Oct 252013
 

love-yourself

I want to make peace with my body. I want to love it. I don’t mean that I want to improve my body and then love it. I don’t want to weight train it into submission or lotion away my cellulite or train for a triathlon. I know these efforts are healthy for some people, but to me, too much improvement just feels like more war.

Read the full article in November’s issue of FAMILY CIRCLE (LOVE THEM!) here.



Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
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  65 Responses to “Loving the Skin You’re In”

  1. Why people still make use of to read news papers
    when in this technological world the whole thing is presented on net?

  2. I did enjoy this post, and for a minute or two I felt like, “Yes! I want to love the skin I’m in! I’m going to stop hating my body!” But a few minutes later, I was back to obsessing about it. Calculating the calories I’d had for the day, and strategizing a way to get through the day under 1,000. I wish this post were enough. But, at least for me, I know it’s not. I go away thinking that I would really love this post and hop on this loving-myself bandwagon if I were just a little bit thinner.

  3. I think that I have everything under control until I think about my body and the war that I wage against it. It is my way of making the world okay. I am working on just being in my body.

    I pray that if I do have kids that they view there body as wondrous things that can jump, run and climb.

  4. I feel like I need to take care of my body as much as loving my body as it is. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s after my second child. Since then if I don’t eat healthy and exercise my body is no good to me. It impacts my mood as well. So I can not just accept my body for what it is (pear shape and slow metabolism etc) and let go. I have to show my love for my body with my actions,

  5. I recently gained weight and am now 15 pounds overweight. I think I still look pretty good; I am not obsessed with my appearance. My problem is that I am diabetic. I have to exercise and eat well whether I want to or not. I have to focus on my weight because it impacts my blood sugar and health significantly. I cannot just accept how I am, because each day I do that is another day I am damaging my body. I can’t just make peace with the extra weight. There are zero days when it is OK with me to just eat what I want and act like a couch potato without accepting the repurcussions. It is often a real challenge to “love the skin your in” when that body is riddled with disease.

  6. Thank you for this refreshing piece. Something happens to you as you get older. I am 52 on 11/24. Many of the people I am around are much younger. 20’s and 30’s and very few 40 or 50’s. I hear comments about body shapes and sizes, hair style choices, short hair, that one is ugly, this one is too skinny, that one is fat and on and on and on. People stick their foot in their mouth right in front of “their elders” who are going through body changes, hormone changes, perhaps changes due to CHEMO and you don’t know. But some love to poke a little fun at the “slower” crowd.

    I cringe. I get mad. I retort WHEN needed. I remind people “hey …. YOU …you’re what, 32? (or 26 or whatever is appropriate at the time). YOU. YOU just wait until you are my/that age. OKAY??? Let’s see what you have to say then when your arms begin to shake like chicken wings, you can’t wear your below the belly, low-rise jeans, you jaw sags and you gain a little extra weight and your knees hurt, your butt cheeks drop about 2 inches (mine has dropped 5 inches as of now). No offense to all you beauties of all sizes out there, that are under 40. I love you all – but some just do not get it and they will not until 40 or 50 creeps up. It’s a whole different ball game folks. Body, mind and all.

    I hear women complain about their “flaws” … that they actually do not have. Talk about how fat they are (when they are the exact same size as me) so I say to them “you look great and by the way, we are the same size so you must look at me and think I’m fat too.” I realize the insecurities there. I’ve had them. But as time passes, so to will this. Let’s hope, for all.

    Glennon, you DO become more comfortable in your skin as you get older. I am SO GLAD you are feeling this. I mean that in the best way. SO hopeful that someone like you with your “written voice” can spread this message.

    Now I’m not gonna lie. There are times where I complain. And I will joke about my sagging jawline and my jiggly arms but, I joke. I laugh at myself. That’s gonna happen from time to time. But, I’m not KICKING myself. Because I have something new. It is confidence. I am more CONFIDENT. That is the key. And with confidence comes a comfort level that you will deal with, with your body. Sure I’d LOVE to get a tummy tuck (and I deserve one) after numerous surgeries due to endometreosis, two high risk pregnancies and many other surgers and then cancer and removal of my breasts. No breasts. How’s that for body image. I still struggle with that. (I’m working on getting that tummy fat transferred to my chest, they are waiting on me but I am scared – time off work, can’t get paid – just saved house; can’t afford the time off right now).

    I still struggle with the breast thing …. but I am at peace with my age and in my skin. Ladies quit beating yourself up. I have been around people that all they do is talk about their body weight and “fat” in every conversation and it gets old just like it might get old to YOU hearing someone complain about their kids or what have you. Better your health if you need to but quit talking all the time about your weight and love yourself. And please don’t let your “babies” here those complaints about your weight/image.

  7. Everything in balance….
    My only concern with your message is if those who ~ “any excuse will do” ~ will put off getting healthy and interpret “love your NOW body” as gospel and will add your message to their arsenal of “good intentions.”
    This is fresh on my mind because for the last month I have been visiting my morbidly obese brother in ICU. Obesity effects us all in one way or another.

    • Katherine,
      I don’t think anyone gets healthy out of self-hatred (Ok, there are always exceptions). I think if they love their bodies they will be more likely to take care of them.

  8. My favorite line was about changing my focus from what I look like to what I’m looking AT. Profound. Thank you.

  9. I love what you’ve written, it goes right to the heart of my own struggles for peace with my body. Thinking about just accepting, even loving or approving of my body, simply as it is (as opposed to how it will be two weeks from now, once X, Y or Z has been done to improve it) literally makes me want to weep. It scares me to my core, to think of letting go of the Self Loathing, and it feels impossible, and I know it’s the ONLY right thing to do. I have a man who loves me exactly as I am—loved me when I was less fit and thin, loved me when I was bulemic skinny and fragile, loves me now; somehow that doesn’t help. The struggle is within me, I know that Trust is somehow wrapped up in it, but I’m not sure how—I know it is, because even typing the word here makes me shiver and feel weepy.

    But articulating that this is the battleground: the setting aside of self-criticism and reframing how we think of our bodies, what they are meant for, and how we talk to ourselves about them…well, this is important work. Thank you.

  10. My PRs (personal records) will never garner attention or generate awards. But when I run, I am 100 percent me — my strengths and weaknesses play out like a cracked-open diary, my emotions often as raw as the chafing from my jog bra. In my ultimate moments of vulnerability, I am twice the woman I was when I thought I was meant to look pretty on the sidelines. Sweaty and smiling, breathless and beautiful: Running helps us all shine. A lesson worth passing along.

    ― Kristin Armstrong

    Glennon:
    I know you don’t mean to give exercise and running a bad name, and there are definitely people who abuse those to create a body to look like a Barbie doll (yet another bad example we allow our girls to play with, giving them expectations that they will look like this when they grow up). I wanted to share the above quote, because like you mention in your article maybe some people get things out of running that others get out of doing their passions. – “I have a friend who’s always running. Running, running, running like she’s trying to escape from something. Aging, maybe? Death? She runs for the same reasons I write, I guess.” Yes. I run for the same reasons you write. I just HAVE to. It is IN me and it HAS to come out.
    For me, I am never running from something. In fact, I found and find new life in myself every time I do. I run to keep my negative self talk at bay, to feel alive, more vulnerable, to connect with myself in ways that are not possible any other time of the week. My husband will tell you, I am a different person after a run. Happier and healthier, mentally more than anything else. There was a time (and there are still some days) that I can’t even stand the skin I am in. Just crawling to get out and curl up in someone else’s skin to make everything better. While I have learned to accept these days, not just go through the motions but let myself really feel them, I can at least lift myself by going for a run or bike ride. Not change myself, but lift myself, reorganize my brain, reprioritize that the world is not ending this moment.
    Keep spreasing love and truth Glennon, but please don’t “hate” the runners:) We’re monkees too and we have our own reasons for why we do it. For me it has never been about weight or body issues. It is for sanity and it has blessed me to become a better person, wife, mother and friend.

    • Yes, Susan- I hear you.
      I promise I wasn’t hating runners.. I compared other’s drive to run to my drive to write- and writing is the most life giving, soul saving thing I do.
      The friend I was referencing- she’s an over-exerciser-she and I spend hours talking about it because it’s a compulsion for her (yes I asked her permission before writing this piece).

      And so there are runners- and then there are compulsive over-exercisers- just like there are eaters and compulsive overeaters. Like everything on Earth- food can be used to heal or hurt and so can exercise and so can writing. That’s all I was referencing.
      When I mentioned “running away from something” – I was referring to the old psychology that everything we do stems from our fear of death.
      Anyway- the bottom line is that I respect my running sisters- the healthy ones and the compulsive ones- and I’m sorry that the tone of the paragraph came off as judgy or snarky. My bad. Intent was pure- execution poor.

      LOVE and LOVE AGAIN.
      G

    • Thank you for this comment…this jumped out at me too. I know you weren’t trying to be critical Glennon, but for someone who runs to stay healthy, it felt like a dig. I normally am over the moon about everything you write, but this felt ouchy to me. And I know you didn’t mean it that way, so it’s ok! I found out I have kidney disease a few years ago…there’s nothing I can do about it, but I figured if I could get the rest of me healthier then it would maybe help keep those kidneys in decent shape a little longer. There are days I love running, there are days it’s a drag. But I’m always, ALWAYS glad I went out and did it after I go. I have run 2 half marathons this year and let me tell you it is so empowering to be in your body while you are pushing yourself like that, and to actually finish and think WOW! I did that! I ran my second one with a friend 2 weeks ago…she’d been hurt and sick but she pushed through and I was so excited to watch her cross the finish line it brought tears to my eyes. (It’s doing that again just thinking about it!) I think that’s what running is for me…it’s sanity and time to myself, yes, but it makes me feel kind of invincible too. It makes me proud of me, and that’s not something I feel very often. But love to you if you DON’T want to run…we’re not all the same and we’re not all empowered by the same things! So it’s ok all around. :)

    • Thank you for this, Susan. Well put. That quote is beautiful.

  11. “I’m nearing 40 and that seems about time to get over believing that I’m not good enough yet.” Amen. I think I’m getting closer, but I’d like to arrive in that statement. Thank you, G.

  12. Beautifully said. Our bodies do amazing things for us. <3

  13. Beautiful……

    xoxo
    cathy

  14. I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately. You know how you look back at a photo of yourself taken 10 or 15 years ago and think “wow, I looked so great back then!” (which for me, typically means I looked thin. It’s never about my hair or my clothes or my face or even whether I look happy–I always zero in on my weight in every photo). And I think to myself “geez, did I KNOW how good I looked back then? Because if I could look like that again now, I’d be so happy!” And I know, for certain, that the girl in that photo was calling herself fat and complaining about her appearance just as much as she (me) does it today! I’m sure I didn’t think I looked good at all. I’m sure I felt too big and just not quite right. Which underscores the fact that we never appreciate where we’re at, right in the moment, regardless of how we actually look and feel. (I am and have always been a healthy weight, by the way, which only underscores how nutty this line of thinking is to begin with.)

    So what if we just stopped that? What if we just stopped finding fault with our bodies and just accepted that we will never ever again be as young as we are right in this very moment, so how about just enjoying it? My body has made and fed two glorious babies and gotten me through cancer, so yeah, I think I owe her some dang respect! Why be so filled with hate for ourselves? It makes no sense, I’ve concluded. And therefore, I’m done with it.

    What bugs me most is that on Family Circle’s website, right under your terrific essay, were four links that read: “Calorie-Busting Workout,” “Slim-Down Suppers,” “Belly Flattening Meal Plan,” and “5 Moves to Burst Your Calorie Burn.” So even if we decide WE ARE OK just as we are, and we DO NOT REQUIRE MODIFICATION, the media tells us that if we’re not constantly trying to shrink yourself to your teeniest tiniest form, you’re doing something wrong. We have to stop clicking on this stuff in order for it to go away!

  15. At 51, I have been having shy but continuous conversations with my body. Nice ones. It’s amazing to be able to turn the words around. Not just ignore the imperfections, but to look and say, “Hey there. Have a great day and thank you for working so hard for me.”
    xo
    lynn

  16. Thank God for my two girls! After having them (twins), and gaining some significant weight for the first time ever, and turning 40, all at once, I had to reevaluate things. What works for me? I tell myself the same thing I tell my children: “Look what you can do! Look at the wonderful body God has given you, and appreciate all of the places it can take you.” I work on my body to keep it in condition enough to do the things I want to do, and go the places I want to go. And that’s it. Those are the only thoughts I allow myself to have about how I look, what I do to stay healthy, or what I want my body to be. I still have to do some work, but I feel like I’m doing it for the right reasons now.

  17. I’ve been mulling around so many of these same thoughts for a while now. You’ve given me more of a vocabulary for them. Thank you for sharing. Your article in Family Circle was spot on. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being transparent!

  18. I just wrote something so similar in my own blog. We are most definitely on the same page.

  19. Wow, Glennon. I feel the same way about sex, like it’s something that happens to me. I’ve never heard anyone else talk about it before. Thank you. <3

  20. Love your article! We (our group of friends) all just turned 50. Some day it feels like the body is in full rebellion. Recently, I was told my body has too much bad cholesterol. Betrayal!!! We are going to exercise more, this body and I.
    In high school I was the wispy one-the shy one who was too tongue tied to talk with most people. Ashamed of my parents fighting and problems. Being the wispy one only meant people disliked you more.
    At 50, I love that this wonderful body has delivered four beautiful, wonderful children and nursed each one. It has changed with each pregnancy and is going to change again soon.
    I cherish the moments I can be with my husband and children-and wonder at the marvel of skin: to feel the snuggle of a child, to see into the eyes of another, warm feet to touch in the bed at night.
    We do need to love the body we came with and also realize that no matter what-most people wish something about their body would change.

  21. Great article!

    I hate this battle with myself! I am constantly at war with the part of me that is pretty happy with my size 6 self but too vain to not see my saggy behind that tells me I should be doing squats throughout my house while doing chores.

    I like how you talked of “making friends” with your body. But part of being friends with my body is making sure I’m taking care of it. I believe in friends taking care of each other.

    I don’t think I should be dedicating hours a day to looking like a vision of muscle and well-being. However, maybe I should take a walk with my friend every now and then:)

  22. Excellent.

    I was lucky enough to have a revelation in my mid 20s that constantly focusing about the size of my thighs was boring. I was never going to be a super model and I was never going to be hideous, so enough with the looks obsession. I quit running and the gym machines, which were terrible exercises for me, and did what made me feel good (walking, dancing) and ate what made me feel good (tuna, soup, chocolate). Of course, once I stopped counting calories, fat grams, carbs and started living, my body improved substantially and everyone inquired about what secret diet/exercise regime I was on.

    As a mother to daughters, I’m wondering how to deal with body image issues as the girls get older. I try to model a healthy attitude and habits and my husband has strict instructions to NEVER say anything negative about their weight or looks, but I feel like youthful looks issues are inevitable as girls change into women. I worry that the “looks don’t matter” mantra is both a lie and alienating to teen girls. Any moms of teens have it figured out?

  23. yes. the war has been raging louder in me this past year. I think, as a result, I’ve been recently, divinely ushered into a season of feeding myself…like in Eat, Pray, Love. My heart and mind are not so kind when hearty and balanced eating eludes me.

  24. I have spent the last 22 years in and out of therapy and treatment centers and psyche wards working towards some smidge of recovery with my ED. When therapists asked how I felt- I always said I felt full. Full of everything else and so I did not have room for food. I’m in therapy now with a therapist I feel like I am doing good work with and I still say that during some sessions. I feel so full of feelings I don’t have room for food. It’s clearly irrational but it’s hard for my magical mind not to connect the feelings to my physical body. What I have always felt is that I am either “too much” or “not enough”- never “just right”. My poor body. I’ve conditioned it to live in the harshest ways- deprived it, overworked it, starved it, abused it, pushed and pushed it to be and do more yet all the while trying to shrink it away. Through two pregnancies I never loved it more or took better care of it. I had two great pregnancies ending in two amazing tiny humans- Thank you precious body. If I could only work just as hard as I did and do to shrink it away, to praise it and be grateful for all it does for me to let me be here now being the mommy I love being to my kids. If I could be gentle and kind to it and appreciate it through thick and thin and be in love with the skin I am in.
    Thanks G!!! XO

  25. Glennon,
    You are such an inspiration about loving ourselves. I just wrote a blog this morning titled “I refuse to be a before picture”. It was about how I cannot make positive changes until I am truly okay with where and who I am right now. I cannot do anything positive from a place of shame. And the first “like” to my blog post was from fatspecialist. The world is not always helping us in our positivity. That’s for sure!

  26. Great article, I am sure all you bloggers know other bloggers…but I thought I would ask if you were familiar with cjane … She writes beautifully about this same topic ans you may be able to share some ideas….

  27. I’m feeling this a lot right now. Had baby #2 six months ago and my body did not rebound at all like it did the first time. Wondering if my time of enjoying my body is over permanently and am scared by that. I’m also very tall and have two little girls that are also going to be/are very tall and often wonder how to sheperd them through the teen years in a way where they won’t have to experience the meanness that I did. Being a tall woman is frightening for others, especially men, unless you fit into a tidy category that makes it ok for them – model, basketball player, etc. They’re not quite sure what to do with you when you just have the audacity to be bigger than men and take up more space than you “should”. The upside to this is that I’m gaining an incredible amount of empathy towards people that struggle with other body issues, permanent or temporary, and I’ve found myself becoming very grateful for that.

  28. I am 32. I have never willingly worn a bathing suit or shorts in the summertime, although I live where it is disturbingly hot and humid. I hate my legs. They have always been too big, too fat, and too pasty. This past summer I decided to change my thinking. So I wore shorts. I bought shorts and wore them. !!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Cow. I can wear shorts. I took my children to the lake to swim and the PUBLIC POOL!!! And you know what I noticed? I lived through it. I didn’t perish as soon as others caught sight of my white legs or my flabby upper arms. Sigh. WHAT a relief. So, I continue my journey of loving my body and loving what it can do and what it has done. :) Thank you Glennon for writing what I needed to hear!

  29. Too often (almost always) we talk about our bodies with regard to the way that we look. But I love my body for all that it can DO. I am a triathlete. I’m not going to lie-I’m in pretty good shape. But I’m not stick-thin like many of my fellow competitors. I’m not “cut” with bulging biceps or quads. But I LOVE MY BODY because it can swim me across a lake, push my bike up big hills, and run across fields and roads and beaches. What does your body DO for you everyday? Does it wake before dawn to feed your brood? Does it climb stairs a dozen times a day to put away toys, laundry, and big piles of CRAP? Does it get you through a long, boring, stupid meeting at work? Does it coach a soccer/basketball/field hockey/lacrosse/sport-that-you-never-even-played-but-all-the-dads-were-too cool-to-coach-a-girls’-sport-so-you-got-recruited team? If so, then celebrate your body for all that it does for you.

    If it’s failing to do those things, then go get in shape. Treat your body right. Eat right and exercise so that your body is strong and powerful and accomplished. Because all while those things are exhausting, we need to them. I know I WANT to do them. :-)

    • Love your response Lauren! Great perspective…

    • Yes, great response. I think it’s a mistake to take the focus off our body completely. What do you want your body to do, not look like. Also, what do you want your mind to do for you. I need to spend more time on that.

  30. I read it when it came out, and honestly the part you wrote about running was wrong-headed to me. I, too, love to run. For me, it’s not about trying to “run from something” or to be skinny. I do it because it makes me feel calm. It’s good for my physical and mental health. I get that you were talking about your own personal journey, but for me it was a mischaracterization.

    • Yes, I get that. Makes sense. I hear you, Jess. Run ON! :)

    • I felt the same way Jess. I just felt it was importing your perspective on her actions and I don’t see how that makes sense. It’s almost like back-handed shaming. It made me offended on her behalf. I don’t think she or anyone who chooses something different to do with her body should feel like she has to justify it or get approval from anyone else. Isn’t that the antithesis of promoting accepting yourself?

      Usually I think you are spot on Glenon, but on this one, I felt very disconnected from your message.

  31. I like this article very much, and I would just add that it’s important to pass on this loving attitude to our daughters, so that they don’t waste time (decades!) worrying about their weight instead of the important work they’re meant to do on this earth. Since I had my daughter 12 years ago, I have been careful to try to never talk about my weight in front of her and to talk about my body–and hers–in the context of what they can do (walk, dance, fight off germs, etc.) and not in the context of how they look in jeans or a bathing suit (etc). Let’s hope future generations don’t need to fight this battle! Thank you for the article!

  32. just watch the yoga thing, it can turn into another not good enough really quick.

  33. I think that we also need to identify our feeling better. When I was younger and in and out of therapists office all the time- one of them used to say “Glennon, how are you feeling?” And I’d often say, “I feel fat.” And she would say-“Glennon, fat is not a feeling.”

    So I wonder- what are we REALLY feeling when we’re saying we feel fat?

    • I want this answer too! I can relate to fat being a feeling. No other emotion really feels like “I feel fat” I don’t know how else to explain it. I’ve figured out what triggers so many of my behaviors but this one is a mystery to me.
      I try instead to say “I feel lazy.” I really don’t want my daughter to inherit my body image demons from me. I want her to know she is worthy and beautiful no matter what her looks are!

    • Disgusted, discouraged, unhappy, uncomfortable, frustrated, anxious, depressed, angry….

    • I know this feeling! I’m at a healthy weight but still, every now and then, I feel fat. Last month I really gave it some thought because I was beating myself up for this fat feeling I had. I tried to reason with myself by accepting that my weight hadn’t changed and my clothes still fit but yet…I couldn’t shake that feeling. At the end of this internal battle I was having, I theorized that my feeling of ‘heavierness’ was valid and here were my reasons:

      1. I’d eaten way too much over the past few days and my body kept that feeling of fullness. (Eating at restaurants is nice but it’s so easy to over eat when I’m there. Then it makes me thirsty from all the yummy salted food and I drink lots of water and that makes me feel full, too.)

      2. My period caused water retention and that dreaded bloated feeling around my waistline which caused my clothes to fit uncomfortably. Even my size 34b bra was constricting me to a very annoying level. (Grrr, I hate wearing bras.)

      3. I hadn’t exercised that week.

      The thing that bugs me most when I feel this way is the guilt. Is the guilt there to keep me in check? Maybe it’s my body’s way of alerting me to changes that I need to stay on top of? I don’t know but while fat may not be an emotional feeling, I do believe it’s a physical one that can affect any of us no matter our weight.
      It’s a sucky feeling, I’ll tell ya that!

  34. Hi
    You often touch on things that twist my heart a bit, and I don’t respond often I kind of do that voyeur thing. I watch, read and learn, but this particular subject really hit home for me as I, through years of issues have had to have the front of both my feet cut off in the last two years. Feeling critical of your appearance hits a whole new level after this, I rarely look at them and can’t really touch them. They are mine, but not a part of me, if that makes any sense, when a part of your own body has mostly been a source of pain for years there is a loathing that comes with that. We all get up every day and carry on, but the things no one knows can affect us profoundly. I can’t work any longer and balance issues cause me to have problems. And yet when I park in the Handicap spaces people look at me and can’t immediately see anything so I get frowns and comments and anger so much anger. How to get past the mean I see in people is difficult some days.

  35. I love that you’re trying yoga. I also highly recommend Nia (www.nianow.com). It’s how I began to love my body and my whole self even more. Enjoy.

  36. Thank you.

    That part in the article about sex… ai yai yai… Now that I’ve given up my youthful delusions about sex as fireworks and bliss, I don’t know what to expect or want out of sex any more. Just a little physical pleasure and a little time to feel emotionally close? I guess that sounds about right…

  37. Where are you @?

    Glennon, I thought I’d write you to know just what your @cloveranderson did for me this morning. In the hustle and bustle of getting my three boy off to school for their first morning home (mama needed a night in the psych ward and days to pull herself out of the darkest place last week), I saw your @. It said @cloveranderson you got this, sister.

    Those 4 words have been on my mind since I checked my phone when the alarm went off ay 6:45am, blaring: it’s NOT about you, sister, it’s ABOUT your 3 boys.

    But you said, I got this, sister. It’s about me on my 36th birthday, today. I got this. Thank you for the cement that begins to hold my pieces back together.

    You are telling me, forget what the last year has taken from you, your sobriety, your husband to another woman, your feeling of self-worth, your ability to get a job, your ability to get food on the table, your ability to be in pain and at peace at the same time, your ability to be a warrior, a doer, your power to be an “I’m all right for today.”

    I’m so grateful for the reminder. It’s not the past what makes us, but if we can’t let go, it breaks us. Today, on my 36th birthday, I am a survivor. All the unknowns are there so that I may someday help someone else. Just what I needed.

    @cloveranderson, you got this, sister. Yes I do. Thank you Monkee family for wrapping your arms so tightly without letting go, for time heals all wounds.

    Thanks,
    Clover

  38. My body image battle began when my mom told me I could get my ears pierced if I lost 5 pounds. I was in 5th grade. And now, 30+ years later, I still spend an obscene part of my day disliking my body. I’m so tired from it. I know I have good parts – but why does this one part overshadow it all? Thanks for talking about this G. Gives me new “food” for thought.

  39. I have found that exercise makes me feel more in control of my body. I have found that working with people with disabilities makes me appreciate my body more. How can I complain when other people cannot even bathe or toilet themselves because of their bodies’ limitations? How can I complain when my body is strong enough to bathe another person?
    I have found that speaking kindly about my body is intrinsically related to how I feel. Likewise, complaining and pointing out my imperfections makes me feel terrible. I recently sat around the table with a group of women who took turns pointing out their “flaws” and all the reasons they don’t look as good as other women. I sat there a little surprised. These were gorgeous, fit, healthy women. Many who have flat stomachs even after having multiple children! I mostly say there feeling so sad. We have to be more kind to ourselves–for both ourselves and our daughters, who watch everything we do and hear everything we say.

  40. AMEN! Preach it!

  41. I am nearing 40 and would love to make peace with my body. It is something I think about every day…then I wonder if that is unhealthy. Your thoughts about mistrust and the line, “I will do my best to avoid talking behind my body’s back” really got to me. Today, my goal is to try to love my body, in its current state and stop talking about it as if it doesn’t belong to me!

  42. “There will just be gentleness and appreciation for all we’ve been through together.” Beautiful, as always Glennon. See you tonight in “Lex Vegas”!!!

  43. I love the idea of making peace with ourselves (and each other), and loving the skin we are in. Each of us needs to determine what that means to us. Maybe it is getting into shape, or even running every day—not to meet standards or expectations set by others for what it means to be strong and healthy and beautiful—but for ourselves. To believe that we are enough, just as we are…right now.

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