Apr 182012
 
First things First, HI CARA!

 

 

Have I mentioned yet that my husband is a model? He works for a few different agencies and does lots of print work and now that you know, you will probably notice him around here and there. He was recently in a Snyders pretzels commercial, snuggled up next to his hot pretzel wife, being hand- fed by her. He does a lot of snuggling other models. He once called me panicked from a shoot and whispered into the phone- “They want me to fake KISS this girl! Should I leave?” And I said, “LISTEN TO ME- You get your head in the game, kiss that woman, and bring home that paycheck, mister.” True story. Priorities.

Craig never tells anyone about his modeling career. He is very shy about it. His friends tease him a lot and so do mine. My extended family is merciless. Perhaps a better wife would be sensitive to her husband and refrain from writing about things that embarrass him. But it seems to me that there are many acceptable reasons for embarrassment, and being incredibly good looking just doesn’t make the cut. Sorry, Sweet Husband. Please consider this post to be an opportunity for character building. Sort of like your marriage to me.

I had a very dramatic pregnancy with Chase. In addition to the whole immaculate conception thing, . . . our doctor found a bright spot on Chase’s heart and a cyst in his brain at our first sonogram. These two markers, along with some other factors, led the doctors to believe that Chase had an increased risk for many serious health issues. We had appointments with specialists every week, and we researched and prayed and worried. It was quite a stressful roller coaster for two kids trying to get to know each other. It was like marriage boot camp. Craig and I learned early and fast how to depend on one another, and how to be dependable. We learned that in a marriage, you never crumble at the same time. You wait your turn. And we learned that when it gets really dark you just pretend you can see, or you sit quietly and hold hands until the light returns. It always does, eventually. During that time Craig and I learned that we could do hard things. It turned out to be a hell of a way to start a marriage, actually.

When I was seven months pregnant with Chase, he stopped moving completely. He didn’t move for 24 hours. I was teaching at the time, and during my lunch break I ate a candy bar and lay down, sure that the blast of sugar would get him going. It didn’t. I became terrified and called the doctor, who told me to get myself to her office right away. I called Craig, but he was in a meeting and didn’t answer his phone. I drove to the doctor’s office by myself, and sat in the waiting room and cried. I thought for sure that the doctor would tell me Chase was gone. I wanted Craig really, really bad. I prayed “help help help help.”

The doctor called me back to the examining room and asked me to change into a robe. She laid me down on the table and strapped the monitor around my belly. She told me that she would need to monitor Chase for several minutes and then she’d come back and meet with me. She asked if I’d like a magazine to keep my mind occupied and I said yes, please. But I didn’t really want a magazine. I still just wanted Craig really, really bad.

The doctor handed me a magazine and patted my head which made me both comforted and afraid.Then she left the room. I opened up the magazine with very shaky hands, and this is what I saw.

 

 

 

 

That’s Craig. That’s my HUSBAND. POSING as a STROLLER VALET.

In an ad that he’d done a decade before, and that neither of us had ever seen.

And here’s what I felt God say to my heart in that cold room all by my lonesome.

Look, sister, it’s ok. Craig will be pushing a real stroller soon and your son will be inside it. And no, Craig won’t be wearing that ridiculous vest, promise. But stop with the Immaculate Conception story, honey. Nobody’s buying it.

Craig busted through the exam room door while I was still staring at his picture in the magazine. He had listened to my phone message and talked to the doctor. He appeared to be completely terrified.

As Craig grabbed my hand, I looked up at him, smiled, and told him not to worry… everything’s going to be all right, I said.

 

 

It IS going to be okay. I know it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But someday it is all going to be all right. For today, we remember to breathe, we treat ourselves the way we want to be treated by others, we drink large glasses of water and we get outside for fresh air every two hours. These things will help until everything is okay.

What else helps? Share your secrets.

I love you all so much.

Love,
G



Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
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  204 Responses to “He Shakes His Little Tush on The Catwalk”

  1. This, too was an interesting read on the topic:

    http://www.jodichapman.com/2012/04/27/are-you-willing-to-toot-your-own-horn/

    When do you celebrate, step back, accept – just be. There is no right answer.

  2. Thank you. We just found two brain Cysts on our baby girl at 20 weeks. I needed to read this happy ending today. Xoxo

  3. What works? I’m not sure, but it just works out. Cry a lot, hold each other tight and try to remember that it is just one day. Rely on your friends – they wouldn’t offer to help if they didn’t want to! Don’t think of yourself as a burden on anyone.

    My son was born nearly 6 years ago, over 13 weeks premature. Our choice was to deliver him early and hope we both survive or not, and we’d both likely die. As we watched my blood volume pour out of my body, we quickly chose to try our hands at living. My son has physical problems we’re still working on related to being so premature, but that’s the key, we’re working on them with an amazing team of therapists and physicians.

    I’ll never forget coming home from the hospital to a package from Amazon from one of my dearest friends. It was 2 books on preemies, and a note that said they were the best rated ones, and she knew I could need them. It was exactly what we needed! And when her son came early and had a few problems, I returned the favor. When we got the official diagnosis of cerebral palsy, another friend sent me books on parenting children with CP, which again was exactly what we needed.

    I guess the best way to do it is to spend your good days being good friends to your friends, because they will return it to you tenfold, and never ask for anything in return.

  4. Thank you for this post. It came at the perfect time.

    My husband and I lost our little girl, born still 3 weeks ago. We went in for an ultrasound and no heartbeat was found. This was our third loss in less than a year, so we are devastated and holding up that WTF sign for God (thanks for that honest post as well) high right now.

    Your blog offered up a little ray of sunshine and hope today. Your writing is such a gift and I am so thankful that I found you and that you are willing to share it with us.

  5. I just lost my grandfather a few days ago, so I really, really needed to hear this reminder that maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow (his funeral- please pray for strength for me and my family), but eventually…things will be okay again. Thanks, Glennon, and thanks to this wonderful community.

  6. Oh, my. This was what I needed. My husband and I had our third child two weeks ago. We’ve been in the NICU ever since. He has been diagnosed with a rare pituitary disorder. We have learned we can do hard things and have been reminded of what a good team we make. It’s been the hardest and most terrifying two weeks of our lives. We keep reminding ourselves “one day at a time.”. Thank you, Glennon.

    • Hey Heather,

      I know the NICU intimately too. It is a living hell. My girls spent an intense month there after they were born and it changed my life.

      You will never forget but you will be more grateful for the smallest steps forward, even 21 months after. I think I hold my girls just a little closer than someone who hasn’t seen their newborns hooked up to awful machines. I am a strong advocate for their needs as a result as well.

      You are doing a great job, even just taking a few minutes to read a blog tells me that you are making attempts to take good care of yourself. You are strong even if you don’t feel it. Feel the loving thoughts of all the moms before you that survived the NICU trauma and know that I am one of them.

      Take Care.

  7. This came at just the right time – Thank you! xx

  8. I love you too!!

    xo
    cortnie

  9. Thank you for this today. I really needed to hear it.

    tlc
    Overacup.org

  10. Jeez…made me cry at work.
    Loved it.

  11. Amen! Love this!

  12. Thanks G for the great posting. I am a worrier by nature and find myself constantly struggling to remember that all will be okay. I’ve been through soooo many challenges in my life and yet come out okay each time. And, when there isn’t anything of great concern in my life, I worry that soon there will be. Seriously? How crazy is that? Creating worry where there is none is for the insane, right? Right now my company is downsizing and I’m worried that my job will go away, and that I won’t find another one or that I will and it will take me away from my chidlren more, or…or…or…

    Seriously the noise up in my head is horrendous. So, for today I’m turning it over to God with the prayer that I can have 24 hours of quiet in my otherwise chaotic & worried brain. :)

  13. Glennon, this story was amazing! I, too, had a scary pregnancy with my second child. He had cysts in his brain on our 18 week ultrasound. I will NEVER forget coming home the afternoon of my ultrasound with the high risk specialist and having a package in the mail from a dear friend. It was a small cross with the word “believe” on it. I took that cross with me to every single doctor’s appointment and it now hangs in the bedroom of our very healthy five year old little boy! I truly believe in signs from God and know that they are everywhere. We just sometimes have to be quiet and listen for them. Thank you for making me laugh and cry! Your story really touched home with me today. Monkee love! :)

  14. @SeaD me too. Totally cried at my desk. Thanks for the reminder that God’s got me no matter what, no matter what. And breathe…

  15. Way to make me cry, at my desk, first thing in the morning, G. But what a beautiful story. Than you, thank you. Just what I needed to hear.

  16. Reading your blog, that’s what works for me! I came here searching out a funny, but extremely real and true life experience, and as usual you did not disappoint. Thanks! I think you said it in a nutshell.

  17. I always think of Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds. It is so simple, but it calms me. And when I am stressed about my mommy gig, honestly, I think one of the things that helps the most is this. THIS. YOUR BLOG. MY BLOG. MOMMY BLOGS all across the world. When I am feeling overwhelmed, the common thread among the mothers of the world and the ones that are okay with admitting we are not perfect and that “Damn it, it is just hard sometimes!” That makes me feel better. :) We’re all in this together. Perfectly imperfect.

  18. i just keep wanting to say…. “MerMaaaaan!” ;)

  19. I haven’t had a smoked in three days, which is a miracle. Last night my kids and I piled in the car at 8:00 p.m. in our pajamas to go get donuts. Donut store closed! Then I remembered the new cupcake store…Everything will be okay in a world where there can be emergency pajama-ed outings to the cupcake store, and my sweet beasties who roll with the punches as their crazy mama withdrawals from nicotine.

  20. Thank you, thank you, thank you. My heart needed to hear those words this morning. My husband and I have had life thrown at us (or throw up all over us) pretty much since day 1 of our marriage…2 years, 4 months, and counting. And I needed that reminder that one day, it really will be okay.

  21. once again, you have taken something that could be tragic and used it to find out that it’s all okay. i love how well you illustrated how a marriage works, because to really make a marriage work you have to be there for each other. neither of you can ever quit on the other. thanks for the words of inspiration!

  22. So beautifully written. Funny, sweet, charming and gracious – that’s you!

  23. Today has been one of those days for me. I just needed the reminder that it’s going to be ok, even if I don’t understand how. Thanks for the reminder to look up.

  24. I really enjoyed this post. Funny and touching as always. Marriage is such hard work and the ups and downs are things so many of us can relate to. I’m not sure if others are curious about this, but I would love to hear about your perspective on how your relationship with Craig changed as you started facing your addictions. What qualities brough you together and how did the dynamic change when alcohol wasn’t present? I have worked with couples dealing with these issues and thought it might be an interesting topic for a future post.
    Keep breathing (and laughing)!

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