Nov 052012
 

 

 

Last night was my re-entrance to the world. Since The News  I’ve been disconnected, living in my head – suffering, really. Suffering takes up every bit of time and energy a warrior has.

Last night I took the kids to Tish’s friend’s birthday party. This little girl is a new friend from our new school. I haven’t had time to make many grown up friends there yet, so I felt a little nervous walking in. What we stepped into was a beautiful celebration of kid-dom. There were twenty five children of all ages scampering around the backyard together while their parents talked in horseshoes. I prefer the horseshoe talking configuration to circle talking because horseshoes leave room for a wandering mama to step in.

Halfway through the party, the kids sat down to eat at an extra-long table set up under the stars. Their plates were filled with food that makes kids happy – hot dogs, apples, chips, too many Capri Suns. It was seventy degrees on a Florida night. The air was filled with smiles and giggles and I DROPPED MY HOT DOG!s and grateful, relaxed parents. I watched my girls, so thankful to be there in the moment with them, finally. So grateful to step away from my role as sufferer and figure-outer and back into my role as mama, if just for an evening. So grateful that my kids weren’t watching me to monitor my feelings –grateful they could just be kids.

In the middle of dinner, there was a moment of complete quiet – mouths were full and bellies were happy, I guess. Tish looked up from her plate and said, to no one and everyone, in her loud, helium, precious, precious voice:

MY DADDY MADE SOME BAAAAD CHOICES. THEN HE WENT AWAY TO SOMEPLACE THAT’S TEACHING HIM TO MAKE SOME BETTER CHOICES. THEN WE ALMOST GOT DIVORCED. THEN MY MOMMY WENT TO VISIT HIM FOR A WHOLE WEEK AND SHE LEARNED SOME STUFF AND FORGIVED HIM. NOW DADDY’S COMING HOME TO LIVE WITH US AGAIN.

Then she ate another bite of her hot dog. I froze. Every adult froze. We all avoided eye contact for one looooooong moment.

The kids didn’t though. All the kids were smiling at Tish. They were reacting to her relief, to her truth, to her joy. They were happy for her. Their faces seemed to say: WHOA that was almost bad! That must’ve been scary! This is GREAT, TISH! The little girl next to her tapped her on her shoulder and said, “That’s good, Tish.”

Tish smiled and said, “Yeah. It’s good.”

Chase looked like he might crawl under the table. I winked at him. Thankfully, he winked back. Amma looked confused. Her reality is that Craig is on a business trip. I winked at her. She seemed over it already. Face full of marshmallows. I nodded and squared my shoulders and smiled proudly at Tish. Then I turned to walk back into the house, suddenly quite thirsty.

On my way back inside,  I looked down at my expensive scarf, manicure, and jewelry. I’ve learned that one of my defenses is over-accessorizing. I wear necklaces and makeup like they make me bulletproof. I giggled. All this STUFF. All this stuff that I hope says, “I’m together! I’m shiny and NOT AT ALL A MESS. SO not confused!!  Look at how well this scarf matches these earrings?? I mean, not too matchy-matchy. I’m so together that I can be matchy without being TOO MATCHY MATCHY!! Obviously no problems here!”

And then I looked back at my girl and her friends. All truth. All joy. No shame in Tish’s game. No hiding.

 

“Let the little children come to me, for theirs is the kingdom of God.”

“If anyone wants to come to me, she must first make herself like a little child.”

 

I just want to be like Tish. I want to live in the Kingdom of God. Of truth, of love. I want to tap into my inner child and invite her forward to tell the truth with joy. So other folks’ inner children can come forward and react to my truth, to my joy, to my sadness, and hope. So we can really SEE each other.

No hiding behind scary grown up things we INVENT like shame and perfection.

So anyway, Monks. Here’s the thing.

LIKE WE ALL DO, MY HUBBY MADE SOME BAAAAAD CHOICES. BECAUSE HE’S BRAVE, HE TOLD ME ABOUT THEM AND THEN HE WENT AWAY TO A PLACE THAT IS TEACHING HIM SO MUCH. I DIDN’T WANT TO GO VISIT, BUT I WENT ANYWAY. I LEARNED A LOT, TOO. AND MY STILL, SMALL VOICE TOLD ME TO FORGIVE AND FIGHT. WE HAVE A WHOLE NEW LIFE TO START, BECAUSE I JUST MET MY HUSBAND. I JUST MET HIM, ALL OF HIM, FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST WEEK. WE ARE ALL OUT IN THE LIGHT NOW. AND THAT IS A GOOD PLACE TO START.

 

 

*Don’t worry. My still, small voice also suggested that I put a bad ass lawyer on speed dial juuuuuuust in case. Husband understands completely. Gentle as doves and shrewd as foxes, Warriors.

 

 

I love you, Monkees. That’s all for today.

G



Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
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  355 Responses to “KID-DOM”

  1. Absolutely. Amazing. Authenticity. Thank you.

  2. […] can’t remember to get dressed in the morning, or to over-accessorize to show solidarity with people who over-dress to compensate for insecurity. I ended up settling on getting dressed in what felt comfortable to me in solidarity […]

  3. A truly strong warrior is one who can forgive when forgiveness seems impossible. GBY!

  4. G you are a super strong woman. I so appreciate your honesty. There are so many out there that are reading these words and learning….

    Tara

  5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIqt1tjNJ-M
    For all those who are enduring a winter in a relationship. G, I thought of this song when reading one of your recent posts. Even though you are now in FL, winter has come… Pray for spring, sing for spring to come. I am singing too – for me and for you.

  6. I know you have done a lot of hard things over the past few weeks, but for me, the proud smile to Tish ranks number one. For you, the “someday” in “This will make a good story someday” is now.

  7. […] Kid-Dom (Momastery, another woman who chose to forgive! Praise the Lord) […]

  8. Thank God we can do BAAADDD things and HE is big enough to get us through them and a little closer to Him. No matter what happens, I know that God is going to amaze you with His love for you and Craig throughout it. I am so glad to know you are hanging on to Him, and I know that HE will get you where you need to be and be there each step of the way.

  9. I discovered your blog about a year ago and just loved, loved, loved you and the way that you write so honestly and openly and so often the way I feel inside. Then I started reading things that I didn’t really like and didn’t agree with at all and thought I needed to take a break from constantly checking for new words of encouragement from you. I even “unliked” you on Facebook so I wouldn’t be tempted to read. Well, I still don’t agree with everything you say, but I have this love for you and your family in my heart, so strange since you are a stranger. I wept for you when I read that your husband told you “the news” and I cried tears of joy for you today as I read that you are choosing forgiveness. (I guess that “unliking” business couldn’t stop me!) ;) God bless you and your journey to forgiveness.

  10. I know things aren’t all worked out with hubs but I am REALLY relieved to hear that there’s hope. I’ve been thinking of you and your family a lot. Love them all. And yes, I want to be like Tish! I really really do. Life hurts too much when I’m trying to be perfect.

    xo
    cortnie

  11. Walk softly, and carry a big stick.
    Hugs to you and yours,
    Caryl

  12. I have read some of your blogs and have never commented until now. Just one word, LOVE! I love your honesty, openness and realness. And I love that a moment that a parent might dread was just a little girl being real and transparent. Thanks for sharing that and teaching me more about being just me and nothing else. Carry on Warrior (and Friend to so many)!

  13. I have five things to say to the Beloved.

    First, when I was apart from you this world did not exist.
    Second, whatever I was wanting was always you.
    Third, why did I learn to count to three?
    Fourth, my cornfield is burning.

    Five–five stands for wisdom and confusion.
    Is weeping speech?
    What shall I do with all this love?

    So she speaks, and everyone around her cries with her,
    laughing crazily, moaning at the spreading union
    of lover and Beloved.

    This is true religion!
    All others are torn away bandages beside it.
    This is slavery and mastery,
    dancing together.

    I know these dancers. Day and night
    I sing their songs in this phenomenal cage.

    My soul, don’t try to answer yet.
    Find a friend and hide.

    But what can be hidden? Love is always
    lifting its head out from under the covers:
    “Here I am!”

  14. Glennon, keep being brave. Thank you for writing this way.

  15. You are so much bigger than this, but I just had to nominate you for a One Lovely Blog Award :)

  16. Hi Sweet Friend,

    Well said, by a child who does not know shame, guilt and pride like us adults. It’s Nice to see it’s no big deal from all her friends. Kids forgive easily. We can learn from them.
    Same story for me but it was nice to go thru it with you.

    I giggled and felt JOY for such insight, it came from you.

    Love Nicole

  17. That still small voice…she’s the bomb! I’m glad you are a good listener…To Tish and to your voice and to your husband. I’m also glad for speed dial…you deserve a back up plan.

    xoxo

  18. Holding space and cheering through my tears for your brave, smart, little Tish and her ability to see right through it all.

    Love to you all…luck to you both.

  19. Still holding space for you Glennon.

    http://youtu.be/9h2QC3nM-Ec

  20. My sister reads your blog regularly and reminded me about it, thank you for your transparency and the light that God has given you! You are a blessing Glennen. Your story provides HOPE that my marriage will work itself out and my husband has to gone somewhere to learn about himself and WILL return and we will be happy once again. I ask your monkees to pray for us as well. Blessings to you.

  21. You did it. You taught openness and transparency. Oh, bless you for winking at your kids. Bless you for not hiding. Bless you for reminding us to be like children, and NOT to teach them to be like us.

  22. Rock on warrior. That still, small voice is the BOMB! Follow it and hold your head high cause you could make all the plans in the world, accessorize to perfection ( and I mean in the most artistically disheveled sophistication ) and end up in the most unplanned places…. But that voice takes you to places that you’d never be audacious enough to dream of going. And this is the kicker – other people don’t hear your still, small voice. Only you do. The people that think you’re nuts don’t listen to their voice so shouldn’t be consulted in such a matter.

  23. Good for you, G! You are an amazing women :-) My hubs has made some baaaad choices (probably different from Craig’s though, whatever they may be) too, in the past few years, and I’ve sucked it up and stood by him. Our family as a whole is a constant work in progress, but we ARE still working on it and I believe….on the mend. We will Carry On, Warrior!! xoxo

  24. Two years ago my husband made some baaaaad choices. I chose to forgive, and have since met the man he really is. I couldn’t be happier. And reading that you and Craig are meeting eachother all over again and working on your family warms my heart! I pray you never look back and enjoy this new journey as much as my husband and I are :)

  25. You are a phenomenal woman. Your family is phenomenal, too. I am so thankful that you are on this planet, doing what you do. Bless you.

  26. I did a victory dance to I am warrior last night for you!! A good move busting is refreshing. I hope you’re filled with hope and joy in the little things and big as you navigate this new journey!

  27. Tosh is a wise love!

  28. Tish is a little G in the making…. love that little firecracker! I too am taking my lead from that little girl. Glad she was your light at that party, G. So glad hope and faith found a way to sneak back into your life.

    XOXO

  29. “Because of the Lord’s GREAT LOVE we are not consumed, for his compassions NEVER fail. They are new EVERY morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lam 3:22-23

  30. G,

    Reading this made me cry happy tears for you and your family. I know how hard this has been on you. Not only fearful of your home being torn apart, but the thought of having to “share” your children, is enough to make anyone crazy.

    I went through this a couple years ago with my husband, although not the same exact situation, but our marriage had fallen apart. And it was BAD. We had actually gotten to the point where we had an arranged custody agreement for our daughter and had filed for divorce.

    But I knew and he knew, that this was not the way we saw our life panning out. We didn’t want to lose our family, we didn’t want to see our daughter 3 days a week, every other weekend and every other holiday. The thought of it literally drove us both to our knees. So finally we decided to drop the divorce, and give it another try.

    After 2 years of long talks, and very honest conversations, fights and tears, we have gotten back to a place of love. And I never, ever, thought we would be back here. We just needed to re-discover our love again. Remember what mattered and why we started this journey together in the first place.

    In may, we will be welcoming our 2nd child into this family…and I couldn’t be more thankful.

    So proud of you for making the effort for yourself and your family. It is easier to give up in times of despair, but you are strong, you are a warrior. And I know Craig has made mistakes, we all do. But remember that through honesty, you will find trust again. And you will get back to that “normal” place…and it will feel like a stronger “normal” than you could ever imagine.

    Lots of love and prayers coming your way.

    xoxo

    • What a brutiful story ! Thank you for sharing, it certainly gives hope to those who are going through similar situations.

    • Thank you sharing, Brooke. I agree with French Caro. Inspirational and “brutiful” story!

      • Thank you both for the kind words. So glad to share my story and possibly give hope to others who are facing hard times. It will get better, one day at a time.

        xo

  31. About 12 years ago I was the one who made some very baaaaad choices and had to give THE NEWS to my husband. He hated me at first. He almost left me. We cried. We fought. We spent months not knowing where we were going or if it would work. But he stayed. He stayed with me through it all. Today, we have a good marriage, and a 3 year old little boy who is the light of our lives, who would not be here today if he had left. Sometimes you can work through those bad choices and come out a better, stronger version of yourself. God knew what He was doing in my life and only now can I look back and see why. Hang in there Glennon :)

  32. This post made me want to stand up and cheer! Sending love and strength your way…..

  33. Just reading the end of your post makes me cry. Way to go at forgiving and fighting for your marriage.

  34. I vote for this!

  35. I’m new here, so new I haven’t figured out completely what a monkey is! :)
    I found you through your post on seizing the moment with parenting which brought me to tears and was so validating. You are willing to be vulnerable and in doing so you make us see that it is in our vulnerability that together we are all strong.

    I don’t know you and I don’t know, or need to know, what you are facing in your marriage. I want to thank you for being vulnerable and honest about your willingness to stay and fight for your marriage even in the face of a baaad thing. Thank you for showing that strength and self respect can coexist with trying to work through anything faced in a marriage IF both are willing to come into the light, be honest and do the work. Regardless of the outcome, you will be able to hold your head up high regarding how you faced this, I pray that your efforts are rewarded. Thanks for being an example for all of us to live in the light.

  36. So glad you are fighting and forgiving. Marriage is hard and not for wimps. Doing it God’s way is hard – we are not prone to dying to our human nature day in and day out. But, oh, the opportunity to experience His grace, glory and flat-out REDEMPTION when we choose to do our best to do it His way. Hoping also that your story includes new friends who rejoiced in the moment with you and celebrated truth and joy. You deserve the same honest, unmasked support Tish received.

  37. G, don’t be surprised if you change your mind about what you think is the way to go, oh, at least two thousand times. A day. Two years after my “news” (and separation which has included 12 steps programs for both my husband and I in the interim,) I still don’t know for certain. I was told early on I didn’t have to make a decision right then. I just kept doing the next right thing, as best as I could figure out what that was. However this pans out, my husband and I have become good friends and coparents again. Whether we can restore our intimacy is yet to be known. Even if total reconciliation is not possible in the end, our willingness to work, to wait, to forgive, to heal, will mean our daughters will continue to have two imperfect parents that love them, love each other and truly desire what is best for our family.

    • thank you. right there with you, sister. in our society, being the woman who stays seems so much smaller than the one who leaves, as if leaving is the harder and more liberating choice. in reality, or at least in my own reality, being the woman who stayed has turned out to me so much harder. and yet, i am more whole, more strong, more WARRIOR woman than ever before in my life. because confronting what brings us to these crossroads unlocks and enables growth and tills the soil of our souls for the blooms that need our light to bloom. flowers don’t flourish in caves of darkness and pits of despair. i thank the stars each and every day that i chose to grow instead of the alternative, and thank YOU ALL for sharing your stories that allow me to know that i am not alone, that our lady glennon is not alone, and that being a woman in this ocean of screwed-up humanity is OK, any way you choose to do it. much love, ladies.

    • Just “doing the next right thing” – what an awesome concept!

  38. I’m a new reader and a first time commenter (if that is such a word) but my husband too has done some BAAAADDD things. Things I knew I could never forget and therefore wondered if I could ever forgive. It’s a difficult and lonely place to be, stuck in limbo not knowing what is best to do. Like you, I chose to stay. Staying is not easy…in many ways I think it’s harder than leaving. But in staying I learned a strength within myself that I didn’t know I had. I learned to forgive (but not forget. I’m will NEVER get caught unawares again.) Be strong. Stand firm in who you are. And let your children see the flawed, glorious, proud woman that you are….that we all are. Much love to you and your family.

  39. WOW…amazing story! Bless all of you as you begin this new life! I’m sure it will be all worth it!!!

  40. You once said long ago that you quit trying to be “a better parent” and decided to just be a better person. This advice is so simple and it seems so obvious … and yet so many of us (myself included) try to teach one thing to our kids and then go and DO something else. This post is so beautiful to me because it really highlights what a truly amazing, glowing, lovely human being you are… even when you are in the depths of darkness. And how your children are just soaking it all in. Yeah, this stuff is tough and heavy for little ones. But LIFE IS HARD. And they are learning so much at such a young age about how to navigate it all by watching you. Your kids are truly blessed. Thank you for sharing your story – like your children, I learn so much by “watching” you. Holding space for you and your loved ones as you walk the bumpy road ahead together…

  41. Thanks so much for sharing that post. I LOVE that you view this as starting over. I have been there. It is a starting over, accepting and figuring out how to make things better. I wish peace and joy for for you both. There is power in forgiveness. But, I love that you know forgiveness is not always forgetting (lawyer on speed dial).

  42. “What defines us is how we rise after falling”-
    -not sure who wrote that but I love it.
    March on, Glennon …. XX

  43. This is a beautiful post. Your honesty is beautiful and healing. Thank you.

  44. Love IS big enough to accept each other as humans, with faults, with mistakes, with our humanity. You are so brave for loving Craig and facing your new reality head on! We are all behind you! Carry on, Warrior. XOOX

  45. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with us here, Glennon. It really means so much. I hope you can sort through all the negative, all the confusion, and just find peace. That’s all I want for you, is to just find peace. It’s already yours, but you know that. :)
    Love you from afar.
    Jess

  46. Yaaaaaaaaayyyyy! We’ve got your back.

  47. Forgiving someone is one of the bravest things you can do. Having that divorce lawyer on speed dial is the smartest ;-) Love you Glennon, you ARE a WARRIOR!

    • Forgiving someone for cheating on you through an entire marriage? Terrified of being alone it seems. If it wasn’t a one time thing have no doubt he will cheat again with that kind of track record.

      • We don’t actually know that he was cheating. There are lots of things that THE NEWS could be.

        • You’re kidding right? Are you that gullible? And if it is anything else (drugs, etc.) is that any better?

          • Dear Huh?,

            Welcome to Momastery. I realize you may be a new Monkee and not had the opportunity to see how we tend to do things around here. This is a place to have feelings, ask questions, disagree and have opinions, but we all try really, really hard to be gentle with each other as we’re doing this. Name calling (“are you really that gullible?”) is not really how we roll when we disagree with each other in this space. I realize it may have come across harsher than you meant in the vacuum that is the internet but I needed to say something.

            -A fellow Monkee

      • I don’t think it matters what “The News” is. It doesn’t matter if he was cheating or drinking or drugging or gambling- the root is the same. Something was so broken and hurt that it had to be kept a secret and the result was doing stupid stuff that hurt other people. I think the important part is the truth-telling, not what “The News” was. Until we get our secrets out of these deep, dark places that keep us trapped, we can’t fully connect to each other. That’s what G is doing here at Momastery and it sounds like Craig is finally taking notes from G on how to live like a Monkee.

        I don’t think choosing to stay means automatically means someone is terrified of being alone. Personally I think it’s far more terrifying to considering figuring out how to rebuild a marriage after it’s been broken down than to walk away.

        It looks like G is handling this the way she handles everything else- with her heart and her brains. Maybe she’ll stay or maybe she’ll go but I’m pretty dang sure she’s not going to do or not do something just because she’s afraid. She’s one of the bravest women I know…

      • I perceived “The News” as more of an addiction-type issue. If it can be rehabilitated, and they both want to try to move forward together, good for them. There is a LOT of information we don’t know here, and singling Glennon out as needy and weak is unfair. Her decision might not have been your decision in the same scenario, and that is perfectly fine, but your characterization is unwarranted. Monkees disagree without being disagreeable.

  48. I once listened to my sweet 5 year old explain to her friend that “we’re divorced”. After a matter of fact simple explanation her friend replied “I sure hope your mom gets marriage so you can have some brothers and sisters”. Ah the innocence!

  49. Not sure it’s appropriate, but I want to scream YAY! Yay for fighting and trying! You have to be “in it to win it” and you won’t know unless you try!!! So hard but so worth it! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  50. Thanks, Glennon. Thanks for proving that life, life is not only amazing and not-always-together and brutiful for everyone else, but that it is also for you. For me. For all of us. WE are the common thread in this experience we are all having called Living. And the only ones who keep us on the outside of this collective, that is us as well.

    My daughter teaches me everyday how much I should love myself. How much I should accept myself. And also, not to be so hard on myself. Baby steps, right? God gives us nothing if not lessons. In everything around us.

    Thank you for also inspiring me to believe in myself, whatever and whoever I turn out to be.

  51. I’ve been writing this comment for hours– pouring my heart out, offering advice you haven’t asked for and sharing my own experiences, but I’ve decided to send something different. I think you have received a lot of support from the other monkees, praising you for your grace and ability to look for the light, even in the darkest of situations. You are doing hard things and changing your perspective. All of this is amazing and admirable.

    I want to remind you, though, that while you are rising above, working and doing hard things, your monkees are right here, supporting and loving you 100%, all the while at the ready to unleash our inner warriors and punch the nose of anyone who hurts you. (I’m sure some of us know how to punch..? :))

    Do your thing, we’ll back you up.

  52. Beautifully written and heartfelt as always. xoxo to you, your babies and your husband Love is a powerful force. May it continue to conquer…

  53. THEN WE ALMOST GOT DIVORCED.

    This kicked me right in the stomach. Blessings to all wading these waters with little ones.

  54. Oh this is so wonderful to read. Your life means so much to me. Thank you for living it and writing about it.

  55. You did a great job explaining juuuust as much as Tish could handle, and she shared it with her friends. Good job mama…now your precious ones can begin to heal and still respect their daddy. You go Glennon!

  56. dear Glennon
    I for one am glad to have you back here in this space: I’ve been thinking about you x
    And I think I rather love Miss Tishy…my youngest has a precious loud voice just like hers xxx to you all

  57. How brutiful it all is, isn’t it?
    Love, forgivenenss, pain, hurt, anger….glad you are feeling it, facing it.
    Tish is a rock star!!

  58. Steel Magnolias have got nothin’ on you, Glennon. I had the News myself once upon a time, and even through all that raw and jagged hurt I could hear that little voice telling me to think about how badly I would want to be forgiven if I had been the one to make that bad choice. Love is sometimes painful, but Love is BIG. Carry on, and keep your foxlike persona on standby. Oh, and one other thing – Tishy is my hero for the day. She ROCKS.

  59. Kids just lay it all right out there don’t they! Maybe God uses them to let others know when we need a little help. I am praying for you, always, always. God will hold your hand on the road ahead. When you stumble hold him back.

  60. Glennon,
    You are just right, sister, just right.
    Love,
    Shannon

  61. Seems some of your readers know what “the news” means. I do not. Your posts suggest something terrible. You said at one point that this was your husband’s story to tell, but you have already told it–either by saying too much or by saying too little, depending on your point of view. Airing his damage blog-wise (necessitating a bad-ass lawyer on speed-dial) but not naming it seems passive-aggressive. He’s been outed by you but reader imagination is assigning him his sin. You enjoy a massive audience that now knows, along with your small children, that your husband made “bad choices”. I cannot imagine what this feels like to him. Maybe guilt first. Maybe not? But then blog-wide humiliation. It’s hard for me to understand what is really going on here.

    I hope that you and your family can find healing amidst the hoopla.

    • I wholeheartedly agree.

    • I don’t think it matters if we know exactly what “The News” is. The point of Momastery (to me anyway) is getting to truth-tell without hurting people intentionally. Kinda like Tish did.

      Airing the details of what Craig is struggling with would be hurtful. G talking about her own hurt without all the juicy little details of other’s people’s sins for us to gobble up seems pretty consistent with what she’s been doing all along. I’m pretty sure Craig and G have had LONG conversations about what it means to live in the public eye and what the boundaries are. Seems like she’s been pretty careful to me.

      Part of why I think most of us read this blog and are Monkees is that we want to be real and we want to be with others who want to be real. That is the WHOLE point of Momastery. The ambulance-chaser in me wants the details, but they’re not really necessary for me to continue to be a Monkee and to support G and all the other women who have gotten “The News”, whatever it may be.

      -J

      • Agree! Whatever shape “The News” took, it means the same thing ultimately for a relationship. (in case anyone needs it spelled out, this equals, heartbreak, loss of trust, devastation) I don’t need to know what it was … I rec’d my own version at one point and wish I’d dealt with it with as much bravery and grace as G has shown.

      • I did not write this in order to find out about the shape of “the news” or to satisfy my own curiosity. That was not my point. I was wondering about assigning blame in a public forum and the regret and humiliation that must be played out similarly in the aftermath. I understand the support from community for Glennon specifically and for all women so hurt but I also see a larger story playing out here.

        • Annie,

          Not sure if you saw G’s response below. She is extremely careful with other people’s feelings, including those of people who have hurt her. Not sure how long you have been a reader but if you go back over the last 3 years or so you will see how she handles conflict and hurt feelings. Always with integrity as long as I have known her. I can appreciate your concern for Craig. i guess my point is to know Momastery and to know G is to know that she wouldn’t humiliate another person knowingly, especially in this forum.

    • I don’t know what The News is either, but since Glennon has maintained respect for Craig despite the Terrible, I think her readers are following suit. It seems quite clear that she took her time deciding what to share, and how. It also seems obvious that she hasn’t shared anything out of spite.

      I think she is incredibly brave for trusting such a broad audience with such intimate stuff, because she is showing us all that we are not alone in our struggles the way we so often think that we are. I’m extremely grateful for her courage, and I think the line about a lawyer on speed dial was terribly important because several spouses needed to hear that it is not wrong to have an escape route, if that’s where your marriage is right now.

    • Whatever The News is, it’s not that I don’t care : it is just not my business ! Glennon shares what she wants to share, and noone is allowed to ask for “more ! more ! I want to know !” This is no TV show, this is real life, with real people feeling real pain, so we should show some respect…

    • Annie-
      Craig and I both agreed that living out loud is the way we feel called to serve each other and the world.
      Craig reads every post – and as a matter of fact, he’s excited to discuss this further- to help more people come out into the light.

      Trust me- we have thought this through. We are comfortable, and even proud, of our life decisions.

      Glennon

      • That is exactly what our world and our healing needs! Thank you! As a fellow receiver of The News of our own variety, the hiding and shame and fear are a tremendous burden that must be shed if we are to travel light into The Light!

    • Well said. I wonder about these bloggers begging for attention.

      • She’s not begging for attention. She’s inviting us into a space to be real. If that does not appeal to you, don’t read it.

  62. Glennon, I love you. You are truly iron wrapped in velvet. Tough on the inside and soft and furry on the outside and I admire that!

  63. Wow. I don’t ever comment (although I read often!), but just wanted to say that I think you are so brave and so strong. And I just felt like I needed to say that to you today. : )

  64. Glennon,

    I am blown away by your ability to do hard things and listen to that still small voice in all situations. I’m really trying to do the same! Thanks for being such an amazing example!

  65. So proud of you! What an inspiration you are. Thank you for continuing to share your life and your gifts with us. We’re all pulling and praying for you. Infinite hugs…

  66. That’s the Glennon we’ve all come to know and love. Way to go. I learned from you that We Belong To Each Other and this is a perfect example. I’m proud of you.

  67. I wish my Dad had the balls years ago to go away to a place to get things right. Marriage is worth fighting for. Thank you!

  68. I am SOOOOOOOO proud of you!!!!!!
    Lindsey

  69. My friend and fellow blogger passed away suddenly last week and left behind and adoring husband and twelve amazing children. On her blog mommylife.net her husband Trip said “In obedience we constantly bit off more than we could chew and then had to chew it. Through it all, Our Father always provided.” She was a warrior too.

  70. Dear Glennon, hello from Singapore! I saw this post on a blog I follow and it reminded me of you and how you encourage us to be Real. As a child I always thought the story of the Velveteen rabbit was very sad; but I’m thinking I should re-read it now and see if it looks different after all these years! Funny how so many children’s stories seem to be for very wise children! …or maybe it isn’t so strange.

    http://blog.kitesong.sg/2012/11/real.html

  71. Dear G, It is silly but we just love you so much even though we’ve never met you, love you for being able to tell the truth and we know just how true that truth is, when you get into layers of detail like the not too matchy scarf and how it reassures – or pretends to, and as long as we can still pretend, we are together … I think I made that last part up, but I was thinking of you the whole time (as they say) …

    As I was saying, it is silly but I guess every one of us was holding our breath, wondering, maybe hoping … mostly hoping that what broke could become whole again, but at the same time strongly on your side and let me say it is a reflection of our unshakeable loyalty to you that we kept ourselves from saying so many things that we might have wanted to say regarding someone whom you entreated us not to bash. That we were obedient reflects no great reserve of compassion or understanding but solely our loyalty to you.

    And I sincerely am happy that we can be on your side without taking sides, that you are both on the same side, and all your kids too … but …

    in the spirit of honesty, I must say that my first thought was, whoa that was fast.

    Not that I want your family to suffer any longer, not that I doubt you, just …

    well can I say it now … HOW DARE HE ???

    I’ve held it back all this time, now I will just come out and say that it just infuriates me. Makes me sick, makes me fume. And I have heard this story too many times before.

    Do you know what made me saddest of all – the saddest most disillusioning part was that we all knew what you meant by “the news” – even though I have never heard used to mean that before, never gotten the news myself, and from a quick internet search, don’t see it noted as a euphemism. How did I immediately know what you meant? How did we all know? Please enlighten me if you know the answer to this question.

    Well I am glad your clear-thinking, straight-talking little girl has a bigger heart than I do. All the best.

    • You knew what she meant? G never said what “the News” was … and it could be several things (and really what it is doesn’t matter in the sense that, in the end, they all mean the same thing).

      I think it’s a credit to G that Craig even felt that he was able to share it with her (I mean, at her most basic level of living, *this place* has yielded fruit). She has called Craig “brave” and I fully agree. He knew he was putting his life on the line… his family. It takes guts to own up to it and attempt to set it straight, with no assurance that you’ll get your loved ones back into your life.

    • I think “The News”, what ever it was, is basically what everyone has understand :

      “There was a lie I did’nt know anything about. He has lied to me and I did’nt see anything. Something really ugly was hidden there just under my nose and I just haven’t seen anything at all. I’ve been fooled by the one who is supposed to love me more than anyone else. Does he really or is he just telling me so ? How can I ever trust him again ? Do I want to ?”

      Sooo… what the News exactly was is not so important in my eyes. It does’nt matter to me. What does matter is the pain, the suffering, the forgiveness, the understanding, the hope of recovery. The truth of feelings we all have felt one day or another. The sharing. Because we all are one, we’re all the same person.

      Thank you Glennon for being so true.

  72. i am so glad you are giving chase another chance. he was too good to be true, chase – model super husband super dad. human beings are warriors, not super heroes. i am glad that chase has a place now where he can be human. i do not know what the news was, and im so sorry you were hurt, but i am so glad that you both are in a place where chase be honest with you. i hope that you can now take a place of warrior next to chase and that you can be there for him, fighting together. i think of you often when i am feeling too vulnerable to be with anyone, even myself, but i try hard to accept it and get myself out of it. there is a difference btwn leaning on someone and using him as a crutch. i hope you can both lean on each other and grow and heal together. you both seem like amazing people. love to you all

    • Her husbands name is Craig. Chase is her son. Craig is her husband.

      • of course, so sorry, it actually just hit me (i was writing cr to write crappy pictures and i got craigslist and i said uh oh what did i write?)and i was coming here to change it. (btw im guilty of mixing up my own kids names too, so its nothing persona, more of a sidetracked memory type thing. )

  73. Glennon, Out of the mouth of babes…..I wish we could all be as honest as children! You are raising one smart little girl. I am sure she takes after her mama. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers as you navigate this next journey. I know it won’t always be easy, but it is always worth trying for yourselves and for your kids. You have a lot of people praying for you, girl.

    Blessings,
    Heather G

  74. Jesus says, from the throne of heaven, “Behold, I am making all things new.”

  75. G,
    I do hope some sweet friend-to-be locked eyes with you and smiled. And showed you she understood or at least cared enough to let you know, somehow, that you were welcome in that place. Not in spite of what Tish said, but because of it. We are all doing hard things. Why not do them together?

    Thank you for your brutiful honesty. I am praying for you!
    xo

  76. oh glennon! You are doing what Tish did….I mean not in the awkward-silent-party-moment way that Tish did…but you do, here at momastery the very thing that tish did. You share your truth in a way that connects to the truth of so many others. And she felt she could do it cause her mama showed her the way. If you can continue to be inspired to be like tish, and she you…the world really will change. It doesnt surprise me one bit that she is a brave truth-teller…you are teaching her that. Well done, mama.

  77. So so so very happy to hear that you guys are trying – for you and for the kids and for the marriage. Craig was brave enough to reveal everything – I’m glad you are giving him ONE more chance. He’s got his work cut out for him, that’s for sure – but I think you and the kids are worth it – and I think he probably does to. Praying for all of you. For healing, and peace, and love, and understanding, and forgiveness. For all of that and more. Because you DESERVE it, Glennon. And so do those cutie Mini Melts!

  78. I love you so much.

  79. What you think you can’t handle, might actually be God handing you a gift. ~Ann Voskamp
    God asks us to give thanks in everything, because this is the way you live through anything. ~Ann Voskamp

  80. @Oprah: “The will of God will not take you where the Grace of God can’t protect you” this sustained me on many a hard day. #lifeclass

    G- I read this yesterday and thought of you, and me and really, all the monkees. In the past 8 months, you and this space you have created here has been a tremendous gift to me. It has been a very real, very important part of the Grace that I experienced, and continue to experience, during my darkest days. I am forever in your debt and in your corner. I pray that you find the Grace needed to carry you forward – thru forgiveness to whatever lies ahead. If you are having trouble, I’ll be happy to remind you of a wonderful, amazing, truth-filled, warrior-honored, monkee-lovin’ place you can find it….

  81. Glennon…I’m filled with joy for you. The road ahead will be challenging, I’m sure…but I’m delighted you are taking the steps to begin it.

    Thank you for sharing your story. You’ll never know how much it means…how many ripples are radiating out in connection and understanding.

  82. Glennon, I am so proud of you for forgiving whatever this News was that you now have to live with. Praise God that He gave you the strength to do that!

  83. sister on glennon and warrior tish! my prayers and love continue with you. this came on the radio today and i blasted it thinking of your strength and OUR strength as monkees. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDuWFYOTyqA

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