Along with every other concerned parent, I watch America’s responses to bullying-related suicides closely. People always seem quite shocked by the cruelty that’s happening in America’s schools. I’m baffled by their shock, and I’m concerned about what’s not being addressed in their proposed solutions.
The acceptable response seems to be that we should better educate students and teachers about what bullying is and how to react to it appropriately. This plan is positive, certainly. But on its own, it seems a little like bailing frantically without first looking for the hole in the boat.
Each time these stories are reported, the sound bite is: “kids can be so cruel.” This is something we tend to say: kids these days, they can be so cruel. But I think this is just a phrase we toss around to excuse ourselves from facing the truth. I don’t think kids are any crueler than adults. I just think kids are less adept at disguising their cruelty.
I heard a radio report that students who are most likely to be bullied are gay kids, overweight kids, and Muslim kids.
Hmmmmm.
I bet that at this point in American history, gay adults, overweight adults, and Muslim adults feel the most bullied as well.
Children are not cruel. Children are mirrors. They want to be “grownup,” so they act how grown-ups act when we think they’re not looking. They do not act how we tell them to act at school assemblies. They act how we really act. They believe what we believe. They say what we say. And we have taught them that gay people are not okay. That overweight people are not okay. That Muslim people are not okay. That they are not equal. That they are to be feared. And people hurt the things they fear. We know that. What they are doing in the schools, what we are doing in the media—it’s all the same. The only difference is that children bully in the hallways and the cafeterias while we bully from behind pulpits and legislative benches and sitcom one-liners.
People are sensitive. People are heartbreakingly sensitive. If enough people tell someone over and over that he is not okay, he will believe it. And one way or another, he will die.
So how is any of this surprising? It’s quite predictable, actually. It’s trickle-down cruelty.
I don’t know much. But I know that each time I see something heartbreaking on the news, each time I encounter a problem outside, the answer to the problem is inside. The problem is always me and the solution is always me. If I want my world to be less vicious, then I must become more gentle. If I want my children to embrace other children for who they are, to treat other children with the dignity and respect every child of God deserves, then I had better treat other adults the same way. And I better make sure that my children know beyond a shadow of a doubt that in God’s and their father’s and my eyes, they are okay. They are loved as they are. Without a single unless. Because the kids who bully are those who are afraid that a secret part of themselves is not okay. To that end, I wrote this letter to my son:
Dear Chase,
Whoever you are, whoever you become, you are loved. You are a miracle. You are our dream come true. 
Chase, here is what would happen in our home if one day you were to tell your father and me that you are gay.
Our eyes would open wide.
Then we would grab you and hold you tighter than you would be able to bear. And while we were holding you, we would say a silent prayer that as little time as possible passed between the moment you knew you were gay and the moment you told us. And we would love you and ask you one million questions, and then we would love you some more and finally, I would rush out to buy some rainbow T-shirts, honey, because you know Mama likes to have an appropriate outfit for every occasion.
And I don’t mean, Chase, that we would be tolerant of you and your sexuality. If our goal is to be tolerant of people who are different than we are, Chase, then we really are aiming quite low. Traffic jams are to be tolerated. People are to be celebrated. Every person is Divine. And so there would be celebrating. Celebrating that you had stepped closer to matching your outsides with your insides—to being who you are. And there would be a teeny part of my heart that would leap at the realization that I would forever be the most important woman in your life. Then we would tell everyone. We would not concern ourselves too much with their reactions. There will always be party poopers, baby.
Honey, we’ve worried that since we are Christians, and since we love the Bible so much, there might come a day when you feel unclear about our feelings about this, since there are parts in the Bible that appear to discuss homosexuality as a sin. Let us be clear about how we feel, because we have spent years of research and prayer and discussion deciding.
Chase, we don’t believe that homosexuality is a sin. The Bible was inspired by God, but it was written, translated, and interpreted by imperfect people just like us. This means that the passing of this sacred scripture from generation to generation and from culture to culture has been a bit like the “telephone game” you play at school. After thousands of years, it’s impossible to judge the original spirit of some scripture. We believe that when in doubt, mercy triumphs judgment. So your parents are Christians who study and pray and then carefully choose what we follow in the Bible, based on whether or not it matches our understanding of Jesus’s overall message. Certainly we make mistakes. Everyone does. But it’s our duty to try. We must each work out our own faith with fear and trembling. It’s the most important thing we’ll ever do. Even so, some folks will tell you that our approach to Christianity is scandalous and blasphemous. But honey, the only thing that’s scandalous about this approach is admitting it out loud. The truth is that every Christian is a Christian who chooses what he follows in the Bible.
Recently there was some talk in my Bible study about homosexuality being sinful. I quoted Mother Teresa and said, “When we judge people we have no time to love them.” I was immediately reprimanded for my blasphemy by a woman who reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6:9–10. But I was confused because this woman was speaking. In church. And she was also wearing a necklace. And I could see her hair, baby. She had no head covering. All of which are sooooo totally against the New Testament Bible Rules. And so I assumed that she had decided not to follow the parts of the Bible that limited her particular freedoms, but to hold fast to the parts that limit the freedoms of others. I didn’t point this out at the time, because she wasn’t a bad person. People are doing the best they can, mostly. It’s best not to embarrass anyone.
Much of the Bible is confusing, but the most important parts aren’t. Sometimes I wonder if folks keep arguing about the confusing parts so they don’t have to get started doing the simple parts. So a long time ago, your father and I decided that if a certain scripture turns our judgment outward instead of inward, if it requires us to worry about changing others instead of ourselves, if it doesn’t help us become better lovers of God and life and others, if it distracts us from what we are supposed to be doing down here—finding God in everyone, feeding hungry people, comforting the sick and the sad, giving whatever we have to give, and laying down our lives for our friends—then we assume we don’t understand it yet, and we get back to what we do understand. Chase, what we do understand is that we are reborn. And here is what I believe it means to be reborn:
The first time you’re born, you identify the people in the room as your family. The second time you’re born, you identify the whole world as your family. Christianity is not about joining a particular club; it’s about waking up to the fact that we are all in the same club. Every last one of us. So avoid discussions about who’s in and who’s out at all costs. Everybody’s in, baby. That’s what makes it beautiful. And hard. If working out your faith is not beautiful and hard, find a new one to work out. And if spiritual teachers are encouraging you to fear anyone, watch them closely, honey. Raise your eyebrow and then your hand. Because the phrase repeated most often in that Bible they quote is Do Not Be Afraid. So when they tell you that gay people are a threat to marriage, honey, think hard.
I can only speak from my personal experience, but I’ve been married for ten years and barely any gay people have tried to break up my marriage. I say barely any because that Nate Berkus is a little shady. I am defenseless against his cuteness and eye for accessories. He is always convincing me to buy beautiful trinkets with our grocery money, and this drives your sweet father a bit nuts. So you might want to keep your eye on Berkus. But with the exception of him, I’m fairly certain that the only threats to your father’s and my marriage are our pride, insecurity, anger, and wanderlust. Do not be afraid of people who seem different from you, baby. Different always turns out to be an illusion. Look hard.
Chase, God gave you the Bible, and he also gave you your heart and your mind, and I believe he’d like you to use all three. It’s a good system of checks and balances he designed. Prioritizing can still be hard, though. Jesus predicted that. So he gave us this story: A man approached Jesus and said that he was very confused by all of God’s laws and directions and asked Jesus to break it down for him. He asked, “What are the most important laws?” And Jesus said, “Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love others as yourself.” He added that every other scripture hangs on this one. So use that ultimate command as a lens to examine all other scripture. And make damn sure that you are offering others the same rights and respect that you expect for yourself. If you do that, you can’t go wrong.
Chase, you are okay. You are a child of God. As is everyone else. There is nothing that you have done or will do that will make God love you any more or any less. Nothing that you already are or will become is a surprise to God. Tomorrow has already been approved.
And so, baby, your father and I have only one expectation of you. And that is that you celebrate others the way we celebrate you. That you remember, every day, every minute, that there is no one on God’s Green Earth who deserves more or less respect than you do, My Love.
“He has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”—Mica 6:8
Love, Mama
PS. We thought we should mention, honey, that if you’re straight, that’s okay too. I mean, it’d be a little anticlimactic now, honestly. But your father and I will deal.
PPS. As Daddy read this, I watched his gorgeous face intensify. He teared up a little. Then he slammed the letter down on the kitchen table and said emphatically and without a touch of irony, “DAMN STRAIGHT.” Which, when you think about it, is really the funniest thing Daddy could have said.
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So, I stole a little piece of this for my Facebook page. Seemed too perfect not to share. I credited you, of course, and directed them here. The world needs more monkees.
I wanted to submit to you a Declaration of Marriage from a Biblical view -we must ALWAYS love people and preach the Gospel, but we must not water down the truth of His Word. We are living in a day and age where politically Christianity is certainly what the Bible warned of as the end draws near. I would encourage everyone to go back to the truth of His Word. It is not a living and breathing document that changes with the day and the age. His words and commandments are true no matter our circumstances, societal views or personal perspectives.
Protecting Biblical Marriage
Principles to Unite, Focus and Ground Us
During This Precarious Season
25th of June in the Year of Our Lord 2008
1. God loves all people, therefore we love all people, and we will do so regardless of how some view
or define themselves sexually. We choose to love those who, for whatever reason, have chosen to
involve themselves in homosexual or other unbiblical sexual activity. Authentic inclusivity means
loving all persons, without the need to compromise biblical integrity. We openly welcome into our
lives as friends and into our churches those who are struggling with same-sex attraction or who are
entrenched in that lifestyle, with a sincere hope that they might turn to Christ and be transformed, and
join with all of us in the process of being ever more conformed to the truth of the Bible. Genuine,
biblically-founded tolerance means not only that we must love those who are actively involved in the
homosexual lifestyle, but would include them loving us, without placing demands upon us to
renounce our biblical convictions. We are open to meaningful, loving, non-inflammatory dialogue.
Our primary question to the homosexual agenda advocates is “will you coach us on how to talk with
you in a non-condescending way which both values you and allows us not to violate our biblical
convictions?”
2. The Bible defines marriage as a covenantal union of one male and one female, which provides
the foundation for healthy, whole family life. God’s Word is unabashedly resolute regarding this.
We will avoid unproductive arguments with those who, through the use of casuistry and
rationalization, revise biblical passages in order to condone the practice of homosexuality or other
sexual sins. Biblical texts assert, and contemporary sociological research confirms, that maximal
sexual fulfillment occurs within one man-one woman monogamous, covenantal relationships.
Biblical texts assert, and biology confirms that procreation, the sustaining of the human race, occurs
exclusively within the male-female union. Furthermore, boys and girls need and deserve to have a
daddy and a mommy who love each other and who are committed to each other in marriage. God
established marriage between Adam, a male, and Eve, a female, as the pattern for all time. Marriage
of a man and woman was established by God at the beginning of creation. Jesus assumed and
positively affirmed this standard. Historic, orthodox Christianity has affirmed this for two millennia.
3. While the Bible may not address sexual orientation, it does, however, clearly address sexual
actions. We are not surprised by, nor unsympathetic toward those who are confused and/or struggling
with their sexuality. We all live in a fallen world and the effects of sin are multifaceted. But sexual
actions, choices and practices are to be holy and pure before God. Biblically understood and Godhonoring
sexual expression is reserved for one man and one woman in a monogamous, covenantal,
life-long marriage. We will not expend endless energy debating what people claim they “are”
(homosexual). We focus instead on what persons choose to “do” (homosexual acts). With that
established, it is inappropriate to compare homosexual marriage to interracial marriages. Race is a
fact of birth. A homosexual act is that – an act. Acts involve choices.
4. We choose to be Christ-like even when we are falsely accused and slandered. When accused by
those who reject God’s truth, we will, by God’s grace, boldly continue to work diligently and
faithfully for the Bible’s definition of marriage, while responding truthfully in love to those who
choose to criticize. “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Prov. 15:1).
With Christ’s patient help, we shall attempt to evidence “a gentle answer” to all.
5. As the Church, we repent of our nation’s moral condition. Blame shifting is not allowed on the
part of Bible believing Christians. The reason for our present dilemma is not ultimately assertive and
demanding homosexuals, or biblically ignorant judges, or even a scripturally devoid electorate. It is
ultimately a spiritually impotent church, which through failure to adequately teach and model
authentic Christianity, allowed and caused ungodly persons to be elected, who in turn selected
unbiblical judges. We repent of our apathy, our lethargy and our spiritual ineffectiveness. Our
coming together is, in part, a statement of repentance regarding our competitiveness and disunity. We
declare our unity in Christ. Each of us must leave our ego and logo “at the door.”
6. Ultimately, we cry out for spiritual renewal in our state, nation and world. Winning a defense of
marriage vote is of prime importance in the short term. But long term spiritual renewal, revival and
evangelism are ultimately the answer, and are the reason for which we band together. While the
church is the force for righteousness in the culture, its ultimate purpose is to glorify God by bringing
persons into relationship with the Father.
7. We refuse the false choice between spiritual and temporal means, since both are used to advance
Christ’s Kingdom. While we will diligently urge persons who understand truth to register and vote,
we give ourselves to teaching the Word (including the topic of marriage), the sacraments, prayer,
fasting, intercession, personal holy living, and the standard Christian disciplines. We may vote
Republican, Democrat or Independent, but ultimately we belong to the “Jesus Party.” We function
within existing political parties for the exclusive reason of having the greatest biblical impact on the
culture as possible.
8. We repent of our failure to adequately and effectively protect biblical, heterosexual marriage.
The divorce rate is an abomination to God, a curse on the world and nation, and is an anathema to us.
We repent of our failure to adequately sanctify marriages in a way that would cause them to endure
the pressures of daily temptations and duress.
9. Being approved by persons is not to be valued over the conformity to God’s will, ways and
Word. Succinctly stated, we will not be people pleasers. We choose to be bold, yet loving; firm, yet
compassionate. We will not be intimidated by the attacks of those who oppose biblical marriage,
whether they are the government, the media or those who violate biblical, sexual purity. We
understand that political correctness and biblical integrity are incompatible. While we cannot attend
or participate in so-called homosexual “marriage” ceremonies, we do and can affirm the value of all
persons, and we fully understand the difference. We unashamedly distinguish between that which
might be called “marriage” by civil authorities, and that which was established as marriage by God in
his Word. In terms of historical sequence, God established marriage, under his Sovereign direction,
long before matrimony was recognized by the state.
10. By God’s strength and grace, we will be faithful… to the end. With Christ’s abiding presence and
by the Spirit’s enabling power, we will walk in faithfulness and unity, while demonstrating endurance
that will be pleasing to God. We envision victory in reestablishing the sanctity of one man-one
woman marriage in our world. If, in the process, we are persecuted for remaining true to God’s Word,
we will endure. We will never abandon His Word. We will never capitulate or compromise. If we
are harassed, jailed, imprisoned, driven underground or even killed, we will be found worthy of
joining the saints and martyrs who have gone before us. Whether here or in the world to come, due to
our unswerving dedication to our heavenly Father, His Word, and to our King and Savior Jesus, we
shall overcome.
Our Solemn Agreement, June 25, 2008
© James L. Garlow
Permission is granted for this to be copied and circulated, providing proper credit is given.
Wow…I have so much to say, and not enough time to say it. I wish the 2 of us could sit down and talk about this face to face.
“We openly welcome into our lives as friends and into our churches those who are struggling with same-sex attraction or who are entrenched in that lifestyle, with a sincere hope that they might turn to Christ and be transformed…”
-I’m not “struggling, and I could never, ever be transformed. Just like you could never be “transformed” into being gay.
I do not have a “homosexual agenda”. I’d just like to marry the woman I love.
“A homosexual act is that – an act. Acts involve choices.”
-This is NOT true. Did you choose to be straight? No, probably not. Just like I did not “choose to be gay”.
“Furthermore, boys and girls need and deserve to have a daddy and a mommy who love each other and who are committed to each other in marriage.”
-Don’t children deserve to have loving parents, regardless of whether it is just a Mom, just a Dad, 2 Moms, 2 Dads, a Mom and a Dad, grandparents, a guardian, etc? There is absolutely NO evidence that supports the notion that children raised in same sex households grow up any differently than children of heterosexual parents.
I wish I had more time to address your post. But I hope you consider what I have said.
An “act” IS most definitely a choice, Sandee. Are you saying you have no control over what you do with your body? I doubt it. YOU are in control and your acts are indeed choices. We choose sin all the time, myself included. When we acknowledge this and ask forgiveness, we are able to become more perfectly aligned with Christ and his perfect love.
So I can be gay, just not have gay sex????
Also, I am not a Christian, so I don’t need Christ to do anything for me.
Which brings me to my next point. Why do non-Christians have to suffer because Christians don’t believe in something? Why I can’t live my life and you live your life???
“So I can be gay, just not have gay sex???”
Yes, that is what most ‘anti-gay’ churches teach. No one should be having sex outside of marriage. No hookup culture, no live in girlfriends, no ‘you wouldn’t buy a car without taking it for a test drive’, no ‘committed long term relationships’. Combine that with a belief that God made humankind, split it into male and female and then created marriage to bring them back together, no sex outside of marriage means no homosexual sex at all.
“So I can be gay, just not have gay sex?”
Yes, that is exactly right, SanDee. This is hard for people to comprehend because it sounds impossible, but we’re not used to doing VERY hard things, in my opinion. Coming from someone who experiences same-sex attraction, I believe that God’s perfect plan for me is one of a chaste life. Giving in to the homosexual temptations would be sinful, and I struggle daily to turn away from sin. Is it hard? You bet your hiney, it is. But, Jesus Christ, my Savior did something immeasurably harder. He suffered an unspeakable death for me, so that I might have the opportunity to be united with Him for all of salvation. I can I NOT try to thank him in a small way bu living as He asked me to? He also told us it would be hard, and I take comfort in the fact that He is with in every moment of my struggles. Now, to me, this is absolutely no different than the heterosexual couple who decides to have sexual intercourse before they take the vow of matrimony. God wants the gift of sex to take place in a marriage, and He made it quite clear to us that a marriage is between a man and a woman. We know that because, by His PERFECT design, he made sex, both love-giving AND life-giving. The two are never to be separated. To do so is to sin. Hugs and blessings to you, SanDee.
Rachel,
I’m really sorry that you can’t be who you are because of your religious beliefs.
You’re missing out on a life of love and happiness, and that makes me very sad for you.
That’s discrimination!
“That’s discrimination!” was meant for Monika.
And, I really wouldn’t buy a car taking it for a test drive. That’d be silly. 🙂
Sandee, I am sorry that you can’t fathom that I AM who I want to be because I am following God’s plan for me!!! Because I don’t engage in homosexual relations even though I am tempted to doesn’t make me ANY less of an authentic human being than someone who feels compelled to steal, lie, cheat, or commit any other sin, and yet resists it. And I’m very sorry for you that you may be jeopardizing eternal salvation because you see the pleasures of this world as more important. And, believe it or not, my life is brimming over with love and happiness BECAUSE I do not give in to my temptations. Do not be sad for me because I am chaste. The idea that I could somehow be more fulfilled by taking part in immoral behavior is completely ridiculous to me, actually. Additionally, even if I were unhappy, I firmly believe that our culture places FAR too much importance on the idea of happiness at all costs. It’s become incredibly destructive to us. I spend a good deal of time praying for the souls of the people who have fallen into way of thinking.
I’m hearing you say that you’re not a Christian, and you don’t “need Christ to do anything for you”, as you said. But, what you’re not understanding is that just because you have your eyes closed to the Truth at this time in your life, doesn’t mean that Christ (and other Christians!) will ever stop trying to save your soul. His love is so endless and perfectly unconditional that He will NEVER give up on you, regardless of whether you think you “need” anything from Him. And, *good* Christians will continue to lovingly help you to see the sin of your ways, so that we may all be together in Heaven, friend. Because, it’s not about us not wanting you to get something that you want, it’s about helping you to get something that you need: salvation. Blessings to you, SanDee.
Please do further research regarding moms and dads. God made major differences… he is the creator of man and woman… it doesn’t just stop when the egg is fertilized. Every person has experienced the differences females have from males. God creator of the family, says “man” and “woman”. I believe you have the urges for your same sex. I don’t think you would try willfully to do something so difficult as to buck nature. People are born with defective bodies every day. This doesn’t exclude us from reading God’s Living Word and accepting it and have a full and complete relationship with the Lord. That is His plan for your life. Someone who had a horrible accident as a teenager is Joni Eereckson Tada. For 45 years she has been a paraplegic. She so loves the Lord! If you want some real truth as to how to live your life for the Lord… check her out on the internet! Love, and praying for your being open for the Lord’s guidance in the life He gave to you!
First, my body is not defective. There’s nothing wrong with my brain. I can’t, and don’t need to be “fixed”.
Did God speak to you personally and tell you that he said “man” and “woman”? I doubt it.
I did not choose to be gay. That’s how I was born.
I urge you to do more research, real research, not backed by someone with an agenda, to get info on children with gay parents. Maybe talk to some!
SanDee,
I did not choose to have a VERY impatient personality, I was born that way. God made me that way! But is it okay for me to lash out to my spouse and kids every chance I get?? Absolutely not!! I am a sinner! I seek God’s word and am in continuous conversation with Him throughout my day so he can help me overcome this sin. We all have our crosses to bear in life! Just like I DO NOT hate the mother who aborts her baby, I DO NOT hate those who are gay. Hate the sin, not the sinner!
You being impatient and feeling like you want to lash out at your spouse and kids is NOT comparable to me being gay.
But, since you want to make that comparison, I’m sorry that you want to lash out at your family every chance you get. That must be hard.
I’m in a very happy gay relationship, and don’t want to lash out at my girlfriend, ever. It’s awesome.
I don’t believe the word WANT was in my last response. Looks like you might have added that 😉 I would never WANT to take my struggle with patience out on my family members. God bless!
SanDee,
You have my support.
I’m very sorry for any hurt all these comments have caused you.
You are NOT defective!
I’ve tried to reply to you a couple times and my comment wasn’t showing up but I really want you to know you have another ally here so I’m going to try one more time.
Love and support to you,
Kerry
Sandy,
I just want you to know that I support you and your right to marry the woman that you love. I am a straight woman, so I could never claim to know how you feel or otherwise. I think that most people who are straight and christian have a hard time trying get their point across, because even though they think they are being loving it doesn’t always come off that way. And I think they are also in the position to have never had to experience what it is like to actually be gay and they don’t really want to listen to take the time to understand you. I think whether it is a sin or not, that if Jesus were here today that he would take time to sit with you and listen to you and to love you. And that is what any other christian should being doing instead of trying to prove to you why you are wrong and they are right. Sending Monkee Love to you !
Leslie, thank you SO much. That means a lot!
Sending Monkee love right back!
It isn’t saying they want to transform you from being gay, but to become a Christian, being transformed to be more like God. It’s Bible talk and I could see how if you aren’t a part of that culture it could come across as wanting to change your orientation, but I really think he was saying that they don’t want orientation to get in the way of being being transformed by getting to know/believe/trust in Jesus.
I see. Thanks for clarifying.
Say what? The bible defines marriage as the union of one man and one woman you say? Are you kidding? Might want to take another look…King Solomon had hundreds of wives, all perfectly legal. What about the bible saying marriage is required when a man rapes an unmarried virgin? What about the bible stories where slaves are raped to provide children for infertile couples? I wouldn’t invoke the “biblical” definition of marriage as support for the position that gay marriage is immoral.
Your ignorance of the Bible is detestable and heart breaking.
YOU are detestable and heartbreaking.
Christianity: you’re not doing it right. :/
Jen, the fact that in your opening statement you talk about the fact that the Bible is not a living, breathing document that changes makes it very hard to take the rest of your post seriously. Which version of the Bible do you read? There are hundreds of them, and they have often reflected the sensibilities of the time in which they were translated. There have been dozens of variations even of the King James version. Some of the variations in the text are even attributable to the printers themselves, user error. Or perhaps you are a scholar of languages, reading it in the original Hebrew (and Aramaic and Greek), in which case I suppose I’d give you a pass.
I have a question because I have yet to see a Bible passage that uses the words
“man”,
“woman”
and
“marriage”
in the same sentence or verse.
Is there one?
Matthew 19:4-6
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Ummmm, hate to be picky but I think the challenge made was to find man, woman and marriage in the same sentence or verse. Not two different books of the bible. This is from a straight, middle aged mother who cannot for the life of me figure out why people say they are allowed to be cruel and intolerant of others because a book tells them they are allowed to be. I think that is not Christlike at all.
I just threw the second one on there. The first one sums it up fine. You can be picky if you want. It’s fine. The essence is there.
I have never been cruel or intolerant of a homosexual in my life. I have friends and family that are homosexuals. I treat them with love and respect. Seriously. If not celebrating homosexuality / calling it sin makes you perceive me as cruel and intolerant, then I’m guilty as charged.
If I was to say that lying was wrong, would you say that it makes me intolerant and judgmental? Probably not, because you likely agree with me on that moral issue. Would it be unChristlike for me to tell my kids not to lie, even if it’s natural for them? Even if I love them unconditionally?
I believe I can make a judgement about a behavior based on my understanding and world view without condemning a person or being cruel.
Christ told people he loved them, forgave them, and told them to go and sin no more. He has been appointed judge, not me. and I will be accountable for the sin in my life just as homosexuals will in theirs.
Why would God say… he hates sin and tell us in his Word what he considers “sin” so clearly… if we were to “only just love people” not have an action toward sin? As Christians we can discern what the Lord wants and be able to pray clearly for people. Remember how God had man kill people in the Bible for being so sinful? Among the sins mentioned by God was homosexuality. He sent Jesus into the world to die for our sins… but we must personally accept Christ as our personal Savior for the Holy Spirit to come into our heart and be born again. I accept Christ’s gift 33 years ago. There was no denying that he filled the hole that was in my heart before I told Him I needed and wanted Him. In all my years as a Christian I have never believed that it was okay to be gay or be an adulterer etc. I have been an adulterer though ( even after accepting Christ as my Savior) …. It was wrong… I knew it was wrong and praise the Lord I asked forgiveness and He has given it. To live as a homosexual or an adulterer and expect God to ignore it and accept it well…. I don’t believe you will live with him in eternity … he says you will live separated from him in eternity… he clearly reveals this in the Bible as hell. IT IS OUR CHOICE… just like accepting Jesus … or living as a homosexual with no regards to God’s living Word. Love you all and want to spend eternity with you and God together. Our days are short… eternity is forever. Choice is easy…. God! God wants everybody’s love… being willfully sinful is NOT LOVING GOD!
I agree one billion percent, JoAnn.
And also, this:
https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/521314_348195321948312_1681441238_n.jpg
God bless you, sister. Stay strong in your faith, and in the whole word of God.
Barf.
Again. Christianity: you’re doing it wrong.
As the mother of a little boy, I love this letter, and I applaud it, and I am so glad it’s out there, and it makes me want to hug you, and also to write one just like it (with a few variations 🙂 to our son.
As a rabbi, I also love this letter, and I applaud it, and I am so glad it’s out there. Thank you for bearing witness to your way of engaging with Scripture, which happens to be very like mine, too.
Oh, goodness. I truly believe that the “as long as you’re happy” culture that we’re living in is destroying our children. Loving our brothers and sisters who experience same-sex attraction is of utmost importance. This can NOT be emphasized enough! But, as Christians, closing your eyes to truth revealed in the Bible on the subject of homosexuality is immensely destructive to all of us. Jesus didn’t talk about gay marriage in the Gospels because he didn’t need to. It was accepted as immoral. Jesus did in fact speak out about marital abuses (If you divorce your spouse and marry another, you commit adultery… also spoke to the woman who had been married multiple times) Jesus spoke out for the oppressed so presumably if gays were being oppressed by not being allowed to marry, Jesus would have said something. But to claim Jesus never said anything about gay marriage at all is not true because the Bible speaks out against homosexual activity, the Bible is the inspired Word of God, and Jesus is God, so yes… Jesus had plenty to say about homosexual activity (and other types of grave sin, certainly committed by heterosexuals and people who suffer from same sex attraction.)
Right is right even if nobody is doing it and wrong is wrong even if everybody is doing it.
Yes, Anna, YES! It’s always about children, and to realize this, it takes a much less selfish approach than many are capable of.
“To legalize marriage between two people of the same sex would enshrine in the law the principle that mothers and fathers are interchangeable or irrelevant, and that marriage is essentially an institution about adults, NOT children; marriage would mean nothing more than giving adults recognition and benefits in their most significant relationship.”
-San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileon
So…any marriage that does not result in children is irrelevant? So infertile couples, persons over 55, and heterosexual couples that choose not to procreate should be banned from marriage? We should probably pass laws against single-parent households, too, in that case. To say that marriages are strictly for procreation is to reduce humans to breeding pairs. How narrow-minded to assume my only purpose is to breed.
Chelsea, those who are infertile or who otherwise CANNOT procreate are the exception to the rule in heterosexual marriages. But that is the RULE and not the exception in homosexual relationships. I’m sorry that you consider God’s idea of marriage as narrow-minded. But He makes it quite clear to us that the purpose of marriage is to procreate. This is not my opinion, but God’s truth. Like I said, it takes a very selfless approach to the subject to be able to fully understand.
But what about the establishment clause???
I’m in awe of your ability to continue to share when it’s not always welcomed kindly. I think it’s pretty clear that nothing is clear haha. We truly will never know until we die, and even then, maybe we still won’t know. Thanks for doing what you do.
I wish I had time to read all of the comments but suspect I would get emotional. All I need to say is Amen..This line in particular is the best I’ve read in a long time: Chase, God gave you the Bible, and he also gave you your heart and your mind, and I believe he’d like you to use all three. It’s a good system of checks and balances he designed.
Thank you
Beautiful letter to your son, G. I will love my son forever, and at 12 he says that he is not gay (because I have asked, because I want him to be proud of himself) – but if he were to come out, I would love him. If he never does, I will love him. You are funny as hell, and yet a very committed woman. I adore you. Thank you. xo
People, Lets talk about this…when you have a gay son or daughter or relative. When you a feminine son from childhood or a masculine daughter from childhood. A child who is born a hermaphrodite ( having both male and female organs– leading to a transgender teenager) Lets talk about this when you really understand W.W.J.D. I don’t believe he would argue…period. I know he would of shown love to the transgender boy, the gay couple or the person with lepracy. He LOVED all people. He didn’t go around telling people how the were wrong, but how they were loved. I choose the be a follower of Christ, not a Christian…because most of Christianity is hypocracy at it’s best.
The first time I read this post, I just about fell out of my seat. Of course the first time I read this post was a while back. I have NEVER liked the way that we as Christians treat homosexuals and it has always bothered me. I have no real reason for this to bother me, it isn’t like I have close gay friends or family members. But it bothers me immensely! So when you wrote this I was at first shocked confused etc on how you came to these conclusions, but it made me think. I have always believed that everyone should have equal rights, because our constitution says so, very clearly. I believe that we as Christians are very fortunate and blessed to be able to worship freely without persecution and that we should NOT be persecuting others. Today I finally got the courage to post on my Facebook page my feelings about gay marriage and equality and loving others. I shook for quite awhile afterword. But in an effort to BE THE CHANGE I WANT TO SEE IN THIS WORLD, I mustered up the courage to hit post. Glennon, you helped me to have that courage and I thank you. I so hope to make it to BAM on Tuesday to meet you and thank you in person!
Wow, some of the best ever! Thank you … I will use this, if I may, in a forthcoming Bible Study.
Love it! If I read it a million times I would love it more everytime.
Love you, thank you for taking the heat to post & re-post this. I am sharing on my FB because I think it is so brilliant. <3 Warrior On, sweet G!
This is disturbing. On so many levels.
Here’s the real question: Did Jesus love the Pharisees? Or did he only love the ones who knew he was their only option for redemption?
Because if Jesus loved the Pharisees and the Sadducees and those who screamed “crucify him!” — if he, in fact, loved the whole world — then the things he said to them were harsh, but they were still love. He called them a den of vipers, children of their father the Devil, murderers in their hearts. Ouch. But did he hate them, or love them so much that their sin was a personal pain to himself? Did he hate them, or did he love them so passionately, so furiously, so ferociously, that any marr or imperfection within them was intolerable to his heart?
The Bible says we’re to walk in holiness, to “put on” Jesus’ justification and speak the truth with love. Jesus did that. He didn’t pull punches, he didn’t dress it up with a pretty bow, but he spoke the truth, and he did it with love, because he IS love. The Pharisees didn’t get it. They didn’t want to. But that doesn’t mean Jesus hated them. Neither do Christians who seek to reach out to homosexuals to say, “God loves you and wants better for you than sexual immorality — listen to His Word lest ye perish” hate them. We love them. And because we love them we cannot sit idly and watch them embrace temptation without speaking up. There is no ambiguity in God’s word; he hasn’t veiled it from those who believe and are indwelt with the Spirit of discernment.
Speak the truth. Speak in love. Speak with conviction.
Yes. This.
i agree with jenn: yes. this.
Exactly this, Sharyn!
It is important to note that the “sin” of the Pharisees and Sadducees was relying on the rules of their religious tradition, rather than being open to the radical love and welcome that Jesus was proclaiming. The were a “den of vipers” because they required people to behave the way they wanted them to, rather than help people experience the living God.
In other words, the “sin” of the Pharisees and Sadducees was quoting the Bible and telling others that their lives were sinful. Jesus’ words were very clear: “Why are you worried about the speck in someone else’s eye, when you have a log coming out of your own?”
Rob, you’re so close. So close. But you’ve still missed the mark. The Pharisees’ sin was not “quoting the Bible and telling others that their lives were sinful.” The Pharisees’ and Sadducees’ sin was relying on their own wisdom, in excess of God’s law. They had built a hedge around God’s perfection — not trying simply to be holy through their own efforts, but to be even holier than God’s law demanded. Don’t forget that God’s plan was ALWAYS a plan of merciful forgiveness; Abraham’s covenant came before the law; and the law itself was demanded by the arrogant Jews who believed they could uphold any statutes God gave them.
So what, then, made Abraham different from others? He walked in righteousness; even without a written or oral law, his behavior was fundamentally different. He sought God’s will in his life and it was credited to him as righteousness. We so typically see righteousness and holiness as negative attributes, as damp blankets on our Grace Parade, but they’re fundamentally and inextricably connected.
There is nothing in the Bible that tells us not to judge the actions of others. Jesus tells us we’ll know false teachers by whether they produce fruit of the Spirit or fruit of the world — whether they draw people to or away from God and the true Gospel. Paul tells us we’re to judge those within the church, and that we’ll judge the world after Jesus’ return.
God Bless you! Stay strong.
This is a great post. Very thought provoking.
I slightly disagree with the statement that “children are not cruel”. If you’ve ever seen two toddlers fighting over a toy, you know that cruelty is innate.
We are all born with sin, but I think what you are referring to is selfishness, not cruelty.
I found your blog through a post on a friend’s FB page… As a Pastor of a Christian Church, all I can say is…. Thank you. I wish you were a member of my congregation!
Wow, what a load of crap. It is absurd to follow “what you choose” in the Bible to believe & follow. It is either the Truth or it isn’t. Homosexuality is a sin, not popular to say in society today where we are so bombarded with the opposite (especially in our colleges) but the Bible’s clear it is. The Bible is also clear that just because something is a sin that absolutely means we love that person & treat them no differently than we would everyone else around us because we all sin, ourselves most definitely included. The Bible is not a buffet where you pick & choose what you like. Leviticus 18:12, Levitucs 20:13, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Jude 1:7, Romans 1:26, 27, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10
And, may I ask, what other Leviticus passages you cling to so vehemently?
Hi Mark,
Leave out the Leviticus passages (not because they’re irrelevant…just for the sake of argument) and there’s still plenty of Biblical evidence (all of the other verses she mentioned) that homosexual behavior is sin.
If there were no scriptures about homosexual behavior, we still have, from beginning to end, a Bible that affirms the male/female design of marriage.
We could also broaden our Biblical evidence against homosexuality to include fornication and adultery (in case you want to bring up the case of committed homosexual relationships who want to be married, but are prevented from marrying. As an aside, many gays are promoting open marriage, and hoping to “improve” marriage: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/29/us/29sfmetro.html?_r=0.
And then we could put the Bible aside and consider that laws against homosexual marriage extend beyond Christianity to cultures and religions around the world for all of recorded history. It definitely seems like there’s a law written in the hearts of men that warns against homosexual behavior.
We don’t hate gays anymore than we hate someone who is addicted to porn, or someone who cheats on their wife, or someone who has sex out of marriage. Sin is sin. It’s not about hate. It’s about calling it what it is.
And so, Anne, I assume that you have “sold all that you have and have given it to the poor”?
I find your comments interesting. I am a Registered Nurse. I have seen incredible things in my career. Okay, let’s just think. If we take the bible in your very literal approach men would be men and women would be women and they would marry each other. Done. God’s Plan. How about babies born with both ovaries AND testicles. Or a penis and uterus? What are they? I don’t think that’s mentioned in the bible. But God did create them, right? He weaved that all together. So when they choose their sexuality which orientation is a sin? Do you think it could be possible that the chemistry in the brain of a gay person is different? And that God did actually create that difference? Be careful what you call a sin.
If this was the case in all transgendered individuals, the conversation would be very different.
I am not saying I’m without sin. I’m just asking you to call sin…sin.
God created us, and it was good. And then sin, like a virus, entered the world. Everything is corrupt. No one is without sin. We are valuable to Him, but we are not perfect and whole in our current state.
What if I were to tell you I was lying, but I went on to insist that the Bible’s instructions re lying are ambiguous. The type of lying I do didn’t exist when the Bible was written. As long as it’s not hurting the employer, it’s fine. I’m lying to benefit a poor family. I’m lying because the company was mean to me and I am a victim. I’m lying because I am genetically predisposed as a compulsive liar and can’t help myself. I am not compulsive, but lying is natual, and what’s natural is good. And why are you judging me for lying? It’s none of your business. I can tell you hate liars and that you’re unwilling to let me lie, even though it’s my God-given right. You’ve lied before you hypocrite. You have your own sin to deal with. Leave me alone. I can lie if I want.
We don’t have evidence that homosexuality is genetic, but if we did, that wouldn’t mean that God desires that behavior. How about a person who struggles with child molestation? Should their behavior be embraced because they were born that way? What about someone genetically prone to alcoholism?
For those born with both male/female parts, I’d say that the is definitely not a choice and that they should make the best decision they can. Either way, they, you, me…all sin, and we all need help and forgiveness and freedom from the slavery of sin.
I believe it is “Reverend Mark” or “Pastor Mark” whether or not you agree on his beliefs or statements? Thanks!
Meant no offense. I call my pastor by his first name only.
Is that a universally accepted custom? I don’t come from a faith tradition that styles people Reverend so I very rarely write directly to them or about them, but I guess I had the feeling it was like someone who had gotten their doctorate. I called my professors Dr. This or That when we were in class but if I ended up friends with them outside of school in talking to them I would call them by their first name or first and last without the honorifics.
No Monika. I think Sarah thought since I was challenging the rev., by not calling him by his title + name, I was being flippant and disrespectful. Which I wasn’t. I call my pastor by his first name only. It’s a custom in some churches, but not others.
Michelle,
Have your heard of Matthew Vines?
I would love it if you would just take a look at his video to understand another Christian view.
He’s done a ton of research and he shares it in a very humble and loving way.
Here’s the link: http://www.matthewvines.com/
Since the bible is not a buffet, as you so eloquently put it, we can assume you follow ALL of Leviticus? Somehow, I find that hard to believe….
Why Leviticus isn’ a problem: http://carm.org/leviticus-homosexuality-old-testament-law
With the exception of just a few, my favorite thing about the comments that follow this amazing post is that people feel safe enough to disagree with love and understanding of others. Or at least tolerance of the opinions of others. But, as Glennon said, shouldn’t we be striving for more than just tolerance? Because, after all, one of the philosophies of this site is the LOVE WINS. So how about if we all concentrate on loving each other instead of concentrating on why we shouldn’t.
Perfectly stated, all over again. Thank you for sharing it 🙂
Amen.
To those who are critical of Glennon’s Scriptural interpretation:
She is absolutely on point. The Bible must be interpreted by doing thorough exegesis, not eisegesis; cherry picking passages such as those in Genesis, Leviticus, Corinthians, and Romans and using them to condemn certain individuals is abuse of holy scripture. The same thing was done to justify slavery and oppression of women (which, sadly, is still done in many denominations today in spite of Jesus’ overwhelmingly liberal treatment of women in His day.)
Jack Rogers’ book “Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality: Explode the Myths, Heal the Church” does an outstanding job of explaining (and debunking) each passage and identifying the many flaws in works such as those by Gagnon that are often cited by conservative Christians to condemn homosexuality. He also demonstrates the considerable scriptural support for the inclusive church and equality Jesus Christ exemplified through his life, ministry, and death.
Hayes & Holladay’s book on Biblical Exegesis and a New Oxford Annotated NRSV are also helpful in reading and interpreting scripture in order to be faithful to the message. We must always look to the redemptive life and ministry of Jesus when interpreting scripture and keep Him at the center, and remember that any interpretation that leads to or supports contempt of any child of God cannot be correct because it sets us in opposition to love for God and His creation – our fellow human beings. Such an interpretation is in opposition to Jesus’ message.
I could go on for pages about this topic, but I would only be restating what has already been said by Glennon or paraphrasing Rogers’ book. People who are truly serious about learning and growing in their faith will explore the issue further with an open mind and remain open to the idea that perhaps they were wrong to condemn homosexuals and label them as sinful. I once – many years ago – believed that “being gay” was a sin. I now know that to be untrue, and that I was wrong not only in my belief but also for calling someone else’s sexual orientation sinful when it is never my business to judge even if it were, because only God has that authority.
It is also simply untrue that the church, in its acceptance of LGBT individuals, is conforming to society. Do you not understand that LGBT individuals are most likely to be victims of hate crimes, commit suicide, or be kicked out of their homes as teenagers simply for being who they are? By definition they are “the least of these” who Jesus instructs us to care for because “just as you did it to one of the least of these – you did it to me, and just as you did not do it to tone of the least of these, you did not do it to me.” The church should be leading the way for these individuals, even when it is unpopular to do so. Sometimes it is difficult to lead from the front and do the right thing. If our acceptance leads to life for more people, while condemnation leads to increased suicide, hate crimes, and hanging of LGBT people in Africa, it should be glaringly obvious “What Jesus would do.”
As a church, we are called to be DIFFERENT from the world around us. In a world full of racists and bigots we are called to LOVE ONE ANOTHER; not only our brother and sister in faith but also our enemy and those with whom we disagree. If the world is full of hatred toward those who are different, we are to show them love, as Jesus did. When the world bullies or beats a gay teenager to the point where he or she sees suicide as a way out, the church should be a place of solace rather than condemnation. In a world full of turmoil, war, and disrespect for our fellow brothers and sisters – fellow children of God – people do not come seeking more of the world. They come seeking God’s love and community with those who will nurture their faith and offer them hope and a place to respond to God’s grace, not condemn them for how He made them. As Mother Teresa said, “Love each other as God loves each one of you, with an intense and particular love. Be kind to each other: It is better to commit faults with gentleness than to work miracles with unkindness.” The kingdom of God is not a place, but a condition (Frederick Buechner). We must do a better job creating that condition here.
In other words, those of you with your fundamentalist, authoritarian beliefs and interpretation of Scripture:
“If you show partiality, you commit sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors. For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it…for judgement will be without mercy to anyone who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgement. Do not speak evil against one another, brothers and sisters. Whoever speaks evil against another or judges another, speaks evil against the law and judges the law; but if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is One lawgiver and judge who is able to save and to destroy. So who, then, are you to judge your neighbor?” James 2:9-10, 13; 4:11-12
Recall that it is “By grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God – not the result of works, so that no one may boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9
Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Beautiful. Full of Love and acceptance and common sense.
Thank you Glennon. I am not religious myself but believe in the beauty of humanity and protecting and supporting that. That’s what this place does and I am proud to be a part of it.
I had read your letter to chase before, but the foreword?…. Wow. The answer is me. I had known that. But at last, I GOT it. And every bit of my son will be loved up forever….not a gap, not a hole, not an ‘unless’ left out, to that same end. Thanks x
This is the greatest gift you could ever give him. Love him up my friend!
This is not biblical; it is emotional. God does not tell us to pick & choose what to believe in His Holy word. Sexual immorality is a sin and sin separates us from God. Why would any good Christian parent condone a sinful lifestyle in their child? Yes, you love them, but you also teach them the difference between right & wrong. Care for their soul. Care for their relationship with Christ. THAT is true love.
Really? Any cotton-poly blends in your home? Eat any bacon lately? Make a peep in church lately? BTW, you judged a whole lot of people here, and that’s a sin, too, so you should check that whole “cast the first stone” and “log in your eye” thing before you talk about other people’s separation from God. I could go on and on and on…Start reading every single part of the Bible by doing exegesis and with Christ’s redemptive light, life, and ministry at the center of your interpretation. Then follow Him, and you won’t have time to judge someone else’s soul or who you think is a “good Christian.” God has that covered – it isn’t your job. Oh, and TRUE LOVE is loving one another the way Jesus called us to in Matt. 25:35-45 and Luke 10:25-37.
Actually, 1Cor 5:12 — it absolutely is our job to judge those who claim to be Christians. It’s God’s job to judge the rest of the world.
To answer your three questions, yes, yes, & yes. Of course! I am not an Israelite of the Old Testament! Christ died on the cross for these sins! His death erased those laws as expressed in the New Testament. However, sexual immorality is described in Leviticus & continues to be sinful even through the New Testament. THESE laws did not change. You certainly ignore the context of scripture as most convenient to you.
As for love… GOD is love. If you accept sin in others & tell them it is okay, you are okay with their separation from God. How very counter intuitive of the Christian!
Aimee, if you have a son and he were to tell you that he was gay? I would hope that you would be kind and loving like Glennon. But I really doubt it. And why does that make you a better follower of Jesus than G?
As I said, “Yes, you love them, but you also teach them the difference between right & wrong. Care for their soul. Care for their relationship with Christ. THAT is true love.”
Carrie, you hypocrite. You just now told her that she was judging while at the same time you are judging!
Pull that plank out of your eye.
I know, I am judging you by saying this…but, guess what. That is ok! I believe in judging. You don’t. Yet, you still judge. Modern day Pharisee.
G, you are a fearless Truth-Teller! Thank you for writing this brilliant Truth and allowing me to share it with everyone I know. I never thought it would be so easy to help save the world but your words make it so!
To everyone who took this beautiful letter of acceptance and love from a mother to a child as an opportunity to bicker about your Biblical interpretations, you should be ashamed of yourselves. I believe Jesus had something to say about casting the first stone. Unless you’re a theology scholar, which I would assume most of you are not (with the exception of the Rev.), this is not the place for your judgments.
We have a lovely document in this country called the Constitution. It calls for a separation of church and state. It means that you don’t get to make laws based on your religious beliefs – ANY religious belief. You’re free to think however you wish but you’re not allowed to deny human rights based on them. Perhaps if you people felt so strongly about divorce as you do about same-sex marriage, you might have a little more credibility.
Well said. Thank you.
Amen. And, until every judgmental heterosexual married couple in this country is faithful and perfect, I think they should probably keep to themselves. G’s letter was glorious & accepting. Anybody would be lucky to have her as a mother. Or a daughter. Or a sister. x
Actually the Constitution says nothing about “Separation of Church and State”. hat phrase was coined in a letter that had nothing to do with the Constitution. What the Bill of Rights says is: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances” It says CONGRESS should stay out of religion. They can’t make a law that prefers one ideology over another, and they cannot make a law that keeps me from practicing my FREEDOMS. The unfortunate thing is that by allowing homosexuality to become a norm, it oppresses the freedom of speech of Christians and other religions who do not agree that homosexuality is a norm. They are viloently shouted at and called intolerant, when the only words spoken were the Bible shows us that homosexuality is sin. But there is a way. Just like for the liar, the cheater, the fornicator, the adulterer, and the idolater. God made a way for all of us. But first we must recognize our fallen state and our need for a Savior. The Bible shows us that we are incapable of of following the law. Have you seen all of the “rules” we are NOT capable of not sinning. Wow.
I love people, but I do not love their sin. I do not love my sin. But, Jesus came to save me from them because He has a better way. When I recognize that He is the one to save me, I can recognize that some of the desires I have are sinful and do not align with His word, but it is by HIS grace that I am saved, through faith, not of myself. I cannot boast in salvation, but I can share the Jesus who LOVEs each person, without loving their sin. He was tortured on a cross, died and was resurrected to save all people. for me. for you. So that we could have eternal life with Him. To deny sin, to call it something else is to spit on the face of the only one who can save us from it. All of us. Gay, Straight, black, white, brown, young or old. Jesus is our only hope. There’s a scripture that talks about those who practice sin will not inherit the Kingdom of God. To repent is to turn away from sin. We all struggle with it, we all fall down, but do we choose to turn to Him for help to get back up and go His way?
The Bible warns of the day when people will call what is good evil and what is evil good. And though it may seem harmless, it may seem good, the only way we can know what is good is to look at what God’s word says. If you are living with someone you are not married to and are having sex….repent. God’s kingdom is at hand. If you are contemplating adultery. Repent. Turn to God’s word, and be healed. If you are in a homosexual relationship, and you claim to love God. Look at His word. Repent. It hurts. I know. But God still loves you and always will. He can heal the hurt. He can restore you according to His will and His plan. If you are in any kind of sin, according to God’s word, repent. It’s the only way. Turn from what is evil, and turn your heart to God.
Seriously, Kristy? Christians are oppressed? Are you being sarcastic? If you’re convinced that Christians are oppressed in this country, go read something about Sharia law. THAT’S oppression, friend. Again, you get to believe whatever you want but you don’t get to make your prejudices into law. This is not a theocracy. ANY theocracy. You don’t approve of same-sex marriage? Don’t marry someone of the same sex. It’s that simple.
Ah Chelsea, you and I could be such good friends! Love you. I really love what you have to say.
The 14th amendment is our friend.
Hallelujah!
Well said!
I believe you are SO right about love being our first duty. I also believe homosexuality is a sin. I believe the two ideas can coexist. -Otherwise Christ wouldn’t have taught that sin does exist, and at the same time command that we are not to judge others. We’re all sinners in small or big ways but as you so beautifully stated, “Everybody’s in”. Thank you for your lovely Christianity.
Beautiful. I wish that every gay child could hear this message from his or her parents. I’m saving this to share with my kids some day. Thank you!
“A Mountain I’m Willing To Die On” – Written by: Spiritual Darkness
American Christians. “Tsk, tsk, tsk.” Weak and politically correct Christians, not willing to hold firm in the face of social pressure. Worried of your name being tarnished by friends, family and co-workers. Worried of getting fired from work because of your beliefs. Worried of what people would think of you for practicing your religion and believing that homosexuality, the act of sex between a man/man or woman/woman is a sin. American Christians, scared to follow Jesus, but rather fold in the face of pressure.
Whatever “God” you’re referring too, is not the God I worship. It’s not the God millions of hard-core followers of Christ worship and are persecuted for in most countries on a daily basis. It’s not the God that’s banned in most societies. We worship a different God. My God is Lord over yours. Your “God” speaks lies, and is of spiritual darkness. You worship a false God. A real Christian see’s right through your cunning words and deception. You mislead and speak lies from the pit of hell.
You say “A Mountain I’m Willing To Die On”. I ask you, and others that partake in such false teachings…When you die and meet Jesus face to face, what will you say? When Jesus looks you in the eyes…are you going to stand for these deceptive beliefs? You’re going to be judged by the only judge that matters. The God that created your human body and this earth we live on and the universe we live in. If you stay the course, you’ll meet your “God”. It just won’t be the one who wrote the Holy Bible.
I’ll pray for you tonight.
Amen!! It is time for Christians to grow a backbone & speak biblical TRUTH!
I will pray for YOU, that you will find a loving God and will learn not to turn your judgement on others. You and Aimee do not have authority on Biblical truth or judgement. My Bible says that judgement is God’s job, and that mercy triumphs. I know your Fundamentalist beliefs teach you something entirely different (and that, as a woman, I shouldn’t speak at all….curious that you’re even reading a female’s blog unless it’s simply to troll.) Sorry, Aimee and Tsu, but I too have a backbone and believe in the truth of Jesus’ redemptive, loving message and my faith, even if it differs from your hate filled, condemning message.
(I used to be shocked by the cunningness of fake “Christians”. Not anymore, though. I just feel pity for your day of judgement. But the good news is, the wicked have some years left on this earth to find the truth.)
In response to yours…
We are to judge those within the church. Not those of the world. 1 Corinthians 5. You bend your ‘backbone’ and mind to conform to social pressure. You conform to being politically correct on Earth, amongst friends and family. It’s meaningless. Your ashamed of the true Gospel of Christ. I do not judge those of the world. I always keep my mouth shut, as you can see and read, my response was only directed towards the “Christian” author, and towards other “Christians” that practice this twisted view and spew these lies from the pit of hell publicly.
As a human, I do not care what you believe. But as a lover and follower of Jesus Christ, someone who is willing to die for Jesus and the Biblical truth’s, I’m at peace and joy knowing I’m standing strong in the politically correct pressure from socialites and weak “Christians”. And I will judge other Christians within the church, confront them, and try to help those that are misled by false teachings within the church. Then I pray for those that are lost and speaking lies to the flock, that the Holy Spirit convicts them of their sins.
Lastly, I read this blog because a “Christian” friend of mine on Facebook posted a link to this. She apparently ‘liked’ it, and it showed in my feed. I was so saddened after reading this, that I had to comment. So no, I leave the trolling to the 14 yr olds on 4chan. As for me, I confront spiritual darkens head on when they twist the truth’s in the Bible. My goal is to preach to the lost “Christians”, people like yourself and the author. Life is very short, and can end even from natural causes for quickly. You will meet your creator, and that backbone of yours will be useless. I will pray that the Holy Spirit, one day, convicts your heart/spirit. I’d love to meet with you, and worship our King together in Heaven.
When I first read this letter I loved it, but now that I read your comment tsu I feel pretty convicted in what you say and I can only assume that is from the Holy Spirit. Recently I finished reading 2 Timothy where Paul warns Timothy of being mislead by false teachers preaching what the people want to hear. I’ve been praying for discernment because I am fearful, that I, and so many others, will not be able to tell ‘what is’ false. There is so much ‘false’ in this world already. I’m just so torn over the issue. I love my gay friends! The enemy is sneaky. A perfect example is that the bible says we should not kill, and the enemy has crept in and told so many people that abortion is okay. Now there are millions of little souls in heaven who were killed by their own parents on purpose. I’m not saying being gay is like abortion, just that the enemy will use every bit of subtlety to steer us down a path that will lead to more and more lies and keep us farther and father from our Father God. But I think ultimately we need to concentrate on the parts of the bible that we do understand and not those we don’t, so with that in mind I’ll be okay with not knowing, not judging and just trying to love like Jesus.
Jen,
Thank you for your kind heart. I know how you feel. Two of my best friends are gay; I love them to death and back, and they know it. They also know what I believe, and they respect it. I pray for them often.
I would encourage you, sister, to read 1Cor5; Paul instructs that we are to judge those within the church, and leave the world to God’s judgment. We’re not to separate ourselves from the sin of the world, “or else you would have to leave the world.” We can’t get around it. All we can do (and are obligated to do) is to maintain our own spiritual house.
That means, sister, you may be called to help lead spiritually immature sisters in their walk; become an accountability partner; call your Christian sisters regularly and ask how their walk is going. Ask if you can pray for and with them and encourage them. The walk in our talk is that we’re to keep ourselves in right standing and let the world come to US. God will lead when we follow where He tells us to go in His Word.
Blessings <3
Thank you for your encouragement Sharyn and I will look up 1 Cor 5. I will treasure it when I am feeling confused with any issues. Parts of her letter are very accurate, and parts of it are filled with so much love, that I think we can all learn from her compassion and willingness to embrace her son no matter the situation. All parents should do that. But I will use caution when agreeing with something I don’t feel convicted is biblical. I read in a bible study once that if you don’t hear the Lord speaking specifically to you about a particular thing you are praying about to let him know you’re going to continue down the path that you feel is right, until he instructs you otherwise. So far I haven’t heard from him that I should change my beliefs, or that it is okay for me to pick and choose what parts of the bible I follow.
Even Satan knew how powerful scripture was and could quote it, he quoted it to Jesus when he tempted him. Now if the enemy knows it’s content and can use it with Jesus, he certainly can try to trick us regarding what it says!
Here are some alternate thoughts that came to mind with a few things she mentioned about ‘picking and choosing’ what we follow. (Although I’m not a pastor or theologian – and don’t have years of formal training to back this up.) I know we don’t cover our heads as women any longer, but wasn’t the context of that more about humility and a way for them to teach respect for authority in the early church and in homes – not about the physical thing over her head? They needed a lot of instruction in the early church – they were brand new. People were coming against them at all sides. And as far as what we eat and don’t eat now – that was in the old testament before Jesus and His sacrifice put an end to all of the ‘laws’. So no we don’t follow that, but neither did the early Gentile Christians. Jesus’ disciples taught this, it’s not about us choosing not to follow old testament laws. He told us we didn’t have to. Slavery – well slavery looked a lot different for the most part back then. The slavery that was referred to during those times was not like what we knew here in America. Some people used to sell themselves into slavery to rid a debt and then when the debt was paid they were free. (No I’m not condoning slavery – just when the bible is talking about slaves obeying masters it’s not talking about the cruel slave owners from Southern America or women and children who are enslaved today.) Typically whenever there is an instruction to a slave to be obedient there is one that immediately follows for slave owners to be fair and compassionate. So I’m not certain those are great arguments to use as a base to say that just because there wasn’t a word for homosexuality that isn’t what God meant when he instructed the writers to write on the subject. I think the intent was really for all sexual impurity outside of marriage between a husband and a wife – man and woman.)
All sin separates us from God, mine, yours, everyone’s, but thankfully by His Grace which came through His son we can all be saved. The real issue in this debate is love, not sin. If we debated every sin we would not have room to talk about love. The bible tells us not to even talk about others sins or immoral things people do – I can’t remember now where it is. As Christians we should do as she insists in this letter she will do – continue to love.
Jen, pray and ask God for the spiritual gift of discernment. Using that gift everyday lets you know when lies are being spoken, and when you’re being missled. Using discernment, the Holy Spirit guides you, instructs you, lets you know what is right and wrong. Ask for it tonight, it makes the Christian walk much easier.
Jen, of course we are to love. “Love” is a commandment from God. “Christians” who hate Gay’s, are not true Christians (followers of God who sent his son Jesus to die on the Cross and that created the perfect Holy Bible we have and read today). We are commanded to love all people, that includes all sinners. Loving sinners, and those that are gay, doesn’t mean we stop praying for them and witnessing to them.
There are lots of deceitful people within the church today. They twist the Bible’s message, and mold it for today’s evolved politically correct world. But as real Christians, WE ARE NOT OF THIS WORLD. Our treasures are not stored here on Earth, our purpose is not here on Earth, our reason for creation and purpose in life is to worship God. That’s it. Our spirit thirsts for worship, and he gives us life when we do.
Stand firm. Stay strong. Read the Bible as it is, literally. Nothing has changed, and remains the same. The Bible was created by God, and is as relevant today as it was then. Do not listen to other humans that preach and twist the scripture. Your friend count, or how well you were liked here on Earth is meaningless when you’re standing at the front gates of heaven, face to face, with our God and Creator.
Let me be the first to say that it’s hard to stand against false teachings, and yet, to even recognize it! It’s also very hard to NOT conform to the ways of the world today. There’s so much pressure to be PC, and to say and do all the right things. I work and live in Manhattan, NY. To say the pressure is hard here, is putting it mildly. It would be a lie to say that I’m always strong. Because I’m not. Sometimes I too am misled by co-workers, or the Christian church in NYC that’s changing one by one, allowing such lies as wrote above to be let in the church. And I listen, but I know during that something is not right because of the spirit of discernment telling me “Watch out”. Some churches no longer preach about homosexuality. Some churches TAKE OUT those pages from the Bible. Some churches even marry homosexuals within the church we worship our creator. Talk about insanity. I think if there’s a legal definition of insanity, that would be it. But I digress.
Want to know real, true hard-core believers of Christ and the Bible? Volunteer for a couple weeks or month as a missionary, smuggle Bibles into underground Christian churches in China, the Middle East, and some parts of Africa. You will see Jesus face to face with those people hungry, thirsty and dying for the scripture people. They yearn for that truth. They die for it and the Bibles beliefs. They’re persecuted for those beliefs. And we too, right here in America, will also be persecuted for our beliefs once laws are passed to outlaw “hate speech” such as they recently did in Canada. “Hate speech” now includes anything against the gay community, such as preaching against Homosexuality. Pastors in Canada face jail time, and fines if they preach from those scriptures. It will happen here in the U.S., during our lifetime. It will happen sooner, rather than later. Are you ready to be put in jail for holding strong? I can tell you this, Jesus will be right next to you the whole way. I will too. So will thousands of other real believers in Christ.
Jen,
While you are studying and listening to God, I encourage you
to listen to Christian Matthew Vines. Only God can tell you
if his message is right for you. I think it is worth the time to
at least hear what he has to say.
http://www.matthewvines.com/
I watched and listened. A believer in Christ can run circles around Vine’s practices of proof-texting. A YouTuber left a comment I must paste here. It’s spot in.
“What Vine is doing is nothing more than creating proof-texts in order to attempt to prove his very weak argument. In fact, his exegesis of Ezekiel is so poor that I can’t believe he uses it as part of his argument. The point of Ezekiel 16 is not to highlight Sodom but to point out the detestable things of Jerusalem. God, through Ezekiel uses Sodom and Samaria as metaphors to highlight Jerusalem’s detestable practices. Vine in his entire discourse is living out 2 Timothy 4:3.”
What’s happening within the Church, in the Western world (Particularly in the United States) is exactly what 2 Timothy 4:3 states. It’s also what’s happening across the Christian community, when these lies are being preached. As a Spiritual warrior for Christ, listening to Vine speak, I knew immediately that I was listening to the enemy himself. The slithering and sneaky demonic talk spewing from his mouth, and the darkness within his eyes. It’s not his fault. He’s lost. He’s grasping for a reason to continue in his sin, like so many other Gay’s who practice “Christianity”. I did the same thing when I was a drug addict. I tried to justify my drug use.
Christianity is not a religion. It’s a walk of life that FEW do, and thus just like the Bible mentions, FEW will enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Those that speak the lies are stuck in This is spiritual bondage!
My prayer for you and the author, and false teachers like Mr. Vine goes as follows…
“I rebuke you and your false teachings in the name of Jesus! I’m covered by the blood of the lamb. Satan, and the spirit of homosexuality and false teachings and doctrines, you have no power and authority over me and Jesus’ follower. I command you to leave right now, in the name of Jesus. We’re cleansed by the blood, and are protected and walk in the spirit of truth. Lord, my god, my King, my Savior…my Dear heavenly father, I pray for those here reading this blog, those with doubts and whom are confused, that you show speak to them and show them the truth through your word. Lord God, Abba Father, I pray for your spiritual protection against and to cover me and the other struggling Christians who seek the truth. God, you’re perfect and your word is perfect. Forgive us God for our sins, forgive those that speak these false teachings and mislead all of these people. Please God, have mercy upon them, show them your truth. I pray this all in Jesus’ mighty and holy name. Amen.”
Tsu,
I admire your energy and strong spirit and I appreciate you taking the time to watch it. I posted it for Jen though.
I’m sorry but I don’t think you know exactly what is right.
I know you feel very sure of it and I can tell that I would be wasting my time debating with you so I’m not going to spend the time.
I have prayed about this and feel like I got a message from God to “stay the course”. I encourage you to pray about this as well. Ask God and see what message you hear.
I’m glad you are no longer on drugs. That is something to celebrate.
Please be kind in your judgements and please try not to call people demonic to their face (even if you are thinking it). You may think you know but you could be wrong and don’t you think that’s a pretty mean thing to say if you are wrong? (I know, you’ll say you are sure and tell me I’m demonic now but please don’t – I’m not.)
I just asked God if I should add anything to tell you and I got
“Trust in Me” .
Sounds like a good way to end.
Peace Out Tsu
Tsu,
How can I hear more about your Testimony?
Jeremiah writes to the exiles and I believe, to those who Serve Christ, in Jer 29:13 ‘you will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. 14 and I will be found you you, declares the Lord.’
When a mortal’s life is over, and all he/she professes to believe and condone, is about to be brought before that only Judge Who matters, it will be understood what action or belief can stand before our Holy Maker. How critical, then, it is to leave all personal feelings, political pressure, varied opinions/agendas and fears aside and with Prayer and Discerning from the Holy Spirit, to examine the Scriptures for yourself. It is written that in the end times, even the elect will be deceived. Once one has encountered the Way, Truth and Life on a personal basis, nothing is the same! Love can be defined many ways. The clearest Proof of God’s Love for us is that Christ willfully gave His Life for us even as we did not deserve it. If we are to really Love one another, shouldn’t we want the Most High Love for them, a Love that tells the Truth in addition to displaying it? We see/feel things from a human perspective. We should care more about God’s Eternal perspective than ours.
Would you consider telling us more? 🙂
Tsu,
God bless you my friend!! We need more Christians like you who will speak the truth and not conform to this world! If you don’t already have a blog, you should start one!
Agree. I would look forward to reading it!
Thanks Kerry. I’ll bring it up with my mentor next time I see her and see what she says about the link you shared. She is a very wise older Christian woman who I meet with. I think she will have some great insights to add when I show her this blog and all of the comments. I feel she is a perfect person to help give some clarity on this subject. She works for a university (math & science), but is rooted in scripture and a sound faith. I think I need to talk it out with a live person (plus pray about what I think). It can be easy to be swayed one way or another from written words and opinions of people – at least for me it is. Nothing can replace discussion and community with a fellow believer. : )
Tsu – her son is a pastor at a church in NYC and I know he preaches from the gospel without changing it. I should find out the name for you.
My four year old daughter, from the time she was two, has only ever planned on marrying another girl when she is a grown up. My husband and I forbid anyone to tell her she can’t. We tell our girls they can be anything at all, and that includes gay.
To be honest, I just don’t understand what all the fuss is about.
Love this post, G, again and again and again.
Love love love.
I wish I could high five you Nicole, you and your daughter (regardless of who she ends up with down the road) are fantastic.
There are so many parts of this I agree with, but many I do not. First, I whole-heartedly agree that as Christians we are called to love. Not conditionally, but to love thy neighbor. I will always do unto others as I would have done unto me, my family & my friends. I have many friends that are different from me in many ways. Different faiths, walks of life, race, etc… I love them for their differences and more importantly just because of who they are. They, and anyone else, have no bearing on my relationship with God. I have just as much right to believe what I believe as anyone else. But that doesn’t seem to be the case of late. If I dare say that I do not believe that homosexuality was what God intended then I’m labeled ignorant, wrong, and a bully. Incapable of accurately interpreting scripture. I even heard someone on the radio today say that if churches and other organizations that have traditionally stood against gay marriage didn’t “get on board” they would be labeled the same as the KKK for human rights violations. WHAT? I have been taught my entire life that the bible is the living word of God. Perhaps the men that actually put it to paper were only men, but I think God is quite powerful enough to make sure that when they were penning the scrolls they didn’t make any really significant typos. But I’m no longer allowed to voice this, because if I do it’s hate speech. For some reason Christians are no longer allowed the same voice as everyone else. I assume it’s because what we have to say isn’t “cool” or on occasion easy to hear. I am called to love everyone, but I’m not called to love everything they do. If one of my children were to come out to me one day, my love would never waiver. But my heart would break for them because I do believe it is a sin. And I would pray them thru their life just as I will now. I must admit my heart is racing at just typing this. Don’t even know if I can hit submit. I know there might be backlash, so please be kind. I have tried to be respectful in my disagreement 🙂
One final thing that also bothered me a bit. I know it was perhaps meant in jest, but your P.S. makes me very sad. You’ve basically said how excited you will be to have a gay son, but it’s “ok” if your just boring old straight. Again, it’s seems the cool thing here is to be gay. “Anticlimactic” if he’s not & you’ll “deal” with him being straight? It almost makes me feel bad for him if he’s not gay!
Well this is a heck of a first time comment 😉
This was so perfectly commented. I couldn’t have said it better! THANK YOU PAM!
Yes!!! I love the gay people in my life (including my sister) – but that doesn’t mean I accept their choices/behavior as rightful. And I agree – it is totally NOT COOL to not support gay marriage. Guess I am NOT COOL.
But I’m still confused…what does the bible have to do with the Constitution?
Some people fail to realize that the state and the church are not the same thing, and that separation of church and state actually exists for the protection of both. Sad.
Thank you for writing this comment. It is perfectly stated, in my humble opinion. Let us love one another while affirming our beliefs!
You are all splitting hairs…let us love one another…but only sort of accept/tolerate one another. You are placing all kinds of conditions on an acceptance and grace that is not even yours to give, for a “lifestyle” that is only such because we have left LGBT people with no alternative. Heterosexuals can marry, divorce, cheat, whatever.
Barbara Wheeler (former president, current professor at Auburn Theological Seminary) said in a 1999 sermon to Presbyterians:
“As conservative Presbyterians emphasize, the Christian life is a disciplined life. On this matter, I am a conservative too. We follow Jesus Christ, who gave his life for the life of the world. If we want to live in his light and walk in his way, we too will be called to sacrifice, and among the things we are likely to be required to give up – some of our wealth, some of our power – are immediate sexual gratifications that would cause injury or pain to others. Foregoing something as pleasurable as sex is not easy. We need God’s gel, through the church, to find the grace to do that. Far from helping, however, the church’s current teaching on sexuality militates against sacrifice and restraint. Homosexuals get no help at all in making moral decisions about their sexual behavior; all of it is simply dismissed as bad. Heterosexual relationships get off lightly, if they are monogamous, because we think they are God’s favored form. I am convinced that equal treatment of homosexual and heterosexual relationships, including the recognition that marriage is God’s gift for both, would strike a blow, not for sexual license, but for much-needed sexual discipline.
I want to make it clear that I hold my position because of the Bible, not in spite of it. In my best moments, when, as Paul says, I accept the grace to want “what I want,” (Rom. 7:14-20), what I truly want is to live my life in alignment with God. Since I like Paul am not naturally inclined to do that, I cannot imagine how it would be possible without scriptures that judge and contradict as well as comfort and affirm. I need scripture to say what it says, not to agree with me or confirm my preferences. In this case, I know that some passages put homosexual practices in a negative light, but these like the many precise biblical injunctions that Presbyterians do not observe are overridden by much more blatant testimony. God rules everything. Through the whole history of God’s dealings with us, God has exercised God’s freedom to demolish categories we invent for our own convenience. I am convinced that God is doing this today, demolishing the categories of homosexuality and heterosexuality which we constructed for our peace of mind, not God’s glory. I want to testify here that I did not learn about this deconstructive activity of God from some liberal political handbook. I learned it from the scripture that deconstructs me, freeing me, as Paul says, to delight in the law of God.”
As I mentioned before, there is no Hebrew or Greek word for ‘homosexual’ and it really is not spoken about in the Bible. Exegesis, people. Until you have studied – truly, truly studied – you cannot make a judgement on homosexuality using the same principles of interpretation used to justify slavery and oppression of women (still in place today.)
get off your high horse. You are full of pride. Your posts read as if your attempt is to bring glory to yourself for being such the perfect loving person. God is love. All people are bad. Every one of them, including you and me. God is good. You are not.
The way I think of this issue is this, you can believe what you want. Your church doesn’t have to marry gays. But your religion does not speak for others’ religion, or non-religion. It does not have a right to tell anyone else how to live. People who do not live by your religion or beliefs have their own journey or path to follow. The only thing you can do is pray for them. You have no control of them or their journey. The American constitution is not the bible. It must govern and afford freedom and rights for all citizens of our country of all religions, of all beliefs….everyone. Everyone. People are allowed to marry in our country regardless of their religion. People with mental illness or mental handicaps are allowed to marry. People with physical or developmental handicaps are allowed to marry. People in approx 20 states are allowed to marry their first cousin. Convicts, IN PRISON, are allowed to marry. People who are divorced (without annulments!!) are allowed to remarry. People can marry 10 times if they want to. People who break commandments are allowed to marry (or remarry). But, all this focus on only gays and what the Bible says?
So glad you hit send. Perfect response.
Why would God say… he hates sin and tell us in his Word what he considers “sin” so clearly… if we were to “only just love people” not have an action toward sin? As Christians we can discern what the Lord wants and be able to pray clearly for people. Remember how God had man kill people in the Bible for being so sinful? Among the sins mentioned by God was homosexuality. He sent Jesus into the world to die for our sins… but we must personally accept Christ as our personal Savior for the Holy Spirit to come into our heart and be born again. I accept Christ’s gift 33 years ago. There was no denying that he filled the hole that was in my heart before I told Him I needed and wanted Him. In all my years as a Christian I have never believed that it was okay to be gay or be an adulterer etc. I have been an adulterer though…. It was wrong… I knew it was wrong and praise the Lord I asked forgiveness and He has given it. To live as a homosexual or an adulterer and expect God to ignore it and accept it well…. I don’t believe you will live with him in eternity … he says you will live separated from him in eternity… he clearly reveals this in the Bible as hell. IT IS OUR CHOICE… just like accepting Jesus … or living as a homosexual with no regards to God’s living Word. Love you all and want to spend eternity with you and God together. Our days are short… eternity is forever. Choice is easy…. God!
I’m with you Pam! “For some reason Christians are no longer allowed the same voice as everyone else.” How true!! In a country settled by people looking for religious freedom, it’s sad how ‘conservative’ Christians are the ones ridiculed the most. We should be respected and allowed to voice our opinions without so much backlash and ridicule, just as the overweight, gay, Muslim, abortion doctor is allowed his say!
You seem to forget that ‘religious freedom’ means the right to be free of religion also.
The Bible tells us that we can be partakers of the divine nature in this lifetime. Historically theologians and scholars interpret this to being made perfect in love or sinless petcection. I ask you will God allow open homosexuality and marriage in heaven?
The Bible is absolutely not like a game of telephone. Making such a statement displays complete ignorance about oral traditions. Not only that, but the integrity of the extant texts, of which there are literally thousands, certainly refutes that irrelevant analogy.
If you are a Christian, regardless of your views on homosexuality, please do not perpetuate that myth.
Agreed! As Christians we need to stop making God’s Word conform to our needs and “social dogmas” and start living and conforming to God’s will for us. Be not conformed to this world but be transformed by His Spirit. God’s love covers a multitude of sin but messing with the Word holds those accountable for the false teachings they spread as “truth”.
One word to describe this – beautiful. Thank you for writing my thoughts exactly (but much more coherently). I’ll have to write a letter like this for my sons. It’s funny – the more time I’ve spent studying the bible and after graduating from a christian college, the more “liberal” I’ve become. I’ve learned that some very smart, strong believing christian scholars fall on the opposite sides of the same issues. Their hearts aren’t wrong, they are just reading the text with different brains, thoughts, life experiences, etc. (all of which are God-given). The big picture I do get from the bible is “leave the judging to God and just start loving your neighbor!” Can’t wait to see you in Denver!!!
Glennon, there are so many beautiful and loving things about this piece of writing, but why must everyone assume that if you aren’t in favor of “gay marriage” that you are a right-wing wacko (because there are no left-wing wackos), hold narrow-minded religious views, and think your version of theology must be made into law?
First and foremost, let me be clear that I do *not* believe being homosexual is a sin. I do not believe that it’s okay to harass gay people, emotionally or physically, or to use “that is so gay” as a slur. IF my objection to gay marriage was based on what I thought was or wasn’t correct Christian belief, that’s still not a matter of legality. But that’s not it.
I think that marriage is made for one man and one woman. Call it God or nature or whatever, but men and women are different. Big shock, right? But if you think that, you’re considered politically incorrect at best and a rock-throwing, gay-bashing hater at worst. No, I didn’t say men belong in the workplace and women belong in the kitchen and bedroom. Please don’t read into this what you think I’m saying. Men and women are different, and they are complementary.
That doesn’t mean I think there are prescribed roles for each sex. My husband grocery shops and I do the taxes. So what? What it does mean is that men and women are not interchangeable, and that is what the current push towards calling gay unions “marriage” is saying. *Do* you think men and women are interchangeable? I don’t. It’s not a religious thing, it’s a question of nature. If a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman, it doesn’t have the complementarity necessary for what is called marriage. Men and women are different physically an emotionally, but contrary to popular belief for centuries, that doesn’t make women inferior to men, it simply makes them different. I don’t see the value of pretending otherwise.
That being said, I’m not necessarily against the idea of a legal civil union, but please don’t call it marriage.
I will undoubtedly get angry or condescending comments from people who don’t agree with me, but I feel that this is a “hard thing” I have to do: acknowledge that I don’t go along with the crowd, and to try to explain why I see things differently.
You put my thoughts into words, more beautifully than I could have. I have struggled with the fact that though I believe that all people deserve to be treated equally, my belief is that marriage is between one woman and one man. I expect to continue to struggle with this, not because I feel that there is something wrong with my view, but that society views it as playing both sides of a much debated topic of personal beliefs and equality.
With all due respect, I’m so baffled by the semantic argument that gays should be allowed “civil unions” because marriage is for a man and a woman. It’s a distinction without a difference.
Marriage is a word. Words evolve, and they do mean different things to different people or in different situations. Gay simply meant happy, once upon a time.
Hi S.
I’m not going to jump all over you. You kindly stated your opinion.
I have read comments by others who feel the same as you enough
to understand that the word and definition is very important to you.
I come from the perspective of having a gay cousin who has been with
the love of her life for 29 years. After 10 years they had a wedding ceremony
in a church that accepted them. (they are not legally married in their state though)
They have 3 kids together. I love them all and feel that they are every bit as much of a
family as my family.
The state government grants marriage licenses. It is a legal document just like a driver’s license. I don’t think it’s fair to deny them that legal document and all the rights that come with it. The word marriage means something to them too. Telling them they can only have a civil union is trying to say “separate but equal”.
In the words of my cousin, “separate is never equal.”
I know this is hard on everyone and I feel for both sides.
If we could start the county and its laws over and grant everyone a “civil union” license and then leave it up to churches to grant marriage licenses perhaps that would be a better way to go. But it’s too late for that now. Our civil laws have the word “marriage” all through them.
I think we have to think of that as a legal term now and not just a word of the church.
Again, I know this is hard. I thank you for doing the hard thing and sharing your thoughts. How else can we try to understand each other better?
I’ll end with a quote I put on my profile pic of a red bridge today,
“Love builds bridges where there are none.”
(I’ve seen it before – not sure who first said it)
I never comment, but I just had to this time. I loved this write up. Loved it. The icing on the cake was the very ending in the PPS. I about actually laughed out loud. You’re right, it was the perfect ending. Thank you for writing this, it was very well done.
The first time I read this I sent the link directly to my beautiful, amazing, Christian, Republican, lesbian sister to try to put into words how much I love her and how I’d feel if my daughters were like her. Thank you for sharing this again today. To quote my fabulous sissy, we don’t need to be labeled, just loved!
Thanks for re-posting this letter, it’s beautiful.
Damn Straight! cant wait to re-read this later on tonight. Thanks G! xoxo
Love this. As shallow as it might sound the Nate Berkus part was my favorite.
Oh Glennon. As always, you take what is in my heart and put it into words so beautifully, so magically. Thank you for writing about the God we should all believe in – love for everyone. I too worry about the bullying crisis going on. I personally believe that there is something a friend called “the bully inside” that is the root source of all bullying. We all need to silence our bully inside before any real work can be done to banish the bullies outside. Your letter to Chase is the ultimate parental advice on banishing the bully inside. I hope parents everywhere take this letter and tailor it to their children to lift them up to the place of adoration that ALL of children deserve. Thank you, again, for warming my soul.
I have really enjoyed your posts and blogs, but this one has me questioning, I must say. To claim you are a Christian and yet don’t fully believe the bible doesn’t make sense to me. Christianity means to be a Christ follower…to follow all of him and all of his truths.
She didn’t say she didn’t believe in the bible. Her point is that NO ONE follows or believes in the bible in all respects, and no one knows how the original scriptures were intended to be translated, interpreted, or used, except God himself. If one “fully” believes in the bible as you put it, they you would believe that the penalty for raping an unmarried virgin should be that the rapist had to marry her. If one “fully” believes in the bible, as the author notes, women should be silent in church, should not wear adornments like jewelry and should have their heads covered. And my grandmother would tell you if you “fully” believe in the bible you do not consume alcohol at all, or EVER get a divorce even if your husband beats you to a pulp. But only some Christian religions subscribe to that notion. One can “fully” believe that one can be guided by the bible without taking every word that “might have been” written thousands of years ago (depending on the translation) as intended to be the literal truth. All Christians, whether they admit it or not use the wonderful book as a historical document providing guidance with intelligent consideration of its context. Incidentally, Christ said not one word about homosexuality.
He did say something about marriage though…. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female’. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
My personal opinion (influenced, no doubt, by how my understanding of how males work changed after I got married and really know my husband now) is that part of the reason God created marriage is for men and women, who are not the same inside even if that is what I was taught growing up, to understand each other better. I understand what it is like to be a woman, and having a man that I can be completely open and honest, naked and unashamed, with helps me understand what it is like to be a man. I’m not saying that anyone truly knows what it’s like to be someone else or that unmarried people are somehow ‘less than’ for not having that relationship, but I really don’t think that two men or two women together can fulfill what I see as a main reason for the institution of marriage. (I also think the only reason government has a stake in regulating marriage is for procreative reasons because children do best when raised by their biological mother and father and the ideal of monogamy and fidelity and the social taboo and expense of divorce all speak to that). I wish that I could see a biblical rational for gay marriage because I think long term committed relationships are better for people and society and I would hate to tell my straight kids ‘sexual purity is important and I expect you to strive for it while you are dating and sometime you will likely find an awesome partner and get to enjoy amazing sex when you are married’ and to tell my gay kids ‘sexual purity is important and I trust you to strive for it when you are dating just like your straight siblings but you will never get to enjoy amazing married sex’ but I really don’t feel like we can redefine it that way.
Glennon (and everyone else),
A few things.
I’m afraid we disagree about the infallibility of scripture. The Bible states that scripture is “God-breathed,” and is not subject to human error.
In my understanding, homosexuality (along with drunkenness and other sins) is called a sin, and bare hair and women speaking in church are not referred to as sin.
By nature, Christianity is divisive and judgmental: God cannot accept anything other than perfection from us, and since this is impossible on our own, only the perfect Christ can bring us close to God; those who are sinful need a Savior. Not everyone is in, Glennon, and that hard truth makes me thankful for my salvation, because I know I did nothing to deserve it.
No other sin right now demands so aggressively to be condoned. I am not condemning anyone to anything; we are all sinners, and I would certainly hope that my fellow Christians would not honor any of my requests to condone my sin, even if it offended me. Most Christians are not afraid that homosexual marriage will ruin marriage – they see homosexual unions not fitting into what marriage is.
If we truly are to not judge each other, than the appropriate response to both people who are homosexual and to the people who hate homosexuals should be love, correct? And since I obviously am of the opinion that homosexuality is one of the many ways to be separated from God, should I be hated, or simply disagreed with?
Yes, hate is ugly and bullying is vicious. Disagreement and hate are not synonymous.
I care about truth as much as you, Glennon, and just felt the need to speak the truth.
Thank you. You spoke so eloquently why I felt.
Jenn, I disagree with you and I don’t hate you! You’re in, too, baby. <3
Thank you for sharing this, I know most who disagree won’t bother to comment, because it is exhausting being labeled as hating all the time. I too love a lot of Glennon’s posts but I honestly weep inside over those she is leading astray. I know several people who are chosing a celibate life in Christ because they have are homosexually oriented and and I can’t imagine the struggles they have to endure, but am so proud and in awe of them! If only I could take some of my sin, sin that seems to be just as much a part of ‘who I am’ as one’s sexuality, as seriously as they do.
I don’t think think that Glennon is leading anyone astray. She may make a few minds and hearts think about their beliefs and examine their motives, but a person makes their own decisions. As much as I adore her, I don’t believe she has that much power! I love this post because it echoes the thoughts in my heart that I held long before I read Momastery. She puts into beautiful words the thoughts that I cannot always articulate clearly.
Yes, thank you Jenn. Disagreement does not equal hate or bullying. Seems like only one side of this discussion is being allowed at the moment…one could say that Christians are also being bullied for their beliefs on this topic and others.
Many, MANY Christians believe that the bible can be “inspired” but not “infallible”. Your belief in its infallibility is not any more or less Christian than mine (or Glennon’s) belief that it is inspired, but man made. When the book becomes more important than the God it describes then you have made it an idol.
As an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, I feel obligated to respond. Understanding the Bible in its historical context, and being aware of the numerous variations in translations and understanding of what our sacred texts mean, as Glennon does, does not mean that one questions the infallibility of the Bible. Rather, it means one understands that we who read it, those who have read it in the past, those who wrote it, and those who re-wrote it are not infallible and are not only subject to mistakes, but are actually prone to them. The Bible may be infallible, but it does not mean our understanding of it is.
At the time the scripture passage referenced was written (about scripture being “God-breathed”), none of what we call the New Testament was considered scripture. Because illiteracy was so high among the people at the time that passage was written, all writings (not only the ones that we call “scripture”) were considered “God-breathed” and it was believed that a special form of inspiration was needed: the ability to read and write.
Also, homosexuality is not listed as a sin in the Bible–there is no ancient Hebrew, Greek, or even Latin word for homosexuality because the concept did not exist until the 19th century.
Jesus instructed his followers, “People will know you are a follower of mine because you love one another.” Thank you, Glennon, for your beautiful words showing us how we can do that.
Rev. Bob-
From a practicing Catholic, I could not agree with you more. Thank you for sharing your knowledge of the history of inspiration and translation. Likewise, it needs to be understood that each church (or place of worship of any kind) in the United States will be given the right to determine whether or not to honor any marriage between two consenting adults. Is my marriage to my husband honored by the Catholic Church as Holy Matrimony (one of our sacraments)? Yes. Is my best friend’s honored in the Catholic Church? Nope, because she was married in a Lutheran Church and did not receive the sacrament in our church. Is she any less married than me? Not that I believe. Does she have the same legal rights as I do with her husband? Yes. Thank goodness!! Is she legally married in the same state as I am? Yes. Does the Catholic Church recognize it? No. Is that okay? I think so! Why? Because I’m human, she’s human, our husbands are human, we are consenting adults who happen to be married and have the legal benefits of marriage. I want the same for my friends who are gay. I wills also want the same for my children should they be gay (they’re too young now to know whether they’re gay or straight). I want my sons to take Love from the Catholic Church. I want them to KNOW love from their community, their home, their schools, their families no matter what their religion, political views, sexual orientation, or any other part that will make up the whole person that they are.
So, from one Christian to another, thank you for your eloquent response and thank you to the Original Author of this article. Now, on to bigger fish to fry… Literally… I have to prepare for the last Friday of Lent… and if you eat beef, I won’t find you to be any less Christian than I am… just a Christian who found a different inspiration than I did for this particular part… 🙂 (although fish fries aren’t in the bible). Hardy Harr…
I love this
Mary Beth –
I am also Catholic & will raise my children Catholic (one day) – I competely agree with you. Well said!
Romans is clear. 1 Corinthians is clear. And even if you argue that they’re not, the whole of the Bible speaks of man+woman as the intended design.
It’s not love to condone sin.
What we *want* for our gay family and friends is not the matter. Who they love is not the matter. I have faith that God is smarter than we are and knows better than we do…even when we don’t understand why. He said no, so it’s a no go.
Thank you for this post, Reverend Bob! Thank you, of course, to Glennon! Incredibly well said!
Thank you, Jenn!
Thank YOU Rev. Bob!!
Jenn – Your post says exactly what I was thinking. I love Glennon’s posts but my heart was sinking as I read her letter to her son. When we decide to pick and choose which parts of the bible we like and don’t like is when we can create our own style of religion. I do believe that we are not called to condemn and judge others and that we are are called to love God first and each other second. Everything else is secondary. Everything. But it doesn’t eliminate our need for salvation from our own sin. Each and every one of us. Someone else’s sin of homosexuality is the same as my sin of pride. Both sin. Not any worse or any better. We each have our own burdens.
Are you an expert in Hebrew or Greek? Have you done a complete exegesis of the passages that supposedly condemn homosexuality as sin? Do you understand the cultural implications of the time (male rape and prostitution) or the fact that there is actually no word for “homosexual” in either ancient language, therefore no New Testament passages specifically condemning homosexuality when appropriately translated and taken in context? Yet a foreign eunuch is baptized in Acts…
It is, as Rev. Bob said, the “Living Word” because we are to do our due diligence in exegesis by taking into consideration the Spirit, time, place, and giving Scripture it’s appropriate attention – NOT ripping passages out of context and making them into what is convenient for us. I know it must be SO much easier for you all to point at someone else’s sin that you have invented because it calls attention away from your own, but ALL of humanity is fallen and it really is a distraction that only hurts the church and God’s children.
Women were burned at Salem because people thought they were witches when they really had just eaten bad bread. People who had seizures were thought to be possessed by demons. We fear what we do not understand and label it as evil or sinful, even when it oftentimes is not. Sexual orientation is not a choice any more than being left-handed is a choice.
Desmond Tutu says it very well here in his letter to Gradye Parsons:
Dear Brother in Christ,
I am writing you with the request that you share these thoughts with my brothers and sisters in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.):
It is incumbent upon all of God’s children to speak out against injustice. It is sometimes equally important to speak in solidarity when justice has been done. For that reason I am writing to affirm my belief that in making room in your constitution for gay and lesbian Christians to be ordained as church leaders, you have accomplished an act of justice.
I realize that among your ecumenical partners, some voices are claiming that you have done the wrong thing, and I know that you rightly value your relationship with Christians in other parts of the world. Sadly, it is not always popular to do justice, but it is always right. People will say that the ones you are now willing to ordain are sinners. I have come to believe, through the reality shared with me by my scientist and medical friends, and confirmed to me by many who are gay, that being gay is not a choice. Like skin color or left-handedness, sexual orientation is just another feature of our diversity as a human family. How wonderful that God has made us with so much diversity, yet all in God’s image! Salvation means being called out of our narrow bonds into a broad place of welcome to all.
You are undoubtedly aware that in some countries the church has been complicit in the legal persecution of lesbians and gays. Individuals are being arrested and jailed simply because they are different in one respect from the majority. By making it possible for those in same-gender relationships to be ordained as pastors, preachers, elders, and deacons, you are being a witness to your ecumenical partners that you believe in the wideness of God’s merciful love.
For freedom Christ has set us free. In Christ we are not bound by old, narrow prejudice, but free to embrace the full humanity of our brothers and sisters in all our glorious differences. May God bless you as you live into this reality, and may you know that there are many Christians in the world who continue to stand by your side.
God bless you.
Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu (Cape Town, South Africa)
I smiled and nodded and laughed and cried and yelled DAMN STRAIGHT just like I did the first time I read this. Love your words so much, G.
AMEN!!
Thank you for this reminder and wonderful tool for families in teaching children one of life’s most difficult lessons. It begins at home, always.
May God Bless you on the tour! You will ROCK! Love will win!
Wow! Thank you for writing this!! I could not have put into words more perfectly how I feel. We have family members that are homosexual, and this post puts so wonderfully how I hope to treat them. This is the kind of person, and kind of Christian that I aspire to be in my life. Thank you!!!
It’s been a hard day for me, Glennon. I have a lot of facebook friends — 700 or so — and they are about equally divided between conservative and liberal. It’s hard to watch people misunderstanding each other so. I should have just turned the computer off, but I kept feeling like I wanted to understand more, wanted to do something to help others understand. But I don’t have the energy to engage in discussion, especially on this issue. So I’m feeling kind of useless, and frustrated, and sad. I guess maybe it’s enough for now to just show up and pay attention.
I felt similarly today, Jessica. I have FB friends with the brightly-colored = signs and I have friends who post about their Second Amendment rights and use a gun as their profile pic. I hate that there is so much pressure to be blue or red, left or right, one end of the spectrum or the other.
S. and Jessica,
We are all in the same boat. A frustrating, exhausting battle, the last few days. I stayed in bed a little longer and am leaving time for myself this afternoon. It’s okay to not have all the answers I think, and that is what I am saying cheers to today.
Love to all.
Jessica,
Just having that diverse set of friends you are doing something right I think.
And wanting to understand is HUGE I think, even if that took all your energy and you felt
you couldn’t engage.
Here’s what I posted with a profile picture of a red bridge today.
“I wanted to change this picture to show support for what I call Marriage Equality but I also wanted to say I understand that not everyone feels the same way.
We are all human beings and we all have value. If we can come from a place of respect for one another then maybe we can build a bridge of understanding even if we don’t agree.
I believe people can do that.
I believe in people at their core where love resides.”
The picture also had the words,
” Love builds bridges where there are none ”
Here’s to building bridges of understanding with love <3
Kerry, I love that. Thanks for the encouragement. And Jenn and S., too, thanks for responding. Jenn, good for you for giving yourself time to rest, process, and regroup. Love to all of you.
Jessica
Beautifully said, sharing with my hubby and kids.
This is so wonderfully written! I shared it with others in hopes that no matter what their view is, they need to see what it is teaching our children. I can’t believe that some people don’t see that they are bullying even as adults and don’t even understand what the kids around them are mirroring. This was such a great post!
I think this all the time… that God wouldn’t create people any which way that He didn’t think was amazing. Thanks for your eloquent words. Couldn’t have said it any better myself.
But what about child molesters and alcoholics for instance? If they’re born that way, does that make the behavior acceptable?
Is it really that difficult to see the difference between two consenting people in a healthy relationship versus someone who becomes a substance abuser or a child abuser? No one is being abused in the homosexual relationship. They don’t gay park their cars, or gay eat lunch. An alcoholic abuses a substance and cannot maintain relationships, has problems at work, is dependent on a substance…a pedophile (more often straight than gay people) abuses children and harms them.
Two consenting adults who are involved in a committed relationship? Being born a woman, a man, whether homosexual, heterosexual, transexual, left or right handed, deaf in one ear, with only one testicle, as a little person – none of those things are harmful, deviant, abusive characteristics in and of themselves.
I hear this analogy so often…well if someone is born a sociopath who rapes and murders is that okay too?? Well obviously not. Those people do not love, respect, and care for God’s creation. Alcoholics are not caring for themselves (and usually others in their lives) – God’s creation. Pedophiles are doing irreparable damage to God’s little children.
Committed, loving gay couples, many who adopt special needs children because they know what it is like to be unwanted and bullied? I think they are doing a wonderful job caring for each other and God’s children and setting an example of what the church should do if it really believed in a consistent pro-life stance and taking care of all of His children. There isn’t any toxic “behavior” there, only a loving family.
I was responding to the assertion that if you’re born with a behavior, it must be good and ok because God created it that way. No. There are plenty of natural tendencies that we all have to learn to suppress.
Re: alcoholics, there are those who are sober, who struggle for a lifetime to avoid the slavery of alcoholism. Sex is actually very similar in that it can also be abused. It can define a life and become as addicitve and destructive as alcohol if not more.
Your assertion that homosexuality is not harmful/deviant is a new opinion that differs from the prevailing opinion of the world throughout history.
Proponents would like to keep the focus on commited couples, but there are many gay couples who are not committed to fidelity in the traditional sense and are hoping to redefine marriage: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/29/us/29sfmetro.html?_r=0
Love wins! It starts at the kitchen table and that’s where bullying ends, too. Reminds me of the vid from the WKBT anchor from La Crosse, WI. Kids only bully if that’s what they’re taught.
Kudos for your thorough and loving explanation of the Bible. I once read a Mom’s 11 page explanation to her son on how to his own laundry. This is way~~~ better. Way better.
Thank you~
This is beautiful. Truly beautiful. As a kindergarten teacher in a public school, parents throw the word “bully” around like it’s nothing. One child calls another a name, and they are a bully. Another takes a child’s swing on the playground and they are a bully. I know what a bully is, I have seen it, and those children are not it. What it IS, is the child of that parent, calling everyone ELSE a bully, blaming everyone else for her child’s behavior, when her child is kicking, and scratching, and manipulating, and being defiant. A parent who’s child is mirroring their behavior, their home life, how they treat others in front of them.
There are so many children who come from hard places. I have taught many children who come from hard places. Rarely do I see these children as bullies. Yes, without the proper intervention they can be, but that’s a whole other conversation. Most of the time Children From Hard Places are pure gold, and just need love, help, counseling, love, and more counseling. Add some extra love and a lot of patience, and hopefully, HOPEFULLY they will be okay. Or, as my yoga instructor said tonight, “perfectly imperfect”. But not bullies.
Being a mama is hard. Being a dad is hard. Being a caregiver is HARD! But, these children need us for guidance. As a teacher, I can do what I can. I can read the books and have the talks and act out scenarios and model behavior… but, at the end of the day those kiddos go HOME. And that’s where most of their social teaching takes place.
As a teacher of young children and as a mom of a toddler who fights hard every day for my son to be a good person despite all of the crap that is thrown his way, I can’t tell you how much I love this post.
Erica, I love your comment. I’m an elementary school counselor and have such a difficult time with the word “bully” for exactly the reasons you described. I know it takes a village to raise a child, but at some point we also need to take responsibility for our actions and the behavior we model. The day a mother yelled at me for not doing enough to keep her child out of trouble was the biggest eye-opener I’ve had in awhile.
Still my favourite post. Thanks for sharing again. It’s pretty awesome that society is at least willing to start paying attention to our own prejudices. We have a long way to go but I’m encouraged by the hope of acceptance by people here and around me. Beautiful;)
Oh this is just so beautiful! The most beautiful articulation of the God I believe in! Thank you so for writing so beautifully and for sharing it with all of us!
Heaven on EARTH! Girl, that is what you are! This goes in your BOOK 2! LOVE LOVE LOVE!! And laughing over “damn straight”!
Thank you thank you thank you.
I want to print this and send it to some Christians that I know (family members, most of them), because I think you have captured what faith really is. I am constantly broken by Christians who profess love, but then add the correlary or the excuse of un-love.
Love love love love love I want to share it, just love, and nothing else.
AMEN!
Still and always will be my favorite. Perfect re-post. Thanks Glennon.
[…] Christian, I have a young daughter who most certainly is. Whether I buy into it all 100% or not, this post from Momastery represents everything that I could not myself properly articulate, but truly and […]
G,
As a mom to a daughter (22 years old) who is gay, I love this! I’ve read your letter to Chase several times, and I tear up each time. I am so proud to be her mom that I can barely contain it. I think about the times she felt “not right” (her words), and it makes me teary-eyed every time! Her dad and I want only the best for her and her younger sister, and we want what all parents should want for their child: to fall in love with someone who treats them with kindness, respect, and loves them for who they are!
Thank you again for putting in words exactly how I feel.
Valerie
Your response made me cry. I have a three year old son and you’re right– all I want for him is for him to be happy and someday end up with someone who thinks he’s awesome, & treats him with kindness, love, & respect.
Thank you! It’s hard sometimes to say exactly how I feel, but G absolutely did it with her “letter” to Chase.
Glennon – Thank you for reposting this today. This was what led me to you and the monkees and the momastery in the first place. I love it even more today than I did before. xoxoxoxo
beautiful words. love love love. thank you.
I think this is the most wonderfully enlightened thing I have ever read on acceptance and love. Mostly because it is chock full of things I have said myself, numerous times! Kudos to you and Thank You for posting something so heartfelt and just plain old full of truth! I wrote this quote a while ago after reading an article about how a brain surgeon had cellular proof that inside we are all the same:
“we are all equal from the inside out. we are amazing in how every one of us is the same at our core construction and yet simultaneously unique. we are each a gift in our own right. it’s not the wrapping on the present that counts or where it came from; it is what’s behind the gift and, therefore, what’s inside that matters.” ~me
I enjoyed reading your post and feel I am better because of it. Now I am going to go hug each of my children and call all of my friends to tell them how very much they are each loved, just the way they are. 🙂
Wow. This is powerfully written. Thank you for your thoughts about how we all pick and choose from Scripture (hopefully with some heartfelt wrestling)…and your compassionate and INSIGHTFUL view on marginalized people and how it trickles down. The cool thing is that Love trickles, too…and I can’t even imagine how great your kids might just turn out to be.
Rock on…and thanks for your powerful and well put words.
Don
p.s. Man I wish you and your husband lived across the street from me.
AMEN!!!!!!!!! I am so proud to know that there are others out there who want love over hate, acceptance over tolerance, real faith vs. religious doctrine. I was attacked today by a family member over my profile picture and I thank you, Glennon, for reminding me of why I feel the way I do and reinforce the fact that I am not alone. I EMBRACE LOVE, BABY! 🙂 That is the only way I will be able to look my kids in the eye.
I have read this over 5 times!!!! Love love love it!!!
the only thing I love more than this post is reading the comments. Seriously getting all choked up here <3
This is the first post of yours I’ve read and it rocked my ‘religion is not for me’ world. I’ve always had a problem with the statement “Jesus Loves Everyone” and then there is always a comma after and not a period. I believe in God. I would love to find a church that I can identify with. But honestly the people I run across that are Christians are so judgmental. This? This is perfectly perfect. I want to go to your house for church. The basis of all my decisions is love. mercy & love. judgement has no place in this world and it’s not in my life. Thank you so much for this. So so much. I can’t even explain the way it restored my faith in people.
I can so relate in everything you just said too!
Kristi,
There are a lot of us out there who are Christians but refuse to let the judgment, divisions, and hate creep in. This is what Jesus wanted- this is what it was meant to be. Everything Glennon said. Welcome to the real faith!! 🙂
Kristi – may I suggest checking out the United Church of Christ, and specifically an open and affirming congregation. I believe that’s the kind of church you are looking for.
ucc.org
Kristi, I second Brian’s recommendation to look for a United Church of Christ congregation. UCC brought me back to religion after many years of disillusionment with conservative interpretations. See the post by Rev. Bob (UCC) elsewhere on this page. Also check out “Unfundamentalist Christians” on Facebook, and this progressive Christian website: http://www.patheos.com/Progressive-Christian
Kristi,
I hope you find a faith you can enjoy. If people spent more time just following Jesus… There is an amazing sermon on my church’s site that I think you would enjoy – it really hits home about how so many people love Jesus but can’t stand Christians and the church. It’s from Rev. Dr. Buchanan, titled “To Be a Christian” from 11/6/11.
http://www.first-scots.org/media.php?pageID=29
Jack Rogers’ book I mentioned in another post, “Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality…” also includes a list of inclusive churches. UCC (mentioned here), ELCA, the Episcopal Church, and others (PCUSA is getting there – look for a Covenant Network Church or just inquire about the church’s beliefs).
If you don’t care to look for a church, check out books by Anne Lamott (Grace Eventually, Traveling Mercies, Plan B). She is HILARIOUS and a flamingly liberal Christian writer with the funniest stories about everything.
Carrie
Thank you! I shared this on facebook. I don’t tend to talk much about gay marriage on my blog or on facebook, because I don’t want to stir up controversy. I’m pretty non-confrontational. But your letter to Chase echoed my thoughts exactly about my son, Leland. I just want him – and everyone else – to be happy. As long as they’re not hurting anyone else, who am I to judge?
Thank you so much! You are a person of true faith, in your God, your family, in human beings. Suddenly, I’m a better person for having read this.
Beautifully said. All children deserve this kind of love, and this kind of example.
Glennon, every time you tackle religion, I feel like you’re writing from my heart. I want to shout to the world, “Listen to this woman!” I could read and read what you have to say. Thank you for putting it in to words. Thank you for writing today.
So wonderful to read this piece again today of all days. Thank you for this and so much more.
Whoa. I dig this whole post so much I can hardly deal.
And Nate makes you do those things, too? I thought I was the only one. That tricky, adorable man…
Beautiful, I am sending it out to lots of people.
I just started following your blog a few weeks ago, but this letter forces me to comment. I’ve been enjoying your posts and inspired by acts of kindness, but until now I was a but wary – I feared that the “warm fuzzy” feelings and inspiration would be soured by a post filled with hate for someone who is “other”. (An attitude that has kept me away from organized religion as an adult.
I live in Canada, and the media would have us believe that people who are generous of spirit towards ALL people – even those who live or worship in a different way – are rare or extinct in among those who call themselves Christian.
Thank you for proving the widely repeated lies false. Thank you for affirming that I can (and should) continue to aspire to be among the “Monkees”
Sarah, I have to tell you I felt the same way when I first got here. “Well, THIS is too good to be true.” Time passed, and my first Love Flash Mob came around, and I was like, “This might just be the real deal.” Then “Holiday Hands” happened this year, and I full-on DRANK THE KOOL-AID, friend. I realized, “These ladies–not just Glennon but this whole community–are IT. And I’m not going to worry or hold back my heart. I’m going full Monkee.”
Oh, and *thank you* for extending us Christians grace and forgiveness for ways we have failed to love. That is a great skill, one I’m not as good at as I’d like to be.
Oh my gosh, “I’m going Full-Monkee”– that’s awesome! I just laughed out loud. I love this group.
So utterly, completely, beautifullty written. “..love others as yourself.” Word. xx
Can I just say how beautiful I thought this was? What an incredible reminder that tolerating people isn’t enough. I love how you said people are to be celebrated. You are so right. Each person is individually loved by God no matter what race, religion, or sexual orientation. It’s only fitting that we should love people as He would. Thank you for sharing this!
What a beautifully written post. Thank you for taking the time to share this post!
I swore I wouldn’t post again,but by god,this is GENIUS. Equal mean equal means equal means equal. Love one another means love one another means love one another means love one another. No exceptions. Everyone, gay or straight or green or Muslim or Klingon. If we can’t get past these minor bumps, how will we ever engage in fixing the major ones. I pray that God brings the USSC to the right decision.
all of this!
Wow – beautiful.
AMEN! AMEN! Shout it from the roof tops Sister!
THIS, THIS, THIS is what should be shouted from the mountaintops and shared from behind all pulpits and alters and gathering places on Sundays [and every other day]
This is my favorite post of yours, EVER! So good to read today as I’m wondering what the Supreme Court will decide about prop 8. I wonder if you’re familiar with Matthew Vines?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-vines/bible-homosexuality_b_1378368.html
His hour long talk, which examines biblical references to homosexuality in great depth, is well worth the time to watch.
Wonderful wonderful wonderful
This should be required reading for every prospective or current parent
Beautiful. Read and reread, love it more each time! Thank you for sharing. I prayed this morning that I would find the perfect quote to express my views as a christian that believes in and loves God that also believes wholeheartedly in marriage equality and equality in general. This is exactly my heart. Thank you so much.
I really do love your writing. Happy LOVE Day!
My favorite post of all time! This is the one that led me to Momastery, G. I love, love, LOVE it. So much. Thank you for the reminder that I may feel powerless to things on the outside, but I am capable of changing the world on the inside, with my myself and most importantly with my children. This business of raising human beings is HARD WORK, because it’s so, so important to teach them things like how to love everybody, even those who are different from them, which on the surface might feel a little scary at first.
On the topic of bullying, one my students suggested I go on youtube and watch “To This Day Project” by Shane Koyczan. It is super powerful. If you haven’t seen it, go watch! You would love it.
Peace and love to you!
And this post is why I love you, G. I have long struggled with my own notions of religion and “Christians” who are judgemental. You are a Christian in the truest sense that I can think of.
I LOVE THIS
It is actually pretty wonderful when someone else says something exactly as your own heart as been saying it. And when I’m surrounded by so many people who are saying something else, it is beautiful, and healing, and exhilarating when I find out I’m not alone in my heart thoughts.
Thank you.
love, Love, LOVE this!
I had forgotten HOW MUCH I LOVE this letter to Chase. Just like the other Nicole said, it’s like you read my heart. I could not have said it better. Love you Glennon.
I could, and should, read this every. damn. day.
And post it, every. damn. day.
Because there is something I take away, every. damn. time.
And there are lots of people who need to take something- anything- away from this message all. the. damn. time.
love, love, love and (I’m not even “Christian”)
I know! Me either and yet this speaks to me on such a profound level.
YES. yes exactly. i find that with most of Momastery posts, but especially this one.
This is when I first fell in love with you, Glennon.
Brilliantly and Beautifully written G!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!
Amen, sister Warrior!
This is beautiful beyond words. I’m crying as I read it, remembering an afternoon, in our car, in our garage, when my husband and I were discussing the “what ifs” of our future children.
I’m going to invite him to read this. It’s like you read my heart.
Loved it the first time I read it and I loved it all over today. Thanks for reposting!