Oct 142010

Along with every other concerned mama, I’ve been watching America’s response to the bullying related suicides closely. People seem to be quite shocked by the cruelty that’s happening in America’s schools. I’m confused by their shock. I’m also concerned about what’s not being addressed in their proposed solutions.

The acceptable response seems to be that we need to better educate students and teachers about what bullying is and how to react appropriately to it. This plan is positive, certainly. But on its own, it seems a little like bailing frantically without looking for the hole in the boat through which the water is leaking.

Each time one of these stories is reported, the tag line is: “kids can be so cruel.” This is something we tend to say. Kids these days, they can be so cruel. But I think this is just a phrase we toss around to excuse ourselves from facing the truth. Because I don’t think kids are any crueler than adults. I just think kids aren’t quite as adept yet at disguising their cruelty.

Yesterday I heard a radio report that students who are most likely to be bullied are gay kids, overweight kids, and Muslim kids.


I would venture to guess that at this point in American history, gay adults, overweight adults, and Muslim adults feel the most bullied as well.

Children are not cruel. Children are mirrors. They want to be “grown-up.” So they act how grown-ups act when we think they’re not looking. They do not act how we tell them to act at school assemblies. They act how we really act. They believe what we believe. They say what we say. And we have taught them that gay people are not okay. That overweight people are not okay. That Muslim people are not okay. That they are not equal. That they are to be feared. And people hurt the things they fear. We know that. What they are doing in the schools, what we are doing in the media – it’s all the same. The only difference is that children bully in the hallways and the cafeterias while we bully from behind pulpits and legislative benches and one liners on sit-coms.

And people are sensitive. People are heart-breakingly sensitive. If enough people tell someone over and over that he is not okay, he will believe it. And one way or another, he will die.

So how is any of this surprising? It’s quite predictable, actually. It’s trickle-down cruelty.

I don’t know much. But I know that each time I see something heartbreaking on the news, each time I encounter a problem outside, the answer to the problem is inside. The problem is AWAYS me and the solution is ALWAYS me. If I want my world to be less vicious, then I must become more gentle. If I want my children to embrace other children for who they are, to treat other children with the dignity and respect every child of God deserves, then I had better treat other adults the same way. And I better make sure that my children know beyond a shadow of a doubt that in God’s and their father’s and my eyes, they are okay. They are fine. They are loved as they are. Without a single unless. Because the kids who bully are those who are afraid that a secret part of themselves is not okay.


Dear Chase,

Whoever you are, whoever you become. You are loved. You are a miracle. You are our dream come true.

Chase, here is what would happen in our home if one day you tell your father and I that you are gay.

Our eyes would open wide.

And we would grab you and hold you tighter than you would be able to bear. And while we were holding you we would say a silent prayer that as little time as possible passed between the moment you knew you were gay and the moment you told us. And that you were never once afraid to tell us. And we would love you and ask you one million questions and then we would love you some more and finally, I would likely rush out to buy some rainbow t-shirts, honey, because you know mama likes to have an appropriate outfit for every occasion.

And I don’t mean, Chase, that we would be tolerant of you and your sexuality. If our goal is to be tolerant of people who are different than we are, Chase, then we really are aiming quite low. Traffic jams are to be tolerated. People are to be celebrated. People, every person, Is Divine. And so there would be celebrating. Celebrating that you would be one step closer to matching your outsides with your insides, to being who you are. And there would be a teeny part of my heart that would leap at the realization that I would forever be the most important woman in your life. And then we would tell everyone. We would not concern ourselves too much with their reactions. There will always be party poopers, baby.

We just wanted you to know this, honey. We’ve worried that since we are Christians, and since we love The Bible so much, that there might come a day when you feel unclear about our feelings about this. Because there are a few parts in The Bible that discuss homosexuality as a sin. So let us be clear about how we feel, because we have spent years of research and prayer and discussion deciding.

Chase, we don’t believe that homosexuality is a sin. Your parents are Christians who carefully choose what we believe and follow in the Bible. Some will tell you that this approach to Christianity is scandalous and blasphemous. But the thing is, honey, that the only thing that’s scandalous about this approach is admitting it out loud. The truth is that every Christian is a Christian who picks and chooses what to follow in the Bible.

Several years ago I was in a Bible study at church, and there was some talk about homosexuality being sinful, and I spoke up. I quoted Mother Teresa and said “When we judge people we have no time to love them.” And I was immediately reprimanded for my blasphemy by a woman who reminded me of 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10. But I was very confused because this woman was speaking. In church. And she was also wearing a necklace. And I could see her hair, baby. She had no head covering. All of which are things that are sooooo totally against the Bible Rules. * And so I just assumed that she had decided not to follow the parts of the Bible that limited her particular freedoms, but to go ahead and hold fast to the parts that limited other people’s freedoms. I didn’t point this out at the time baby, because she wasn’t a bad person. People are doing the best they can, mostly. It’s best not to embarrass people.

What I’m trying to say is that each Christian uses different criteria to decide what parts of the Bible to prioritize and demonstrate in their lives. Our criteria is that if it doesn’t bring us closer to seeing humanity as one, as connected, if it turns our judgment outward instead of inward, if it doesn’t help us become better lovers of God and others, if it distracts us from remembering what we are really supposed to be doing down here, which is finding God in every human being, serving each other before ourselves, feeding hungry people, comforting the sick and sad, giving up everything we have for others, laying down our lives for our friends . . . then we just assume we don’t understand it yet, we put it on a shelf, and we move on. Because all I need to know is that I am reborn. And here’s what I believe it means to be reborn:

The first time you’re born, you identify the people in the room as your family. The second time you’re born, you identify the whole world as your family. Christianity is not about joining a particular club, it’s about waking up to the fact that we are all in the same club. Every last one of us. So avoid discussions about who’s in and who’s out at all costs. Everybody’s in, baby. That’s what makes it beautiful. And hard. If working out your faith is not beautiful and hard, find a new one to work out. And if spiritual teachers are encouraging you to fear anyone, watch them closely, honey. Raise your eyebrow and then your hand. Because the phrase repeated most often in that Bible they are quoting is Do Not Be Afraid. So when they tell you that gay people are a threat to marriage, honey, think hard.

I can only speak from my personal experience, but I’ve been married for eight years and barely any gay people have tried to break up my marriage. I say barely any because that Nate Berkus is a little shady. I am defenseless against his cuteness and eye for accessories and so he is always convincing me to buy beautiful trinkets with our grocery money. This drives your sweet father a bit nuts. So you might want to keep your eye on Berkus. But with the exception of him, I’m fairly certain that the only threats to my marriage are my pride and anger and plain old human wanderlust. Do not be afraid of people who seem different than you, baby. Different always turns out to be an illusion. Look hard.

Chase, God gave you the Bible, and He also gave you your heart and your mind and I believe He’d like you to use all three. It’s a good system of checks and balances He designed. Prioritizing can still be hard, though. Jesus predicted that. So he gave us this story. A man approached Jesus and said that he was very confused by all of God’s laws and directions and asked Jesus to break it down for him. He said, “What are the most important laws?” And Jesus said, “Love God with all your heart, mind and soul, and love others as yourself.” ** When in doubt, Chase, measure all your decisions and beliefs against that. Make damn sure that you are offering others the same rights, courtesies, and respect that you expect for yourself. If you do that, you can’t go wrong.

Chase, you are okay. You are a child of God. As is everyone else. There is nothing that you can become or do that will make God love you any more or any less. Nothing that you already are or will become is a surprise to God. Tomorrow has already been approved.

And so baby, your father and I have only one specific expectation of you. And that is that you celebrate others the way we celebrate you. That you remember, every day, every minute, that there is no one on God’s Green Earth who deserves more or less respect than you do, My Love.

“He has shown you what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” ***

Love, Mama

PS. We thought we should mention, honey, that if you’re straight, that’s okay too. I mean, it’d be a little anti-climactic now, honestly. But your father and I will deal.

PPS. All of the above holds true if you are overweight or Muslim too. No problem on either count.

PPPS. As daddy read this essay, I watched his gorgeous face intensify. He teared up a little. Then he slammed the letter down on the kitchen table and said emphatically and without a touch of irony, “DAMN STRAIGHT.”

Which, when you think about it honey, is really the funniest possible thing daddy could have said.

Love you Forever.

Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
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  330 Responses to “A Mountain I’m Willing to Die On”

  1. If all Christians were like you, I might actually go to church. This was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

  2. I found your blog through a friend the other day and have absolutely enjoyed your thoughts and musings. You have a way of putting virtual pen to paper that is inspiring. I absolutely agree with this post that children learn and do what they are taught. That they are “mirrors” and that bullying we are seeing in our schools and communities is a trickle down effect from what is happening and being taught in our homes. However, let me be the first to throw a little rebuttal/debate into the mix here (if that’s okay ☺)
    As a mother of four, a devoted Jesus follower and a person who has walked through hell and back in her marriage and seen God do amazing, redemptive things after sin almost destroyed it one thing I know that I know that I know is true… God’s word always proves true (Proverbs 30:5). And our hearts are deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9, Prov. 12:20). It is concerning to me when I hear Christians say things like “there are parts of the Bible that discuss homosexuality as sin” (which is true) but “we don’t believe that homosexuality is sin.” I get concerned when people say that when scripture conflicts with how they feel about what scripture says and how it relates to our current culture that how they “feel” (their heart, deceptive as it is) will win out.
    Interpreting the Bible is tricky business. And I would never ever suggest that I have it all figured out. I don’t. Never will. But I also know that we often allow personal perception and world view to impact and cloud our judgment when it comes to seeing scripture for what it is. And I have learned over the years that its not about what I think scripture says. It’s not about what I want it to mean. It’s not about what I think God should represent. It’s not about what makes me most comfortable. It’s about what’s true.
    And while I share your sentiments…I too would grab and hug and show my son love and support…I also would not tolerate his sin. Somewhere along the way we made a shift in our culture that said that I cannot tolerate, accept, or celebrate someone as a person unless I tolerate, accept, and celebrate everything they say do and believe. I do not believe this is true. I have seen the opposite play out in my life and countless others. I can, and in fact do, have relationships (loving, respectful relationships) with people who differ from me without “celebrating” something that God’s word (truth) says is sin.
    I hate what the church has done with this issue. I hate how some Christians treat the gay community. And I hate how that has turned people off to knowing Jesus and finding a church home. But I also hate that so many seem to believe that the remedy to this problem is just eliminating every truth that other’s use to hate. We need to learn how to use those truths responsibly and lovingly. We need to learn how to build relationships and speak into people’s lives with respect and honor.
    And I do appreciate how well you voice your thoughts and opinions. This is such a sensitive topic, in the church, in our communities, in our homes. I so appreciate that you had the courage to tackle it regardless of your take on it. Thank you.

  3. I just found your blog through a friend's link. I'm going to save this for my son when he's old enough. This made me cry and expresses so perfectly what I believe Christianity and humanity should be. Great job.

  4. I am not trying to be a bully here but, I am going to disagree with your comments when it came to what you defined a Christian to be. If a Christian is someone who just chooses what they want to believe from the Bible, then they are not a Christian. There is right and wrong and it is clearly stated in the Bible and God expects us to follow those guidelines it is black and white, there is no gray area, and if we continue to not follow his guidelines then there will not be a place for us in heaven. If you know it is stated as a sin and you continue to ignore that, that is a problem. Now I am not sure if you son has talked to you about homosexuality or not but if he is homosexual,he is living with sin and by you letting him live this way, knowing its sin, you are just as guilty as he is. Stop trying to justify yourself and what you believe by dragging all other true Christians into this and speaking lies about them. The Bible is truth, and we are to live by it, all of it. Be accepting of him, thats fine and thats love but dont stereotype to make yourself feel better.

  5. OMG – I just found this and this is AMAZING. Would you run for President? So, so many things I agree with, empathize with, dream of, all start with the thought 'if only we could all get along' and here you've laid it out….simplistic, maybe (mine) but this 50something mama bear refuses to lay down her idealism that, someday, it could happen, that we DO all get along. Just wish I could be here to see it.

  6. I stumbled upon this today because a friend posted it on my facebook wall. Thank you for this. My husband and I have been on a long journey from growing up in fundamentalist, exclusive christianity traditions to realizing the beautiful inclusivity of Christ. I am going to do the best that my sons know of me what your son certainly knows of you.

  7. Love, love, love this essay! You've conveyed my sentiments so well and your letter to your son is one I'd like to send to mine. Thank you!

  8. Beautifully said…and quite humorous as well. I've always told my girls that it's almost a shame that they both like boys, because they got the ONE mama in the world that couldn't care less if they were gay. Guess I'm not the only one after all. Down with haters.

  9. Glennon, so much comes to mind when I read this. I was the victim of bullying from grade 4 to grade 12. In school. By our pastor's son. And NOBODY stood for me. Some days, I just wanted to die. I would've given ANYTHING to have my mom or dad go to the pastor & his wife to make their kid shut the pie hole. But then, guess where he learned it all from? (My parents came from their own hell, and were doing their best. I love them!) God has been so good to me, and I've been able to forgive, and move on. Funny though, when the boy-turned-pastor tried to friend me on facebook, I told him no. And why. That his cruel teasing and taunting were devastating and heartbreaking. His response was along the lines of "I didn't mean anything by it – hope you move on – have a nice life". Like I need the dickwad's permission. Ooops…was that in my outside voice? I HAVE moved on…but I also understand that forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or trusting. But it has marked me. Oh my, yes. The rest of what you said? I firmly believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God. Every single word. The idea of 'picking and choosing' doesn't fit with that. I used to be very narrow on the whole homosexual thing. But. A friend also shared his testimony, and it changed forever the way I view someone who is gay. My friend was led to Christ by his boss, who happened to be gay. The words, the conversation that my friend shared that took place between him and his boss were things that God knew I needed to hear. And He changed my heart. There can be so much debate, so much difference. But what God taught me? Don't judge. He made EVERYONE. The way we are. He loves us ALL. We should be iron sharpening iron, for sure. But not mean, hateful, or cruel. That doesn't at all reflect who my Jesus is.

  10. I was directed here via a link on facebook, and just wanted to let you know how very much I appreciated this post.

    I mostly left the church due to many of these same issues, and shared this link myself with members of my conservative family. But I still believe that where two or three are gathered in his name, there he is, and am filling my life with good people.

    I also wanted to share the below book with you, as it helped me dig into some real answers on where this repressed theology comes from.


    My personal theory on faith these days is "if you can't replace the word god with the word good, you're doing it wrong."

    Thank you for reaffirming my belief that people within the church are working to embrace positive change. Keep doing the good work! 😉

    Amanda Kudalis

  11. Dear March 6th Anonymous with the multi-part comments:

    We don't preach here. We love. We share ideas, humbly, but gently. We don't give ultimatums. We don't "lay down the law." We do not claim to speak for God. We do not fight to make others believe what we believe.

    While I respect your right to have your own opinion, your comments accomplish nothing. They do not promote love, and they do not win anyone over to your position.

    Please be respectful of what we have created here – a place of love, grace, humility, and kindness. I would encourage you to read Glennon's posts that are tagged with "Faith." She has some profound words that I believe are God-given, and they resonate with the Jesus that I'm sure you know.

    In the words of Glennon, more often to herself than to us, "Be careful." I cannot stress that hard enough, Anonymous friend. I do believe that your heart is in the right place. Just be careful.

    With love,

    P.S. As someone who has the necessary exegetical background to take you to task on every single one of your points, it is very difficult not to respond to the message you put out there. But as I said, this is not the place. Momastery is for something else all together.

  12. Thank you so much for the wisest words I've read yet on bullying, and for that beautiful letter. I posted a link to this page on my Facebook page, and my friends were touched as well. My sister said, "For the 1st time in a long time I am not ashamed to call myself a Christian. I wish more people would come forward with the true meaning of Christianity." You've made the world a better place.

  13. I REALLY needed to hear this today. After a week of dealing with daughter's preschool over a book she wanted to share with her class about a duckling who's different (The Sissy Duckling by Harvey Fierstein, it's awesome) and hearing from them (and some others) that being different is okay, but not TOO different and not if one wants to SHARE that difference in too loud of a way with those around them…I SO appreciate this post. Can't thank you enough for sharing it. It's brilliant. Love.

  14. A friend of mine sent this to me. I just have to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart. I wish the world was full of people like you, not tolerant, but loving. I went through physical and emotional torture, as well as spiritual bankruptcy when I came out, all because I put my faith in people that wanted me to be something I cannot. How amazing it is to look back at that and have overcome. To go from actually wanting to die, to getting the absolute most out of every day possible, loving everyone I come in contact with, to me is the ultimate reward. Thanks again! Much love and light to you!

  15. Thank you for this article. You have no idea how much it means and conveys to someone who has struggled with something their whole life and yet, has loved God their whole life, too!

    Just Kelly


    Verse 27 is quite clear. Some people will go as far as to blaspheme and say that “well that part was written by Paul and not spoken by Jesus. They forget that 2nd Timothy 3:16 says “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.”

    Romans 1:28-32 “and just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them.”



    Perhaps the most direct New Testament dealing on this issue is found in Romans:

    Romans 1:18-27 “For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to IMPURITY, so that their bodies would be DISHONORED among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever, Amen. For this reason God gave them over to DEGRADING passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.”

  18. Anonymous said…

    Sorry about the order, something went wrong with the post

    -PART 2-

    In like manner, did Jesus run around going through the ten commandments and explaining what was and what was not still sin? No, the ones that He did talk about, he talked about to expand on their misunderstandings to make sure that they were on the same page with Him, with God. For example, Matthew 5:28 “You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY', but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

    Some people have told me, well all that stuff about homosexuality is old testament and Jesus came to make a new covenant. That breaks my heart that people think that the Old Testament is there just for the “Vintage” factor. Without the Old Testament you cannot begin to understand what Jesus did for us on the cross. Some people think that Jesus came to change or get rid of the law. Jesus doesn't think that in fact He said in Matthew 5:17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them”


  19. -PART 4-

    I will leave you with this:

    2nd Timothy 4:2-4 “preach the Word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths.”

    2nd Timothy 3:1-9 “But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith. But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all…”

    p.s: You said that you heard this from God. I have to ask, do you think that God is so absent minded so as to contradict His own Word which He wrote? Please remember, 2nd Corinthians 11:14 says "..for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light". Satan knows the Word of God and he is always trying to twist it to deceive. Please don't fall into his trap…I'm begging you…

  20. -PART 3-

    Sin is not a joke. This is not just to deal with the sin of homosexuality, but to also deal with sins of lust and pride and whatever else you want to put into the blank. Some people who fool themselves into thinking that they are Christians will run around and have sexual relations outside of the context of marriage, refuse to repent before a HOLY GOD and then want to condemn Homosexuality as a sin. They are fools and don't understand that unless they repent, their own sin will land them in Hell.

    Can you be a homosexual and be a Christian? No you cannot. It is the same answer to the question of whether or not you can run around having sex with people and be a Christian. No and No. 1st John 3:9 is very clear on this issue, “No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God's seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.”

    Stop playing games with His scripture trying to pick and choose what you will believe and what you will follow. Anyone who does that is not a Christian and only deceives themselves. Trust me, God is not going to be fooled. It is really simple, Jesus said in John 14:15 “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments”.

    What are you trying to say? That we have to be perfect to get to heaven? No! Please do not get this twisted. If you have been born again, if you have truly been saved, you will obey Jesus' commandments as a lifestyle. It is AUTOMATIC because the Holy Spirit automatically brings about the image of Christ in those that are His. How do we know this? John 15:5 “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

    Look at that, the fruit comes automatically from abiding in Him and apart from Him we can do nothing. What fruit? Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…” Self-control means freedom from a life of sin.

    Even right now, some of you reading this are thinking that I hate the homosexuals and I am here to tell you that you could not be farther from the truth. My heart is broken over them because they are living in sin and have been so deceived by the enemy that they believe that they were just born that way. The truth is that we are all born with sin and its ravages flow through our veins. However, to say that someone is born a homosexual is the same thing as to say that someone is born a thief or an adulterer. Do you forget that we do not war against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities and rulers of darkness(Ephesians 6:12)? Homosexuality is a demonic stronghold that is gaining significant ground in this day and age mainly due to people not calling sin as sin and not going to God through Jesus.

    I know that I will lose friends for this post. People will delete me from their friends list and shun me for speaking the truth. But I would rather be hated by you all now and you hear the truth and possibly be saved than for me to be silent, you perish in your sins, and your blood to be found on my hands. I will not let my lack of obedience get in the way of you hearing the truth of the Word of God.


  21. -PART 1-

    My heart is broken! I can’t do this anymore. I can’t sit here and watch as these people around me die in their sins. I can’t sleep and my eyes are full of tears…Then some of the people who claim to be “Christians” are denying the truth in the Word of God and spreading heresies and blasphemies that tickle their ears and lull them into a state of false security. They don’t know Christ but believe that they do…oh what a powerful and evil deception from the pit of Hell!!….

    I know people who think that they have been saved who think that homosexuality is not a grievous sin in the eyes of God! They run around saying that God does not disapprove of it as if it isn't written plainly in scripture for them to see. What terrible times these are…But I shouldn’t be surprised because the scripture spoke of this…

    Leviticus 18:22 “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”

    Leviticus 20:13 “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their blood guiltiness is upon them”

    It is pretty plain that God detests homosexuality. It is sin, an abomination even before His eyes. Do you think that God is sitting up in Heaven saying “Ah you know, it used to be an abomination to me but hey, it is 2011, its no biggie now”? James 1:17 “(God)…with whom there is NO VARIATION or shifting shadow”, Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ(being God) is the SAME yesterday and today and forever”, Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withers, the flower fades, But the word of our God stands forever”, Luke 21:33, Mathew 24:35 “Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words WILL NOT pass away”. I am pretty sure God does not change His mind on what is sin and what is not, especially the ones in the abomination category.

    Some people will say, “Oh well when Jesus came it was different. He never condemned homosexuality as sin so its ok.” The only reason Jesus didn't waste His time talking about homosexuality being a sin in the eyes of God is because the people ALREADY knew that it was an abomination in His sight. It is why Sodom and Gomorrah was destroyed in Genesis 18 and 19. If you don't believe me, check how the two Angels did not commit to destroying it until the men of the city tried to come out and have sex with them (Genesis 19:1-29).

    Look at Lot in those same verses. See what happens when you hang around sin too long without renewing your mind? You become corrupted. You start thinking like the world. Lot was going to give up his virgin daughters to be raped by these evil men…see how his mind was twisted by the enemy!


  22. OK, I want to be reborn into your family the next time around. For every act of horrible curelty, if there ia a counterbalance like your home, we will heal. Thank you. Bless you. I hope this is the rock in the pond, sending out ripples that encircle our lives.

  23. Some food for thought.
    It is very nice and comforting to know other people agree with us, or to be called right. It is very validating, and I believe to live our human nature needs to be validated. However, it does not mean we are right, no matter how many people agree with us. I think about this a lot when I start to thinking I am right. Lots of people agreed with Hitler after all. I think it is very important to our children to know they will never be fully right…they need to keep seeking God and so do we, steadfastly, knowing they will never get there. I have to remind myself, that probably, in God's eyes, I am no more right than the people who's views make me cringe. I think the thing we need to teach our children is how to be whole people without needing to be right all the time.

    Second point, God loves His image in people. He doesn't love the sinful parts. We can have endless debates about what is and what isn't a sinful part. And those debates can be good, because people have a lot of trouble separating God's image in people from the rest of them. And I think striving to love people more and better is what being a christian is all about. But, most importantly, we need to look for God's image in people, and love them for that, and encourage them to have the core of their being be that image. And teach them to be confident in their salvation in Jesus Christ, that that is what makes them right with God, not having to adjust their theology to make sure that their life or their beliefs are right with God. Because there will always be part of our lives and our beliefs that are wrong with God.

    I guess, how can we give our children the self confidence they need to survive on earth but still ensure they have the humility that I believe is actually pleasing to God?

  24. This post touched my soul! Tears are streaming down my face as I think about how much better the world would be if more adults modeled loving with our faith and our minds.

    I have been a 2nd-4th grade teacher in the NYC public schools for the past 4 years. Unfortunately, I have witnessed too many of our little ones mirroring the negativity adults have modeled for them. And while my school created an anti-bullying campaign, which included all faculty and students, I did not see a significant decrease in bullying. I constantly struggle with how to make my classroom a more loving place, where all students feel safe to be themselves, without fear of judgement or negative repercussions.

    As a woman of faith, I am so glad that God is using you to do good with his will. Far too many of our fellow believers are creating the in and out groups that you spoke of. We need more people to operate through a love ethic.

    Thank you so much for this post.You have strengthened my faith this morning.

    Be blessed,

  25. While I applaud your words and their message, I feel compelled to point out that some of the parents who are concerned and are trying to raise their kids to be compassionate members of the human race are indeed not their Mama's, but are their Daddy's.

    Sexism is something else our kids learn from parents…

    A concerned Daddy

  26. You are a gift. Thank You.

  27. Last night, my 13 year old son slipped a note under our bedroom door. It said he didn't know how to tell us that he likes girls and guys and he thinks that is called bi-sexual so he wrote us a note. This morning when I read it, before he woke up, I came and read this post again. I need these words to be my words to him today.

    This may just be normal curiosity. He may be bi-sexual … he may be gay … he may be straight. None of that matters to me … well, it matters but only in the fact that I want him to be true to who he is. I celebrate him!

    Thank you for giving tangible words to my heart.

  28. I am also putting this on my facebook page. Please email me at rkjfarmer at gmail dot com if you prefer that this blog post is not shared in that manner.

    But thank you for writing and sharing it. Beautifully written.

  29. So true. Children learn from their parents casual conversations that they don't think their children pick up on. Prejudice is TAUGHT and LEARNED.

    And I've always hated the "tolerance" b.s. That's like, "Yes, I'll tolerate you. I won't kill you, but I'll never change the fact that I think that what you are or who you are is an abomination and I will preach that to my children and take that from my Bible."

  30. Amazing post! I'm crying and laughing! Thanks to Mrs. 4444 for sending me your way! I'm a new follower, of you not of Jesus, but I'm sure you're okay with that. :)

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