You guys, I just have a hot second here, but I need your attention because I just got back from therapy and have something to report. I am going to tell you all the things I learn there, because therapy is quite expensive but if 100,000 of us can benefit, then I’ll feel like it’s a really decent investment.
So, today my smart therapist said this:
There are three different levels of Looking at and Thinking About Other People.
Level One is the way a child sees other people. Innocent and purely. Children, before they hit a certain level of age/experience don’t see faults in others. All is good.
Level Two is when we grow up a little and “wisen up.” Think teenagers. Now we can see the faults of others clearly. And so we think it’s our job to prove how smart we have become by pointing those faults out. When we are operating at Level Two- we assume that anyone who is NOT pointing out other people’s faults is naïve- or just not smart enough to see the faults. We need to educate everybody about everybody else. Many people operate this way their whole lives.
But just because people aren’t pointing out each others faults doesn’t mean they can’t see them. Most of us CAN see each other’s faults and gifts pretty clearly. But when people are operating on Level Three – they have wisened up even more. Yes- of course they see the strengths and the weaknesses in the people around them pretty clearly- just as clearly as the Level Two-ers. But they know that usually- it’s wiser and more gentle and more helpful to point out strengths and leave the weaknesses be. And they’d rather be wise, helpful and gentle than “smart.”
Level Three-ers take other people in like they take in a child’s orchestra concert. Kids concerts don’t sound all that good. They are a train wreck, really, when you break them down into their parts. Their parts are mostly missed notes and flats and sharps and kids crying and snotty noses and uncomfortable plastic chairs and maybe a splitting headache or two.
But when we refuse to break a kids’ concert down into its imperfect parts and take it in as a whole – we realize that right there- in the midst of the mess – somehow – some really beautiful and holy music is being made. We get the chills for how lovely all the imperfect parts are together.
To folks with Level Three eyes- people are like kids’ concerts. They don’t sound perfect. They are a big old collection of faults sometimes. But taken as a whole, they can give you the chills, they’re so holy.
Dear God,
Help me look at everyone who crosses my path today through Level Three Eyes.
Love, G
Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller LOVE WARRIOR — ORDER HERE
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113 Comments
This is great, Glennon. Do you know if there’s a book about this subject, or whose model it is? Thanks!
Ahhh yes!!! So Level 3 = Seeing and listening with our courageous hearts!!? 🙂
Thanks for sharing your learning and reflections to strengthen our courage to be focused on seeing and listening as a LEVEL 3, G!!
And I think it can be the hardest to see your spouse/partner through Level 3 eyes when you have been together for a long time! Something about the resentment you collect that makes you sometimes only able to see and point out the “bad” when the good is why you are together!
i loved this so much. tried commenting the other day from my phone but not sure it went through. My sweet little mama teaches a class to her local women’s prison ministry, and she read them this yesterday. much love to you Glennon. so glad you are back 🙂
Amen. 🙂
I desperately needed this golden nugget.
Oh G, I have truly missed you! Here’s to level three!
Oh Glennon!!!!
Your are SO right! (I am a music teacher…) You gave me goose bumps and a smile on my face (despite the fact that DS got up at 4:30 AGAIN and I have 7 hours of teaching before me)
THANK YOU!!!!!!
If this is what you get to learn in therapy, I think we just need to rename it “life lessons” and invite the whole world to attend.
Or, maybe, just offer it at the DMV, turning those frustratingly long lines into a magical mystical concert of beauty.
Spot on – and I love any therapy I can get, and Al-Anon too 🙂
ive heard of the 3 developmental levels but in a slightly different way. 1- is more self discovery, you are the world and you only recognize others in how they directly relate to you. 2- your world expands to a small group of interconnected people, you start to recognize others as individuals but still do not really understand a world outside yourself. 3- you recognize others have their own lives without you in it, and have their own emotions and feelings. you can see strangers as people.
i think your post goes hand in hand with this, and brings a very relatable human aspect to it, and the analogy is great 🙂 thank you.
G, have you seen this? Loved this when I read it and immediately thought you would too, so am passing it along. Not sure it has to do with your recent post, but still a great message.
“WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN WHEN WE PRAY? ” (Whether you walk this road or not, it is worth the read.)
I dreamed that I was taken on a tour of Heaven and an Angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with Angels. My Angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, “This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.”
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many Angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The Angel then said to me, “This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.”
I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many Angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one Angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. “This is the Acknowledgment Section,” my Angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed.
“How is it that there is so little work going on here?” I asked.
“So sad,” the Angel sighed. “After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments.”
“How does one acknowledge God’s blessings?” I asked.
“Simple,” the Angel answered. Just say, “Thank you, Lord.”
“What blessings should they acknowledge?” I asked.
“If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy.”
“And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.”
“If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day.”
“If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.”
“If you can attend a church/synagogue without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death, you are envied by and more blessed than three billion people in the world.”
“If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm. You’re unique to all those in doubt and despair.”
“Okay. What now? How can I start?’
Count your blessings . And if you care to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.
ATTN: Acknowledge Dept.
“Thank you Lord for all my blessing and for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people with whom I have the opportunity to share it.”
.
I love this. I do give a lot of acknowledgement to God for mine and our family’s blessings but I can do more. I will. And, I will share this message and lesson.
Thank you.
Love this. Humility, forgiveness, acceptance, grace, and gratitude. Living life through these simple reminders to myself on how to treat others each day and ask God to shine these aspects through me has changed my life. Thank you for sharing.
Wow. Thank you for posting this. That felt like a valuable investment and possible savings reduction in the amount of therapy I need…. dang, I need to move from adolescent to adopt (level 2 to level 3) on lots of my judgments.
Oh glennon~ I don’t know how you do it. You always sum up exactly how I am feeling so perfectly.
And Lord, let us look at ourselves with Level Three eyes. Beautifully imperfect and the holy music of your heart.
Amen
Thank you so much, G
Yes and Amen!
I just love this. Such a great thing to remember–and teach our kids. Simply lovely. Thanks G!
http://www.beautifullifemadeeasy.blogspot.ca
So inspiring! To add to that prayer at the end…
Also, Dear God, please help me to see myself with Level 3 eyes as well!
Some years ago, for Lent, I gave up “judging people” — not out loud, I wasn’t one to be outwardly critical, but to stop doing it in my mind and heart as well. Then I just said, hell I should have this goal ALL THE TIME, not just 40 days every year. But today, I really appreciate the way you’ve broken this down–there’s much more to do! Actively set aside our negative criticism, and more actively be present to the best we can witness in th others. I’m a work in progress, but progress I WILL.
I just met with a group of women, and now reading this, I can say that we are working to have our group support one another with Level Three Eyes. Makes absolute sense.
Thanks for giving it a name.
I love this Glennon! my mom teaches a class at the women’s prison and is reading this to them this week. I am so glad you are “back” online 🙂
That is very wise. Count me in to learning from your therapist. God bless.
I heart this. Thanks for sharing! xo
Great insights – thank you. This will help me as I go forward.
Reeling though from a case of boundaries and trust being smashed and the person who smashed them is still in their “fantasy” world thinking that their addictive behaviors are OK. I think – although I’d welcome kind-hearted comments – that there is a point where that becomes a Level 4 – Avoid Entirely because the investment is repaid in heartbreak.
Thanks for continued inspiration!
Yes, I think there is a Level 4 too. And that is showing ourselves the same compassion that we are showing those in the child’s orchestra – by knowing those to Avoid Entirely so we can protect ourselves. 🙂
As much as I share the need to protect myself, I am going to recommend you go back to level 3. My errant, absent and neglectful dad just unexpectedly passed away. I had not had a real conversation with him in 8 years. For all his faults, he loved a ton for a short time and I now wish I had just accepted his strengths and let God deal with his faults. My one comfort is that my last words to him were “I love you too” last October when we met at a wedding. But I miss him and I can’t go back. Live your life so you have no regrets.
@Emily:
I hope you don’t mind if I respond, because I have been where you are and I wanted to share my support.
Sometimes we love someone. We see they hurt. We understand how they hurt, and how they cope with hurt. We want to help. We want them to accept our caring and enjoy their company. And we want this to happen *now*, because as Billy Crystal says in “When Harry Met Sally”: “When you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
And out of that love (“But she’s my mom”), caring (“I know the *real* him”), worry (“What will happen if I’m *not* here for her?”), guilt (“I’d rather it be me than him”), grit (“I can out-tough ‘tough love'”), or fear (“What if she dies? Then how will I feel?”), we keep keepin’ on. We think up boundaries and then drive by his house every day. We go to ACOA and text before and after. We take our names off the credit card and then wire cash to her account.
Sometimes, this is Glennon’s “Level 2”. We are not critical or harsh or judgmental … we plead, we reassure, we reach out. We see the person and we see the problem and we accept it all. We welcome it, because love overcomes. It must be worth it, because we have a great capacity for love. We have boundless patience and infinite hope.
That is not “Level 3”.
Sometimes, “Level 3” means stop evaluating whether or not a person is good or bad or mean or kind or well-intentioned or consciously hurtful. It means stop trying to make someone be this or that according to what we would like this or that to be. It means looking very hard at ourselves and wondering, “What am I doing? What is my role in this relationship? How do I contribute to this situation? What is it that I am doing for myself in doing all of this for my beloved?”
Sometimes, the answers are not very nice to hear, even from ourselves.
Sometimes, “Level 3” looks a lot different than we thought it would. Sometimes it looks like the one thing we always said we’d never do. Sometimes it can look to our beloved like abandonment, to our loved ones like cruelty, and to our friends like immaturity. But once we center inside, we can sense compassion and kindness clearly from our center: “I care about you, but I am not capable of taking care *of* you. I love you, but I am not capable of loving you into loving *yourself*. I no longer judge you as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and I will never feel indifferent towards you … but I can accept that our relationship right now is not safe for me. So I release you from my expectations of what *you* should be to work on what I expect from *myself*.”
I have made this journey with people I love very much. Some that live in the next town and others that have passed on. I heard a lot of the same responses: “But you were so close … but you have more resources … but you will regret it later.”
And I found that someone does not have to be who I want them to be in order for me to love them. Someone does not have to talk to me in order for me to be open to them. And someone does not even have to still be alive in order for me to be in relationship with them.
I wish you gentleness on your journey.
Dear G,
I needed some good counseling. Thank you. The timing was just perfect because I had just been struggling with some level 2 thinking by my husband. I sent your blog to him, and he said,
“BUT – if we just always ignore the errors how will anyone ever improve? When do you call someone on it (someone you care about, someone close to you, someone you don’t want to have to witness make the same mistake again in the future) versus some stranger or one-time acquaintance where it just isn’t necessarily your place or worth your effort to correct them. That line needs to be defined somehow…
So I said, “Good point. I would be willing to bet that if a person more often points out strengths that when you point out a weakness (with the genuine intent to help someone rather than judge someone) it will be received much better.”
He agreed. And so we continue to try to make our marriage a kinder gentler place. It’s hard. But it’s stuff like this that can make it happen.
Wow. That is some good stuff right there, that you are able to have that conversation and both come out of it for the better. Keep it up, sister.
agreed. good for both of you!
Love it!
Is he/she taking new patients?! Brilliant stuff.
The sum total of all I learned in therapy is this: when people show you who they are, believe them.
Nice!!
So good to read this. I love the concert metaphor. Seen in this way, most people really are just right.
I’ve always said that God gave us girlfriends so that we didn’t have to spend so much money on therapy…but girlfriends who go to therapy AND share…BONUS!!!!!!!! Thanks G, very insightful and also my prayer for the day!
Holy Moley, I am SO GLAD you are back G!
xo
Kate
Spot on. And now I’m crying. Thanks for sharing this valuable therapy lesson 🙂
Hallelujah. Forgive me while I pray to always remember this, and SHARE this with everyone I know!
Glennon –
LOVE this today! The line especially: “And they’d rather be wise, helpful and gentle than “smart” is so true. I appreciate this perspective today!
And, I so enjoyed talking with you this morning. We are so excited to have you as our speaker on Oct. 8 at Care Begins with Me!
thank you for sharing!
My 17-year-old son went kicking and screaming to cognitive behavioral therapy because he’s got anxiety and low self-esteem, gets into obsessive thinking patterns, etc. Anyway, about two months in, he started to feel better. And now he will let little things that he learns there slip. The other day he was being nasty and irritable, and all of a sudden, he said, “Wait a minute. I’m supposed to ask myself four questions when I get like this. Am I hungry? Am I tired? I can’t remember the other two, but those two are a yes. That’s why I’m in a terrible mood! I’m going to go eat something and sit down.” Hillary Clinton was right — it does in fact take a village, and I’m glad we added the therapist lady to my son’s village. (I could’ve told him to go eat a sandwich and take a nap until I was blue in the face, by the way, and I would’ve gotten nothing.) She recommended this book called “The Feel Good Handbook,” which has helped him figure out how he thinks and how to reframe things. I highly recommend it.
I think it’s: “Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired”
🙂
Glad it’s helping!
Thank you! Lonely and angry were the two he was missing!
So glad it is helping him. Thanks for sharing your experience. I still have my sons’ teenage years way ahead in my future but I know they will be here in the blink of an eye.
This is random but your son might want to try a trial of a “Gluten Free” diet to see if it has any affect on his mood. Gluten intolerance can cause a lot of different things, including anxiety in some people from what I understand. He would probably notice a change in as little as 3 days if it was a factor so it wouldn’t take too long to try it. At first it seems hard to eat “gluten free” but there are whole “gluten free” sections of some grocery stores now and some restaurants list “gluten free” items on their menus now too. Just a thought…
Thank you! He has recently become a vegetarian, but we will look into the whole gluten-free thing. My friend has celiac disease so she has a lot of info about it. I believe diet has a real influence on our well-being, so we will give it a try. 🙂
My 17-year-old son went kicking and screaming to cognitive behavioral therapy because he’s got anxiety and low self-esteem, gets into obsessive thinking patterns, etc. Anyway, about two months in, he started to feel better. And now he will let little things that he learns there slip. The other day he was being nasty and irritable, and all of a sudden, he said, “Wait a minute. I’m supposed to ask myself four questions when I get like this. Am I hungry? Am I tired? I can’t remember the other two, but those two are a yes. That’s why I’m in a terrible mood! I’m going to go eat something and sit down.” Hillary Clinton was right — it does in fact take a village, and I’m glad we added the therapist lady to my son’s village. (I could’ve told him to go eat a sandwich and take a nap until I was blue in the face, by the way, and I would’ve gotten nothing.)
Ah, how right she is. I’m in a level two place right now, scrambling to be back to level three. Jealousy is doing that. I’m letting it.
Wow! Look at you owning it! Good for you! It won’t be long…
Read all 3 posts just now – 3 levels, Today Show and angel in a church. I’m humbled, I laughed harder than in a while, and I am crying. I missed you. Thank you for being you.
Thank you for sharing this lesson and observation with us. At times Level 3 makes its way into my life process and I am so much happier when there. At the level 2 I am not that satisfied with life. It is a lovely circle of happiness when that Level 3 is around because smiles beget smiles, tolerance begets tolerance.
I’d like to comment that I think many of the readers of this blog seem to have some kind of religion, seemingly Christianity, but I do not. However, despite my atheism I enjoy the discussions and the comments. The enlightenment, the little bits of insight gleaned from so many contributions made by so many that desire good and direction, benefit us all. Thus it occurred to me that when reading this blog I tend towards Level 3. So thank you, all, for making my day and others’ day better. May the circle of smiles continue.
Maggie, you said it perfectly. I glean from this group as well. And this community also brings me to Level 3 more often than not. Amazing, isn’t it?
love love love.
Simple explanation of a complex thing! It’s beautiful. I will be reading this to my classes of 8th graders tomorrow!!
Reminds me of this, one of my favorite movie scenes: http://youtu.be/7_WLSh7GE9I
This reminds me of the MoPs (mothers of preschoolers) theme this year, “A Beautiful Mess”.
Spot on again Glennon. You are saving me big bucks on therapy bills (not really, because I go twice a week), but she doesn’t teach me this stuff. I just sit and cry 2 hours a week.
Your comment made me chuckle because that is what I did when I was in therapy too! I needed someone to teach me stuff like this not to sit there & watch me cry! 🙂
Amen!
Thanks G! I needed to hear this today. I often feel like I parent with a lot of grace when dealing my children. That seems to be a little easier for me. I moved back to the town where my parents live and they often help out with my children. My mother and I have an ‘interesting and intense’ relationship that has never been easy for either of us. I need to get to ‘another level (3)’ with her and extend more grace towards her! Thanks. I use this in my next therapy session!
A Wake-Up Call for me! Thanks, I needed that. I’ve been very Level 2-ish, but didn’t quite understand why. (partly because I didn’t want others to think I was naive) My efforts now will be to become more Level 3-ish.
Good investment!
I should’ve added: (if I understand correctly) Level 3 would mean we still see/know the faults are there but don’t feel the need to comment on them.
First of all – brilliant therapist!
Second – brilliant writer who transposed that therapist’s words into such an identifiable analogy!
Third – I’m with the Monkee who previously asked if it was wrong to want Level 1 eyeballs again!
If we aren’t going to pay any heed to the flaws anyway, what’s the point of even noticing them? If we could all aspire to return to a child-like state of wonder for the world and all the creatures in it, wouldn’t the world be that much more amazing than it already is?
Lofty goals, I know.
Ok, I’ll “settle” for Level 3. I guess a move up OR down is better than where I currently sit… ; )-
Jackie,
I think it isn’t that we don’t pay any heed to others’ faults, at least with regard to the faults that hurt others. (If someone has an abusive partner, they need to pay heed by asking the abuser to get help and leaving if the abuse doesn’t stop.) It’s just that level 3-ers don’t point out others’ faults simply for the sake of pointing them out or belittling someone or proving their own smarts or perceived superiority.
And, I agree, it would be nice to be less aware of others’ faults, especially the insignificant ones, like leaving socks on the floor, that drive us so crazy.
Thanks for the reminder! I read a life-changing essay on this topic in my freshman year of college. It made me aware that I was then living in Level 2. Yet it is so hard to consistently live on Level 3! I wish us all luck. G, you are a great example of this at least in your blog (don’t know you in your personal life).
I agree with parts of this in theory. However, when someone around you behaves hatefully, I think you have a right to call it what it is. My husband’s sister is a hateful person. She has physically attacked both her mother and father, to the point they’ve had to call the police on her twice. She screams and curses at anyone she feels like, at any time, for any thing. She even did it to my 5 year old son. She lives at home still at the age of 26, refuses to get a job, and my in-laws pay for everything for her, including a luxury car and her credit card. She does nothing to contribute to her family or to society in general. She is especially hateful to me, but nobody, including my husband, will do anything about it. Everyone is scared of her. And my in-laws won’t kick her out because they are more concerned about their reputation in their community. The whole situation makes me sick. When I bring up things that she says and does to me, my husband actually tries to defend her and make excuses for her. He then tells me, “Well, you aren’t perfect either so you have no right to talk about her.” He cares more for her feelings than mine, because he will not ever confront her or stick up for me. I’m very strongly considering filing for divorce because I can’t take the family drama anymore. I think I deserve better. My husband can go live with his sister and probably be happier than with me and our 2 children.
I agree, but Level 3 is realizing that your SIL also has strengths, and that discussing her inappropriate behavior with her should be with her whole person in mind and not just her faults. I would, like you, protect my children from her, though, until or unless she mends her ways.
How awful for you! This is why being Level 1 in this model, while initially appealing, is so dangerous – children are often hurt by people they love, but they cannot protect themselves from the damage being done, because they cannot blame the person doing the injury, and so all the blame is stored up and internalized.
It sounds like your husband has not been able to hear your concerns so far – I will be praying for all of you in this situation for discernment, that you all might come to a better understanding of one another. And I will especially be praying that you find allies near at hand to encourage you as you find ways to protect yourself and your children from abuse.
Can you eliminate your husbands family from your life? Or at least limit them? Let their faults go, but don’t interact with them. I don’t know what to do about your immature husband…I guess I would not discuss his family with him anymore. And especially not in front of your children. I would not let them see his disregard for your feelings and his lack of loyalty to you.
Perfect, and wise, and beautiful and true.
BAM! Mike drop.
Good stuff, thank you from a mostly level 2-er 🙁
SUCH a great reminder. When we point out the faults of others, we are revealing our own immaturity. #grace
If 100,000 can benefit from your therapy, then 100,000 can also join their prayers (for level 3 eyes)…
I’m praying for the same thing, right there with ya!
<3
Can you imagine what would happen if everyone could do that, see through level 3 eyes, even just for a part of each day, or a moment…? Truly awesome. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Ahhh, good words to use. People always say that I’m “patient” and all that, and it never sounded right to what was really happening. I’m blessed that it’s one of my “gifts” to see with Level Three eyes. It’s not patience; it’s understanding. That we’re all a holy mess of beautiful imperfection living the best we can.
Oh Cindy – I LOVE the last sentence! and SO very true 🙂
So sharing this with my solid Level 2 teenager!
in the past year, i had a few friends become upset/angry with me. they said it was because my personality is too bossy/controlling/loud/outspoken/what have you (basically what they didn’t like was me trying to make plans for our group of friends and verbally promoting the options i personally liked best.)
i took all of their words into consideration and TRIED to be a more considerate person. but then i thought to myself- hey, i love me and i love the way i am. i love that i KNOW what i want and i’m not afraid to say it or advocate for it. and i said to a few of my friends- “listen friends. we’re friends because i love you DESPITE your flaws. you have flaws, i have flaws. who doesn’t?? let’s just concentrate on the good parts of each other”
this reminded me of that… only better written 🙂
thank you for reminding ME that i need to continue to love myself, and then hopefully others will be okay with me too
that was rambly. forgive my rambly-ness. i’m actually usually quite well-spoken 😉
Is it wrong that I want to have Level 1 eyes again? Lord, help me to see everyone with the eyes of a child. Amen.
Maybe tomorrow…. This morning was rough.
Oh, WOW1 This brought me close to tears…. thinking of the cacophony of a kids’ concert, and at the same time the sweet earnest effort of each one; it IS holy music. Now to go out the front door, heck, even my bedroom door, holding that in front of me as my ‘precious’, my vision….WOW. Well, I’ll try.
I needed this reminder. I think that I have been using my Level 2 Eyes too much lately. There is a woman at my church who has many, many struggles in her life that I can’t even begin to imagine dealing with and has been in and out of psychiatric care since I’ve known her. One of her joys is singing in the choir. Last Sunday she had a solo and instead of sitting and listening with my Level 3 Eyes(Ears) I was sitting there and thinking, “Why are they letting her do a solo? Don’t they know that she’s not every good?” I felt awful to be thinking that in a church of all places! A place where people are accepted for who they are just as God made them. After reading your post I know what I should have been thinking, “How wonderful is it that this church is so willing to accept people and to fill their lives with joy that they will let this perfectly imperfect woman sing out her love for God in a solo?”
I think that I need to check my glasses, it might be time for a new prescription. 😉
Awesome! Perfect! Thank you!
Thank you! Can we contribute to the shared therapy bills?
This was exactly what I needed to read today. I am going to remember my level 3s at the elementary school pick up and drop offs this year.
I swear I was just thinking the SAME EXACT THING.
Ahhh, thank you! I needed this. xo
I have a sneaking suspicion that the really good Level 3ers learn to see themselves through Level 3 eyes, too. “Love your neighbor as yourself” does require loving yourself, after all. 🙂 Welcome back, G – we’ve missed you!
That makes so much sense!!! Wow, you just took the post to a whole new level for me!!
Yes.
I think it is much easier to see others with those level threes, than it is to see ourselves that way. I think that it often takes a lot of work to change our level 2 mirror into a 3.
This is marvelous!! I will do my best to rock a pair of Level Three eyes 🙂
Have a great day, G 🙂
Um, THIS? Fabulous! Going through some tough heartbreak lately and this helps. xoxo!
This is amazing! I’m sharing it with the whole family…especially the teenager. 😉
G-
MUCH LOVE. I want to be a level 3er too!
Love,
Lyndsey
Thank you. Now I can quit my therapist, skim the good stuff from yours and use the extra money for something noble. Like a pedicure. Or crap from Target. Shopping is therapeutic, so this really is a win-win situation!
…just don’t get a crap pedicure 😉
Oh Beth, I don’t know you, but had to reply because your comment was so spot on and hilarious, thank you for the giggle this morning! Shopping IS therapeutic indeed 🙂
This reminds me an awful lot of Fowler’s stages of faith which is a lot about how we see God AND how we see others. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fowler's_stages_of_faith_development
First we just accept, then we question and feel the need to correct, then we honor the journey of others knowing that there is beauty and grace for all. A gross oversimplification but that’s the (very) general idea. 🙂
Love love love! May we all be blessed with level 3 eyes
Yes yes yes! I love this analogy. And you just keep that therapy right on rolling – I agree wholeheartedly about it being a bargain for 100000 people or so!
Good thoughts! Thanks for passing them on. And you’re right, that really does make the price of it worthwhile. I like your attitude. (See how fast I learn?) 😉
Also true of Level Three-ers:
They realize that they can not change the behaviors (flaws or otherwise) of any of the other people – only their own reactions to what comes their way. This is why it makes sense to just focus on the good stuff – you actually have the control to do THAT (and pretty much nothing else). It’s a work in progress for sure.
I think that’s level 3 1/2. 😀
Truth. I know this cognitively. Doing it, I not so good at. I might be maxing out at some occasional level three eyes. 😉
I was wondering if one could go beyond 3…I thought to myself that this might make me an over-achiever, and wasn’t really sure if that was a good quality or a flaw. And unfortunately, your silence as wise, wise people does not tell me the answer 😉 But I agree, the practice part is really hard. I need a lot of do-overs, too.
Yay! Momasterapy sessions! Thank you for sharing the wise bits. I’ll be taking notes. 🙂 Love to you and your cherubs. And thank you for coming back to us. xo J
Beautiful message. Thank you! May we all use our Level 3 eyes today and everyday!
Dear God,
Ditto,
Love, L
amen to that!
Bravo.
Music to my ears 🙂
Yay therapy. 😉
Love you.