Here is my office.
My work is to talk to children about how wild and wonderful are their world, their God and other people—and how fiercely and forever and unconditionally loved they are. I teach them about grace; how grace means that they can relax because there is nothing they can do to make God love them more and nothing they can do to make God love them less. I teach them that the world will try to convince them otherwise, but the truth is that all they really have to do, their whole lives long, is bask in the light of God’s love and then reflect it onto others. I do this work because everyone should figure out what she believes to be the most important work in the world and just go do it.
So this morning I waited there, right in front of the altar while the little ones waddled in like geese—single file, squawking, looking so tiny inside the massive sanctuary. There is no way to describe how precious they were with all the heads swiveling around at the soaring ceilings and all the pinching each other and all the trying not to giggle. I’ll just say that my heart did that thing that happened to the Grinch—remember when his heart swelled so many sizes that it almost burst? That’s why I go to church—for the heart swelling. The heart swelling is the only buzz I have left. Luckily it’s the best one I’ve found: the kind of buzz that leaves me better and bigger instead of worse and smaller. Anyway—looking at those Joy Beings walk towards me, I wondered if this time my heart would swell OUT of me and I’d start floating above the pews like a Macy’s Day balloon.
At the end of the little geese line was a new student wearing a name tag that said: Ryan. Ryan was a head taller than the other children and his eyes were dark and deep, like wells you can look into but never find the bottom of. I was immediately drawn to this little man with the big, deep, sad eyes because I agree with Dr. Who: Sad is happy for deep people. I winked at Ryan. He grinned, but just a little.
My friends Nancy and Susan started the lesson and we sang and we danced and then we quieted ourselves and went into our still, small place in our hearts where we can listen for God. Then half way through our quiet minute: my big-eyed friend motioned to me in a way that said: can you come here? But can you not make a big deal about? So I went over to Ryan but I didn’t make a big deal about it. I just casually sat down next to him and kept facing forward so he could take his time telling me whatever he needed to tell me.
Finally, he tapped me on the shoulder and I leaned down close. He looked around the big sanctuary and he said:
“Excuse me. Is God coming?”
Then Ryan looked around again, like he was expecting God to show up here like Ronald shows up occasionally at McDonalds. And I just stared at this little man who had just asked me the question that every single human being who has ever looked around a fancy sanctuary or a busted up family or a hurting friendship or a shocking diagnosis or a messy world is thinking:
“Excuse Me. Is God Coming?”
I swallowed hard and I said: “Ryan. That is the best question I have ever heard. Just the best one. Listen, I won’t if you don’t want me to, but I gotta tell you—I think your class needs to hear your brilliant question. May I share it?”
My big-eyed friend’s eyes got even bigger and he tried to contain a proud little smile and he nodded to me.
I stood up and said, “Miss Nancy, I am so sorry to interrupt you, but this person has just asked the most honest, beautiful, important question I have ever heard anyone ask in my whole entire life. He looked around this room and he said, “Is God Coming?”
And it got really quiet and I looked at my friend and tried to respond. I babbled, really. I said, “I don’t have an answer, no one does, really. But here’s my hunch. I think God’s already here. I don’t think we wait for God to come as much as we bring God to each other. I think God is inside me and you, Ryan. It’s like… you know how cookies have sugar in them and that’s what makes them delicious? We have God in us. That’s what makes us delicious. And I think God sent US to be here for each other because God’s inside of us–so God knows that if we show up–God’s here too. God sends us to each other. Because we are all God’s family and sometimes family members send each other. You know how sometimes your daddy sends your mommy to pick you up and sometimes your mommy sends your daddy?”
And all the little ones raised their hands and nodded except for Ryan. I stopped and looked right at him. He said, “My daddy doesn’t pick me up. My daddy’s in heaven.”
And Nancy and Susan and I froze because suddenly those deep eyes made perfect sense and all the kids got really quiet in holy reverence for Ryan and his daddy and his questions—and there is no chance that in the history of the entire world there has ever been a more brutiful, silent moment.
And I let there be silence for a long minute and then when I finally pulled myself together, I walked over to Ryan and silently prayed PLEASE GOD HELP ME BE PRESENT FOR THIS AMAZING BOY YOU SENT and then I started speaking really quietly to him. I said, “Ryan, your daddy is in heaven?” And he nodded. And I said, “I see. Well my guess would be that God and your daddy are together there, and that God sent me and your teachers and these friends to be here with you today. So that we could love you for God. I think that God loves you more than you can even imagine. And I love you too, Ryan. I can’t believe how lucky I am to know you. I think that God sent you here for me, Ryan. Because you are just one of the most special people I’ve ever met. You have beautiful questions about God and you are honest and kind and I just think that you are my gift from God today, Ryan. Thank you for showing up here. I’m glad I showed up, too. Magic happens when we go where God sends us, doesn’t it? It’s like God sends us places to meet God in others. And to be God for others.”
And then I just went out on a big limb that appeared in front of me.
“Ryan, I don’t know how you can know if God is here or not. But here’s what happens to me when I notice that God is with me. My hearts starts to feel bigger. It feels like it’s swelling up. It feels like it’s getting so big it might crawl up through my throat. Like right now, next to you—my heart feels huge. Like somebody pumped it full of air. I think this heart swelling is sometimes how God reminds me that God is with me.”
And you guys. Ryan’s face—the face that had been so serious and so sad—broke into a smile that made it abundantly clear that God used the heart swelling trick on him, too. But he just didn’t know it was God doing it. And then he said quietly, “I know what you mean.”
Is God coming?
I know what you mean.
Have there ever been two more perfect, two more brutiful sentences uttered?
Then I asked Ryan if I could hug him and he said yes and he squeezed me tight and then Nancy had to take over completely because I could not speak for the rest of our time together. Just not one more word.
Listen to me. You HAVE to decide what you believe to be the most important work in the world and then you have to DO THAT WORK. Because THIS is what happens. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. God shows up. 
I love you.
Happy Easter.
G and Ryan
“…have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God.”
― Alice Walker, The Color Purple
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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129 Comments
LOVE.
“My daddy doesn’t pick me up. My daddy’s in heaven.”
that was my reality as a 5 year old little girl. now at thirty I can say Glennon I am really thankful you got sober- we need you.
Thank you for sharing this very touching story :o)
Oh oh oh . . .Glennon. I can’t even find the right words to express what this post is for me. Especially today. As if God wrapped this little bundle of words and love up and tied a bow around it and gently placed it in my hands saying “Here, this is for you. Treasure it. It’s important.”
I would say that I am trying to find the most important work in the world, that I am trying to find my calling, but that’s not right. I’ve been waiting. Waiting for God to show me what I think has been there all along. Waiting to get past this phase and that season and this baby and that stage. And I think I’m there now, and it’s seriously the scariest thing in the world. Like there is this GIANT wall that I have just walked up to and God is next to me and He says, “there, your place is on the other side.” And it seems so impossible and so huge, but I just realized something. I realized that this thing, climbing this wall, getting to the top, seeing what’s on the other side . . . it’s the MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD (at least for me).
And it suddenly seems so stupid to be afraid or to try not to climb that wall. Because who wouldn’t do whatever they had to for the most important thing in the world? And I don’t have the first little clue about how to do it. But I’m going to figure it out.
I’ve never said these words out loud, not to anyone, despite how insistent they’ve been growing in my heart. So I’m going to whisper them here, to you. I’m going to start a school. I’m going to create a different kind of school, where kids from under-resourced communities in Chicago will be told that they matter, and they are good, and they deserve the greatest future, and they will be listened to not lectured at, and the solution will be community and finding truth together, not memorizing facts apart, and their parents will be welcomed in to this community, this place that values them and their beloved children. I’m going to do this and I don’t know how (at all) and all I see right now are obstacles. But I’m trusting that God will show up.
God has such a special place in you! Just remember, you don’t have to jump the wall, just find the next foot hold and take a step. God is beside you, and in you, and together the journey is amazing. Just put your foot in the next spot and know another one will show itself, and lead you where you belong. Know also, you will be surrounded with love and Light from lots of us you’ll never even meet!
Dear Cara,
How beautiful that you are ready to grow into the plan that is for you. I have a friend who tells me if God wants you on the other side of the door he will drag you through the key hole if he has to! Go over that wall. Check Exodus for all that Moses was able to accomplish!
I do urge you to check out the Montessori method for your school. It was designed for children such as these and the lessons are about self worth and self reliance, and building community. It is a place where all are welcomed and valued. I think my most important work today was to be able to relay this message to you.
I wish every community had a school like this. God will show up in YOU, Cara! Amazing.
I hate crying at work! :o) Thank you for the beautiful reminder that “all (we) they really have to do, their whole lives long, is bask in the light of God’s love and then reflect it onto others.” You are one big, shiny reflector!!! xoxo to Ryan!
wow.
G – I love you. That is all I can say – my heart is swelling too big to say more. <3
with a Dad in heaven since I was two- thanks for sharing this….
Enjoyed the touching story of Ryan, et al. As a hospital chaplain with 12 years experience in the field, and now a 1st year M.Div. student at Eden, I ask myself these questions nearly every day, it seems: Where does God want me to be this day? Am I present to the Spirit fully? Do I recognize my ego at work, and try to deal with that the best I can. If it truly is a “still-speaking God,” then do I know the language, and if not, where do I go and to whom to seek wise counsel to obtain language proficiency? (this is what gets me up at 4 AM, and also why I try and eat chocolate every day).
Heart-swelling happy tears! What a wonderful feeling! Thank you for sharing!
Just beautiful, thank you for sharing.
I find God in the Catholic Church.If I had not found Him there, first, in the Blessed Sacrament as a child, I would not have been able to recognize Him in people. He is SO MUCH MORE than just folks being nice and loving.
I love how Jesus used questions (more than answers) to take conversations deeper and focus our attention on what’s really important. You can learn so much about Him by reading the questions He asked, and questions throughout the Bible in general. In Hebrew culture, the wisest person wasn’t the person with the best answers, it was the person who asked the most provocative questions. I believe if we can create a culture of inquiry in our families, we can reinvent every sphere of life.
Thanks for sharing this story. I had a very similar experience last week with high school students. The heart does swell.
Beautiful
It has been my great privilege this year to serve as the chaplain for the day school at my new parish near Richmond. I have NEVER worked with kids this young (4-5 year olds, I’ve been a youth minister to teens most of my career) so your description of how they come into the church struck home. I’ve had many wonderful moments working with teens but there is a special kind of joy that has come to me this past year. They are a challenge to me because I have to re-think how to approach topics in ways that mean something to them. This is a new and wonderful concept for me to think about and maybe help my “flock of geese” find their way towards as well.
Wonderful story. Thank you.
Thank you for the reminder about doing what we love and also about being love. A deeply spiritual friend of mine recently passed away and one of his most powerful comments to me was, “it all boils down to LOVE, nothing else matters, that’s all God asks of us.” I see one of my biggest challenges is to not live in fear, but to live in Love. Sometimes it’s hard to discern the Loving thing to do – usually if I’m confused, it seems that fear has crept into the situation and I need to get still and reconnect with Love and then my heart swells. Thank you Glennon!!!
Great wisdom in this comment. Love does overcome fear!
Glennon, this was my Monday entry in my personal journey:
“Happiness is showing up. Making it to the recital, the play, the party, the phone call, the nursing home, the meeting, the doorstep – being there, being present. Happiness is the look on your friend’s face or the tone in her voice because you showed up. Not that you dressed up, not that you came bearing gifts, but that you, you showed up. This is sad and hard, but the truth is, a lot of people won’t show up. Maybe their mamas never told them this secret mine told me: 95% of life is showing up. That other 5% – whatever words of congratulations or sympathy, whatever gestures of caring you may bring or do – those are good. But they are really the very little 5% of living. 95% of life is showing up. Show up at someone’s doorstep, mourning, event, celebration, even inbox – whatever – show up and be there, all there. Even if being there means weeping there, happiness is still showing up. Later, when looking back on your life, the times and places you showed up have long arms that can comfort both your friend and you well into the future. I don’t regret a single moment I showed up for. A few of them, I don’t feel those moments are anywhere near their end, even though they happened years in the past. Happiness is showing up.”
When I thought about this in light of your post about God showing up, I thought: God must like being happy too! 🙂
This spoke to me, so glad you shared it. I like those percentages, really puts it into perspective. Thank you!
I’m a shower-upper because I am led to. This really puts into perspective for me. Thank you!
My 7yr old son was just diagnosed with Crohn’s disease last week. He is in the thick of this ugly disease right now, he’s in a lot of pain. Even with the meds, he’s in wailing, mommy help me, pain. I have been praying for God to show up for my precious little boy, somehow, to just let him know He is with him. This was the perfect reminder that He does show up through me, and my husband, and his little sister who hold his hand during the waves of pain. He showed up for me through this story. Thank you G, please pray for healing for my baby. Pray for wisdom and strength for myself and my husband, and for peace and joy for my little girl who has to see her brother going through this.
Joni,
I am praying for you, your son, your husband and your daughter. I’m so sorry that your son and your family has to go through this. Sending prayers and love.
Joni, my heart goes out to you and your family. May God give you His wisdom on how to deal with this challenge. Please check into the book “Prescription for Nutritional Healing” by Balch and look under Crohn’s — there are actions that can be taken to lessen the symptoms. May God’s Presence surround you and yours this Easter/Passover like never before.
Oh I’m so sorry to hear that, I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis when I was 13, at first they thought I had Crohn’s. I’ve been living with it for 5 years now. I know how painful and unpleasant IBD can be. I pray for your son that he will stay strong and go into remission soon. (And when he’s a little older, check out Camp Oasis through CCFA, it was a wonderful opportunity for me to meet other kids with Crohn’s and colitis.) God bless!
Joni, praying for your sweet boy. My 13yo son has health problems and it’s so hard. Hugs to you mama.
Glennon you are so amazing.I always see God in you.
praying for you tonight
“Tracks of a Fellow Struggler” by John Claypool is a candid book of a father’s struggle traveling the difficult road of his daughter’s suffering and ultimately, her death. To read from another’s experience in living through a parent’s unbearable pain, perhaps it will be helpful to read his words.
Below is a quote from the book’s forward by Wayne E. Oates: “I have had to conclude that in the instance either of death or of life, nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.” (If you cannot find a copy online, email me and I will send you my copy.) God with you and God with your child, Pam Prater
Good grief that was beautiful. Stunningly beautiful. Thank you for sharing that special moment.
– sitting at my desk wiping tears away
Loved that story. I love children so much and pray that children everywhere can experience nothing but the love and presence of God from those who are responsible for them.
Beautiful! I’m all teary over here now. There is so much goodness here. And a Doctor Who quote, too! Thank you for helping me find words to help my kids understand God.
Glennon, I discovered your blog a few weeks ago on Pintrest (your post on the uh, family dinner conversation earlier this year) and I just loved it so much I had to read more. I went back to the beginning and I read and read and read.
Thank you for doing hard things and for reminding me that love wins and that we belong to each other. I now remind myself almost daily that I can do hard things too. Thank you for sharing your experiences with peacemaking and grace. Thank you for posts like these, that remind me that these heart-swelling, almost painful moments are really, truly, the most precious brutiful gifts. Just, thank you.
you are special too. Brutiful or Bea U TI ful awareness of Our Lord are true blessings.
Wow… A beautiful and sacred moment! Thank you for hearing Ryan and loving him!
Thanks for perpetuating the stereotype that religious people can only communicate with clichés, through overblown metaphors, and with sappy, simplistic, poorly written “stories.”
Could you have carried the geese metaphor any further? I think you were too subtle. When it became tiresome and ridiculous, you only held onto it for one more paragraph.
There’s a reason the educated world is leaving religion behind, and you are it.
Wow…
Dear friend,
Thanks for bringing up an interesting point!
I have found that as I make my way through the “educated world” (College), it is made up of many different types of people. I study communications, and through this study I have learned that all of these different types of people have different ways of communicating. That being said the same thing applies to I guess what would be defined by you as the “un-educated world” in that there are millions of different types of people in this world and they all communicate differently. As this story speaks of each of us bringing God to each other it is important to remember that we cannot do so for everyone, we can only connect with the people that we can effectively communicate with. It would seem then that there are quite a few people who identify with and communicate the same way as Ms. Glennon and that is why they are here on this site. Now there are definitely others who do not communicate in the same way, such as yourself, and it is important that you yourself go out and connect with people like that to communicate God with them. There is a special bond that people have in Christianity, that we share across communication levels, and that is God.
There is a reason that Christianity is leaving the world behind, and God is it.
I am curious as to why your response is so cruelly overblown. Especially since Jesus used stories and metaphors to communicate important truth frequently. You could have simply said you didn’t care for the story instead of perpetuating the stereotype that educated people are angry, mean, and leaving religion behind. Instead you carried your overblown anger through 3 paragraphs culminating in blaming the author for people leaving religion. That’s nonsense, but then so is your response.
Who is the God you believe in?
I’m sorry I ruffled your feathers, silly goose.
Love,
G
Perfection! Thanks so much for all of this G….
Blessings – T
Wow. Harsh. I’m sorry you’re in a spot that you feel you have to hurt others, and I hope you get through it quickly. In the meantime, let me tell you – I have two University degrees which I completed on full academic scholarship. I am a very educated person. And I not only love God, but I love the way Glennon writes. Sometimes us Ivory Tower types need to get off our high horses and be regular people – this I have learned the hard way 🙂
Jeanette, this is profound and right on target.
“I’m sorry you’re in a spot that you feel you have to hurt others, and I hope you get through it quickly.”
There is so much anger and snark in this world coming from people who’ve left God behind. What a kind, but pointed and honest,
response. Blessings!
All of the emotions and love and human care/being there for each other, etc communicated in this story can happen perfectly well without the god part, or with other gods. My opinion is that those who see this have a truer love and understanding.
Perfect response Breed7. Nice “feel good” story. Particularly liked the geese metaphor. Babies are born as Atheists. We send them to church as geese and indoctrinate them in the ways of our ancestors. In the future the world will look back on religion and chuckle.
That ignoramus John Calvin was even more caustic about babies at birth — totally depraved and from the git-go (rimes with “Gitmo,” but much worse) sinful, and their parents can’t do a thing about it.
Damn.
I wonder whether Breed7 and Al Cross know of a passage in Kierkegaard using the goose analogy.
And then there is Canada where recently I’ve heard tell the goose comes regard as symbol of the Holy Spirit.
Has Al ever considered change of surname?
I couldn’t agree with that last statement more! Love how you worded exactly my thoughts.
When I don’t particularly like the music on the radio in my car, I simply change the station. Rarely was I concerned that not every radio station provided music that matched my taste, or took time to comment on it. I simply press a button and change the music. Glennon may not resonate with every one, but that’s okay….change the station. Pretty simple, even for us “educated types” who aren’t leaving religion.
as my Grandmother would have said,”‘Well, God Bless your little heart, Breed7.” Here’s to hoping – and praying – that one day, you will totally get the feeling of your heart growing inside as you realize just what life is about and where you fit into it. You may keep on running away from God’s truth, but he’s still going to be waiting at the other end of the road you are running down.
Blessed is the Holy One of Israel for the likes of Breed7.
Breed7’s comments has given me new insight into the scene in what I think is the last chapter of C. S. Lewis’s (talk about a prodigious generator of verbiage “with clichés, through overblown metaphors, and with sappy, simplistic … ‘stories'” (however written)!) The Last Battle, where the dwarfs have made it into the Kingdom but won’t see where they are because its entrance is a stable and they are convinced where they are has to be nasty.
Hey, older brother Breed7, come on in and join the party.
(And with regard to quality of writing, might you not have intended “farther” where you used “further”?)
You’ll find lots of interesting people, some wise, some simple, some both, some educated, some humble, some both, with lots of engaging conversation and lots of engaging silence, and again some with both (ah, Wittgenstein should be proud) — and the food fast or slow’s not so bad either.
On further reflection, I find myself wondering: Who is the greater fool, the one who finds pyrites and thinks it gold, or the one who finds gold and thinks it pyrites?
… and on farther further reflection I find myself thinking, the drink however much after other isn’t so bad either — and methinks gets better anew as it ages.
Oh Glennon, of course I am weepy at this beautiful story. But I am also uplifted and puffy-hearted because it makes me SO HAPPY that you are having this beautiful life. I tell you a lot but seriously you deserve to Know your own Light and to blast it out into the world like some kind of rock n roll lighthouse. It gives me great satisfaction to know that you walk with Peace so much, because you have given peace to me. It still means so much. You let me forgive myself for some awful things a couple years ago just by telling your stories, and with that I’ve learned how to start forgiving myself for even awfuller awful things. I want you to never lose the light or the peace. I could not bear it and if you wake up alone in the dark one day, your monkees will all bring you a candle (and a lighter,) I would, I will. I am so glad you are there for those lucky children. I KNOW it’s HARD WORK to channel what you do, I send you strength and love and SO. MUCH. GRATITUDE.
Instant tears at the simple, profound beauty present. No words.
Thank you. I’ve been poking around the perimeter of your whole – what? – community, movement, storytelling space, empowering empire for awhile now. This story pulled me right in because it was true. I am a mom and a psychotherapist and I swear God does the heart swelling business with me all the time. Like ALL the time – but sometimes I forget to notice. Thank you for reminding me.
Thank you. Thank you for sharing your stories. I have no more words.
I love this! And I can’t wait to tell this to my children. And to quote a line from a great song ‘With every act of love, we bring the kingdom come.’ Thanks for bringing the kingdom to Ryan and to everyone who reads this!
Thank you for sharing these words today
Your words just do it for me. Thanks for sharing God with us in this way. Your ideas about who God is and how he works resonate with me completely.
There is SO much beauty in this moment. Beauty in his words, and the words that came to you when he needed them. And the gift you gave him with the heart-swelling-thing… Holy ground, there. Love was certainly with you all on that day. Shining and shining.
Once again, while reading your thoughts I sobbed at work. WOW!
Thank you for sharing this, it touched me in ways I have never felt before, thank you and Thank God for sending this to me when I needed it most.
And now I’m crying. Heart swelling. Thank you, God.
This was lovely! I didn’t know you did Children’s Ministry! I do too! I’m a Director of Family Ministries in a United Methodist Church. I’m also a part of Faith Forward – a fabulous forward thinking gathering of Children and Youth workers trying to unfold a new way of doing ministry with our children, youth, and families. Would be great to partner!!!!!!!
From one forward thinking momma/minister to another,
Jen
Beautiful… Seriously, thank you for sharing this. I needed it.
wow.
i definitely need time in real life to process this and test this out… 🙂
Beautiful. Thank you for this.
Big, fat, ploppy tears. Ryan, thank you for showing up, and Glennon, thank you for sharing Ryan with us. Ryan, next time you talk to God, please ask him to introduce your dad and my mom so they can be friends up there.
you always bring me to tears. Tears of laughter, tears of joy, tears of sorrow. Thank you. I wish someone like you had been around when we were raising our 8 children. God Bless you and your work. Sister in Christ,Loretta
WOW! You had me at the Dr. Who quote, love Sally Sparrow!!!!
Then you got to the heart of the story and made me cry. Well done!!
Fantastic!! AMEN.
I am prepping for my Grade 2 Religious Ed class tonight and wondering if I will continue to do this next year (it was my first year and a bit of a struggle by times) and reading this – with tears pouring down my cheeks too – I think I probably will continue next year. And I know tonight’s class is going to be great!! Thank You for sharing this beautiful story.
My bff I showed up yesterday to our local “alternative school” you know the place for the high school kids not on their second or third chance- but on their last chance. We heard they needed a PTO and they had no one. So, she and I volunteered bc we BELIVE in unlimited chances – Even though our kids are only in the second grade… So we show up to throw their award ceremony. And they’ve had these before, but they’ve never had one that we put on- you know “fancy” with like matching napkins and caring? The kind where a mom hands you a cupcake and looks you in the eye and says- “I’m proud of you!”‘ Or “Way to Go!” Or “Keep up the good work!” And we meant every word even though we didn’t know a single student or their story. Some of them looked down and dashed away, Some kinda smiled, Some said thank you, but one- one came back and teared up telling me that I had no idea how much me saying that meant to her. And she’s right. I don’t know. But my heart swelled just like you described. And I knew in that moment that if she or any other student could feel or see or even get a HINT of God loving them through me then I will show up every single time they need me. Every. Time. I will pass out cupcakes and praise and pray that it somehow helps. Even if no one ever says “thank you” again, that one girls eyes will be enough for the next 10 years.
AMEN. It’s the whole ‘scattering the seed on the road, and the rocky soil, and the thorny soil, and the fertile soil’ parable, isn’t it?! It’s worth it to sow the seed, even though a lot of it is going to be eaten by birds or choked by thorns, because what lands on fertile soil bears SUCH fruit.
Anyway, I didn’t know this kind of volunteering was a thing one could do (I’m not a mom yet!), but I am going to see if there’s a similar opportunity where *I* live. Thank you.
We really need more people like you in this world. Thank you for sharing!
Heart exploded after reading this.
The heart swelling, is the Holy Spirit in each of us. I went with family to our church’s Easter Pageant last Sunday night. My heart swelled and I couldn’t contain the feelings. I’m sure I cried for at least half of it. The music, drama, message, and most of all Jesus sacrifice for us, was overwhelming. I too know what you mean!!! Happy Easter and thank you Jesus!!!
That made my heart smile….
My heart is swelling. How amazingly beautiful. Your friend in Grace…
Can’t type. Too weepy.
Thank you, G, and Ryan, and Sister, and Amy–thank you for making this place powerful and for creating a place where our heart swells up three sizes too big because we are sharing God.
Such a beautiful word picture to describe what happens when God “shows up”. I feel like I receieve a gift from you every time I read one of your stories. The gift is a word picture. An original. Work of art. Thank you, Glennon!
G,
Thank you for this. It’s amazing how often we get exactly what we need exactly when we need it. It must be the God in you reaching out to the God in me.
I’m fighting the good fight against my depression right now, and just last night I had had just about enough of the fighting and for a moment I gave in to it and yelled to my Man, “GOD DOESN’T LOVE ME. And even if he did, it would be because I EARNED it.” But that’s not true. Grace is true. Grace is the TRUEST true. And I have to know that in my heart so that I can live that truth for other people.
So. Thank you. And thanks to Ryan. God is here. I know what you mean.
Wow…just, wow!
Thank you for sharing this incredibly moving story. You truly made my heart swell with this one. Truly, what a blessing!
Beautiful. Children stop us in our tracks. They humble us. They make us strive to be better. God is in each sweet, little child. His light shines through.
Thank you for sharing this.
As the mother of children whose Daddy is in heaven, thank you for reaching out to Ryan and loving him. This is one of the gifts that my children have been given – the ability to let other adults love them. Thank you, thank you and Happy Easter!
Carol,
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m praying for you and your children.
I’ve always believed that church is no more than a building—God’s people, His kids are the Church, which is why the Bible calls us the Body of Christ. Jesus with skin-on. Thank you for sharing, G. Gorgeous stuff—this long walk Home.
Thank you Glennon. My husband died suddenly a month ago, and I struggle to be able to explain this tragedy to our 9 and 5 year old children. Thank you for being there for Ryan, and thank you for putting into words what I have wanted to say to my children.
I am so sorry for your huge loss. ((hugs))
So sorry for your loss Lisa. Many prayers to you and your kiddos.
Thank you, G. Thank you, Ryan. Thank you, Monkees, for sharing your own brutifuls. And most of all, Thank You, Abba, for all of the above!
God uses you consistently to speak to me. I have been on a faith rollercoaster over the past 5+ years, many times questioning my faith, God’s existence, and the meaning of it all. In my darkest, most unbelieving moments, God seems to put you there for me. Your writing brings me back to God. Thank you for being the God ray that shines through my darkness.
That is so beautiful. I’m sitting here at my desk and can barely see to type, because my eyes have welled up with tears.
Same here.
Thank you Glennon. You have a gift for writing in a way that touches deeply for me. May we remember these great truths, to bask in the light and share it with others.
blessings, Brad
God, I love these stories!
Oh my. What timing. I just had a very similar conversation last night at bedtime with my young son. He was asking about God and telling me how hard it was to understand that God has “always been.” Then he wanted to know how Jesus knew that God was his father. That transitioned to immaculate conception (yikes!) and then to God speaking to Joseph. “How did God SPEAK to Joseph?” he wanted to know. That got into us talking about how God speaks to us… and I told him how God uses others sometimes to speak to us. I told him about a time when God used him to speak to me. When my son was little (about 4) I was struggling with something for a long time. I’d prayed about it, but I still struggled. Then one day while my son and I were heading off to play a game, he said to me quite softly, but quite out of the blue “Mommy – God loves you.” And then he went back to our conversation about the game we would play. I nearly fell over. It was so out of context in that moment, I knew God was speaking to me. When I told him about this, he understood. And he smiled, too, because God used him like that. I didn’t ask him if I could hug him… poor kid – I squeezed him so hard! And then this morning I read your post…Might need a few minutes to recover. 🙂
Oh Glennon…you are such a gift!! You did it to me again!! I’m laughing, crying, feeling my heart swelling…I want to hug you and Ryan!!! Thank you for showing up!! For sharing your BRUTIFUL life with us all!! You continue to write such an incredible LOVE story that teaches and inspires me!! And yes…When God does that heart swelling trick on my heart…it’s an overwhelming feeling of Love and Grace!! I can hardly wait to read this to my boys (10 & 13).
Brutiful! My heart is swelling and my eyes are raining and I feel so blessed to R a witness to your gifts!
Sitting in a waiting room, bawling and snotting all over the place. Just brutiful.
My son’s daddy is in heaven too. Boy, are we going to talk about this heart-swelling stuff. Beautiful thing you did for Ryan, and for all of us who get to read about it. Big Love.
Thank you for such an amazing, powerful and beautiful story and reminder.
Beautiful tears flowing from my eyes. Man I love the tender honesty of a child.
Thank you for making my heart (and eyes) swell up real big this morning.
Thank you for making my heart swell up very big this morning.
Thank you for my heart-swell this morning. God shows up every day…usually beginning with reading your daily posts. Thank you Glennon!
Oh my Glennon, that is a beautiful story. Children are the most innocent, honest and a gift from God. God is good and I have learned, in my recent sobriety, that his spirit is everywhere, he is there when we need him and when we don’t. God has a plan for everyone and if you want to live your passion and do the most important work just pray and HE will show you the way.
I’m in a bit of a vortex right now, not sure which way is up. But I don’t need to go up – I need to go In, to find God. And Out, to find God. Thank you for this beautiful compass.
(Also, “Macy’s Day” – I’m glad I’m not the only one who says that.) 🙂
God showed up just now as I was reading this. Thank you, Glennon. Thank you, Ryan.
Thank you.
What a forever impact you made on that little boys life!!! The church is my office too… I’m a church musician. You can’t have church until the Holy Spirit show up, and that means the Ryan moments in our lives can happen any time anywhere because the Holy Spirit lives in us. Happy Easter! HE IS RISEN!!!!
yep, sitting here with tears and snot running down..never been a graceful crier, but this was awesome! Thank you for helping us know how to let our heart swell and how to talk to kids…helps me stay on track on brutiful honestly when talking to my own kids 🙂
Oh yeah … Glennon does it to me again! Beautiful. Stunning. I love hearing how God shows up in people’s lives. Love, love, love to hear how love works when we listen and feel and become aware that God is here, for me He shows up in other people – like right here Glennon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep rocking the love … being alive feels good, recovery feels great, and love feels precious to me now. The pain was worth the grace I’m able to feel today …
I am weeping. I want to hug Ryan. I want hug You! Thank you for doing your work and thank you for sharing it! These words, “Listen to me. You HAVE to decide what you believe to be the most important work in the world and then you have to DO THAT WORK. Because THIS is what happens. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. God shows up.” I feel like you wrote these TO ME!
I am figuring out the work I need to do and I’ve been afraid and thinking, “Others will do it better. Others are smarter, wiser…you fill in the blank.” I look for examples of how it already exists in the world. They don’t need my voice!! Sigh…
It’s taken me awhile to figure out what I have to say to the world. I feel like I figured that out. And now, this nudge from you, from God, I HAVE to share it. I have to say it. I have to live it. Thanks Glennon! Thank you Ryan!!!
I was feeling dry and overwhelmed since I’m a pastor and it’s Holy Week. This filled me up and I’m feeling ready to proclaim the good news of the cross and resurrection. Thanks, G.
This post is so delicious that I didn’t just skim it, I read the whole thing. My heart feels huge. I have to go find someone to love on RIGHT NOW.
Wow.
Thank you for my morning cry.
This is THE MOST…everything. It’s just the Most Everything, thing I have ever read. Glennon, I have found my most important work very recently and you couldn’t be more right. The heart swelling, the magic. God. It’s all there. My cup runneth over, friend.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful moment with the special child.
Oh, Glennon, I wish I could figure out what I think is the most important work in the world. I feel so lost and confused. WHAT does God want me to be doing?!! Please say a prayer that I can figure it out. My heart just hurts because I want to know. Thank you for what you are doing. You are truly an inspiration….
April, I’ve felt so lost as so many times. As I look back, I can see how I was being prepared because I wasn’t ready yet. Waiting can be the hardest part. I have learned to try to be present and patient and look for what lesson I can take in the moment. My recent wait gave me a long opportunity to practice the trust and faith I have in God. And to echo G, we don’t need to have it all figured out, we just need to do the next best thing.
You are loved and prayed for,
A
Oh April, I stopped and said a prayer for you the second I saw your heart posted here! I prayed for God to show you hope and guidance. I prayed that God would hug you tight and show you your confidence. I prayed that your heart would hear the answer to the question “do I matter? What can I do?” April, I think you’re so brave for wanting to know! Sending you love and light!
Happy April, April! Read back the beginning of this post where Glennon says that nothing you can do can make God love you more or less… then spend some time every day looking inside your heart. Take 5-10-20 minutes every day and focus your attention all the way deep inside your heart and look at it as hard as you can. Try looking Inside of you the way God would – without thinking that it’s bad, or it’s good – it just is. Then throughout your day, look for situations and people and things that make your heart swell the way that Glennon described. Jot them down or take a picture with your phone. After a few days, a few weeks, take stock of your notes and photos. What makes your heart happy? What makes your heart swell? Then, talk to people. Talk to people about these things. Ask people what makes their heart happy. Ask people about the work they are doing.
Finally, the most important step: help. Don’t “try something” or “do something” – help someone. Ask people, “how can I help?” And then don’t wonder if that’s the “right thing” – just do it. Good luck sister!
I think God’s doing that heart swelling trick on me too now. Thank you. Truly brutiful.
Welps, that made me feel something in my throat for sure. And the takeaway from that is there are Ryans in our midst every single day…question is do we listen and love on them like in your story? A great reminder to open my eyes and heart today.
I have found when teaching preschoolers if you make something very personal and special for God or Mary or a confession and tell them to put it in their underwear drawer, you get a lot of traction.:)
Your story is so powerful. You and Ryan are making my heart explode. Thank you.