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Forum » General Discussion » Bereavement » Missing my baby

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Author	Topic: Missing my baby

ali

Newbie
Posts: 5

Missing my baby
on: January 24, 2012, 23:49

Just starting this forum topic in case anyone is lonely. 20 weeks into my first pregnancy I lost our son. 11/10/11 is a day I will never forget. I miss my Zachary.

jrinn

Newbie
Posts: 2

Re: Missing my baby
on: January 25, 2012, 14:02

Ali,
I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter, Miranda, this summer, she was born at 39 weeks on July 10, 2011 and lived for 36 hours. I miss her EVERYDAY. I hope that you can find peace, like I do, in the fact that my sweet baby girl is with God. Although the pain has not gone away, it has changed. It is less consuming and gets easier to manage each day. I hope you find peace and healing in the love of God and those around you. Zachary will be watching over you! Sending love and prayers.

MelAulds

Newbie
Posts: 2

Re: Missing my baby
on: February 1, 2012, 17:22

Ali,
I just wanted to say that I too am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing a baby as far along as you did. I lost two back to back, at 12 and 8 weeks in 2010 and it was the most devastating thing I have experienced. But like Jrinn said, I hope you find peace and comfort. It does get easier as we go on though we will never forget our children. I hope it's ok if I share a video I made in remembrance of National pregnancy and infant loss day this year. It was published on Destinyinbloom.com and is right underneath the short paragraphs. http://destinyinbloom.com/beautiful-things/ I also wrote about the grieving and healing process at http://www.beautifully-chaotic.com . I'm not a professional writer or anything, but while I was going through everything I just found so much comfort in those who had found healing. It reassured me that I wouldn't be drowning in that grief and pain forever. That God could make something beautiful out of all I was enduring. And he did. SO I wanted to do the same for others.... much love, Melissa

jmcob72

Newbie
Posts: 3

Re: Missing my baby
on: February 10, 2012, 17:04

Wow! I just happened on here as I approach the 10 year anniversary of the loss of my daughter, Jillian Eve. She was born at 25 weeks and lived for about an hour. I still miss her every day but the feeliings have changed over the years. I have less pain, more peace. I am thankful that the years have blessed me with some peace. I often have a tiny corner of me that feels alone....because this isn't something that is easy to casually bring up in conversation. Sometimes now...on a really good day... I even find myself with a glorius picture of my beautiful baby girl in the arms of my grandparents in heaven---boy they all look happy. Anyway...sorry to ramble. Thank you for sharing your stories. By talking of your lonliness you made me feel less lonely. Im really sorry for your loss. Since my loss is a lot futher back than yours i'd be happy to help if i can. I hope you are kind to yourselves and I hope your pain lessens. If nothing else i hope you know you aren't alone!

ali

Newbie
Posts: 5

Re: Missing my baby
on: February 11, 2012, 20:32

Thank you ladies

Jrinn, I am sorry for your loss, losing Zachary at 20 weeks was hard, I cannot even imagine how much more difficult losing a baby after living for such a short time. The maternal bond, is a strong one, no matter life or death. I do find peace in knowing he is watching over us every day... but I am a greedy person and wish he was still here too.

Mel, I'm sorry for your losses too. Thank you for sharing your video and writing. I too find great comfort and healing by writing. I post on http://www.lifeunderthestars.com and over the last 3 months I've poured my heart out in ways I never thought possible.

Jmcob, Thank you for letting me know that peace does come in time. I am starting to get there, and am excited for the future and trying for more children. Zachary will always be our firstborn. I am so sorry for your loss and appreciate you giving me hope

Thoughts and prayers with all of you and our babies up in heaven.

jmcob72

Newbie
Posts: 3

Re: Missing my baby
on: February 13, 2012, 07:46

oh! I guess i should also mention I have two other happy healthy ornery children now. my next pregnancy went very smoothly and my baby was born with no complications. Its amazing how many people have gone through loss if you are open to sharing. thinking of you all in your loss and feel sad for the burden you are carrying now. take care.....Janice

jrinn

Newbie
Posts: 2

Re: Missing my baby
on: February 13, 2012, 16:46

Ali. I understand being greedy - I too wish everyday that something could change the events on July 10 and I could have Miranda here with me!!

Thank you everyone for sharing. I am so very sorry for your losses. Hugs and prayers to all of you.

MelAulds

Newbie
Posts: 2

Re: Missing my baby
on: February 15, 2012, 15:01

Ali- I agree too, about the greedy thing. Even though I am very blessed with other children both before and after the losses of our girls, I still want them.
But that's not a bad thing A counselor told me that the reason we mourn their loss so deeply is just because we loved so well. So while it hurts, what it says about us is good. And sometimes I kinda feel like I have honored their lives by grieving them and then by healing and sharing my story with others...
I look forward to reading your blog, i know how writing from a place of pain can bring so much relief and I think it's a gift to others because they can read it and know that when they grieve they aren't alone!

ali

Newbie
Posts: 5

Re: Missing my baby
on: February 22, 2012, 22:29

Mel - I completely agree. I HAVE to grieve to honor Zachary and I am happy to do things in his memory. We have a bench being placed at a playground in the park I walk the dog in. I can't wait to bring future children to Zachary's bench. My husband and I also had custom rings made and I will wear mine proudly forever! I also hope it is a conversation piece so that I can freely talk about my precious baby. The ring has footprints and stars engraved for all to see (http://www.lifeunderthestars.com/post/2012/02/18/Our-Rings!!!!.aspx)

eillemart

Pro
Posts: 4138

Re: Missing my baby
on: November 22, 2012, 15:10

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