This is my back porch. It’s where I can be outdoors without annoying outdoor things, like sun and bugs and lack of couches. I love everything about this room…except for that stupid simplify sign.I bought that sign when I decided that my new thing was going to be “simplifying.” Which was, coincidentally, right about the time Craig and I ran out of money
The point of the sign was to encapsulate and display my new manifesto, which was as follows:
See, I didn’t need you anyway, stupid money and fancy, extra things. I am simple. Organic. Deep and spiritual and above material comforts. I reject you, extravagance, before you can abandon me. Or at least immediately thereafter.
Anyway, the Simplify sign mocks me, reminding me every day that perhaps I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Because wouldn’t it have been simpler not to buy the stupid sign?
I always feel like the sign is arguing loudly with itself on my otherwise peaceful porch.Like a painting of a gun with a peace sign etched in it.
But no matter what, I can’t take the sign down, because when I brought it home Craig said “OH! Wonderful! Another wooden word sign. Exactly what we need. It’ll be in the garage by next weekend.”
So it has to stay. Forever. I will be buried holding that horrible Simplify sign.Which would be funny, don’t you think?
P.S. Please stop with the dentist referral emails. You know I love you and appreciate your concern for my welfare, but like material comforts, I consider myself above dentistry. I fancy myself a unique type of transcendentalist, if you will.
This is the day, friends, enjoy it.