Jun 082015

Be Messy And Complicated

This week’s To-Do List: Be Messy, Complicated & Afraid and Show Up Anyway.  Tweet: This week's To-Do List: Be Messy, Complicated & Afraid and Show Up Anyway. @momastery http://ctt.ec/3bf32+

Several months ago I spent a morning preparing for company to come in the afternoon, and I found myself standing in the kitchen cutting up many vegetables. The cutting had to happen before they came because many things can go wrong while cutting and so an audience is out of the question. I tried to control my hoststress by replaying what my dear friend, Shauna, says – that the best hostesses don’t worry about whether company feels good about their home or food or throw pillows or what have you.The best hostesses just make sure company feels good about themselves. That seems like the better way.

This reminds me of my friend, Angela, who thought she was twenty pounds overweight, but didn’t care much. She always wore a bikini to our neighborhood pool and one day she said, “Listen. I’m a little fat. I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about that because I’ve got stuff to do. As a matter of fact- with these seven million kids and a husband and a job – I’ve got no time for charity work. So to make the world a better place, I wear this bikini to the pool. You know, so other women who DO worry about their weight will feel awesome in comparison. No skin off my nose. That’s my good deed. Done. Check.”

Do you see what is happening here? Our imperfections are our SERVICE!!! A messy house, a few extra pounds, a complete and total inability to prepare food—IT’S OUR CHARITY WORK! You are WELCOME, world!!!!! We should rest after all this sacrificial and valorous public imperfection. Jeez. We are basically SAINTS.

That is all. I love you. Now go forth and be a little jacked up. IT HEALS.


(Originally posted on Facebook January 2015.)

Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
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Jun 012015


When Chase was eight, a woman approached us at the grocery store and said, “What a handsome boy! What do you plan to be when you grow up, young man?” Chase looked at her and said, “I plan to be kind and brave, ma’am.”

This was just one of the best moments of my life. Kind and brave has been our family’s battle cry for as long as I can remember. And I’ve always told my kids that your job isn’t who you are. Your character is who you are. So when folks ask my kids what they “want to be,” they think character, not career.

The great thing about this shift is that my kiddos understand that their life doesn’t magically begin when they “grow up.” Anybody still waiting for that to happen? Me too. Not them. They know that their life is NOW. Childhood is not just a dress rehearsal for adulthood. No way. It’s a whole beautiful thing, all on its own. Childhood is just as real as adulthood. Just as important.  Kids can be who they want to be TODAY. They don’t have to wait.

Chase wants to be a human being who is kind and brave and he is already that.  He know that his “success” does not depend upon whether he lands some job or not. He knows he’ll be a success if he continues to practice kindness and courage wherever and with whomever he finds himself. Today he is a kind and brave sixth grader and one day he’ll be a kind a brave high schooler and one day maybe he’ll be a kind and brave teacher or artist or father or carpenter or friend. His roles will change but his character will remain. He is already who he wants to be. So he can just go about being himself forever. Following his curiosity. One Next Right Thing at a time.

You too. You can just go about being yourself. Following your curiosity. One Next Right Thing at a time. Life starts now. There is no “When I” there is only “I am.” And it’s just as simple and hard as that. Tweet: Life starts now. There is no “When I” there is only “I am.”  And it’s just as simple and hard as that. @Momastery http://ctt.ec/n93Aa+

G & C

Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
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May 272015

One of my favorite strategies to add magic to my life is remembering to Go Off-Script with people. Sometimes I feel like I’m walking around in The Truman Show—like somewhere along the line, we’ve all agreed to stick to the script, to choose one of  six approved lines to throw at each other (Great weather we’re having! Love the scarf! I’m fine, and you?) and never, ever say what we’re really thinking. It’s like we have two voices: a juicy one in the back of our heads saying interesting, true, dangerous, delightful things and the other voice that shushes the juicy voice and sticks to the Script. That voice is safe, but she’s also kind of a yawn-fest. And she doesn’t unlock people. She doesn’t wake anybody up. When we stay on script, so does everybody else. When we jump off script, others do, too—and things get interesting.

Yesterday I was waiting for the lady behind the post office counter to help me. It was taking awhile. I felt like saying something, so I invited my juicy voice forward. Instead of saying “nice weather,” I said, “That little girl in your locket is beautiful. Who is she?” And the woman stopped working and looked up at me. She grabbed onto her necklace as if she’d forgotten it was there. Her eyes lit up and her body language softened. And time seemed to stop as she explained that the little girl was Laura, her daughter, and that Laura had passed away seventeen years ago. I said, “I’m so sorry. Laura was beautiful. Laura’s eyes are so bright.” And she said “It’s good to hear her name. ”

There you go. We were not just customer and post office employee after all. We were two mothers. Two women. Human connection made. I’m so glad we didn’t miss each other. Meeting her put my whole day in perspective. Life Off-Script is just another way to live AWAKE, to remember that each person who crosses our path is a teacher. Tweet: Going Off-Script is a way to live AWAKE-to remember that each person who crosses our path is a teacher. @momastery http://ctt.ec/I83hZ+ It just makes everyday life a great adventure. Here’s another example of some Off-Script Magic.

Several weeks ago, I sent this email to Tish’s teacher:

Dear Mrs. B,

I am writing to regretfully explain that Tish’s homework folder has somehow disappeared into the black hole that is our family home. Since you know my baby girl you might understand that this occurrence is: The Official End of The World. THE END, Mrs. B. It is over. I am trying to contain the weeping and gnashing of teeth, but Tish has decided that since her folder is missing, it is time for her to finally give up on making something of herself. This is quite sad for our whole family. We really thought this one had potential. Thank God we still have two more.

Please accept this mama’s humble plea for a new homework packet. As for the original packet, I am certain I will find it somewhere in our mini-van right before Tish graduates from college. IF we recover from Foldergate, that is. If not, it has been wonderful knowing you.

If it is against the rules to provide another packet, we accept our fate. I simply ask that if this is the case: please don’t return Tishy to us. Consider taking her home with you. She just needs a couple grilled cheeses a day. I have done my best with her but we can’t win them all. I really do wish the two of you great joy and success in all your future endeavors.

Mrs. B—all my continued gratitude and awe to you. Thank you for showing up day after day to give your all to our kids. Thanks for doing the most important work in the world. You are one of our family’s heroes.

The Messy Meltons


A few hours later, I received this reply:

Hi Glennon,

Well, I guess there goes Tish’s chances of getting into an Ivy League college. I put together another packet of homework for Tish. I didn’t have an extra copy of  the article on George Washington, so I replaced it with one on Abe Lincoln. Swapping one famous president for another should work in a situation like this. She also had her dad email me about the missing extra credit packet. I guess she was worried I wouldn’t believe her! The reward for completing the extra credit was only two Chips Ahoy cookies, but they were the chewy ones. Who would want to miss out on that!

Since Tish didn’t have a yellow folder to put her homework in (lost, too) I had to come up with a way she wouldn’t lose the new copy. I’ve attached a picture. She’s such a good sport. Carry on.

Have a great day!
Mrs.  B


God Bless the teachers, every one. 

GO OFF-SCRIPT TODAY, FRIENDS! Everybody is such a great adventure.

Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
Join the Momastery community on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest

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