EVERYBODY: Remember when I posted this image a few months ago?
Thank you for this meme, Flying Yogini!
Here’s what I wrote with it:
NEW PLAN OF ACTION:
You know that voice in your head that’s always telling you that you’re not a good enough woman, man, wife, husband, mother, father, friend, artist, worker, giver, human? Let’s retrain that voice today.
Let’s practice speaking to our self kindly and with respect- like we would speak to a good friend. We need to make friends with ourselves. We are stuck with our self ALL DAY, so let’s be kinder, gentler, more amusing company. Let’s take our own hand and say, “There, there, sister. You’re doing a good job. I’m proud of how you’re handling all this craziness down here. Don’t give up. Carry on, warrior.” Life is a long journey. Let’s become better traveling companions to our self.
HERE’S THE PLAN: TODAY – when we lose our temper with the kids, when we accidentally eat that third brownie, when we don’t send that thank you card for the fortieth day in a row, when we forget to stop at the gym, when we’re late for that meeting – anytime and every time we fall short of the ridiculous expectations we put on ourselves – we are going to say to our sweet, well-meaning selves:
“Whatever. I’m fabulous anyway.”
That’s grace. TODAY we shall offer ourselves GRACE and see how THAT goes. Let’s make friends with our selves. We deserve to have a good, kind, gracey friend. We can BE that friend to ourselves.
We must practice believing that we are deserving of Love and forgiveness. We are. Life is Forever Tries. 
Love,
G
WELL, a few months later…LOOK what Mama Kristy sent me!
Dear G:
Thought you would appreciate seeing the note I taped to my daughter’s saxophone this morning (after driving 40 minutes round trip to retrieve it) to salvage a crappy situation made crappier by my reaction. The irony is that normally I am headed to work but today I was off and looking forward to 6 glorious hours of nothing and now I only had 5 hours and 20 minutes of it.
But reading your blog gave me an idea that turned this situation into a bonding teachable moment instead…. you are making a difference one family at a time….. Much love to you and thanks.
Kristy
VICTORY!! WARRIOR MAMA! SUPERHERO – FORGIVING HER KID & HERSELF IN ONE SINGLE BOUND!!!
You guys- here’s my hunch: we think we’re somehow being good parents if we beat ourselves up for every mistake. As if guilt and hemming and hawing and self doubt = LOVE. But one of the many problems with this belief is that this critical voice we use to berate ourselves becomes our kids’ internal voice, too. They learn that the way to love people is: Try to be perfect for them and then when you’re not – Make yourself miserable in their honor. BOOOOOO. Bad plan! Horrible plan! Not love! What if every single time something went wrong- we did what Kristy did? What if we just GOT OVER IT? Got funny about it? What if we lived in a constant state of radical, relentless forgiveness? (Grace)
Might our kids end up with a kinder, gentler, funnier, less neurotic inner voice? Might we?
Would our kids learn that actually, love is just showing up as you are, trying, making mistakes, and then trying again? Would we?
Go forth and forgive ALL THE PEOPLE WHO ARE MOSTLY DOING THE BEST THEY CAN, ESPECIALLY YOU!!!!
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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90 Comments
Hi G,
This is an old post, so I don’t know if you will see this, but I have been meaning to write to you for a while and was inspired to just do it when I read this post today (I’ve been picking random posts from your “favorites” tab read almost daily – today’s is my favorite of the moment). I’m fairly new to the revolution; my Sister brought me with her to see you and your Sister speak in NYC a little while ago. The timing of the event was perfect for me because about 6 months prior I started to learn about mindful meditation and you and your message of “We’re doing the best we can and that is good enough” was perfectly in-line with the lessons I had been learning. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical going in because I am not terribly religious and the little part of me that is, is a Jew, so I didn’t know if I would connect. Within seconds of your opening comments, I was hooked and spent the next couple of hours laughing and crying and nodding my head at my Sister. Pretty much all of your thoughts on Jesus match my feelings about G-d and the Universe, so I didn’t feel left out when you mentioned Him; I found myself translating your message into terms that resonated with me. After the event, I read your book and was just blown away by it. I embarrassed myself more than once on the subway by laughing and/or crying out loud, but inspired by your message, I brushed off that uncomfortable feeling and went right on laughing and/or crying (most often both at the same time).
So, thank you for opening your heart and your mouth and your laptop (I guess) and making us all a little more compassionate towards ourselves and the people in our worlds.
I also wanted to tell you about another book that has changed my life called 10% Happier by Dan Harris. Dan’s memoir about his journey from skepticism to mindfulness is so accessible and realistic for regular, “I’m doing the best I can” people. From what I know of you, I feel like you would enjoy his writing style and message.
Anyway, that’s what I wanted to share…You truly are an inspiration to me and are for sure one of my favorite people on the planet. Thank you for reminding me that there is a light inside of me that deserves to shine brightly.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
Your loyal fan,
Jody P. – Queens, NY
Really enjoy and agree with your philosophy. It is so important to let our children make their own choices and yes, their own mistakes based on what feels right to them at that time. Eventually, with our guidance, they will figure it out. I am a firm believer that everyone has an Internal Guidance System and the younger we start to use it and encourage our kids to use it, the better their odds are when they encounter those inevitable brutal periods in life.
This is exactly what I’ve been saying to myself lately! I want to live more with grace for myself, and others. You’d think it would be easier but being raised a girl I feel like there’s all kinds of pressure to always be perfect and “nice”. Two things that don’t exist in real life. Thanks for this great reminder!
Oh how I *LOVE* this! I often think that whatever I’m doing, it would probably be better if I just up and did the complete exact opposite. Like, what I’m eating, what I’m saying, how I’m acting toward my children, what I’m doing or where I’m going. And…okay…while I know my judgment can’t be THAT bad, when something’s not working, we need to find a better way. Maybe taking away my kids’ toys when they misbehave should become…getting down on my knees and hugging them and saying, “I Love You. I know whatever you’re doing is not about what you’re doing. Are you unhappy about something? Are you really upset, about something else?” And I’d bet you 500 Hershey’s kisses that the situation would be diffused, as opposed to hiding the Skylander in plain sight and inducing more tears and wall punches and stamping feet. Time-outs. Huffing around and slamming things.
I think Love might work better.
Thank you for this post! It’s just what I needed to hear today!
Thanks for this. Just the right words at the right time.
I’m 100% convinced that God sent you here for the purpose of telling us we can carry on, even when we don’t think we can – thank you, this meant so much to me today.
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and what the heck, people like me. It worked as a joke in a movie. Not here.
Thank you for this post. Yesterday was a bad day and I was setting up today to be the same. I was drowning in a pool of guilt and anger and self doubt. It’s funny how I come across these posts just when I need them, and read the comments from fellow readers that make me feel less alone. Thank you.
How timely this is for me today. My husband has just left for work with my nagging, criticizing voice in his ears. Yes, it is annoying when he does the exact opposite of what I ask time and time again but that doesn’t mean I have to make him feel rubbish about it.
Oh wow. That is so simple and so perfect. We really are stuck with ourselves all day long :)! I’m finding it easier to accept my foibles as I get older, which I think has a lot to do with confidence too.
I love the idea of forgiving myself and others all the time–because why not?! I’ve realized that when I harbor resentment towards someone, it’s only hurting me! Thank you for this!
Do you mind if a father (two boys, 13 & 15), gains insights and draws inspiration from your posts? Either way, thank you!
Guaranteed you are more than welcome, at least by me. Gets lonely sometimes being the only male reading daily.
Bubba
Holy hell. It’s like you’re responding to my fb post yesterday. I said that to be the best parents we can be we need to be our best selves (and I was NOT my best me yesterday).
Tomorrow I go to the doctor to see about getting help. I am sad and scared that by admitting I need medication I am admitting I am not strong, not enough. I know that’s not right and that I need help from the constant pressure I put on myself and everyone around me but I still can’t stop beating myself up about it. Sorry if this is a bit off topic…I just needed some sister love. Thanks.
And I think you are strong by admitting that you have tried it alone and it’s not enough. I think the strong ones seek help when they’ve exhausted other options. God speed on your journey to living a quality life of happiness and health.
I’m so glad you’re talking to your doctor! Admitting you’re not perfect and need help is really hard. Plus, there are tons of ways to get help that might not even include medication (depending on your specific situation). If you need medication, that’s OK too. Try to think of it this way: if you break your arm, you’d probably go right to your doctor or ER. If you have high cholesterol and change your diet and it is still too high, your doctor might give you a statin. These are not weaknesses. These are living in a country where we have access to great medical care and take advantage of that care. Be good to yourself and be honest with your doctor about how you’re feeling and make sure the doctor understands the kind of help you want and need. Good luck. You’re awesome!
Thank you so much Chandra. You kind words were just what I needed.
I am trying to remember that, Amber. My husband and I have started marriage counseling and I am hoping after speaking with my kind, grandfatherly doctor tomorrow I will be on the right track. It’s just a scary, uncertain road but I’m glad I have you kind monkees as cheerleaders. Thank you.
Jenny, as Amber mentioned, I think it is amazing that you put this fear out there pubically, that takes quite a lot of strength. I have suffered from mild chronic depression for over twenty years now. I tried cognitive-behavioral therapy first, which did wonders but I still was really suffering on my bad days. Looking back, I fought getting on medication for so long…for the same reasons that you mentioned! And it just isn’t true. 🙂 Being on medication hasn’t turned me into someone other than myself (I was worried about that too) but just gives me enough strength and perspective to see the pain for what it is and the knowledge that I can ride it out. And I can now do the other things that help with depression (excercise, yoga or meditation, eating well) too. PS. You may already know this but just to put it out there, there are different kinds of depression – conditional/circustancial based on events happening in your life or chronic – your doc can help you with that too…knowledge is power. But you can do this! Carry on Warrior! You are Amazing so it isn’t off topic at all!
10 months ago I had the same embarrassing chat with my doctor. I was in turn diagnosed with severe depression and severe anxiety. It was scary hearing it but a relief knowing I wasn’t just imagining it. The great news is you will be okay and it takes amazing strength to reach for help when you need it. You are amazing and will continue to shine because you woke up and asked for help. God bless and may you find the answers you need tomorrow.
My sons are 7 and 9 and I worry what damage I’ve done to them, being sad, moody, emotional, hi/low. I hope that, by getting help, the bad Mommy will be a distant memory to them but, having never been on medicine I have silly fears like, will I still be me? A major part of who I am is an emotional, feely, passionate person.. Yes it makes me difficult but it also makes me…. Me…. I don’t know… It’s just a lot… But I do want to be a better wife and mother so… We’ll see. Stand by sisters and thank you so much for the support. XO
Hi Jenny,
I want to encourage you in your journey as you start your new medication regimen. I, too, was hesitant to take anything to help with my many mood swings and constant anxiety. I did not want all the things that made me who I am to get lost in the process. I can honestly say that not only did that NOT happen, but I now feel more myself than perhaps I was before I started the meds. I have a very open and supportive relationship with my doctor, and I think that that combined with a loving and supportive environment makes a world of difference. I wish you peace and blessings in your journey of becoming a more healthier YOU in every way.
Hi Sister Jenny,
It is admirable that you have posted your need to get answers and help. I’m sure others will gain courage from your vulnerability.
If it turns out you need medication you are in good company. Somewhere in one of these Momastery posts it says that they say “all you need is love”, but for Glennon all she needs is “love and Lexapro”. For me, all I need is “love and Wellbutrin”. For some it’s love and Paxil, Abilify, whatever. Medication can bring help and relief.
Let us know how it goes tomorrow, okay? You have support here.
Love, Sister Bridget
Thank you Bridget. All the support means so much.
Being able to admit you need a little help and then to go get it is really, really brave. I did it several years back and it was so, so hard and I felt much the same way you’ve described. But we all need a little help now and again. Each in our own different way. Sometimes it’s hormones, or thyroid, or another medical issue. My anti-depressants and anti-anxiety treatments have helped me tremendously over the last few years. I am a better person and definitely a better mother. Courage to you, and remember to treat yourself with the same love you give others.
Rae, easier said than done! Isn’t it so odd how we can be so ugly and mean to ourselves but would never treat another person so horribly?! I think Glennon even has a post(s) about that. Guess I found my belated New Years resolution. 😉 Appts at 9. I’ll be glad when it’s off my chest! Thank you for your support!
And it’s lexapro for the win. 😉 XO
Yay Jenny!
I am so happy to see you’re on your way. You did a hard thing!
Much Love and hey, love won❤️ Bridget
Thanks Bridget!! Happy Friday and Happy weekend! ☺❤
This post is perfection!! Sometimes, I think the critic and self-doubter is so strong within us that we are still hearing that self-doubter-voice when others try to talk to us–so their words can be poisoned by our own self-doubts. A friend sharing a story about something that is helping them becomes interpreted as something we aren’t doing right. Perhaps truly learning to love ourselves is the best way to make the world a better place . . .
My guess, she is saying things within earshot because she really wants to re-connect with the mom that she loves but doesn’t have the tools or courage to do so (plus it is her job as a teenager to put us through the wringer especially when we deserve it.) You apologized to her for being disrespectful to her & as well, you reallyowe yourself an apology. When we are disrespectful we are just lost & confused human beings desperate for another way to get through to our kids or spouse.
Maybe write HER a note telling her that even though her current energy on what was said is coming out in a frankly, unacceptable passive aggressive way…that you love her with all your heart, that you see many awesome things for her future & no matter what happens between you two…you have hope that we can always, always choose to work through it.
Take care.
That was a reply to Beverly.
Thanks,
Stacie, thank God, he send me messages just as I need the words.
Your aunt
I needed this so much just now. I’m in the middle of a thing with my 18-year-old daughter, in which I said something I shouldn’t have, and even though I apologized, sincerely and multiple times shortly after, she’s refusing to speak to me (going on a week now) and saying all sorts of horrible things about me (within my earshot, of course). I’m not engaging that, but I have been beating myself up and feeling like a terrible mother for the larger part of every day.
No more. I messed up. Whatever. I’m fabulous anyway.
I really needed to read this today. My daughter called me from school asking if I could bring her her tennis shoes for PE and I said I would then promptly forgot. I laid a pretty good guilt trip on myself for being a terrible mom, so disorganized, and for failing in my efforts to make sure my poor middle child knows she’s loved and valued. Anyway, of course I blew it all out of proportion. I love this response much better. I sure appreciate your blog. Please keep writing!
This is so awesome and timely! “But whatever…you are still awesome!” and “Whatever, I’m still awesome too” – We ARE awesome…all of us – we try, we sometimes disappoint, and we are still awesome! Thanks for this reminder 🙂
My kids are grown, but I love this post. By the way, I totally understand accidentally eating those brownies. Personally I’m more prone to eating ice cream accidentally, but I’m still awesome, right? =)
You Are Still Awesome Donna… Ice cream has milk in it which is an essential dietary need, so keep up the awesome health choices!! 🙂
Ps. I am by no means a dietician, I just like ice cream too, lol!
Beautiful…this was SO what I needed to read…thank you!! I can’t express enough how empowering all of your voices are… thank you! What a beautiful concept to begin giving ourselves the grace that we want to give to others… what a beautiful and peaceful ripple effect….thank you 🙂
“Voices” meaning that everyone that has shared a response are also sharing their voice…. I appreciate this blog and all of the individuals that share in it…. thank you 🙂
You are the second person today to tell me to give myself some “Grace”. I think that’s my new word of 2015. Up until now (another new way to talk to myself), I’ve been very very hard on myself. Going to try and try and fail and try some more! I totally hear all the parents here talking about the anger…what’s up with that? I don’t know how she gets me going like that? Why can I control it at work but not with my kiddo? Grace….fabulous anyway…breathe and repeat…
You may be fearful or sad about something to do with your kiddo. I saw a refrigerator magnet once, “being a mom is not for wimps!” Also, I tend to parent like I was parented! Working through family of origin stuff has been helpful to me. And as moms, we need to use awesome self-care (
bubble baths, reading a good book, taking a walk, yoga, keeping journal…breathing is always good!
This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today! Well, maybe yesterday too. And probably tomorrow. Thank you so much!! We rock!
I am surrounded by so much negativity and I allow that to seep into me and what people believe of me I believe all that nonsense to be true. As a result I’m super anxious and super stressed 24/7. I’m not enough not ever enough. Help!
One person in particular makes me feel worthless and gives no acknowledgment except for criticism and blame. How do I carry on… With so much baggage holding me down…
If it is the person you are married to, as in my situation, then it is difficult, especially when our children are in the mix. I would be curious to know more about what is making you feel anxious and stressed, as I am currently in the same situation.
same here. i find that when I’m alone, I’m pretty happy. but the expectations of others, and certain other people in particular, and the need for me to meet their demands (which aren’t necessarily unreasonable, but it’s the need for me to never mess up) keep me constantly stressed. It’s no fun. it becomes a constant battle between negativity and attempting positive self-talk. right there with you!
Thank you. I really needed to see this again. I struggle with this daily–for approximately the past 6 years, but heavily for the past 3 years. Ironically, I have a 6 year-old, 5 year-old and 3 year-old. Thanks to Momastery though, I’m getting better at turning those impossible self-imposed expectations and the negative, guilt-inducing inner voice around. Still, I am who I am, God made me that way, and I can’t keep kicking myself for that. So, instead I’m being real with my kids. They see every shade of me, especially the ugly ones, and now I own it, love on them, and (try to) move on. Otherwise, how should I ever expect them to do the same?
I just changed my email signature to say,
Striving to live in a constant state of radical, relentless forgiveness, reflective of the grace I have received!
…but I’m only striving, because if I fail at forgiving you right away, well, whatever, I’m still awesome. 🙂
“You guys- here’s my hunch: we think we’re somehow being good parents (artists) if we beat ourselves up for every mistake. As if guilt and hemming and hawing and self doubt = LOVE. But one of the many problems with this belief is that this critical voice we use to berate ourselves becomes our kids’ (works’) internal voice, too.”
And not just parents/kids, but artists/work, too! I’ve been having this with writing a lot especially and ouch! It’s taking a toll! But no more! I WILL screw up and it WILL be awesome!
This is beautiful Glennon, and so timely. I feel like you wrote it just for me – that, of course, is one of your gifts! Just this morning I published a post about coming completely unglued in front of my kids and trying to find the grace in it. I open my computer at lunch and here you are saying it all so much more beautifully. Thank you!
A long time ago, my aunt gave me a great tool to use when being too hard yourself, being too anxious about something, etc.:
Take out a picture of yourself as a baby or young child. Realize that the little person in the picture is still somewhere inside you. Treat that little one well and take great care of him/her.
I’m not saying that I always (or ever) remember to do this, but your post reminded me of this. I may just try to remember it next time I am hard on myself. But if I don’t remember, at least I am still awesome. 😉
I was beating myself up because I got my kid to school a couple minutes late, as always. But the thing is, a friend of mine was a couple minutes late with her kid as always, too. We are both late everyday. But, I admire this friend for the great mother she is even though she is late everyday. Why can’t I cut myself the same slack as I cut her? From now on, I’m admiring myself for the great mother I am even though I get my kid to school late every single day. Thanks so much for the self talk check!
I had the biggest pity party yesterday…like all day…uncontrollable crying…throwing things, cussing…ridiculousness…all because the day before I had rolled my foot again and hurt it AGAIN and again I was down…because a week before Christmas I had spent 5 days in the hospital with pancreatic issues and a few months before that I rolled my other foot and broke 2 bones (I am healed from that but now its my other foot…i don’t get the nickname grace for no reason 🙂 ) ANYWAYS, I was so pissed at myself…because you know its all my fault this is happening to me because I’m clumsy, dumb, fat, not worthy of love…ya I’m a mess…but then your words come and its like…damn, whatever I am fabulous because well…I JUST AM. Love you and your words!
Milissa, it’s amazing how I came to your post today. I’ve been feeling the same as you for months now. You have my sympathy. We had a similar holiday…husband hospitalized with pneumonia, I came down with pancreatitis, a week later I had pneumonia, and now my fibromyalgia is out of control. My ankles also all the time too. No one understands unless they have been through it. I feel very lucky that I have amazing love and support all around me. It sure helps but it is exhausting, as you know. If you ever need someone to just talk to, drop me a line. Blessings to you, stay strong!
Thank you sooo much! Sometimes the enemy wants us to feel isolated and alone…well i know that’s how it makes me feel…anyways i love that i am not…and that warriors around are lifting me up when i can’t…so lets hold each other up…blessings to you and carry on my sister…stay strong! <3
Such a great example for me. I need a more loving voice in my head. Thank you for being a super hero Momma.
Much needed this morning. Your timing is impeccable, as always! xoxo!!
I really needed this today after having a morning of not liking who I was rushing two kids out the door, losing patience and being late to work. Thank you! You’re right, I’m quite fabulous. Marvelous is what my grandpa used to tell me. Marvelous Sarah. 🙂
This. Today. Yes. Breath taken. Self forgiven (mostly – working on it anyway). Thank you!
thanks. I needed that!
Absolutely love this. Perfect for my women’s group meeting this month. I just sent out topic for discussion yesterday. It is: Reasons I’m Fabulous. They will all get a copy of this post. Thank you.
Can I be so bold as to add one little phrase . . . only because sometimes it feels like it’s become a lost art? “Love is just showing up as you are, trying, making mistakes, SAYING YOU’RE SORRY, and then trying again.” There! How’s that? 😀
I was thinking the same thing Julia.
just this morning I really lost it with both kids. And I have done sooo well for a while , just brushing it off and say “Ok, well if you don’t want to get ready in the morning, you will lose out on playtime in daycare” and just keep calm. But today for some reason I really lost it and the worst thing is, I can see how it reflects right back on their behavior and how they handle themselves when getting upset. And it ain’t pretty!! And who can blame them ’cause I ‘m not really showing them the way. I feel guilty, embarrassed, ashamed of my behavior- acting like a 12 year old selfish brat when in fact I am 36 years old and doing my best to be a responsible mother. But it also leaves me to wonder: where the hell does this anger comes from? I mean it just fires right up insider of me and i don’t really get a chance to say or even think, “whoaaa, hold your horses” before it explodes insider of me. What’s up with that?? Well to keep with the equestrian terms, I guess it is just back up in the saddle and try to do better again ..and again..and again. BUt right now, I don’t feel fabulous. Will try to find that spot again, but it is really hard right now!!!
I am right there with you. Where does that anger come from? You know what though? Forgive yourself. Apologize to those kids, and guess what, they forgive you too! And they realize Mommy isn’t perfect. Who is? We make mistakes and work through them and apologize when needed. I think that’s a good lesson for kids too. But maaaan, I hear you and I am with you. It’s not easy raising kids!!! 🙂
Camilla & Chrissy: same here. But I haven’t been as hard on myself because of something I read before having kids and want to share with you. A mother was listing the top 10 unexpected things about becoming a mother, and one was how quickly we would become angry – even if a moment ago, we were perfectly fine. It made me realize that we’re not alone, that every mother (and father?) experiences this.
Thank you Chrissy and Elaine. I definitely need to be better to say sorry right afterwards – good reminders!!
I guess I am just afraid that if I let myself “off the hook” I will only get worse ..I guess it is a control thing 🙂
Camilla,
I completely understand. Completely. I definitely can overreact to little stuff. I think I have always been this way and feel like I should be more patient with my kids. But I do think that there is such a valuable lesson for our kids if we do apologize – I honestly think it is better to make mistakes and apologize rather than to mode; being perfect and having no regrets, apologies, etc. Because our children learn from us and it is unreasonable to expect them to always behave perfectly so I think it is good for them to see us pick up the pieces afterwards (and remember their easy forgiveness) so when do they same, they know what to do. Some folks never lose their cool — that is just their personality. But if it is not yours, it might not be your kids’ either so I think it can be healthy.
I needed this today. Thank you!
Thanks for this! Especially today! While I tend to be forgiving and understanding of others, I constantly forget to offer myself that same grace. Okay, so I messed up. I can still be awesome!
Thank you so much for this, especially today. I’ve inherited that awful inner voice (and I’m sure that my mother inherited hers as well) and I know I’m already passing it on to my child…and hoping it is not too late to break the cycle. I know it starts with me though.
I needed to hear this today. Thank you for posting!
You know, there are warrior daddies out there as well. I have a four-year old that can be unnerving at times – especially when I’m alone and getting her ready for school/bed/dinner/play. Please don’t forget that daddies are out there doing the same work as mommies. Thanks!
“You know that voice in your head that’s always telling you that you’re not a good enough woman, man, wife, husband, mother, father, friend, artist, worker, giver, human? ” She included you.
We see you Adam. Thanks for working so hard to be a great daddy! <3
The mama’s out here hear you warrior daddies and recognize you!!!! Keep on keeping on Adam and being awesome!!
Yes yes yes! No more guilt! Just try your best, fix what you can and keep going:)
This is fantastic. Thanks, G, what would I do without you.
“Grace” is a word I’m trying to embody this year. This morning after yelling at my 3-year old for taking 20 minutes to put her boots on and crying about it I told her to do it herself and I’d be waiting in the car. I came back inside and my 6 year old son was helping her; soft voice, gentle, calm, patient. I felt like the worst mom in the world, then I realized my son must have gotten that skill SOMEWHERE. Here’s hoping it was me.
I literally said to myself in the car driving them to school today “carry on, warrior” 🙂
I totally feel you! I have a 3 year old too and it’s so hard to not think that he’s older than he is. Grace is a great word… Lets both walk in grace today with these kids!
Thanks Amanda. I’m practicing at Starbucks with a soy latte. I’ll be practicing all day until I pick them up at 4…maybe 5 today 🙂 XO
I have a 3 year old too. My nine year old is just like your son with her in these situations. I always feel so greatful for her & so discouraged with myself. Thanks for sharing this insight. I had never considered that. But it’s likely and it’s a good space for grace to enter.
Well, it apparently wasn’t me who inspired my son to be like this. Later that evening I wrote an apology to my kids and thanked my son for being so patient and calm. He says, “I learned that from my teacher, you yell all the time” – so much for that.
Jacqueline that must have hurt, but you are still amazing! Your son has been molded by you, is learning amazing things from you, and you are helping him to see that there is value in the ways that others handle things when we don’t necessarily have the right answer. I have been apologizing to my kids a lot lately, and have had to tell them that “today I was a really great example of what NOT to do/how NOT to act” and I am learning to accept that some days I am the bad example, and other days I am the good example. Each is valuable, and even though some days I am the poster child of what not to do I am still amazing.
I have two 3yos both wild, crazy non-listening cute-as-they-can-be twin boys. Honey don’t worry, my sanity is tested all day every day. Hooray 4th birthday is coming in one month, 2 days lol. I have this crazy idea that 4 will mean fewer tantrums and less crazytown than 3. We shall see.
I love this so much. He DID learn that somewhere. Good job, mama.
OMG, this so was me today. Yelling at my 9yr. Old because he just wasn’t listening and not moving quick enough. I lost my cool and yelled at him. Beating myself up all day because of a bad start of the morning, thinking I’m a bad mother. When I got off work and picked him up from school, he was all smiles and told me all about his awesome day, as if nothing happened and he got over it. I told him that was great he had a good day, but our morning routine needs a little more work, and I was sorry for loosing my temper. From now on I’m totally going to try not to sweat the small stuff. Tell myself I’m fabulous anyway and I am a great mom with an awesome son 🙂 this has truly touched me today, I needed to read this, thank you.
“Love is just showing up as you are, trying, making mistakes, and then trying again.” Love this, G!
The BEST reaction to a reaction EVER! Go Warrior Mama!