Well, folks, here it is, Hell’s Kitchen.
Just look at it. Yikes. Can you hear the Jaws soundtrack playing in the background?
See the refrigerator, the last appliance standing, trembling in fear due to my presence?
Actually, I don’t want to talk about this room anymore. Too scary.
Let’s turn our attention instead to this section of the kitchen, although it’s equally terrifying to me.
Most of my friends, when they glance at the Wailing Wall, note that our family calendar looks different than theirs. Ours is…emptier. So I think it’s time for me to share something that might be very hard for youto accept. I’ve revealed a lot of sordid secrets on this blog, but the one that you’re about to read usually causes my friends the most anxiety. So let’s all take a deep breath first, okay? Are you ready?
Even if you look hard, you won’t find anything on our family calendar about soccer or dance or art or scouts or baby music class or whathaveyou. Because… here goes: My kids don’t do any extra- curricular activities. Nothing.No sports, no violin, no ballet, no Future Rocket Scientists Club, no Spanish…Nada.
I could insert the predictable comment here about how instead my children are perfectly content sitting around banging on pots and pans… but….moving right along.
Our decision to remain activitiless is considered child abuse where we live, so my neighborhood friends, who love my kids like their own, seemed concerned for a while. But then they all read this blog and got their priorities straight. Now they worry about our nutrition and general well being instead. And so they invite us to their soccer games sometimes and send over first aid kits and leftovers.
We have always depended on the kindness of neighbors.
So there you have it… my family has no lessons, so sports, no TV, no top sheets, no pans, no buns. Have I mentioned the bun situation?
We have hamburgers and hot dogs twice a week, but I find buns, much like top sheets, to be an extra extravagance for which I do not have the time, space, or patience. So like extra curricular activities, we pretend that buns don’t exist at my house.At my high school reunion picnic last week, Chase and Tish got in line to eat and when they saw the spread, Chase said with shock and VOLUME, “Mom! This party is so fancy! THEY HAVE BUNS!”I looked at him wearily and noticed that Tish was holding an open hot dog bun and licking the inside. Because she thought it was a Twinkie. I considered being mortified, but then I remembered that I’m generally too tired to be mortified. So I just looked to my friend Jennifer for help, because she reads the blog and is therefore sympathetic to our situation. She quietly suggested that maybe we should take some of the leftover buns home with us and talk about them and their many uses.
Kay, I said.
Have a great Monday, friends.
You know I often get a side glance when I mention we don't really do a ton of activities either. I find my kids just aren't into them and prefer them to do things that make them happy than to have the drag them to activities screaming – which I have done. We are probably one of the few in my 'hood that do not have our kids signed up for this, that and everything in between and quite frankly its less stressful on them and US.
OK good! I hear the mom's on my street all complain about doing these things yet they still do them. I, thanks to you, now think it's ok NOT to do extra things… Serioulsy I praise myself on the fact that we are all still ALIVE and I haven't killed Todd so activities? Please… I need pills just to be able to calm down enough to get out of the house!
At least you can work the crack pot, I mean coffee pot, that I saw in the corner. I gave Jeff a Kuerig for Father's Day last year because I noticed my friends never finished the coffee I attempted to make them in our old pot. See, if coffee counts, you're a better cook than some!I was actually talking with Kelley today about overscheduling. Last week I was stressed as Alex spiked a temp Tuesday morning. I wasn't stressed about my child's health, but about having to cancel six things for Tuesday and Wednesday that I was supposed to do/be in charge of. I think God was giving me a time out and a chance to reprioritize things. I usually have to hear things many times for them to get through to me, so your post was timely and meaningful, as always. Sometimes I think you're spying on me and writing just what I need to hear. Thanks and love to you Glennon!!!
I AM TOTALLY WITH YOU WHEN IT COMES TO ACTIVITES. Ellison is 3 1/4. She has never taken ballet. Or dance of any sort. Or tumble tots. Or "mommy and me". Or Gymboree. Or swimming. Or whatever-the-hell-else there is out there. See — I don't even know what else there is. One time I signed Maddox up for tumble tots. But, I was 4 weeks post partum after a c-section with Sutton and realized QUICKLY that there was a better way to get myself out of the house. So, we quit. Maddox plays lacrosse and football and Sutton plays football. These occur ON THE WEEKENDS when John and I can go together. No practice during the week. I sit there at the games and listen to the other moms talk about the activites. I kid you not…the other day a mom was talking about the activities for an EIGHT year old and it was violin, piano, Korean, lacrosse, football, basketball, and black belt in karate. I'm sure I left one out. Seriously? It's insanity. I pray my kids have something more meaningful to write about on their college applications than the # of activities they participated in. I guess I feel a little guilty that I cannot seem to manage the activities… I just cannot see piling everyone into the car to go from activity to activity. When do you feed the kids? How do you get the baby to bed? When do you BATHE them? Homework? I know they're going to want more activities and I think this is my latest fear about working. How the hell will I get them to activities and work, too? Our school had wrapping paper order pick up today from 2:30 to 3:30. That was the only time you could pick up. Uggh. Am I the only working mom in Ashburn??? I'm thinking I'm going to be "Melissa on a Bad Day" for Halloween and act out how I feel everyday!
Glennon — I am SURE you children will be wiser and more well rounded than anyone else out there. And, I believe firmly in IF MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY, AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY.
I like the method of depraving your child of anything awesome, so when you give them something, like a bran muffing, they think it's the greatest thing ever.
My favorite thing about this post is Craig in the picture.
We don't do activities either. My (4) siblings and I pretty much didn't as kids and we survived…and it was a lot less stressful. Yeay for less stress. 
Oh! I want your kitchen BAD!! Can I come and cook there? I'll share-promise!
By the way, did you secretly clear the countertops away just for the pic or are they always like that? Lessons on how to keep my kitchen (and the rest of my house for that matter) that clean please!Love the bun story-hilarious!PS: Also love how Craig is wrapping his arms around you in the mirror. That is precious.
I have a sign a wooden sign actually in my kitchen that says "I only have this kitchen because it came with the house". I think I'm going to have to get you one for your kitchen, since Craig won't let you buy anymore wooden signs; he never said you couldn't get them as gifts, right?http://www.realwoodcreations.biz/i-only-have-a-kitchen-because.html
BTW, my word verification was "POOPE."
Is it okay to be jealous of your big, open kitchen even while not being jealous of what's (not) cooking in there?Love the fact you guys aren't scheduling the kids in activities. It's easy to bow to the pressure.
I love the bun story!! I get a good laugh whenever I'm at the grocery store and see the buns sitting there on the self, all alone, with no Melton's to take them home. I will forever think of Chase.
Wow – I really feel the need to dole out some advice to you about your kitchen. But wait, I am too tired and forgot what we were talking about. Oh yeah, how my TV screen blew up this weekend and I screamed in my head, "OH NO – THE CHILDREN!" as in 'what in the name of all that is holy will entertain them while I read Us Weekly and get makeup tips from Scarlett Johnanssen because we kind of look alike?!' (ummm, notsomuch).Activities are overrated. However, we will have ONE activity this week titled Electonics 101 or "Watch While Mommy Cries in the Corner While Daddy Electocutes Himself Via The Television." The kids are excited. xo
hahaha…I was wondering about the bun story ever since Jennifer mentioned it. That's awesome. And I LOVE your kitchen…it's so big, so much countertop space. Not sure what I'd do with it though, since I don't cook much either (much to my husband's dismay – he thinks it's included in my "work contract" as a stay-at-home mom…lol).Pilar
Hahahaha! That is awesome. ou have no idea how much we are alike. I don't do "extra" activities either. It is way too much work and planning. Currently, each child can do 1 thing. The big boys do boy scouts, beacause someone in this family needs to be prepared. Lexie dives once a week, and Jack does bowling. The only reason they get to do these things is because other people have offered to take them and pick them up. They usually play with each other after school, because all the other neighborhood kids are off doing things, EVERYDAY! I think it is important for kids to play, make things up, have free time. So, Bravo to you! Xoxo Susie.P.S. I don't cook either.
Thanks for the nod Glennon.I too, do not "schedule" my children. Church two days week is hard enough for me to get all the shoes and clothes (usually mine) on.Plus, we have gym class (jump-on-daddy), soccer (kick-anything-out-of-your-way-that's-in-your-way) and spanish lessons (PBS) without every having to get out of our pajamas…
Good for you for not bowing to the pressure of Northern Virginia that demands you have your child's life charted out with rigorous activities that will improve their chances of getting into Harvard (because after all, that's how they will measure their success in life, right?)Stay faithful to what you know is true! And trust me, you're saving a TON of money avoiding that stuff anyway . . . which you can put directly into their fund for going to Harvard (so they can measure how successful they are in life)…Smiles, K
I'd like to offer official credit to Jeanette for the pan-joke-of-the-day today. She spun it into a comment last week. Excellent work, Jeanette.
Hahahahaha! She thought it was a Twinkie!! Priceless.