Smart parents give their children a million answers. Wise parents ask their children a million questions. And so smart parents might know, but wise parents understand.
I love it when someone asks me a thoughtful question for three reasons. First, it shows that the other person cares enough to try to get to know me. Second, it shows curiosity – which is one of my favorite traits. Third, a thoughtful question offers me the opportunity to unlock rooms inside myself I’ve never explored before.
Getting to know ourselves and others is the greatest adventure. We are explorers of ourselves and the people we love. Love is the ongoing process of unlocking each other and keeping safe whatever we find. Thoughtful questions are the keys we use to do the unlocking and safekeeping.
Besides myself and Craig – there are three people I want to understand more than I want anything else in the world. Their names are Chase, Tish, and Amma. These three are beautiful mysteries and loving them is the greatest adventure of my life. I just want to spend my whole life exploring their hearts and minds. So I do all the right things. I plan for exploring time: Family Dinners! Dates with mommy! Perfect. But then I sit down with my kid. There we are, looking at each other over a table with nothing between us but open space and time and love . . . and I cannot think of a single interesting thing to ask them. I got nothing. I’m a mother, so I’m tired. It’s just impossible to be creative when you’re tired. And so here’s what I end up saying: “So – how was your day?” Every parent knows that this rusty “how was your day” key doesn’t work but we keep trying it because it’s the only one we can find.
The trouble is that keys are only useful if you can get your hands on them.
SO LISTEN. I have good news. Tish’s teacher sent home a “Conversation Jar” filled with interesting questions that the students in Tish’s class created. I put this jar on the kitchen table and a few times a week, we take turns pulling out a question during dinner. THIS JAR HAS MAGICAL POWERS. It’s been months now and still, every time we open it – everyone at the table wakes up a little bit. Little eyes flicker back to life, folks sit up straight in their seats, the arguing stops, and it’s all “me firsts! Can I answer first, mom??” Even the tween, people. Even the tween. People want to be known. People want to be known so badly.
And so I reach in and pull out a key: “If you were an inventor – what would you invent, and why?” And then it’s quiet for a moment. Everyone makes her thinking face. They are searching themselves. They are looking inside to see what they’ll find and as soon as they find it: there it is – their hands fly up and they say: “I know I know!!” And then they pull something out of themselves that they didn’t even know was there. Look! Look what I found inside of me! And the family laughs or nods and either way we are saying: wow, that is so cool. I didn’t even know that about you! I didn’t even know that room inside of you existed. There are a billion little rooms inside each of your children that remain locked up, unexplored, and a good question can lead you right inside. 
I love this jar because it livens up our evenings and helps me know my babies better – but it doesn’t end there. HERE IS AN IMPORTANT PART: Kids who learn to be self aware tend to become others aware and world aware. We want our children to understand themselves, the people in their lives, and the world they live in. This kind of awareness is what makes a good citizen. So we’ve written questions that unlock awareness on all three levels. You will notice that some of these questions ask a child to look within (What was your first thought when you woke up today?), others ask her to consider her peers (Who in your class seems lonely?) and others ask her to look at the world (What do you think is the biggest challenge facing our world today?). Kids must become explorers of themselves first, and then their eyes open to other people in their lives. It’s a process, teaching curiosity, awareness and compassion. This jar is a start.
I wanted to give you this gift. I said to myself: SELF! WE ARE GOING TO TEACH THE WORLD HOW TO MAKE THIS MAGICAL JAR! But then I picked it up and as soon as I realized ribbon was involved—I decided I was out of my league. But then I remembered that I might not have ribbon, but I HAVE MY COUSIN, ERIN.
FRIENDS, MEET ERIN!!!!!
Hello! It is so nice to meet you all today. Listen, I’ve never been a lucky person, but I truly hit the jackpot when I married my husband and won the family that came along with him. Shortly after meeting, Glennon and I developed a quick connection, bonding over our shared love of writing and teaching (the heart-ish side of it, not the craft-ish side of it, because: ribbons).
As a teacher, I often hear parents lament that their children, when asked what they did at school today, reply, “Nothing.”
Every morning, when I think about how much “nothing” I want to accomplish with my school kiddos, I return to this Dalai Lama quote again and again:
“It is vital that when educating our children’s brains,
we do not neglect to educate their hearts.”
This quote has lived in my teacher heart for awhile, and it now resides in my mama heart. And it lives in this jar.
Sure, these questions will jump start their tiny thinking caps, but more importantly, these little keys will unlock what lives in their hearts. The amazing thing about a key is that it has the ability to unlock doors but at the same time keep things safe. As a mom and a teacher, I can’t think of a better way to keep our people safe than to KNOW them. Knowing what makes them love, hurt, feel, help, and dream is the best safekeeping we’ve got.
So, this jar. You guys, it is so very simple:
- Click here to download the jar kit and the questions.
- Print the questions and cut them apart.
- Place the questions in a jar like this, and keep that jar handy for the sacred shared moments with your kids.
- Watch the nothings become everythings.
You’ll notice there are 2 sets of questions. That’s because once you realize the beauty that is this jar, you will want to carry it everywhere with you. But we can’t do that. People might talk.
Instead, print out that second set and find your fanciest Ziploc baggie. Voila – Car conversations have never been so simple.
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You guys, I think sometimes the reason we don’t know what’s going on in each other’s lives is that we don’t ask.
Will you try this with us? And if you comment: could you leave a question that might be a key to a special place in a kids’ heart that might go otherwise unopened? We’ll keep them all for when we all need Key Jar refills!
HAPPY EXPLORING!
G and Erin
PS Isn’t Erin remarkable? You can find more of her inspiring teaching tools here. Also, did you notice? No ribbon. She loves me.
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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337 Comments
What a wonderful gift! Thank you so much for sharing.
My Grand daughter loves to hear stories of when Gammy was little. She doesn’t much care what kind or what age. I try to remember ones that are geared towards her current age (what ever that might be) or a little older – if there is a lesson in it.
Thank you for the meaningful questions for quality conversation! Shared on my FB. Gonna print them! : )
I love using questions to open Hearts because it’s also a way to become more like Jesus. He asked so many effective questions, and even answered questions with another question. In Hebrew culture, this was a way of showing respect for the other person’s intellect. The wisest person wasn’t the one with the best answer, it was the one with the best question.
That’s how it is with our kids too. When I ask instead of tell, there’s so much more receptiveness and tenderness. One question We ask when we’ve hurt each other is “what do I owe you?” This acknowledges the hurt and focusses the conversation on actively restoring relationship.
Love this love this love love this!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!! Just what I have been looking for!
Thank you G and Erin! I’m always looking for ways to get to know my girls better.
What is your favorite game and why?
I can see using these for some of my Gifted and Talented students – they can write responses to these. What a great way to help them increase and improve their writing skills.
While mowing the lawn today, I was thinking about Mother’s Day crafts I could do at school, I’m a 3rd-5th grade teacher. This is perfect! What mother doesn’t want to know more about their child(ren).
Yes it’d be so great to have like ‘key jar questions’ geared towards toddlers, children, tweens, teens, etc..
I can’t decide which I like more….the idea or the dialog you’ve created here.
Women helping women, doesn’t get any better!
Me too. Isn’t it just fab 🙂
LOVE this idea….
It would be nice to have one of these geared towards teens.
If anyone has ideas for questions for teens please share!
Teens often feel that adults are missing it, so questions like ” What do you want me to know about that?” Or “what should I be paying more attention to?” Give them a chance to let you in and let them know you value their perspective.
Also when they ask a question, often want permission to voice their thoughts, so it works great to answer their questions with another neutral, simple question like “What do you think?” Or “What’s your take on that?”
That is a great idea. I have a tween and a teen and anything I can do to continue the conversation with them and understand what is going on inside those minds and hearts that are going lightspeed toward adulthood, will be great. Thank you for the suggestions.
Thank you! This is such a valuable tool and be incorporated into so many different situations!
This is beautiful and is being shared in England! Thank you for the inspiration and sharing the chance for us all to listen to the beauty and creativity inside a child’s mind. If I added a question it would be; If there were no rules, how would you choose to spend a 24 hour day? Best wishes to all x
when i try to download the link to get the template it says it isnt available
I got a great “game” similar to this at Target last year fro Christmas. I use it every night at dinner and it gets the same reaction =) Nice to see a teacher incorporating this into her class and students homes.
A GREAT tool for couples as well – we all need conversation starters from time to time and you would be AMAZED what you will learn about your partner — just when you thought you knew EVERYTHING.
I loved this a LOT! I ended up making my own blank template to add more questions to my jar… Really appreciate you making this available!!
I love this idea! I have a three year old grandson who lie ves to talflowerout things at bedtime.we have actually been doing this and I didn’t even know.
Here are some of my questions.
If love were a _______ (ie: color, flower, feeling, song, person, taste, smell, etc.) What would it be? Why?
What or who made you laugh today?
If you had special powers and you could make something happen in the world what would it be? Why?
If you could do anything you wanted right this minute, what would you do? Why?
If you had a rocket ship in your backyard, where would you go? Who would you like to go with you? If you could only take three of your favorite things with you what would they be?
I love this and want to somehow incorporate it into my 8th grade ELA classroom!
In the “it’s never too late” column…I am totally using this idea for my telephone conversations with my 25 year old who lives thousands of miles away. So often our chats are filled with the boring busy-ness of life and they often trail off with nothing meaningful being said (except “I love you”) but this is just what I needed and didn’t know it! Thank you! I can’t wait!
Love it!
I am a LCSW/Social Worker. I am using this in therapy. I love that they get to choose the question themselves (even though it is ‘random’ from the jar, THEY get to choose) so it doesn’t seem like they are being grilled by the therapist so much. Thank you for the download!
I love it! I went to scrapbook class that decorated a jar to put questions in. They had some premade questions and a few blank ones to make more questions.
Our favorite is what animal best represents you and why?
I love this. Not just for school, but for home. Even if it doesn’t bring self awareness, it will make a child feel loved.
My question would be were you or did you see someone who needed a friend today? What made you feel that way and how could you help make it a little better day?
As the mom of a 5 year-old son with Asperger’s, this is a fantastic idea. In our house conversation is not always a two-way street, but I’m hopeful that this will spark discussion and pull some amazing things out of my child’s phenomenal brain. Thank you for the love lesson!
My son is 13, but he also has Asperger’s, and you took the words right out of my mouth! I hope it goes really well for you and your son. 🙂
I know sometimes it can be challenging, but I wanted to take a minute to encourage you, since my son is older. God gave YOU your son for a reason…he knew you’d be able to love him better than any other mom on this world! (even on days when you feel like you’ve failed!) It is pretty amazing to see how my son has grown over the years, and I pray your journey goes well (ty not to worry too much about the bumps and curves along the way). Your son is blessed to have a mom who cares so much, as evidenced by your eagerness to do this project in order to learn more about him.
My son is 29…and for years my husband and I believed he’d live with us forever and though we were sad for the experiences he would never have, we knew we could love our lives with him there. But he went to college…and graduate school…and lives in his own place and is in love…and though the people where he works at a low-paying, entry-level job will probably never promote him (though he’s interviewed for 20+ positions and believes every time that this will be “it”) because of his inability to be anyone but himself…he has a job and benefits and is “doing life” on his own. Believe….believe! The process may be slower and things may never go according to your plan, but life will keep unfolding for my child and yours because of His plan, of course!
Thanks, Glennon! Such a great idea. My kids and their friends love playing a game they call “Hot Seat”. Two minutes for each kid to be in the hot seat and asked as many questions as the group can fit in. They start silly, plaid or stripes?, but it’s amazing how deep the questions can get. Everyone one really does just want to be known and loved.
This is outstanding! Thank you so much! There are so many dinners when we are at a loss for what to talk about. This is just such a great way to generate quality conversation, and really explore one another. I love it so much. It reminds me of the If books. One of my favorite question from that book was, “If you could have lunch with one person from history, who would it be, and what would you talk to him or her about?”
These make wonderful morning writing prompts for Elementary School.
Thank you so much for this wonderful resource. I will be using it with my own family and also during a therapeutic group I facilitate for children with experience of homelessness and family violence. I am always on the look out for resources and this looks exactly the kind of thing I need.
Often with our children and the children at my work, we do an activity called ‘Roses and Thorns’ where everyone has the chance to share a Rose – a good thing about their day, something that made them feel happy, special, loved etc and then a Thorn which is something that wasn’t so good. The kids absolutely love it and always a favourite with our children’s friends when they come for dinner 🙂
What kind of person do you want to be when you are an adult? This comes in handy when they make bad choices or need to make a decision. You can ask them if it is in line with what they themselves stated.
I almost forgot to say thank you so very much for this gift. This really will be a revolution of love spread far and wide!
I love this and I don’t even have kids! I do have lovely Godchildren and some kids I babysit for though. I will definitely be using some of these questions. I will also send this to my God daughter who is training to be a Primary school teacher.
I love the idea! The last page of the PDF says “error loading this page”… is there anything you or I can do to fix it?
Omigosh Glennon! I have jars from many MANY years ago! I have 6 different jars and was going to share the questions for others because it makes it so much easier for busy mommies to just print and cut. But alas, I’m back in college, tutoring other students, and well, there’s not enough of me to go around. LOL
This post gave me the oomph to finally type them all out and share. We all need a little help from our friends.
I LOVE THIS! We have a game we play at dinner called Sweet, Sour, and Service. Each of us tells something sweet(kind etc) we did that day. We then tell our sour; an experience or someone’s actions that made us feel sad. And finally we tell of a service we provided that day. This has been an amazing, eye opening experience for our family and I LOVE hearing what my children share from their days and hearts. I am making your key jar tomorrow. Thanks for the great idea 🙂
I love this idea. Sweet, Sour and Service. That’s something I can remember!
Every night (that we gather at our dinner table) I ask my kids to share their “Kind, Brave, Grateful” for the day. Sound familiar? I combined Glennon’s brilliant words about kind and brave being all you needed each day with the fact that acknowledging what we are grateful for on a daily basis makes you happier. They share at least one time when they were kind or brave that day, or what they are grateful for. It’s simple and easy and it gives them all a chance to think, respond, and be seen and heard with no interruptions! It’s been lovely and it’s super easy to remember. But I love this for when we have the time for a bigger discussion. Thanks! I want to teach my kids to know their heart and this sounds like a good place to start.
Just asked my 6 year old what he thought the biggest challenge we were facing in the world today was he said “being kind”. Also what he loves most about himself is going potty and wants to invent a lego store lol. Awesome
what were you most brave about today
What do you want us to know about you
The ball is already set in motion and we will be making these with our third graders for their moms for Mothers Day. This is a Title 1 school and a lot of challenging family dynamics but I am going to pray over these jars that good conversations can come. Thank you so much!!!!!!!!
love this! My question:
What is your favorite memory?
? What was the nicest thing someone did for you today? OR What was the nicest thing you did for someone today?
I am so overwhelmed and amazed by all of the awesome, amazing, beautiful comments on this post! Your ideas for new questions is so very impressive and awe-inspiring–so very many “I wish I would have thought of that!” moments over here, people! I am feeling so very, very humbled and appreciative of Glennon and the Momastery team for gifting me this privilege of sharing the love with all of you. Question on, Sisters!
What is something funny that you saw or heard today?
What is something strange you saw or heard today?
If you could be siblings with anyone who would you pick?
What do you want your wife/husband to be like?
I LOVE this idea! My son is ten and is already using the one word replies (no, yes, sometimes, fine… ;). I too, struggle with creative questions to ask him, though I long to know him deeply. Thank you for sharing this fabulous idea! I just printed it out and am making the jar now! Ta!
I really like this idea, and am planning on making a key jar to use when my 9-year old stepdaughter is here. She only answers with yes, no, or I don’t know. So this should be a good experiment.
The question that I would put in this jar is “What place (or places) do you feel the most safe and loved? Why?”
I would probably also ask “What thing(s) in this world do you think are the most beautiful?’ My stepdaughter happens to be very artistic, but she is extremely non observant of her surroundings. At 9, I could have driven the car home from school because I knew where I was. She has absolutely no clue where the park is. (across the street…) So I want to know what kinds of shapes, objects, colors, etc are beautiful to her, and then would follow up asking “where have you seen these things before?”
Has she had her vision checked? Just a thought.
Yes. She’s near sighted and has glasses. She still can’t see past the end of her nose.
Love, love, love.
LOVE IT! My daughter is only 1 and usually answers my questions with a yeah or no, but it works. I’m going to print and save this for when she’s older.
My question: What thoughts, ideas, or questions are forming in the back of your head? The ones that only come to the forefront for a quick glimmer while you are taking a shower or walking to school?
I sent this to my daughter’s teacher right when I saw it this morning and she said she put it together during her 20 minute lunch and used it at sharing time. She said it was absolutely beautiful to watch and made her tear up. All the kids were so sincere with their answers and everyone listened so well. She loved it! I can’t wait to put it together to use at home!
If you could choose an animal to speak, which animal would you choose and why? Is there something you’ve been wanting to say to it or learn about it?
I would like to make approximately 30 of these to sell at a fundraiser for Family Promise of Forsyth County. The proceeds will be donated to a day shelter for the 700+ homeless children in our county. Just checking to see if this would be a problem! Also making a jar for each of my children’s families!
What’s your favorite time of day to be outside? Why?
I just put these all into my phone (that goodness for the microphone function!) so I’ll have them w/ me whenever I want to strike up a conversation w/ my kids. Great idea!
Awesome idea!
Wow-I may have a new favorite jar! My first jar is quickly filling up with stories and one liners that my children have shared that we will read on New Years Eve as a special way to end the year. But this new jar may be even more important because it will start conversations that will help all of us get to know each other better:-)
I love your “story/one liner” jar idea! I think I may start something like that too! My 3 year old finds some crazy things in his brain and they sure do make me laugh/smile.
I’m going to change it up and try it with my husband – the kids may be a little too grown up for this, but we two can probably learn plenty about one another, right?
Kids are never too old, especially if you are thinking of doing this with hubby! I’m trying to decode how to incorporate this into my eighth grade classroom (while still being sensitive, but getting something more from my students! But, I also want to use it at home with my hubby and 10 year old son!
Definitely trying this. I am always short of the right questions to ask when we are together and I am so looking forward to having these conversations with my tweens.
My children have been home schooled up to this point, but starting in the fall my oldest three will be attending a Montessori school. I’m excited to make this jar and have this sweet conversations with them!
Key Jar question: Do you have a favorite stuffed animal, blanket or toy that makes you feel protected and safe? What is it and why does it make you feel protected and safe?
THANK YOU for this absolutEly priceless treasure….just what I needed to reconnect with my son…..:)
My son & I are always talking about the concept of serving others, and not just the people you like and who like you back. So often I ask him, “was anyone in your class having a hard day today?” Sometimes it’s him but mostly it’s someone else, and we talk about what an individual (my son) could possibly do to brighten the other child’s day. We are always thinking on new strategies because he tries them and they may not work, but he really wants to help all the kids he knows. He is very gentle hearted, as I strive to be as well. Children can teach adults a lot- I have taught middle & high school & university students too. There is always something to learn from other people. Thanks for this wonderful post, I have a jar begging to be used 🙂
Glennon, do you realise that you have given for free what many would set up behind a pay wall?
You and Erin are both beautiful souls for making this happen. <3
Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful idea. I am going to make two jars, one for my house and one for school. We have a group of kiddos that come to our classroom each morning before the school day begins and we make sure they have an adult connection each morning and are ready for their school day (clothing, snack, grooming, homework, etc.). This would be a great way to open up some wonderful and meaningful conversations with our little ones and will communicate to them that we care about what they have to say.
Again another treasured nugget! Thank you for continually helping us be better people. Question for the jar…”What makes you smile when you think about your family/brother/sister/etc?”
Thank you for this! I am a mental health therapist for kiddos and their families and I am thinking I will make a bunch of these out and perhaps give them to each new client/family as part of my parenting speech/ideas etc! What a wonderful job and idea you two have created! (I also can’t wait to use this at home!!)
Tailored therapeutic questions could consist of questions regarding feelings, social skills, role play prompts, and so much more!!
ME TOO Justina! I’m a therapist, and this sounds like a GREAT idea to use with our families. Sorry for the caps – I’m genuinely excited about this! I will also be using it at home. 🙂
I think we should have a set of questions for husbands and wives. Honestly, if I hear “how was you day” one more time!!!
I think we should develop a set of questions for husbands and wives! Honestly, if I hear the question “how was your day” one more time….
I love this! I so wish I would’ve had the internet when my older kids were young. We used to do a “thankful” at the dinner table. Everyone had to say at least one thing they were thankful for in that day.
I think I’ll do this for my business. I work for this donut shop/coffee shop that has games and books for people to enjoy while they’re here. I think it would be cool to provide a pen and paper for people to add their own questions to the jar.
Love this idea!!
This is great! I can see these questions as great conversation starters for adults too! (with some tweaking)
My question:
What did you see that was beautiful today?
I have thought about doing this before because I have 4 kids and I desperately want to know them better and also establish myself and my husband as trustworthy to talk to…
but the problem I have is that one of my children has down syndrome and is mostly non-verbal (he can speak but what comes out is mostly babble)…. and I have not been able to come up with a good way to include him in this type of activity…. and I don’t want to skip over him when we do question time b/c he is beautiful and smart, and I don’t want him to see us skipping over him, and I don’t want his brothers and sisters thinking his answer doesn’t matter
so does anyone at all have a solution for this or any ideas?
I don’t know how qualified I am to answer this. . . growing up my best friend’s brother had down syndrome. He is extremely outgoing, but had a hard time keeping up with conversations. So his family, which was AWESOME, would give him opportunities to contribute by say, singing a song, or recounting his favorite part from a movie. I don’t know if this is doable for your little one or not, but I know my friend’s brother had a lot of fun and felt like an important part of the family doing what he loved. Sounds like you’re an awesome mom!
I have worked with children that are mostly non-verbal and with children doing team development activities. One of the activities we would do was “pick a card that describes your day today”. The cards were mostly abstract or symbolic pictures (a grey cloud with lightening, a seed just sprouting, a handshake, a lightbulb, swirls of blue and green, flames of red and yellow, a spiral, a rainbow pattern, a globe). The children would pick a card and share why they picked it.
You might be able to do the same with many of these questions, and everyone could pick their card and share. Even if the verbal communication is not clear, the picture may help.
How does your child best express himself?
Could you have the answer be in the form of drawing a picture?
Could you provide multiple choice answers and have the children point to one that best represents them? For example, asking how they feel about a topic with different smiley/frowny faces for answers. The kids can then elaborate as much as they can/want to.
Maybe ask them to show you with their bodies how they feel about different things. Or they could act out something they did that day that was beautiful, scary, exciting, sad, etc.
So glad to see your question, Addie, because I had the same thought – I have two beautiful children, one with DS who is still developing speech. Trying to figure out a way not to put my other child always on the spot while also including this child. Maybe we could do something with photos. I’ll keep thinking…
My son was non-verbal for a time & we used infant sign language (much simpler than ASL but related) and it really helped his frustration. Also, when I worked in special Ed classrooms there were wooden boards with lots of picture choices (before tablets, you could use one of those instead) and non verbal children had a large range of picture choices to express their answers. What a great mom 🙂
Just wanted to say thank you for all the responses…. Im definitely not perfect but I try…. 🙂
He definitely cannot write or draw anything (drawing a smiley face one day was a huge victory!) but maybe pictures would be helpful – we do that with kids menus at restaurants, so maybe that would be helpful with this…. or something close to it…. 🙂
To be honest, he probably could care less about “answering” questions about himself, but I always want our kids to learn to include him and that he matters (not to make our bio kids sound bad – they love including him, but he was adopted as an older child so it hasn’t always come as natural as if he had been a baby in our family)
Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for all the responses… its good not to feel alone
Thank you so much for this!!! I too love the idea of getting to know more about my kid’s day – and I too am TIRED.
A question I ask my daughter is : “Who did you sit next to at lunch today?”
The answer is often different, and it opens up conversations about who her friends are and why (on that particular day anyway;)
This is a wonderful idea!!
We used to go “good and bad” at dinner. Each person shared a good and a bad of the day. You could share two goods, but not just bads. It made us focus on something positive. This has fallen by the wayside, but this article has inspired me to start again! Thank you!!!
I haven’t read all the questions yet, but I recently read an article about a teacher who had her students write, “One thing I wish you knew about me…” on a piece of paper. She learned amazing things!! Thanks Greta for sharing this article.
This is the best gift ever! Thank you! And for all the other question ideas in the comments! I was so happy to read that you have the same experience as I do- I want desperately to understand and connect with my kids, but when those rare moments come when I get one on one time with them -I go blank. I’m tired and I go blank and then I feel bad that I don’t have profound questions or things to discuss. But now I have a cheat sheet! Thank you!
I LOVE that Dalai quote. We play a game with our kids called roses and thorns at dinner. Your rose is the best part of your day, and conversely, the thorn is the worst part of your day. It gets the kids talking, but like Glennon, I’m tired. This jar will be awesome.
Love this idea! Thank you so much for sharing, i shall be trying this with my family tomorrow. My question: what do you feel excited about today?
This is WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much!! My daughters are 28 years old now, bur I WILL do this when I get to have my grandchildren! Thank you, I LOVED IT!!
question:
what would you do if you see an old person falling down on the street?
love, Monica, from Argentina
This is awesome. We will definitely do.
Question: What was your favorite part about today (I usually ask during bedtime cuddle)
I love this idea. My almost 6 year old is soon ending her Kindergarten year and she is closed up so tight, I rarely hear about her experiences. I try to ask her different questions, but it’s so hard to get her to open up. I can’t wait to try this!
Question: what is something you did today that made you smile?
Thank you for this!!!! I’m currently reading Dannah Gresh’s book, How To Keep The Good In Your Boy. It’s about guiding your tween son into his teens in regards to sexual purity and integrity. MY son spends 50% of his time with a loving father who is a sex addict, and I want to give my son the tools now to be able to make wise choices about his sexuality. ANYWAY, Dannah’s first big point is CONNECT with your child. I can use all the help I can get my hands on to connect with my quiet, sensitive, introverted, sometimes angry ten y.o. boy. I really think this could help.So thank you, thank you, thank you. Your timing is impeccable!
BTW I just finished Carry On Warrior. Thank you for that too!!! I’m already itching to go back and read it again.
Mom of a sensitive, introverted, often angry 11 y.o. boy here, holding a space for your boy. Thanks for the book recommendation, will definitely be checking it out.
Thank you Lindsay. It always helps to know other moms and sons have been here before and are still moms and sons.
THANK YOU!!! Love this.
Question: What is something you’ve always wanted to try?
Thank you, thank you! I’m going to use these on adults as well as children. This will be a big help in our family.
This is wonderful! I would add some blanks, so once in a while our family can add our own questions to the jar. I know that can be done on blank paper, but it would still be nice if we had pre-done blank strips with the matching logos. Thank you for this!
What breathes life into you? Or, what absolutely refreshes you?
This is a wonderful idea & came across my path at a great time. My wife & I are beginning the classes in TN to become foster parents. We were reluctant to start because being a same sex couple in TN is not always easy – especially in the realm of parenting children. We are excited & scared, but can’t wait to get everything rolling. I will definitely incorporate this into our home – I think this is a perfect catalyst to get to know our future foster kids!
I love this! Several years ago we started playing dinner games as a way to keep our kids at the table and talking to us. We have a fun collection of dice and card games, easy to play and eat at the same time 🙂 At a teachers conference a few years ago I picked up a game…can’t remember what it’s called…but it’s a set of interview questions. They are all question stems so the actual questions change each time you play. It’s one of our favorites because, you’re so right, we all want to be known. I can’t wait to print these out and leave them in my car for summer trips!! Here’s a question my 11 year old asked recently: What’s your favorite way we are alike and your favorite way we are different?
This is really great. Especially for me. Especially today. My oldest daughter made my husband and I a jar filled with wonderful memories and events that happened throughout her life in our family, for our 35th wedding anniversary (almost 5 years ago). She typed these memories out, then printed them and cut them (with her crafty scissors so that they are pretty) out and put them all in a large vase. We pulled out one every day to read to each other at the dinner table, and remember how lucky our lives have been. Until now, I had not heard of anything quite so wonderful. Just talking, discovering, loving, and remembering is the absolute best thing to do with your loved ones. Thank you.
I LOVE this Holly!!
What a wonderful anniversary present! I might do this for my parents soon.
My husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s disease a few years ago. As he declines so does our conversation. I think I will make a jar for him/us
blessings to you
Hugs and prayers for you and your husband
I love this! Here is my question:
“If I could make you one promise, and that promise could never, ever be broken, what would you want that promise to be…and why?”
That’s a question that is worthy of a lot of thought! Excellent addition and a must to add to the jar!
Love Love Love this!! Thank you =)
I love this. I have bought two versions of table talk for exactly this purpose. I first used this style of game at the american girl doll restaurant (in the store) my girls loved it so much I bought cards!. Table talk isn’t expensive at like $5 each but this is free and I am totally putting a copy of it in my car as soon as it prints and I cut it out.
I experienced that same jar at the American Girl Doll Cafe, but was so disappointed to pull out this question I was supposed to ask my 10 year old daughter…
“Which would you rather be, smart, pretty, or athletic?”
Like she has to CHOOSE???? Come on!! Thankfully, our shared dismay at that question prompted a really great conversation.
Thank you for making this doable with out ribbon. I just hit print!:) Can’t wait to get started with my crew!:) Always good stuff to be found her–thank you!:)
Hello! I’m a new Monkee. I’m shaking because of the profound change my heart and mind have gone through over the last 50 hours since discovering Momastery. (Keep an eye out for the thank you card coming your way. 😉 ) Anyway, while coming out of the dark these last few days, I was frantically trying to think of ways to connect with my 10, 12, 14 and 16 yr old kiddos. And, TA-DA, here we are. So, THANK YOU! (Again!) Question: What is something you have learned from (insert a sibling/family member’s name here)?
Beautiful Beth! What a great way to get the kids to see the good in each other x
YAY! Welcome–and good question! I’m already glad you’re here.
I’m so excited about this! Thank you so much for taking the time to put this together!
I LOVE this idea! Here are some questions:
If you could have one magical power, what would it be?
If you could give someone else a magical power, what power would you give and to whom?
What is the most fun thing you have ever done with your sister/brother/mom/dad/ grandmother/grandfather, etc.?
If you could only change one thing about the world, what would it be?
If you could change one thing about our family, what would it be (eliminating one or all of your siblings is not an option)
What makes you sad?
What makes you giggle?
What makes your friends (or a specific friend) sad?
What makes your friends (or a specific friend) giggle?
What do you think God’s favorite thing is about you?
LOVE IT! Wish there was one for the younger set. My daughter is three.
I could tell my son had a hard day at school one day and couldn’t figure out why. I asked the silly question, “if an alien spaceship came down and abducted a child who would you want it to be?” I know. I know. That’s rough. And not loving. He told me about the boy who made his day bad. Then we talked about how we would feel sad if he really was taken by aliens and how we really don’t wish that. BUT, it got the conversations rolling! I’m printing these out tonight. This is fantastic.
That’s a great question you came up with in the moment! Good for you!
We have a move to California from Texas this summer; I think anyone who gets to ride in mom’s car gets to answer some questions!
Best Mother’s Day gift ever. Thank you, G.
I haven’t read all the questions yet so I apologize if this one is included:
If you were the mom, and I was the kid, what would you do to make sure I knew you loved me?
Okay, that one made me tear up. Thanks for that!
Oh! I love this!
Great question!
Oh my goodness! That is a GREAT question! I love that! Thank you
Fabulous! I never would have come up with that on my own. I thank you much for sharing it!
I love this idea Glennon and Erin! Thanks for sharing it! And I love the words you supplied Glennon to receive and honor someone’s offerings! <3
A big think you to all involved for doing the hard work and creating these questions and kit. I aspire to learn the magic inside my kiddos and my hubs. Right now at dinner each of us do our sweets of the day (favorite happy thing), our sucks of the day (not so great thing), and my sweet little girl had us add our wonder of the day. These questions will be a great addition. I learn so much about my favorites when I can get my hands on a thought provoking question. Thank you.
This is the most amazing idea I’ve stumbled upon in so long. I want nothing more than to have that deep intimate connection with my two daughters and I love the way that these questions can be thoughtful, stimulating, and can help us grow closer. Thank you so much for the inspiration. And thank you for sharing.
I love this. We have a book named “IF” that we take camping or on long car rides and it’s a book filled with starter sentences like “If you could have a conversation with someone you’ve never met, alive or dead, who would it be?” etc. My 13 year old LOVES it and always wants to ‘play’.
I am going to get this jar ready to keep near our table for dinner conversations because it is geared to the family. (‘IF” needs to be read out loud by the adults because there are adults-only questions in it, too!)
Thanks for this!
Oh how I love love love this! I have a boy tween who is not very talkative but this looks like it really could be a “key”– particularly when motivated by the presence of his chatty younger brother. I am not crafty but I CAN DO THIS! Thank you Erin and Glennon! Questions–What do you think about when you lay down to go to sleep? If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be? What’s one word you would use to describe our family? (I might regret that one, lol)
How did someone make you feel loved today? (This can help us figure out their love language!)
Good one!