On our family therapist’s wall:
Sweet, Sweet, Monkees. Please forgive the recent Momastery silence. A Monk wrote to me last night and said, “What’s going on, G? Are you too busy saving the world to write to us?”
I smiled – but just a little. Actually, I’m in Warrior Mode over here. I’m dealing with some marriage stuff. Saving the world is easy, but loving one person – one person who’s as broken and imperfect as you are- THAT is the hard stuff. I can’t get into the details about our “stuff” like I could if I had that superpower I want so badly- the one that would let me PUULLLLLL you through the computer and onto my couch for some tea followed by a 45,000-women-strong drum circle and then a little breathing and scream therapy – but I did want to let you know that I’m going through some stuff. I’m not too busy for you – quite the opposite. Whenever I hit a bump in life’s twisty road it makes me feel SO STRONGLY connected to all of you. So GRATEFUL for you. For this community of women, because even though I can’t have you on my couch, I have you. I can feel it. I know that you face the same things I do, so I don’t feel alone. I love you so MUCH for that. I love women. What is more powerful than a group of women who really love each other? I can’t think of anything.
Except maybe Bobby’s bottom. This happened to us at Target last night. Sorry it’s sideways. Life is sideways.
When I called Sister and told her I was feeling sad, she hopped on a flight the next morning. We stayed home for a few days and gathered ourselves. Then we went to Target. Target is where I go when I don’t know where else to go. Someone once said that money can’t buy happiness, but I don’t think that person got it completely right. I agree that money can’t buy LASTING happiness- but jeez, whatever. My expectations aren’t that high. I’ll take some FLEETING HAPPINESS anytime. And Target can handle that.
So we bought a bunch of new stuff that I can’t really afford. When one is sad, one shouldn’t worry too much about the budget. (SHUT UP, SUZE ORMAN, GOD! YOU CAN’T UNDERSTAND THE NEED FOR RETAIL THERAPY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT MARRIED!!) **
It was COLOR that I needed from Target. I felt like I needed some color.
And Halloween cheer. If one can’t FEEL cheer, one can BUY cheer. One can buy cheer for, like, $4. See? Or, as is proven by new BFF Kelle Hampton, one can MAKE cheer in crafty ways. I am the BUYING CHEER type.
After the cheer buying and the poop heard round the world- Sister and I were on our way out. And THEN SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENED. THIS. I saw this. It’s a BIKE. And there was a tag on it that said “ROLL ME TO THE REGISTER.” And I felt like Alice in Wonderland reading the DRINK ME bottle and I said to myself- “SELF- WE ARE GOING TO FOLLOW THAT BIKE’S DIRECTIONS. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT WE’RE GOING TO DO!! WE’RE GOING TO ROLL.”
So I wrangled that bike off its rack and I hopped on. I rode that bike through the entire Target store, down the toy aisles and then through the furniture section and finally I hit the food aisles. Folks were jumping out of my way and kids were pointing and I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. I was really shaky on that thing at first because I haven’t been on a bike for YEARS, but after a while, it came back to me. It was kind of like riding a bike. Still, I thought for sure I was going to crash and maybe have to pay for an entire AISLE of wine. Didn’t care. Sorry the pics are so blurry. I was FLYING. And life is blurry. Whatevs.
Sister (while wearing Bobby) was trying to chase me down and yelling Get off! and DANGER, SISTER! DANGER! at me but I was a runaway bike and she couldn’t control me, so finally she gave up and started taking pictures. And then she got really, really happy – I could see it in her face as I whizzed by her. Because I was having FUN!!!! Real live FUN!
Look how fast I’m going here! She can’t even CATCH me with her CAMERA! VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!
How often do we, as mamas – as grown-ups – find something, something relatively healthy- that is REALLY FUN? That makes us laugh and makes our bodies feel like we’re soaring and makes us feel FREE? I felt free on that bike in Target. Like a child before she learns how hard life is. So I bought that bike. It’s in my garage right now, waiting to take me for a ride when I feel sad. It’s not waiting for my husband, or my daughters, or my son. There are no seats for them on that bike. It’s a bicycle built for ONE. Just me. All mine. Waiting to take me away for a little while.
I love you, Monkees. Life is tricky. Unpredictable. Soooooo bumpy. But we are CREATIVE. We are creative enough to handle anything and everything that comes our way. That’s what women do. We create. And then we re-create. Then often we have to re-re-create what we thought we were done creating. Life is not about the cards we’re dealt, but how we play them. We are going to be okay. We are already okay.
Find something just for you today. Something with just one seat.
I love you so. And I love this woman, even though I feel like she should have used just ONE MORE period. But I forgive her. Life is hard and sometimes punctuation is just really not as important as we once thought it was. Maybe we’ve just had enough periods already.
I LOVE YOU. I LOVE US.
Love, G
*and no, Target doesn’t sponsor or pay me, we don’t do that at Momastery. But they really SHOULD, shouldn’t they? They could kick in a little something to help cover my retail therapy bills, at LEAST.
Love.
**BACKPEDALING ON MY BIKE!!!!! Sorry, lovies! Turns out Suze is gay and has had a lovely partner for seven years but our stupid laws wont LET her get married. I didn’t KNOW! SO sorry about making the assumption that she wasn’t married. Assumptions make an ass out of Uma Thurman. I heard that somewhere. Please don’t yell at me about Uma Thurman. I don’t know whether she’s gay or not.
[...] A Bicycle Built for One by Momastery [...]
Thank you, I love this!! I am crying and laughing!
I too tend to use inappropriate punctuation…I mean too many, too few and in the wrong place.. such is life!!
Yup I went to Target a couple times in the last week!
[...] was honest and refreshing =) A Bicycle built for one: “How often do we, as mamas – as grown-ups – find something, something relatively [...]
So glad Jess linked to you. Another incredible thing her writing has done for my life. Thank you for everything you shared. Glad you didn’t get hurt or arrested at Target and had a ball at the same time!
I read a lot here and don’t comment – but I thank you for this post. It sounds like you are doing everything right to take care of yourself when going through something. Riding a bike through Target is the kind of thing I wish I could do without feeling like the whole world is judging me.
My life is good – my baby is about to turn one, I’m about 2 months into a new job that I’m enjoying, and I have a husband who is the best possible teammate for me. (Now, if only we could connect on a romantic level again….we’ve scheduled it in for January – to talk about it and and work on reconnecting, not even *being* romantic – and I wish I were kidding, but I’m not.) I’m not a nervous or naive mom – I’m confident and don’t beat myself up for minor mistakes. The rest of my family love us and our baby and generally have their hearts in the right place. My in-laws are incredible and awesome.
But still? I struggle with depression, and flying through Target on a bike is exactly the kind of thing I aspire to. Thank you for sharing your life with us!
Juliet, bless you!!! I read your post and remembered, and the remembering wasn’t fun. It was the scheduling *talking about* romance months in the future that grabbed me– I’ve been there! Sometimes I’m still there! I don’t really have anything useful to say other than “me too!” and “doesn’t it stink?” (I’d use a stronger word, but I don’t want to make a bad impression!) Don’t give up, keep trying to make it better, and eventually things will be better or you will mind less (in a good way, not a giving up way.) Our path took us first to couples therapy, and then to my personal stuff (not fun at all but one of the best things I’ve ever done– in retrospect!) and we also added a little medication, and all of these things have contributed to much happier me and a much happier family. Letting your husband love you through the crappy stuff (there goes my good impression) can really help you feel like he loves you. Anyway, hang in there, and I really really hope you will have more happiness in your life!
Kate
G-
I’ve recently just discovered your blog and am so inspired by you!! Your honesty is courageous, your writing is beautiful. You are able to evoke such real feelings in me and make me laugh at the same time. This, to me, is the true definition of a friend. I am so thankful to know you through your blog and writing! You bring me joy and love. One of my missions in life is to help more women unite and support and love each other through life. I’m trying to live this through my daughter but you’ve shown me I can do it through my own actions.
We all have husband stuff…it’s difficult but you will forge through. Know there are tons of us out here sending you love.
Thank you for being you and sharing it with the rest of us!!
Love!
Natalie
I’ve been going through stuff, too, Glennon, so I totally get it. (Which is why I’m reading this post 6 days late.) I’ll say a prayer for you & maybe you can say one for me, and I think somehow things will turn out okay for us both. I need to find myself a bike.
I’m a little late reading this, so someone may have already beat me to this comment. But did you notice that the color of your new lamp is quite similar to the color of your nephew’s poo on his mama’s shirt!! (totally not saying it is an ugly lamp, i love it. just saying it was nice of you to commemorate his blow-out like that!)
Press on.
I too am having “marriage stuff”. We had a BIG rain storm last week so I walked to school with my big umbrella to shield my 8 year old and I from the rain. Midway home I closed the umbrella and we danced in the rain! We ran thru small streams and jumped in puddles!! It was the most fun ever and reminds me, like you on your bike, to let go alittle each day! YOLO!!
You guys have been through a lot of changes this year. And changes are hard on marriages. And families. And selves. You don’t know me, but I’m still sending you love and strength anyway. I’m all too familiar with marriage struggles.
Also, you are right that we’ve all had enough periods. I think a semi-colon would have been a much more sensible option for that woman.
Thank you. Your words helps so many. YOU are creative, YOU are strong, YOU can get through anything. Much love from Florida!
I just have to tell you I LOVE my bike!!! I ride at least once a week if not more, it keeps me sane. We all need a little me time & this is how I spend mine. Keep riding sister.
G-Is that the unmistakable sign of breast-fed baby poop on your sister’s shirt in Target? Oh my goodness, I just saw that and boy does that bring back the memories
My heart is feeling sad for you and Craig and I know it is constant conversation with God for strength and healing for you two. Remember when you are doing good things for God, Satan attacks! Just say “Get thee behind me Satan!” and Jesus will send his angels to protect you! Head up young person-we are all pulling for you!
Hugs, G. You are loved!
I am sending myself right now through the spiritual whatevers of my computer to you across the country. I am at your side. SO. MUCH. LOVE.
Warrior on sister! Keep breathing. Love and light to you, Gister!
Your words come right as I need them today. Truly, YOU helped ME this afternoon. Know I am thinking of YOU and sending you supportive hugs from your neighboring state to the north.
Girl! I have looked at that bike SO MANY TIMES! One of these days, it will be mine!
Also my husband added up all my Target purchases last month and showed me the total. OUCH! That was mean, right?! But I just love it so much!
OoOoOoOo G….please don’t be sad…we need you…and we are here for you! How I wish I could still ride a bike…IF I could, I’d ride mine all the way to our local Target and ride it inside the store…HA worked for you!!! Love you
Thinking of you. You have been there so many times for me during tough times, without your ever knowing, so thanks for reaching out and letting us be part of your circle of friends.
I just found this on a little slip of paper in one of my books:
“I cried because I had no shoe until I saw a man who had no foot.” ( I think it’s from the Alchemist? but not sure) For some reason it just made smile today in that ah-ha kind of way.
Hugs to you G.
I don’t know how in the world you could ever find the time to read all the comments, but i just want you to know that there is one more monkee out here who is loving you and feeling for you from afar. Life can be SO HARD and we just want to quit ON EVERYTHING, but you went on a bike ride instead, which is perfect, because at least you kept going for a little while longer.
We love you, believe in you (and Craig) and are lifting you up to Love each and every day. Sending a thousand hugs and kisses, Ali
I love your honesty. Of course we love you and Craig and know it takes a lot of work to feel the love for one another that other times comes so easily. Resentment and bitterness kill love. I don’t know why I am sharing that other than this- 3.5 years ago my husband was let go. He didn’t have work for 6 months and then decided to do a commission based job. I already taught lessons and started doing daycare to keep our house and keep us a float. He would often say he thought we’d never been closer, I knew better, I was so upset with him… and it would eat me up. But since that time I’ve had another child, started my own business, invested every dime I’ve ever earned in it, had my husband lose his job again, so I’ve given up the preschool business, we are losing our house, I recently lost my pregnancy I was so excited about, and we are leaving our beloved city where all of our family and friends are. Nothing is easy. And yet, I am no longer resentful or mad. Find a way to BE, just be. I love my Lord and Savior, I know he will be with me through every heart-breaking and hard thing. I know my husband is God’s son, who God loves very much, and he deserves the best from me. Don’t let the little things kill the love. You guys will find your own way, I have no doubt. I am sorry, disappointment and feeling misunderstood in marriage is SO HARD. I also believe a husband can’t fulfill every need we as women have, that’s why you need good girlfriends. I have found when something hard happens, I can make a choice to focus on the important, or get stuck in the potholes. I don’t assume that is what happens to you, only sharing what I’ve been learning. Life is life, sometimes we can’t put labels on everything, everything isn’t perfect. Find a way to breathe and enjoy the moments as you have so aptly taught us. You guys will make it, you will find a healthier way to be, and even though it takes more work- you will be happier overall. Sorry again things are hard, sometimes being married can be the loneliest place of all, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Good Luck! I am glad you are putting your energies into something worthwhile.
sending you some love and prayers jj. glad you have a loving partner to share these ups and downs and redirections with. God will see you guys through this next turn.
Sending you love JJ, thank you for your honesty, I have some home struggles of my own. Yes life is hard, but we are strong….much Love, Julie C
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could live with our girlfriends and kids and just go out on dates with our husbands sometimes? And have family dates with the kids too and kids would go off with the husband sometimes, but we wouldn’t have to live with the husbands? That’s how I am feeling now anyways
you just made me laugh out loud! may bestie and i say this all the time! our hubbys do NOT think its funny!
one less person to clean up after…
!!!! Holy Cow !!!! I LOVE this….I think I would like my husband a whole lot better if I didn’t live with him…..I’m the Mom, not the maid……Thanks for sharing
Sign me up!
Every word of this is priceless. yes, one more period would do her better… but, yes, great stuff. Laughing out loud in class waiting on the lunch bell with my expertly “murican Redneck Day clad seniors. We do that day right in Bama!
Love you, G.
I have the same lamp. I got it when I painted my boring, brown wall a beautiful teal blue and now have red, mustard and blue colors splashed all around. Target makes me very very happy too. And so far, it’s been lasting for about 2 months cause that lamp continues to deliver smiles to me.
love you.
i’m sure Target is going to appreciate you advocating biking through their aisles as a form of therapy.
listen to this some too when you’re feeling a bit blue:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Jz706sJMjg
I had to stop reading…share to FB and write a comments after reading the part abotu you rolling through Target! I am cracking up! I love the way you write!
Totally needed that this morning! What a great story and SO true. I can relate to needing some time to take care of the marriage. It’s all so hard, so when you need a minute, take it. Plus, I am so with you on Target. I have been known to go there at 7:30 p.m. still in my pjs from the night before with a two month old because I “just had to get out of the house.” Always feel much more normal when I return home:) Love to you!
Well, first I have to say good for you on riding that bike through Target! That takes a brave woman and a woman who also realizes that she needs to be carefree and laugh good job. Second, yes, Target should pay you. And third, probably most importantly we all go through sh*t in lives, especially those of us who are married with kids. Hoping that you get through your stuff okay. Remember to find delight in life, even in the hard times. xoxo
I just got back from Target. – I feel better!
Wow, I have that exact vinyl quote on the wall of my bedroom. Bought it when my husband was gone with the National Guard and I was on bed-rest with my third baby, needed a little strength! I still look up at it every morning and will myself to get out of bed. Just found out he is deploying next year and I am having a really hard time with it. Last time he was gone I struggled, really really struggled. I fight with depression all the time and that was the lowest time in my life. Crazy preggo hormones didn’t help at all! I have been struggling with a lot of crap right now and debate going back on my happy pills, then I got this news, so life is fun right now. Your blog helps keep my sanity in check, as much as possible. I know I can always come here and find someone who feels my pain, but who can also make me laugh through the tears. Every time I vacuum I think of your pretend vacuum lines, and every time I drive past the pawn shop and see a giant rooster I think of you. Thank you for being so brave to open up your life and heart to us who struggle in the dark. Thank you.
Bless you and your husband for the sacrifices you give to our nation. My prayers are with you that God will be with you and angels will bear you up. You are truly amazing.
Dear Lindsey,
Please know you can ask for help. There was another Monkee feeling like you and Glennon shared her post and there were lots of supportive comments. Here is the link http://www.facebook.com/momastery/posts/10151161986774710
Please read them as comments to YOU as I know the same Monkees would share those loving thoughts and inputs with you.
I’m not a doctor but if you found the pills helped you, I would consider trying them again, especially as the days get shorter this time of year. I suffered from PPD and anxiety and I did take something to help. I also found certain foods help (protein foods are good) as well as enough sleep, getting out for a walk, and also a light box. (I got one from a company called Sunbox).
Please don’t suffer in silence. Tell your family and friends, tell your doctor, there should be support groups for you as a military spouse. (see the comments in that link I shred) You are also sacrificing for our country and I don’t think you get the appreciation you deserve.
THANK YOU for your and your husband’s service to our country.
Monkee love and hugs,
Kerry
Take the happy pills!! If you need em’, take em’! YOU are worth it…. Your BABIES are worth it. Talk with someone you trust. Sometimes it just helps to get the words out. Prayingforyou dear!
Long-time reader, first-time commenter. I have stalked too long in silence. My marriage is going through the toughest time we’ve ever had and each time it gets too hard for me to bear I read your blog. And I’m kinder, and nicer, and more appreciative of how great our life really is rather than focused on all the things that are going wrong. Things are really, really hard here right now. We can’t even have a conversation and I do NOT want to yell in front of my toddler who is just starting to understand *clearly* how bad things are. But you are right. We *can* do hard things. Thank you for reminding me exactly when I need to hear it.
Love you Rachel.
Hanging by a thread over here myself. Saving grace is that the thread is unbreakable- it’s between me and myself, me and my God, me and the truth.
We will make it, sister.
Carry On, Warrior.
G
When life sucks, grab a vaccum cleaner and suck up more dirt. Someone told me that once, actually it was my husband’s friend, who wrote that in a card on our wedding and gave us a vaccum cleaner for our present. It’s always made me laugh … and it helped when my marriage went though HARD, SUPER HARD times. Hang in there ladies … life has a funny way of working out, even when we think things are horrible.
Oh you are so hilarious! I LOVE that you rode a bike through target! It makes me so happy when people turn a blind eye to how grown ups are ‘supposed’ to behave. And yes, relationships are hard and there are always bumps in the road. Maybe roll all those bumps into one lovely bike ramp to peddle up as fast as you can and fly off into the sunset for some alone time
Thanks as always for your honesty and big squishy heart x x
Oh I so know how those “bumps” throw everything off kilter. This has been the longest bump in my marriage thus far. And yes we will make it, even if it feels like we have to reinvent the wheel….
{{{HUGS}}}
Your marriage is super important and Craig is super important. We will always be here for you so take the time you need to nurture yourself and him.
This is the first time that I have ever read your blog – someone I follow on twitter told me I had to read it and I am so glad that I did. Thank you so much for you honesty. I will think of you now evertime I ride my bike. You are so right – it doesn feel like flying!
Of course you are going through marriage stuff, of course! And thank you for sharing yourself, as always. Because, once again, it makes all of us feel so much more normal, that you are just like us, that we are all alike. Your family is going through major changes, and expecting relationships to not change at all during major changes is just silly (I’m realizing). Of *course* you are going through marriage stuff – we all do whenever life changes up on us. Just like after having a baby, everything changes, and suddenly the couple has to figure out how to renegotiate and interact with each other in a different way.
Arghhh!!! So Sorry – marriage “stuff” sucks!!
Ok, for some reason me leaving a comment isn’t working, and I’m sick of retyping it all except this:
Keep riding, Warrior.
I love you and this post. I’ve been though marriage stuff too, and it’s hard. But you’re right about our power and abilities as women. And you’re so right about the importance of fun and even fleeting happiness.
Keep riding, Warrior.
I love my bike too. Hang in there. Still love everything you write, you’re wonderful.
Perfect timing as per usual. I spent this weekend also realizing that I needed to spend a little more time finding something with a “seat for one”. Listening to you allows me to feel it is okay to take a little time for myself every now and then. I may just need to get a bike. Unfortunately for me, we just recently moved to an area that does NOT have a Target!!! Target was always my ‘go-to’ when I needed a little pick me up. I do not know how these women get by
My mom was a child during the 30′s depression. Her mother made her dresses out of old flour sacks. She played with old bottles that she considered her dolls–they all had names. To this day she is sad when I throw away a bottle. She never owned a bicylce, but she lived next to a school, and sometimes a child would leave a bike behind for the night. She would get up before dawn and ride that bike while her little fingers froze until the children began to arrive for school. She told me this story when she was 69 years old. So on her 70th birthday I took her to Fleet Farm to pick out a bicycle of her own. She was an older version of you–trying out all the bicycles up and down the aisles of Fleet Farm til she found the one that was right for her. Thank you for reminding me of that wonderful memory of my mother, who refuses to grow old. She is 80 now and still riding that bike.
And yes, being married is hard–we can do hard things. I will pray for you.
Karla,
Your story about your Mom just blew me away. I had tears reading about the flour sacks and the bottles. And especially the idea of a child who had so little she snuck out to ride a bike in the cold, early morning. She sounds like an amazing person, and how wonderful it was that you bought her a bike that she now enjoys.
Thanks for sharing this memory; it is definitely going to stick with me for a long time!
Karla, your story about your Mom made me cry. I am so happy she finally got her own bike! What a wonderful gift that was! And I love picturing her riding it at 80 too. She sounds amazing x x
Thank you for sharing this story. Heart achingly beautiful.
I told my mom about Glennon’s antics. She wants Glennon to know that if she needs to ride a bike in the store again, she should go to Fleet Farm, because the aisles are wider there. Hee hee.
Karla, this is the sweetest, most AWESOME story! LoveLoveLove that you & your mom have this memory to share . . . xoxo
some days are hard but remember we can do hard things. hang in there, keep praying and remember you are loved. feels good doesn’t it. oh and repeat as many times as needed…”it will be ok”. I say that oh about alot of times a day:). it works cause it is okay
You made me laugh so much. And I love the way you write, because it makes me believe I can really see you, and I can see myself in the reflection x
one… I printed that picture you posted a month ago because I love it, that proves you and I are really friends even though you have no clue as to who I am. Two, my mother in law told me about 15 years ago “marriage at its’ BEST is hard work”.. never have truer words been spoken. Great marriages are made up two great forgivers…GOd’s ‘blessings’ and ‘gifts’ are not always tied up with a pretty bow. Have you heard of Laura Story? she sings a song called Blessings (she got a Grammy for it, she’s my friend and a amazing Christian singer) you need to hear it, you’ll love it… xoxo friend.
Love the lamp. That would have made me really happy too.
I can’t explain how much it means for me to read your blog. When I wake up with that feeling of how am I going to make this day a good, peaceful, fun, and not crazy and chaotic day I am drawn to your blog. I laugh and cry and remember that I am not alone and I can do it. Also that whatever happens that day it is only one day.
I loved seeing pictures of you riding that bike at Target! I spend way too much time at Target and I don’t care what anybody says, buying a pair of pale pink cords makes me HAPPY!
Swinging at the park is my free and flying activity that makes my spirits soar. I do it at the park with my kids and really don’t care what anyone thinks! Then I jump off at the
end and my kids laugh their heads off.
So I am sending love to you and your husband. I hope whatever happens you get through it. And take it day by day.
Thank you for helping me take it day by day. I love your blog and the amazing work you do.
Hang in there Monkee!
Me too!! Me too!! About the swinging part. I haven’t done it in a while (somehow my backside grew and now it doesn’t “feel” so nice to sit on the seat…) but maybe, just maybe, I will take my boys to the park this afternoon and swing a little bit!!! <3
I was thinking about swinging too! I may need to go out later for some swing therapy myself!
A bike. Very good therapy! I discovered this on my 51st birthday courtesy my “boyfriend” (sounds so sophomoric, I know). He’s a big cyclist. I’m more a bikist. I found that while riding, it’s just me and Silva (my bike’s name) against the world and the vehicles that sometimes hostily pass me by! But, the bike gives me time to see the world from a different perspective and speed. Slow down. Look around you. And, have conversations with God and myself. And, the collateral benefit is the exercise. I’ve been commuting to work (15 miles round trip). It’s all good. You really should invest in a bike to ride somewhere other than inside Target! As liberating as it was riding inside Target, imagine yourself on the open road! Weeeeee!
“It was like riding a bike” she said. LOL. I laughed and cried. I feel ya. You are so lucky to have a sister and an awesome one at that!
something to let you know that i really really get that feeling of whizzing through the food aisles…and to inspire you to enjoy that bike.
http://yesilikepaulstanley.blogspot.com/2011/05/freebird.html
Prayers that you get through that “hard marriage stuff” quickly.
Love to you, G. I’m sorry you’re having hard moments.
P.S. Love the lamp!
Am I the only one who is really uncomfortable even looking at the bike pics? I have an unhealthy & paralyzing fear of getting in trouble. must’ve been that one detention in grade school…
Ha ha Heather,
I can relate! I am such a rule follower! But I am a little envious of the pic, too! Because I know I would never have the guts to do it!
Thinking about you. And I think I’ll totally freak my kids out and ride a bike through Target this week. Love that. xo
Please tell us you got a bike helmet as well!
Another Kerry saying Yes, please wear a helmet Glennon.
Must add that I love the smile on your face while riding through Target on a bike
And I also love the cute expression on baby Bobby’s face especially in light of what just happened – priceless!
Much love to you and Craig – you belong to each other.
I’ve been reading your archives…there is so much love and strength and wisdom …tonight after reading your bicycle post I happened to read your post from 3/22/11…you should too G
xxxx
“That’s what women do. We create. And then we re-create. Then often we have to re-re-create what we thought we were done creating. Life is not about the cards we’re dealt, but how we play them. We are going to be okay. We are already okay.”
That combined with a well timed, much hoped for call, made my day complete. I hope you wake up tomorrow and your “stuff” is all magically in place, or at least where you need it to be. I know that I am going to go to sleep now, smiling over this group of Monkees and the fact that we all, do really, really, help each other, one keystroke at a time. Thanks!
Glennon,
I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles and so grateful to you for posting despite them. I’m having some marriage stuff too so my heart aches extra for you. Best wishes for both of our marriages. I just got a “we can do hard things” sign and put it over our bedroom door. (Hope that doesn’t create an embarrassing double entendre!)
xoxo
[...] think Glennon, who writes the amazing Momastery blog, is right…and loving Lauren Elizabeth Kelley is not easy…I don’t think my [...]
I’ve read your blog many times before but hadn’t read this post until my sister texted me the part about target helping you feel better. This summer I wrote a post about how target is good therapy for me and how I always feel better after going. (http://forlaurenandlauren.blogspot.com/2012/07/target-therapy.html) Thanks for sharing that. I agree. Life is hard and sometimes those things make it temporarily better!
Love this post. Thanks for the laughs today
Your Uma reference is still making me chuckle. Pretty sure the saying goes…if you assume you make an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’. See…it’s spells assume. But, Uma is funnier 
Loving you lots G-friend. Marriage stuff is hard (me too right now) and Target is also my happy place… except when they all come with. Cause then it sucks. Wishing you more carefree bike rides and snuggles (post-poop/clean shirt) with Bobby. xoxo
If only marriage was as easy as riding a bike. My wheel seems to have fallen off. LOL
Prayers, and xoxo of,course.
Did you know that the quote at the top is from Winnie the Pooh? I put it on a note in my son’s lunch box a few times on hard days for him
Much love to you, G.
Hugs to you and Craig!
Love you and will be thinking of you and your family!
I love you! You are so real Glennon… and you make me laugh out loud. How wonderful that feels!
Awesome. Also, sad. xoxo
And as my Dad says, “just keep pedaling”. Life is hard, but you can do this. Keep pedaling, G. Love and hugs.
Ride on, sister!! Love it!
We do love you, and Craig loves you, and you love Craig. That’s enough. It’s messy; I feel you. I am sipping tea on my couch and hoping you are feeling a virtual hug right now; hang in there.
Nothing like a bicycle! It will surely help you through your troubles. Where are you? I will come visit you anytime you want to talk. I am fine with baby’s bottoms too. Secondly, if you send me your address I would love to send you a copy of the 2013 calendar of the organization for which I work, Association for India’s Development. We know the thrill of riding a bicycle. I know you know it. Our 2013 calendar features photographs of people using bicycles in the course of working in various fields of sustainable development and the pursuit of happiness. Obviously friendly to the environment and our health! You know, an Olympic Cyclist said of the bicycle that its passenger is its engine. Glennon, you take us for a ride every time you write and rest assured (!) we are right there with you on your bicycle!
Aravinda,
If you click on the “Contact” link at the top of the page, you’ll find Glennon’s P.O. Box. That’s where we send all our Momastery-type presents.
love.
Rachael
This was me this Summer in Walmart. Riding on a crusing bike through the aisles and feeling light and free. And giggling like crazy. Pure joy. Glad you found some on wheels!
Huh. I didn’t know Suze Orman is gay. But whatevs! I get you on the retail therapy thing too. And the Target piece of it especially. Enjoy your bicycle!
“It was kind of like riding a bike.” Oh, G. G!!! Laughing in the face of sadness. I hope you go ride that bike today!! Maybe on a street?
Praying for you and C and the kids. I feel your love. There is no sun here in MI (and won’t be all week) and this post – well, I am soaking it in. Love to you, too. Amazes me how a community of women who have (mostly) never met can LOVE each other fiercely just knowing that while we are different, at the corest of our cores we are the same: God loves us, life is good and hard, and we are all praising something and struggling with something else, and have (maybe long ago) realized that being perfect is not only impossible, but joyless. Thanks for helping us all embrace the fact that working through our crap (together) makes us all better.
Again, feeling the love. SOAKING it in. xoxo
Prayers your way. Man, aren’t sisters the best? I have 3 and although we are all so different, we love each other a ton! As for the bike…my husband and my father-in-law are getting in to this phone app (strava), where you race other people on routes around town. Totally not my thing, but it means my husband pulled his bike out of the garage and is out and about happily doing something by himself. So happy for him. I think we all need alone time sometimes.
Good morning G,
You are so loved. I pray for you most mornings, and Craig too. So much awesome stuff is happening for you, but even awesome stuff can throw the balance and rock your world. Let grace carry you through, because God knows we can’t do it on our own.
It is not your successes that give me hope, but your struggles. I am a 51 year old addict, mother of none (yes God IS wise) who struggles daily to find a reason – any reason – to get out of bed and do it all over again. It was your history with alcohol that first drew me to you. Knowing that the pain of addiction (and feelings of helplessness – hopelessness that come with that state of being) is where you started, gives me hope for a better tomorrow . . . or. . . who knows. . . maybe even a better today if I hold my head just right and pray the right prayer. God is using you . . . working through you. . . in ways that are amazing to watch. And when you struggle and are brave enough to share, it humanizes you in a way that a broken, drug addict like myself can relate to at least on some level. I am sorry for any pain you currently feel, but I am inspired by the fact that you have found a way to cope without the bottle. Even on your darkest of days, you are an amazing woman, G. Please never forget that and please never stop sharing the struggle side of life. It helps more than you know. Much respect and as much love as an addict is capable of. . . Q.
Just wanted to say your comment is beautiful and raw, and you have a lot of that will stand with you on those difficult days!
Quinn, I am sending you love. You deserve love and beauty as much as anybody else. What a beautiful reply.
Dear sweet sister Q,
You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for being a part of this community. We need you.
love.
Rachael
Keep getting out of bed, okay? I’ll just bet there is a little area of the world which would be lost without you. I don’t know what all is included in that world: Your garden, your pets, your neighbors, your siblings, your parents? But I know there are people and places your life has touched. I’m so sorry that you’re struggling with addiction. That is a terrible burden. I’m wishing you the best from my corner of the world.
That’s beautiful Quinn. You are loved. And your name is awesome!
I don’t know you (obvi:) but I wish I did. I am so sorry for whatever you are going through but I am happy for you that you have this place to share your stories and get support and I am very happy for you (and frankly jealous) that you have such a wonderful sister to support you! I wish you the best and I know you will be fine…you are one strong lady:)
Want to help – not sure what to say – wish I knew the best thing.
I’m going to say one safe thing and one ‘scary’ thing. Scary to me because as a Monkee I feel like I am supposed to take your side but I want to support Craig because I think he needs the support more. (of course I don’t really know what is going on so please forgive me if I have it all wrong – please know this message also comes with lots of love and support to you too.)
First the “safe” thing:
I’d like to suggest you go for a walk, with Craig. (just the two of you) A long walk. There is something about walking while talking that makes hard conversations flow better. I’ve done this. Please try it.
Next:
Please tell Craig he is loved by many. From reading your blog, it appears that he often has to be the supportive one, the one to try and make it ok, the one who doesn’t get to need anything because everyone else does. He doesn’t have a blog where he can gets tons of support when things are rough. I worry how he feels about you posting this piece. I know I can’t be the only one thinking this (I haven’t read the other comments so I don’t know if anyone else was brave enough to say it too.)
I’m sure your post brought lots of prayers and good thoughts for both of you in your direction. Mine included. I hope you both feel their positive effect. I want to see you both happy and healthy and strong together. You both can do hard things.
We love you BOTH.
I am also concerned about how Craig feels about the posting. Please don’t take offense to that… I absolutely do not mean that in any combative or snippy way. G, I am SURE you know this, but I’ll say it to encourage your heart: Your marriage is more important than all of us Monkees and all Monkees-to-be and all the hurting people in our crazy world who you strive so diligently to help. Next to your relationship with Jesus, there is nothing that matters more than Craig. I know you knew that, but it’s always good to hear it again.
Love and prayers to you and your precious family.
Mother Teresa said, “Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.” Nurturing a close relationship will ripple outward to benefit many…
Glennon, Please know that I totally support YOU too. Re-reading my late night post, I am worried that my words may have caused you to feel hurt and in no way did I want that to happen. I was not not taking your side (yes I meant to say “not not”) but was also trying to support Craig too. I realize it’s technically “none of my beeswax” but it’s impossible not to feel love and support for you and your family. I will continue to pray for you both.
The saying in Bellingham goes “welcome to Bellingham, now get on your bike!”. Riding bessie, my bike, makes me feel so free and happy as my inner (and ignored) child comes to life! My woes are often settled in an hour with Bessie
. She’s blue and has awesome baskets on the back for purchases, or picnic blankets or….
As for marriage…..boy oh boy, have you two had ALOT going on!! I’m NO expert and have to constantly remind myself of my commitment to my husband but if I pray hard I usually get the nudging I need to be a better, more present wife. We CAN do hard things but men, at least my husband, needs to know I’d prefer to do all things, hard and not hard, hand and hand with him.
My lobster helps me to remember how awesome my hubby is. Thank goodness. Cause if he asks me one more time what I bought at…….TARGET, I’m gonna scream!
“-) hehe
Praying for healing, answers, love, and whatever else your beautiful little family needs.
Now get on your bike!
Hey Stacey – nice to see a fellow Hamster and Monkee on here! My bike’s name is Betty and I talk about her just like she is one of my girlfriends. G – I really recommend picking a name for your bike. When I have left mine in the garage for too long, it makes me feel as if I have been neglecting a friend and not just a piece of sports equipment. My husband and I just went back to our counselor and it felt like such a step backward. I thought we had graduated from couples counseling a few years ago. A friend told me we never graduate we just circle around to the hard issues and then we figure them out again. This community of monkees is so healing and comforting. One book recommendation (take it or leave it) – “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian. When I hit the wall and am in that hopeless place of despair this book never fails to remind me I am not alone and there is a way out other than what our society promises through divorce.
Peace and prayer and quick path back to connectedness with C.
A fellow B’ham monkee?!!! How exciting! I am southside…where are you?? and where do you ride your bike mostly? I ride to Joe’s Garden’s, the farmer’s market, Boulevard Park…all the places that still blow me away after a year of living here. WE ARE SO BLESSED!
I have two kiddos who go to Lowell and play soccer, dance at Northwest Ballet and take violin and cello. We just started at First Presbyterian on Garden. Any chance my crazy, over-scheduled life has crossed yours??
Thank you for the recommendation…(I know it was to Glennon, but STILL
…I’m gonna go to Village and pick up that book!
Bobby’s belly is ridiculous. I love him. Take care of yourself and your family. It takes a hell (sorry Bubba) of A LOT more time and effort for you to think/draft/write your posts than it does for us to read and benefit from them. So grateful for however much you are capable of offering. “RIDE” on Warrior!
I’m so happy you found a one-seated! You totally deserve it. Love you!
So. I just had to have a conversation that started with “Why when we stay at home and have dinner and drinks and relax is your first thought “I think I’ll go get on Pinterest.’?” Uhhh. Oops.
xo
It IS hard to love me. And it is hard to love one him. It just is. And I don’t know why; perhaps it’s the proximity and the consistency and the get-the-effing-pee-in-the-toilet(y), but damn. We all need a reset once in a while. Sometimes that’s a therapist. Sometimes that’s a new habit (or faking till we’re making it (yes, it)), and sometimes it’s a reminder that Pinterest or whatEVER we are putting our energy into, though it may not be evil, is not necessarily THE best thing in that moment. I was reset a bit tonight. I didn’t like it, but I may get there.
May you and Craig and whatever else may need it get that reset, too. I love ya, homie G.
What an amazing post! I’m not a Mom, and I’ve never seen your site before, but saw a link to it on FB. I’m bookmarking it! Oh, and as a representative of the gay girl’s league, I will officially pardon your slight to Suze, and thank you for the wonderfully sensitive backpedal!
Now I think I’ll go out and buy a bike (or at least ride one around the store).
No apologies needed, G – but thank you for being open with us. God bless you and Craig – we love you both and are praying for you.
I so get what you mean about Target. We don’t have them in Okinawa, Japan ( where the Marine Corps has us stationed for 3 years). Believe me, when my feet are back on U.S. soil, I will be stepping into a Target within 24 hours. I am laughing over here picturing you riding down the aisle on your bike….and imagining what security thought as they watched you on their camera. Love it!
If you need to take a little break from the pressures of being super-monkee, then you just take that break. If you need time away to figure your stuff out, then you just take all the time you need.
We’ll all be right here waiting for you and sending you our love in the mean time.