This is the poem I have taped to my computer — I read it every morning before I write:
The small woman
Builds cages for everyone
She
Knows.
While the sage,
Who has to duck her head
When the moon is low,
Keeps dropping keys all night long
For the
Beautiful
Rowdy
Prisoners
– Hafiz
Many of us live out our whole lives in cages like shame, fear, perfection, people pleasing, and judgment. But we are too wild and beautiful to live in cages. I can prove this. Look into your soul. Notice how it’s stirring? Do you sense the rowdiness inside? That is your soul telling you that she’s ready to break out and live free.
Through my writing and every interaction I have with another woman- I want to be a key dropper. I want my life and work to beckon – Come out, come out, come out and play.
This film was made by a dear friend, courageous storyteller and hilarious Texan — Travis Reed — filmmaker at The Work of the People. Travis is an artist, and TWOTP is his gallery – it is a treasure trove filled visual essays of folks like Richard Rohr, Brene Brown, Brian McLaren, Shauna Niequist, and Barbara Brown Taylor.
Please go to Travis’s gallery — it’s church for your eyes, mind and soul — it is free to view, and you can buy a yearly subscription to watch and download an unlimited number of films all year for your community.
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G, I don’t know if you ever come back and read later comments on here, but now that someone helped me find a quote that was playing around the back of my mind but I could quite get to, I had to come back and post.
First, I totally agree with the philosophy behind what you said here. But this is not the only thing Scripture has to say about being concerned about another Christian’s actions. Sarah, back on Feb. 6 (at 1:5 p.m., to help you find it) said, “but what if someone you know is sinning?” and she was immediately jumped on as not seeing the point.
Sarah was asking a reasonable question. See Matthew 18:
* 15h “If your brother* sins [against you], go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. 16* i If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ 17j If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church.* If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.
Now, of course Jesus isn’t saying they should be hateful, but he is clearly saying that someone should point out with respect that the other person is not doing what is right. He must have seen some difference in how “Gentiles and tax collectors” were perceived, even as he was socializing with them. I think it’s only fair to Sarah and anyone who may have questioned this idea that your stance on the story of stoning — which I still think is very good — is not the only way this is approached in the Bible.
It sounds as if Jesus meant this as believer to believer, but even so, it’s a different take on things.
G,
Two weeks ago this weekend my cousin caught himself on fire while trying to cook meth. I’ve spent 75% of my free time over the past few weeks sitting next to his bed, holding his hand and knowing there’s nothing I can do to make his pain any less. I feel so conflicted. I know in my heart I am called to be by him and walk through this with him. But then I feel frustrated and fearful that he’s not going to change, or turn his life around. And then I read this. And I know that this stirring in my soul is my breaking free. That trying to change him is above my paygrade. My job is to love on him and let God do the rest. That God can use my love to change whatever needs to be changed.Thank you. I needed this so badly.
Watched this the other day…love it, love it, LOVE. IT.
So love this. As someone who works in the “church world” and deals with people who are too often ready to throw that stone, I want to shout this message of loving and letting Jesus do the rest from the rooftops!
Hi Glennon,
I am new to your space here and I am loving it! I must say you turn my thinking with these videos(in a good way) I am definitely pondering and will probably watch this again and again.
I think in our churches and maybe just in my own we are taught to be like Jesus so we go out to “help” and “love” and we offend instead. We crush our brothers and sisters, we crush the world around us that God loves.
Jesus is Perfect Love. He is the only one who can change hearts for the better!
glennon… wow. {{tears}} this was, no IS, incredible. true. thank you for being a vessel for truth. for courage and strength and immeasurable beauty. carry on, warrior. you are making a difference. in all love & gratitude. -tammy
My yoga teacher (who is a Monkee, too, btw) closes each of her classes by having us take an inventory of our practice and our bodies. She asks us to notice how we are feeling at that beautiful moment that ends each good class, and to know that we brought ourselves to that place. She then reminds us that we always have the power to make ourselves feel the way we do at the end of a yoga class. It’s powerful, connecting, spiritual, beautiful stuff.
When I think of the story of Jesus and the stone throwers, I think we are all Jesus AND the stone throwers, and that the line about “Go and sin no more” can be chalked up to a change in vernacular over the last 2000+ years that is equivalent to my yoga teacher telling me that I have the power to find peace whenever I choose to do it. It is the equivalent of you making this movie. Jesus isn’t telling the adultress how to go about sinning no more; he is saying “You have the power to go forth into the world and be free.” And so I believe we can be like Jesus in this story just as much as we can recognize that we are often holding stones that we need to put down. Reminding ourselves to put down the stone is teaching others to be free. Same – same.
I like to think about it this way, because it is important for me to consider Jesus as an accessible human being. I sometimes wonder if the Bible is a bit like Jesus’ Facebook profile – it is this collection of stories of miracles and all of the examples where he did the right thing even though the right thing was really, really hard. But I can’t help but think that there has to be a three-dimensional human being behind the miracles – one who couldn’t learn to access and teach peace the way he did without stumbling and falling himself – without having to perhaps remind himself to put down a stone from time to time. At least that’s what I believe.
I think it is kind of awesome that you, Glennon, have figured out that sometimes teaching people the way Jesus did gains even more credibility when you allow people to see your mistakes, too. Who knows? Maybe while he was walking the earth and actually DOING the teaching, Jesus was open and vulnerable and showed people all of his flaws, too. Maybe that’s what made him charismatic and lovable by so many, as well as hated and condemned by others unwilling to face their own demons. I just think the people who wrote the stories so many years after his death probably left out the imperfect, human parts – so many people interpret him as a super hero, when, in my opinion, the whole point was that he was a man. That he was a man is what makes aspiring to be more like him even remotely possible.
I offer this interpretation not to anger or offend anyone, or to suggest that my interpretation is better than yours or anyone else’s (I don’t even really think that our interpretations are all that different), but just for the purpose of an interesting discussion; to offer that the means are not as important as the ends. We most certainly agree that we are all stone-holders who need to put down the stones. It is always a pleasure to read your thoughts on these stories. Your movie made me think about that story for a good 24-hours, and I am going to guess that this is why you made it – to make people think. To be a teacher of peace. (I see that Jesus light in you ;). ) Thank you, friend. Peace.
Wheels still turning…Perhaps his humanity IS revealed in the Bible, but we tend to gloss over it…thinking now about the story of Jesus in the boat with the disciples (Matthew, 8:22-25):
“And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. And they came to Him and woke Him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing!” He said to them, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm.…”
I read, “Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?” as “How many times do I have to EXPLAIN this to you? Can’t a guy catch a NAP? Teaching peace is really EXHAUSTING.” 😉
After watching this with my, my 5 year old daughter said “she’s really good at talking!”
Beautifully spoken. Thankyou:)
G- I’ve been a longtime reader, never commenter, honorary self-declared Monkee. LOVE YOU and everyone here. Feel like when I need courage, I come here. I just want to shout this from the rooftops today because I’ve been trapped in my own cage of security and people-pleasing: I QUIT MY TERRIBLE UNHEALTHY JOB TODAY AND I’M SO BRAVE AND SO PROUD OF MYSELF AND FEEL AMAZING. I just felt like the Monkees and you would understand. I said to my boss “Here’s my two-week notice. This job is sucking all of the life and joy out of me and I have nothing left to give.” I danced around to Sara Bareille’s “Brave” in front of my husband (who is amazing supportive of this crazy dream) when I got home. I just…. LOVE ALL OF YOU. Thank you for giving me courage to do the formerly impossible.
Three cheers for Emily! You Did a Hard Thing!! You rock!
I love what you said Glennon, but what do you do when someone you love is hurting herself with drinking or drugging? I don’t judge that behavior harshly as sin–we all struggle with something–but it is costly, as you well know. In my case, I have lost one sibling because of substance abuse. The thought that it might happen again is heart breaking for all concerned. Is it OK to speak my truth, which is the pain of seeing her pain, as long as I am not telling her what to do? Is that the dividing line in your opinion? Is loving her with my heart (she lives hundreds of miles away) while never addressing the issue going to help her at all?
Glennon or anyone else with an addiction might be able to give you a better answer, but I know that a lot of people recommend Al-Anon if someone you love has a drinking problem. You might want to talk to someone from there and see what they have to say. Best of luck and God bless you.
Oh, this is GOOD!!!! Love it!
Thank you, Glennon. Love it. Love, love…
i love you, glennon. love the way you know and love god. my spirit always stirs when i come here. i love you so much and am so proud the world knows a jesus lover like you.
Love this. Thank you.
Oh Glennon, oh Glennon. Thank you, thank you, thank you.xxx
I love this message and it is really making me think. My question is how do you help someone who is sinning know that they are sinning, but you let them know with love and without judging them? What can you do to help them after you put down the stone. I am asking how you would handle a situation like that. If you can see that someone you love is sinning, how could you help them in that situation? I am not challenging what you are saying here. It is just making me think me and making me have more questions 🙂
The problem is that everyone’s concepts of what is sin or sinning vary…some may say they base that on the bible but even that has varied interpretations. It gets tricky and without meaning to becomes a judgement. HOWEVER, that does not mean we allow others to hurt people. If we put love first we will naturally adhere to boundaries and love…or put into practice Necessary Endings in our relationships ( a good book by that title written by Henry Cloud). So then it becomes all about relationships and we are only responsible for the relationships we engage in. Then the question of “sin” is moot. Instead it is about how we conduct our relationships. How we implement boundaries if we are being abused in any way and how we also implement love. It’s not about being a door mat but it is not about letting someone know they are ‘sinning’ because they have to learn what is appropriate in a relationship and what is not…Sometimes at the cost of the relationship (like in an abusive situation.) I don’t know if that makes sense but once I decided to stop using the word ‘sin’ in my vocabulary and start focusing on healthy boundaries and love- I didn’t need the word anymore and neither did others…Perhaps we need to change our words along with our stories?:)
Sarah…I think that what Glennon is saying is that you can let go of that. It’s not in your job description to tell them that they’re sinning. And really I don’t believe that there IS a way to tell someone that they’re a sinner without judging them. Your job is to love. End of story. Let the weight of that other stuff slide off your back. 🙂
Maybe by approaching the topic in an obviously loving way? People respond to those who obviously care and don’t get defensive when they don’t feel they’re being judged. W/o the details, I can’t know if this person would or wouldn’t. Chances are if they don’t recognize their choices as sins you’ll not have much luck, but keep loving anyway.
I think Ellen, below, really has it right. Not an easy thing at all, and I say that at the thought of trying to learn how to do it myself.
I love this question, Sarah. . . I love it because I had to answer it for myself and remind myself of this truth since I fall into the trap of ‘telling people they are sinning” disguising it as “speaking the truth in love” far too often. Anyway, the thought I came to while pondering your question was this. . . how do I come to know when *I* am sinning ( or specifically a time in the past when I was aware that something I was doing was sinful). . . was it because someone told me? and when I look at the times when I felt my heart repent for my own sin that I was being made aware of – sometimes for the first time – Most often, it was when the Spirit was talking to my spirit. . . rarely did it come from a human intervention. All the times someone talked to me about my sin even kindly were times I pushed back feeling judged even when it was done in love. I’m reminded of a verse in Romans. . the Lord’s kindness brings repentance. . . I guess what I think I’ve come to is that the only thing I can really do is pray them through from afar and love them through knowing that God can use my kindness and love sometimes in someone’s life to help them see their sin but it is rarely when I am holding the mirror trying to show it to them.
I love this answer.
I DO want to break out and live free. I am starting to, but still working at breaking out of that cage of what other people expect from me. I WILL break out! I WILL live free! 🙂
WWGD…What Would Glennon Do?
I adored this. Many epiphanies while watching. One of them being that sometimes when I share my story I need to communicate that I am sharing…not fixing. I realized I can come across as a fixer because I like to share resources, what helped me (be it books, meditation, yoga ect) but I do not explain to the people that I do not expect perfection or for them to have the same journey…I just share to share and if it helps it helps…if it doesn’t – ignore it. I forget to actually SAY that intention and I realized it is an important assurance to say to anyone I am sharing stuff with. Thanks for the epiphany!
I love that poem too. Another reminder to me often along the same lines is this quote:
“The man who fights too long against dragons becomes the dragon himself”- Friedrich Nietzsche ( who has a bad rep in christian circles but has been misquoted and has lots of brilliance to impart:)
Anyway, thanks for sharing your beauty.
Kmarie – this is such a great point. It IS important to state intentions when sharing your own experience. I will also do my best to remember to do that as well.
Thanks for this,
Nicole
I LOVE this and I LOVE TWOTP! There are so many wonderful things there to encourage and feed our souls.
Sometimes we need to put down the stone, sometimes we are the woman, caught in sin. I think when we’ve been the woman caught in sin, forgiven and given a new way to live through Jesus, we understand that only his words, his way, his truth matters. He gives us the confidence to get up out of the dirt and to stand and live free of the ever threatening hoard of stone-throwers
Yes. I was thinking the same thing. We need to realize that *we* are doing things that need to be forgiven, too.
Oh man. This was soooo good. How awesome that we “just” get to love. The rest of it just doesn’t belong on our shoulders. So grateful for the freedom that comes with that!! Beautiful, as always, Glennon.
Love that poem. Oh to find a way out of the cage of fear and find a way to live out the life I want for me -especially at the age of 51.
When I am rowdy – laughing, singing, dancing, joking, playing, BEING – I feel the most free. I often feel stones being thrown at my liberation. Sometimes those stones really sting. Sometimes they steal my smile. Sometimes they replace my joyful state of being with a shameful way of acting more appropriate.
Thank you for this. Joy is always appropriate. I will continue to spread it.
Oh how I love Hafiz…
you are beautiful and brilliant Glennon. Keep on playing, writing and dancing.
Love and gratitude to you…
Thank you! I went to this site the other day and I watched the Brene Brown interview. ps.. Don’t you just L.O.V.E her. Something she said really stuck with me and now it lives on a post it note on my desk: “I used to think faith was I’ll take away the pain and the discomfort but what it ended up saying was I will sit there with you in it.”
LOVE IT! Just lately I have been thinking to myself what would Jesus do…thanks for clarifying everything a bit more for me 😉
I have a new favorite poem. And I’m happy to be a new key dropper.
When you reveal your heart, you shine :).