There was a couple who’d been married for twelve years. The first two years were good, happy even . . . but then the kids came and work got hard and money got tight and the shine wore off of each of them. She used to see strong and silent but now she saw cold and distant. He used to see passionate and loving, but now he saw dramatic and meddling. They allowed themselves to become annoyed with each other. And so they stopped being careful. They stopped taking care of each other because they each decided they needed to look out for themselves.
And the distances between them grew longer and deeper until it felt impossible to touch even when they were in the same room. And one day she said to her girlfriend. . . I just don’t love him anymore. And it felt terrifying and exciting to say. And he said to his buddy . . . I don’t know if I ever loved her. And their friends said what about counseling but it all seemed tangled up too tight to try to unwind.
She got home from work one evening and fed the kids and put them to bed and she was tired to the bone. And he was late again. Late again. And even though he was late and the house was a mess, she knew that he would walk in the door, pour his glass of wine, and sit down at the kitchen table and relax. He’d sit and relax. She couldn’t even remember what relaxing felt like. She was always either going like hell or sleeping. Somebody had to keep the family running.
She stared at his bottle of wine on the counter. Then her eyes wandered over to their wedding photo on the wall. Clueless, she thought. We were clueless. But happy. Look at us. We were happy. We were hopeful.
God, please help us, she said silently.
Then she walked over to the counter and poured a glass of wine for him. She put it next to his book on the kitchen table, the place he loved to sit and relax, and she went upstairs to sleep.
He tiptoed into the house fifteen minutes later. He knew he’d missed the kids’ bedtime again, he knew his wife would be angry again, and he prepared himself for her steely silence. He hung up his coat andwalked into the kitchen. He saw his glass of wine, and his book, and his chair pulled out for him. He stood and stared for a moment, trying to understand.
It felt like she was speaking directly to him for the first time in a long, long while.
He sat down and drank his wine. But instead of reading, he thought about her. He thought about how hard she worked, how early she woke to get the kids to school and herself to the office. He felt grateful. He finished his wine and then walked over to the coffee maker. He filled it up and set the automatic timer. 5:30 am. It would be ready when she came downstairs. He placed her favorite mug on the counter. And then he walked upstairs and quietly slipped into bed next to her.
The next morning she woke up and stumbled downstairs, exhausted, to the kitchen. She stopped when she heard the coffee maker brewing and stared at it for a few moments, trying to understand.
It felt like he was speaking directly to her for the first time in a very, very long while.
She felt grateful.
That evening, she stayed up until he got home. And she allowed her arm to brush his as they prepared dinner together. And after the kids went to bed and they assumed their TV viewing positions on the couch . . . he reached out for her hand. It was hard, but he did it.
And things started to unwind. A little teeny bit.
Look. I know it’s hard. It’s all so damn hard and confusing and complicated and things get wound up so tight you can’t even find the ends sometimes.
All I’m saying is that somebody’s got to pour that first glass of wine.
Because love is not something for which to search or wait or hope or dream. It’s simply something to do.
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WOW! Your words are so real and beautiful and honest. My marriage has been there before and we managed to unwind. We’ve never been happier but it takes so much work all the time. It’s easy to get worn down and discouraged but it’s worth it! My favorite quote concerning relationships is “The grass is the greenest where it is watered.”
Thank you for writing this beautiful post – it brought tears to my eyes!
Someone copied your post and made it look like her own: http://purplechronicle.blogspot.in/2012/04/unwind.html
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My friends and I call this “the upward spiral”. As hard as it may be to take that small step to do something kind for your partner/spouse, it typically causes them to do something kind in return. Thus, the upward spiral begins. Although I gotta say, it sure takes a lot of humility to take that first step!
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This is my first time reading your blog and this entry really resonated with me. My husband and I are there right now, we’ve not said it out loud to anyone but we’re there. We’re much too comfortable treating each other badly and it seems an immpossible habit to break. I’ve sometimes wondered too if I ever really loved him or if I was just latching on to him because I needed someone safe to take care of me, to save me from myself. But when I think of being apart from him it breaks my heart, I can’t imagine life without him. I also don’t want to live our lives together being miserable though. I have to remember small steps…
Thank you for this! I printed it out and set it on the table for my husband to read when he gets home from work tonight…..late….again. Your blogs have spoken to my heart today! Thank you for your words!! God Bless!!
I really needed this tonight. Thanks for pointing out how tough things get…especially when priorities shift. I think all the attention your blog is getting is because we all realize our problems are not unique! Everyone has them. Thanks for helping us all take them in stride.
So true! Marriage takes effort. We chose our spouses to begin with, but it takes so much more work to keep the romance alive after the kids, bills, work and everything else come along.
I realized after our first child that I wasn’t paying as much attention to Husband as I should so I started trying new things to spark the romance and he started changing and being more attentive which prompted the start of my blog.
Thank you.
Once again I am crying. Good tears though. It reminds me to pour the first glass of wine. It is funny that you use that analogy because that is exactly what my husband and I used to do for each other when we were first married. Whoever came home first from work would light the candles and pour the glasses of wine and it would be waiting for us when we came home. It was so special – truly a lot of love! However, 7 years later – 3 babies 2 years-old and under and one of them with cerebral pasly, we have been tested. We get grouchy and out of touch with each other OFTEN. I think tonight I will pour that glass of wine again.
Thank you.
P.S. I am a newbie, but so glad you are welcoming me! I love your writing!
Thank you for sharing x
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This was so touching. We’ve all been in that place where what you need clouds your ability to see what someone else needs. And makes it so hard to reach out. But you are so right – it must be done. And is so, so worth it. Thanks for this!
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I discovered you when somebody posted your Don’t Carpe Diem post on Facebook. I cried when I read it. I read this post. I cried. Life is work, life is hard. Life is full of beautiful surprises, but life is full of ugly stuff also. I love this post for showing that our own inability to let go of our resentment is the problem. If my husband was cruel or hurt me or my children it would be different. But, he is a good and decent man who works hard and is tired at the end of the day. Once we realize that they are truly the weaker sex, it is easier to deal with their need to “relax” at the end of their day. (Oh, my blood boils whenever he says, “I just got home and I need to relax a minute.” I could soooo relate!) But at the end of the day, I am from a divorced family. I don’t want my family to dissolve because I was grumpy about chores. He is as lonely as I am. It is sooo hard to pour the first glass of wine for him (when he should be the one to do it for me because I ALWAYS do it for him!!) But, I know, if I can let my resentment go, then he can lower his guard. And then, the intimacy will slowly filter back in. Thank you for showing me the way. And I LOVE the website! So sorry that us newbies found it, and feel free to write a book and make money. When you package wisdom (from the inevitable pain of life) with love and humor, it just happens to sell. Ask Maya Angelou. You will still be awesome! Did I say that I LOVE your website!!
[...] this post by Glennon at Momastery about marriage and forgiveness and taking the first step. I’ll share [...]
Sometimes love is only one sided – make sure it’s coming from your side. God is always watching – so it’s okay.
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So, so powerful!
I forwarded this to my husband at work and he responded, saying that It brought tears to his eyes as he read it…that it was really good
First post I read was, “Whatever, Honestly,” which made me laugh hysterically and I posted it on Facebook.
Now I read this post and I’m crying. My husband and i are in the counseling. it is hard. but good. We have only one child. I don’t know how anyone who has more than that does it.
I read only two posts and you’ve got me laughing and crying. wow. you’re good. I wish I had time to read more, but I’ve got to get back to work while daughter is at preschool.
It’s a choice, and it takes work everyday. We have to work at every relationship we have, and a marriage takes two people, daily, working at it. It IS worth it!
Love your writing. Great blog, you should write a book!
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This is real life
OMG you are amazing. I love your writing. Its beautiful and so are you! Its so refreshing to know we monkees are not alone in our journey. xo
This is really lovely. Thank you
I do wonder though about why (and this isn’t just in this piece but generally) that the romantic thing for the man to do wasn’t to straighten the house, even just a little bit! I’m lucky to have a husband who does notice when this needs to be done and while he may not do it all the time (I don’t either) it is worth more than gold to me when he does. That is the real way he shows love and respect for me, is doing his part for the upkeep of the house even when we are both stressed and busy. I think a lot of marriages would be better if men did this sort of thing naturally.
This is absolutely true. I can vouch after 34 years of marriage, 2 kids, 2 grandkids, that if you take care of your spouse, your spouse will take care of you. If you give love to your spouse, your spouse will give love to you. My husband loves, really, to bring me a cup of tea or coffee every Saturday and Sunday morning. I’m always surprised as to what it will be. I never expect it. I just enjoy it. I always send my husband words of encouragement in an email or text during his work day. A marriage is never 50/50, but it all evens out in the end! Thank you for your story!
Beautiful
I’m a newbie here & am totally encouraged by your honesty in motherhood, marriage, mental health…Just wanted to jump on and say “thanks.”
Dear Glennon,
Thanks for being you and sharing your amazing gifts with us.
I discovered your Don’t Carpe post on Facebook and clicked on your blog… and spent the entire weekend reading your entire archives (what lucky timing for a sinus infection and husband in charge of the kids while I rested). I have so many things to say, but I will keep it as short as possible. I see myself in you in so many ways and what I love is your honesty and unapologetic-ness for you being you. It has made me see myself and my gifts in a much more positive light, rather than trying to be calm and less passionate about the world as most of my friends are (and thank goodness for calm friends). Another thing I appreciate is that I had kind of given up on religion and Christians – the media makes them out to be extremely hypocritical right-wing nutjobs, but you have totally restored my faith in people who love Jesus and are also compassionate and kind as well. I never thought I would return to church, but in some way I think I will definately feel more free to be spiritual or even a lover of Jesus as my journey continues now. I am so thankful for your blog – it is so wonderful to find someone who is teaching LOVE above all things, which has always been how I felt but sometimes there is pressure to feel otherwise. I am a lifer on this blog now and will eat up your every word!
Anne
Very well said, my thoughts exactly!
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Beautiful and perfect. Thanks for the reminder. I forwarded to my husband so we could both be transformed by your words…which we have been. Thanks for sharing your gift with so many.
Years ago, along the lines of our time together, one of us poured the wine. I do not know which of us it was. There had been passionate and joyful times, busy times, financial crises, children, illness. Jobs held us away from each other and gained the importance of the elephant in the room. But one day, the sun shone and the birds sang and we noticed all the love that was still inside our hearts, and let just a tiny drop spill. The spill grew and grew until all other things gradually receded. There was a renewed feeling of joy and more….togetherness was ours again. This time it was more aged, mature, open, and cherished. We knew it would never fade again…and it continues to grow as we discover all we are to each other. God has given us the eternal lamp of love, and we bask in the glow!
Love your post. One of my favorite quotes is
“Choose your love. Love your choice.” -Unknown
Words can’t express your timing with this post. My friend posted it on facebook. It is perfect.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this piece. With 11 years of marriage and counting, 4 kids, financial hardships etc., this read is definitely a boost to the soul and heart! Had tears in my eyes! Thanks for the eye opener!
But I don’t drink.
In all seriousness, great post; I’ve seen too many couples grow distant and forget why they wanted to be a couple. Then what happens when the kids leave?
I think this is perhaps the slap in the face that I needed to stop being so angry and only thinking of myself.
Ah, a subject very near and dear to my heart…Love is not a feeling; love is not something we do because we feel like; it’s something we do because it’s who we are and how we have decided/chosen to define ourselves in this life.
What you shared here goes in line with one of my favorite posts on my blog ….
http://realtruelove.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/how-to-fall-in-love-again-updated-11012/
“I have no way of knowing whether or not you married the wrong person. But I do know that if you treat the wrong person like the right person, you could well end up having married the right person after all. It is far more important to be the right kind of person than it is to marry the right person.”
There’s more to the post; it’s a good post. . . .
Thanks for sharing and caring as much as you do, Glennon.
Kindest regards,
John
Well, slap a habit on me and call me a novice Monkee, ’cause you are wonderful and I will gladly make a habit (pun intended) of reading your blog. Or, in the words of Dug the Dog, “I just met you and I love you.” (Is that not the greatest movie line ever?)
This post brought tears to my eyes. So too did your story of yourself and how this blog came to be. At this very moment, my husband of 9 1/2 years is snoring on the couch because he doesn’t feel well so he decided to take the day off. This is one of two days a week I get a few hours to myself because both our boys are in school, and I look forward to these days tremendously – especially today, since I just got a borrowed set of books last night that I’ve been dying to read! So when he announced he was staying home (and I knew that would mean for me a day listening to his snoring and not being able to read in SILENCE or choose to break the silence by turning up the radio and singing or dancing if I wanted), my internal knee-jerk reaction was irritation. And my next one was, “What is wrong with me? How can I begrudge my husband the rest he needs for his weary body?” And I think, after contemplating both on this and on your post, that we’re just human. We’re both selfish and selfless – and being healthy (on all levels) is about keeping them in balance. If we are too selfish, we drive others away. If we are too selfless, we run ourselves ragged. And a big element in keeping this balance is grace – giving ourselves and those we encounter grace when we’re out of balance, and accepting grace to move on from unbalance (rather than beating ourselves up) and finding grace in new balance. (Right now I’m giving myself grace for writing a sentence that possibly makes no sense outside my head.)
Peace to you, my new friend. Peace and grace and gratitude and balance.
This one hit home for me…I feel like this isn’t even something I can talk to my sisters or girlfriends about.
My husband has travelled for work for 6 years and we now have 3 children. The first couple years were great. We did little things for each other like making lunch or when we went to the store or the mall and saw something the other one might like we bought it. It was those small gestures that meant everything.
After a couple years those gestures grew few and far between and after he came home for the weekend from work he wanted to relax and I wanted to go out and spend family time together. We quit exchanging birthday and Christmas gifts because we said “It’s about the kids now and money’s tight so lets quit exchanging”. We spent so much time apart that we didn’t even know how to be affectionate anymore,. I started focusing on my life at home with the kids and he focused on his job. We quit even going out on dates when he was home.
This year we made the decision to homeschool our kids and travel with him full-time. And although it’s been absolutely wonderful to be together as a family…my husband and I still feel a distance between us.
Your post was inspiring and made me think that we need to start those small gestures that mean everything again.
This is beautiful. We’re only one year into marriage, but sometimes when I really think about being married, it’s terrifying. I know people who tried everything to save their marriage, but they are still divorced. I love my husband so much, but I can already feel us getting complacent and not trying as hard. It’s scary. To think that in the end, it could not work out and we could get divorced or we could stay together and not be happy. I don’t know…just some thoughts.
1) marriage is not only a promise to your husband, but also a promise to God.
2) if anything is becoming stagnant or “complacent”, check on your relationship with God first, that usually uncovers the root of the problem.
3) you will never be able to control anyone but yourself…but the best way to influence and inspire a change is through marriage. That is why it is worth sticking it out for the sake of love. Love ALWAYS wins…ALWAYS!
Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. AND THE SECOND IS LIKE IT: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
So we are to “do unto others as we would have them do unto you”. We are not supposed to do it to them in order to get something back… However, you will know that you did for others correctly when you feel something good, not from them, but from inside.
A friend forwarded, and this is indeed lovely and for some can be true – but…
We moms so often “get it,” we read beautiful pieces to inspire us to be better, to take on more, to expect less, and we berate ourselves and look for answers when we still feel lonely lying in bed with our partners… and that is what I did. For 16 years. And now I am married to a man who looks out for me, too, and who is “doing” all the time for our child and my children, and whom I did not have to try and teach why that stuff matters. Try, yes; do, yes. But also be prepared to stand up and say “this is not how I want to live, and it’s not what I want our children to expect, and it must change, or I will be done.” Because some dads will never wake up and smell the coffee, and you will teach your kids that love is something to take for granted.
A very insightful counterpoint. My faith tells me I can’t accept divorce as an answer but my experience tells me I can’t argue with anything you just said.
So, I should level with you that despite having an incredible husband, now, as in one of those “soul mate” sort of things that reads like fiction, divorce sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks, and sucks. For everyone. It’s not an “answer,” because it does not actually solve anything.
The best possible world is to force husband to see that you are miserable, and to understand that a loveless marriage is a terrible example for your kids, and that there is indeed no guarantee that you will stay despite your religious convictions. I could not get that to happen, even given a couple of counseling attempts spanning a decade and many months of trying before separating. The bottom line seemed to be that he needed to first believe that I would leave before he would invest in doing. He didn’t get that until I actually did leave, but by then I was leaving, not trying. I wonder sometimes if I had started from “I’m leaving” if that would have forced him to actually really see me…. and I’ll never know. Meantime, I can see that the idea of being vulnerable to gratitude and selfless love is something that makes my kids very uncomfortable, and that makes me sad and worried, so the effects on the kids are quite real. Good luck to you, and your family.
Thank you. I poured that proverbial glass of wine for him a few months ago; he, in turn, brewed that proverbial pot of coffee for me. We’ve been slowly unwinding ever since. It feels good.
This is lovely, and needed just now. Sometimes we get so wound up in our own hurts, we forget to give and that simple acts of giving can help us remember that we love each other. Thanks for this:)
Thank you for this post. You have no idea how much it helps; how much I needed to read this today.
xoxo
hmmm…it made me think…
happy & sad & smiling & crying all at once – - and it’s not pretty! ha!
but this was just what i needed to read! and i shared it with a facebook group of doctor/resident/medical student wives…..a tough group of women faced with a tough medical training journey and supporting their husbands and families along the way. hopefully it will speak to them too!
This is so beautiful… and exactly what my husband and I have committed to doing in 2012– pouring the 1st glass of wine.
this made me cry. my husband and I are on the verge of seperating. It is probably too late for us, but this has made me want to try.
It’s never too late. My husband and I were there just a few months ago. We had a big talk and I realized that I had not been loving him the way I should have been. He had been extremely unhappy for over a year and didn’t tell me.
It just takes a simple act of love to remind the other person how much you really do love them. And if they don’t get it, try a different act of love, or come right out and tell them “I did this out of love for you. I don’t say it enough, I don’t act it enough, but I truly DO love you.”
G,
Thank you for this. I think it’s something I should read at least once a week. Life with young children and work and household chores gets in the way and we just forget. Just now, I sent my husband, who works long hours and isn’t always home when the kids go to bed, a text telling him just how much I love him, how I appreciate everything he does, and how his sacrifices for us don’t go unnoticed. He responded with an “I love you so much. I thank God for you every day.”
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look frroawd to reading more articles from you in the future.- Jack
I’m new to the blog…. LOVE this!
The ability to write so well and to inspire immensely is a rarity. You have them both and you have all of us here hooked.
Please keep on writing. Sometimes, we only need an article to make marriage work.
I read this the first time you posted it and loved it. In fact, I just printed it out last week to keep close to me so I can read it often.
Is this really yours?!? I am gob struck. I got this as an anonomously written forwarded email years ago. Thought it was beautiful then…cant figure out why it was never credited to you.
You have no idea how much I needed to read that. Thank you.
Your blog is incredible. I just went to the funeral of my last grandparent, the only one who took me on adventures, and baked for me, and bought me the Complete Works of Shakespeare that saw me through my English major, and came to my confirmation when I became a Catholic when the rest of my family wouldn’t even talk about it, and traveled several hours with my mom to be moral support at divorce hearings when she was about to become her ex-step-daughter-in-law. I didn’t cry, I couldn’t cry, because I still can’t believe she’s gone. And then I got home and read your blog and I cried.
To be honest, I cried mostly because I feel like I try so damn hard at these tough things called marriage and family life and it feels like those Gordian knots will never budge. I wish it were as simple as leaving out a glass of wine and going to bed. But it’s not since I’m the one coming home from work after the kids are in bed all too often. I can’t seem to be able to figure out what gestures hubby will even notice, just like I can’t seem to figure out what rewards will motivate our three-year-old daughter to do the things that all the other kids her age seem to do but she just won’t, unless she feels like it. And then there’s my mother–I’ve sacrificed to the bone and even my family for her, and her job is taking care of her grandkids who adore her, and all she does is complain about how miserable she is.
But then one of your commenters said her husband finally started giving back when he retired, and another with 37 years of marriage said if you don’t smell the coffee keep putting out the wine. And I think about my grandmother, who enjoyed life so well, but no one in their rememberances mentioned my grandfather, because the truth is he was the least enjoyable thing about her life and I don’t think she ever missed him after he passed away 15 years ago. I’ve been married not quite 5 years and yet I understand my grandmother’s point of view. But that’s not where I want to go, that’s not where I want to be.
Somehow, I have to keep trying to figure out what’s the equivalent of putting out the wine. I have to keep believing someday it will start losening the knots. Thanks for challenging me to do that, as agonizing as it is.
Heather,
Your own sacrifice can only go so far. In the “Unwind” tale, you have to assume that there is an undercurrent of love and mutual respect. With that premise, “Putting out the wine, and setting the coffee pot timer” is a start, but you must first be in a relationship where there is mutual respect between partners and a love to build and grow. Unfortunately, I have a sister who is in a marriage where she is always the one, “putting out the wine”. Her husband, has yet to set the coffee pot, because he doesn’t respect her sacrifices as much as his own. I’m no expert, but I feel if you can establish that mutual respect first to enhance the undercurrents of love, then maybe you can discover the steps you need to start “loosening the knots”.
Best of luck to you,
BD
Heather, I just want to hug you. Brent, well said.
xoxo
Brent, I appreciate your thoughts. But the way I read the story, especially the first paragraph, it seemed that the love and respect had been forgotten by the couple, and it was “putting out the wine” that helped rekindle it.
There are moments when I see that my husband has just as much respect for me as he always has, and love if you define love as “I really like who you are and what you do” and not agape. But that doesn’t seem to motivate him to get off the couch and help me out when I’m overwhelmed (which as a mom of a troubled preschooler and a toddler who works full time outside the home is pretty much all the time), or stop talking about himself long enough to ask me how my day went or what I’m thinking about. No, the day we weren’t dating anymore and he could take it for granted that I’d be there for him every day, he started doing just that.
We’re starting a marriage enrichment class this month, though, so I’m praying it will help open his eyes and his heart. ‘Cause I dread the thought of spending the rest of my life with a man just like my father and just like my grandfather who thinks that as long as HIS needs are being met everything is just fine.
Heather,
Gary Chapman has written an amazing book called ‘The 5 Love Languages’. You can buy it on amazon or from Gary’s website http://www.5lovelanguages.com. It will also be available from your local library, but it’s very popular so you probably won’t be able to reissue it straight away.
The 5 Love Languages® helps couples to identify practical and powerful ways to express love, simply by using the appropriate love language.
Give this book a go and ask your husband to read it to. It may be a good start to see if you can rebuild your marriage.
Best of luck.
Jo
I’ve read the 5 Love Languages, recommended it to my husband, and left it lying on a table in our bedroom for months and months. To my knowledge he never picked it up. I finally put it on the bookshelf a couple months ago when he insisted on “cleaning things up.”
I realize from reading that book that a big part of the problem is that his love language is primarily quality time, but the things he really likes to do with me all take money and time away from the kids that we just don’t have anymore. And I don’t even really have a preferred love language. I’ll take any one of them (except don’t just get horny with me and call it love), just put a little effort into something.
Heather,
I was really touched by your post. It can be hard to keep love in a marriage, and the thought of a loveless relationship is terrifying (to me, at least). My husband and I have been married almost five years now, and unfortunately we’ve also reached a tired, slogging-it-through each day phase. With kids and jobs, it’s tough.
I am blessed to be surrounded by so many people (including all these wonderful cyber monkees I just found) who understand how hard a marriage can be, and how tough it is to make the choice to love each day. What an encouragement that is. We are not the only couple to have troubles, and love is not always going to come easily.
My husband’s parents (who nearly divorced in their first few years of marriage, and now are amazing examples of a self-giving devoted marriage) who send us marriage guide books from time to time, and sadly I don’t read most of them. Fortunately, they didn’t give up and also passed on a book by John Gottman called ‘The seven principles for making marriage work.’ http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327015055&sr=8-1
I’d wholeheartedly recommend checking it out. It’s unique in that he takes a research-based approach to trying to pick apart what makes marriages successful. I’m being long-winded, but I was blown away.
Anyway, just wanted to say it’s okay to have fears and worries, and your marriage can hit a bump (even a long bump) and make it to the other side stronger. We’re still working through ours, so no advice yet.
Just count on that third person in the marriage (God) to help carry you. Praying for you!
You’re a great writer. I’m hooked. So important to remember sometimes it takes just one simple first step forward to make all of the difference.
G – I don’t know how I forget about momastery, but I had not checked the website since the first week in Dec. What a perfect blog to come back to. The words are carved right out of my life.
This morning as I was getting ready to get out of the house with my 2 crazy kids, I managed to put some lotion on my face and then reached for my loose powder foundation. There I found a perfect little paper heart cut out of a post-it from our kitchen. I knew it was from my husband. Then as I was trying to pay for our purchase at Wal-mart. I pulled out some money and out came a big paper heart cut out. And all I could think was, ” How in the hell did he have the time and energy to do that so early this morning. Wasn’t he tired?”
Thanks for the reminder that marriage is all about effort.
K
So right! Effort with a capital E!
Keep on writing Glennon–you have such a gift. Your words are an inspiration.
For all those who need a little unwinding in their marriages, don’t wait. Take a step today. My love died this year and I only wish I had him here. My heart and my home feel so very empty.