Jul 272009
 
  1. I believe in grace because I share my home with proof of its existence.
  2. We got rid of our TV service a few months ago. The quiet is strange, but nice.
  3. I have no idea how I survived the first three years of my life without my sister. It seems as impossible as living without lungs.
  4. I published a book a while back, and I want to write a second, more personal one. But I’m having trouble getting started, because I’m afraid everything I write will be wrong, or self serving, or immature.
  5. I am a recovering alcoholic and bulimic. 7 years sober…so in many ways I’m actually 7 years old. Sometimes I miss excess booze and food, in the same indescribable way you can miss someone who abused you and repeatedly left you for dead.
  6. I am afraid of my temper like it’s some other person over whom I have no control.
  7. I believe strongly in downsizing, in simplicity. The people I respect most in the world are those who quietly choose to live with less so that others might have more. Unfortunately, I conveniently forget this daily as I drive to the mall to buy more crap. One of my most frequent and fervent prayers is that one day what I do and want will match what I respect and believe.
  8. I have never, ever, said the word f-a-r-t out loud.
  9. I am an insomniac, and a caffeine/sugar addict, and refuse to admit that they could be related.
  10. I am a crappy Christian, which I’m pretty sure is the only honest kind. Nonetheless, I’m deeply in love with Jesus, and I think he’s wild about my crazy self too.
  11. I would finally rather be kind than cool. But both is the dream.
  12. Craig is the only human being who could have healed me. We are opposites in many ways, but we want and love the exact same things. I have chosen never to stop falling in love with him, and I’m more grateful that he has made the same choice than for anything else. I am also comforted by the fact that he is contractually obligated to love me, and that without me, he could never, ever find his shoes.
  13. I want to like animals, but I really don’t. At all.
  14. I don’t know how to do anything in moderation. Or how to keep an even keel. I am either very high or very low.
  15. I want to do big things for God, like adopting an orphan, but have trouble even doing little things for God, like not being a jerk.
  16. I love classrooms and children. I run a preschool where my students and I practice being patient and kind.
  17. I can’t listen to the first few notes of Amazing Grace without feeling like the wind’s been knocked out of me.
  18. I want more children, but most days I don’t have enough energy for the three I already have. I think I might want more babies just because I love naming them.
  19. I am way too confrontational. I’m working hard on offering grace to people, and ridding myself of the belief that everyone should get what he deserves, except for me.
  20. Some mornings Craig and I meet for coffee at the kitchen table before the kids are up, and read the Bible and talk about Jesus. This is my favorite way to start a day.
  21. Years ago Craig and I vowed never to brag about ourselves or our kids to anyone other than grandparents. Keeping this promise is harder than it should be. I often find myself thinking about how amazing I am for being so humble, so there you have it.
  22. Craig thinks I torment myself and others with my tendency to analyze (judge) everyone and everything. To that I say, whatever.
  23. I don’t handle criticism well.
  24. I am unable and unwilling to sustain relationships with people who talk but don’t really listen, or with people who boast. I always break up with them, regardless of gender. Again, working on #19.
  25. I was never truly happy a full day in my life before I met Craig, and since I met him I don’t think I’ve ever spent a full day unhappy. I find that both pathetic and perfect.

Jul 272009
 

Craig and I are in the early stages of ruining our family and home by adopting a dog. This week we’re discussing whether the dog should come from a breeder or shelter. Since people are always comparing dogs to men, I have concerns about the shelter route.I’ve never cared for a dog before, but I have cared for men…and while it always felt exciting to take in one who needed rescuing, it usually saved me a lot of hassle when I chose the well bred kind.

So the debate continues.

Jul 272009
 

Last night I excitedly served a beautiful salad with dinner instead of our standard frozen brocolli. Craig sat down to eat and said without sarcasm, “Honey, did you cut this tomato yourself?

And this is why I love my husband: because he always notices the tomato. Isn’t that all we want? For our puny but painstaking love offerings to be noticed and appreciated?

I wanted to reply YES, HUSBAND I DID! And not only did I CUT the tomato but a few days ago I DROVE to the grocery store and remembered to BUY the tomato because I was feeling very homemaky and thought it might be nice for us to have a fresh salad one evening. So I WROTE “tomato” on my GROCERY LIST so that I would have one for JUST such an occasion as tonight’s dinner! Do you believe what a grown – up I am and how organized I must be to have a GROCERY LIST? And so tonight when I was making dinner, I REMEMBERED that the tomato was in the refrigerator and I CUT it, and then I put it in the salad! And just look at it now, it’s so RED! Our salad is COLORFUL! And did you notice that I got out the salad tongs too??? And can you imagine that I did all of this while simultaneously keeping our three kids alive? I mean the tomato thinking and writing down and buying and remembering and cutting and finding the tongs weren’t even my MAIN JOBS this week! THANK YOU, HUSBAND for understanding that this tomato situation is a MIRACLE!! And I’m sure you can also understand that after all of this miracle working I’ll need a break. Dishes and bedtime are, obviously, on you.