel day that hurts. It’s Christmas and Easter and thanksgiving and tuesaday and Thursday and every other day of the week. Your story broke the silence for one of my best friends who emailed me today to tell me she had never understood what I needed and that it was OK to talk about boaz and to keep him alive. I’ve been told to move on and let him go.. I have “moved on” in the sense that I’m still here and I have let him go in the sense that he isn’t here but our love for our angels never fades never stops or lessens . Keep being strong . You are stronger than you think . Love and prayers from my heart to yours in saskatoon Saskatchewan
I missed Ansley’s day but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you and sending you a great big hug! You are so loved!
Hi Jessica…I followed a mothers story while helping her little boy fight pancreatic cancer..needless to say she lost her little warrior…I can’t even imagine losing a child…I have one he’s 24 and God help me I don’t know how I could ever go on….God bless all of you mothers who have lost a child…my heart aches for all of you…be strong..easier said than done..I know…God bless
Jeanne-Marie
from NY
Today, July 16, is my son, Joey’s birthday. He would be 22. No one remembers… or talks about it, unless I initiate. I know where you are. It is not that I am not happy in life, but I am sad too. I miss him. That is all. There are holes in the fabric of this world, caused by the loss of our precious children. Those holes cannot be filled.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your precious son, Joey. Wishing you peace and love.
My heart hurts for you, Jessica, in the pain of missing your precious Ansley. May you know some peace today in the memories you have of her. I am in Lavonia, Georgia.
Jessica – I know this is a couple of days late. I
am so sorry for the loss of your precious child.
Consider yourself hugged today!
Jessica,
Happy Belated Birthday to your sweet Ansley! I’m sorry that you are spending this day without her. Its a tragedy that others are forever fearful of speaking our little ones names, but your story here is hopefully going to help break that silence. I had a friend who I went to school with send this to me, it was such a lovely story and speaks to how I feel daily. She took the time to stop and say my daughter Keegan’s name, and that means the world to me. So thank you and thank you to my friend Carmen.
Thinking of you and Ansley. I don’t have words to express how sorry I am. Know that she lives on in the hearts and minds of the many strangers who read this posting. (Buffalo, NY)
My heart is with you. Ansley is lucky to have a mother who treasures her so deeply.
Jessica,
It’s a shitty club to belong to. People don’t know what to do when they are thrust into having to acknowledge this crappy club even exists. I have friends who lost truly amazing children from cancer as we were battling it with our own son. I then went on to adopt a sweet child who subsequently succumbed to her previous injuries from abuse and we were completely unprepared. As close as I had been to that shitty club, I didn’t (couldn’t) wrap my head and heart around the pain that comes with it. Now I do. I LOVE saying my friend’s children’s names, and I love hearing my daughter’s name. My 11 year old literally says her sister’s name 20+ times a day, every day in song, conversation, and writing. I understand both sides of this dilemma and though I don’t condone the behavior of those we called “friends”, I do understand how hard it is to “cozy” up to someone who is now part of a club they can’t imagine, fathom, understand or even want to acknowledge exists. There are many of us out there however, who do and will say your sweet Ansley’s name every day now as well as yours, Jessica. I send cyber hugs and love and know, you are NOT alone even when it feels like you are.
Dear Jessica, I’m so sorry you lost your beautiful daughter Ansley. I know how precious she is to you, and she has become precious to me now. Thank you for teaching us such a simple lesson about empathy, compassion, and love. Ansley was first an angel in your arms. I like the phrase Angel Day. Ansley will never be forgotten.
With much love,
Kelli
Sweet Jessica, my heart breaks for you. What courage you have to speak out about your pain and heartache and the amazing love of a mother which is not bound by the physical properties of time and space. Your precious Ansley must be so proud of her mama!! You have opened the hearts of so many!! From another grieving mom (my Sara died 10 years ago), I thank you. May your heart be comforted! Kennewick, WA
Jessica, sending love your way. You and Ansley are loved.
She will always be in your heart…her picture will never vanish from your soul. Bless you.
Dear Jessica…I have just said a prayer for your darling angel Ansley. You are a brave and loving mother and your strength will carry so many others through their grief when they need someone. Love is all that matters, and the love you feel for your daughter, and the love she has for you will help to keep you afloat in your darkest days and hours.
Reading this reminds me of my friend Vanessa and the pain she carries after the loss of her son Sean to suicide 7 years ago. She often says the same things about people avoiding his birthday, death day and name out of fear that they will cause her undo grief. I let her know constantly that she and Sean are always in my thoughts and prayers…and now, although we have never met, you and Ansley as well.
Susie from Hilton Head
Remembering Ansley today, along with my angel son (July 7, 1990).
Jessica,
I’ve arrived a couple of days late. I’m sorry for the loss of Ansley. Every day you’re without her here on earth is an Angel Day, because you carry that sweet angel with you at all times. Time doesn’t heal all wounds, and my prayers go out to you as your wound is one that will forever run deep.
Love, blessings, and a quick pit stop to just say Ansley’s name, from here in New Mexico.
-Amanda
Jessica,
You and your sweet Ansley are on my mind… thinking of you and sending sweet love and hugs from Atlanta, Georgia. Your precious girl will never be forgotten.
Jessica,
I am thinking of you of today. Your daughter, Ansley, is absolutely beautiful with those gorgeous doe eyes of hers. I know she is with you today and every day, showering you with love and strength that only a baby can give her momma.
Jessica, I missed Ansley’s day but I read your story and my heart filled with compassion for you. Ansley will never be forgotton. (Bainbridge Island, WA)
Jessica,
Happy belated Birthday to your beautiful daughter, Ansley. I am so sorry that your are without your precious child. I share in your grief as a grieving mother. I recently lost my son, Luke, and daughter, Olivia, after complications from their premature entrance into this world. -Elizabeth
We Are Angel Mommys
We have shared our tears and our sorrow,
We have given encouragement to each other,
Given hope for a brighter tomorrow,
We share the title of grieving mother.
Some of us lost older daughters or sons,
Who we watched grow over the years,
Some have lost their babies before their lives begun.
But no matter the age, we cry the same tears,
We understand each others pain,
The bond we share is very strong.
With each other there is no need to explain
The path we walk is hard and long.
Our children brought us together.
They didn’t want us on this journey alone.
They knew we needed each other
To survive the pain of them being gone.
So take my hand my friend,
We may stumble and fall along the way
But we’ll get up and try again
Because together we can make it day by day.
We can give each other hope.
We’ll create a place where we belong.
Together we will find ways to cope,
Because we are Angel Moms and together we are strong.