Forum

The Monkee Forum is yours. Use it to share worries, needs, funnies, prayer requests – inspiring links or movies or book or songs – empty out there, fill up there. It is your safe space. Our Monkee Sanctuary, if you will.

Welcome Guest Show/Hide Header
Welcome Guest, posting in this forum requires registration. Username: Password: Remember Me

Forum » General Discussion » Recovery » An Imperfect Recovery

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 >> Last

Author	Topic: An Imperfect Recovery

LindseyBD1-
23

Beginner
Posts: 25

An Imperfect Recovery
on: February 1, 2012, 14:36

I truly respect the AA and NA groups that I "visited" earlier in my recovery. But I stumbled on some semantics, some practical points, that made me heel hypocritical for showing up- like going there would make me a fake (sort of how I have felt about most churches, but that's another topic altogether). COMPLETE ABSTINENCE FROM ANY MIND ALTERING DRUG. This classification casts a big, wide net, including everything from hair conditioner (almost all contain alcohol) to anti-anxiety and anti-depressants etc. etc. etc. I would love to hear from you crazy grown up girls out there who are in recovery and get some feedback. I've always had a HIGHLY developed moral compass/ conscience, and as a result I find that (other than this arena) I don't quite know which way to lean during those times where I could really use a support group. Hope your days are beautiful and bright, ~L

Rachael

Beginner
Posts: 33

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: February 3, 2012, 00:07

I've never been in a formal program, so I can't speak to your overall question, but as someone who often gets hooked on semantics, I wanted to offer another point of view. To start, go over to the Momastery archives and read Home to Myself: http://momastery.blogspot.com/2011/02/home-to-myself.html - it's about Glennon's experience with depression and medication. She came to the conclusion that for her, medication was helpful if (and only if) it made her become more herself. As a fellow crazy girl, I felt a kinship to this message. Going back to what you said though, I would not consider something that makes me more real, more true, more authentic, more myself to be a mind-altering drug.

You know, 12-step programs aren't for everyone. But if you find that they're ever helpful to you, then I encourage you to go, and not feel like a hypocrite. I think the 12-step programs are kind of like religion. We don't all agree on what certain words or doctrines mean, but we can take the good from it and use it to grow and become better people.

The point being, maybe you could interpret "mind altering drug" to mean any substance that alters your mind from your true self. Like the way alcohol often numbs our minds. Then you wouldn't feel so conflicted about that rule. Just an idea.

(Also, I think that hair conditioner helps us become truer, more authentic, less frizzy versions of ourselves.)

love you sister. be brave and strong. we can do hard things.

LindseyBD1-
23

Beginner
Posts: 25

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: February 3, 2012, 16:25

Thanks Rachael I read Glennon's post that you refer to, and it did strike some familiar chords. I think in addition to being hung up on semantics, I've never out grown my "good girl" complex (contrary to what my actions, mostly past, might suggest!). Throw in the perfectionist tendencies and much much more, and I find myself lost in the details-like conditioner . I agree that 12 step is not for everyone (acknowleding that it is a lifesaver for many). I guess I'm dreaming of a non 12 step AA...and for now, this recovery page is it . Thanks for the feedback sister...love coming right back to you. we ARE brave and strong, and together, we ARE DOING the hard things!! xo

Kitty

Beginner
Posts: 27

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: February 5, 2012, 14:37

Lindsey, although I have never been in a program I am a recovering "Good Girl". I found a wonderful author that helped me overcome that enough that I may have some luck at not passing it on to my daughter. I have an addictive personality that has caused drama in my life. Rachel Simmons helped me realize what I was doing to myself in response to my own failings and perceived failures. I checked her book out of the library and am seriously thinking about re-reading it.The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence was life changing. For more info http://www.rachelsimmons.com/

shadyrn

Newbie
Posts: 5

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: February 6, 2012, 22:24

we may just have to have our own recovery group right here! I went through an Intensive outpatient program last May after hitting a bottom- I stuck with it, going to group three days a week, plus AA meetings at night, getting my slips signed and turned in. I didn't do well with the idea of HAVING to have a sponsor-"you HAVE to call me every day...if you don't go to meetings, you WILL drink again". I didn't like going to meetings 5 times a week- it felt like all I did was hear the same things over and over, it didn't feel good, dwelling on the evils of alcohol EVERY DAY. So I quit going, despite all the disappointments these people shared with me, making me feel like I was failing at my recovery. despite their warnings that not attending meetings was the first step towards relapse- I AM 8 MONTHS SOBER!!!
HOWEVER, I am struggling with the fact that I thought being sober was supposed to make life better and easier- I also quit smoking cold turkey 3 months ago. I am being the GOOD GIRL, and things don't FEEL better, and it's making me mad. Life is still going on as before with teenagers and a passive-agressive husband- only now the edges of life are SHARP- the dull haze that alcohol put on things is no longer there to comfort me- I realize it was not a healthy remedy, but the reality of life is harder sober. My family is not jumping for joy and thanking me for being a better mom, better wife and that sucks.
WOW, I am really venting, but this may be a great place to do this for those of us recovering from something, anything! Thanks for reading!

dulcinea

Newbie
Posts: 3

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: April 2, 2012, 13:55

I, too, had issues with AA. Mostly with the higher power piece - and even though they say your higher power can be anything...the groups I went to didn't feel very open on that part. You know, I've struggled with depression my entire life, and I think without medication I'd be in serious trouble. At least at this point in my life. So...I recovered on my own. Well, I should say with my therapist! But without a group. And that was really a lonely time for me. I have family, sure, but no community to lean on. And at that time I had not heard of this blog! Another part for me was that in my city, all the AA groups seemed to be devoid of "people like me." I'm not judging at all - what I mean is that in the groups I went to, most of the attendees seemed to be those who were living in substance free housing and/or group homes, and while that is GREAT and amazing for those folks, I just couldn't relate. It was almost like I wasn't "addicted enough" to participate - ha! I'm sure that's not true...it just didn't feel like a good fit. But, I've been sober for 1.5 years now, and I think that's worth celebrating!

eillemart

Pro
Posts: 4138

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: November 22, 2012, 15:10

cheap A. Lange & Sohne watches
[b][url=http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-wat<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/a-lange-sohne-watches-c-567.html">cheap A. Lange & Sohne watches</a> 
<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watches-c-577.html">Armani Watches</a> 
<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watches-c-577.html">Replica Armani Watches</a> 
<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watches-c-577.html">fake Armani Watches</a> 
<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watches-c-577.html">cheap Armani Watches</a>

Help me choose my dress!!

eillemart

Pro
Posts: 4138

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: November 22, 2012, 15:10

cheap A. Lange & Sohne watches
[b][url=http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watc<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/a-lange-sohne-watches-c-567.html">cheap A. Lange & Sohne watches</a> 
<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watches-c-577.html">Armani Watches</a> 
<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watches-c-577.html">Replica Armani Watches</a> 
<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watches-c-577.html">fake Armani Watches</a> 
<a href="http://www.anotherwatchesonline.com/armani-watches-c-577.html">cheap Armani Watches</a>

Help me choose my dress!!

eillemart

Pro
Posts: 4138

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: November 24, 2012, 00:32

Mens The North Face Reversible Jackets
[b][url=http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jacket<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">Mens The North Face Reversible Jackets</a>
 
<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">The North Face Jackets Sale</a>
 
<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">The North Face</a>
 
<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">The North Face Jackets Outlet</a>
 
<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">The North Face Jackets Online</a>

Help me choose my dress!!

eillemart

Pro
Posts: 4138

Re: An Imperfect Recovery
on: November 24, 2012, 00:33

Mens The North Face Reversible Jackets
[b]<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jac<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">Mens The North Face Reversible Jackets</a>
 
<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">The North Face Jackets Sale</a>
 
<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">The North Face</a>
 
<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">The North Face Jackets Outlet</a>
 
<a href="http://www.ynorthface.org/mens-the-north-face-reversible-jackets-c-83.html">The North Face Jackets Online</a>

Help me choose my dress!!

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 >> Last

Mingle Forum by cartpauj
Version: 1.0.33; Page loaded in: 0.02 seconds.