May 172013
 

Friends, I got home from Tedx last night. Every time I’m away I get a little teeny bit of Mommy Guilt (even though I don’t believe in Mommy Guilt, dammit) and so I decide that when I return I am going to be the Best Mommy In The World. Last night I took Tish to buy a new dress for her school concert, and she chose one with a matching doll dress. A little bit ridiculous, but not TOO ridiculous for me because I was still in Best Mother In The World mode, since I’d only been home for an hour.

This is Tish with her baby on our way to school this morning. I mean look at this child. SMILING. HAIR BRUSHED. DRESSED. WITH A DOLL WHO IS ALSO  DRESSED. I mean, seriously. We were rolling. We were on a FAMILY ROLL this morning. All five us in the car, ON TIME for school. Did I mention our hair was brushed???

What comes after pride, folks?

THE FALL. That’s what comes.

In the form of a kind but stern police officer who did not even seem to NOTICE that clearly he had just pulled over THE BEST MOMMY IN THE WORLD.

We told the truth when we arrived in the attendance office. Because we might be traffic criminals, but we are HONEST criminals.

Amma wrote her own slip. I can’t do all three, EVERY TIME. I’m proud of her penmanship. It’s important to look for the good.

Happy Weekend, Monks.

Love –
G (TBMITW)

 



Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
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  134 Responses to “Tardy For the Party”

  1. This is downright…
    HIllarious!!!

    I can’t imagine being late for school and writing The Many Reasons, let alone having my poor, embarrassed kids have to fill in for my mistakes.

    That’s why my cherubs always took the bus, ’cause if it’d been up to me, another Queen of Consummate Tardiness, I might have had to resort to that very same tactic! :)

    Hmmm, I wonder if I would’ve been able to tie the cat into tardy, as I did into homework… http://thefivefacets.blogspot.com/2013/02/homework-humor.html

  2. One of my guiding phrases is “Fate bitch slaps the smug.” It happens to me constantly. (And yet, I don’t seem to learn.) The po-po is my favorite late excuse of all time.

  3. And that’s an American Girl doll I believe… No cheap treat from Super Mom! So let’s add this up, the dress, the doll with the dress, the speeding ticket, AND cost of attending TedX. Sounds like you were on a high, spending and speeding… Woohoo! Then there’s the budget hangover : ( Hate that.

  4. After a year of reading and not commenting, I feel compelled to come out of the woodwork and tell you the popo left me in stitches. As a 40 year old otherwise healthy slim trim woman who had a series of strokes 6 months ago, THIS IS EVERYTHING.

  5. As a Popo wife, I found this incredibly funny and made my husband promise to give all “mommies in a hurry to drop kids off at school” a break :)

  6. LOL! TOO funny. The po-po. I needed this today!

  7. This is HYSTERICAL !!! I emailed it to my daughter who I believe is your TWIN…

  8. I can so relate to this…the one time we manage to get everyone out the door on time…except in our house it’s usually the POOPOO not the POPO that makes us late. Can’t tell how many times I’ve been heading out the door (on time…or almost) when somebody has to go! :D

    …and yeah, the last time it was me (since we’re being honest).

  9. Hahaha I honestly didn’t catch the Po Po until the comments!

    Too cute…this is my first time here (jumped over from Skinny Seahorse).

  10. Girl…apparently, I’m tardy reading this post but I got the BEST kick out of those tardy slips. Laughed Out Loud. PoPo, indeed!

  11. She did write Po-Po quite nicely. Chase’s reaction is awesome too.
    Ps. Mom guilt (which I do believe in;) sucks!
    Keep ‘em coming, I love to laugh!

  12. Seriously – this is so funny – I literally laughed at loud at work!

  13. The PoPo. Seriously made me snort. Loudly; and I am at work. Oopsy daisy.

  14. ROTF! Sounds like me. The things my children have said as to why we are late is hilarious and always true as I have MANY faults but I can not lie.

  15. I can’t even stand this – the popo! Seriously Amma is the best.

  16. I cannot believe that The PoPo is unexcused!?!! Am indignant actually…..

  17. The Po Po! You are killing me! So funny!

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