Feb 132010

Mothers always whisper to their babies how special, how beautiful, how brilliant they are, how there has never been another baby in the history of the world as perfect as they are. I certainly whispered all these same things to my babies. Chase took them with a grain of salt, like most babies do. I’m sure he thought “Aw. So cute. Mom’s in love.” Tish, on the other hand, believed every word I said. When Tish heard me whisper these things into her teeny ear, her reaction was: “ YES. Exactly as I suspected. It seems I am some sort of GODDESS. Fan.damn.TASTIC.” And no one has been able to convince her otherwise since.

I’d like to offer an example. Several months ago my preschoolers were doing a project involving mounds of glitter, or “sprinkles,” as Tish calls them. Glitter, as every preschool teacher knows, is absolutely essential and absolutely impossible to clean up. It sticks to everything. So after this particular project, I decided to shake all the excess glitter into the toilet. That seemed to work, so we finished cleaning up and called it a day.

Later that evening, Sister came over for dinner and she was in the middle of a story at the table. Tishy interrupted her and said the following:

“Scuse me. I have to tell you guys something important. Today, I was pooing, and sprinkles came out of my bottom.”

We all stared, quietly.

Tish looked around at us, one at a time, and realized we were lost.

So she clarified. She said, “YOU GUYS. I POO SPRINKLES.

None of us had any damn idea what she was talking about. That night in bed I burst out laughing when I figured it out.

When I told Bubba and Tisha the story, they had these mugs made.

Monkees, my wish for you today is that you will regard yourself so highly that you too, will start believing that sprinkles come out of your bottom.

That is all.

Carry On, Warrior
Author of the New York Times Bestselling Memoir CARRY ON, WARRIOR
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  62 Responses to “And Speaking of Tish…”

  1. Hand to God- my room mate & I just died laughing because that is just amazing.

  2. I just woke my daughter up by laughing so loudly!!!!

  3. […] also an amazing gift of writing and humor… por ejemplo, how about this little snippet from this blog about her daughter […]

  4. How have I been missing these posts? This made me laugh so hard I cried…and then promptly sent the link to my husband and my mom. Fan. DAM.tastic!!! BTW, this is exactly my 4 yr old daughter too. :-)

  5. Evelyn, I just wanted to tell you to hang in there. My son was almost 41 months by the time he potty trained. He just wasn’t ready mentally, even though he was physically quite capable. We used a sticker chart on the bathroom wall; adding stickers thrilled him to no end, and he helped choose the prizes for each column: an extra story, an outing for ice cream, a day at the park, etc. When he finally did TT, he was from all diapers to all undies in a week (and night time undies about a month later), and I can count his major accidents on one hand. Good job letting your daughter take the lead and train when she’s ready–this too, shall pass! <3

  6. i gave my children a pound each of seven colours of glitter when my daughter was twelve. when she moved out to go to college and i swept her room,in the corners, there was glitter.

  7. Hey G – I’ve been reading your blog since my sister-in-love (her term, we really do adore each other) introduced me to it. Her name is Rachel and she considers herself one of the Monkees.

    Anyway, just stumbled back onto this post about Tish and nearly peed my pants reading it.

    I have a 3-year-old who feels like she is the axis on which God’s entire creation turns. I can’t wait until she is actually potty trained so that I can put glitter in our toilet and see if I get the same response from her that you did from Tish.

    And yes, you read right – I have a 3-year-old who is still in a diaper. I just can’t win the potty training war and no one’s suggestion has worked thus far. We’ve tried everything except the “run around naked” because she’s a little weird and actually likes wearing clothes.

    Love your blog!

    • Evelyn! I think you and I have the same child! Amazing! My child too will not potty train to save my life! Of course, perhaps that’s the issue…she won’t do it for me….it’s all on her own time.
      Oh and she loves her clothes too….never would run around naked….too many cute outfits to wear :)

    • I have a group of friends who all have older children than mine. When I was contemplating potty training my first, they all told me, “Don’t even GO THERE until they’re three!” Really. All of them. So don’t feel sad. Or embarrassed. You’re doing just fine.

      And I promise she won’t be going to prom in a diaper. She’ll get there. We all did.

  8. […] on a blogroll. In the meantime, please do yourself a favor and check out this blog, specifically this post. Don’t let the mommy blog thing scare you—this girl is my new favorite […]

  9. Since I’m a new Monkee, I am working my way through your blog from the beginning. What a wonderful surprise to run across this one! So adorable. My youngest also calls glitter “sprinkles”. I might just have to dump some glitter in the toilet to see what she says :-) Oh, and I whole heartedly agree with the glitter/herpes analogy posted by a couple of other Monkees. So frustrating when you think you have it all cleared up, only to discover another “outbreak”….lol.

  10. That just made my day. I laughed so hard I cried! Thank you!

  11. Hahahaha….my daughter’s friend calls glitter the “herpes of crafts”, too! I laughed so hard people came out of their office to find out why and now we’re all laughing!!

  12. Oh, BTW…glitter is the herpes of craft supplies…bless your heart for having it in your house!

  13. I laughed so hard I almost peed a little…

  14. How gorgeous. She will love this story in years to come.

  15. Granny Monkee-
    I happen to know and love one of your great big bundles of potentiality, and his wife…and I think they really took that song to heart, no?
    You must be so proud. Love you and your capital Ps.

  16. Hi Monkees: Just home from school, 4 hours of tutoring and a basketball game—-we won!!!!! WE were pooping lots of sprinkles!!!

    I love the last two posts and have shared the stories at school all day long. I remember when my kids ( now 34,36,38) were little we used to sing this song:

    "I am a promise, I am a posibility,
    I am a promise with a capitol P,
    I am a great big bundle of potentiality
    and I am learning to hear God's voice and I am trying to make the right choices
    I'm a promise to be everything God wants me to be."
    I loved spending time talking to them about what wonderful gifts they were to the world and to me. WE talked about them each having special talents that they would learn to use to make this world a better place. I wanted them to know that we are each very special but not better that those standing around us. LIfe would be so boring if we were all alike and all had the same talents and abilities.

    As a teacher, I see the entitlement attitude among my students and it concerns me. We have some pretty heavy conversations about what they are responsible for in this world. They have very unrealistic ideas about what life is all about. My students for the most part, regardless of socio-economic level are very spoiled. They have clothes, shoes, cars, jewelry that are worth way more than I would ever spend and think nothing of it and are really not grateful to their parents for providing it. They just expect it. I love to teach the seniors about money management — it really opens their eyes to some of the realities of life.

    Thanks G for the beginning of this days sharing and thanks all the other monkees for all that you share with me on a daily basis.
    Love you all much

    Granny MOnkee

  17. another great story. G, thanks again for sharing everyday!

  18. double dipping today … I think children's self esteem is just so amazing. I often wonder how and when it gets channeled into these stereotypes that are often just an example of natural instincts run amok. I'm so glad that SLM brought up the princess thing. I've wanted to address this princess culture on my own blog for some time, probably since I found out over a year ago that I was having a girl. I think it's so very important for her understand that her natural instincts need to be tempered and used for good, not ill. I often see in the little girls in my life such a healthy self confidence. They know how they want to be treated – with respect and dignity. Where this concept goes awry is when it's not made crystal clear that respect and dignity is a two-way street.

    BTW, I have a little boy, too. And I don't want him to fall into the aggressive/macho boy stereotype.

    Respect for others and humility in their self-concept is something that I strive to teach my children. Heck, it's something I strive for in my own outlook.

  19. dear mom, that post is great! you are the bom.com.org.gov. Biznesss!


  20. this is one of the funniest things i've ever read. i love that she loves herself like this. may this confidence stay with her.

  21. Welcome all new Monkee Commenters!! SO excited to make your acquaintance!!!

  22. I absolutely love the mug idea! What a wonderful idea!

  23. Best. Post. Ever.

  24. As an "undercover" reader of Momastery..I don't often comment… for obvious reasons(I have a reputation to uphold after all…lol) ..but today I felt "moved"…
    hee hee.. pardon the pun, or would that actually have been a double entendre …either way …From Poop to Jesus and back again….you guys ROCK!…thanks for making my day a little better

    I remain Sincerely,

  25. Now I know Tish is related to Colleen Elizabeth Whitehouse! Here is the quote she has posted on her FB in the about me box.Its been there for a couple of years now…..

    "When I was a baby, I was dropped in a box of glitter and have been shining every since."

    It only gets more fun as the years go by….all I can say is HANG ON….what a ride.

    Love to ya!
    Krystal W.

  26. Love the tennis story! . . Wish my parents took my racket away when i threw temper tantrums. Maybe that is part of my problem!

  27. hi lovies.

    on the subject of entitlement and spoiling…

    one of my favorite parenting stories goes like this:

    there was a high school student playing in an championship tennis tournament when the line judge made a call the student didn't like.
    instead of respecting the judge's call, the player threw a fit and complained and talked back to the judge.

    in front of the huge crowd, the player's father came down onto the court from the stands, walked across to his shocked son, and took his racket out of his hand.

    the son said emphatically and with much embarrassment…DAD…WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I CAN BEAT THIS GUY!!

    The father said, "I don't see how, son. You don't have a racket."

    And he walked out to the parking lot and drove home.

  28. LWL – I agree. I think our differences should be celebrated, not used as excuses to separate us. I love talking about and learning about others and how they make their way thru this crazy thing called life. I guess I just chafe at the implications that there is ONE way or THE way to do it, as if someone else's is not good enough or wrong.

    SLM – I struggle with this concept, too. How to make our children feel special and cherished without spoiling them so much that they feel entitled. I'm sure I won't be perfect, but I think we're on the right track that we even think about it. As I'm sure Glennon does. I don't think dressing up as a princess is enough to do it, but having read Glennon's blog for 6 months I have faith that she is raising her children to not only believe that they are special and cherished, but that others are as well and that will translate into wonderful adults.

  29. Chimmy, you're a Malawian princess? WOW…that's amazing. I have a friend who lived in Malawi for 5 years and really wants to move back. What part of Malawi are you from?

  30. LWL – that about sums it up. (btw – I'm on mute and I don't think Big Brother is watching me…)

  31. Big Mistake, HUGE!

    I mean to kick off my message with

    SLM — I'm giving you a standing ovation, sister! Because I know that was NOT a burn against any of the present company and any members of the Melton Royal family. They are grounded by a greater sense of purpose, so I am not worried either :)

    Conference Call. Now.

  32. Ahhhh, JJ, sorry to have started the progression toward ruining your warm fuzzy feeling.

    For the record, I LOVED this story! I was literally laughing out loud reading it!

    This is the beauty of the blogging world and a good thing for it, makes you think, exposes you to the viewpoints of others, and teaches us to love along the way, even when differences present themselves…especially here…I think…

  33. SLM — I'm giving you a standing ovation, sister! Because I know that was a burn against any of the present company and any members of the Melton Royal family. They are grounded by a greater sense of purpose, so I am not worried either :)

    There is a sense of entitlement that I've noticed even in myself. (Yes, I am a princess, but really… I am. Malawi tribe royalty… not quite as fancy as the Dutchess of York… but the village royals are responsible for helping guide resolution on village issues, which range from orphan care to proper dowry for an engaged couple overseas who don't own cattle back home, but I digress).

    In the work place, I've observed the younger employees, new recruits entering the work force with wild Donald Trump vision and expectations, making demands before they've even put in a full year's work.

    And yes, it does nothing for little girls who grow up feeling a bit damaged and alienated by the so-called fairy tale.

    I could step on a soap box about most mass media messages surrounding princesses, fairy tales, good vs evil, etc. But I should really stop now. Really. I've got a conference call in 5 and the princess at the other end will have my head if I am late.

  34. Posts like these are my favorite Glennon. I don't think I will ever look at "sprinkles" the same.

    For me reading the comments today has some how taken away some of the warm fuzzy happy feeling I got from this cute story. Anyone else feel this way?


  35. Oh thank God! Someone else has sprinkles coming out of their bottom. I thought I was the only one. Phew. :-)
    She is perfect!

  36. your daughter is a riot! i needed a good laugh today and that was it! Thanks so much!

  37. First of all, I want a set of mugs! You must save them for pulling out the first time she brings a special someone home to meet the family.

    Thank you Chimmy for the quotation and the wise words.

    What I hear in the truly gracious disagreement (we are starting to get good at this– if we keep this up, we can start consulting in war-torn corners of the globe!), is not an either/or (i.e. either it's ONLY God that gives goodness or it's me, me, me) but a both/and.

    It is both true that we are all broken and in need of some sort of redemption through God in whatever form that connects us more lovingly to the world around us AND we need to recognize that our me is crying out to be treasured and valued.

    God made each one of us– and each one of us is a unique treasured creation. We each are given gifts– talents, passions, "things" that we can use to make the world a more loving, just place. That is our call. Glennon has been a writer long before this blog– but when she connected her writing with creating a safe place to tell our stories and practice not-being-jerks, she found something bigger than just her writing. Don't know if Tish will find her way to creating a better world through the pooing of sprinkles (especially since that was coincidence rather than actual sprinkle-pooing), but she does possess unique gifts that the world needs.

    For me, Christianity is the context that makes this work– but I know it's not the only one. I would guess that more of us have struggled with recognizing and owning God's love for us and our gifts than have struggled with thinking we are TOO fandamntastic.

    So I'm grateful that we can disagree here– because the Monkee experience definitely adds sprinkles to my day!

  38. Bird by Bird — This book is so you, Glennon.

    Have you heard of Ghost Ranch in Arizona? It looks like they have fabulous writing retreats. Someday, that is my dream.


  39. This morning while reading Anne Lamott's "Bird by Bird," I had a flashback of yesterday's post with Tish dancing & Glennon writing:
    "I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing," — this is a quote by Hillel, which is hanging by Lamott's desk.
    And then she states, "The way I dance is by writing."
    Love this mother/daughter image of writing/dancing.
    Trying to get my thoughts down on the religious/spiritual part of all this, but don't want to be late for counselling. Something not many know about, but here it is on a blog with those I don't know in person. G. once wrote "off to therapy I go." Hi-Ho-Hi-Ho, or something like that?
    Anyone else reading Bird by Bird? Any index cards around?

  40. Jennifer M,
    It is not you, I got your sweet e-mails. I have not written my story yet. I am a really really wonderful procrastinator and this is a big undertaking for me. I have not wanted to write down my story because it can be very overwhelming and very scary at times, but ultimately it is joyful and amazing and wonderful. I need to do this, I think God wants me to write this, so today I will start it. I will send it to you in segmants, that way I will be held accountable to finish it, but I won't overwhelm myself with all of it at once. I am so so sorry I was slacking on this. I will be e-mailing you this afternoon. I still have your e-mail address. Talk to you soon!


    I have four boys Tish can choose from. Four! There has to be a match in there somewhere. I don't want my children to date until they are graduated from college, so there is plenty of time still! :)

    XoXo Susie.

  41. This is *THE* best thing I have ever heard come out of the mouth of babes. Priceless Glennon. I will never think of sprinkles the same. And making the mugs??? LOVE IT. What a way to treasure and (keepsake) those memories.


  42. Chimmy, Thank you for so eloquently expressing my thoughts. We should be striving for peace and harmony, not alienating those that do not believe as we do or at all. Any religion that proclaims their way is the ONE way or the ONLY way defeats their own claims of inclusiveness and succeeds only in division.

    P.S. Has anyone else caught the irony of my profile picture as counter to my claim to not make it all about me? 😉

  43. Jennifer — Taylor sounds pretty fandamntastic too!

  44. Long live the Princess! Great story! Now that my niece is potty training, maybe finding sprinkles at the bottom of the potty bowl will help.

    G – Are you keeping tabs on the growing list of suitors? At this rate, Tish will have enough for her own bachelorette show 😉

    LWL – I'm glad you were able to work out some of your struggle on your faith journey. Yes, in the Christian faith, the basic goodness in you is the divine within… God.

    Heather M – I'm with you. While many religions may have their own truth, way and life (Christianity is not the only religion to make this bold claim); there are many ways to nurture our spiritual selves. There is a common thread across all faiths, and we should embrace what is universal among them.

    "When we are caught in notions, rituals, and the outer forms of the practice, not only can we not receive and embody the spirit of our tradition, we become an obstacle for the true values of the tradition to be transmitted. We lose sight of the true needs and actual suffering of people, and the teachings and practice, which were intended to relieve suffering, now cause suffering. Narrow, fundamentalist, and dogmatic practices always alienate people, especially those who are suffering. We have to remind ourselves again and again of our original purpose, and the original teachings and intention of Buddha, Jesus, and other great sages and saints." Thich Nhat Hanh (author of Living Buddha, Living Christ)

  45. Susie,

    I can't find your email address. Can you email me again? I still want to hear your story. :-)


  46. HILARIOUS! Girls are so much fun, they really do say the funniest things. Mind if I tell you my funny Taylor story, it's one of my favorite's even though it humiliates me.

    Picture it, bath time. Taylor is probably 2 1/2 maybe 3 and I was taking a bath with her. She stops playing with her toys, looks at me and with the most serious look on her face says to me "Mommy, how come your boobies are so sad?" and proceeds to lift them you so they are "happy".

    Tish reminds me of Taylor. They are both pretty spunky little kids. Can't wait for the teen years.

  47. My six yr old just said, "Mommy! You just snorted!" – yep, yep I did. That was hilarious. Good luck with that Tish, she's going to keep you hopping!

  48. Glennon,
    When my only daughter, Lexie, was 17 mos. old, we brought her baby brother home from the hospital. My sweet and loving baby girl turned into an angry force of nature that shocked us all. She was tough and mad and mean. We even gave her the nickname "alcadis", which meant that she was so terrifying that she would scare alceda (the terorist cell) if she were sent over there. We all tried very hard not to make Lexie mad… Lexie is now 12 1/2 years old. She is right in the middle of the whole hormonal tween thing and she is a dream. She can be very, very, very dramatic at times, but for the most part she is sweet and helpful and giving. She is like a second mother to Noah and she loves Jesus so so so much. I just wanted to tell you this , because I think Tishy is right where she should be and there is some blinding light at the end of the tunnel! She sounds awesome to me and we would be glad to take her off your hands anytime you need a break. With Lexie being the only girl, we know how to have some serious fun and girl power times!
    XoXo Susie.

  49. That is hilarious! She is my kind of girl!


  50. Tish sounds like an absolute treasure and will keep you laughing and confounded for years to come.

    A note to LifewithLove, I'm trying to be gracious when I say that it is statements like yours that drive me further away from Christianity rather than toward it. The idea that "the only good thing we have done" or "ANY goodness" is from Jesus is to my ears condemning all other forms of spirituality or religion. I also strive not to be "ME ME ME" and to follow the Monkee motto (trying hard not to be jerks), but I also respect that there are many ways to get there, including thru Jesus, but he is not the only way. Please try to understand I am not diminishing your faith or what he means to you. It is obviously meaningful and necessary and I celebrate that, but I guess I wish that we could be accepting of other means to the same end.

  51. Glennon, you almost killed me. I was mid triscuit and hummus when I got to the punchline and nearly died choking on my cracker! I love this kid! Sure Hudson is a bit younger, but can we add him in the running to marry Tish? I mean, obviously she's going to line up all the guys and just pick her favorite one day, so maybe she'll pick the tall one :)

    Give your little sprinkle bottom some kisses from the Monkees!

    Abbey Braun

  52. thanks for making me smile on yet another snow day in Stafford County!

  53. Tish is toooooo CUTE!!!! I LOVE this story!!! Thanks for sharing and giving me a good laugh this morning!! :)

  54. That is a hilarious story! I love how she clarified it for you guys.

    I do have a question though that comes purely from a place of struggle for me, not trying to play devil's advocate or anything like that. And for those of you who are not believers in Jesus, this might seem odd, but please be gracious to me as I sort out something in my own faith.

    The only reason we are of any worth or fandamntastic goodness is because of Jesus and the fact that we are redeemed through Him. The only good thing we've done is choose Him and that in itself is because of God's grace allowing us to do so. So, if you truly believe that, the only way you can believe that there is ANY goodness in you is because of the Lord Jesus.

    When I love myself for myself out of myself because of myself (get the picture of ME, ME, ME?) I will inevitably come up short sighted seeing the world through me-lenses. When I get so wrapped up in myself which is kind of where I am right now because I'm trying to figure out how to love me…

    I need to step back and realize that I can only love me when i first love Him. I can only see goodness in me when I see that it comes from Him.

    Thanks for letting me sort that out, Monkees!

  55. I actually have tears streaming from my eyes from laughter… people at the office are looking at me funny.

  56. I love these stories of Tish. She is a hoot! Don't they say the darnedest (sp?) things?!

    On another note, I have recommended your blog to a few of my friends with 'strong-willed' children that need your encouragement.

  57. This might be why Henry plans to marry her.

  58. Love those princesses :)

  59. I can't stop laughing. Thank you.

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