What Happened Last Weekend: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun & WE DID!

February 1, 2024

Glennon Doyle: Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. We are all in a fight. Everyone’s fighting. I’m fighting with Abby, Sister’s fighting with us. Everyone’s

Abby Wambach: fighting. Nobody’s fighting.

Amanda Doyle: It’s a pretend fight, which are the best fights where you could just scream at everyone and it’s pretend. So you can pretend.

Abby Wambach: There’s just like a little disgruntledness.[00:00:30]

Yeah.

Glennon Doyle: I think I’m a little tired because I woke up at,

Amanda Doyle: this is a true story,

Glennon Doyle: I woke up at 5am, you know why? To paint a picture of a sunset. I was so excited. I cannot believe. Really? You

Amanda Doyle: were, you woke yourself up like with excitement? At 5am.

Glennon Doyle: To paint. I can’t stop. I am so excited about this. I’ve painted 13 paintings.

I think I’m going to have an opening [00:01:00] in my house. I think I’m going to have one of those shows. I’m serious. You’re laughing and you think I’m joking. I’m not. I’m

Amanda Doyle: laughing because you’re serious.

Glennon Doyle: Yeah. I’m going to put my pictures up and I’m going to make my kids walk around with me. I’m going to wear something flowy.

I’m going to point at things.

Abby Wambach: She’s going to have an opening that nobody comes to. Oh no, no one’s going to come. I’m not going to invite them. But here’s the thing. I want to acknowledge this because I am so happy for you, Glennon. Okay. You have found something that you enjoy [00:01:30] doing. as a hobby. You have figured out a hobby, something that feels fun that literally wakes her up out of excitement from a sleep and that she wakes up and goes and does every morning.

Amanda Doyle: And you got, I’m not sure a fire would wake me up at 5 AM. Like And painting is waking

Glennon Doyle: you up. I know. And that’s amazing. I need you pod squad to understand if you could see

Amanda Doyle: these paintings. Well, we should post them. I will,

Glennon Doyle: but they for sure look like a kindergartner [00:02:00] made them. They’re just, I’m just saying kind of advanced precocious.

I feel like for sure an advanced kindergartner. If in my kindergarten class, someone had made them, I would have been like, these are good. Like if the person were five,

Abby Wambach: but you’ve been learning a lot about what it. She doesn’t use the brushes that you would expect a painter to use as much as she uses the paint tool that mixes the paints together.

She loves using that and cause she [00:02:30] likes the way that it sounds

and

Glennon Doyle: then you can mix colors. You get to make your own colors. And now here’s what I want to say about this. This is important. I think that people who are trying to figure out what they want. You know how a lot of people like me have throughout their life been so conditioned to figure out like what’s the good thing to do or what’s the right thing to do or what should I be doing or, and then you lose touch with this [00:03:00] thing on the inside that just has preferences.

I don’t know about these so called preferences people talk about, but if you’re painting a picture. Yeah. Oh, especially if you’re not that good at it. Okay. So you’re like, not really drawing anything. You’re just throwing some colors on the thing and you’re just, whatever, you know, what your inside self says.

It

says,

Glennon Doyle: I think there should be some red over there. And then [00:03:30] you put the red on and you’re like, I like that. I like that so much. But I don’t know who else could be talking, it’s just me. Like there’s no right or wrong, there’s no good or bad. I make a picture, nobody can say whether it’s good or bad or right or wrong.

They do when I write words. They sure do. They sure do. They sure do say it’s right or wrong. But with colors, what the hell

Abby Wambach: are people going to say? Do you find it’s making it easier for you to make other [00:04:00] decisions in your life because it’s giving you an opportunity to practice the art of just deciding constantly?

Yes. Constantly. Yes, I do. Because, like, you’re mixing colors. Why did you choose those colors to mix? And then you’re putting the colors somewhere on the canvas and you’re like, why did I do that? I don’t

Glennon Doyle: know. I mean, I will say one thing. I do appreciate how much you are supporting and being excited about each painting.

I don’t love the kids non reactions. I feel so excited when I make something and I’m like, [00:04:30] look at this. And I just don’t think that they are sufficiently.

Abby Wambach: I disagree. Excited or impressed. Emma is the most excited for you. That’s true. And Tish.

Amanda Doyle: She’s not impressed by much. No, she’s not. She’s really not.

That don’t impress Tish much. It’s just her nature.

Glennon Doyle: No. It’s her nature. No. She’s

Amanda Doyle: like Shania Twain.

Abby Wambach: I know. That don’t impress Tish much. Today she said,

Glennon Doyle: what is that? I said, it’s a sky. It’s clearly the sky. Sky. Sky. And she looked at me like No, it’s not. [00:05:00] Anyway, that’s why I have to have an opening and make them come and talk about each thing.

But what I’m saying, I’m going to an art store later. I’m going to pick out some new colors. If anyone wants to tell me where I could learn more about this, because now I’m just like trying to find random YouTube videos and stuff. But then if

Amanda Doyle: you learn, you might find out, Oh, red doesn’t go over there because the balance of color should be this way.

And then will that ruin

Glennon Doyle: it? No, because like [00:05:30] I’m looking at people’s things and the colors are fading into each other. Like there’s stuff I’d like to learn how to do. And then techniques, techniques, I believe it’s called as we in the art world call them techniques.

Abby Wambach: It’s the first present I’ve gotten you.

Yeah. Maybe in our whole relationship that you have really

Glennon Doyle: loved. Yeah. I have a little easel. Abby got me a little easel. And it’s set up on the upstairs table where we’re supposed to be eating dinner and there’s just paint everywhere [00:06:00] and yeah, that’s the drop cloths.

Abby Wambach: That’s the thing that I think we just need to learn from.

There’s no drop cloths. There’s just cloths that are dropped. There’s like hand towels that she has strewn about. And I asked her yesterday, do you think we should get some drop cloths, you know, to put under the. And over the furniture because the tool in which you mix the thing and she likes the way that it sounds.

But guess what happens when she shushes about the paint is getting everywhere and [00:06:30] you know,

Glennon Doyle: and it’s like, so I’m just up there by myself. I’m singing. I am a lonely painter. I live in a box of paints. I am Joni Mitchell. I am. I am. I am. Just painting. I’m going to become an old lady painter. And I just don’t think that there could be anything better.

It’s a

Amanda Doyle: perfect segue. It is talking about the discovery of fun. And what are we talking about?

Glennon Doyle: Girls wanting the funnest fun that ever fun, the girls, which we had this weekend, [00:07:00] girls had fun. Just let’s hear from Molly and then we’ll tell you all pod squad about. The most amazing weekend we’ve had. Buckle up, folks.

What we in the

Amanda Doyle: art world call the most amazing weekend. Yes,

Glennon Doyle: that’s right. Hi Glennon and Abby and sister. This is Molly from North Carolina.

Abby Wambach: I

Glennon Doyle: am not in North Carolina at the moment, though. I am at Brandy’s Girls Just Want a Weekend.

Amanda Doyle: And

Glennon Doyle: so

are y’all. Um, and the question I had After

Glennon Doyle: seeing [00:07:30] are you with the panel Glennon and having you talk about how you’ve been addicted to depriving yourself of things and this festival is just

the opposite of that and seeing

Glennon Doyle: yours and Abby’s

joy and

Glennon Doyle: singing closer to fine and you bogging right across

that stage.

Just how do we create more spaces like this where we can. Have so much fun and be together and just have it be, I don’t know, the

Abby Wambach: opposite

of depriving ourselves of things. [00:08:00] Thanks for sharing your

Abby Wambach: joy and

loved Tish’s performance too. Bye. Hmm.

Abby Wambach: That’s

Amanda Doyle: good. What does Molly speak of? Tell us.

Glennon Doyle: Tell the people.

Okay. So girls just want a weekend. How do we even begin to describe this? Okay. Brandi Carlile and Catherine Carlile. Mm hmm. began this festival. It’s a festival. It is. It’s a festival. It is. They do a couple of different ones, [00:08:30] but this one’s called girls just want a weekend and it’s always in Mexico. And basically it is, this was the fifth one.

The fifth one. Yeah. This is the first one we’ve gotten to. And we went because Tish was invited to perform because Tish is. Working with Brandy, Tish is releasing an EP called When We’re Older in March and she’s been working with Brandy. Brandy’s her mentor. It’s just a really incredible situation. Yeah.

March 1st. Download it, please. Right. [00:09:00] So. Stream it. Brandy is like Tish’s other mom now. Brandy and Kath, by the way. Tish has a lot of freaking moms. Okay? So this is like 5, 000 queer Women, really, is what it is.

Abby Wambach: Yeah, well, queer folks, I wouldn’t say women. Queer folks, right. Queer humans. Lots of trans and non binary folks

Amanda Doyle: also.

But not exclusively. It’s for queer

Glennon Doyle: minded people. Right, that’s good. Queer minded. Yeah, I like

Abby Wambach: it. There were some straight families there.

Amanda Doyle: There were. Yeah. There were. I mean, my husband was up in there [00:09:30] and he was loving it. There’s a bunch of straight folks too, but everyone is queer minded, I would say.

Glennon Doyle: Right. So it’s an entire weekend where everybody in this one place is there because of Brandy and Kath and the vibe of this place, which is just pure love and inclusion and acceptance and celebration and music and freedom and I don’t know how to describe it. It

Abby Wambach: feels like Brené and Katherine, they [00:10:00] probably went to and participated in the Lille Affair in the 90s.

And I believe that this Girls Just Want a Weekend is a new festival idea born out of the desire to create those same spaces that Sarah McLachlan made for women in the late 90s with Lille Affair. To me, it feels like this little Bubble that you can opt into. And it’s just a bubble of acceptance. You come as you are and you [00:10:30] can be whoever and express yourself in whatever way you feel necessary and you will be celebrated.

Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been to an environment and experienced something like that.

Glennon Doyle: The origin of it is Brandy and Catherine’s. I mean, just almost reckless generosity. Oh, that’s funny. Yeah, it’s just they are like, uh, conductors [00:11:00] of the experience. They’re like conducting and bringing people in.

Like, there are. 15 musicians that are on all the stages at different times and they are all handpicked by Brandi and Kath and they are invited to do whatever they want to do that is the most celebratory of their moment and they, everybody’s on stage together and it feels like this thing that everything could go wrong at any second because it feels like chaos, but it is actually Organized.

[00:11:30] Magical. Yeah. Brandy just believes in every single person so much that she gives them absolute honor and freedom. And then everybody just becomes their most magical self because of that. Yeah. So people like Solis was there. I mean, Solis, I had my

Abby Wambach: first Hi, Solis. We talked and you are an avid listener of this podcast and we want to have you on.

So we love you so much and you’re the best. I

Glennon Doyle: mean, I just watched [00:12:00] Solis with my jaw on the ground. Like Solis should be the most famous musician in the world. Solis is doing something that is beyond. What I’ve seen before. I don’t know. Everyone just needs to go see Solis somewhere after Solis leaves. I’m crying because I’m just keep crying real tears, real tears, not even fake crying.

Then [00:12:30] Janelle Monae comes on the stage. I don’t know. Is Janelle Monae a human being? I’m not sure of it. I

Abby Wambach: don’t think so. Yeah, it feels like they’re from a different planet. They’re so special.

Glennon Doyle: Just this, I don’t know, I don’t think we could even just call it a musical experience. It was theatrics, it was fashion, it was love, it was queerness, it was feminism, it was

Abby Wambach: [00:13:00] Janelle Monáe kept my wife Glennon up until two o’clock in the morning.

Amanda Doyle: That’s never been done before. No. Without

Abby Wambach: drugs. Like, okay, so I was, I was checking in with Glennon at nine and at ten and Janelle goes on at ten o’clock. And I was like, honey, like we have a shuttle to go back to the room if you want to get on 1015. She said, yeah, I just want to see a little bit of Janelle and I go to see her.

And I am spent. We’ve been outside all day. My body needs to go. I’m shutting it down. So I’m like, honey, like, [00:13:30] you know, the shuttle’s here. She said, I’m going to stay. Glennon and I are in bed every single night at eight or eight 30 at the latest. And we are, our eyes are closed and we were sleeping at nine, nine 30.

At the latest,

Glennon Doyle: Tig Notaro texted us when it was four 30 and her first, it just said, I’m sorry to wake you guys up, but I have a question.

Abby Wambach: Go ahead. Yeah. And so she just said, no, I’m going to stay. And our kids wanted to stay because they’re huge, you know, [00:14:00] Mino fans. So I’m like, are you guys going to be able to get home?

Like I don’t know how you’re going to get home. I’m going to sleep. Good luck. And they stayed until 1130 or 12 o’clock. And then you couldn’t find your rides home until one.

Glennon Doyle: Oh no, I was so lost. I was so lost. It was awful. Like the afterwards was awful, but it was worth it because Janelle Monae is doing something that no one’s doing.

Like Janelle Monae is like, you know, Prince or like Jimi Hendrix [00:14:30] or like just doing something totally brand new. Yeah. And it is just one of the most powerful things and most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. And the Celeste Janelle one, two punch just had me. Out, laid out.

Amanda Doyle: I’ll tell you what Katie Tunstall, her energy is so outrageous.

It’s how I thought in high school that if I ever met Matt Damon, he would want to marry me. I was like, Katie and I would [00:15:00] be such

Glennon Doyle: good friends. Well, I believe that. I hundred percent believe that you have similar energy. She was ridiculous and so silly and she was giggling and she was brilliant. And

Amanda Doyle: I was like, I, I love.

Love her. Everyone was perfect. And it just the joy infusion everywhere for everyone there and all of the people, everyone that you talked to was like, this is my favorite weekend of the year. What is [00:15:30] that? It’s like the performers are so amazing, but something was happening for every person there. Yeah, that was unique to that weekend.

If you can get to that show, get to it. But what are the elements of that place that people can, like Molly saying, how do we create more of that in our lives? Like what were the elements that you can like reconstruct to make happen in your

Abby Wambach: life? Okay. We flew in on Thursday and Tish performed on Friday and I saw.

a friend who’s a trans [00:16:00] man. And we were having this conversation about the environment and how amazing it is to feel like you’re not going to get any weird looks or weird comments, or you’re not considering if I hold my wife’s hand here. It won’t be seen. It’s not like a revolution. It’s you are now in a majority.

And so like being in an environment where you feel like you are a part of this majority feels like it’s [00:16:30] altering for me. It’s like, Oh, this is hope for our future, like kind of creating more of the spaces as we go on in our humanity. But like specifically walking into a bathroom and having 10 out of 20 people in line be butch lesbians and that there’s no, I’m like yelling right now because it’s so important to me to literally walk into a bathroom and to not feel stress to be in, in a [00:17:00] majority.

So I felt like I was going to have people on, on my side if there were any weird looks, which of course there weren’t. And then even in the airport, the airport was like packed with all of these folks that were at the festival. And I don’t know, it’s just like, Safety is a word, but hopeful.

Amanda Doyle: Is it the absence of the alternate gaze?

Is it like when [00:17:30] you’re in a place like that, there is no patriarchal gaze to navigate. It’s like you’re, the reality is just this. You’re not, Oh, are we going to have to deal with that? We’re being too much. And we’re going to get some looks because we’re being too much or we’re dressed crazy and people are going to have feelings about that.

That you’re, you’re always trying to navigate yourself versus the gaze coming at you. And there isn’t, [00:18:00] the gaze didn’t exist. There’s something about that. the gaze gaze in that. The

Glennon Doyle: gaze are going to gaze. Yeah. It’s the magic of centering. That’s all it is. The magic of being the center, being the gaze.

You’re suddenly having, I think it’s not having the double consciousness. It’s like you can actually be present, fully present because you are not split, which is why every [00:18:30] marginalized group has to have space until the world is different. Has to have space where they are centered, where they are only worried about their own gaze because it’s the only time where you don’t have to be split in terms of, am I safe?

What are they thinking? What do I look like? And that is such a gift for people. I found

Abby Wambach: this thing happening when I would see like a straight family, like a straight couple with some kids, I’d walk up to them. I’m like, Wow.[00:19:00]

This is amazing. And they’re like, we love Brandy so much. And oftentimes it was the wife’s, you know, Brandy is her favorite artist. And the husband comes and the husband is like decked out in all of his gear. And the kids are like, I don’t know. It just feels like a glimpse into a possible future. Yeah. A dream.

Yeah. Right.[00:19:30]

Glennon Doyle: So let’s take them through y’all. Tish is performing. Okay. We’re at a pool. It’s a huge pool and there’s a stage in front of the pool and there are, what do you think? A couple thousand people just smushed into the pool together waiting for Tish to perform. You can’t see

Amanda Doyle: water. It’s just. [00:20:00] Thousands of people in the pool, in inner tubes, looking at the stage.

That in itself was wild. Well, and

Abby Wambach: to be clear, there’s two different stages. There’s like a main stage and then also a pool stage. So, Tish was playing on the pool stage. And later at night, there’s a main stage stuff that Tish also performed on. So,

Glennon Doyle: yeah. So Tish plays her set. Okay. She plays Michelle. She plays the chase.

She plays Damage. Sober. Yeah. Which nobody’s heard [00:20:30] sober yet, but Damage came out that day that we were there. And then Tish and Brandy’s up there with her singing because they’ve produced these songs together and they’re just unbelievable when they sing together, it’s just. Yeah. Deadly. Listen

Abby Wambach: to the tracks, especially come March 1st when Tish’s EP drops, listen to the background vocals.

Oh my God. It’s Brandi

Glennon Doyle: Carlile, y’all. Yeah. It’s crazy. So. What? Tish goes, all right, I want to do something. She’s on stage. She’s like, I [00:21:00] want to sing a song that I never sing. I have a feeling that it’s a song that all y’all. Are going to want to hear and she looks out and when she’s looking at what, like 2000, 40 to 50 year old lesbians.

So she knows that these is my mom’s demo. Okay. I am in my mom’s place now. And she says, I don’t play this song. Often because I wrote it when I was much younger. When she was in eighth grade, she said. Yeah. [00:21:30] And now I feel so different as a musician and I don’t feel like it reflects who I am now. So I don’t play it, but I want to play it for you all today.

So my sister, Amanda, Abby, and I are sitting by the pool. Craig is there. You guys, our whole family was there. Emma, Chase was there. It was his 21st birthday that day. Bobby and Alice, John, everybody was there. And so she starts singing. I walked through fire, I came out the other side. She starts singing the We Can [00:22:00] Do Hard Things song.

Okay. Brandi’s singing, Tisha’s singing, y’all, 2, 000 people in the pool start singing We Can Do Hard Things and they know every word.

Abby Wambach: Word. Yeah, that was so magic

Glennon Doyle: sister and I and Abby are just holding on to each other Yeah, watching Tish and Brandy sing to these people who are all our people pod squad people Singing back to [00:22:30] us singing this we can do hard things song that our daughter has written from us Our work, like it just talk about a slice of heaven for us on earth.

It was, it was incredible. We can do hard things, all of them singing, Oh my God. It was so beautiful.

Amanda Doyle: That was as close to magic as you can get right

Abby Wambach: there. Yeah. And to be clear, Tish wrote that song with the [00:23:00] voice of you, right? So it wasn’t something that she, the lyrics, of course, I’m sure she feels them on some level, but she doesn’t feel like.

A real ownership over that song. So she feels a little bit like a fraud when she plays it because it’s not like really her stuff. It’s Glennon stuff. It’s like a

Amanda Doyle: cover of

Glennon Doyle: Glennon. Exactly. It feels like it’s a cover. Yeah. And

Abby Wambach: so it was so touching to me that she did this, it felt like a gift that she was giving Glennon and me and you sister.

And [00:23:30] honestly, it was so fun because. Not many people yet know all the lyrics to all of Tisha’s songs that she’s released. She’s obviously still a very new musician, and so for her to choose to do this was also a gift to the audience because they could be in participation and for them to be singing out, like, it was just, I know that this feels like so not a big deal, maybe to a listener, but it was a big deal to our family.

Yeah,

Glennon Doyle: yeah, yeah, it was. [00:24:00] And then, so after that. We went to this panel. If you want to know what this, uh, festival is like and the caliber of people who go to this festival in the middle of the resort day where people are just doing music and having beautiful times with their families, we did a racial justice panel with, we’re talking about black women and white women.

It was Alison Russell, the incredible people. Angel on Earth, Alison Russell, um, and Sise was on the [00:24:30] panel and Annie Lennox and me. So it was just like really just four musical legends and . Um, four and Len’s, not a musical legend. Probably 3000 people came to it. Yeah, there was a lot of people stop their day to come to a racial justice panel and sat in the swell twin heat and we had a freaking beautiful conversation.

So that’s the panel to which Molly was referring to in the beginning. Yeah, and it was incredible.

Abby Wambach: And, you know, just for people who might not [00:25:00] be huge into the music scene, I wouldn’t consider myself somebody who’s huge into the music scene. It’s so fun to, like, learn about musicians and also they have tons of other artists out there.

Activities that are happening throughout the day. They have meditation. They have yoga. They have like learning how to song, right? Learning soccer, basketball. There’s all these events that they schedule into these four

Amanda Doyle: days. They have 12 step meetings. They have brandy. Yoki karaoke. They have lip sync contest.

Yeah, [00:25:30]

Abby Wambach: there’s just a lot of things happening that you can participate in or, or, you know, obviously

Glennon Doyle: opt out. But what you need to know pod squatters is that the weekend culminates. And what is called ladies of the eighties. Okay. And so what this is, is the last night of the festival and each performer throughout the weekend chooses an 80 song to perform with Brandy’s band, with the twins, with the whole band, [00:26:00] which is just Matt Chamberlain is the, he’s like the best drummer in the world.

And he’s. back there and Phil and Tim are play all the sister strings who are just these incredible musicians who, by the way, didn’t even know they have like the best voices in the world. Also they, they performed everybody picks a song. Okay. So Tish. Performed heaven is a place on earth. Obviously.

Except it sounded good. And so, [00:26:30] and we are all like that just did. It sounded good. Right. So a few days before we’re on the phone with Brandy talking about something else and Brandy just says, also, will you and Abby perform closer to fine with me and Catherine on stage? And I’m like, obviously that’s a hell.

Yes. I actually forgot to tell Abby about it. Yeah. Okay. Which was my bad.

Amanda Doyle: Yeah.

Abby Wambach: She says to me the day of, Oh, you know that we’re doing closer to fine tonight. And I was like, what are you talking about? [00:27:00] She’s like, it’s later. This is the eighties. We’re all dressed up. And I was like, well, I don’t have, I don’t have an outfit.

Glennon Doyle: I brought five tutus.

Abby Wambach: I don’t have an outfit. She’s like, I’m so sorry. I forgot to tell you we’re doing this. And I was like, okay. So I had to like make shift. a silly funny thing in my outfit. Which

Glennon Doyle: was amazing because Abby had on just pants and a t shirt and then she had a sign on herself that she safety pinned on herself that said, I’m a lesbian.

I’ve been dressing like this [00:27:30] since the eighties, which was a huge hit. It

Abby Wambach: was a huge hit. Yes,

Glennon Doyle: I had a great time because I peaked in the 80s, so I knew exactly what to do. I had a big black tutu, I had my rainbow leg warmers, I had four inch heels with spikes on them. I had a huge Brett Michaels like. wig.

You were crushing it. Thank you. But not as much as who?

Abby Wambach: Sister did it better. [00:28:00] Sister won the day. Okay. She Pat Benatar’d herself. Oh my God. More than Pat Benatar could.

Glennon Doyle: Pod squad, don’t worry. We will put. Um, pictures of this for you to see. She had a black spiky wig on. She had a leotard with her sparkly hose underneath.

I say to her, I see this outfit laid up on the bed. I look at the outfit. I say to her, I have one question and I’m really hoping for a specific answer. My question is this, where are your pants?[00:28:30]

No pants, and I say that is the answer I was hoping for so no pants

Amanda Doyle: I will also say that I found out about the 80s Costume the day before we were leaving that we’re supposed to have costumes But don’t worry because in the 37 bins that I have in my attic I was able to find all of those items That I was wearing during [00:29:00] that time.

Vindicated. So I know that it’s a bit much to have 87 bins in your attic, but lo and behold, sometimes it pays off. That’s

Glennon Doyle: right. That’s right. So here’s what happened, y’all. Okay. The performances are so amazing. Annie Lennox kicks it off with Sweet Dreams. Brandy is up there just decked out, bright red hair, Eurythmics outfit.

Everybody is decked out. All the songs just start coming. They’re all incredible. We get a text. It’s time for you to get up to stage. [00:29:30] Tish, Abby, and I are all in the holding area. It’s about to be our time. Okay. Abby and I are about to go on stage. Cause Tish

is after

Abby Wambach: us. To sing closer to fine, The Indigo Girls.

Glennon Doyle: And there’s like 5, 000 people. And by the way, everybody, PodSquad, this is my first time back on any stage for over a year. I haven’t set my little feet on a stage because I promised myself I would not do that during recovery. I would only focus on [00:30:00] what I’m looking at not being looked at. Okay. So I was feeling a little bit nervous.

I remember saying to you, what am I supposed to do? What, how am I supposed to do with my hands? I figured out right beforehand that we were not lip syncing, that Brandy actually expected us to sing words out loud. Well, that

Abby Wambach: was your choice. I lip sync the whole thing. I was not singing into a microphone. I knew that.

I was like, Oh yeah, no, I’m just going to, I’m going to hype man it up. That’s right. And that’s what I

Glennon Doyle: did. So the next thing we know, Kath is standing by us. [00:30:30] It’s our turn to go out. We go out on stage. The crowd is. freaking amazing, closer to fine starts. And really, I don’t know what to say other than just all of my dreams came true.

Your

Abby Wambach: body knew the rock star in you came alive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everything but your voice. No offense. Right. But like you. are in body and in spirit, I think that you [00:31:00] are a rock

Glennon Doyle: star. It’s kind of cruel to give me that dream, but then to not give me the tools, which I need to become

Abby Wambach: one. So like at first Glenn and I were kind of dancing around doing this fun things.

I did a little lift with her. And then eventually Catherine and Brandy realized that we, in fact, weren’t really singing in the microphones. And so Brandy They were

Amanda Doyle: like, shit, we have to

Abby Wambach: sing, like, a lot. And so Brandy, of course, she was carrying the song, which She should. Yeah, exactly. Right. She kind [00:31:30] of like tells Glennon, sing in your microphone,

Glennon Doyle: Glennon.

And then she stopped singing. Yeah. So it’s just me. So then I sing words and then I have,

Amanda Doyle: and it like back.

Glennon Doyle: It’s like,

Amanda Doyle: it’s scared me. She goes. Oh my God. I can hear myself. She said to the whole crowd. I said, I

Abby Wambach: can hear myself. Like it was, she, it was like the first time she’s ever used a microphone. Well, like God was like, at first there was some feedback.

[00:32:00] Cause it was like, and then God was like trying to tell her, no, no, stop singing.

Amanda Doyle: Just keep dancing.

Glennon Doyle: That was enough. Yeah. It was so fun. It was so fun. And so wonderful. Did you think that it was good when you were watching it? I was. She’s like,

Amanda Doyle: I can’t say it was good. A gape. A gape. A gape. Okay. I was standing there with Emma and Bobby and Alice just watching y’all like Oh, [00:32:30] oh my God.

You were just so full of joy and just abandoned. Yeah.

Glennon Doyle: Abandoned. Abandoned. Yes. Then.

Amanda Doyle: But not as much as the following song. Okay.

Abby Wambach: Well, the following song was Trish. Which

Amanda Doyle: that one really. She took it right to the next level. Tish

Abby Wambach: went on stage and we sat offstage watching Tish for the next song.

Glennon Doyle: Yes, she was amazing.

She sang Heaven on Earth with Brandy and they [00:33:00] were so beautiful. And Tish looked like a little rainbow bright on stage. Although she didn’t know what a Rainbow Brite was, so Brandy had to explain to her what a Rainbow Brite was. And then they sang together and it was tear inducing gorgeousness. It

Abby Wambach: was so amazing.

And then Tish comes off stage and I’m like, all right, I’ll take

Glennon Doyle: you down. So then it’s time for us to leave stage, you guys. And this suddenly feels unacceptable to me.

Amanda Doyle: You’re like, I have just started to live my lifelong dream.

Glennon Doyle: So [00:33:30] this is why it became doubly unacceptable to me, which I feel like a lot. of my friends will understand.

Sista Strings walks out on stage, and then the first few notes Of salt and pepper,

Abby Wambach: boom

Glennon Doyle: and baby. And I say, oh hell no. I am not leaving [00:34:00] Uhhuh. I am going back. I cannot, my body can’t leave. My body cannot leave this stage. Next thing I know Gina Han. I’m sitting with. I’m standing with Gina Garan. She goes, she’s Tina Turner doubt. Okay. She’s got this wig on. She’s just performed. She’s 80s doubt.

She is also not ready to leave the stage. I could see it in her eyes. She wants to be out there. She goes, let’s

Amanda Doyle: just go.

Glennon Doyle: Let’s just go. I said out there. We’re gonna go out there. I say yes, let’s do it. Let’s just do it. The next thing I know, [00:34:30] pod squad, I don’t I don’t know what to say to you about what happened next.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, you guys, what you’ll understand is sister and Abby look both a little sad right now because what, what I did on stage, I think that there’s a difference between the way I experienced it and the way other people experience it. Okay. I danced with my whole soul. Yeah. And what I want you to know [00:35:00] is that from my mind when I was on stage, I would have bet every.

Penny, that everyone in the audience was having a communal revelation thinking, Oh my God, Glennon is the best dancer we’ve ever

Abby Wambach: seen. Yeah. That’s how you thought it looked. It looked like

Amanda Doyle: you thought that out there. It looks like you thought that for sure. It did. It did look like you thought that. Yeah. I was, [00:35:30] you were unapologetic.

Okay. Hold on. I

Abby Wambach: was twerking. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Can you define twerking? The problem is you not, you don’t even know what you were doing, . It was not, you

Amanda Doyle: were gyrating. Yeah. Okay, okay. You were, you were, it was repeated and, and enthusiastic. Pelvic thrusting. Yeah, that right. Just nonstop. Like

Glennon Doyle: a sledgehammer

Amanda Doyle: across

Abby Wambach: [00:36:00] the stage.

Brandy told you and Gina to stay over here by the backup singers and dance over here. We

Glennon Doyle: couldn’t. We thought maybe that was a mistake. We thought maybe Brandy just didn’t know what we had in

Abby Wambach: store. What you could accomplish. Why would anyone want us to stay on the

Glennon Doyle: wings? Alright, so we did not listen to that.

She

Amanda Doyle: was laughing. She was laughing during the song. Who was? Brandy was. Brandy. She was? Yeah. Oh my

Glennon Doyle: god. I seriously should probably apologize.

Abby Wambach: [00:36:30] Anyway. So I’m walking Tish out to the rest of the family out in the crowd. Right. While you’re starting the escapade of Not

Glennon Doyle: working. Right. The gyrating, the confident gyrating.

Yeah.

Abby Wambach: But then when you get off, I actually, I realized she’s going to stay out there if I don’t

Amanda Doyle: go better.

Abby Wambach: So I’m going to go get you. I got dragged off stage. I was like, honey, we just got to go with our family. And you were like, Oh man. But, but, [00:37:00] but, but here we go, it looked like somebody doused her with a whole gallon of water.

She had so much sweat on her body

Amanda Doyle: and her Those pelvises don’t thrust themselves, Abby!

Glennon Doyle: Don’t! Bobby, my little nephew, who I love with my whole heart, Ammo said that Bobby came up to her after Push it. Concerned. With a very concerned look on his face and said, [00:37:30] do you think that DeeDee got a little bit out of control up there?

I’m DeeDee. I’m Anne DeeDee. And he was really concerned that I had taken it too far, that I had embarrassed the family beyond what we were going to recover from.

Amanda Doyle: Well, he’s never seen you out of control. Right. He’s never seen you, honestly, that was as close. As surprised right about you that [00:38:00] I’ve ever been watching you do that.

Like I was like, I am surprised and I’ve never been surprised by you. So I have it. He was, he was surprised.

Abby Wambach: I mean, he might’ve been a little traumatized if we’re going to use the correct terminology. He was

Glennon Doyle: a little traumatized. And then Emma goes, mom, mama, mama, afterwards. Do you think? That they’re going to worry about your sobriety.

My daughter said to me.

Abby Wambach: Because nobody in their sober state, no, this [00:38:30] is how, like. I can imagine a child looking at this. Nobody would think that she was sober. Nobody, nobody here thinks that my mom could be sober and she lives a sober life. And all these people think she’s fallen off the wagon, but no folks, we are here to assure you.

Glennon was sober. And she finally, and I think that this is a huge success, finally let go and [00:39:00] surrendered to an out of controllness of embodiment, like you were completely in

Glennon Doyle: your body. That’s exactly right. And nobody said What I realized is that nobody promised it’s going to be pretty when you reach full embodiment.

Okay? It doesn’t, apparently, it doesn’t have to be pretty, but it doesn’t matter. I know. You guys. It doesn’t matter. I mean, coming full circle, like what is it about that space, Brandy and [00:39:30] Cath? Yeah. It’s like, I remember Brandy’s face going, okay, Glennon, this is what she does with everybody. She believes in somebody.

Okay. And then she brings them into a big situation and then she says, go do your thing. And you feel so fucking loved and so honored and so safe and you believe in yourself because Brandy believes in you. I mean, she probably doesn’t anymore, but she did once, but she always does

[00:40:00] one. I

Abby Wambach: think that that’s one of the things that I. I find so fascinating about Brandy and Catherine. They have the utmost faith that whatever is supposed to happen will happen. And that is why they feel like they can get a hundred people on a stage in a night. And no [00:40:30] matter how it looks or turns out, it is exactly what should be happening.

And that kind of faith is in the people. It’s not the product. It’s like believing in the people. And I think that that’s what makes them so special is. Of course, so many of the people there, they’re extraordinary musicians. And what, I mean, obviously we aren’t, but it’s not about the music specifically, it’s about the creation of something unique and different and [00:41:00] everybody’s sets and everybody’s moments.

It’s like writing in the sand. I mean, Brandy talked about that. This thing is only going to happen this one time. Yeah. And so be here and be present and open yourself up to this one experience that will never be created again. Cause even next year’s festival is going to be different in some way.

There’ll be different people there. And there’s a letting go and a surrendering to it all that I just find stunning. I feel like I’m learning a lot from Katherine and Brandy about that. [00:41:30]

Amanda Doyle: Yeah. It’s a complete loss of self consciousness. Yeah. Which is. Is like for me, the rarest thing on the planet to be so in a moment that you lose awareness of the way you’re being viewed and received.

That’s what happened to you on stage is that you were like, I’m just doing what feels and what I want, like with zero regard [00:42:00] for whatever I’m trying to project. And. That lack of self consciousness is the same thing we talked about in the beginning of like when you don’t have another gaze that you are calibrating, coming towards you, and you’re only worried about your gaze out, like how you feel and what you want, it’s a completely different experience than if you are [00:42:30] weighing the math of what I want within the formula of what the people looking at me want.

Yes. The outcome is always

Glennon Doyle: different. And I think that it, for me personally, with my journey lately, it’s a beautiful, I have to figure this out. I have to think about it more, but I think I just thought stage was a place I can’t be. That is too much, look at me, that is too much thinking about what other people are thinking.

It’s just, [00:43:00] I thought that’s the literal definition of it. Why would I want to be on a stage when I’m working on embodiment? Why was that the place that I felt the most embodied in the last Yeah, I want to keep thinking about it because

Abby Wambach: your perspective has

Amanda Doyle: shifted, honey. Yeah, but it’s not just

Glennon Doyle: any stage.

It’s a stage

Amanda Doyle: in that community of comfort with the faith of the person who invited you with no pretext, with no direction. with no agenda who said, just be [00:43:30] you and do what you want. You were in costume. So you were already out of character. You were able to be whatever the hell you wanted to be. You had gorgeous music.

That means a lot to you. You were with your wife. It’s like a perfect storm of those elements to be as free as you

Abby Wambach: can be. And an amazing environment to like learn that a that is possible on stage. And B, how can we try and recreate the feeling that you [00:44:00] had, the acceptance that you had to have with yourself to be able to go be completely yourself?

Glennon Doyle: Yeah. I mean, we talk all the time about how do we create. Families, friendships, environments where everyone feels held and free because we so often have to do one or the other, right? We can have community, we can be held, but there’s certain rules that we have to follow, certain ways we have to be. We are not free to like release our individual selves within that community because our belonging is [00:44:30] tied to.

toeing a line. Or we can have individuality. We can be weirdos. We can be misfits. We can be whatever. But that usually means we sacrifice the community, the belonging. And so Brandy and Kath have created this place where everybody has community and feels so held. And it’s almost a prerequisite of it to be weird, to bring your whatever weird means to you, to be fully Your [00:45:00] individual self too.

I mean, right before we went on stage, I said to you, I said to Abby, how do I crowd surf? I want to crowd. And Abby was like, here’s the thing. No, no. Well,

Abby Wambach: no. I mean, if you guys knew how much distance from the stage to the people, there was like a big gap, like a 20 foot gap between the stage and where people could catch her.

I’m like, that’s a no go. Like you, you wouldn’t ever make, I wouldn’t make it.

Glennon Doyle: But the point is, I wanted to crowd surf because I was like, I actually want to [00:45:30] be held by these people. I trust these people to pass my little self around. Like it is magic to feel complete. I mean, these people, we put our 17 year old daughter in front of these people and they’re like holding her.

I don’t know. I think that what I truly believe Based on all the people I’ve seen doing work out in the world that what Brandy Carlisle and Catherine, like the way they live their lives is [00:46:00] the most revolutionary way of life and community and celebration and inclusivity that I’ve ever seen.

Abby Wambach: It feels like they’re doing it in a way I feel super awed and inspired by.

Just knowing them and talking to them and, and then getting to experience the festival in real life felt like that was like, I understood them more because you could see not only that it has [00:46:30] taken five years to develop to what it was this year, but. You can see the tender love and care and those painstaking details that they have kind of curated.

Glennon Doyle: The work, the work. It looks so wild and wonderful and it is, but the amount of discipline and work that they put into making it that way, that thing between like making it happen and then letting it happen, like what they do, how they live their life to, you know, what they have is they have faith. They have faith in people.

They have faith in music. They have [00:47:00] faith in the moment. And whatever that is, is the opposite of control. Whatever happens there feels like the opposite of what I’m trying to get rid of in my life. It feels like trusting. Feels like trust.

Amanda Doyle: And there’s a lot of structure and control that goes into creating a container into which Everyone can let go of control.

And that container is the thing that I think folks can replicate, whether it’s at this festival or [00:47:30] something else. What I heard from so many people talking to them is like, this is the weekend that gets me through the year. This is the place that we all come and we recharge and we go back. And it’s like, folks need a container of time where they know I am saving that for me.

Yeah. That is my time with my friends. That is my time to show up for myself, to do the thing I need to do. And if we wait for [00:48:00] a container to be passed to us, it never will be. But if you mark it and you say every year at this time or every six months, I don’t even know what I’m going to fill this container with, but I’m marking it and holding it because I know that I need.

To fill it up with something, then that’s where the beauty comes from. But I think that’s what they’re creating a container for everyone to come and let whatever happened happen. Yeah. And I think people can do that [00:48:30] in their lives.

Abby Wambach: Yeah. I think it’s very rare. They’ve built a community that people trust and then they know, and it’s not like it’s going to be

Glennon Doyle: perfect.

I know. It’s so brave. That’s what freaks me out. I don’t even want to like, like if someone comes up and talks to me, I’m like, I’m scared. I’m requiring too much of them just for standing there for five minutes. I’m like, Oh God, how do I get us out of this? Sorry. I’m

Amanda Doyle: totally, I can’t host a dinner party because I’m like [00:49:00] how audacious it would be to suggest that the best thing you could do with tonight was to come to my house.

Is everyone having enough fun? Is it okay? And she’s like, can 5, 000 people. Travel to a different country and I swear to God they’re going to have a great time. She’s like, no problem. That’s audacious as hell.

Glennon Doyle: Yeah. Think about how many things go wrong. There has to be. I don’t know. I mean, I’m sure there’s a million things that go wrong.

I’m sure there’s people that aren’t happy. I’m sure whatever, like I’m sure there’s, and they just do it because they think it’s worth it. And so they take on [00:49:30] responsibility for all of those people’s experience. That

Abby Wambach: is what it is. Damn, that’s so good. So few people take on responsibility for other people’s experiences.

And I know it’s different for musicians, but that feels like, Oh, I don’t have to be responsible here. Somebody else has got this for us and it might not be perfect, but that’s not the expectation. Right.

Glennon Doyle: Perfection is not the expectation. It’s just

Abby Wambach: that you’re going to have an experience. Yeah.

Glennon Doyle: Yeah. We love you, Brandon, Kath.

We love all of you. [00:50:00] I just hope we can all find spaces or make spaces where we feel free.

Abby Wambach: Also, can I give myself a little shout out? Yes. Yes. Please. Okay. So on the last night, Tish’s management team had her QR code, like little business cards essentially made up for her. And she forgot to bring them to her pool stage set to pass out for people to download her new music or whatever.

And so on the very last night, we still had this huge stack of them to give out. And so I was like, Tish. [00:50:30] I’m going to go out there into the masses of folks, and I’m just going to start handing out your QR code to get people to download. So I just started walking around. I was just mama juring big time.

People kept coming up to me, asking me, Can I have a picture? And I was like, for sure, but you just got to take your phone out and I need to see you stream her song right now. I just totally, shamelessly was marketing for Tishy Bear. You’re

Glennon Doyle: such a good mama. [00:51:00] Abby is the new Kris Kardashian. Kris Jenner. But I think

Amanda Doyle: Jenner.

Same haircut. Didn’t

Glennon Doyle: she go back to Kardashian? Oh, I don’t know. We’re like the Kardashians, but we’re like the Kare dashians. Cause we deeply care. Oh, okay. It was beautiful. She was like, do you want to come around? We’ll just tell people we’re going to take pictures if they download Tisha’s song. And I would never do that.

Like, what if I walked up to someone was like, I’ll take a picture with you. And they were like, who the fuck are you? Why would I want a picture with you? No, that’s brave. That was so

Abby Wambach: brave. [00:51:30] I know. But to be clear, 95 percent of the people I saw new Tish and already had her downloaded. No, that’s amazing.

There were 5 percent people that were like, yeah. Oh, tish is yours. That was so cool. They didn’t even know that tish Melton was our kid, but they’ve

Glennon Doyle: been listening to her

Abby Wambach: music, but they like knew her and they knew the songs. It’s crazy. And that’s like,

Glennon Doyle: I can’t believe she gets to have this life. I can’t believe she gets to be part of like Brandy’s family and be part of this traveling situation.

And it’s just, okay. All [00:52:00] right. We’re going to stop. Yep. We love you, Brandy. We love you, Kath. We love all of you that were there this weekend. Thank you for taking such good care of our family and maybe we could crowd surf next year and we can do hard things.

Amanda Doyle: We’ll see you next time. And if you have good ideas about how you create these spaces in your life, call us because people need this.

If you do this in your life in a different way, call us and tell us. How you do it and how you get your out of control Ness and how you get your [00:52:30] fun and your joy. The phone number is 747 200 5307. Call us and tell us how you get your out of control fun, how you fill yourself up. What’s your container?

Tell us all the things. And

Glennon Doyle: also, go stream Tish’s music. I don’t know how. Go to Best Buy and buy the CD or whatever.

Abby Wambach: No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no. She has no CDs out. Alright, well, whatever. Just go to any streaming service, one of your DSPs, whether it’s Spotify, Apple Music, or whatever, and click add so that she becomes part of your library [00:53:00] and then play her songs.

March 1st. What does DSP stand for? Those are all the streamers. It’s like the fancy way of saying

Amanda Doyle: that. Yeah, you really, you’ve been waiting this whole time

Glennon Doyle: to say DSP, haven’t you? Yeah, I’ve been waiting this whole time

Abby Wambach: to say Best Buy. You guys, I’ve learned a lot. Or Circuit City. I’ve learned a lot.

Circuit City, Best Buy. I don’t even

Amanda Doyle: Circuit City.

Glennon Doyle: I told you, I peaked in the 80s. Tower of Records. Okay. All right. Bye.

Bye.[00:53:30]