Along with every other concerned parent, I watch America’s responses to bullying-related suicides closely. People always seem quite shocked by the cruelty that’s happening in America’s schools. I’m baffled by their shock, and I’m concerned about what’s not being addressed in their proposed solutions.
The acceptable response seems to be that we should better educate students and teachers about what bullying is and how to react to it appropriately. This plan is positive, certainly. But on its own, it seems a little like bailing frantically without first looking for the hole in the boat.
Each time these stories are reported, the sound bite is: “kids can be so cruel.” This is something we tend to say: kids these days, they can be so cruel. But I think this is just a phrase we toss around to excuse ourselves from facing the truth. I don’t think kids are any crueler than adults. I just think kids are less adept at disguising their cruelty.
I heard a radio report that students who are most likely to be bullied are gay kids, overweight kids, and Muslim kids.
Hmmmmm.
I bet that at this point in American history, gay adults, overweight adults, and Muslim adults feel the most bullied as well.
Children are not cruel. Children are mirrors. They want to be “grownup,” so they act how grown-ups act when we think they’re not looking. They do not act how we tell them to act at school assemblies. They act how we really act. They believe what we believe. They say what we say. And we have taught them that gay people are not okay. That overweight people are not okay. That Muslim people are not okay. That they are not equal. That they are to be feared. And people hurt the things they fear. We know that. What they are doing in the schools, what we are doing in the media—it’s all the same. The only difference is that children bully in the hallways and the cafeterias while we bully from behind pulpits and legislative benches and sitcom one-liners.
People are sensitive. People are heartbreakingly sensitive. If enough people tell someone over and over that he is not okay, he will believe it. And one way or another, he will die.
So how is any of this surprising? It’s quite predictable, actually. It’s trickle-down cruelty.
I don’t know much. But I know that each time I see something heartbreaking on the news, each time I encounter a problem outside, the answer to the problem is inside. The problem is always me and the solution is always me. If I want my world to be less vicious, then I must become more gentle. If I want my children to embrace other children for who they are, to treat other children with the dignity and respect every child of God deserves, then I had better treat other adults the same way. And I better make sure that my children know beyond a shadow of a doubt that in God’s and their father’s and my eyes, they are okay. They are loved as they are. Without a single unless. Because the kids who bully are those who are afraid that a secret part of themselves is not okay. To that end, I wrote this letter to my son:
Dear Chase,
Whoever you are, whoever you become, you are loved. You are a miracle. You are our dream come true. 
Chase, here is what would happen in our home if one day you were to tell your father and me that you are gay.
Our eyes would open wide.
Then we would grab you and hold you tighter than you would be able to bear. And while we were holding you, we would say a silent prayer that as little time as possible passed between the moment you knew you were gay and the moment you told us. And we would love you and ask you one million questions, and then we would love you some more and finally, I would rush out to buy some rainbow T-shirts, honey, because you know Mama likes to have an appropriate outfit for every occasion.
And I don’t mean, Chase, that we would be tolerant of you and your sexuality. If our goal is to be tolerant of people who are different than we are, Chase, then we really are aiming quite low. Traffic jams are to be tolerated. People are to be celebrated. Every person is Divine. And so there would be celebrating. Celebrating that you had stepped closer to matching your outsides with your insides—to being who you are. And there would be a teeny part of my heart that would leap at the realization that I would forever be the most important woman in your life. Then we would tell everyone. We would not concern ourselves too much with their reactions. There will always be party poopers, baby.
Honey, we’ve worried that since we are Christians, and since we love the Bible so much, there might come a day when you feel unclear about our feelings about this, since there are parts in the Bible that appear to discuss homosexuality as a sin. Let us be clear about how we feel, because we have spent years of research and prayer and discussion deciding.
Chase, we don’t believe that homosexuality is a sin. The Bible was inspired by God, but it was written, translated, and interpreted by imperfect people just like us. This means that the passing of this sacred scripture from generation to generation and from culture to culture has been a bit like the “telephone game” you play at school. After thousands of years, it’s impossible to judge the original spirit of some scripture. We believe that when in doubt, mercy triumphs judgment. So your parents are Christians who study and pray and then carefully choose what we follow in the Bible, based on whether or not it matches our understanding of Jesus’s overall message. Certainly we make mistakes. Everyone does. But it’s our duty to try. We must each work out our own faith with fear and trembling. It’s the most important thing we’ll ever do. Even so, some folks will tell you that our approach to Christianity is scandalous and blasphemous. But honey, the only thing that’s scandalous about this approach is admitting it out loud. The truth is that every Christian is a Christian who chooses what he follows in the Bible.
Recently there was some talk in my Bible study about homosexuality being sinful. I quoted Mother Teresa and said, “When we judge people we have no time to love them.” I was immediately reprimanded for my blasphemy by a woman who reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6:9–10. But I was confused because this woman was speaking. In church. And she was also wearing a necklace. And I could see her hair, baby. She had no head covering. All of which are sooooo totally against the New Testament Bible Rules. And so I assumed that she had decided not to follow the parts of the Bible that limited her particular freedoms, but to hold fast to the parts that limit the freedoms of others. I didn’t point this out at the time, because she wasn’t a bad person. People are doing the best they can, mostly. It’s best not to embarrass anyone.
Much of the Bible is confusing, but the most important parts aren’t. Sometimes I wonder if folks keep arguing about the confusing parts so they don’t have to get started doing the simple parts. So a long time ago, your father and I decided that if a certain scripture turns our judgment outward instead of inward, if it requires us to worry about changing others instead of ourselves, if it doesn’t help us become better lovers of God and life and others, if it distracts us from what we are supposed to be doing down here—finding God in everyone, feeding hungry people, comforting the sick and the sad, giving whatever we have to give, and laying down our lives for our friends—then we assume we don’t understand it yet, and we get back to what we do understand. Chase, what we do understand is that we are reborn. And here is what I believe it means to be reborn:
The first time you’re born, you identify the people in the room as your family. The second time you’re born, you identify the whole world as your family. Christianity is not about joining a particular club; it’s about waking up to the fact that we are all in the same club. Every last one of us. So avoid discussions about who’s in and who’s out at all costs. Everybody’s in, baby. That’s what makes it beautiful. And hard. If working out your faith is not beautiful and hard, find a new one to work out. And if spiritual teachers are encouraging you to fear anyone, watch them closely, honey. Raise your eyebrow and then your hand. Because the phrase repeated most often in that Bible they quote is Do Not Be Afraid. So when they tell you that gay people are a threat to marriage, honey, think hard.
I can only speak from my personal experience, but I’ve been married for ten years and barely any gay people have tried to break up my marriage. I say barely any because that Nate Berkus is a little shady. I am defenseless against his cuteness and eye for accessories. He is always convincing me to buy beautiful trinkets with our grocery money, and this drives your sweet father a bit nuts. So you might want to keep your eye on Berkus. But with the exception of him, I’m fairly certain that the only threats to your father’s and my marriage are our pride, insecurity, anger, and wanderlust. Do not be afraid of people who seem different from you, baby. Different always turns out to be an illusion. Look hard.
Chase, God gave you the Bible, and he also gave you your heart and your mind, and I believe he’d like you to use all three. It’s a good system of checks and balances he designed. Prioritizing can still be hard, though. Jesus predicted that. So he gave us this story: A man approached Jesus and said that he was very confused by all of God’s laws and directions and asked Jesus to break it down for him. He asked, “What are the most important laws?” And Jesus said, “Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love others as yourself.” He added that every other scripture hangs on this one. So use that ultimate command as a lens to examine all other scripture. And make damn sure that you are offering others the same rights and respect that you expect for yourself. If you do that, you can’t go wrong.
Chase, you are okay. You are a child of God. As is everyone else. There is nothing that you have done or will do that will make God love you any more or any less. Nothing that you already are or will become is a surprise to God. Tomorrow has already been approved.
And so, baby, your father and I have only one expectation of you. And that is that you celebrate others the way we celebrate you. That you remember, every day, every minute, that there is no one on God’s Green Earth who deserves more or less respect than you do, My Love.
“He has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”—Mica 6:8
Love, Mama
PS. We thought we should mention, honey, that if you’re straight, that’s okay too. I mean, it’d be a little anticlimactic now, honestly. But your father and I will deal.
PPS. As Daddy read this, I watched his gorgeous face intensify. He teared up a little. Then he slammed the letter down on the kitchen table and said emphatically and without a touch of irony, “DAMN STRAIGHT.” Which, when you think about it, is really the funniest thing Daddy could have said.
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549 Comments
I loved your heart-felt response here and I love the way you set the bar high by challenging us to glorify God in our own lives. However, I love to point out the splinters in other peoples eyes, so I have a question for you. Do you think a similar letter, written to an overweight daughter would have been more challenging for you (for us?)? For all of us wounded moms fighting fantasy and reality to be good enough role-models for our daughters…see you at your book signing in Houston:)
This post is absolute perfection. It expresses exactly how I have always felt about this issue, although I haven’t been able to say it as well!!!! Pity on those who can’t open their minds to other point of views *hugs to you*
Here’s the thing.
Straight Christians in marriages created PLENTY of gay kids. Straight Christian people in marriages also divorced and created plenty of kids in broken homes. Straight “Christian” people remarried and created blended families. Some straight people were never really “straight” although they tried really hard to be and they decided to start a blended family with someone of the same sex after their marriage failed bringing along their kids. Some straight Christian people didn’t get married in the first place, and had kids they did not want or couldn’t take care of, abandoned those kids, and both gay and straight people have adopted those kids creating new families. Some straight Christian people can’t even have kids, but still get to marry and become a family.
The point is families are no loner what they use to be, it’s reality and it’s complicated. It’s not because of gay people, either. There needs to be laws in place that protect people who form families no matter what their sexuality is. The kids need rights, the parents needs rights, the couples need rights, in order for the family to function. You can give it another name, but it’s still a marriage, a legal contract regarding the formation families.
Has nothing to do with religion. Churches don’t have to perform gay marriages under this law. So they can follow God’s law as much as they want, they just can’t force it on free people in this society who are not Christians, or who do not agree with certain views on Christianity. For them they will continue to marry Straight people and God’s law will reign supreme. For others they can tend to the legal and very personal matters of their families without people interfering based on their faith.
Awesome reply!!
I came across your website just yesterday through “Enjoying the Small Things” website.
I literally sat at my work desk for 2 hours reading through your website and fell in love!
I think everything you write is so beautiful & poetic…this post especially. It does crack me up when people try to tear apart someone else’s beliefs and then call themselves a good Christian. I can’t quote one bible verse, but I do know that isn’t right!
I love your message and look forward to more inspirational messages!
I’m so glad there’s still parents in the world like you.
What an amazing letter. I love it. Thank you for sharing this. It helped me too as I struggle with the bible at times, trying to understand. This makes it much easier. You and your husband are awesome parents. Chase is very blessed. God bless you all.
Cher
I honestly cannot imagine any parent celebrating or rejoicing in the announcement that a son or daughter is gay. It must be a very hard lifestyle. There are the health ramifications including the average age of death being decades earlier than the norm. And the inability of any union to bring forth new life is a big deal as well. Fortunately, my husband and I have not had to deal with that particular challenge in our marriage but I hear it is extremely painful.
I think based on all of the negative consequences that come naturally with the gay lifestyle, it would be very possible to make the case that it is wrong/ against the natural law etc without bringing Jesus’ words into it at all.
Alice,
It saddened me to read your response to such a heartfelt and caring letter.
The arguments you presented concerning the “Gay Lifestyle are both misinformed and show a lack of understanding of what being a gay person is. First it is not a lifestyle, no more then being straight is a lifestyle. Its who the person is. Second, the health risks of being straight or gay are just the same. Take for example the number of deaths due to alcoholism, drug addiction, cancer, and diabetes. People of all walks of life battle these everyday. Does that make their life any more unnatural then anyone else’s?
Sure gay men can not procreate. But your argument about the inability to bring forth new life does not only apply to gay men and woman. What about the infertile couples who can not have children, or the couples that have gotten together in their later years of life and are no longer able to create new life due to age? The truth is many gay couples have normal functioning families with adopted children. Many of these children who have been adopted would still be wards of the foster-care system had gay men and women not taken that step in sharing their love. Your argument falls short as far as gay women are concerned as there are many that are able and have created life through natural inception. Many as well have been surrogate mothers.
I ask you how many parents of gay men or women have you spoken with? The majority of parents who have a gay son or daughter will say that their main concern is that their son or daughter be safe and happy in their life. Sure most parents have dreams for what they want their children to be but for the most part the love of their children overshadows the fear they are faced with when their child comes out to them.
I urge you to re-read the article again with an open mind and set aside your preconceived notions of what a gay person is. When you view something with a closed mind you miss out on what life has to offer and the opportunity to show compassion to another human being.
I wasn’t actually making an argument, simply sharing a different perspective on what I would want for my children. I do know parents of people who living an active lesbian/gay lifestyle (I say lifestyle because there are many people who feel homosexual inclinations but choose to live celibately–obviously different). A close friend of mine also struggled for years and is currently living in a lesbian relationship. I do not believe that gay is “who she is” as you seem to. She was the victim of sexual abuse as a child within her own family. Who knows what she would have been had that not happened but her story is not atypical and, in my opinion, weakens the argument the homosexual inclinations are completely “normal”.
I would never write a letter to my child like the one in this post. I don’t think it’s open-minded, I think it shows a lack of leadership and is very likely to cause confusion. Do my parents think I’m gay? Do they want me to be gay?
But I think the article was really about solutions to bullying and about how if we were all more accepting, bullying would end. Ha. There have always been and always will be people who pick on other people. Take this blog–most people here appear to agree with one another. Those who don’t agree will be attacked. The same thing happens on facebook. The same thing happens in schools. If it isn’t a Muslim or gay kid being attacked, it will be the one with the buck teeth or the big tummy. Kids can be mean. Of course, not too long ago, bullying didn’t lead to suicide. What is wrong with our society that that is where kids go? It doesn’t seem like the school system is really interested in solving the problem though. Instead there are many sensitivity training sessions in the hopes of getting the kids to “be nice”. In my years of teaching, I didn’t see much hope of that working and now, my husband and I home school our kids. Interestingly, home schooled kids behave a lot differently in groups and are a lot nicer to each other without all the training. I wonder what the difference is. Maybe the public schools should look into it?
Thank you for your response to my short comment and I wish you well.
One look in the mirror should answer your question concerning “What is wrong with our society, and why are kids today committing suicide” .
God forbid any of your kids or grandchildren turn out gay!
Alice: How can anyone take you seriously when you used the old “my close friend is gay” statement? It wasn’t too long ago that this same adage was used to accept racism, “My close friend is black but I still think interracial marriage is wrong.” Just so everyone is clear, having a “close gay friend” doesn’t make you any more loving toward, or understanding of, people that are gay. There is no “guilt of love” based on societal association.
By the way, I had two family members sexually abuse me when I was growing up AND I was raped when I was a teen. I’ve been married to my husband for almost 15 years… God only knows “what [I] would have been had that not happened”. *Maybe I would have been gay if I hadn’t been sexually abused!* That’s the most absurd excuse for someone “turning gay” that I’ve ever heard. Ludicrous.
As if people needed a further reason to write your ignorance off, you write this, “not too long ago, bullying didn’t lead to suicide.” Really? Based on what statistics? Maybe I’m just a bit confused but… suicide is not a new thing. The only new thing in regard to the relationship between bullying and suicide is social media and digital recovery. Meaning, there are now ways to prove that the dead person was bullied, it doesn’t mean *bullying as a cause for suicide* is new…
Your points are asinine and ignorant so I won’t even delve into the argument that there is no humanly possible way that a school system could even begin to FATHOM “solving the problem” of bullying. “Solving the problem” begins in the home and with the morals and guidelines the parents instill on their children. It begins with love and NOT with hate disguised as “sharing a different perspective.”
Chris: IF Alice’s children or grandchildren turn out to be gay, she’d most likely be the last person on earth to know about it. I doubt they would dare share that information with her…
You are definitely right when you say people are attacked on the blog if they disagree with the writer’s position (as evidenced by a couple comments to your post). That saddens me b/c we are all entitled to our own beliefs. And if we believe something in the bible as truth, that doesn’t make us judgemental.
While I don’t always agree with Glennons posts 100%, (this one in particular), I feel she is a gifted writer/speaker which keeps me coming back for more.
I love this.. all of it. I will share it, quote it and just simply be amazed by you and your writing. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this subject. There are things that I definitely agree with, such as children being a mirror– so true. Also, things that I don’t agree with, which I feel compelled to share my thoughts on.
You said… “We don’t believe that homosexuality is a sin. The Bible was inspired by God, but it was written, translated, and interpreted by imperfect people just like us…So your parents are Christians who study and pray and then carefully choose what we follow in the Bible, based on whether or not it matches our understanding of Jesus’s overall message.”
If you would, consider:
2 Peter 1:20-21
“Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things. For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.”
As this scripture says, the Bible did not originate in man. Man was carried along by the Spirit when writing the Bible. It takes faith to believe that the Bible is in fact God’s word and that it didn’t get screwed up along the way– but in this scripture (and many others) it explains that it is not from man’s interpretation. Therefore, God does not allow us to pick and choose which scriptures to follow and still call him Lord of our lives. Please read the book, “How to Read the Bible for All It’s Worth” by Fee and Stuart. This book is very helpful for Bible study; it explains hermeneutics and exegesis which it sounds like may be helpful for you.
You have such a large following on your blog, I hope and pray that you will portray Christianity in the way Jesus expected. He was very radical about his teachings, and many times he turned his followers away because they didn’t want to live out his commands. One of many examples: the rich young ruler. The bottom line is Jesus himself isn’t accepting of sin (and the OT and NT clearly define homosexuality as one of the many sins [Romans 1:26-27, 1Cor. 6:9-10]). Although, Jesus loves us no matter what and lets us make our own decision of whether or not we follow his commands. With all of that said, please don’t water down what the Bible says in order to suit your own views– you have such a persuasion to so many by what you say on this blog which is brave of you– and I’m sure you take that seriously. So you may reconsider this current post. It is misleading about the authority and Holiness of the Bible.
Thanks for letting me share my thoughts. Feel free to email me!
On a semi-related note- I read this article recently:
“While religion and tradition have led many to their positions on same-sex marriage, it’s also possible to oppose same-sex marriage based on reason and experience.” check it out…
http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2013/03/9432/
I am so glad someone brought that part up!! I too was shaking my head when she mentioned that you pick and choose what to believe. There’s a phrase that I was told that deff describes this, “don’t let your morality dictate your theology”.
🙂
Right on, Paige! If we believe any part of the Bible, we need to believe especially the part that says that ALL Scripture is God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16) … “Picking and choosing” just doesn’t work and is awfully presumptive.
Well said Paige!!
I just love you.
Wow. Some of those comments…shocking.
Here’s an open letter to the angry sisters above:
The only thing that makes a person a Christian is believing in Christ.
That’s the only thing.
Do you really believe Christ would have wanted his people squabbling over biblical interpretation, quoting obscure passages from the Bible, and generally parading themselves around as more enlightened than their brothers and sisters? Do you really believe he would have wanted to see you fighting…and over what? Over something that likely has nothing to do with you?
The worst of all sins is pride. The very worst…and in no small part because it is often mistaken for righteousness. Calling out others on their sins is just a convenient distraction.
Look to your own sins. Those are the only ones you need to worry about. As for the people around you — the only way you can bring them to God is by loving them, without judgment and without ulterior motive. “Hate the sin, not the sinner” is just an excuse. It’s not your job to judge, or hate. Nobody is in any position to do either. Remember that Jesus kept company with prostitutes, but had nothing good to say about hypocrites. Remember what he said about throwing stones.
Glennon is doing her very best to have a living faith. She deserves encouragement, not condemnation and argument. You all deserve encouragement, too, but it’s hard to hear it when you’re shouting.
Melinda, this is a message back to you and other believers only:
Love is so important to hear, and the truth is, God corrects and disciplines those he loves. This issue is not simply about old, confusing Bible verses. It is about honoring Christ, not taking grace for granted, recognizing our sin, and turning from it toward God (repenting). Jesus told one man to stop sinning so something worse wouldn’t happen to him. He told another woman to go and sin no more. I actually believe that not telling you that homosexuality is a problem for our Dad wouldn’t be loving at all.
Ephesians 6: 9 Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a] 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Sexual Immorality
12 “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 13 You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”[b] 17 But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.[c]
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
Well…I’m with Glennon on the “picking and choosing.” Paul also had a great deal to say about women, and what they should or should not wear and think and say. But that isn’t the point I was trying to make. My point was that nowhere did Jesus call us to cast judgment on each other. But he did call loudly for us to love and support each other — and if we can’t even do that with people who share our faith, what good are we? If we point at each other and call ourselves better Christians or shout about blasphemy or build a case for our judgment with bible verses, we sow discord when we should be cultivating love. We use the word of God as a weapon.
Imagine you have ten very young children — say, five years old. Imagine some of them have decided that they can discipline the others, because they think they know what you would do in their place. How would you react, when you came home and found one or two shaming the others? Especially knowing that the ones doing the punishing were only recently engaged in bad behavior of their own?
We’re like that — a bunch of kids that think we have it all figured out. But none of us do. So the best we can do is be kind.
If we’re not supposed to pick and choose, is nothing clearly right and wrong? Hm. I actually think you believe in right and wrong, because based on your response, you clearly think being judgmental is wrong. Do you realize that in condemning Christians as being judgmental and instructing them not to judge and to love and be kind instead, you are actually judging? You’re being the kid in the family who is trying to shame your siblings into being good. You’re trying to enlighten them to what you believe to be real truth. You’re picking and choosing verses that support your view. Are you sure you understood the scriptures about being judgmental correctly? Maybe they’re misinterpreted? Maybe they’re too confusing to be definitive. Seriously, I don’t think they are confusing. I also think there is a big difference between judging/condemning a person and judging right from wrong and condemning certain behaviors. We judge behaviors as right/wrong all day every day.
If you had ten kids, and some were doing things that Dad had clearly said not to do, would it be love to just ignore it? If you loved them, you wouldn’t remind them that they’re going to get in trouble? That would be lame. In order to appear non-judgmental because of your own sin, you’d just keep your mouth shut and let them possibly hurt themselves and others?
You assuming that the intent is to shame. You assume that disagreement equals judgement. But in so many responses to her article, people who disagree are not being ugly and condemning: they are communicating their sincere belief that God has a plan that has been written on the hearts of mankind from the beginning of time, that he has been very clear about his intent, and that there are/will be consequences to ignoring Dad’s instructions.
*You’re* assuming…
I don’t think you’re willfully misunderstanding what I am trying to say, but I do think we are not understanding each other. I will try not to use metaphors.
My first comment was not directed at the people who disagree with her — it was directed specifically at our “angry sisters” who posted a lot of vitriol in earlier comments, and used a lot of caps lock. It wasn’t the disagreement that shocked me, it was the theme in many of those comments that Glennon isn’t a “real Christian” and is somehow poisoning “real Christians” with her words. My point was that the only thing that makes a Christian “real” is having faith in Christ. I am definitely not condemning Christians, or anyone for that matter. It’s an incredibly common human trait to argue from a place of strong emotions and defensiveness.
I do think this statement is really backwards: “…instructing them not to judge and to love and be kind instead, you are actually judging?”
We probably have very different definitions of judgment. I don’t think it is judgement to stand up for someone who is being bullied, and ask the bully to question their actions…especially when the bully thinks they are acting on behalf of God and righteousness. It is one thing to disagree with someone, and quite another to rant at someone on behalf of God. My point was that God does not need us to rant on His behalf.
You can’t just quote bible verses. Bible verses have a context. Often times the message is tailored to specific person or group in time regarding a situation they are going through. This bible verse is for people who gave themselves over to “sin”. In other words they’ve put sex before their belief in God, in Christ. Sex is their God.
If the sexually immoral will truly not inherited the Kingdom, then very few people in the US are saved by this definition. Yet, Jesus came to set all the captives free who so ever believe in him will not perish but have everlasting life. These two thing can’t be true at the same time.
Jesus didn’t come to set those free who were perfect or absolutely moral. I think we all like to pick and choose the parts of the bible that suits our argument. One thing that is clear from the mouth of Jesus, it’s not our duty to judge others by their life, but to LOVE as HE first loved us. He is the truth, and his words are the most clear. LOVE first and let God handle everything else. If you believe God truly changes hearts and lives, then bring people to him and let God be God.
Yes, this. Beautiful.
People have strong disagreements over what the Bible is, and how it is to be used. The temptation is to assert that the side we take is fundamentally correct, but even in that case (especially in that case) it is crucial to remember what Jesus himself said were the most important rules, all having to do with love.
Thank you for this–posts like this and people like you are already helping to shape the futures of people like me into something brighter and more hopeful than ever before.
Thank you so much for this post.
Glennon – Thank you for your clear message. I had time with my precious 13 year old son tonight, reading and re-reading your letter. I could not have written these words so well, but they are exactly what I wanted to share with him as he hears and learns all that the church and society have to say about our gay brothers and sisters. I’m so proud of him, and I’m thankful for your words that I could share with him….my letter to him written by you. Keep telling truth! We cling to Micah 6:8 in this house.
Do justice. Love mercy. Walk humbly.
All of those are hard, but we can do hard things.
Love,
Sarah
Wow wow and WOW!!!!! Fanfreakentastic!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. This was incredible. One thing I know is that not all people agree, not all faiths agree, and not all Christians agree. My children—newly surrounded by Catholicism in our adopted country—have so many questions based on the traditions they are surrounded by that are not their own. Most recently, the stations of the cross procession in our little town. So many questions, one was “was Jesus Mary’s only child?” I have no idea, so I took to Christian and Catholic websites to find answers. There were none, only discord. Everyone used the bible to prove their own assertion. And so for me, I search for the message that resonates, and use my own discernment. And your message spoke to my condition. Because while I am ardently in favor of gay marriage, and my Christian community is a fierce advocate for the same, this message spoke of more than that to me. This message encourages me to push harder to embrace love, and look for the divine in those around me. To help when helping is hard, to speak for those who aren’t being heard. To do the “simple” tasks of love and service. As the pope did this week, to wash the feet of the unsung and shamed and discarded, even while traditionalists groan. For me, this post is about the testimony of peace, and the testimony of love, and in my eyes, those are huge. Enormous. And vital. But so hard to explicate. And this was powerfully done. Thank you.
Thanks Michelle, your words reflect my same thoughts.
I was raised Catholic and educated in Catholocs school and university. When I finished sadly I was done with religion. It took me years to come back to God and my relationshipn became stronger than ever. It was a personal relationship, unbreakable, pure love. I respect other religions and spiritual believes, every one has a divine right and way to connect with God. How could I be part of any group that judges and condemn with no mercy? that gets in the middle of that perfect personal relationship, thinking they know better? In my journey I looked for a place to gather, talk about Jesus and his immense love for us. A place to bring my family, but then again i found the judgment, and the Us again them. We are right they are wrong. Not what I want to show my kid about God. The world is hard enough as it is. I want to be that candle that brings light and spreads love and compassion. Thanks Glennon for opening the conversation and a safe place to express what we feel and looking for. Thanks to the people that comments here with support, respect and hope.
You said what is in my heart. Thank you for putting it so beautifully. It’s all about love.
This is beautiful and pretty much what I hope I would write if I were Christian and a better writer.
Thank you for such a great blog post. Your words are truly a gift!
On a side note, G, you should check out Lori McKenna’s music. She’s a truth teller too and a mom and her music has really touched me. I think you’d like it.
Hi G,why is the letter only for Chase and not your girls also?
I will DIE on that mountain with you! As a christian!
Glen, I’m holding your book in my hands!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO EXCITED I pee’d a little~ haha- Have a great weekend, I’ll be on my bed reading………………… xo
You were doing very good until you said, “Chase, we don’t believe that homosexuality is sin.” Ya see, Chase, we only believe in the Bible at the parts we agree with. The parts we don’t agree with well, they must have miscoppied or mistranslated or added later by people with bad motives.
” Man shall not live by bread alone but by EVERY word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.” .
And God IS love. And every state, every belief, every life, no matter who, no matter where….is loved. And is forgiven. http://lisavanahn.com/pyl-the-best-guacamole-ever-why-i-love-easter-and-a-disclaimer/
I don’t think that what she was saying.
I have never commented on your blog, because I read it intermittently. I think I get kind of spooked by how real and raw your thoughts and words are. The help you give and the support of the monkees are nothing short of amazing, though. I’m compelled to comment today, because I have two sons and a daughter, and I feel exactly exactly exactly what you expressed in this post. I mean, exactly. From your thoughts on bullying, to how to accept homosexuality partnered with my faith, to the unconditional love I feel towards my children, to wanting to celebrate my child should he/she come out to me one day. Simply beautiful. Thank you.
In elementary school, I had this beautiful yellow folder for religious class. The first day, we had to draw a sheet that would be the cover of this folder. The words on that sheet were: God is love.
That Big Guy can actually BE a VERB, how awesome is that? If He can BE that beautiful verb, I don’t understand how can we think that there is any limitation.
Maybe I can’t quote the Big book, or tell what is written for this or that. I’m not very good to retain by heart. I’m very thankful for that teacher that made us draw that sheet, because those 3 words are all I need to remember: God is love.
Glennon, thank you so much for this beautiful, poignant post. Absolutely lovely, and it really impacted my day. I’ll be sharing it with anyone who will listen. Sad that there are arguments taking place in the comments, though not at all surprising. You wrote something beautiful here and, in my opinion, perfect. Thank you again.
You knocked my socks off today. Seriously, that was one powerful blast of pure love. Thank you.
Thank you for being a really great mother. I spent some time with my own this evening and good mums change the world.
[…] A Mountain I’m Willing To Die On by Glennon. […]
This is such a tough topic and I think you’ve done a great job addressing your viewpoints! I wish more people could respectufully disagree. I think it is fine for Christians to disagree. It just doesn’t make sense when they start actively and passionately behaving hatefully towards anyone. God loves us all regardless of what brand of sin we subscribe to. At the end of the day, God will be the judge. I’d prefer to let Him have that job! I’ve got enough issues to deal with when I look in the mirror without worrying about telling someone else how they should live!
Well said!
This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Really, truly. I could feel my heart actually expanding as I read it. I have been struggling with my faith for some time now. Sitting on the fence of wanting to dive right back in, but not feeling it fits with who I am or what I believe today. And the sad thing is I think it’s because the ‘loud’ Christians are the ones who are writing about disagreeing with what you wrote. I feel like that’s all I hear and it makes it so hard to want to go to a place that can have so much love and joy and hope…with so much blackness riding alongside it. I suppose they don’t consider it blackness…but when I look into my best friend’s eyes, knowing she is looked down on and pitied by this community, considered a sinner just for the person she loves with all her heart, I just can’t do it.
BUT…your post gives me hope. That I need to keep searching and not give up. Because there are those out there like me who question but still love God. Who accept but still follow Jesus. I will keep searching.
I ALSO want to say that when you were talking about our children acting like us, it reminded me of the Dixie Chick’s song ‘I Hope’: “Our children are watching us. They put their trust in us. They’re gonna be like us.”
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Your article was very thought provoking. I agree that our children are mirroring us and we need to look internally more to make real change. We are sinners and this world is evil, in need of Gods grace and mercy. However, I believe my response to my son would be dramatically different than yours because I do not believe that as Christians we can completely ignore the marriage that God created between one man and one woman. My response would be… “Son I love you. No matter what I love you. I believe this is a sin and I will pray daily that God gives you the strength to overcome this sin. However, I will always still love you, even when I don’t support your decision.” Jesus called us to love one another. He led an example of loving sinners, but love doesn’t mean telling them their sin is okay. Love also doesn’t mean I have to agree with his choice.
God created LIFE. We (as humans) created marriage. The ultimate and only marriage that matters is the one we have with our creator. When we are aligned with our creator we follow our purpose and path, and this looks different for everyone.
Church of Corinth, 57 AD:
“Yes, guys. I’m in love with my step-mother. Look, I know it looks bad, but we really do love each other, and God is love, so why are you so upset? Don’t you want us to be happy? Don’t think think God would want us to be happy? Your dogma and pragmatism is really just bringing us down. You’re being very Oediphobic. Paul’s just some angry white guy who’s clearly repressing his own unspoken Oedipus complex. Seriously, it’s my business. No one else’s. If I want to sleep with my step-mother, and call myself a Christian and go to church, that’s my business.”
Hmm. I wonder how that would have gone down.
Someone I know posted this in response to the Momastery link I just shared:
“Marriage is in the bible. For those of you who want to keep the church and state separate, get a different name for it. ???? Why can’t it be called a union? After all it is different right? A man and woman vs a man and man or woman and woman? Those relationships aren’t equal.”
So I replied with:
“Those relationships aren’t equal.” is exactly the problem with your statement. In the eyes of the USA they should be, because as American’s we’re all created equal -anything less would be un-American. The various religious institution out there, like yours want to “own” the word “Marriage” and the sad fact of the matter is just because you coined it first, doesn’t mean you own it.
But as a tolerant American-(terrier), I’ll agree with you if it simplifies the problem; clearly this is just a matter of verbiage. Why don’t all Christians (or all religious entities) just band together and demand that government stop referring to it as “Marriage”? We could all just call the contract on file with the government a “Civil Union” for EVERYONE; not just gays or straights -not separate:but equal. Then any religious organization that wants to call it “Marriage” can do so -if it pleases them and their god? We could NULLIFY ALL the current government marriages because lets face it, everyone knows that “Marriage” is a religious institution to start with and this American government shouldn’t be telling religions what to do or who they should accept. Just think of all the tax dollars that would be generated in that mad dash for Civil Unions.. The fees might even help balance some of the national debt and make everyone happy at the same time.
In the end -it really doesn’t matter how you skin it. YOU don’t want GAY people (ick) to tarnish YOUR institution and I’m okay with that. I’m sure that some OTHER religious entity that is accepting of GAY people will let them get MARRIED by THEIR GOD and NOT YOURS. Both your FAITHS can duke it out or measure your sticks or WHATEVER you want to call it, just leave MY gay DADDIES out of it because they probably don’t CARE about either FAITH or the GOD they CLAIM.
Does disagreement=hate?
If you disagree with me, does that mean you hate me?
Can love still win if we agree to disagree?
I”m a conservative Christian with an open heart. It’s possible.
Your parenting skills are admirable. I love YOUR open heart.
People can have relationships with whomever they want.
What you cannot do is convince me that God didn’t mean what he said about homosexuality, over and over and over again. As a Bible scholar ( from an accredited university), I take the word of God seriously. Sometimes it’s hard, and this is one of those very hard times.
What I can never do is point to these references about sin and say they are no longer relevant.
Because maybe the Crucifixion is meaningless too, and the Resurrection is a lie. What else?
Deacon, this is a very thoughtful response. I have to agree with you.
I have struggled with the way to reconcile God’s love with the current debate over gay marriage.
I do agree with what Glennon said about loving God and others first – this is SO important. We should always be going back to make sure we are loving others.
Jesus says in Mark 7:20-23, “What comes out of a person is what defiles them. 21 For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thoughts come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22 adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” (just what Glennon said – if there’s a problem on the outside, look inside)
When I look over that list, I can’t be honest without admitting to many of those evils (Christ calls them ALL evils). Jesus knows that. He loves me and embraces me as I am, where I am, but He doesn’t want me to stay there. If I’m slandering someone (gossiping),or if I am involved in deceit (lying), He wants me to stop what I’m doing and change my ways to become more like Him. The same thing goes for any on that list, including sexual immorality (which, according to scripture, does include homosexual acts, adultery, premarital sex, even lustful thoughts). He loves us and does not hate us. He wants us to be loving and holy.
I really appreciate what Steve Gershom has to say. He is a gay man, but has a very interesting perspective as a Catholic. While I am not a Catholic myself, I believe that you could replace a lot of places where he says,”the church” with “the Bible” or “God.”
http://littlecatholicbubble.blogspot.com/2011/07/gay-catholic-and-doing-fine.html
The problem is that adulterers are allowed to marry, and remarry under our current laws. Fornicators are allowed to marry, divorce, and remarry under our current laws. What God brings together in marital union, a judge tears apart in the courtroom.
We as a nation tolerate one thing we call sin, but not another. Perhaps if we make laws banning couples from divorcing, adulterers from remarrying, and fornicators from marrying, we would have a leg to stand on. The fact is we’re not treating all these things equal even though God does. You can’t say oh that’s different because it’s a man and a woman. It’s not different if you consider it all “sin”.
The law is secular, and in a secular world marriage is not based on God’s law, but what is equal under the Constitution. If we’re going to make all laws biblical base, then we would be under something akin to Sharia law with a very low divorce rate. Separation of church and state protects both those who believe and those who don’t believe. It stops one religion from leading the laws over all, and it allows people to be free to choose.
As a Christian I don’t want any law limiting my rights or freedom to worship God in my faith.
On an additional note:
If we are seeking out one group of people and demonizing them because of their behavior or beliefs, then we are not being loving. While this may be the spirit of some in this debate, they do not represent all.
I support DOMA and similar legislation not because I am singling out the GLBT community (or that I hate them – I don’t). The concern is, once the traditional definition of marriage is changed, what’s saying a person couldn’t marry their pet, or their child, or multiple spouses, or a sibling, etc.?
We all need boundaries.
“We all need boundaries.” Your and everyone’s boundary is defined by consent my dear. Pet…child…..not able to properly consent. And people married siblings regularly in biblical times…and it was normal. Same with multiple spouses. Your doing exactly what she is talking about. Judging or trying to restrict someone in FEAR that something you find scary might happen. Look again.
1) We no longer marry children at age 12, although we use to. We no longer allow siblings to get married. Not everything is a slippery slope on a downward spiral. Some laws have become more conservative to protect those that can’t protect themselves.
2) We are talking about a contract between TWO legal adults regarding their family or potential family and their property.
The bible clearly states that homosexuality is a sin. Sin is something that followers of Christ are tempted with everyday, but God says to come to him for strength and a way out from those sins. In Hebrews 12 it talks about how discipline is essential to unconditional love. There are times that God shows us examples of his discipline on his people for sinning against him because in the end he wants them to understand that what they are doing is not okay, and that one day they will be cleansed of those sins and made holy if they chose to repent. So for a mother to unconditionally love on her son and allow him to be gay and support his decision as long as your happy and you just love others like yourself is crazy. If the mother really loved her child she wouldn’t support the child’s actions of sinning and want them to be cleansed of that and made holy. That’s what unconditional love is.
Loved this post! Reading so many of these comments made me SO THANKFUL that I am NOT a Christian! Such small minds, such small hearts, and they don’t even get it.
Bear in mind that the author of this post is,herself, a Christian. And she does not appear small-minded, nor small-hearted. Though I did see things that they did not seem to “get” (I suppose, just as this Atheist does not quite “get” religion…) But I try to face each human by their actions as well as intentions…
I felt sad to see your comment. I think it makes God sad as well, that Christians,human, broken, imperfect Christians have damaged the Message for you. Too often we get in the way of God and his work.
Ali, I agree that we, too often, get in the way and I’m sad to see Sarah’s comment. I admit reading some of the comments from Christians makes me see how they are being so judgmental and don’t even know it.
I’m an evangelical Christian and first to admit without God’s grace and mercy I would be lost and have no hope so why wouldn’t I want to share THAT with others instead of my disdain or judgment?
My filter: LOVE. Mercy DOES triumph judgment when you’re a Christian so if I’m not loving ALL people (not just the ones that are like me) where is the mercy and love in that?
Thanks for sharing! I loved this quote” If I want my world to be less vicious, then I must become more gentle. If I want my children to embrace other children for who they are, to treat other children with the dignity and respect every child of God deserves, then I had better treat other adults the same way.” I do not agree that the Bible is like the “telephone game” however. <3 Happy Easter God Bless you & your family.
just fyi – The game of telephone is an unfair analogy to impose upon the transmission of the Bible because it does not accurately reflect how we have received our modern Bible, and Christians have no need to worry about such tired, misinformed arguments. The truth is, our modern Bibles are not merely the result of translations of translations that have been passed through languages and languages and versions and versions. On the contrary, modern Bible versions are direct translations from a wealth of copies of the Biblical documents in their original languages.2 In fact, we have more original language (in this case, Greek) copies of the New Testament than we do of any other ancient work, at over 5,000! And although we do not have as many copies of the Old Testament documents as we do of the New, the same is true for how we have received our modern translations of the Old Testament: they are direct translations from the language in which they were originally written (Hebrew).
http://resurrectedministries.weebly.com/answering-the-telephone-game-argument-against-the-bible.html and also check http://hermeneutics.stackexchange.com/questions/2031/is-oral-history-like-the-telephone-game
Answering the "Telephone Game Argument" Against the Bible
Thank you for your response to that point. I have done some research and come to the same conclusion. And those who copied the Old Testament checked their work painstakingly – washing their hands after every time they wrote the word “Yahweh.” As I understand it, they would discard the page if they made a mistake and start over again.
You are amazing!!!
As an atheist who feels a strong connection to the world (people, animals, the environment) and really struggles to understand/bridge the chasm when I have genuinely inquired “why do you not support gay marriage” and felt stuck, as though I am not allowed to comment further when they say “it is not the way God intended relationships to be” this post almost brought me to tears! I have printed it out. Highlighted it. I am clinging to it like a life preserver. THANK YOU. Your bravery can candor are an inspiration and I hope to uncover more people like you as my life progresses.
Sarah, I had to write and thank you for your honesty! Yes, a Christian Minister is thanking you for your honesty! Oh, by the way, I am also a lesbian who has been “married” for 25 yrs and my spouse and I raised three boys who are now grown with families of their own.
I have long said, “Christians are a strange bunch!” The Bible says, “love your neighbor as yourself” then we say, “that only applies to the neighbors I agree with!” I believe with all my heart that when Jesus said “ALL are welcomed and loved by God” He meant “ALL are loved and welcomed by God!!”
We went through our own trials with our children who had to deal with prejudice but my proudest day was the day my son was out playing and my spouse called him for dinner. His friend asked, “is that your mom?” He matter of fact said, “that’s one of them!!” THAT’S how we are to be to each other!! We are all God’s children on different paths or journeys! God Bless you in all you do and wherever your journey takes you! If you ever want to read my page I am on facebook under Heaven’s Tableland Christian Church as well as the web site posted.
Hmm. I’m sorry, where did Jesus say all are welcomed and loved by God? Because the Bibles I’ve read and studied from actually seem to say that Jesus spoke about and warned of Hell repeatedly. In fact, Jesus mentioned Hell more than any other single speaker in the Bible. Goats and lambs and all that. (Oh, wait. Rob Bell mentioned that, didn’t he….)
Frankly, the comments from many clergy on this page are disturbing. Is exegesis just no longer taught in seminary anymore, or are there a lot more lay clergy than I thought?
Haha it seems that most pastors are just preaching about the good and fluffy things from the bible and not all of the truth.
Hmmm, by my calculations, Hell is mentioned 20 times in the New Testament. On the other hand, Love is mentioned over 200 times in the New Testament. So Jesus definitely spoke more of love than hell.
Wondering why this is focusing on your son and not your children.
I think at the time of the original letter writing – Chase was their only child.
I scrolled through the comments to get this form with one eye open and cringing. Like someone said up thread, for every negative comment there are ten positive ones. I’m still on my journey with faith and have a lot of questions unanswered, but I do know this (at the ripe and wise age of 25 HA): I truly believe that we are not here on this planet to control one another, to judge one another, and to tear each other to shreds, either verbally or physically. If we took a tenth of the time coming up with quick responses and quotes to support our own arguments, as we did to look into the eyes of the person we have conflict with and just LISTEN, I think we’d all be far better off. We’re here to learn from each other. We might not agree. We might get upset. But guess what….the only life you control is your own (and even then, you don’t really). There is only ONE who will judge us ultimately, so why don’t we all keep our hands to ourselves, share our toys, and PLAY NICE. Phew, end rant.
In my opinion, this was the heart of your post. And it rings so true to me. Girlfriend, you have *preached*:
“Sometimes I wonder if folks keep arguing about the confusing parts so they don’t have to get started doing the simple parts. So a long time ago, your father and I decided that if a certain scripture turns our judgment outward instead of inward, if it requires us to worry about changing others instead of ourselves, if it doesn’t help us become better lovers of God and life and others, if it distracts us from what we are supposed to be doing down here—finding God in everyone, feeding hungry people, comforting the sick and the sad, giving whatever we have to give, and laying down our lives for our friends—then we assume we don’t understand it yet, and we get back to what we do understand. Chase, what we do understand is that we are reborn. And here is what I believe it means to be reborn:
The first time you’re born, you identify the people in the room as your family. The second time you’re born, you identify the whole world as your family. Christianity is not about joining a particular club; it’s about waking up to the fact that we are all in the same club. Every last one of us. So avoid discussions about who’s in and who’s out at all costs. Everybody’s in, baby. That’s what makes it beautiful. And hard. If working out your faith is not beautiful and hard, find a new one to work out. And if spiritual teachers are encouraging you to fear anyone, watch them closely, honey. Raise your eyebrow and then your hand. Because the phrase repeated most often in that Bible they quote is Do Not Be Afraid.”
[…] The article can be found here. […]
Damnit… That was one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I have a 12 year old son, and those are my sentiments exactly. Thank you…❤
You say: “The Bible was inspired by God, but it was written, translated, and interpreted by imperfect people just like us. This means that the passing of this sacred scripture from generation to generation and from culture to culture has been a bit like the “telephone game” you play at school. After thousands of years, it’s impossible to judge the original spirit of some scripture. We believe that when in doubt, mercy triumphs judgment. So your parents are Christians who study and pray and then carefully choose what we follow in the Bible, based on whether or not it matches our understanding of Jesus’s overall message.”
Anyone who “chooses” what to follow in the Bible does not truly believe in the Bible. It’s not a menu. We either believe it to be God’s Word and true or we don’t. I don’t believe we can make of it what we will to suit our own purposes. This is wishy-washy don’t-rock-the-boat middle-of-the-road Christianity.
Someone else who isn’t paying attention… neither to the author nor to actual scripture. Unless you are living with the Amish or similarly unaffected groups of people (which I assume you aren’t because you are tying on a computer), you are also cherry-picking what verses to follow. It doesn’t say in the Bible that if customs change then the laws governing how we should act must change, and yet you probably have spoken in church (if you attend), you probably wear or have worn jewelry (such as your wedding band or a cross necklace, for instance), and probably don’t cover your head when walking into a house of worship. But you have the audacity to accuse this inspiring woman of being a cherry-picking, “wishy-washy don’t-rock-the-boat middle-of-the-road” Christian. Tisk tisk
Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the two Great commandments that He gave us. All others fall behind that, again as stated by Jesus. If any rules/laws/commandments are not consistent with these two, then they should not be followed. This is demonstrated by Jesus Himself when He broke the commandment “keep the Sabbath holy” when someone needed to be healed (re-read Mark… you’ll find it within the first couple of chapters). The Bible actually quite simply and transparently stated it.
Love is tough. Any parent who loves their child calls out improper behavior and will do so a million times to bring about a positive change in behavior. The child may resist correction and even resent it at the time, but if the discipline comes from a loving parent, then in time, the child matures and realizes it was for his own good. Our natural selves without restraint can be very unruly. God loves us enough to point us back to his design and to correct us when we need it. Love is not just acceptance. It is also protecting our children from evil and from lifestyle choices and behaviors that are destructive.
Anne,
Clearly you are a “lifestyle choice” person. You choose to believe in GOD after all. But at what point in your life did you think to yourself “Hey, I’m STRAIGHT”? I’m gonna guess NEVER. Who are you to judge others? Everything we are, is what GOD made us to be.
Not judging others…just behavior. Heteros have struggles with their sex drives, too. Choosing not to become addicted to porn, choosing to remain faithful to one spouse, choosing to get help for sex addiction… We all know that sex is a powerful drive that can become destructive. The thing is, I believe that we don’t have to be slaves to our bodies..our drives. There is choice. Just like any other appetite.
If someone is a child molester, a compulsive liar, an alcoholic, an abusive spouse, are we not to judge their behavior?
It’s interesting how you compare sex to Homos vs Hetros. A Homo can struggle or not with the same things you listed for hetros. You’re the one imply CHOICE was present. Show me how GOD didn’t intend the outcome?
As for lumping child molesters, liars, alcoholics, and abusive spouses into the mix, you’re simply attempting to muddy the waters. Not in one way did you address my question. With regard to all of the listed, according to your own bible, you shouldn’t judge any of them. It might seem a little backwards, but our laws only ask you to judge the evidence… not the people.
As I said, just judging behavior. Otherwise, there is no good and bad, no right or wrong. I’d have no right to correct my kids, and no reason to restrain my own behavior. I don’t view homosexuality differently than any other sexual sin.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTwugmG4hoA&feature=youtu.be
I believe this is exactly what more Christians, true Bible believing, Bible/Jesus following people need to hear and share.
Thank-you for that.
I loved it when I read it this time just as much as I loved it the first time. And, I agree, that Berkus is a menace for sure!
Beautiful. Perfect. Thank you!
And I’m sure it goes without saying, that the same letter would be written if one of your DAUGHTERS were to come out. 🙂
Fabulous letter. You’re right – people argue the details because they don’t want to deal with changing THEMSELVES. Which is after all, the only thing any one of us can do – change ourselves.
Old testament, New testament…….The Bible is the Bible is the Bible. If the Old testament wasn’t important, why did and why do they still put the two together??? If a person is BORN with a very impatient personality and lashes out at their spouse and kids every chance they get, is that okay??? I mean they were BORN that way. God made them that way, right? WRONG!! We all have our crosses to bear in life! The person with the impatience needs to really really work to fight that sin and they need to seek God to help them. Hate the sin, not the sinner.
G, the love you show to your son is beautiful, however, we as parents should always seek to lead our children’s SOULS to heaven!! This life is only temporary, this is the dress rehearsal for eternity. What we do on earth will be judged by God when we die. We need to lead our children AWAY from sin, otherwise we are just as guilty! Hate the sin, not the sinner!!
I agree. If the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, how are we helping our children by telling them it’s okay?
When’s the last time you ate at Red Lobster? All the sins are equal…
There are a lot of people here who are upset with G’s comment that the translation of the bible is like a game of telephone. While I too dislike this statement, I believe it would be a good way to explain something to a young child who is not old enough to full comprehend. Because, while there is much more to how the bible has been translated than that, it is true that only modern translations of the bible that call homosexualtiy a sin.
The truth is, there was no concept of homosexuality until the 18th century. If you study the original text that God gave us, the answer is not black and white. In fact, there is a very compelling argument that is supported by the historical text to say that the modern translations are wrong when they state homosexualtiy is a sin.
What the bible (original text) does say is that sexual immorality is a sin. But sexual immorality is not defined by the bible as homosexualtiy. And the examples of sexual immorality in the bible are not loving homosexual relationships. The examples of sexual immorality in the bible include things like adultry and rape, and yes, there are examples that include homosexual behavior. However, where the examples of sexual immorality include homosexuality there is always a larger issue at the heart of the immorality (sodom and gommorah had more to deal with gang rape than homosexuality).
So, I am not saying that who disagrees with G (and with gay marriage) is wrong. Perhaps further personal investigation into what sexual immorality is will lead you to conclude homosexuality is a sin. All I am saying is that anyone who says homosexuality is a sin solely based on their New English Translation bible is mistaken. “The bible says it’s wrong” is not an acceptable argument against homosexuality/gay marriage.
Go out there, read the research for both sides that is based on the ORIGINAL text of the bible, and then come back here and comment. I think that some people will still come to the conclusion that homosexuality = sexual immorality. But I think many more people will see that it is not so black and white, and will therefore stop judging and condemming others and leave this issue up to God.
I suppose if you’re only going to focus on Sodom and Gomorrah, However, there’s obviously more to is than that.
A brief exposition of Paul’s use of ‘arsenokoitai’
Someone else who isn’t paying attention… neither to the author nor to actual scripture. Unless you are living with the Amish or similarly unaffected groups of people (which I assume you aren’t because you are tying on a computer), you are also cherry-picking what verses to suit you. This woman does not claim to be a theologian or to have all of the answers. She is only following the true word of Jesus… something that many Christians today seem to have no grasp of and no real desire to do.
Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the two Great commandments that He gave us. All others fall behind that, again as stated by Jesus. If any rules/laws/commandments are not consistent with these two, then they should not be followed. This is demonstrated by Jesus Himself when He broke the commandment “keep the Sabbath holy” when someone needed to be healed (re-read Mark… you’ll find it within the first couple of chapters). The Bible actually quite simply and transparently stated it.
So… what does this mean for your poor children? That they are not to be changed if they are gay. Whom they love is whom they love. It is our duty, every last one of us, to love them and give them the same respect and rights that all we ourselves are able to enjoy (love thy neighbor as thyself). Believe that being gay or taking part in homosexual acts is wrong all you want, but that way lies judgement and *gasp* SIN. You know… that thing that you are accusing other people of doing by being GAY.
Also, do some research on the whole homosexual thing. Especially the part about it not being a choice (I mean, honestly… who would choose to be ridiculed, bullied, marginalized, and discriminated against?). I think that this might lead you back to the conclusion many on here have already come to, including the author, which is that God made them EXACTLY who they are supposed to be. How we treat people (as in the above terrible example you gave) is a CHOICE. How we treat, accept, and love our homosexual brothers and sisters is what WE will be judged on based on the most important commandments that Jesus gave us.
Re: the poor children: if they love someone who’s already married, is that ok? If they can’t contain their love to one person and chose a life of promiscuity, is that ok? If they chose to visit prostitutes, is that ok? How about if they’re addicted to porn? What if they want to have sex with animals? Is there ever a line they’d cross where we might say no honey, that’s not good for you..that’s not ok? Or is it love to embrace whatever behavior comes naturally? Can’t no be a loving response?
The research about homosexuality has yet to define a cause. The American Psychiatric Association says:
What causes Homosexuality/Heterosexuality/Bisexuality?
No one knows what causes heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality. Homosexuality was once thought to be the result of troubled family dynamics or faulty psychological development. Those assumptions are now understood to have been based on misinformation and prejudice. Currently there is a renewed interest in searching for biological etiologies for homosexuality. However, to date there are no replicated scientific studies supporting any specific biological etiology for homosexuality. Similarly, no specific psychosocial or family dynamic cause for homosexuality has been identified, including histories of childhood sexual abuse. Sexual abuse does not appear to be more prevalent in children who grow up to identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual, than in children who identify as heterosexual.
The research about heterosexuality has yet to define a cause. The American Psychiatric Association says:
“No one knows what causes heterosexuality, homosexuality, or bisexuality.”
Are you in one of the three groups listed? If so, they haven’t figured you out either. God made all of them, just the way they are.
Is it love to embrace whatever behavior comes naturally? Can no be a loving response?
Momastery has done a lot of good but please, everyone, Glennon is NOT a theologian. I beg you to be careful in following her interpretation of scripture. Seek the truth for yourselves. To blatantly say homosexual acts are not a sin is to deny God and lead his sheep astray. We are called to speak the truth in love and it is LOVE to bring others closer to God’s truth. If my son were gay, I’d love him fiercely too, but I’m not going to encourage him to pursue sinful acts. If you don’t believe the Bible, then this means nothing to you anyway; but if you call yourself a Christian and quote the Bible in these matters, it is dangerous to pick & choose what you want to believe to justify your actions.
And the arguments about well, she doesn’t cover her hair so that means gay sex is okay? What? Customs changed, yes. But the moral law hasn’t.
Mary,
For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God; Ephesians 2:8
My question is do you believe that upholding moral law is what saves us?
I am not a Theologian, but I truly follow Christ & his commandment to love others as myself. I know that we are all as Glennon has so eloquently written, working out our own Salvation with fear & trembling.
Who is the Shepard, you or Christ?
Are we not told that there is no “act” we can perform that would grant us Salvation?
Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.
Ephesians 2:9
I believe love wins as I’m sure you do as well. I believe that when we speak about homosexuality as though it is an act, we are mistaken. We live in a fallen world that is riddled with sin. Are you blameless Mary? Do you not sin? Sin is inevitable, we live in a fallen world. Isn’t this why we ALL need a Savior? Yes we are co-heirs in Christ, we are conquerors & over-comers in Him who strengthens us. We are children of God. Yes. Even with the strength of the Almighty, our human condition causes us to stumble and fall. You see, I think that God’s grace is big enough to cover everyone who so believes. More so when we have opened our hearts & have been brave & bold enough to tell him…”I need you, I just can’t do this alone anymore” Isn’t that when we see his amazing grace & glory work in us. We all need his mercy & love. His love is what saves us. Telling people they’re bad and that they need to be better doesn’t save them, we are saved by his grace not by his moral laws.
Blessings & love!
And yet Romans 6 says:
6 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? 2 By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? 3 Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
5 For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with,[a] that we should no longer be slaves to sin— 7 because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.
8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. 9 For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13 Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. 14 For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.
Slaves to Righteousness
15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! 16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. 18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19 I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. 20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21 What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[b] Christ Jesus our Lord.
I’ll add this to Anne’s response:
Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20 NASB)
These things don’t make you saved. That’s the point! Yes, God wants us to grow as become better people and closer to him, and each person’s journey is personal. But these things aren’t what saved us. It’s our faith, simply our faith that Jesus died for our sins and rose again.
There are many people trying to be better people that don’t believe in Christ, and they may be as close to sinlessness as possible, BUT according to the word their is only one way unless you’re Jewish, and that’s through God’s son.
MrsGrapevine: Jesus said, “If you love me, keep my commands.”
Glennon,
LOVE this post to no end.
Perhaps you’ve already watched this video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hlVBg7_08n0#! Even if you have already…Watch it again & again! & then share it. It is filled to the brim with LOVE. I posted this a while back & shared it with my 3 boys. We spoke in length about the many shapes of Gods love that he so graciously shares with us. We are called to love each other, nothing more & nothing less. I think that when we match what we say with something visual, it seems to impact our little ones even more. PULEEZ WATCH IT! Thank-you for your tireless & selfless efforts to love.
Blessings & love,
Tanya
I so wish we could have had an opportunity to hang out while I was down visiting Kelle. I’m sure we would be fast friends. I love this post. Next time I’m down we will have to have a girl’s night with lots of beer!
but not dark beer because that is nasty,
I don’t know Glennon personally, but I’m almost certain, from her biography & other postings, that she abstains from drinking, & probably wouldn’t appreciate an invitation to “a girl’s night with lots of beer.”
I totally KNEW you’d repost this today!
But, G – here’s the thing….. do you really think you’re in a position to define what is or isn’t a sin? Don’t you think it’s a pretty bold thing to say, yeah, we LOVE the bible and we LOVE God but he’s just wrong on this and I’m right? I know better than God?
I’m a supporter of homosexuals, not because I think I know better than God (and that’s honestly what tugs at my heart most your ministry – it’s a world of “my truth” instead of “God’s truth”) but because of Romans 3:19 – the bible is written to reveal to ME MY sin, not to be used to bible thump other people and their sins. If homosexuals are good with their life, and they are good with God (if they want to be) then I’m totally good with them because I’m not here to judge them in any way.
We end up at the same place – I love my homosexual brethren and want the very best for them – but I don’t feel qualified in any way to make the declaration “hey, God was just kidding when He said that – it’s actually not a sin.” Instead, it’s not a sin I struggle with (and I struggle with A LOT – I’m as imperfect as anyone) so that part of the bible doesn’t speak to ME nor would I use it harm anyone else.
The message I do agree with – God loves you madly, He wants you to be His completely, and if you let Him, He’ll use you to bring this world closer to Him. However you (being homosexual, gossiper, judger, materialistic seeker, whatever) work that out with Him, I honor.
Sigh. I know the Monkees will jump all over this post. And when you think about how hurt you are when there is 1 negative comment to every 100 positive comments, this is the first time I’ve posted because I know how everyone jumps all over anyone who might disagree with you in the slightest way. Bracing for the slaughter…
Erin–
Big difference between “I struggle with sin daily, but lean on God to rescue me from temptation and daily sanctify me to become more like His Son” and “I don’t struggle with sin, because I embrace it totally; it is a personal identity to me and not something I will forgo to become who God wants me to be.”
You can’t be good with God and still love your sin, because the Holy Spirit causes us to see life and ourselves in a fundamentally different way. Sin hurts God; if we don’t see it as a disgusting filth and a stench in His nostrils and a disfiguring mar, how can we claim He lives in us? Christians are saved not because we’re without sin, but because through Christ, we’re justified, and through Him, we’re daily sanctified; we sin, but we see our sin for what it is. We shouldn’t excuse it, even though we acknowledge and celebrate (especially this Holy Week) that we’re no longer enslaved by it.
I agree with you Erin. We are all connected here on earth, arms linked whether we like it or not and God of course loves and values the individual but He is also more aware than any of us of how his gracious commandments affect us as a whole – as a connected fabric of lives. No one knows how gay marriage will affect society as a whole – no one knows. This is truly a social experiment we are conducting. I don’t think any one can honestly say they know it is good or they know it is bad – the results are far from in. Of course loving each other is the most important lesson to learn here on earth…and part of learning to love each other means putting your personal desires and impulses aside for the good of the group – something which I do daily as a mother, trying my best to be consistent and to be someone my kids can count on even though I swear gypsy blood runs through my ADD veins. Should gay people be asked to also sacrifice their natural inclinations for the good of society? Who knows, man, who knows – well, acutally God probably knows.
Thank you for this post! It gives me hope that there are more Christians out there that believe in love and equality and justice than those who don’t!
[…] I cheer and celebrate and hug him and tell him how it’s OK and we cherish him no matter what? Again, that would require it being a […]
YES!! I would happily die on it right there with you, and I’m fairly certain a RED FERN would grow right there in between us….because LOVE WINS!
Carry On, Warrior 🙂
I think you’re great, Glennon! Thanks for being such a bright spot in my day. You are terrific, and you will rock the book tour!!
The timing of this post is amazingly perfect. I have 2 boys. One is 10, overweight and made fun of at school, but I know once he hits a growth spurt, he’ll thin out. He has been brought to tears just trying to get dressed someways. The other has been called a geek and nerd for years; and was told in PE class yesterday that because he doesn’t have a girlfriend in 6th grade, 6th freakin grade!!! he must be gay. He has verbalized wanting to die because of the bullying and I am scared to death, he will be one of those statistics. He is gifted, we don’t consider him special because he’s smart, why does being smart make you a geek or nerd? In the 12 years of being a mom, I can’t even count the number of times I have asked myself what kind of freaking parents do kids have that they have learned how to cut to the core of another person. But I know the answer to my own question. I have seen and heard firsthand in my own neighborhood, the mimicking and modeling of adult bullying by children and have been subject of it by said parents myself. So there really is no wondering. Only denial and ignorance.
Dear Colleen, I’m so very sorry for you and your boys. It hurts us when people hurt our children. The first response I have is to beat up someone (just kidding), but it isn’t far from my mind. I had some similar instances with my own boys. One is very smart and studious and not athletic and he was certainly bullied. The other was very athletic and cute to look at, but struggled in academics…he was bullied as well for not being smart. Go figure The hardest thing that we do is try to love our children well with minimal scars. I’ll certainly pray for you as you navigate the next part of yours and their path. One thing I always told my own children…take the high road because it is never crowded:)
Thank you so much Sanda. I love the words, take the high road, it’s less crowded. Please tell me your boys are grown and survived this brutiful part of childhood.
Colleen,
I feel for your boy, I wasn’t bullied like he is, but I too was made to feel like I was different for being smart and quiet. My parents helped me create a world at home for myself that filled me up to the brim, it didn’t make the words that were slung at school sting any less, but having these two positive adults who supported me and my interests helped me feel more accepted and grounded in who I really was at heart, and not the words they were saying. I hope and will pray that your family finds some peace, and that your boys realize how loved they are.
Alyssa, thank you. I do hope and pray I am giving my boys the best place to feel loved, accepted, the best place to be real and true to the wonderful amazing people they are. I tell them eveynight, they belong…to our family, each other as lobsters (boys are too!) and God. My own vulnerability is exposed is their hurt.
So beautiful, so wise, and so wonderful. You have such a gift, Glennon. Thank you for your honesty and wisdom. I’m proud to be a Monkee.
so, so amazingly wonderful ~ i could never have said it better myself !! thank you ! 🙂
Excellent! Excellent! I shared on Facebook and also used the picture for my profile pic (I hope that’s ok?!)
You are awesome. Thank you so much for putting into words exactly how I feel. What an awesome mother you are.
Dearest Glennon,
I didn’t comment when you posted but reading the comments made me want to say thanks for reposting this at such an important time. I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable and real in a public forum. It’s scary because people can be so mean sometimes. Thank you for being brave and saying what you have to say anyway. I am sending my love and support to you for your leadership and vision and kindness. Hugs!!! And whatever I can do for you, just ask and it will be done!
Karen
Thank you, Karen, for thanking her! You said what I thought – and you probably said it better=)
Love one another as I have loved you.
Rock on sister because we are standing next to you on that mountain with our arms open to whoever finds their way there.
Love wins.
Wonderful!!!
Oh Glennon, once again you have the right response. You have the words we all wish we were articulate enough to have ourselves.
Thank you for this.
Thank you thank you thank you!!!! BEAUTIFUL.
Wow. You just wrote what my heart’s been trying to get out on paper for such a long time. I live in an area people like to call “The Bible belt of Iowa”, and unfortunately there is far too much judging going on to ever really love people this way. So THANK you Glennon. Thank you for putting this out here. Couldn’t have written better myself!
As usual- SO VERY WELL SAID. 🙂
I want to applaud you for what you have written!!! Your words were amazingly written and true! I am not gay but my daughter has many many friends that are and i have gay friends. They are people just like us and have suffered some terrible things at the hands and mouths of others. Kudos to you for this letter!!!! I will definitely share this! Again, thank you for sharing. Hopefully your words will open up some eyes.
I have read and re-read this letter. I love EVERY word of it. You have just taken my thoughts and given them words. Thank You!
AMEN, Sister! Thank you, thank you, thank you, for always bringing me home to my faith and helping me realize that while I have not found my church, I will always have my faith & God.
Amazing!!
Thank you from the depths of my soul. I have struggled with this issue for months now as I wrestle with the words of the Bible and the truth in my heart that the gay people I know and don’t know are good. And loved. And deserve acceptance for who they are because God made them. I just started reading the Bible, and I was thrilled to begin accepting God at His word and really getting to know Him for the first time. And then I came upon the New Testament passages and I hit a wall. How could God be good but also create people in His image who He cannot accept? Oh, this had me stopped dead in my tracks. And I have been wrestling with this hard for a long time. The only thing that allowed me to even read the Bible again was thinking of the greatest commandment, just as you stated. Love. If I err on that side, rather than on the side of judgement, I hope to stand before Him one day and see Him smile at me. Your words and eloquence are an answer to my prayers for clarity. You and I struggled the same war and I am so darn thankful that you shared your triumph. It allows me to feel mine now.
Delightful, honest, wonderfully written
This is awesome! Everything I’ve been thinking/feeling you were able to put in words. Thank You! My son is only 2, but I’m saving it, in case we ever need it. I hope that’s ok. You have such a way with words. Incredible.
Absolutely fabulous. Thank you!! I think there is a special place in hell for people who use the bible and religion to justify their hateful and intolerant behaviors. If I had to label myself I’d say I’m agnostic but YOU are a Christian I could hang with.
THIS is the post that got me reading your blog in the first place. Thank you so much for reposting at this time – and hopefully turning point – in our history.
Also, I’d like to clarify that clearly, regardless of what the Bible says, one of the purposes of SEX is to procreate. If you think the ONLY purpose of sex is to procreate, then I have to wonder why you think God made it so darn enjoyable, and made so many different erogenous zones.
The purpose of MARRIAGE is to create a social and economic unit for whatever benefit that may have in the society of the day. Whether this is to encourage fidelity and discourage the spread of STDS, or to further a patriarchal society, it doesn’t matter. The history of the church at large tells us that in order to further the propagate the faith, the church HAD to encourage procreation.To encourage procreation and the patriarchal society that ruled at the time, it defined marriage as a man and a woman and gave that sacred status, but only because it could produce children (more minions of the faith).
I swear, some of you don’t think critically about what is being shoved down your throats at the pulpit, or the ulterior motives of the institution doing the shoving. If you still think priests should be celibate because they are married to the church, then you have already swallowed the koolaid and and are ignoring the history of the church itself. BTW, the tradition of celibate priests only materialized in order to preserve church assets from being inherited by their spouses and children. That’s the only reason.
Also, if any of you commentators think that just because someone CAN and DOES produce a child, that they are they most fit to raise them, you haven’t been paying attention. Read some science. It will do you good.
YOWZA!! OUCH! This comment stung me…
People of faith should not be judged for their faith, just as homosexuality should not be judged, just as you should not be judged. I think that when we speak, we need to “think critically” before we speak and understand how our words can impact others. This is the zinger that hurt me the most – “I swear, some of you don’t think critically about what is being shoved down your throats at the pulpit, or the ulterior motives of the institution doing the shoving.” – I think that you made some fantastic points however, I can’t help but sense anger behind some of your statements. I attend Church RELIGIOUSLY. I say religiously because, I am broken & in need of repair, like so many others who attend. Jesus brings me healing, Church brings me community. Going out into nature may do the same for somebody else. I think that when we rake everyone who may attend Church over the same set of coals, as though we are nothing more than brain washed idiots, your point some how loses it’s credibility. I believe like Glennon and you, that we all need to carefully weigh what we are taught. I believe that the true measuring stick in our lives is our heart. I measure my heart every minute of every day. I find that a good rule of thumb is that every finger I point outward, I quickly remember to turn back inward, this helps me keep the cobwebs to a minimum…this is something I learned from the bible and the pulpits. Speaking of God & his pulpits are holy & sacred to so many. I believe that when we speak of them, we need to carefully weigh what we say & how we say it.
Something to think about…
Blessings & Love.
Well said G. I am the mother of a gay son, and very proud of him. As those of you who wrap yourselves in bible verses and righteousness, know that I am the mother your children, male and female, come to when you reject them. I am the mother who holds them as they sob wondering how their own parents who told them they loved them now reject them. I am the mother they now send Mother’s Day cards to. I am the mother who loves them unconditionally and they know it. So maybe I should thank you for the richness your children have brought to my life.
You are a blessing. Love this: “So maybe I should thank you for the richness your children have brought to my life.”
And thank you for loving all those babies! I hope anyone who feels rejected gets the chance to find someone like you!
LOVE! This is perfection! Thank you Thank you!!
Yes, a thousand times, yes. Thank you. Glorious. I’ll give you credit when, 5 years from now I sit down with my son and cross out “Chase” and write in “Oliver.” Heavenly days, have you hit the nail on the head or what.
Love Wins. Always. I love this and had to share it on FB.
YES! Thank you for saying this, when I’m sure many will take issue with you saying what should be said. You are 100% correct.
And I’m sending yards and yards of emotional bubble wrap to protect you from the words that seem hurtful and harmful. Let us love one another. Love wins. We can do hard things – you did a hard thing just now by re-posting this. xoxoxox
This is a mountain I’m willing to die on too, G! And I have to selfishly say that this is one of the times I’m most proud of living in Canada where we have put this equality into legislation.
Oh Glennon,
Wrapping my arms around you after reading so many hurtful comments. Love wins! Thank you for your bravery. Just rest your head right here on my shoulder for a bit. And then Carry On Warrior!
Amen.
Thank you. Let us love one another.
You are a kindred spirit. With tears and laughter (“damn straight” was just pretty damn funny), thank you.
I always love reading this, and it always brings tears to my eyes!
If “it’s impossible to judge the original spirit of some scripture” and the original message has been twisted through the “telephone game” then what is the criteria for accepting some passages and not others? If there are mistakes, then isn’t the whole document suspect and unreliable?
I love Mother Teresa’s passion for helping people, but she is no where close to the authority of the Scripture, that is if you believe the Scripture is infallible and inerrant. Otherwise, I guess her opinion is as good as God’s in your estimation.
Clearly… you weren’t paying attention. She very plainly and pretty succinctly stated that the way she reads the Bible and the “rules” that chooses to follow are all based on what JESUS told us: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the two Great commandments that He gave us. All others fall behind that. If any rules/laws/commandments are not consistent with these two, then they should not be followed. This is demonstrated by Jesus Himself when He broke the commandment to keep the Sabbath holy when someone needed to be healed (re-read Mark… you’ll find it within the first couple of chapters). The Bible actually quite simply and transparently stated it.
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. God Bless You.
Well put! I know you get a lot of criticism from conservative Christians for your views at times, but as a conservative Christian I have to say I’d love to hear more things like what you’ve said here from the pulpit.
Amen!
This is seriously the most fantastic thing I’ve ever read about gay marriage, equality and Christianity. THANK YOU for such a wonderful article.
Bravo Glennon, Bravo! This is SO fantastic.
PS: We are all created in the image of GOD, yes… but, unfortunately, we are not all children of GOD.
Glennon,
As someone who is gay, with tears in my eyes, I just wanted to say thank you. I can’t even find any other words.
You are a fantastic mama.
Sandy
Sandy,
You have my support – I commented below you in another place but it was later so I don’t know if you ever saw it. I’m very sorry if some of these later comments were hurtful to you.
Please know that many Monkees support you – they just weren’t as vocal in this comment section. There are many more positive comments on the Facebook post of this blog link.
Monkee Love and Hugs to you,
Kerry
“carefully choose what we follow in the Bible”…..That is exactly the problem with society today. If it fits with what YOU want, YOU need, YOUR agenda for your life than that just makes it okay????? The BIBLE is NOT a menu! You cannot pick and choose what is right and what is wrong!!
“Happy those who seize your children and smash them against a rock.” (Psalm 137:9)
“Slaves, be subject to your masters with all reverence, not only to those who are good and equitable but also to those who are perverse.” (1 Peter 2:18)
the bible is a book. christianity is a religion. the bible is often ridiculous. religion is personal. religion is the interpretation of life. unless you also agree with he above quotations- your bible is your interpretation.(a menu)
More things on the “Menu” (that we’re supposed to consume without using our brains?)
Don’t let cattle graze with other kinds of Cattle (Leviticus 19:19)
Don’t have a variety of crops on the same field. (Leviticus 19:19)
Don’t wear clothes made of more than one fabric (Leviticus 19:19)
Don’t cut your hair nor shave. (Leviticus 19:27)
Any person who curseth his mother or father, must be killed. (Leviticus 20:9) Have you ever done that?
If a man cheats on his wife, or vise versa, both the man and the woman must die. (Leviticus 20:10). I wonder if Dr. Laura would like that one to be enforced?
If a man sleeps with his father’s wife… both him and his father’s wife is to be put to death. (Leviticus 20:11)
If a man sleeps with his wife and her mother they are all to be burnt to death. (Leviticus 20:14)
If a man or woman has sex with an animal, both human and animal must be killed. (Leviticus 20:15-16). I guess you should kill the animal since they were willing participants. Are they crazy?
If a man has sex with a woman on her period, they are both to be “cut off from their people” (Leviticus 20:18)
Psychics, wizards, and so on are to be stoned to death. (Leviticus 20:27)
If a priest’s daughter is a whore, she is to be burnt at the stake. (Leviticus 21:9)
People who have flat noses, or is blind or lame, cannot go to an altar of God (Leviticus 21:17-18)
Anyone who curses or blasphemes God, should be stoned to death by the community. (Leviticus 24:14-16)
Leviticus is not a problem at all. The problem is the cherry picking of verses without any context.
Interested in context? Want to actually understand why Levitcus is not the book that some folks hope will cause all Christians to run from the Bible and their faith because of it’s outdated rules and regulations?
http://carm.org/leviticus-homosexuality-old-testament-law
All those scriptures are from the OLD Testiment. When Christ died for us all, he put away the old law and instated a new one.. the NEW TESTIMENT. We are not under the old Jewish laws anymore, so your argument with those scriptures is invalid. Try again…
DebC: 1 Cor 11: 5 -6 and Eph 6: 5-6 and Matt 5:32 immediately come to mind.
And 2 Tim 3:16 speaks to “all scripture” being inspired/God-breathed, so how can you rule out the OT? Seems like you’re doing some picking and choosing yourself….
Speaking of Leviticus, here’s another one:
18:22 Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.
Okay, if that IS the case then the verse “thou shall not kill” can be interpreted anyway we want, right?? Does that mean it IS okay to kill as long as we have good reason because God was not specific on what we should not kill. He could have been talking about trees for all we know!
Yes, and since “thou shalt not kill” is in the Old Testament, under this tortured reasoning it doesn’t apply anymore.
Actually, Hebrew has different words for “kill” and “murder” — just as US law has different standards for murder, manslaughter, and homicide.
The proscription is against murder — premeditated intentional taking of another’s life. The proscription is not against killing entirely, or else everybody who accidentally caused someone’s death would be as responsible as a mad man who conspires for weeks to slaughter an enemy he knows is innocent of any wrongdoing.
I wish more ancient Hebrew and Greek were stressed in the churches and among Christians than is the case these days. It would clear up a lot of misunderstandings, especially among unbelievers.
Old testament, New testament…….The Bible is the Bible is the Bible. If the Old testament wasn’t important, why did and why do they still put the two together??? If a person is BORN with a very impatient personality and lashes out at their spouse and kids every chance they get, is that okay??? I mean they were BORN that way. God made them that way, right? WRONG!! We all have our crosses to bear in life! The person with the impatience needs to really really work to fight that sin and they need to seek God to help them. Hate the sin, not the sinner.
G, the love you show to your son is beautiful, however, we as parents should always seek to lead our children’s SOULS to heaven!! This life is only temporary, this is the dress rehearsal for eternity. What we do on earth will be judged by God when we die. We need to lead our children AWAY from sin, otherwise we are just as guilty! Hate the sin, not the sinner!!
Actually… yes she can, and it is the ORIGINAL intent of Jesus for us to do just that and therefore NOT the problem with many Christians today. I’ll restate it, since clearly several people were not paying attention:
She very plainly and pretty succinctly stated that the way she reads the Bible and the “rules” that chooses to follow are all based on what JESUS instructed us to do: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself. These are the two Great commandments that He gave us. All others fall behind that. If any rules/laws/commandments are not consistent with these two, then they should not be followed (again, according to JESUS). This is demonstrated by Jesus Himself when He broke the commandment to keep the Sabbath holy when someone needed to be healed (re-read Mark… you’ll find it within the first couple of chapters). The Bible actually quite simply and transparently states it.
Cherry-picking for all the wrong reasons is what you, your “followers” on this comment feed, and many other backward “Christians” seem to be doing…
I don’t think you are paying very good attention, to be honest! It has been stated numerous times “hate the SIN, not the SINNER”!!!!!! Christians do not hate the mothers who abort their babies, the husband who cheats on his wife, OR the homosexual who acts out homosexual behavior. Speak the truth to them, help them, love them, pray for them, help guide them down the correct path! THAT IS LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU DO YOURSELF!!!!! AND if you do your research, you will find MANY homosexuals who DO NOT act on it because they know God’s truth.
Thank you. This is beautiful. I will be sharing your words over and over again.