Really love this!!!! Compassion is taught by modeling to your children. If they see that it is an important factor in your life then they will model your behavior. So many people never talk to their children about compassion or kindness. My brother was mentally challenged and endured much bullying. Several times the bullying escalated into life threatening situations. As his sibling I would take up for him but I remember thinking, even at a young age, did their parents never teach them about kindness. I think teaching about compassion is sometimes overlooked when there is no one in the household that might be a little different or facing challenges. It just might not be in the forefront of their thoughts. However, this letter does a good job addressing this. Our children will encounter other people in their class, church or community who are different then them and they do need to be taught how to respond and show kindness. I would have to change the part about “we don’t care”. I care about how well my girls do in school, as far as grades are concerned. Not that it has to be straight A’s but I have to know that they are trying their best and that good grades will help them later in college and build that bridge to good study habits and scholarships 😉 I want then to have a “can do attitude”.

I loved the letter…most of it. A beautiful way to remind and teach our children to be kind to others, and what happens when we dont. I think it is important to not only teach our kids through real life experiences, but also to remind them that we as parents weren’t always “perfect” either. I did however cringe once it started getting to the “we don’t care section” especially the part that said “Don’t try to be the best this year, honey.” (I cringe as I write it even) I think it’s VERY important to teach our children to always try THEIR best, and that we as parents DO care about their accomplishments and are proud of them when they do achieve these things. I think there is HUGE difference in pressuring a child to always be THE best, the coolest, the smartest and saying “we want you to do YOUR best, and regardless of what happens we will always love you and be here for you.” That portion of the letter comes off more as a theme song for underachievement, lack of accountability, and lack of care or concern for anything else but being kind. Don’t get me wrong, teaching kindness and a loving, helpful heart have always been a top priority of mine and my husband and I speak of it often with our children. However, I think we would be doing our children a great disservice if we were to encourage (or seem like we condoned) a lack of caring and trying. I see what that section was trying to accomplish, but I think it missed the mark. Other than that, I think it is a beautiful way to teach our children and serve as a great teachable moment and tradition they will remember regardless. Thanks for sharing

Thank you so much for sharing this. I wish more parents would share this or something similar to it with their children every year. If they did, kids (like me) wouldn’t have been so alone in a school full of kids. This letter made me cry. It was so sweet, so touching, but also very close to the heart. Please continue to share this with your children, and any other parents out there who may read this comment, I know it will make a difference in both your children’s and another’s life.

This literally brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so much for sharing, and what a fabulous new tradition to add to my own family.

Thank you. Loved this so much.

I like this idea; however, I think the whole paragraph of the “I don’t care/we don’t care” should be revised. It’s important to teach children priorities, compassion, love, etc, but it’s just as important to let them know that as their parents we love and especially care about their interests and support them! It is important to try your hardest and make good grades, but not necessarily be the best and it should be revised, in my opinion. It is otherwise a good example and teaching opportunity. I just think that in the process, we shouldn’t make our own children feel belittled as I felt a part of this letter came across as doing. No, I am not heartless, yes, it was touching and I was teary. I am just trying to also explain that it could be a little more “softly spoken” (explained).

This is beautifully said. I can think these things; but never get the words put together out of my mouth to make proper sense all at one time. Thank you for putting it all together. I will print this for my young adult children, to pass on to their “future” children. I have 2 beautiful children that turned out great; but in the world we live in – it is getting harder and harder for many others – THANK YOU!!!!

I just posted a book review on Erin Lange’s debut novel Butter which addresses the subject of bullying. Unfortunately, it is an issue that is all to real and some times never addressed. Love your post about standing up. A bully’s power comes a lot from the acceptance of the people around them.

This is soo beautiful it made me cry. I used to be the Adam of this story but a girl who is one of my best friends told them to stop thanks for when i am older I will read this to my children or grandchildren thank you

I cried the entire letter. My daughter was an “adam” . She committed suicide 3 years ago. A senior in high school. I am not sure if others tried to help or not. We had no warning but I sure wish we could of…this live is so very hard now without her.
Thank you for raising your kids up in God’s image.

I wish you were my mom…

Just stumbled upon this letter and cried my eyes out. I have four children, one with autism and can see this story from both points of view. Thanks for sharing this beautiful letter.

What a beautiful letter. I’m so touched by it. You have such a gift of putting feelings into words. I don’t have that gift and I’m so thankful that I came across your page, because your letter is exactly what I want to say to my children, but just didn’t know how to put it into words. Thank you so much for sharing…..

I loved this, it’s so beautiful! I’m going to keep this and do something similar for my daughter when she goes off to school. (*wiping away tears*)

beautifully done.

How have I never heard of your blog?!! I love it already and I haven’t read past your latest post!

This made me tear up a little. Beautiful.

This is very powerful!!! Thank you for sharing it!!

I have an Adam too. He has been dancing since he was 4 years old and has certainly endured his share of bullying. It encouraged me to join the PTA and start an anti-bullying committee and learn everything I could about the how and the why. My greatest joy came finally when he was in Grade 9. For Phys Ed each day, the teacher had a different student lead the warm up. One day it was his turn. All those football players and swimmers and hockey stars??….. asked that the teacher NEVER allow him to lead the warm up again. I guess they figured out that he was an elite athlete too.

Thank you for sharing…I have made it a point to teach my children to be kind & be a friend to the under dog. This is the perfect story to explain why this is so important. I can not wait to share this with them

I love you letter so much I am going to save it for my future children.

Thank you

Thanks for sharing your wonderful words. I am very glad to have this in my parenting toolbox.

That was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing.

What a gifted writer you are! I enjoyed this story and I appreciate that you help mama’s with their journey of “Motherhood”. Keep it up!
I’m about post a comedic song I wrote for parents of tweens and teens called “Keep Your Clothes On”. I’ll let you know when it’s posted. Blessings, Dede

Wow! That is amazing. I am completely boo hooing! What a sweet way to teach your child an invaluable lesson. Love everything about it. You rock

We don’t care if you get straight A’s. This could be modified “we care if you have good grades but respecting and caring for others around you is equally important. make sure you help others and be there for them in when they are sad and lonely and you can help them to be their very best too” Big mistake to tell kids not to be concerned about their academics from a really young age. the rest of the post is awesome.

Thank you so much for this. “…sometimes YOUR posts actually sort of HURT they’re so beautiful. Thank you…Glennon”

I just loved this.I was a 7th grade teacher and am now a substitute teacher and a mother of 4. I love messages like this and will be sure to share with as many classes that I can, as well as with my own children!To me…this is teaching!!!!

I have a fun tradition for our kids. They each get breakfast in bed on the first day of school. I will be sure to share the story of “Adam” during their special breakfast!!

Thanks

I love how this focuses on compassion and helping those who can’t help themselves. This is what Jesus Christ taught, and as adults we need to remember those values as we head to the voting booth. Are we a society that takes care of those who *can’t* help themselves? The elderly? The chronically sick? The young, helpless, hungry children of poverty-stricken parents — who can’t influence *any* of their parents’ life choices, and shouldn’t be punished for them? They need and deserve our help, and the church cannot do it alone. *Compassion* is what makes a society truly civilized.

I don’t even have my own kids and I am sobbing reading this. I am a teacher, it might be a good thing to read to my class as well. It is such a wonderful message. I can’t wait to show read this letter to my child one day. Thank you for your eloquent writing and all that you do. You are amazing.

Once again, so well said…from head to toe. Thank you for sharing your great words, and more importantly your lessons.

As a teacher, this is one of the best things I’ve read in a REALLY long time! Every parent needs a copy of this.

Seriously? I am lying in bed reading this with tears running into my ears. I want to wake my babies up RIGHT NOW and read this to them. Their first day of school was today, so you better believe we’re reading this in the morning. Thank you for sharing!!!!!!

God bless!

Oh Glennon! I just have to tell you about my “Talk” with my son about the Adam story… First, though, I have to tell you that you are such an inspiration to me, I’ve lived such a brutiful life thus far and honestly, IT IS SO HARD, but as you say, We Can Do Hard Things, so I keep on keeping on. Anyway, I’ll have to share more with you at another time.

Back to my “Adam Talk”… I was a bit behind in reading your blog so I just happened upon the talk blog yesterday, belatedly as school started a little over a week ago. But that’s okay, some thing, I may never know exactly what, but as soon as I read that you were fine with everyone sharing your letter i.e. changing the name, etc. I decided that was exactly what I was going to do. I felt a bit guilty about using your words and just changing a few bits, but you know what, I just had to because simply, I couldn’t have said it better. No. Way.

So, I had the letter with me when I picked my son up from my girlfriends house and before I left, she said, Oh, just a heads up, when I picked Curran up today, he was having a bit of an issue. Uh Oh… What’s that, I said. She said that a boy at the after-school program was following Curran around and he really wants to be his friend but instead of Curran saying, oh sure, he just did the “avoidance” dance and turned the other cheek, but was getting progressively more aggravated as the boy just wouldn’t take no for an answer. By the time my friend arrived, he was a flustered mess. She calmed him down and when they got to the car, she gently Q&A’d him on the situation and Curran said frankly, He wants to be my friend, but it’s just not going to happen. UGH…

For the most part, my son (an 8 yro 3rd grader) is very sweet, thoughtful and gosh, I was surprised that he would react this way. However, I was dumbstruck… what had compelled me to not only read your “Adam Talk” blog but then proceed with copying the letter and having it prepared to read with Curran that very night? I’ll never know, but I have to say… One little boys world was rocked last night.

(Just to preface, I didn’t mention my knowledge of the after-school incident, as I knew our conversation would be all he would need to hear… for the most part) So, we went through our normal bedtime routine and he came in an saw this letter with his name all neatly written with Curly Q’s and dots, laying on his pillow. Oh, what’s this? I told him that I had read something on a blog earlier in the day and that I was so moved by it, I felt a strong need to read this letter with him. He asked if he could read it first, so I said sure but if he could read it aloud. He starts out reading it, a bit shyly at first and then come the pauses, then the quiet tears and then an abrupt stop. His last line that he could read was, “I think about Adam every day”… He looked up at me with the saddest eyes and most tourtured look, like Mom, why? Why are you making me read this? Why did you write this for me?

I asked him if he’d like for me to finish reading it and he said yes. After struggling to get through it myself, with sobs coming from him and free flowing tears coming from me… we managed.

Wow, what a flood gate of emotion, for both of us. You see, I went to school with an “Adam” too. And your right, it makes your heart hurt, but I know that God not only brings people into our lives as gifts but he also puts us in certain situations as gifts as well.

I could go on and on about what happened afterwards but I want to tell you this… we cuddled, told stories, he asked me to sing songs to him that I used to sing when he was little, we laughed and I never once looked at the clock. We just had a very long “moment”. Gosh, I can’t say thank you enough for that… Not too sure why I haven’t been taking advantage of those special bedtime moments, but we (my son and I) are going to be spending a lot more time just having a “moment”. Part of me feels like a horrible mom for neglecting this special bedtime ritual, but I know that what I’ve been going through has been a road block… but road block, be gone. I feel like a new mom and my heart is singing!!!

You are one in a million and I’m so happy I’ve found your blog. Thank you. Grazis. Merci Beaucoup.

Affectionately from one Monkee to another,
Michelle G.

I’m new to your blog but just wanted to say that this is beautiful and it made me teary, too. What a great message to send with your kids as they trudge off to school each year.

The world needs more messages like this. 🙂

Beautiful story….. Really touched my heart.. Makes me realise how important it is to teach our kids to be compassionate and kind to their peers and brave enough to stepup and help the ones in need….
Can relate to it as I have seen my own going through bullying at a very very young age….

Love this!

Add me to the list who had to share this with others 🙂 It is part of my back to school favorites. Thank you, again, for this.

http://www.masteringmommybrain.com/2012/09/03/mamas-manic-monday-my-back-to-school-favorites/

(and i often curse through target as well :)!)

As an elementary school teacher I LOVE this!! I’ve recently found your blog, and while I am not a Mother yet, I do have several lobsters in my life and 23 first grade babies that I love as my own. I’m tempted to pass this letter along to all my parents!! Thanks for sharing all you do!

Marianna
Delightfully Dunn

Thank you for this. A very dear friend brought this to my attention. I was always one of the “pretty people” but I couldn’t stand bullying. I never knew until I was much older in life just how much those little acts of kindness meant. I was lucky enough to have friends that agreed with me. So the “awkward” kids had friends, people to confide in, and people to help them. I don’t think we made any geniuses, but we sure helped a lot in happiness, grades, and self esteem.

And I didn’t realize it until fairly recently, where I have been told what a difference we made. Bullies don’t just come as thugs; they come as teachers, parents, peers, siblings, administrators, police, and plain strangers. And I never noticed how much it mattered that we protected as many as we could because it was just natural. As I said, I was lucky that I had friends like that. Okay, sure, there were times when the entire rest of the world was excluded. I am talking about being kids here, and that is going to happen for privacy reasons, boyfriends and girlfriends get some alone time, but when company was no problem, the more the merrier. I had to explain, not long ago, to a grandmother, “You don’t understand, we didn’t do that for “Timmy” out of charity. We did those things because “Timmy” is our friend.” Oh, she cried.

We never thought anything about it. But those little bits of kindness, of seeing what a person truly is, can go really a long way.

I very much appreciate this article. I promise my kids know it, and so do a great many others I know.

My name is Krista and when I was in 3rd grade, and 4th and 5th and 7th and 1st, I was Adam. I was the weird poor kid whose lunches were skimpy and whose clothes were dirty and who lived in a motel. Not a lot of kids talked to me, and mostly when they did, the things they said were made to break me, not love me. Thankfully God made me with resilience to spare, and I have accomplished in my 29 years so much more than I though I would when I was that weird girl on the playground with natty hair, but this letter… I wish some mama had read this letter to her 3rd graders in 1991. Maybe my life would have changed when I was little.

My sister is a 3rd grader this year and I remind her all of them time that she should be nice to everyone, and if other kids are mean to her classmates? Her job is to stand up to those kids. Thank you for this letter. What a beautiful gift to your children.

Hi Glennon,
I am so incredibly grateful to have come across your blog tonight, you’ve had me in tears. I am 17 and making lots of scary, daunting changes in my life as I take steps out into the big wide world. Just as every other kid in my class is, I am feeling the pressure to get the “As”, be in all the sports teams so I can get into college, to be the smartest; be the best. I have never believed that getting “As” makes me the best and until right now, I had never known anyone who shared the same vision as me. Now I have a whole community at my fingertips who believe, who are compassionate, who love without restrictions of what society supposedly ‘requires’, and that fills me with so much joy. I am not the smartest, I’m pretty awful at sports, I don’t go to parties and get drunk not because I do not want to but because I’m not invited. My fellow students think my view of life, to love each and every being, to care for our planet and each other is out there and ‘hippy’. I am a vegan and I get a lot of stick for that, it sucks but it’s what I believe in and it’s a huge part of who I am. I think that is why it hurts so much, because every little comment, every tease chips away at a part of you and it takes all the fight you have within yourself to stand up again, smile and continue to believe in good, to believe in ME. Your letter reminded me of my Adam: When I was in my first year of secondary school (I live In England so it’s secondary school not high school here) there was a girl called Suzie at our school. She had cancer. She was in the last year of school and people made fun of her for her hair loss and her size. They didn’t interact with her in the same way that they did with the rest of their friends because she was sick and therefore different. Different, I have come to learn, scares a lot of people. I got lost on my second day trying to find the English classroom. I was scared and lonely, sitting in the corridor with my rubbish school map when Suzie found me. She comforted me, took my hand and lead me to English and told my teacher what had happened. She was a friend to me when I really needed one and the rest of that school year she looked out for me. I was so grateful for a friend like Suzie and, going into my final year, I hope I can be a Suzie for anyone that needs me, younger or older, inside or out of school.
People, especially kids are cruel when they exclude others for being different. It’s so unfair and it gives me that deep ache in my heart, the feeling of compassion which you talk about. Ever since I was little, my one promise to myself has been that I will have a positive impact on someone’s life, make them feel worthy and loved. I have been hurt and lied to so much that it is a daily struggle for me to look past it all and hope to God that I can search for the goodness in a person’s heart. Thank you for giving me the strength as I start this final school year, as my life is changing, to continue to live with my true morals, to pursue my honest dreams and the desires I have for myself, my friends, family, school community & the world outside my windows. It means the world and I will continue to return to your blog, thirsty for inspiration and the desire, not to be better at sport, or get higher grades, but to love more fiercely, openly and unconditionally. Laura xo

This is absolutely wonderful. It says, in plain speak, exactly what my husband and I try to communicate to our daughter every day. What a fantastic teaching tool. Thanks so much for sharing it 🙂

Thanks for sharing. I just retired from teaching for 27 years. I wish I had had this letter to share with my students.

This is beautiful! I typically tell my children something similar, but I love the part about
sending them to school to practice being brave and kind. Thank you! I am going to copy this for my kids!

Thank you for sharing this. I had an Adam, his name was Gary. I now know how to share his story.
Bless you!

I LOVE THIS!!!!! Thank you! What a great lesson to teach your son:) Awesome.

Wonderful letter, even more so, cool to have a tradition with yor kids. Please share this with them if you have a moment. “10 things you should know about your Teacher” http://nasreenfynewever.wordpress.com/2012/08/24/10-things-you-should-know-if-your-teacher-or-your-kids-teacher/

You inspired me to come up with something to tell my own daughter on the eve of her kindergarten orientation. Thank you for your letter to Adam and for encouraging your kids to be the kind of people I’d like my kids to play with.
http://lorihokie.blogspot.com/2012/08/talking-to-dragons.html

How might the world be a different place if every parent gave this letter to their children on the first day of school? That’s the world our kids deserve.

I am so glad I found your blog (by mention of Kelle Hampton). I’m never leaving. This space you’ve created here with your words is so full of honesty and inspiration. Love it!!! Thank you for this letter. I’ll be sharing it with my kids and applying it to my own life as well.

Wow, this is my first time commenting on your blog.

I wish your letter had been available for everyone to read when I was growing up 35 years ago. You see, I just buried one of my classmates. We have been gone from high school for 22 years now. She was born with mentally challenged. I do believe God put her on earth to test every soul that encountered her sweet spirit.

I remember well, the number of kids that spit at her, threw anything they could at her, kicked rocks at her, called her Spammy Pammy. I remember her sobbing, sometimes with no shoulder to cry on. I had times where I found it hard to be her friend, because everyone hated her. She was different, and yet, really, she was beautifully special. She was abandoned by her parents as a little girl and left to be raised by grandparents. They passed away while she was in high school, leaving her sister one year younger, to get a full-time job and work to pay the rent, put food on the table just so they would survive. Life was tough, and the mean-ness of others got tougher.

I remember well, middle school. That first day was pick your locker partner. She asked several to be her LP, but they all refused. She came crying to me, and though I was embarassed, I knew the right thing to do was to be her LP. So, we were. I never imagined in my life exactly how hateful people really are, until we would be at our locker during recess and the name calling, raw egg throwing, pencil throwing, random objects would come flying at us. I do believe she was sent by God, because she maintained a really sweet heart through the entire ordeal.

One day, standing at the locker, several “Jocks” through raw eggs at us. I was hopping mad! I wanted to say something, chase after them etc., and all she did was simply say, ‘Father forgive them, for they know not what they do’. Isn’t that amazing? No reaction. Fast forward the next 20 some years… because of her disabilities, she was never able to hold down a full-time job, have a family. Life was tough. I was privileged to be with her when she passed from this life. We kept in touch all of these years. I am not sure why she was kind enough to stay my friend, but I do know this, I was enriched forever … because God put a special little soul into my life to show me that kindness ALWAYS matters. It doesn’t matter weight, color, race, religion, mental abilities … What matters is at the end of the day, did we make someone elses day a little brighter?

At her funeral service, I cannot tell you the number of high school classmates that apologized for the way in which they treated her, but you know what, it was too late. She was already gone. A good lesson for all of us!

Laurellee

Oh, G, this is BEAUTIFUL!! Thank you, thank you, for sharing your insight, your love for your children and others, and your incredible skills at being a Mom, which only comes naturally. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to share your post on my public FB page. You have provided a powerful message that many others can be blessed, and empowered by.
Thank you again and Sending love,
Elisabeth

I found your blog today thanks to Kelle Hampton mentioning you on Instagram and haven’t been able to stop reading…I’ve read for over an hour. You and your family are such an inspiration. I love your story and outlook on life. I will be visiting this little blog often now. 🙂

Oh my! This has just become my FAVORITE blog of all time today! Totally awesome. I will for sure be following along. Have a blessed day!

Jennifer, Your son can be a Chase too. In fact, that will save him many hurt feelings. In my almost 60 years, and having raised 5 children, I have observed that children who are Adams are Adams because of their self absorption. There may be a good reason for that (usually because no adult has ever taught them how to be a Chase or anything else brave for that matter), but you can teach your son to be a Chase too. I have known and do know young people with disabilities and differences that have lots of friends because their minds and hearts go out to others instead of being centered on their own differences. Cruelty is a fact of life. Everyone meets it. And, truth be known, everyone has been cruel a time or two. I taught my children that when they meet up with cruelty it is because that person is very unhappy with themselves or with a situation in their lives and we have an opportunity to help. Sometimes that may mean sidestepping the cruelty and not letting it hurt them, or sometimes, just a word or act of kindness can kill the need to be cruel. So, Jennifer, your son may have more opportunities than other children, but if you set the example for your son to be a Chase, the power of kindess will light up far brighter coming from him.
Mumsy

Wow! Love this! We always tell our kids, “Don’t be the mean kid. Treat others the way you want to be treated, even when it’s hard.”. This letter is so good because it tells your experience and it’s so good for our kids to know we’ve been where they are.

God bless!

Thank you for sharing this amazing letter. I have always tried to teach my children to find the beauty and kindness in everyone they meet, although it becomes difficult finding just the right words to say. We actually have a similar talk, but I’ve felt like i wasn’t explaining it well enough. I think your letter laid it out wonderfully, and I thank you for sharing such wisdom.

I am a retired elementary school teacher and then elementary counselor. My grown children went to h.s. with you. I love your blogs.This one touched me to my soul. Thank you!

One word- BEAUTIFUL!!

I have stumbled across your posts many times and never finish without being inspired. Tonight is somehow the first I’ve heard of the Monkees…. and it reminded me immediately of the Hindu deity, Hanuman, a monkey… and who ” is known for its astounding ability to inspire and equip a reader (of the Ramayana) with all the ingredients needed to face ordeals and conquer obstructions in the way of the world. ” (About.com)…. I had to laugh, for that is the energy I always find in your words. Thank you… words inadequate for the blessings you bring.

I love the idea of this tradition, so I read the letter to my 2nd grader-as if it where me writing to him. The good news is that it is very clear that my little guy is compassionate. The bad news is that he is very, very upset with me for not helping “Adam”.

I read this post a few days ago, but it encouraged me to act today when we were playing at our elementary school playground.

I saw a mom and her son standing together watching the other kids on the playground. I pointed them out to my soon-to-be-1st grade son, and suggested that it might make the little boy happy if another child invited him to play. He smiled and said “you’re right, Mom” and went over and asked the boy if he wanted to play with him. They ended up playing together–and with another boy that my son knew from Kindergarten–for about an hour.

When the boys started playing, I introduced myself to his Mom, and discovered that her son was about to start K at the school and was really nervous about it. In the course of our conversation, I told her about some great programs that helped us become a part of the school community We also discovered that we lived one street away from each other.

The best part, for me, was my son’s reaction: “Mom, I made my first new friend of the school year today!”

Thanks for the reminder that a little kindness is good for everyone!

First, I want to tell you that I love your blog. I have it saved to my favorites on my work computer, and I check it every day when I need to be inspired, or need to laugh…or a little of both! I love “the talk” post and shared it with several of my friends, and several of them ended up sharing it as well. I hope that I had a small part in creating new readers and Monkees for you.

I think you are FANTASTIC, and I think more people need to know it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts-it takes a lot of guts to do that; and your readers are better people for it!

Shantelle (a Monkee from Minnesota!)

Great story! It empowers youth not to ignore that feeling (compassion) that is there that they will feel during school. What a great idea to remind them to be kind. Thanks!

I have heard so many parents tell me all the ways they have taught their children to care for others and teach them compassion……….But from a mom who has a 14yo who has been bullied since day one……….None of those kids listened to a word their parents said about be nice to other kids who are different. They are cruel when there are no adult eyes watching.

That is a very sweet letter, and it made me cry.

But it’s just not that easy.

Accountability. Now there is a word to teach our kids.

Didn’t mean to be Debbie downer, I just wanted you to stop and think of the reality of it.

Yesterday, I called the police because my next-door neighbour was screaming at his girlfriend non-stop. Thank you for reinforcing that my decision was the right and just one.

Last night, my three boys and I were eating dinner and talking about our goals for this school year. I heard, “I have it all figured out. No goals.” and “Straight A’s” and “No C’s.” I wish I would’ve read this post first. My kids have been Adam’s and they have been Chase’s. e’ve talked about acknowledging the inherent worth and dignity of each person, and I know how hard that is to do in the rush-rush of lunch, recess, and math. It IS the most important lesson though, for though they may come out smart, whip-smart in fact, it is all for nothing if they come out human beings nobody can stand to be around.

I just love this G! I have been following you since January and you never cease to amaze me and make me a blubbery mess at my desk! I work in Higher Ed and am working on a District wide event for Bully Prevention, it is my passion and I hope that even as one momma and one small person I can make a difference to put an end to this problem in the kids in my community. Can I please share this letter with the event, of course with a link to you?

PS…The only tradition we have is making sure that the kiddoes get the sand out of thier finger nails! We also never miss the excuse to go for ice cream for the end of the summer, which makes me giggle because it’s not like the place puts up a “Closing now since school is back in session” sign, but it is my excuse for ice cream! 🙂

You words are so powerful. I hope you realize how much people need and are inspired by the things you put on this blog. This is exactly what i needed to hear/read for my 3 1/2 year old who started preschool and is the “Adam”right now. Feeling down about himself. He is teeny tiny for 3 1/2 and some boys are calling him names “baby” “why are you small” etc.. He asked me “Momma they say “small” like it is a bad thing” “Is small bad” BREAK. THIS. MOMMA’S. HEART. Of course, I like to believe these other 3 1/2 boys have no clue how their words hurt. My girlfriend found this post looking for some words of encouragement for me. Thank you for for being who God made you to be. This piece has really helped. Your writing makes a difference in people’s lives and for that you should be proud of yourself.

I love your blog so much … I just wish I remembered to read BEFORE I apply my mascara in the morning. 🙂 Always, truly, deeply moved. Thank you.

I’m not sure what to say. I imagine that everyone of us had an Adam, whether we will admit it or not. Now I have that child, he has autism. I don’t get to see him as often as I really want to because we now live in different states. I do go visit every chance I get, and I go visit the school. It breaks my heart to see him on the playground with no children playing with him, standing by himself. Maybe if just one of the parents would have this talk things would be different.

This is a fantastic post! I am a puddle reading it knowing how true it is! I can’t wait to share this with all of my friends and kids! God bless you for sharing this wonderful lesson of God’s love!

Love this post, it made me cry! I plan to start reading your blog, because I would like to hear more of what you have to say. One question though; what “Talk” do you give your child when your child is “Adam”? I seriously would like to know, since my daughter is the one being left out, bullied, teased.

That’s awesome! Love “the talk”! I don’t know that I’ve had this official talk before school starts – but we talk throughout the year – especially as my kids encounter a wide variety of kids in public and private schools. It kind of reminded me of my dad’s advice when I went to college . . . He said “Don’t worry as much about academics and grades as about the people you meet. People are much more important!” I understood what he said – though I told him I did HAVE to focus on and get good grades as in Nursing school you have to remember it all for your licensing exam! 🙂

Thanks for sharing!
Oh – and BTW – we don’t have any/many back-to-school traditions either . . . other than the hunt for school supplies, which my youngest daughter LOVES doing and starts asking me about it in June and July! She’s my organizer and a future teacher. 🙂

Much Love and blessing to you! I enjoyed reading about Adam and as a teacher and a mom, I hope to instill some kindness and bravery in all my kids and students this year.

God’s Grace to you!

Kelly Cassidy
http://www.praying4patience.com

This is awesome!!! I teach school, and I wish every parent would have this talk!!!!

This is so beautiful! Thank you so much for these words! We will use them with our children this year!

This is so beautiful. Such a good mom to have “that” talk with your kids. My boys always tried to stand up for that one who might be getting pushed around. I am forever grateful for their choices.

…and THIS has officially become our first back-to-school tradition. My big guy is starting kindergarten this year, and you’ve perfectly captured the salt-and-light hopes I have for him….thank you!

I was touched by the letter – moved to tears actually – but before I read the letter ~ and all the touching comments as well ~ I was determined to comment on one particular thing, and darn it, I’m going to do it: Were you really “cursing” through Target (which I find hilarious and enjoyable) or cruising through Target? Think me not a heartless person. Your definition of compassion has been discussed with my kiddos and taped to my fridge; but I’m new to the Momastary blog and don’t yet know your sense of humor.

I would love to share this on my blog of course with a link back here. Is that ok with you? This is something that I teach my kids, but putting it in letter form makes it so much more personal. Thank you so much.
Christie