REAL love is not pink and fluffy and rose-y and butterflies. Real love is not shiny and whole and smiling serenely. Real love is not holding hands while running through fields of sunflowers or gazing over chardonnay while wearing sexy dresses and opening boxes of diamonds. It’s just not. That stuff is something else. That stuff is something that can be packaged and sold, which is why we see a lot of it this time of year.
Real love is tough as nails. Real love is busted up and scuffed and a little jagged and exhausted. Real love is losing your temper seven times and apologizing eight times. Real love is overwhelmed and exhausted and just DONE at the end of each day. Real love is ADHD and how are we going to make rent and hurt feelings and sucky report cards and cancer and Listen, babies– this is life, this is brutiful life — and there is still much beauty to be found. Let’s find it together. Real love is knowing that tears of exhaustion are not signs that you’re on the wrong track — tears of exhaustion are confirmation that you are pouring out every bit of your heart and soul and body and mind and energy in service to your people. And that means, perhaps, that you are on the right track. That you are living out a mission worthy of you. Tears of exhaustion are often a badge of honor.
Real love is a father who has served our country in the Air Force and is now battling an impossible prognosis — and a mother shouldering the sole burden of supporting her family and trying to create normalcy for her kids since his diagnosis. Real love is a grandma who spent her life serving suffering people as a nurse — a woman who isn’t afraid of dying, but worries most about making sure her family is okay after her passing.
On this Valentine’s Day, we want to tell you a love story. This love story is about warriors who spent their lives serving folks who could never pay them back — warriors who are now desperate to provide for the families they will leave behind, and to have peace during their precious time together. This is a story about how you stepped up to serve these warriors — because love is showing up in the hard, and carrying it together.
Meet April and her husband Nathan.
This past year, 31-year-old Nathan lost his father to cancer right before he was diagnosed with a cancer so rare it left his doctors with no standard protocol for treatment. He was told there was 0% cure rate and that the average length of survival is 16 months. Nathan has undergone over 722 hours of inpatient chemo and surgery to remove some of the tumors. April and Nathan have tried to retain normalcy for the kids’ sake. April is a pharmacy tech at a local CVS, but between hospital stays and appointments, she is unable to work much. Nathan served our country as a proud Airman of the United States Air Force for 13 years, and had to retire January 31st because of the cancer. Nathan is worried about how he will support his family.
April told us that she and Nathan have a small mound of debt to pay off, and their floors are so old it is making it difficult for Nathan to safely maneuver around their apartment. But every time she’d save a tiny bit of money to meet one of these goals, she had the nagging realization that they needed to enjoy this precious time with Nathan while he is still able and strong.
They have never had a real family vacation and that window is dwindling. It was their dream to take their kids to Disney World. A generous local fundraiser was done raising some of the funds, but they still needed more to make their dream come a reality.
You stepped in and decided that this should not be an EITHER/OR. This is AND/BOTH. You took care of the nagging debt to give April peace of mind that their family would not be burdened, you fixed their floors, AND you gave to fully fund their Disney vacation.
Meet Kris.
Kris was diagnosed with breast cancer 10 years ago, and this summer, she got the news that she now has metastatic breast cancer in her bones. She has completed radiation, but still faces a terminal diagnosis. Kris worked as a registered nurse, spending her life serving others.
This family has suffered so much – their youngest son Cooper passed away in 2010 suddenly to an undiagnosed heart issue at the age of 13, and their precious grandson Bennett recently had surgery for a large hole in his heart. Kris wrote to us that “I am not afraid of death but I HATE what they have to go through. It’s too much. So that brings us to here. I am unable to work. We moved in to a rental home with our now youngest son and grandson to help make ends meet, splitting the rent and even with that we are barely making it on one income. My husband badly needs knee surgery but has resisted getting it because he knows that if he misses work – we have no income at all. I feel like I’m whining but if you knew this guy that I have been married to for 32 years and raised 5 awesome kids with and 3 foster kids and now love on 3 beautiful grandchildren with, you would understand. He would walk through fire for us. And he works a super physical job in a steel mill. And he doesn’t complain about it, he worries about me. I come from a wonderful family that believes in pulling yourself up by your own boot straps, but what does one do when they are completely out of boot straps?”
Kris wants to make sure her family is taken care of. She wants her husband to have knee surgery to ensure his ability to retain his own job. Insurance would cover the knee surgery, but the family could not survive the loss of income for a few weeks of his recovery. So, you gave this family the breathing room they needed so that Kris’s husband could have his knee surgery. And you didn’t stop there. You paid the family’s rent for a year so that they can focus on catching up with their bills, and you paid Kris’s high health insurance deductible for the year so that she stopped resisting treatment due to fear it would set them behind financially. You gave Kris peace of mind that her family is being taken care of, so that she could continue to fight cancer. You allowed this woman to serve her family the way she has always done. Together Rising.
Love is the boss of us. We are our brothers and sisters keepers. Thank you for being love and light to the world. It is our honor to serve this brutiful world alongside you.
If you’d like to donate to the healing, uplifting work of Together Rising, please go to: https://togetherrising.org/give/.
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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51 Comments
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Surrounding you and your littles in love, light, and prayer.
Definitely a great reminder.
Good work Done
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Thank you so much for commenting, it is lovely and really makes my day!
Real love is a father who has served our country in the Air Force and is now battling an impossible prognosis — and a mother shouldering the sole burden of supporting her family and trying to create normalcy for her kids since his diagnosis. ,….Thank people like them
I think real love can’t buy even we have a lot money , but love is the thing that we can’t get it out of our head it’s still be forever with best memory !
Real love is not holding hands while running through fields of sunflowers or gazing over chardonnay while wearing sexy dresses and opening boxes of diamonds.
the mentally ill should really not be advising others on health or spiritual matters
Actually, someone that lives and breathes the TRUTH of her most inner thoughts and flaws is EXACTLY who should be advising others on health and spiritual matters. If you do not care to live honestly, messy and with love, you my love are on the wrong website. Please try for one moment to find your truth and happiness and then spread those kind words, instead of trying to hurt others. I believe in you.
Light and Love,
Jess the Mess
We could certainly all learn from this show of unconditional love. Great post!
Jesus Pete. Thank you. For everything you do. Thank you.
This is true love! Love this reminder of the true meaning of love! Thank you G!
This is the Holy Grail of what love is
I just finished reading Love Warrior. I picked it up thinking it was “just a memoir”. Not so much really! After spending some time scrolling in Momastery and reading some of the comments, it occurred to me that this is the best and the worst of life. Life is but a breath, and we should do the best we can while we are here. Ultimately, we are going to have to stand before God and be held accountable for each word and deed. That will be the best and worst for death. The least we can do is help each other along while we are here.
Uma verdadeira lição de vida. ótimo post.
the mentally ill should really not be advising others on health or spiritual matters
but mentally stable people read and post negative comments on such blogs?
Mr don juan,
unless you are a trained and experienced mental health professional, as I have been for the past 17 years, you ought not pass judgement on the capabilities of those with what are now referred to as behavioral health diagnoses
Don: 1) Can you cite where medical advice was issued in the cases above? Unless I am misreading, you are commenting on the 02/14/17 post. Donate or don’t donate is the premise, not medical advice (which, by the way, I am 100% certain is the last thing terminally ill people want). 2) Are you referring to the author of the page in general? If so what is wrong with citing a basic concept (baptist, catholic, christian, buddhist and even atheist and agnostic) that we should look out for people other than ourselves? Additionally, Glennon is in the BEST position to give spiritual advice! Every spiritual advisor has struggled in one way or another, her struggle is a chemical imbalance/mental illness, how exactly is that different? If this is such a hurdle for you, she also has Lyme Disease…is that a game changer for you? Want to help now? 3) YOUR health or spiritual advisor may be mentally ill…..read that again, sit with it and contemplate and 4) I am going to take a moment to sincerely pray you never experience a hidden illness (mental health, dementia, etc.) that diminishes not only your mind, body and soul but also subjects you to individuals who question your credibility.
Dear Don! I challenge you to put your thoughts and money where you can help- You’ll get a very warm feeling from donating to help Samir through this site.
Love, Susan
As you can tell these are all women responding to Don juan, no doubt whose hen-pecked husbands have no say in anything. Perhaps, they should look at GDM’s whole life to understand the scope of this comment.
Seems like the responders here are Glennon’s fans, and thus, pretty clear on her story.
Your book, Love Warrior, is our reading selection for the month of February, can’t wait for the discussion to follow!!! I am now following you on FB and just signed up for your news letter. Love on.
I just looked you up and am very touched by your blog. Love is Love. We can not do enough for the people who have protected our country in the armed forces. I will keep reading . Thanks, Caralene
Glennon,
Friend, I have no problem with another person deciding for themselves that they are going to embrace a particular worldview; after all, the world is full of many, many different worldly perspectives on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness! Albeit, what I DO have a rather significant grievance with is with someone who supposedly holds the Christian worldview and simultaneously both denying what God’s word says to be so and then openly declaring certain things in God’s to be so when in fact, they are anything but.
Now, the real challenge for me, as a Christian, is to offer gentle rebuke without coming off sounding like a total prick. However, whenever a person’s heart desires something that has been labeled ‘off limits’ to them, straight-away they begin to desire that which has been deemed to be be forbidden.
This is human nature…
That being sad, I simply would like to ask you this: have you ever once read the entire book of Leviticus is its own proper historical context or, are you, like so many, many others past, present, and future, simply content by cherry-picking the verses that you only desire to be spoken of and acknowledged, instead?
I sincerely am looking forward to your own response, thank you, kindly.
-Jesse
Dear Jesse, I can tell you have a kind heart and are a true Christian, so I have to ask you something I’ve always wanted to know–have you read the entire book of Leviticus and do you follow all the instructions God gave the Israelites in that book? Do you wear clothing of mixed fibers, do you keep kosher, do you sacrifice a young bull or a ram when you have sinned? Do you go to a priest when you have a rash or a sore on your skin? Do you consider women to be unclean when having their period? Do you eat the fruit of a tree before it is five years old? Do you keep the 7th day Sabbath and do you follow all the festivals outlined in Leviticus.
Leviticus mentions men with men twice, but it doesn’t even mention women with women. Other requirements are even more strict and some are punishable by death. There are 27 chapters in Leviticus and homosexuality is mentioned in two of those chapters. There’s not even a punishment prescribed for homosexuality.
How do Christians who don’t follow all the other rules of Leviticus justify that but cling to the belief that homosexuality is a sin? I honestly want to know the answer.
Thank you,
Lana
Whoever you are, Lana, you are my favorite person today. #LoveIsLoveIsLove
The birth, death, & resurrection of Christ fulled Old Testament laws..–“”Don’t misunderstand why I have come. I did not come to abolish the law of Moses or the writings of the prophets. No, I came to accomplish their purpose”” — Christ set a new law which is written in the New Testament. That is why most worthy christians do not follow strictly rules set apart during Moses’ time.
That’s exactly the right response to the question. Thanks Kenny.
From Romans 1, New Testament (NLT version):
“Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools.”
Much in the way that Glennon refers to God as “she”. What a foolish idea when the Holy Trinity is The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit.
——-
“They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.”
Romans 1:21-22, 25-27 NLT
Yes, we are all sinners, but you’re kidding yourself if you think homosexuality isn’t a sin. Trading the truth about God for a lie… ironic, coming from a self-professed Truth-teller.
Hi, My name is Dr. Leslie Whited, and yes, background in Hebrew and Greek, taught in reputable seminaries; continuing education. I want to say that your work Glennon Doyle Melton is so beautiful. And truly sees deeply into scripture. Just keep on learning and speaking your voice, sister!
This is wonderful!
Because of you , I have found many ways to give and to love, to seek out those in need. Thank you for connecting us all- for being a hub for fierce love–what so many of us have been wanting without even fully knowing.
Thank you for detailing the kind love I believe in but could not articulate for myself or have validated by my family of origin. They are black on the inside and try hard to appear pink and shiny and fluffy on the outside. It is not the kind of love I can do.
Jesus Pete. Thank you. For everything you do. Thank you. (Daniel Tiger reference, in case you missed it.) you’re an inspiring lady.
This is true love! Thank you, G, for that reminder!
Yes!!! Oh my God!!!!!! Yes!!!!! This is why I am here with all of you!!! We are the light we need in this world!!!! We are the love we so desperately need!!!!
Just reposted. And donated. How can you not help support this kind of love? THIS is what I want. REAL, TOUGH. LOVE. Thanks for bringing it all back, G.
oh, this just made me sob. Love is so strong and so big and so fierce. That is how it can stand to be tender and gentle when we are all heartbroken. thank you for helping us to do this work, G.
April is one of my best friends! My husband worked with hers back in their earlier Air Force days. I can’t thank you all enough for blessing this family! This is just a small snippet of what they have been through over the last year! My heart is so full seeing this amazing family on my all time favorite page! P.S. I told April that if she ever gets to meet you, Glennon, I am going. I will be holding her to that! 😉 Thank you all again from the bottom of my heart!!!
LOVE WINS!!!
Love is getting up every day and loving my little boy gently as he kicks, hits, bites and head buts me during his tough moments. It’s protecting his sister from his episodes and it’s reading every book I can get my hands on about special kids (spirited/high needs/over emotional/highly sensitive) and fighting for him tooth and nail against his father (my ex) who is in denial, fighting for the services he needs. Put that on a card, hallmark! Thanks G for this reminder!
Yes yes yes. I’m right there with you. You’re doing it. Sending you so much love.
Wow, that is love, you are amazing.
Warrior on, mama! We got your back. Surrounding you and your littles in love, light, and prayer.
Love this reminder of the true meaning of love! I need that picture – Love is not pink and fluffy. It’s hard as nails. Thanks G!
Definitely a great reminder.