Chelsea Handler on Happiness, Groundedness & the Upcoming Election
April 23, 2024
Chelsea Handler:
Oh my god.
Glennon Doyle:
Hi.
Chelsea Handler:
My favorite three women.
Glennon Doyle:
Look at you. You’re such a fucking love bug.
Chelsea Handler:
Oh my god. I’m filled with it. Look at you guys. Hi, long time no see.
Glennon Doyle:
Just love your face.
Chelsea Handler:
Oh, thanks.
Glennon Doyle:
Pod squad, obviously, we’re here with Chelsea Handler, just one of our favorite humans. Welcome to we can do hard things. Chelsea Handler is a comedian, television host… Doesn’t it feel funny to have to introduce Chelsea Handler?
Abby Wambach:
Yeah. If you don’t know-
Glennon Doyle:
You do. Podcast host-
Amanda Doyle:
Chelsea, you can’t even handle her.
Glennon Doyle:
Hey.
Amanda Doyle:
Don’t try to.
Glennon Doyle:
Oh, Sissy-
Chelsea Handler:
No one can handle it, that’s the truth.
Glennon Doyle:
Sissy, did you think of that last night in bed and think, “I can’t-
Amanda Doyle:
No, I just thought of it-
Glennon Doyle:
… wait-
Amanda Doyle:
… right now, and then I was going to be so embarrassed, because I’m sure Chelsea’s heard it like a thousand times. But I was like, “I’m feeling free. I’m going with it.”
Glennon Doyle:
Good job.
Chelsea Handler:
In my high school yearbook you had to write, I forget what it was, people wrote things about you and this guy that I had a huge crush on, his name was Patrick Conforti, he wrote something about, “And let’s not forget our favorite…” He said something about our freshman favorite, “The Handler full of fun.”
Glennon Doyle:
Oh.
Chelsea Handler:
And I was like, “Uh, that sounds like a lot more than what happened, but thank you. I think.”
Glennon Doyle:
Patrick. Little shit.
Chelsea Handler:
At that time in my life, I took that as a compliment.
Glennon Doyle:
Of course you did, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that. Any attention was good attention in high school.
Chelsea Handler:
Exactly.
Glennon Doyle:
Okay, wait. Chelsea is the author of six New York Times bestsellers.
Abby Wambach:
That’s crazy.
Glennon Doyle:
Five of which are number one New York Times bestsellers.
Chelsea Handler:
We have the same editor now, Glennon.
Glennon Doyle:
I know.
Chelsea Handler:
We have the same book editor. They were like, “Oh, I have a new book coming,” or “I’m writing a book,” and they were like, “Oh, this is the editor.” We were talking about which editor I would go with, and they’re like, “This is the editor of Glennon’s books, and then the editor of Laura Lynne Jackson, and then Elise Loehnen,” all these people in our little writer’s circle. And I was like, “Oh my god. Well, that’s where I have to be.”
Glennon Doyle:
I mean, Chelsea, Whitney Frick, we started our career together. Sister and I-
Chelsea Handler:
I know.
Glennon Doyle:
… went to New York. I’d never been to New York before.
Chelsea Handler:
Oh, gosh. Well, if you had your druthers, you never would’ve been.
Glennon Doyle:
That’s right, and I’ve never been since. But we sat down with her at the very beginning of this whole thing and we have gone with her to every different place she goes, and then she started Dial Press and she has curated the most amazing group of thinkers. It makes perfect sense to me that you’re with her. I think it’s so funny that I still have not gotten through the first sentence of this intro.
So five of which are number one bestsellers, including Life Will be the Death of Me. God that book just… She hosts the iHeart Radio advice podcast Dear Chelsea, which Abby and I try to be on once a month. And her most recently critically-acclaimed comedy special, Revolution, so fucking good, is available on Netflix. If you want to see her live, and you must, Chelsea is currently on her Little Big Bitch standup tour, which did I actually pee in my pants?
Abby Wambach:
Yeah.
Glennon Doyle:
I did pee in my pants. I had to-
Abby Wambach:
Well, you peed-
Glennon Doyle:
… change my underwear when I got home.
Chelsea Handler:
Sissy, where were you? Where were you?
Amanda Doyle:
I’m stuck in Virginia.
Chelsea Handler:
Oh, I think I’m coming to Richmond, Virginia. Are you by Richmond?
Amanda Doyle:
No, but I will be in Richmond.
Glennon Doyle:
Yay.
Amanda Doyle:
I will come to you.
Chelsea Handler:
Okay, I’m going to set you up with tickets, if you can make it, and then we can hang afterward. I want to see you, Sissy. This is ridiculous.
Amanda Doyle:
It is ridiculous.
Chelsea Handler:
I’ve never even seen you in person. I don’t believe that you exist.
Amanda Doyle:
I barely do, Chelsea, if that makes you feel better.
Chelsea Handler:
Just on this podcast. That’s the only time I’ve ever seen you.
Glennon Doyle:
Won’t it be freaky when she walks in to see you and you’re like, “Oh, she’s a whole-
Chelsea Handler:
And she’s like six foot-
Glennon Doyle:
… person”?
Chelsea Handler:
… four. And I’m like, “Wait, what? What is this?”
Abby Wambach:
She is tall.
Glennon Doyle:
She is tall. She’s very tall.
Chelsea Handler:
How tall are you, Sissy?
Amanda Doyle:
I used to be 5’9″, but life has been the death of me, and now I’m 5’8″.
Chelsea Handler:
We’re all shrinking. You guys, my oldest dog, Bernice is shrinking. Every day I’m like, “Are you…” She’s like a Shrinky Dink. I’m like, “She’s transitioning into the afterlife,” and she just keeps getting smaller and smaller, but it’s so fucking cute. It’s like a little teddy bear, and she used to be a big bitch and now she’s older and softening rather than hardening, and these last months with her have been beautiful, but I mean, she’s fine, but she’s on her way out, I think.
Amanda Doyle:
Did you name your tour after her? She’s the Little Big Bitch now?
Chelsea Handler:
Little Big Bitch. No, but it was an inspiration. I mean, I’m her mother, so we take on a lot of the same qualities. They say your dogs end up like you, and she definitely is. She has no time for bullshit. She doesn’t pretend to care about people’s feelings, she doesn’t try to make people more comfortable. When they come up to pet her, she’s like, “No, thank you. Not interested.” People want to take photos with her. She’s like, “Also, I didn’t sign up for this life.” I’m like, “That’s right, Bernice. You-
Amanda Doyle:
That’s right, Bernice.
Chelsea Handler:
… stand up for yourself. Have some self-respect.”
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah. I feel like our dogs mirror us, too. We have a French Bulldog and a really, really sweet Goldendoodle who does remind me of Abby.
Abby Wambach:
Who do you think the French Bulldog reminds people of?
Chelsea Handler:
I can’t imagine. Who could it be? Oh my god. Congrats to Tish on her new song and album.
Glennon Doyle:
I know.
Abby Wambach:
I know.
Chelsea Handler:
How fucking cool is that? You must be beaming.
Glennon Doyle:
What in the world?
Chelsea Handler:
Exploding with pride.
Glennon Doyle:
She played at the hotel café the other night. Chelsea, she’s just a baby and she’s on the stage and she’s so fucking good.
Chelsea Handler:
I know. Isn’t that amazing? Isn’t it amazing that you can create something, and then they blow you away? You’re like, “Wait, what? This is mine?”
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah. It feels like, you know in Pinocchio, there’s Geppetto and he’s just making the doll, and then the doll comes to life. That’s how I feel. I’m like, “Wait,” because it’s weird when your kid does something that you don’t know how to do at all, because then you realize that something fucking magical is going on here.
Abby Wambach:
Yeah, but here’s the thing. The thing that I think is so cool about it, and I can relate in some ways, when I was young and a great athlete, because we don’t understand good singing or music really, we don’t understand anything about it, when she comes off stage and we’re like, “Wow, that was amazing.” She’s like, “Are you guys surprised?”
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah, she’s sick of hearing it.
Abby Wambach:
“I work on this every day. This is what I do. Why are you so surprised?” And I totally understand that. So she came of the stage and I’m like, “Good job. I thought you did well.”
Chelsea Handler:
“Way to go. We expected that.”
Abby Wambach:
Yeah, yeah.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah, and I think Brandi’s trying to teach me to chill. She tells me, “Less enthusiasm, more allyship of Tish.” But-
Chelsea Handler:
More allyship.
Glennon Doyle:
I know. I’m like, “Whatever.” But-
Chelsea Handler:
You’re like, “How am I supposed to be her ally? I’m her mother.”
Glennon Doyle:
And less enthusiasm? Okay, I’ll work on that. So Brandi’s kid is somehow this amazing soccer player. And so-
Chelsea Handler:
Oh, really?
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah. And so, Brandi’s relying on this one, and let me tell you, she’s really fucking enthusiastic, because she’s like, “What? How did this happen?” Anyway-
Chelsea Handler:
That’s perfect. It’s like a kid swap, a talent swap.
Glennon Doyle:
Exactly.
Abby Wambach:
Exactly right.
Glennon Doyle:
We are swapping.
Abby Wambach:
That’s exactly right.
Glennon Doyle:
Can you tell me how your book’s going and what you’re writing about?
Chelsea Handler:
Well, we’ll see. I handed it in, most of it, not all of it. I’m not done, but I handed in a big chunk of it last week, so I’m waiting for feedback.
Glennon Doyle:
Oh, god. That’s the worst.
Chelsea Handler:
So it’s about being a woman, and it’s about not listening to any of the constructs that anyone tells you make you valuable and that you don’t have to be a wife or a mother or do any of the bullshit that people tell us we have to do in order to be valuable in society and that this life that I’ve created, with a lot of help from my fans is glorious and filled with unadulterated joy, and I want all women to know that it’s possible to achieve unadulterated blissfulness if you really get after it.
If you really are true to who you are and you listen to who you are and you do the work and you make sure that you heal from whatever screwed you up, and you can continue to look and grow and think and ask questions, that you can live an incredible life without any of those things, and in doing so, you can actually even have an impact on more people. I feel like I have, for sure. I mean, in Whistler, I come up here for the winter to ski. I’ve been here for three months basically, mostly. I’ve been touring a little bit in Canada, but I have, basically, a daycare center going on at my house.
Glennon Doyle:
I know you do.
Chelsea Handler:
I mean, I have so many children coming through this house, ages two to 10 to 15, boys, girls, they all come over here. If I had my kids, I wouldn’t have any time for that.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah, that’s right.
Chelsea Handler:
So I have time and energy and the bandwidth for all sorts of gloriousness, and I get so much joy out of having kids over, and then kicking them out.
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
You know what I’m saying?
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
It’s a wrap. I’m not your mother. Get out of here.
Glennon Doyle:
Yes. We have two homes, because we’re a broken family, so we also get to do that. We get to say, “I am your mother, but you still have to go,” and they go back.
Chelsea Handler:
Well, nobody really talks about the positives of broken homes.
Abby Wambach:
That’s right.
Chelsea Handler:
They don’t ever talk about divorce allowing you to get your life back, because someone else who also cares as much about your children is getting them 50% of the time, you get a break, and then you’re able to dive in even more and more healthfully when you get your kids back. So I feel like people should be advertising that.
Glennon Doyle:
I had this moment-
Abby Wambach:
I agree.
Glennon Doyle:
… I was on a walk with a friend recently, which is so exciting for me to say, “I went on a walk with a friend.”
Amanda Doyle:
She just really needed to work that in. That’s the end of her comment.
Chelsea Handler:
Glennon’s like, “What kind of activities can I say I got up to this week?”
Glennon Doyle:
I did. I walked, okay? I walked with a new friend, and she was talking about her broken family and she was talking about how the kids leave and go to their dad’s, and she said, “I feel so bad when they leave, because I want to be with them all the time.” And I stopped her and I said, “Is that true?” And she goes, “No.”
Chelsea Handler:
No, it’s not true for anyone. No one wants that.
Glennon Doyle:
It’s not fucking true. And you know what’s cool is you keep saying unadulterated joy and it’s such a funny word. It’s like, to have that you have to not just do all the things that people tell you adults have to do. It’s like you’re-
Chelsea Handler:
Well, that, yes.
Glennon Doyle:
… unadulterated.
Chelsea Handler:
And then, yes. And then, you have to really be searching for happiness. I don’t want to be unhappy. I want to be happy, so anything that’s in my way that’s unhappy, I’m just like, “Oh, that doesn’t fit in,” and learning how to deal with the things that aren’t vibing with your life or not getting so upset when something doesn’t go well, to understand that that’s okay, too. It’s your attitude that makes the impact, it’s your attitude that makes the difference. If you have an attitude that’s like, “Yeah, okay. This didn’t work out, but I’m still going to be in a good mood.” That’s all I can control. I can’t control the outcome of things, all I can control is my positive disposition and this wasn’t how I was my whole life. This is in my 40s I realized, “Okay, how do I get truly happy and make myself happy and be selfish without being guilty?”
And all of those things that you think, I remember growing up thinking, whenever I had feelings of jealousy or insecurity or if I wanted somebody to get their own karma served up to them, when someone does you dirty and you’re like, “I can’t wait for them to get it,” I would have those thoughts and think, “I’m a bad person. I must be a bad person.” And it’s like, “No, no. You’re a human being.” Those are just thoughts. You’re not acting on them. You’re not purposely seeking out a way for this person to get retribution. But to accept everything the way that it is and to actually not think, like I always used to think, “Oh, selfish is so bad, selfish is so bad.” Selfish is not so bad, you need to be a little bit selfish in order to be happy.
Abby Wambach:
You have to.
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Amanda Doyle:
It’s like selfish, that word doesn’t work, because it has so much cultural meaning around it that doesn’t even make sense. I always think about how self-centered is pejorative, but then no one asks, “If you weren’t centered on yourself, what the fuck are you centered on?”
Chelsea Handler:
Others. Exactly, what are you supposed to be centered on?
Amanda Doyle:
That just doesn’t even make any sense.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah.
Chelsea Handler:
Yeah. I used to think that. I used to think, “Oh, god.” It’s so funny, because when you go to therapy, in my instance, I was trying to get my own head out of my own ass. I thought I was too self-absorbed, because there’s all these self things. Self-absorbed, self-centered, self… and the irony is that in order to become less self-absorbed, you have to sit around and talk about yourself-
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
… ad infinitum for possibly years. So you’re like, “Wait, I’m trying to get out of my own ass and all I’m doing is sitting her talking to a therapist about me.”
Glennon Doyle:
Totally.
Chelsea Handler:
So it’s a tricky endeavor.
Abby Wambach:
And I also think that, I’ve just gotten into therapy recently, over the last six months, and the thing that I’ve gathered the most is I have really prided myself on being so other minded that I have lost a sense of myself. And I think that in order to be able to have a good balance of those things, first and foremost, you have to have a relationship with yourself, and to call it selfish, it’s like the very first thing that you need in order to be able… it’s like putting on your own mask on an airplane first, before you can take care of somebody else. You can’t do it-
Chelsea Handler:
Selfishness, a healthy dose of it, leads to self-respect.
Abby Wambach:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
Because if you are selfish enough to know what you need and know what you’re going to do, what you need to perform well for the world. Right? The reason I meditate every day is to make sure I’m not a cunt. I’m like, “Okay, don’t be a cunt today. You are one. Try really hard not to be, and we’re going to try,” and it’s gotten easier and easier not to be one. Right? But in doing that, in having self-respect and having my selfish time, or in having selfish acts, which some people could say, “Oh, you have to meditate every morning.” They could categorize that as selfish.
Anything could be considered selfish, but selfishness leads to self-respect. I do believe that, because I do respect myself. I know what I need. I know when I’m going to have a full cup of energy or if I’m depleted and I need to remove myself from the situation because I’m not bringing my best vibes, and not to expose other people to that when you’re not in the best mood or you’re in a negative head space or anything like that, and the more you practice that, the less that becomes your norm.
Glennon Doyle:
How does meditating… this is also how I decuntify myself.
Abby Wambach:
Oh, love it.
Glennon Doyle:
How does meditating make you less of a cunt?
Chelsea Handler:
Because I sit there, I’m giving myself that 20 minutes each morning or 15, whatever it ends up being, and my intention is to be joyful and spread good vibes and to spread joy and to be calm and nonreactive and to understand not everything is my responsibility and just to be like a light breeze going through the world, so that when anybody interacts with me, they feel better after it, rather than worse.
Glennon Doyle:
That’s good. I always feel like I have to meet with so many people during the day, and so I should know who they’re going to meet. That’s what meditating is for me. It’s like I wake up every morning and I’m like, “I don’t know what we’re going to get today.” And so, sitting for a while and just letting whoever I am that day arise is good information for me to have, as I go in to sit with other people.
Amanda Doyle:
Sometimes she’ll text me and be like, “We’re about to jump on this meeting. I need you to know that the self I am today is homicidal, so I might pick some fights. So I’m just going to need you to just be aware of that and reign me in.”
Glennon Doyle:
But isn’t that helpful? Because then it’s not personal-
Amanda Doyle:
It’s very helpful.
Glennon Doyle:
… to the other person. If somebody is a dick to me, I think that they don’t like me, but if somebody tells me before they talk to me that they are a dick today, then I just think they’re a dick. That’s helpful.
Chelsea Handler:
That is helpful.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah, okay.
Chelsea Handler:
Wiser words have never been spoken.
Glennon Doyle:
Thank you, Chelsea. Thank you. Here’s how I trust your version of happiness, because I feel like everybody is always just like, “Just find what makes you happy. Just be blissful,” whatever. But I feel like your sort of happiness is very hard won. There’s a lot of hard stuff, you have to go into a lot of ickiness before you get to figuring out who you actually are. Sister, ask your question in the way that you were talking to me about it. How do you know who you are?
Amanda Doyle:
Oh, I really hope you can solve this for me, Chelsea. It would really clean up a lot of my life, but you have this value of being 100% you. I’m 100% me. I go out in the world, that’s who I am. And what I’m trying to figure out is how do we know what is really us? We are what we are, but part of that we came to the world with and part of that we developed because of being in the world, so defense mechanisms or trauma responses or adaptations to help you navigate through your family when you were little, whatever it is.
And so, when we try to start healing, how do we distinguish between those two things, because they all seem to be presenting as who I am? So how do you make sure you’re getting rid of the stuff that isn’t truly of you?
Chelsea Handler:
Well, don’t you think… I mean, I don’t think, I know this to be true, so I think it’s about how in touch we are with ourselves when we know something that truly makes us happy versus something that we’re told is supposed to make us happy. When I discovered skiing, for instance, this is the peak of my happiness. Skiing, to me, is happy making. I am so 100% present, and that’s where happiness comes form, from being present, because that’s where all your joy comes from.
When you’re laughing at someone and you’re cuddling with someone, when you’re in bed laughing with someone, you’re loving it because you’re there. You’re 100% there. When you’re skiing, you have to be 100% there. When Abby’s playing soccer, she’s 100% there, and that’s unadulterated bliss, because you love it. You have to pay attention, definitely, to the things… Sometimes when I notice myself pretending or being fake, in the couple of times that’s happened-
Glennon Doyle:
In that one time in ’89.
Chelsea Handler:
I know, I’m like, “Ooh, ah.” Or even if I’m fraudulent… even if there’s a temperature of ass kissing or you have to kind of be really good to someone or you have to, I don’t know, impress someone, that feeling is so tangible. You know that when you’re not feeling authentic, when you’re like, “Oh, I hated that I just did that.” For me, it’s being fake to someone. I can’t be fake to someone. If I don’t like someone, they’ll know, and I’m fine with that, too. I’m not there to make everyone happy. I’m there to make the people I love and my fans, me happy.
So I think it’s the knowing that Glennon talks about in her books also, is that knowing. When you sit with yourself, you know what is real and what isn’t and what really does make you happy. For me, it’s laughter, it’s skiing, it’s fun with my friends, it’s having chaos around. I love chaos. I love tons of people in my house. I love that, especially when I’m downstairs or upstairs out of it and I-
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
… can hear it from afar. I’m like, “That is joyful to me.” I’m not in charge, but it’s around. And we’ve been dealt this card our whole lives about what we’re supposed to do, and instead of actually thinking and drilling down about what we really want, we’re always trying to make everyone else happy. And when you’re making other people happy, that’s not a recipe for your own happiness. So it is about listening to yourself. It’s about listening to who you are and the stillness. And also, I get that from meditation, to understand who I am. And there was a period of time, I don’t know if I spoke about this last time I was on this podcast, but there was a period of time after therapy, I thought, “Okay, I’m going to go to two years of therapy, and then great. And then, I’ll be done and I’ll be fixed.”
But the application of what you learn in therapy, after therapy, is also its own thing. And the self-awareness that comes with therapy leads to a lot of self-criticism, immolation, where you’re like, “Oh my god. I was so embarrassing. I can’t believe I used to act like that. I can’t believe I went off on this person in front of…” All of that comes up, and that is not happy. That is unpleasant and those feelings are enveloping you and you’re kind of ashamed, at least I was ashamed of my behavior.
And then, I got to a point where I realized, “Okay, the past is the past. All you have control of is making a new impression to anyone you’ve offended, to anyone you were not nice to or kind to or anyone you blew off or whatever.” When those wagons circle around again, you have an opportunity to make a new impression, instead of beating yourself up for what has been, because there’s nothing you can do about that. And I know the saying, the adage, “There’s nothing you can do about the past,” I don’t even think it’s an adage. It’s just a sentence, but there really isn’t.
All you can do is pivot and focus on who you are going to be moving forward, and with that comes a lot of calm, because you’re like, “Yeah, I can handle that. I’m not going to fuck up again in that way. I’m going to actually be more graceful and act with more aplomb moving forward,” and there’s a lot of freedom in that and that is a daily practice. That’s like, “Okay, every day I’m on it to be better than I used to be,” instead of harping on that, because a lot of people get stuck in that or they’re working towards the future.
And that’s the other thing that I’ve learned through meditation, and I do a lot of guided meditations, it’s like you can’t be worried about the past or the future. I mean, obviously, we’re all worried about the future, we’re all thinking about whatever, the election, your children, college, careers, blah, blah, blah, but really to be present in each moment is a gift that we give ourselves and it’s up to us to kind of cultivate that. And I’m not a corny person, I’m a realist, so if I know about it and I’m telling people about it, it’s true, and it works.
Glennon Doyle:
Mm-hmm. You’re very Buddhist. Are you Buddhist?
Chelsea Handler:
No, I’m not Buddhist, but I love that body type.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah.
Chelsea Handler:
I have a new dog, Doug, he is full-bodied and I call him Buddha all the time, because there’s nothing I love more than a full-bodied dog.
Glennon Doyle:
Okay, so you’re a little Buddhist is what you’re saying.
Chelsea Handler:
Yes, yes.
Amanda Doyle:
She’s Buddish.
Glennon Doyle:
She’s Buddish.
Chelsea Handler:
Yeah, Buddish, Buddish.
Glennon Doyle:
It’s onto something. But is it possible, you guys, this is what I suspect, that there’s really no such thing as personality as something that’s inherent to who we actually are. I think that the reason why meditation, therapy, all of this stuff works is because it does make you realize that you are just a collection of adaptations, survival adaptations, and that who we actually are underneath that, which we usually only get glimpses of is what you’re describing, is this awareness, this consciousness, this beauty, this joy, this peace, this full presence, that that is actually what we are, at our core is just this pure beautiful awareness and everything else is shit we put on to make it through this Earth. But who we are, of course we all develop personalities, but I think who we are is that, is who we are in meditation.
Chelsea Handler:
Yeah, it’s our essence, right? Our essence is the best version of ourselves, the purest version of ourselves like ebullience, like lightness and joy. Not everyone is that, but deep down, yeah, I think we all are that. It’s exactly what you’re saying, and I always think of that. I always think, “Okay, what’s my essence?” Because when I’m not firing at 150, it’s like, “Well, my essence is up here. Am I going to meet my essence?” The essence is the best version that you have of yourself.
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
And it’s pure.
Glennon Doyle:
And that’s why it’s hilarious to think that it’s selfish or whatever to do these things, to go to therapy, to meditate, because what the world needs is that version of you in the world. When you do those things and then you expose yourself to the world, you are what everyone on Earth needs to be around.
Chelsea Handler:
And also, when you really are centered and focused and you’re doing all of your healing and all of those things, you are lending light to other people also. So you’re-
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
… giving back without even knowing it, because that’s why people are attracted to you, that’s why people want to be around you, because they want that energy, they want that vibe, they want to feel good, they want to laugh, they want to have fun. And I used to think of that as a responsibility, almost like an onus like, “Oh, god. I can’t go to this party. Everyone’s going to expect me to be the life of the party.”
Glennon Doyle:
I bet.
Chelsea Handler:
But no one’s expecting you to do that, but if it’s your choice and you love doing that, then you’re putting the blame on others for what you like about yourself, and that’s where you get tricked up, I think, at least that’s where I got tricked up, where I thought I had a responsibility, and then it became a burden to have a personality, to be like I am. And I’m like, “Wait a second, no, no, no, no, no. This is who I am. Why am I blaming other people for wanting me to be who I am? That’s not their responsibility, that’s my responsibility.”
So you have to dig deeper and understand why you’re upset that people want to be around you or that they like being around you. I mean, it’s much better than people not wanting to be around you. I mean, I speak for myself, Glennon, I know you don’t want people to be around you.
Glennon Doyle:
Correct.
Amanda Doyle:
Her real essence is-
Chelsea Handler:
Her real essence-
Amanda Doyle:
… not wanting people around.
Chelsea Handler:
… is alone.
Abby Wambach:
I actually disagree.
Glennon Doyle:
No, I’m a fucking delight these days.
Abby Wambach:
I disagree with that now. She’s done a lot of work over the last couple of years, and-
Glennon Doyle:
Go on a walk with a friend.
Abby Wambach:
Yeah, you’re doing things.
Amanda Doyle:
One or two people she has around her now.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah.
Amanda Doyle:
Sometimes two.
Glennon Doyle:
But I understand so much of what you’re saying, because actually I was sitting with Whitney in the car, I’ve told this story many times, but in New York and I had to go into some meeting and do the thing, and I said, “I don’t think I can do this.” And she said, “All you have to do is be yourself.” And I said, “Whitney, I do not know how much longer I can keep that up.” And I-
Chelsea Handler:
That’s awesome.
Glennon Doyle:
… meant it.
Chelsea Handler:
Oh, that’s a great line.
Amanda Doyle:
But it’s so true, because that thing that you’re talking about at the center of, “This is my personality. This is who I am, therefore, wherever I go this is what people are going to expect of me, and therefore that becomes I’m performing my own personality for them.”
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
Right, right.
Amanda Doyle:
With you, and you are just a comedy genius, you are so fucking funny, but it’s hard for me to divorce that from what it seems to me like you grew up being funny, because you felt that burden to make your family happy again, to bring laughter back into your home after you lost your brother. So you did that to help the people around you, and then in your life that’s expected of you.
It just seems like maybe it doesn’t matter where it originally came from. Maybe that intellectual exercise that I keep being like, “If it is born of trauma, if it is born of pain, then it needs to be eradicated.” Maybe that’s bullshit. That’s the whole not being present. If presently, right now, this is what I want and who I am, then it’s okay.
Chelsea Handler:
Well, it’s like turning your pain into purpose. Right? I mean, what is pain if you don’t turn it into something powerful? And being able to make people laugh or smile or feel good is a gift, and it’s not a burden. So I think until you, well, until I did all of my own personal digging, I started to get irritated at the responsibility that was expected of me like, “Ugh, I have to go to this thing, and they’re going to want this,” and blah, blah. Just cunty attitude. And then, I flipped it and I was like, “Life can be so much easier when you’re positive and when you’re optimistic.” Even though sometimes that just seems unfathomable, it can be so much easier, instead of fighting and resisting what’s happening, going with it.
For instance, I’m on tour, but I’m only doing Canadian dates while I’m here in winter, because I like to be up here in Whistler and base myself out of here, and less guns. Sometimes I’m like, “Oh, I have to go away this weekend? I have to go to Vancouver, and then go to the airport? And then… ugh.” I don’t even allow that anymore. I’m like, “You’re lucky that people are paying money to see you live, you’re so lucky that you get to live this life, and that you get to go on stage in front of all these people that pay money to see you. Do you know how grateful I am now that I understand how lucky I am, instead of being that immature kid that was like, “Ugh, ugh, ugh.”
And I’m not talking about, Glennon, I know it’s different, everyone has anxiety or they have some situation they’re dealing with, I don’t have lots of anxiety, so it’s not like I’m getting over something like that. It is more natural to me, but the attitude shift wasn’t something I was aware of. And then, once I started practicing it, just be grateful. I used to be annoyed with my agents. I’m like, “I don’t want this.” They’d come to me with some offer. I’m like, “You think I’m going to do that?” Just total-
Glennon Doyle:
I do that, too. Why?
Chelsea Handler:
Just like-
Glennon Doyle:
If anything happens, anything, someone calls, the doorbell, knocks, email, opportunity, “Ew.”
Chelsea Handler:
Yes, yes.
Glennon Doyle:
What is that?
Chelsea Handler:
I don’t know. It’s just like, “You’re bothering me. There’s a mosquito on my shoulder. Get away. I’m having a good time right now. Don’t bother me.” And once I was like, “Stop that. Stop all of that, just be grateful for everything that comes your way, whether you’re going to do it or not. Thank you. Thank you so much for bringing this my way. Thank you.” Now I send my agents, my publicists, my managers, whomever’s on my team, I’m always sending everyone, “Thank you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you.” I don’t get an email without responding to it. Actually, if anyone’s listening to this, they’re going to disagree, because I’m sure I have some emails that I haven’t responded to, but-
Glennon Doyle:
You are an amazing responder.
Chelsea Handler:
Thank you. That is the biggest gift that I have learned, is just to be so appreciative and so grateful for everything that comes your way. You’re not too good for anything. Just be appreciative. And by doing that, all my relationships have changed.
Glennon Doyle:
Wow.
Chelsea Handler:
All my professional relationships where it used to be a level of irritation or like, “Ah, I have to go to this photo shoot. You better tell them I can only do two hours.” It’s like, “Yeah, you better tell them I can only do two hours, but I’m going to be in a really good mood when I get there.”
Glennon Doyle:
Yes. God, because it’s changing your neural pathways.
Chelsea Handler:
Totally. Exactly.
Glennon Doyle:
That’s what’s happening. The thing happens. It’s not our fault, we just made a habit. It’s like water goes into our brain and there’s one path for it to go down, which is, “Fuck, somebody else asked me to do something.” And you’re just stopping the water, putting it down a different pathway, which then it starts to go down there by itself, which is actually your experience of your day and every minute becomes joyful because the water’s going down gratitude instead of duty, I guess.
Chelsea Handler:
Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. That’s been the biggest shift in my life. Yeah. I know now, situations like, “No, no. Don’t go down that road.” If someone’s really negative around me, I won’t hang out with that person again. If someone’s complaining all the time, no, I don’t have the bandwidth for it. I’m here to spread happiness and light. That’s what I’m doing. That’s my job in life.
Amanda Doyle:
Is that whole agent shift from defensiveness and annoyance to gratitude, I feel like that could be very, very much related to the whole self-centered thing we were talking about before. Because if you don’t center yourself, then it’s actually the most selfish thing you can do, because then, if you’re not taking care of yourself, then every person around you, de facto, you are requiring them to take care of you.
Glennon Doyle:
That’s what I did.
Chelsea Handler:
Absolutely.
Amanda Doyle:
You are extracting from them the expectation that, “Since I’m sacrificing myself to not take care of myself, on y’all’s behalf, you better be taking care of me.” And then, when you shift that and you’re like, “No, I’ve got me,” then the natural outgrowth of that is, “I don’t have to be defensive and suspicious of you and worried that you’re going to fuck me over, because I’m not going to get fucked over, because I’m taking care of myself.”
Abby Wambach:
That’s good.
Glennon Doyle:
Oh my god. That’s it.
Chelsea Handler:
Yeah, like you’re the tree. I’m the tree. You’re not going to fucking blow me away. I’m here to stay and I’m solid and I’m on my feet and I’m grounded. Grounded is the word of the last five years for me, because I’ve never felt more grounded. When you’re flying around, like a bunch of leaves, you can’t help anyone, you can’t be a good influence on anyone. You don’t have the bandwidth for other people, because you’re not centered and there’s nothing you can give, because you’re barely hanging on yourself, so I think what you said is so beautiful. That is so true.
Glennon Doyle:
That is so true.
Chelsea Handler:
You’re giving a gift to the world when you get your own shit together.
Glennon Doyle:
Yes, you are. And it’s, “I don’t got me.” That’s what I was saying every time somebody asked for anything, I think it’s fear.
Amanda Doyle:
Yes, it’s genuine, real survival.
Glennon Doyle:
I don’t know what my boundaries are. I don’t know how to get out of this is I need to. I don’t know, so just fuck off all the time, instead of like, “Oh, yeah. Come in, because I know the second I feel like you not being here. I’ll ask you to leave. I’ve got me.” So it allows you to be more generous.
Chelsea Handler:
Absolutely more generous. And you’re right, I mean, what you said is so on the money. It is selfish not to do the work, it is selfish to sit around in a state of irritation constantly at people and think they’re tugging at you. No, you put yourself in that situation to begin with, so you owe it to everybody to do the work. I mean, I’ve been dealing with this a lot in my life recently. There’s a lot of people in my life that are kind of at a crossroads or need some sort of intervention, and I’ll go the distance for people I care about. I will go-
Glennon Doyle:
Yes, you will.
Chelsea Handler:
… and I will sit with you and hold your hand until you get your feet underneath you. But when someone isn’t trying to help themselves, when you’re trying to help them, you feel so not disrespected, because it’s not an ego thing, it’s just so disappointed. It’s like, “It doesn’t have to be this way.” When people are unhappy in their lives, you don’t have to be that way. It doesn’t have to be that way, and people think that’s the default and, “Oh, well nothing works out for me.” And it’s like, “But there’s a reason. You can turn that around. We’re all capable of turning the beat around.”
Glennon Doyle:
How do we take this grounded, joyful energy and maintain it through this next time of our lives, which is going to be the election? I need you to help us understand, because just like I trust your happiness, because of how you found it, I also trust your happiness, because you do not get happy and then abandon all of us. You get happy and you stay powerful and you stay engaged and you do not go to sleep like sleeping beauty. You stay civically aware and engaged. So what are we going to do to not lose our shit like we did last time? How are we going to stay grounded?
Chelsea Handler:
The good news is, we’ve been through this once before, so it’s not the first time. I’m not looking forward to this period of time at all, but I also agree with you. I’m not sitting anything out. I did realize, last time, that my voice is much more helpful when I use a little bit more discernment and strategy rather than, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,” screaming and yelling about how much I hate Donald Trump and Ivanka’s veneers. We’ve already gone down this road, and not that this wouldn’t be worse if this were to come to fruition, but I know now how to calibrate my efforts and when to use my voice so that it’s actually meaningful, instead of just a cacophony of me shouting and yelling. That’s something that I’ve learned, too, and I’m sure you guys can related to that, because we’re all like, “Ugh.”
Everything that’s going on, you want to be involved and, obviously, as a woman, this is serious. But I’m hopeful that this won’t happen, that Trump doesn’t get in office, and that we do have another four years of Biden. I was talking to this kid yesterday and he was like, “Oh, well student loans. Biden fucked that up.” I’m like, “Biden… what are you talking about? You don’t even understand what’s happening. Biden didn’t screw that up. There’s so much on the line here. You think Biden, as an 81-year-old, 82-year-old, whatever is excited to be the president again? He is doing us a service.”
So let me not go off on that tangent, I already did, but I guess to answer your question, I don’t have an answer to that question. I don’t know how we maintain joyfulness during this time, but I do know how to maintain optimism and not become a defeatist and to just keep looking, keep your eye on the ball and keep figuring out how to be engaged in what we’re dealing with, how to help educate people, how to use your voice in ways that are going to be beneficial, instead of just screaming and yelling all the time. But I don’t have an answer, if the worst thing does happen, what we do then, because that is despair, on behalf of women everywhere. We talked about this last time he was elected. Yes, women like me, maybe, aren’t so affected, I can afford to leave the country, I can afford to get an abortion, if I need one. I mean, if I do need one, that would be a big surprise, because I’m 49.
But you’re fighting for the next generation. We’re fighting for the children of this country. We’re fighting for the future of this country. And I think there’s a lot of optimism in that, just be nature of wanting the best for people and to just keep that. We want to move forward. We want to keep the ball rolling forward, lends itself to optimism without looking at every loss like, “Ugh.” And also, I think it’s very, very healthy to not be in it every single day.
Glennon Doyle:
Every single second. Yeah.
Chelsea Handler:
Not to be reading the news. There’s no reason we have a two-year ramp up to an election. Who wants to fucking listen to this noise for two years? We could’ve skipped Ron DeSantis altogether.
Glennon Doyle:
Oh, god.
Chelsea Handler:
Why would we be paying attention to that when he’s not even nominated. So I don’t know, I mean, I’m all over the map with that. I don’t think I answered your question, but I do think that optimism is necessary to achieve the goal, the intention and to educate people. They’re both 82 years old. Okay, do you want someone who cares about people or do you want the other one?
Glennon Doyle:
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it feels like we’re going to have to do what we did and you did with the gratitude neural pathways. That’s how I feel like I have to figure out a way to change my neural pathways every time I hear something meant to ruin my day. It has to be like, “Nope, not that.” Every time, it has to be that I’m forcing the water to another thing. It’s like, “That’s awful. What am I going to do and say that’s smart-
Chelsea Handler:
Yes, yes.
Glennon Doyle:
… strategic, careful-
Chelsea Handler:
Exactly.
Glennon Doyle:
… responsible?”
Chelsea Handler:
Exactly.
Glennon Doyle:
That’s not just self-indulgent, but is actually helpful.
Chelsea Handler:
Yes, right. And you’re getting information. Everything’s a data point, right? We get information, then we know how to be active. So even if it’s bad information, it gives us knowledge and information for us to move forward in a different direction. Okay, we’ve got to combat this now. Now we have to fight for this. It’s not a defeatist like, “Ugh, the world’s ending,” because that’s how I was the first time, and I refuse to let that happen again. I’m not going to be sitting there watching the news on a 24-hour spin cycle. It’s cancerous.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah.
Amanda Doyle:
Yes. It is, and on the deepest level, because there’s the top level of public engagement, how do we get people to not go numb, to not ignore it, to stay engaged? And there’s the strategy level, and then there’s also the deeply person level of when you are a person with self-respect, rage is a very reasonable, visceral response to who the fuck are these people trying to tell me… and actually telling me what I can do with my body? Who are these people trying to tell trans people that they don’t have a right to exist and they can’t get their kids the healthcare that they need?
So I’m just talking about, at the cellular level, during the last election, I am for sure it took a couple of years off my life, my actual wellness and being, because of the way that my body metabolized that rage and fear. And I just, as a matter of justice, can’t let those people who are trying to ruin my life actually ruin my body, too-
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah, that’s good.
Amanda Doyle:
… and my experience of life. So have you found a way, so that you can metabolize that rage, instead of letting it metastasize, like you’re talking about it becoming a cancer? How does it move through you when you hear those things?
Chelsea Handler:
I don’t have so much weight on everything the way that I used to. Every decision that comes down that now an embryo is a person, that’s so stupid that I’m like, “I don’t have time to even consider this.” It’s just too dumb, and that’s not the answer, because it does effect people. The level of ridiculousness makes it almost comical. You’re like, “I can’t even participate in going back and forth about that, because it’s too stupid. It’s like you telling me the sky is green when it’s blue. I’m not going to sit there and talk…”
I was on the chairlift the other day and I was with a friend of mine and he and I were going skiing and this woman’s next to us and we were just talking about how Taylor Swift, how she’s crushing it, how’s she’s the most powerful person in the world right now and with regard to the election, “Oh, I wonder what her plan is, if she’s going to do something.” And the woman on the chairlift who was sitting at the end said, “Well, I don’t believe Taylor Swift is who she says she is.”
And it’s a beautiful day, there’s snow everywhere and I look and I said, “I’m sorry. What?” And she says, “I don’t believe Taylor Swift is who she says she is. If you read about the cabal,” blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I said, “Miss,” and I said with the most sunny disposition, I said, “Please don’t speak again. Please. I’m having a wonderful day. You seem great, but that is really, really stupid and I don’t want to hear about a cabal on my day off.” Meanwhile, I’ve had like 30 days off, but she doesn’t know that.
And then, she was telling me, “I’ve spent a lot of time researching this.” I go, “Well then, that’s really sad that you’re researching Taylor Swift being part of some sort of Republican cabal. This is not critical thinking.” And she started to go in, I go, “Miss, I have to tell you. You have got to stop talking to me. You have to stop talking to me. I don’t have time for this in my brain,” and that’s how I feel. Don’t bother me with your thoughts, go over there and think them.
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
Don’t impress them upon me. I’m not open to them, and I don’t have to yell and scream at you anymore.
Glennon Doyle:
No.
Chelsea Handler:
I just have to be firm that I’m not interested or open to hearing about it.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah. That’s a different approach, though. That’s a different approach. My job is not to convince you of anything. That is a neural pathway. I have recently figured that out. Just recently. Oh, I’m supposed to analyze everything, do what helps me sleep at night, and that is my job. But my job is actually not to explain it 17 times to every single person who disagrees with me. Oh my god.
Chelsea Handler:
Yes.
Glennon Doyle:
That’s so helpful.
Chelsea Handler:
Yes, exactly. I used to fucking argue with anyone. I’d go at it. And now I’m like, “No, no, no, no. I don’t need to argue with you.” And also, I smile now when I saying things like that.
Glennon Doyle:
Oh, that’s great.
Chelsea Handler:
I’m not yelling or screaming.
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
I’m like, “Oh, that’s fun. Please stop talking to me.” Smile. That’s it. I had this guy the other day, I was writing about this, I had this guy, this is a few months ago, I pulled up to a parking meter and I’ve had trouble with men my whole life, so I get out and I run into this nail salon, because I forgot my wallet and he goes, “Miss, miss. You didn’t feed your meter.”
And I looked at him and I went, “Yeah, I know. It’s me. I’m me, and that’s the meter and I know I didn’t feed it. I’m sorry.” I go, “What are you getting at?” He goes, “Well, you’re going to get a ticket.” And I said, “But why do you care what I’m doing? You think this is my first interaction with a parking meter? Let’s see. I’m in my 40s.” And I’m smiling, I wasn’t yelling at him, because when you’re dealing with men, you have to be soft-
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
… because otherwise they’re like, “Ooh-
Amanda Doyle:
They’re soft.
Chelsea Handler:
… You’re a bitch.” And I’m like, “No, no, no.” I go, “I’m just so curious, why do you care? Why are you so invested in my parking meter?” He’s like, “I’m trying to help you.” And I go, “But would you say that to a guy? If a man pulled up here and didn’t pay his meter, would you scream after him saying, ‘Sir, you forgot to feed your meter’?” He’s like, “Absolutely.” And I go, “Okay, just think about that. I’m going to stay here with you.” I put my arm on his shoulder I go, “Let’s think about it together. Would you really?” And then, he went, “Oh.”
And I went, “So what you did just now could be construed as thoughtful. I think you thought you were being thoughtful, and that is nice that you’re being thoughtful. But just think about what it’s like to be a woman and having some strange man, who’s not a meter maid, telling you to feed your meter.” I go, “It’s a bunch of micro annoyances, and throughout the day, when you have enough of those, they become macro, and then you become the enemy. And now, I have to mansplain to you why women are so annoyed with men. You wouldn’t say that to a man, and you know you wouldn’t.”
And he was like, “No, you’re right. I wouldn’t.” And I never got aggressive, because I know now that that doesn’t get your point. You can’t land your point when you’re yelling or screaming, that’s a loss of control. So it’s so much funner to be smiling and… so much funner. So much more fun to be… actually, I’m going to go back to funner.
Glennon Doyle:
Funner’s good.
Chelsea Handler:
It’s so much funner to just be flirty almost when you’re going at it with someone.
Glennon Doyle:
Yes.
Chelsea Handler:
To be jocular and flirty and be like, “Isn’t that funny that you did that? Don’t you think it’s funny that you’re-
Glennon Doyle:
That’s from your-
Chelsea Handler:
… sexist?”
Glennon Doyle:
… groundedness. That’s from your groundedness. That’s more, “And I’m not scared that you just did that. I’ve got me, so let’s have some fun with this.”
Chelsea Handler:
Yes.
Glennon Doyle:
I have a theory about the next election and you two handled the last election very similarly. I’ll just tell you that I know separately the daily experiences. I think this election is going to be a little bit easier for you, no matter what happens, Chelsea, because of the work you’ve done personally. I think that, yes, all of this shit is about the county and politics and justice, but I also think it’s about our experience in our childhood homes. I truly think that all of the shit around the strong man, no bodily autonomy, all of it is cellularly… it activates, it triggers stuff from being a little girl.
Chelsea Handler:
Absolutely. And also, the sentiment… because that behavior and that male dominance feels so dated and out of style. When you meet a man, of which there are many now, that actually sit and listen to women, actually Canadian men, they let the women kind of run the show up here, and I respect them, because they know that we’re smarter and that we’re capable and they’re not meek or anything like that, they’re just respectful of women in a way that it’s like there’s something about Canadians. People are like, “Oh, they’re vanilla,” or whatever. I’m like, “No, it’s nice. It feels even and it feels equal and men respect you more so than, I think, in the States, because that quality and that kind of toxicity of men knowing what’s best for us is dated and it is out of style and the way forward is not through that.”
So I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump won, but I would be surprised if what feels like the very beginning of an enlightenment period that we’re living through, that will go well beyond the time that we are here, what we need is this huge awakening that people talk about and spiritualists talk about. And I feel like our conversations in the world, about gratitude about everyone now is therapy forward, people don’t look at it, people in England are going to therapy, and they’re the last ones.
Glennon Doyle:
Are they? Are they the stronghold?
Chelsea Handler:
They were the last men standing. So there is something happening here. There is a movement, and if that involves Trump serving another term, fine, but hopefully that’s not true. But we are, I feel, at the precipice of a tipping point where people are really becoming aware and awake about their spirituality and about everything we’re talking about, about who you really are and your energy and that we’re just a bunch of cells created here to make the world a better place, not a worse one.
Amanda Doyle:
And you’re protecting your energy. What you’re talking about with your approach to, “I am not going to take my precious, beautiful energy and throw it towards these aggressive voices and match them with aggressiveness.” You are, again, respecting yourself by saying, “I am putting my energy where it is valuable.” I mean, it makes me think of when Dad always used to say growing up, “Don’t wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.” That is what it feels like when we feel like we have to match crazy with crazy. You can just let crazy be crazy and use that energy to be in community with not crazy, and it’s the same amount of energy.
Chelsea Handler:
Exactly. And when crazy is left alone, crazy just goes and spins into a cyclone. You’re a grounding force, so when crazy gets you, they’re feeding off of your energy and using you to ground them and it’s like, “I’m not your grounding. I’m my grounding, so you stay away from me and you have no opening to me.”
Glennon Doyle:
I mean, really, the only thing crazier than really spending your one wild and precious life researching whether Taylor Swift is a cabal situation is choosing to have a conversation with someone who has dedicated their life to researching whether Taylor Swift… Right? That is some-
Chelsea Handler:
Also, yeah, I said to this woman, I go, “But just, also,” I go, “even if that’s true, say Taylor Swift is an avatar or whatever you think she is, I don’t know, the space man, I’m not even sure what you’re talking about, but say that’s true,” I go, “what are you going to do about it? What are you going to do about it? I want to have a good time. I’m here to have a good time, so that doesn’t fit into my good time.”
Glennon Doyle:
Chelsea. I just fucking love you so much.
Chelsea Handler:
Well, I love you guys.
Glennon Doyle:
So are just never going to come home then?
Chelsea Handler:
No, I’m coming home, I’m coming home.
Glennon Doyle:
Okay. Okay, good.
Chelsea Handler:
I’m wrapping up. I’m wrapping up here. I have to go back to work at some point.
Glennon Doyle:
Okay, all right. Well, text us when you get home.
Chelsea Handler:
I will, I will. I sent you a bunch of edibles, but you didn’t take them, so I’m disappointed in that.
Glennon Doyle:
Oh, stop. Wait, how did I accidentally get high recently?
Chelsea Handler:
Wow, you’ve been on a real tear.
Glennon Doyle:
I think you sent me-
Amanda Doyle:
Plus there was the wok, Chelsea. Don’t forget the wok she didn’t open.
Chelsea Handler:
Hold on. I’m writing it down. What’s the date?
Abby Wambach:
We were sent some THC gummies that Glennon thought that they were CBD gummies.
Glennon Doyle:
Chelsea sent me a big basket it was all CBD, which by the way, I don’t think does anything. All right?
Chelsea Handler:
It doesn’t.
Glennon Doyle:
It doesn’t. It does nothing.
Chelsea Handler:
No, no.
Glennon Doyle:
I mean, it’s candy, so that’s nice. I’ll eat it. But so, I ate all that, nothing happened.
Abby Wambach:
I came home from a trip and she was just acting a little strange. I’m like, “What the fuck?” I asked her, I was like, “Are you okay?” And like-
Glennon Doyle:
I felt scared of you.
Abby Wambach:
Yeah.
Glennon Doyle:
I was like, “I feel scared of you all of a sudden.”
Abby Wambach:
What’s going on? And all of a sudden, I realized there was this thing that somebody had sent to us and I looked close and it was like, “Five grams of THC.”
Glennon Doyle:
I took a few of them, and I thought they were CBD. I was trying to watch Love is Blind and I said, “Abby,” this is when she figured out I was high, I was like, “I can’t understand any of their intentions.”
Abby Wambach:
I was like, “What the fuck are you talking about?” She’s like, “I had one of these.” And I was like, “Oh my god. You’re stoned. You’re in a stone loop.”
Chelsea Handler:
Listen, I send these packages out all the time, and a lot of people I never hear from again, so I wonder what’s happening [inaudible 00:54:01]. Because I always get hit up. CBD doesn’t do anything. It’s like you may as well just rub it on your body, because it doesn’t have any impact.
Glennon Doyle:
No, it’s quite disappointing.
Chelsea Handler:
It’s a waste of time.
Glennon Doyle:
Yeah, but you are not a waste of time and we love you. Go ski. Thank you for this hour. You’re a damn joy.
Chelsea Handler:
I love you guys. Bye, Abby.
Glennon Doyle:
Bye.
Amanda Doyle:
Bye.
Chelsea Handler:
Bye.
Glennon Doyle:
I feel like we never have enough time with Chelsea, but if you would like to listen to more of Chelsea, we did an incredible episode about love and breaking up and how to survive it all. It was episode 115 called On Breaking Up and Being Unbreakable. Check that one out. All right. We love you and we will see you back here next time. Bye.